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Grim Tidings Indeed; So This Is The Blue Screen Of Death . . .
Topic Started: Jan 13 2012, 06:27 PM (128 Views)
Saphides
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Too slow, weak and wounded, the next blow coming for him came so slow, Saphides dodged with ease. However reality caught up to our favorite struggling Android, always struggling, struggling for purpose, struggling to define himself, in the end struggling out of spite alone. As he side stepped the blow, he found himself gone from the torrid landscape and in a chamber altogether different from any he'd ever encountered. Looking around puzzled, his central processing unit only fired off blanks as it tried to register his whereabouts. He opened his mouth in disbelief and asked the only question a puzzled toaster could ask: "What the fuck?"
Edited by Saphides, Jan 13 2012, 06:28 PM.
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King Yema
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"NEXT - Oh, great, my toaster has finally arrived! How long ago did I order that thing?!" King Yema set his pencil down and cracked his knuckles.

"You ordered that toaster over five hundred years ago, and this isn't a toaster-" One of Yema's plucky blue demon assistants began to answer.

"Bring me my manual reading glasses, a screwdriver and a bath tub full of beer. I'll have this knocked out in no time!" King Yema closed his hands into fists, staring at Saphides with a determined grin.

"Sir, this isn't a toaste-"

"Wait a second, someone give me my ... *sigh* ... new glasses." Yema frowned and outstretched his hand as two of his assistants dropped a giant screwdriver to carry over a huge pair of thick bifocals instead. They almost fell over in the process before the sorting ogre lifted them from their management and placed them on his nose, his eyes magnified threefold.

"THIS ISN'T A F***ING TOASTER, IT'S A ROBOT WITH A MULLET! WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU TELL ME!"

"Sir, I tried to--"

"SHUT IT! You, you are ..." King Yema thumbed through his book of death grumpily, "Sappides. Saffides? Saphides! SAPHIDES! You've been a BAD toaster! HAVE FUN HEATING POP TARTS IN HELL YOU CRETIN!"

King Yema removed his bifocals.

"Sir, you should really keep on your new prescription glasses to avoid further mistakes." His assistant proposed from his hiding spot behind a near trash can.

"I don't like them..." King Yema watched Saphides part with a stone expression on his face, "They make me look dorky."

[ Sentence: Hell ]
Edited by King Yema, Jan 14 2012, 12:11 PM.
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Saphides
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"Hell? Like heaven or hell? You mean that rat bastard killed me?" He mused finally comprehending his fate. What was waiting for him? Eternal damnation, a lake of fire? As he was dragged away he realized he had failed his mission to stop Rayznier. I still wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do. Well at least I won't be surrounded by peace, flowers and happiness for the next infinity. "Big guy, I don't know who you are, but if Changeling named Grim comes by here anytime, tell him I'm waiting downstairs to kill him."
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