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Doc; Ready For Edit
Topic Started: Oct 8 2012, 11:35 PM (359 Views)
Dr.Harrison
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Wolfrik
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Character Name: Doc

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Type: Weapon

Partnered?No

Image: Weapon Form:

Clothing and description: Human form: Doc stands at a height 6 feet 1 inch with shoulder length straight white hair. Doc usually keeps his hair in a messy bed head fashion letting it spike and curl where it wants and just leaving it to its own device. Doc’s skin is pale almost a ghost like white from all the time spent indoors. Even though Doc spends a lot of time indoor he refuse to forget about his physical body often working out leading him to have a well formed 6 pack and toned muscles on all over his body. His eyes are a greenish grey in color with the iris surround by a slight blue ring. His eyesight is slightly below average requiring Doc to wear a pair of contacts for his eyesight. He weighs about 130 lbs and is avid eater consuming twice the amount that most normal people would eat. His favorite piece of clothing is a light blue long-sleeved button shirt that is always un-tucked from his khaki skinnies and a long white lab coat. His shoes are Black converse high-tops.

Weapon Form: Doc is a very unusual weapon being a knitted scarf and all. In his weapon form he is about 12 ft 8 inches with a bold white line traveling down the center of a black scarf with a white triangle trim pattern. In weapon form Doc prefers to be worn in a twin tail fashion with the scarf wrapping once and leaving two scarf tails in the back.

History: Doc’s official name at birth is Dante O. Capello born June 5, 1994. Doc as a child had no worries born in Boston to a loved community doctor for a father and an equally loving mother. Doc’s childhood was filled with aspiration for his family especially his father. In Doc’s eyes his father could do no wrong he saw his father as the man that not only saved lives but saved those who had lost their way in life.

As the years passed and Doc grew up and started following in his father’s footsteps at the age of 13 often going to the clinic that his dad ran. Starting his studies trying once again to be closer to his father Doc showed great knowledge in the field of medicine earning him a place in the special medical division of Tufts Medical Center at young age. This allowed him to work in the same area of expertise as his father did; the area of mental research and human psychology. Doc began working with his father who was a Therapist at Tufts where he and his father dealt with recovering drug abuse patients. Though Doc was still a child he showed a great deal of compassion and understanding that most adults wouldn't give to someone like a recovering drug addict.

Doc and his father seemed like a perfect pair working and researching together it would seemed like Docs life was turning out perfect but like all good things they faded away. Doc and his family had fallen on hard times when the hospital had to cut back due to problems with the economy and even though Docs father was great at what he did it simply wasn't enough to keep his job. With no job and only the money he saved over the years Doc father slowly sank into deep depression with in the months following. The money that his father had saved over the years working so hard was being used up by his mother who had taking a liking to drowning her problems with expensive things and alcohol. Along with the money being flushed down the toilet the house was under foreclosure and it seemed like calling bankruptcy was the only option for Docs father to do. Doc was not only losing his home but his family. While his mother became distant from the home she was often found drinking and returning home at all hours of the night leaving his Doc's father to take the burden. Spending day after day trying to find work but never being able to find a job that would hire him nearly pushing himself to near death; it eventually broke him. After coming home from an interview for a late shift job Doc noticed that his father hadn't left home all day. It wasn't like his father to miss a day and not call in and it seemed even stranger that the house lights were turned off. As he enter inside he noticed his father with a bottle of Vicodin from the clinic and a glass of whiskey on the table his father was dead overdose made worse by alcohol.

His mother did not take too kindly to the news of her husband’s death and let it destroy the last remnants of compassion she had held within herself. In the days after the funeral Doc's mother became strangely negative towards him it started out as small comments but it then quickly escalated and within months the negativity turned into extreme verbal abuse. The abuse continued and Doc slowly lost all confidence in himself and anything that he did he knew that in his mother eyes he would never be good enough and that as a "failure" he must learn his place as to be a stepping stool of society. After one whole year of constant abuse Doc decided it was best to go live with his uncle who at the time was a teacher at a high school in Cambridge. His uncles quickly took him and try to get his mother counseling for her abuse problems his uncle also tried raise him as his own but as fate would have it Doc started showing signs of being a weapon nearly a few months after leaving home. His uncle knowing that the best place for Doc would be far away from home sent Doc to DWMA to study and learn. Before Doc left he went to see his mother at the physc ward where she got her therapy. While there he noticed vast improvements in her behavior and attitude towards her late husband but as he left the door and said good bye his mother leaned in and whispered in his ears "disappointment". With a harsh goodbye Doc made his way to DWMA where he hopes to change his mothers mind before he loses his.



