| We carry on where we last left off, the formation of Chet Rippo's very own mercenary group!; Professor Chaos | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 16 2014, 01:57 AM (17 Views) | |
| Atticus | Jun 16 2014, 01:57 AM Post #1 |
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But first! A...![]() Click Here Over a quiet little mountain town that is known for being destroyed by something or other every week, something large and purple can be seen falling from the sky at an incredibly fast rate. But you need to feel no fear for this bulbous purple guy that's falling. No, Chet Rippo never dies. Why, Chet Rippo never even gets hurt. He might appear to get hurt sometimes, but he's always the same Chet Rippo both on the inside and outside. Even if a crazed mask salesman carved Chet Rippo's stomach open, Chet Rippo would just get right back up a few seconds later, perfectly fine. That's just how Chet is.
He never dies. He's simply relocated. Upon his impact with the snowy ground, a note that had been hastily attached to his stomach with green ink scrawled upon it is crumpled and left behind in the snow, as the purple thing known as Chet Rippo saunters off into the distance towards the small little mountain town. "Sorry, to those who inhabit the area wherever Chet lands. I'd like him to take him along with me, as Chet's always been a great buddy to me in comparison to some of the other assholes I know, but I don't think he'd be really welcome where I'm going. Besides, Chet's gotta be Chet. He can't have old Green Jester weighing him down. He's gotta be free, man. Free like a big purple bird, except that he's not really a bird. And it's not like I have access to interdimensional portal ways like goddamned Mr. Cut Your Face Off And Wear It does, so firing Chet out of an interdimensional space catapult I rented from space K-Mart seemed to be the only way to go. I'm sure he'll be fine. He always is. I just hope he doesn't cause too much trouble where he ends up... well, gotta go. I apologize that I personally won't be able to fuck up this version. But hey, maybe it's time for someone else to have a chance at ruining the version. I can't always be around to do what I'm best at. A character that's immortal, will never go away, AND is overall, a lame character? Why, that'd be rather dumb to keep such a character around at all times. Sincurly, The Green Jester PS. You just fucking wait, guys. Me and Skorne's fourth army, it's going to redefine the word failure. I'm serious. Going to set new motherfucking milestones, buddy." Chet Rippo passed the sign that read "South Park." Supervillain: Leopold "Butters" Stotch, "Professor Chaos" -----Fatal Flaw: Innocent At Heart (despite being a pronounced supervillain, is against doing seriously evil things, like blowing up hospitals) Legendary Item: Professor Chaos Helmet Entourage: Evil Allies Cthulhu, "Great Old One" Satan, "Lovable Demonic Father" Damien, "The Antichrist" Saddam Hussein, "Wacky Iraqi Dictator" Nazi Zombie Happy Mask Salesman, "...Fuck." Dougie, "General Disarray" Chet, "Captain Rippo" Scott Malkinson, "Sergeant Diabetes" Spehs Mareen, "Disgruntled Minion Leader" Lemmiwinks, "Pet Gerbil That's Seen Too Much" The Minions (voiceless subservient evil hamsters) Extraordinary League of Grim Reapers (servants of Professor Chaos) Heroic Enemies God, "A Buddhist" Jesus Christ, "Killed By The Jews Twice" Kenny McCormick, "Mysterion" Stan Marsh, "Toolshed" Kyle Broflovski, "Human Kite" Ike Broflovski, "Don't Kick The Goddamned Baby" Timmy Burch, "Iron Maiden" Jimmy Valmer, "The Bard" Bradley Biggle, "Mint-Berry Crunch" Jack Brolin, "Captain Hindsight" Gobbles, "Physically Deformed Turkey Man" Lobster Boy, "Just An Actual Lobster" Battle Points: 0 Coins: 0 Base: U-STOR-IT (self storage facility) Projects: 1. Make Chet a superperson, he is not truly good or evil, he is simply Chet. He is the Chet the people deserve. (0/100, WM) 2. Unleash the Storms of Chaos (0/50, LW Ability) 3. Get a Ninja Star in the eye, still manage to walk around the rest of the episode perfectly fine, he's motherfucking Butters (0/50, Passive Ability) 