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Winking Judge: Guacanator; Of Gods, ancients and aliens
Topic Started: Mar 9 2009, 07:41 PM (438 Views)
Sebastian Dash
Adventurer
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]

Handler Information

Name: Guacanator
E-Mail: Kmail is preferable
Instant Messenger (and type): KoL messaging


Character Information

Adventurer Name: Guacanator
Birth Name: Human Test Subject 16, later Thomas Zuak
AKA: G2
Occupation: Out-of-work Semi-god.
Character Class: Sauceror
Place of Birth: An alien spacecraft
Base of Operations: The Winking Judge

Gender: Male
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 200 lbs
Eye color: Bluish-greenish
Hair color: Dirty Blonde with black and blue highlights

First Appearance:
Physical Appearance: Guacanator has the appearance of an average slightly out-of-shape ordinary human 24-year-old male. His round, boyish face conceals thousands of years of ancient wisdom. Guacanator has a clean-shaven face and a small, thin scar on his cheek.

Dress code: Guacanator wears clothes that show off his eccentricy. Or insanity. He wears slightly faded blue jeans and a T-shirt like any other human. Over this, he wears a floor length trench coat that has thousands of pockets and secret compartments to stash items in. His head sports an old, black fedora. His feet are clad with leather boots. On his hands are leather and steel gauntlets. Strapped to his back is a longs sword in a scabbard. He wears many odd trinkets as jewelry, including a packet of mustard as a necklace.

History: Hundreds of Years ago, aliens abducted an unknowing loathing-er. These aliens just happened to be bored out of their minds, so they decided to run experiments on this unfortunate Loathinger. One particularly gruesome experiment was forced Ear-Spawning, a technique who's aforementioned Gruesomeness is so great it is incomprehensible. (But know that involves growing offspring from a subject's discarded ear) The by-product of this Ear-Spawning activity was human offspring. The 15th of these offspring, Dubbed Human Test Subject 16, (The abductee was Human test Subject 1) was especially well liked by the aliens, as he possessed strong will power. The aliens subjected 16 to gene therapy, gifting him with magical abilities and extreme intelligence, in addition to an unstable personality and slight insanity.

After being deposited in Seaside Town, 16, now 15 years of age, took on the name of Tom Zuak. Zuak went on to become a successful businessman selling an exotic Dip he called Zuakamoly. Made from a strange green fruit he found on a far away island during his travels, Zuakamoly was an instant success. Zuakamoly soon ran into to trouble, though. The New Emperor of Loathing, who had a hatred of the letter Z, outlawed the 18th letter. (At that time many letters did not yet exist) Zuak and his Zuakamoly were ruined. As per law, Zuak changed his name to Uak and his dip to Uakamoly. While adventuring in the Nearby Plains, Uak ran into a large herd of alphabet giants. They taught him of the secrets of the alphabet, including the 8 letters that were unknown to humans. With this newfound knowledge, he renamed himself Guac. As such, he called his dish Guacamole.

Guac was discontent with his petty life as an entrepreneur, and decided to escape to the mountains to try and find a new and exiting life. It was there that he found a strange, yellowish pond whose waters could be made into a bubbly beverage. But that's another story. At that time, Mount McLargeHuge was home to an assortment of gods and goddesses. When Guac discovered this mountain, the deities decided to kill Guac for trespassing. Guac, using his negotiating skills, was able to convince the gods to use him as a court jester instead of Killing Him.

Through the years, Guac ascended through the ranks of the gods until he was finally promoted to a full-fledged god. With this promotion came a new name, Lord Guacanator. For almost 400 years, Lord Guacanator reigned over his people, acting, as any god should. But things did not turn out well. During of the God Wars of 12 years ago, Lord Guacanator was stripped of his rank by the Toot Oriole, who was at that time the chief god.

Historical Note: The Toot has since been replaced. Virtually none know of his previous godhood. Until a few years ago, very few knew he existed at all.

Guacanator, now a mortal, stripped of his powers, living in the Kingdom of Loathing, had trouble adapting to human life. He could not find a job or housing. He was forced to sleep on a small, square piece of ground owned by a kind gentleman who has since been turned to soup. This all changed when he met Higgy, a strange longhaired biker he met during his travels. Higgy offered him a free drink at The Winking Judge, a pub managed by Higgy and owned by his dear friend, Galafrone. Guacanator, overcome by joy at this act of kindness, decided to try out this pub. The moment he stepped into the Winking Judge, his luck instantly changed for the better. Higgy and Galafrone took a liking to Guacanator, offering him a position in the WJMC, a clan that used the Winking Judge as a base of operations. With the help of his clan mates, Guacanator quickly gained strength, wealth, and power. He gave his all to his beloved clan, ascending through the ranks until he became a senior member and administrator, only second in rank to his clan leaders, Higgy and Galafrone.

Skills and abilities (main strengths): Guacanator is extremely intelligent, using logic to solve many problems. His willpower is unrivaled.
4-5 Strong points (Additional minor strengths): Guacanator is greatly observant; he can see things others can't. His skills of cooking are also impressive, especially when it comes to spicy dishes. He has a keen memory, acute senses, and a knack for magic.
(main) Weaknesses: Guacanator's main weakness is his fitness. He spends more time pouring over ancient tomes and looking up strange trivia than he does buffing up.
3-5 Weak points: In addition to his unfitness, Guacanator can be absent-minded at times. He can sometimes even forget where he is. In addition to this, Guacanator is oblivious to modern day human life, and has trouble fitting in with his fellow humans.



Major stats: (Total must be 38 or less. Adventurer "average:" 5-7.)

Brainfulness: 10
Craftiness: 10
Brawn: 6
Weapon awesomeness: 6
Hide thickness: 6



Minor Stats: (Total must be 18 or less. Adventurer "average:" 3)

Food Mastery: 6
Lucky Bastnick factor: 2
Cool Factor: 3
Magic Potential: 6
Athletic grace: 1

Other notes:
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