Personality: Doc is a very optimistic guy often looking for the best of people never seeing a person as actually being capable of committing evil. Doc often sees that people are driven and that drive can lead them to stray from the right path and he believes that he can save them from the evils they commit. He is always seeing a chance for his enemies to redeem themselves even going as far as questioning them to find out their reasoning for being evil or going down the path they did.

Always trying to have a good time Doc looks for ways to bring happiness from the outside in thinking this will quell his hurt soul from the struggles of his father’s death. This has lead Doc to seem quite overbearing and not focused seemingly making him look like the foolish goof even though he may be very serious. Though Doc may come off like this his need to care and try to help those he sees trumps out anything. Willing and able to put him out there and in danger if it means he can help a fellow person out this blind kindness is often abused.Doc also has serious self doubt problems that stem from the hate of his mother. Doc rarely believes that he himself can accomplish anything and that it’s because of this weakness that his father end up dying the way he did.

Doc rarely finds anything that can sway his ever joyful heart except when it comes to his own abilities. Doc often disowns himself and is very doubtful of any skill that he possesses. When talking about himself Doc will almost always portray himself in an extremely negative light never given him any credit for any achievement that he has earned. This extreme self negativism can really put a hamper on the moods around him and is also one of the main reasons Doc has a very low friend count since one moment he is as bright and happy and in the next he is very sad and depressed.

Never the one to start a fight Doc is very opposed to conflicts and in most instances will refuse to fight if attacked by a normal average person. The few times Doc loses his cool is usually if someone is harming another person. Doc sees life as precious and the act of violence towards another soul causes Doc to take on a serious attitude even then Doc will try his best to never let his anger to overtake him. Doc's anger when truly mad is more of a silent rage that stays deep within his heart. It is the kind of anger that never shows in words or actions but by simply the way he looks at you.


Abilities: The powers and special abilities that make your character different to a normal human being.
If you have any 'moves', such as Stein's Soul Purge, please use the following formula to describe it for *each* ability. Copy/paste it as many times as you need.


Technique Name: Full Transformation
Effects/Description: Doc is a very unusually weapon being a scarf and all. In his weapon form he is about 12 ft 8 inches with a bold white line traveling down the center of a black scarf with a white triangle trim pattern. In weapon form Doc prefers to be worn in a twin tail fashion with the scarf wrapping once and leaving two scarf tails in the back. Doc's original form is when he is worn as a scarf by his Meister.

Technique Name: Movement
Effects/Description: Doc while fully transformed can act as two limbs. They have the same basic strength as Doc. In this form Doc works like a pair of moving hands and can throw punches, grab opponents, and even going as far to balance out there Meister.While weapon form Doc is a animated scarf which mean he can move on his own but he needs to be with his worn by his meister to help him do this. When not with a meister he is just a normal scarf

Technique Name: Gauntlet- By Wrapping the scarf around the Meisters arm Doc can increase the strength of the arm itself. When wrapped Doc concentrates on making his soul smaller and denser this increases the power of the wrapped arm. The power it bestows upon the Meister is equivalent to half the Meisters strength.Doc can only increase the strength of the arm for 2 mins once used there is a cool down period of 30 mins before use again. Max.3
per day

Combat Style: Doc also has a tendency to hold back on almost all opponents, even when in danger Doc will hold back if he feels that he is inadequate in anyway usually letting his opponents words affect him far more than most. This has proven a serious problem with Doc and can endanger those around him instead of staying focus on the battle at hand. Doc is also a big user of terrain seeing it as a way to set up effective situation for combat in the most creative way. Doc is never the one to jump head first into hostile situations and doesn't do well under the pressure of direct combat with Kishins. When faced with direct combat Doc will opt to move into more strategic locations places in which he can climb and help maneuver his Miester to safety. Docs most preferred places during missions are cities, forests, factories, etc. places in which he can take full advantage of his surroundings. Doc also likes to take into account the skills that others have. Taking in account these skills Doc finds the help of those with certain skills to be more advantageous in certain situations usually partnering with somebody that would cover a certain flaw that he has or make the battle more efficient. For the most part you can say Doc is a very sensitive fighter and such is very in tune with the battlefield even though he may have a more cowardly fighting style. His open wiliness to account for the environment, tactics, and skills of others make him an excellent person in leading forces though Doc would never believe this.

