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| Dixie Guide to Travel - Daniel Craig; The tiny region where British Actor Daniel Craig is god | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 18 2012, 07:39 PM (178 Views) | |
| Jack Dixie | Oct 18 2012, 07:39 PM Post #1 |
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![]() TRAVEL Dixie Guide to Travel – Daniel Craig The tiny region where British Actor Daniel Craig is god ![]() Our new travel section finds the oddities of the Nationstates world. No, we’re not going to United Kingdom and say “gosh, Pete, this looks kinda British”. We want the weird regions, the forgotten regions, or the regions nobody else dares go. What a better place to start than the Nationstates equivalent of a cargo cult? Welcome to the one-person region of Daniel Craig, founded by the Republic of Daniel Craig. Regional description? Daniel Craig. Of course we had to go. Getting into the region is the challenging bit. Not because they are unhappy to tell you at great lengths about the exciting film career of… well, you know. We had to fly to some neighbouring regions and take a boat into the island, which was quite expensive because none of the locals wanted to go. Once we landed, it didn’t take long before we were witnessing the strangest site I may have ever seen. The locals had spears and had painted their bodies so that they had white and black paint resembling a tuxedo. We met the chief, who our guide translated for. He said the nation had been around for a short while and decided to become a region shortly after. He took us to the capital which, unsurprisingly, was called Daniel Craig. The first thing you notice is that most people live in the capital and it’s not a bad city. It’s quite tropical and very nice. Almost inoffensive, but then you start to notice the Craig-erry. Shirts, bumper stickers, billboards. Everywhere the loud speakers blared the themes to Casino Royale and Skyfall. You would pass cafes and people would be silent watching the trailer of Skyfall, which you get the awful impression they’ve seen before. We headed to our hotel, which was called Casino Royale and settled in. It wasn’t a bad place but there had to be something about Daniel Craig or even James Bond that caused this. There had to be a reason. I flicked on the tv in the hotel, which had only Daniel Craig movies playing. Even our shower curtain had tiny pictures of Daniel Craig on it. The soap was shaped like Daniel Craig. We headed out to a beach-side service for the Church of Daniel Craig, which most people on the island belong to. It’s very dark and very quiet and all the locals are wearing tuxedos, none of which fit very well. Then you hear a strange murmur of excitement as the President of the Republic of Daniel Craig gets to the stage, and begins to talk the lessons we can draw from Daniel Craig’s role in the obscure British film Love is the Devil. After the service, we flagged down the President, who refused to say his name but just insisted he be called the President. I asked him if he believes Daniel Craig is god. “Yes, Daniel Craig is god. He will come to the Republic and there will be no more sadness. He is our saviour.” Then he was escorted away. I began to get sick of hearing about Daniel Craig. We were supposed to be having coffee with Ivan Kathunda, a journalist who had left the Republic after discovering Daniel Craig was not god. “We were raised to believe it. It all dates back to the first settlers here. People were not educated. Some British people came, brought lots of goods to the locals and watched Daniel Craig movies. The locals had never seen such wealth, or movies so they assumed the British people must be watching an apparition from god.” “I understand that the youth might not know but surely the elders have some idea that the outside world doesn’t feel this way.” “I think some of the elders do know but why would they give it up? They have a successful hold over the people. Everyone watches Craig’s movies and quotes them but meanwhile, the region is completely isolated, and there is no wealth.” “Was there ever any attempt to Christianize the island?” “We are so remote that no missionaries came besides the British soldiers. Six of them. And now 20 million people worship Daniel Craig.” “Why did you leave the island?” “I wanted to be a journalist and went to the South Pacific to get advice. I did local stories here. There I realized that nobody cares about Daniel Craig. I told my family I didn’t want to come back or worship anymore. They didn’t understand.” Ivan Kathuna is not the only one to escape the island republic. Michael Takontu is the head of a group of exiles currently residing in the South Pacific. “It’s a shame, people come here feeling isolated and we have to reintigrate them into society. We become their families… for some, it’s impossible to go back into society because the belief is so deep. The shock that the world is full of sinners … it’s heartbreaking to them.” ![]() “The shock that the world is full of sinners … it’s heartbreaking to them.” On our final night in the Republic, there was a local festival, one of the almost weekly routines that are enforced to ensure belief in the cult stay high. A street festival with delicious local food, and lots of Daniel Craig merchandise, as well as tuxedos and costumes for sale. There was a stunning festival of lights after and I wondered if this was really crazier than believing in a flying spaghetti monster. I mean, it did work for them. We left early the next morning and as we boarded our boat back to civilization, we were given a DVD copy of Layer Cake. |
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