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| The Year that Was: A Palentine Retrospect | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 24 2015, 11:03 AM (104 Views) | |
| The Palentine | Jan 24 2015, 11:03 AM Post #1 |
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The thinking man's pervert
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(AP:The 'Burgh) as a new year begins once again its time to look back on the biggest stories from the Palentine from the past year. At time to reflect on the ups, downs and most importantly which regional stud her Hotness in banging in the WA's 18th floor Women's Restroom this year.![]() Have you seen this man? One of the biggest stories this year was on the disappearance of our beloved Emperor Captain Spaulding I. It had been months since he was last seen on the golf course and people were both relieved and worried...relieved that they were no longer blinded by his rather colorful old fashioned golf attire, yet worried at the same time about his disappearance. Rumor soon abounded that he had either died, and the Imperial family was hiding the fact, or that had been seriously injured in a freak accident(readers will remember the infamous Ball Washer incident on the 5th green two years ago). Another rumor pointed to Xt-Tap kidnappers from Ohmigodtheykilledkenny, although ImpSec denied the incident. It was also suggested that His Dooziness was abducted by aliens, although we are rather puzzled on why the Aliens would want him. The final and most accepted rumor is that when Antigone Morgan was going to make a televised region wide announcement, the Emperor fearing that she was announcing another movie or TV show fled for parts unknown. We contacted the well know political scholar and Imperial historian Clive Throckwaddle for his insight and he responded by saying, "The Emperor's disappearance is totally within his character. After all, his most famous quote is 'Sod this noise! Lets go to where the action is at!' His Dooziness simply decided to look for some excitement." In the months that followed there had been numerous Dooziness sightings all over the Palentine and region including one blurred photo showing a man wearing a fez and gaudy golf clothing fly fishing with another man wearing a sequined jumpsuit, fishing vest and silver cape. It was said that both men were looking great. ![]() A smiling and laughing Empress urges ex-President Fernanda to keep up with the pack. (AP: Malibu Islands) Her Hotness Empress Jhessan made some improvements to her private island this year. For years she used the island and villa as a place to relax and play beach volleyball with her friends. To the fun, sun and all around bounciness she has added a bicycle trail around the island. The empress is said to have always enjoyed cycling and sees this as an added attraction to the island. Also it has been said that she added the trail because she was concerned over Manuelo Fernanda's heath and well being...Her hotness noticed that after prolonged watching volleyball games the ex-president's pupils were moving up and down for about 15 minutes after he stopped viewing the game at hand. Also her Hotness said the trail would do wonders for his cardio and stamina, especially when they<at this point good readers we must censor this report as the Empress went into great graphic detail of what they were going to be doing later that day>. |
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11:35 AM Jul 11