While in weapon form Doc will act as his Meisters Second pair of hands and engage in combat with his Meister. Doc prefers to scope out an area to help give his Meister useful information than fight. Doc when in head to head combat will be defending trying to protect his Meister while trying also to create openings within the guard of his opponent. While in Human Form Doc will engage the opponent with caution never making the first move until it absolutely necessary Doc's has inexperience with this type of hand to hand combat and sometimes can fall short since he doesn't have a partial form.

Miscellaneous Information: Doc is a big fan of poetry as a way to express a lot of his feelings.

Strengths:
  • for this section try to summarize your character's combat advantages ^_^ (eg: Really fast- can turn invisible - has super sniper skills)
  • Is very Strategic
  • Decent understanding of the human mind. Doc at a very young age started trying to be a therapist so he knows a few things about the human mind. He takes advantage by judging and reading an opponent so he can devise the best tactic against them.

Weaknesses:
  • For this section try to summarise your character's combat disadvantages ^_^ (eg: Can't hit anything red - Really dumb at strategy - gets tired after a few attacks)
  • Self Doubt
  • Fear of being lonely

Roleplay Sample:

Life is eloquent it is strange like an uncut diamond in the light often mesmerizing to anyone who sees it always attracting anyone from afar. Just like bees to flowers, we have no choice life always carrying us with its sweet scent to the precariously perched fauna in the hanging garden by the windowsill. If choice was part of the equation then yes we are guilty and will always be guilty of what we have done but choice like anything else is a pursuit of control of an uncontrollable element in our lives. Truth and lies, revenge and justice all lay on the same coin but not on different sides but hidden between the lines like the white stripes in the static of a television or the ridges on the sides of a twenty-five cent coin. So tell me who are you to decide fate, who are you to pass blameless judgment on those poor bees that buzz around with no home tell me who? Cause I would very much like to give those bees a nice hive a place to stay if you will and all they have to do is churn and churn and churn till I have sweet honey just sweet sweet honey.

It was a line from a poem he wrote when he used to live in Cambridge with his uncle. For awhile it seemed so surreal that things were happening the way they were he had a nice small apartment far away from his troubles, a new school to look forward to, and to top it all off he hadn't heard a single word from his mother. It was shaping out to be something more than just an excuse to leave home maybe if just maybe he played his cards right DMWA would be his true home for awhile.

“Well that would be a nice thought wouldn't it? I could live here and just fade away from the world I once Knew but is life ever that easy. I know that soon this yellow warmth is going to turn into black ice and all this will just be another ruse to leave there. Well I can always hope can’t I?"
Edited by Dr.Harrison, Mar 4 2013, 12:13 AM.
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Raikai
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Does the bus run through here?
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Hey there, I'm so sorry it took so long to get to you, but I'm here now so shall we get started.
Over all this is a nice character but I think all around you could use a little polishing. Generally just try and expand in places.

My only big specific issues are with your weapon form. Doc is just a bit to strong for a starting character. I think it is fair to ask that you one remove the expandability to 24 feet, that's really long. Also could you cut his modes down to one? Most players only get a single weapon form, and while you're not exactly doing it in the same way weapon form manipulation is a death scythe ability. You can train for all of these, but I don't think they're fair to start out with.

This is a nice character and I think with a little polishing it'll be even better!

Iluris Couture-Desrosiers |____ Cassius Kelly____ |______ Raine Doyle _____ |___Locke Lindström_ | Runa Kamila Fiala_________
_____________Dhamphir |___Meister and thief _ | ____Psychic Meister____ | _Demon weapon Bhuj_| Magical Girl Meister__
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Dr.Harrison
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Wolfrik
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Hey guys i need and edit. Thanks
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Tatsuken
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Ok Doc looks pretty good, so I'd like to focus on combat aspects again.

Abilities

I would like you to separate part of your full transformation, specifically the fact that the scarf is animated and can still move and can do things like attack or help balance a meister. This is because most weapons cannot do this, so this is considered a separate ability.

For gauntlet form, the timing stuff is a bit iffy, 2 minutes is a definite thing, but 2 posts is not, so you may end up with a cooldown period of a couple of hours or days or a cooldown period of a few seconds. Which is why we normally try to keep things consistent when we use either units of time or posts. Of course we'll try and keep common sense if a post does a time skip we can assume full cooldown, i just want you to know what kinds of time can pass in two posts. If you decide to keep the posts or convert both measurements into posts do you mean your own posts? or each post after the ability stopped?