4. Fuck! Shit! Assrape! Donkeyballs! Unclefucker! Jews! Barbara Streisand! (0/50, Cartman ability) Machines of World Domination: None Tools of Chaos: None Log 0, Day 0 A ten year old blond boy dressed in tin foil stood from the top of South Park's self storage facility "U-STOR-IT" wringing his hands menacingly. Another boy, a second grader, stood next to him dressed in a similar get up. They were of course respectively Leopold "Butters" Stotch otherwise known as Professor Chaos and Dougie the second grader, who was known as Professor Chaos' trusty number two, General Disarray. Professor Chaos: "It's a perfect night for evil, my trusty sidekick, General Disarray." General Disarray: "What dastardly plan do you have up your sleeve this time, Professor?" Professor Chaos: "We're to meet up with The Coon soon. He has a proposal he wishes to discuss with us." General Disarray: "The fat kid that dresses up as a raccoon? Wasn't he the one who was partially responsible for Cthulhu rampaging across the country and didn't he almost get us to blow up a hospital once?" Professor Chaos: "Yes, General Disarray. But even while he's a bit unhinged, it'd be rude to not at least listen to the plans of another evildoer like us. Besides, he said it was really important. I'm sure it won't be like the other times. No, I'll make sure that it won't be like the other times. I'm sick of being pushed around by the Coon! The whole reason I became Professor Chaos was because I got sick and tired of being the one pushed around, the one that's laughed at! Why, I'll show all of them. I'll make them pay tenfold, as my acts of evil spread all across the world! They throw a ninja star in my eye, get me beaten and grounded by my parents... I'll be the one who gets the last laugh, just you see! Oh, hey General Disarray, can you go down and feed the minions?" General Disarray: "Okay." In the storage unit, a bored hamster in a cage with several other hamsters and a gerbil with miniature tin foil hats was reflecting on his life. Once he had been a grand general of a glorious army in space, but now he found himself in a cage like... well, like an ordinary hamster, made the minion of a pathetic boy supervillain. Spehs had seen far more villainous beings than Professor Chaos, by far... then again, there was to be something respected in subtlety. At least Professor Chaos didn't go running around murdering people and cutting off their faces after eating their hearts. That's not even evil, honestly. That's just... kind of brutal. Spehs' train of thought was derailed, as he noticed the gerbil named Lemmiwinks was staring at him. He was almost about to actually address him, but quickly realized that it would be a waste of time. It was obvious that he was the only rodent like creature that could actually manage to talk in the entire goddamned universe. Frankly, it was getting old. It was one thing when he was around those he could boss around, but now that he was stuck with his own much less quiet kind, it was actually sort of depressing. These hamsters didn't know what it was like to lead an army into battle. These hamsters probably couldn't wield a set of blades and battle a gigantic toaster robot. These hamsters did nothing but drink some water, or eat some seeds. Occasionally, they might run on the wheel or poop. That was all their existence meant to them. Though, that gerbil on the other hand, that gerbil had definitely seen some twisted shit. It was like when he looked into those black and soulless eyes of Lemmiwinks, that he was actually looking into the eyes of some strange boy statue that possessed the soul of a human child that had been drowned by his father, then repeatedly carved and cut into a statue, and then given ownership of to a monstrous demonic entity. The only main difference between Lemmiwinks and Ben was that Lemmiwinks had been shoved up a gay man's rectum. Spehs: "I have the worst fucking cameos ever." Somewhere else in South Park, a group of at least five Grim Reapers simultaneously find and kill Kenny. Those bastards. Edited by Atticus, Jun 16 2014, 04:31 PM.
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7:58 AM Jul 11