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| Joke of the day; Tell a joke or two. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 8 2013, 08:11 PM (225 Views) | |
| The Stalker | May 8 2013, 08:11 PM Post #1 |
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The Mad King
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Joke of the Day! Tell a joke! MAKE ME LAUGH. We all need to laugh. ---------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear. -------------------------------------------------------- If you know a joke post one! DANCE FOR ME MONKEYS!! |
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| War-Salvaged Soldiers | May 9 2013, 06:03 AM Post #2 |
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Twisted Soul
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What do your first car, and anal have in common? You don't really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. What do wearing crocs, and receiving a blow job from a guy have in common? Both feel great, until you look down and realize you're gay. |
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| The Stalker | May 9 2013, 06:58 AM Post #3 |
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The Mad King
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Whoa dude it's NOT GAY if your thinking of a girl! ----------- How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them! |
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| War-Salvaged Soldiers | May 9 2013, 12:32 PM Post #4 |
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Twisted Soul
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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies, and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage. A teenage girl asked her father if she could go to her school prom. The dad said "Only if you suck my dick." Mortified, the girl ran to her room in disgust, and thought it over. Finally, she went back to her dad, and told him she agreed. As he pulled down his pants, the girl said "Why does it smell like shit?" To which her father replied "Your brother wanted to go too." |
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| Demonsgate | May 9 2013, 12:59 PM Post #5 |
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Fresh Demonic Soul
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What's the difference between a car full of bowling balls and dead babies? You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork. |
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| War-Salvaged Soldiers | May 9 2013, 02:10 PM Post #6 |
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Twisted Soul
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How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off its head. How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor. I always have more, if you like dead baby jokes. |
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| The Stalker | May 29 2013, 12:51 AM Post #7 |
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The Mad King
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The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Miller and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I. |
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| Snoopy | May 29 2013, 05:17 AM Post #8 |
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Fresh Demonic Soul
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Three men are training for the armed forces in a small plane. They are over the pacific ocean and have to make an emergency stop, they are out of fuel. As they crash land on a desert island, the plane smashes to pieces. Leaving the wreckage behing, they go and look for signs of land on the small island. Then, from out of nohwhere, they are grabbed,stripped of their few items of clothing and possesions, gagged and carried into the woods. When they wake up they are surrounded by only men, all chanting, "MUMBUMBO, MUMBUMBO" over and over. they try and run away, but are tied to posts, facing the posts, and cannot move. Only the tribe leader can speak english, and very basic at that. "We Mumbumbo tribe. Death or mumbumbo?" his voice rings out over the now silent crowd. The first man reasons that anything could be better than death, so announces, "Mumbumbo?" The tribe leader confirms, "You choose mumbumbo." Three men from the crowd suddenly emerge, and violently rape the first man up the bum, rupturing organs and causing bad bleading. He is in very bad pain, but alive. The same question is posed to the second man who says- thinking of his family at home- "Mumbumbo i guess..." The tribe leader again speaks "You choose mumbumbo." He suffers teh same fate, and will not sit down in years... When the tribe leader turns to the third man, he thinks to himself, "Anything beats that, even death", so announces "Death". The tribe leader speaks once again. "You choose death... by mumbumbo!" |
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| The Grudge | Aug 22 2013, 08:08 AM Post #9 |
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Satanist
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A cowboy walks into a local saloon. Outside of the saloon is the horse of the bartender with a sign around his neck : "If you can make me laugh, you will receive a free glass of beer". The cowboy walks in the saloon and asks the bartender if he is serious about getting a free pint if he makes the horse laugh. "Yes", the bartender responded, "but you will have a hard time with it! Noone ever managed to make my horse laugh". The cowboy goes outside, and 10 seconds later the bartender hears his horse laughing out loud. When back in the cowboy claims his free pint, leaving the bartender flabbergasted. The next morning, the cowboy goes to the same saloon and again, the horse of the bartender has a sign around his neck : "The person who can make me whine, will receive a free pint." The cowboy goes back in and asks the bartender if he is serious. "Yes" he replied, "but I must warn you, noone ever succeeded in making the horse cry." The cowboy goes outside, and 10 seconds later, the horse is crying very much, not being able to stop. The bartender sees this, again flabbergasted, but gives a free pint to the cowboy. The next morning, the cowboy notices no sign on the horse, enters the saloon and asks why there is no sign out there, as he wanted to earn a free pint again. "Sorry cowboy, but I cannot afford to give free pints anymore, but now you have to tell me how you were able to make my horse laugh the first die, and cry the second day." The cowboy responded : "The first day, I told him my penis was bigger than his, the second day : I showed him." tadem tsh |
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| The Grudge | Aug 26 2013, 10:07 AM Post #10 |
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Satanist
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What is the difference between a toilet and a fridge? ... ... ... No idea? Your disguisting, that you dont kno the difference xxx. :p |
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