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| "Sascha" Dates Taboan Celeb CEO on Reality TV | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 31 2012, 03:02 PM (333 Views) | |
| Alqania | Oct 31 2012, 03:02 PM Post #1 |
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"Sascha" Dates Taboan Celeb CEO on Reality TV![]() Actor Marcus Wind is one of the contestants for Taboan CEO Gabriel Keegan's heart on reality TV Cocktown Observer Marcus Wind, 24, confirmed today that he is one of the contestants on the latest reality TV programme to come out of the United Kingdom of Taboa, A Shot At Love With... Gabriel Keegan. The Alqanian actor, most known for his previous role as "Sascha" in the German-language, never-ending hit soap opera Immer wieder geht die Sonne auf, or simply die Sonne among fans, joins other contestants, male and female, in pursuit of bisexual Gabriel Keegan, CEO, publisher and TV personality from Taboa, all on prime time television. "A Shot At Love With... Gabriel Keegan is the first season at the 'A Shot At Love With...' franchise where a series of contestants, both male and female, compete to win a celebrity's love", explains the producer. "Contestants don't have to be a celebrity and they can be either male or female as the celebrity has to be bisexual in order to star in the series." Gabriel Keegan, 24, has made a name for himself as the CEO of international magazine publishing company Keegan Publications, producing titles such as XY, Note, Modest and Whisper Gossip, and has appeared frequently on Taboan television. ASALW is not the only reality TV franchise in which he will appear; Mr Keegan will be a contestant himself on the next season of Big Brother: Taboa. "This is a really fun show and I'm happy to be a part of it", says Wind as the Observer reaches him. "I like how different it is from what I have done before, it's a fun challenge." And a challenge it may be. So far, only two other contestants, both male, have been named, Daniël Protoque, 24, from Grittonia and Ellis Templeton, 23, from Discoveria, but names of more contestants are expected to be released before the programme premières. Perhaps even contestants from Antarctic Oasis? "You know I can't tell you that; you will have to wait and see", Wind teases. ![]() Gabriel Keegan is looking for love |
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| Kenny | Nov 26 2012, 10:51 AM Post #2 |
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King of California
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Judge Sandy laments decline of youth morality SAINTE-SABRINE, Thorland --- Conservative activist and former presidential contender Sandy Schweitzer is none too happy about the influx of "errant lifestyles" "infecting" youth culture of late, blaming its rise on everyone from Ricky Martin to "Chaz" Bono to the stars of "Glee." Not even Alqanian actors can escape Schweitzer's judgment, it seems, especially when they sign up to date a dude on international TV. "We must confront this fundamental threat to our society, our families, our basic morality," Schweitzer said recently in response to Marcus Wind's announcement. "We must stop this festering evil from continuing to corrupt our young people, and most importantly, we must stop its practitioners from recruiting others to join by promoting it on our airwaves." "The time has come to protect our children from this unnatural temptation," she went on. "The time has come to protect them...from reality television." The former federal judge faulted reality TV especially for "transforming so many promising young men into shameless manwhores -- I mean, for God's sake, just look at what it did to President Fernanda!" Fernanda, apart from the being the region's most notorious male slut, also played one on TV when he starred in the televised boxing tournament, The Contender, in 2005. "I fear that if he's not careful, our young Marcus Wind could turn out the same way," "Judge Sandy" warned. Asked by a reporter whether she minded that Wind also apparently prefers the company of men, Schweitzer just shrugged. "As long as he doesn't do it on reality TV, it's fine with me," she said. |
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| Alqania | Nov 30 2012, 11:22 AM Post #3 |
