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| News from the Palentine | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 27 2016, 11:47 AM (116 Views) | |
| The Palentine | Jan 27 2016, 11:47 AM Post #1 |
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The thinking man's pervert
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![]() The Imperial Mother is not amused. (AP: The 'Burgh) The Imperial Mother has decided that her daughter, Empress Jhessan should settle down. In a recent interview Dowager Empress Lydia Spaulding stated that her daughter ought to get married and settle down into domestic tranquility. "My daughter is in her early 30's, its time for her to take her responsibility seriously. She needs to settle down. My twin grandchildren are almost 5 years old, they need a good father figure as a role model lest they turn out to be like Kennyites. I know my daughter's love life is entertaining for the media, but this is not a reality TV Show." Her Hotness has not responded publicly to the comments of her mother, however sources inside the palace state that the Empress has been quietly contacting a few former suitors including the Grand Duke of Antarctic Alquania. The Empress has also been seen in the company of Palentine Space Authority Astronaut Major Regis Thom. The couple was spotted at Cosmo's, one of the Burgh's 5 star restaraunts. More scandal for the Empress ![]() Video footage allegedly of Her Hotness in the WA Shower. There is more scandal for the Empress. Infamous pornographer and creator of Babes gone Wild, John Boy Billy Bob Flint has released a new DVD called Milf Empress Gone Wild. The DVD contains footage from security cameras from the WV Assembly 18th Floor Woman's Restroom. Said footage shows the Empress and former President Manuelo Fernanda having a "consultation" before being busted by the WA Gnomes. Said footage is alleged to be from the aftermath of the passage of the International Criminal Court a few years ago. The DVD also contains some hidden camera footage from one of the Shower Rooms of the WA Gymnasium. The two clips are grainy and of poor quality. It is alleged one of the clips is of the Empress and the Thessadorian Ambassador getting very friendly. The other clip is allegedly the Empress and Manuelo Fernanda getting very friendly. The faces of the participants are too hard to make out with any clarity and the sound quality is very poor. It is unknown how Mr. Flint got ahold of the footage, especially the WA security footage. The Palace, and Her Hotness has not commented yet on the allegations made by Mr. Flint. |
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| Kenny | Jan 27 2016, 04:19 PM Post #2 |
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King of California
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Fernanda now may face charges in The Palentine as well MALIBU ISLANDS --- Years after fleeing his home country to escape certain prosecution, disgraced ex-President Manuelo Fernanda is now on the verge of being charged with a felony in his newly adopted country, after threatening to "blast" Palentine national hero Maj. Regis Thom to "a tin can far above the Moon" if he doesn't stop "sniffing around" his "good buddy" Empress Jhessan. Prosecutors for the Evil Conservative Empire would not comment on whether they actually would level charges against the former Kennyite leader. But it appears Kennyite authorities are intrigued by the prospect of volunteering Fernanda for another form of imprisonment. "We are very happy to hear that the empress is considering marriage," said Julian Estrada, Kennyite attorney general. "We think it only fitting that the Federal Republic and the Palentine cement their 'special relationship' by marrying Her Hotness off to the former president. Look, we even picked out a tux!" He held up an orange jumpsuit. The Kennyites have been after the Imperial Palace to extradite Fernanda to his home country to face accusations of attempted murder and resisting arrest, but the empress so far has brushed off such requests, citing a provision in the Kennyite-Palentine Extradition Treaty allowing local authorities to require a "thorough examination" of the accused before approving the extradition. "And believe you me -- President Fernanda has been undergoing very 'thorough' hands-on 'examinations' since he got here!" said Jhessan. "And I'm not letting him go until I finally get to the bottom of things." Others had suitors in mind for the imperial ruler. The State Department suggested Alex Tehrani, the reputed father of Jhessan's test-tube babies. The Palace, however, was cold to the proposal. "Tell Alex's little 'buddy' Chuck he has to find his own spouse, and we can talk," they reportedly responded. The Kennyite Ambassador to the Palentine, Susannah Batko-Yovino, has also been trying to marry off her brother Susa for some time -- and seeing as Jhessan already declared him the winner of the first season of "Who Wants to Marry an Empress?"..."It might be time for Her Hotness to finally fulfill her promise," said the ambassador. Susannah may have ulterior motives for the match-up, however. First off, because she is rumored to be involved in Captain Spaulding's 2014 disappearance, and she has her eye on smoothing things over with a familial bond. And second, things have been getting rather hot and heavy between Susannah and her reputed beau, Franco "Rocky" Sulla, the former Defenestrators linebacker, and she'd very much like to avoid an unexpected separation should the Empire decide to expel her. In related news, the Thessadorian Ambassador is questioning the authenticity of security camera footage purportedly showing her and Her Hotness "getting very friendly" in a WAHQ women's shower, even going so far as to belittle the endowment of the woman in the video. "Surely my assets are more impressive than that?" quipped the ambassador. |
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11:35 AM Jul 11