| I'm on a mission; Developing Faith | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 15 2017, 09:06 PM (82 Views) | |
| Developing Faith | Dec 15 2017, 09:06 PM Post #1 |
|
700
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Hello everyone. I am a 60 year old male now living in Florida. I grew up however in San Jose California. I went to a Church of the Nazarene for 5 or 6 years when I was a boy but found it rather boring as I am sure most children do. I grew up with a lot of emotional problems for various reasons starting with my father who abused me when I was probably 3 or so. At 8 or 9 I was bullied by kids in school a lot and then later by a kid who lived next door to me. I started doing some very sinful things at a very early age (I am sure what my father did had a lot to do with that) and continued to off and on for years until I found myself in my second failing marriage. I started to wonder why I turned out the way I did and why my life went the way it did. So I saw a therapist for 3 years trying to understand it. I understand a lot but probably never will completely. I am on my 3rd marriage for 12 years now and counting. Our relationship is base on friendship and has been working out pretty good so far. I don't have a close relationship with my mother and siblings though. I never really have and regret that very much. I don't have many friends and find it difficult opening up to people. I guess I have always been that way. I have attended various churches off and on through out the years I guess looking for answers. But now that I look back on the last 15 years I can see God working in my life. I was working and living on the west coast of Florida and had a pretty good paying job. After my second divorce I found my self wanting a change. So through one of the dating site I met my current wife who lived on the east coast and made the decision to quit my job to be with her. So now living with her I continued a sinful life. Although I quit smoking cigarettes in 2001 after 25 years I continued smoking marijuana (which I started at 16) until a month or so ago. After working various jobs I found myself working part time at a deli counter. Unhappy with the situation I called A staffing company who got me some electrical work previously. They sent me to work with an electrical contractor where I now work. I knew he is a very religious man (let's call him Mike) and speaking with him one day about religion he invited me to his church. So one Sunday I went. It is an Apostolic Church. At first I didn't know what to make of it. It is like no other church I have ever been to. I found my self going frequently. And then I started going every week. I continued to do sinful things however and wasn't really getting anywhere. So Mike says "well you need to come to more services." so I started going twice a week. And continued to sin. Then I started going 4 times a week. But nothing really changed for me other than some occasional feelings of peace and happiness. Then one service I went to the alter to pray because people tell me I need to. So I started praying really trying to give it my heart and then I started thinking about my past. Then I started crying and asked God for forgiveness. Oh boy that's what everybody had been waiting for. I'll tell ya I don't know what happened but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I find myself praying and reading the Bible daily now. And I don't find myself thinking about my past like I used to do daily. Since that day I have quit sinning and feel really happy and peaceful most of the time. Although I do find myself loosing my temper sometimes and being really tempted to do a sinful thing. I am hoping these thing will diminish in time. I feel as if I have my feet set on the right path now and want to do my best to stay on that path. But I haven't reached my ultimate goal of receiving the Holy Ghost yet. They tell me it is because I still haven't given myself to God completely yet. I feel that I have always had a real tough time believing all this to be true. And now although yes I am feeling much better about my life I suppose there is still a little doubt. I am afraid that if things don't change and I develop a real belief and develop real faith that I may resort back to my old way of living. I am trying to make sure that doesn't happen but I feel I need all the help I can get. I feel like I can't give up as I have always done in the past when I get to a point where nothing is happening and I don't feel like I am developing faith and I get frustrated. So pray for me please that I don't give up and that I keep on this path I am on. I feel like God has been directing me for the last 15 years or so. I don't think I would have gotten here on my own. Thankyou for your prayers.....Developing faith. |
![]() |
|
| RabbitRedeemed | Dec 16 2017, 04:08 PM Post #2 |
|
Member
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I will pray for you. For most of my life I though of me as not someone God would really want. That's what I believed, but it was a lie of the enemy. God loves you just as you are, problems and all. He rescued me and I was not perfect at all, I'm still not perfect but I am a work in progress every day. We do this one day at a time, like the Hebrews got mana in the desert. I make mistakes, lot of times it seems like every day, but one of my mentors told me boy if you mess up, fess up, He will help you get up. I do and He does. God does not care where you have been, only where you are going. God also led me to an awesome church and I have mentors now, amazing pastors and a place. Maybe pray that God leads you to one if you're not there already. Also no one is ever to old to start because everyone is a kid to God. So I will pray for you, and want you to know that God rescued me and He is big enough to rescue anyone who calls on Him. We are not big enough to mess up God's plans for us. Never give up, because the battle is already won and you are on the winning team. God's blessings! Rabbit
|
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Prayer Request · Next Topic » |





![]](http://z5.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)



Never give up, because the battle is already won and you are on the winning team. God's blessings! Rabbit

2:33 AM Jul 11