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Speaker 1: "You are watching AATV, a member of the RABC family. At this time tomorrow, tune in for the exciting season première of Are You Smarter Than a Penguin?, followed by the latest episode of award-winning period drama series Maison de Plaisance. Later tonight, we join pious and determined Brothers on an extraordinary quest in Hunting the Invisible Panther. Tune in at midnight for this week's episode of hit soft porn series All Around the Wicked World in 80 Naughty Nights, where a multinational team of mountain climbers are hit by an avalanche and must cuddle up or freeze to death. But now, live from Studio Six in Cocktown, Discuss!, the show where every opinion matters!" Speaker 2: "AATV cautions its viewers that the following programme is a live broadcast, in which opinions may be expressed that can be found offensive, blasphemous, hateful or traitorous." Tony Treer: "Hello and welcome to Discuss!, the show where every opinion matters! In tonight's live programme: Zombie Outbreak in Nanovia - Tragic Catastrophe or Government Propaganda? And later: National Security or Scientific Advancement - Is Non-Proliferation Policy Reconcilable with Academic Freedom and the Right to Education? But first: Reality TV - Friend or Foe? Kennyite former presidential candidate Sandy Schweitzer claims reality television is a fundamental threat to society and is turning young men into sluts, in a response to actor Marcus Wind, better known as 'Sascha', appearing on a Taboan dating programme. Marcus, what's this all about?" Marcus Wind: "Maybe it would be better to ask Ms Schweitzer, because I'm not sure what her problem is. I don't know how much Alqanian TV she's seen, but my character in die Sonne was not exactly a prude. Should we also stop making soap operas, because they have characters in them that are male sluts? 'Sascha' slept with way many more people than there are even contestants in A Shot At Love." Prince James Gabriel: "What is wrong about being a slut anyway? This is supposed to be the 7th century, has this anti-sex position suddenly time travelled here from the pre-Queenification days?" Tony Treer: "Your Royal Highness is often described as the biggest slut in the Royal House, is that an exclusively positive epithet?" Prince James Gabriel: "Not when there are prudish idiots around who seem to think that having lots of sex is somehow a bad thing." Donna D Reed: "This isn't about sex! It's about sex on TV! Look, when I was in Country House, I didn't go there to make porn, but the whole thing turned into an orgy. I mean, come on, think for yourself, people, if you throw together two dozen fit people in a house with nothing at all to do and give them all the booze and drugs they could handle - well, not really handle, but you get what I mean right? - what do you think they're gonna get up to? It's simply irresponsible and wrong of TV companies, exploitation!, to do that if they're not gonna pay the people a decent porn salary." Tony Treer: "In fact, you claim you were then forced to have sex on camera in Crime Rehab." Donna D Reed: "Exactly! I mean, after I'd done it once, production companies expected me to have sex every time I was on TV again! If I hadn't, they wouldn't have let me in." Tony Treer: "But wasn't the fact that you then were a convicted criminal serving a rehabilitation sentence more damaging to your reputation than the fact that you had previously had sex on television?" Donna D Reed: "I would never had been convicted if it wasn't for my rep as a reality TV slut. That trial was totally unfair and biased - they thought I had done it just because I had done it on camera. I mean, it's not like I actually molested that guy, but just because I was seen as a slut, they were convinced I was guilty of sexual harassment." Tony Treer: "Right. Your Royal Highness' mothers starred in The Duchesses of Hestby. What if they would have had sex on camera?" Prince James Gabriel: "Then good for them! I don't think I would have fancied watching it, but there are plenty of programmes that I avoid already. And let me be clear on something: Both I and the Peace Love Sex Party are completely in favour of keeping the viewer cautions before programmes containing sex." Tony Treer: "Marcus, how do you feel about the slut label?" Marcus Wind: "Well, if what Ms Schweitzer worries about is that I'll end up like the Kennyite President, then I guess there are worse things than being a slut. I know who I am, my friends and family know who I am, what Ms Schweitzer and everyone else thinks doesn't really matter unless I would suddenly decide to run in some ungodly popularity contest like a presidential race." Tony Treer: "This is obviously a topic we could talk more about, but we need to move on to the next discussion. Any final remark, Your Royal Highness?" Prince James Gabriel: "Moralist and prude republican conservatives are a much bigger threat to society than sluts on television ever will be." |
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| Kenny | Dec 3 2012, 12:49 PM Post #4 |
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King of California