Next you put Maxx. 3, first off maximum only has 1 x. 2nd, do you mean 3 times in the entire thread? 3 times a day? 3 times per meister? or that in his lifetime Doc can only use this ability 3 times?

Combat Style

First few lines seem redundant since you're saying the same things over and over again. A lot of punctuation is missing in this area and makes it difficult to read. It otherwise seems much better now.

Strengths and Weaknesses

some of these aren't truly strengths or weaknesses, remember this is primarily for things that would affect the way he fights. For example, Strategy lover is a character trait, but not a strength nor a weakness, heck i love strategy too and i suck at it most of the time. There is a difference between one who loves strategy and one who is strategic. Don't mind if you leave kind and gentle, it still affects combat.

I don't quite see how fear of being alone (or do you literally mean being the loneliest?) affects combat, fear of being like mother/father is a bit iffy but i can see it. I think you meant loneliness, but just to clarify, is he afraid of being alone? or is he perfectly fine with being alone as long as he is not the most alone person in the world? I think that would be difficult to accomplish unless he ended up being shot up into space and left on a perfectly habitable planet that is also deserted. that kinda thing.

Anyway that's all the mods i can do for now so do your best.
Den Ekigane
Color Code: #666 || Demon Liquid Metal Weapon

Sigil Nathaniel
Color Code: bgcolor=white color=#006 || Two-Star Meister, Werewolf, and Blacksmith || Remaining Lifespan: 476

Charm Lyn
Color Code: #F93 || Weretiger Meister || Remaining Lifespan: 484

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Dr.Harrison
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Wolfrik
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EDIT
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Tatsuken
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Couple of minor edits, this first one is a repeat, so i emphasized the important parts

Abilities

I would like you to separate part of your full transformation, specifically the fact that the scarf is animated and can still move and can do things like attack or help balance a meister. This is because most weapons cannot do this, so this is considered a separate ability.

another mod talked to me that this wasn't too clear. Ok, as this is the combat section, any comedic instances of canon demon weapons moving don't count, same with OC Demon Weapons. The fact that you can attack and help your meister because the scarf can move is what makes it a separate ability. Actually there's a preceding demon weapon where movement was merely there to gain a better grip on the meister or to escape a situation and it used up a training thread.

To clarify, no canon demon weapon has ever shown the ability to move in full weapon form without it being in a comedic situation, even if there were 1 or 2 it was special to them. There has been a preceding OC demon weapon where movement was an upgrade but movement was limited somewhat. In Doc's case it is a scarf offering two extra limbs that Doc controls and can use to attack, defend, balance, presumably grab things for, and help meister stand up again, Which implies more strength than you would expect from basically a strip of cloth. This is why i am asking you to put it as a separate ability.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Ok, you keep putting things that are mostly character traits in here, now, explain them. Why does being kind and gentle give him an advantage in combat? Why does a fear of being alone or being like his parents give him a disadvantage?

On another note, it is implied that he fears becoming like his mom in history and personality but nothing exactly against his dad. There is also nowhere else in the profile mentioning his fear of being alone. Please add these details in or come up with something else. You can do this Doc, you're almost there, this mod is more about silly inconsistencies rather than improving your writing, although i suppose it kinda does that. Remember the goal of a profile is so other people can understand the character better and maybe even RP the character, in situations where you allow it or it is needed of course.
Edited by Tatsuken, Dec 17 2012, 08:02 PM.
Den Ekigane
Color Code: #666 || Demon Liquid Metal Weapon

Sigil Nathaniel
Color Code: bgcolor=white color=#006 || Two-Star Meister, Werewolf, and Blacksmith || Remaining Lifespan: 476

Charm Lyn
Color Code: #F93 || Weretiger Meister || Remaining Lifespan: 484

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Dr.Harrison
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Wolfrik
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EDIT annd hopefully the last one lol
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Tatsuken
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APPROVED
Den Ekigane
Color Code: #666 || Demon Liquid Metal Weapon

Sigil Nathaniel
Color Code: bgcolor=white color=#006 || Two-Star Meister, Werewolf, and Blacksmith || Remaining Lifespan: 476

Charm Lyn
Color Code: #F93 || Weretiger Meister || Remaining Lifespan: 484

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