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[upbeat music plays for a few moments, then begins to fade...] Sandy Schweitzer: You're listening to "Judge Sandy" on AM 480 KTTL, welcome back folks! Today's topic: Alqanian decadence! That's right, far away in the curious little country of Alqania, many public figures are taking issue with my innocent remarks about how reality television is destroying our youth and corrupting our culture, and have taken to their national airwaves to extol the virtues of sluttiness, and smear Yours Truly as an out-of-touch prude who is probably more responsible for the decline of our culture than the nationally televised orgies they frequently indulge in. And in possibly one of the more bizarre asides from His Reputed Royal Highness, Prince James Gabriel, in our inevitable societal downward spiral we have more to fear from "republican conservatives" than we do sluts on TV. Now folks, I have lived in a republic all my life, and I fail to see what is wrong with it; perhaps his highness will agree to appear on my show to explain how incestuous monarchies such as his are somehow superior to our august constitutional democratic government? ...Which I ceaselessly rail against every single day on this broadcast -- I freely acknowledge that, folks -- but you see, that's different; it's my government! But that's a topic for another day, I'm afraid. With me now to discuss Alqania's shameless embrace of moral depravity is newly minted Vice President of the Federal Republic, Jessie McArthur, fresh off her election by the Federal Congress. Thank you so much for joining us, Madame Vice President... Jessie McArthur: What up, Judge? Sandy: Now at this point, I should apologize to our viewers; we were unable to get Empress Jhessan to come on our show this afternoon -- after all, who better to expound on the topic of sluttiness than the biggest slut in the whole damn region? -- but you of course are certainly a world-renowned slut in your own right, Madame Vice President, what with the-- how many congressmen did you have to sleep with to get your job? Jessie: Oh, I lost count once I worked my way up to the Senate... Sandy: Indeed. Such a wonderful role model you are for young women across this country. But who do you blame more for your sluttiness? "Republican" prudes like myself, or your early career as an MTV reality madame? Jessie: [laughs:] Don't be silly, Sandy. I wasn't a "madame." I just hosted a show where horny dudes paid money to hook up with hot young women! Sandy: [dryly:] I fail to see the distinction. Jessie: Heh, you would. But on the subject of blame, you are right, Judge Sandy. Sluttiness is not something one can achieve on her own. Indeed, many people have contributed to my sluttiness -- oh, there was Mike, and Keith, and Logan (oo, he was hot!), then of course there was Alex, Steve, Prince James Gabriel... Sandy: So, you do not blame moralist conservatives for your central role in perverting our culture and poisoning the minds of our young people? Jessie: Well, I don't blame them for that, but I do sort of blame them for getting me fired from MTV... Sandy: You were performing sex acts on a microphone on live television, that's how you got fired from MTV. Jessie: Wrongfully fired! That's what the courts said when my lawyer got me off... Sandy: ...by claiming the microphone was a "consenting adult," that's how he got you off. Yes, that was a great day in Kennyite jurisprudence... Jessie: ...and then he pulled me into the conference room and got me off literally. It was a great day in more ways than one, Judge! Sandy: Yes, well, you're obviously very proud of your loose and morally negotiable behavior, but do you honestly think it's good for society? To so shamelessly promote this wayward lifestyle of recklessness and public debauchery, which you obviously learned well while on reality television? Jessie: Y'know, Sandy, you can degrade me and my "lifestyle" all you want, but I really don't care what you think of it, because it's obviously gotten me this far! I'm the Vice Fucking President, bitch! Sandy: Yes, and so was Antigone Morgan, the preening little harlot. What does it say to you about a society that has elevated two women to the vice presidency within the last ten years -- the highest-ranking women politicians in Kennyite history, no less -- and yet neither one of them bore any tangible qualifications for the post? Do you really think this is good for women? How do you sleep at night? Jessie: Underneath a pile of basketball players, I think that's obvious! Sandy: Indeed. Well, I'll let you get back to that whorehouse you call a federal government. Thank you for being with us today, Madame Vice President. And coming up later this hour: you think Jessie McArthur is the only women audacious enough to come on talk radio and openly promote slutty behavior in young women? Believe it or not, she is not alone! Sandra Fluke will join me to explain not only why she thinks those Alqanian sex-fiends are right about the virtues of moral bankruptcy, but also why the taxpayers should be obliged to pay for it. You will not believe what you hear, next on KTTL... |
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