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| Life and death... new beginnings or the end?; -Toran's place | |
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| Topic Started: Sunday, 9. February 2014, 23:54 (1,346 Views) | |
| Lucy Fehrer | Sunday, 9. February 2014, 23:54 Post #1 |
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She had asked him to do her a favour. She had asked him to tell her what his favourite food was so she could cook for him. She had asked him to watch the sunrise when really, she knew he wanted to curl into bed with her. And she had asked him to watch the sunrise, when normally he would've been there, but her side as she awoke. They'd had a few odd days after the talk with George. The tattooist having been a bit distant and quiet after what had been said or well, what she thought had been said. She'd been feeling a bit down, though the focus of that had shifted after her talk with the Prince. Which was why, when Toran came back, he'd find her dressed, sitting n the edge of their bed, hands folded and elbows resting on her knees. Quiet. she'd been quiet first because she'd felt hurt. But after she had been given the green light to Embrace... Oh God. She'd been dealing with her own demons and her own fears and insecurities: what would happen? Would he change? Would he still be him? Would he hate her for killing him? Because that was what she was about to do... Would he love her? Once she took his lie and forever silenced his heart? God she was scared. Terrified in fact. But it was what he wanted. And she didn't want him to suffer, as obviously the blood did things to his psyche that was beyond his control. And apparently hers. He wanted to be on equal footing and she wanted that too. just... it was scary. A very scary prospect littered with "what if's" and a lot of uncertainty. And yet, when he came back, she'd lifted her head and smile at him. "Was it pretty?" |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 00:50 Post #2 |
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"It was. A beautiful sunrise... a beautiful sunset. Not as beautiful as time spent with you, but worth watching. I filmed it, if you wanted to watch it with me sometime. I know it isn't the same as being there, but still, since you wanted me to see it, I wanted to be able to share it with you." His voice was a soft rumble. He'd put his foot wrong and she'd been distant. He'd been afraid he'd truly screwed things up with her. While he was bound to her by love reinforced with magical bonds.. there was no such binding holding her in place. If the magic had worn off, he could well lose her. The thought terrified him really. He didn't want to screw things up more with words, as he so often did. So he'd respected her silence. Never pulling away or hesitating to touch her. But he'd given her space and focused on making their home as secure as he could. Finishing the last of the large tasks that required welding. He wasn't sure WHAT he was preparing for really. He was just... preparing. The feeling that a storm was on the horizon hung over him. He wasn't sure what was going to change, but something was. |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 01:03 Post #3 |
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She nodded, her fingers sort of fidgeting as she gave him a small smile and fell silent again for a few moments. It.. was difficult knowing where to start. So, after a few moments of opening and closing her mouth without actually saying anything, she just started.... "I talked with the Prince" she looked at her hands and swallowed, it was obvious, despite the smile when she looked up at him, that she was nervous. He could tell from the light tremble in her voice as she spoke. "He said yes... I am allowed to Embrace you..." and saying those words out loud the full extent of her fears struck her. It was a big step. A huge step, not only for him but for her as well. She had never Embraced anyone before and while she technically knew the theory of it, knew what to do, knew some of the possible side effects, there was no knowing for sure. And the uncertainty of it was killing her. Which was why she was fidgeting, even if she was trying not to. "The choice is still yours" the blonde continued softly. "It's not one I can make for you. Only you know what's right for you. And it's your life... your future..." she bit her lip for a moment, realizing she was tapping her heel on the floor there she sat. "But now it's an actual choice..." and she wasn't sure how to proceed from there. They hadn't really argued, but she had been hurting. Hence the silence. She wasn't sure she could explain to him why it hurt so god damn much without it sounding like she was trying to guilt trip him. And then, after the talk with the Prince... well, that had just brought a whole other level of worry to her existence. "I've told you about all the possible side effects of the Embrace... how it might change you? You know all the risks, I..." yeah, she fell silent and chewed on her lip. |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 01:14 Post #4 |
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"Lilbit. When you Embrace me, I'll have your blood in my veins, yes? Your blood bringing me to life again. You'll be sustaining me forever, the spark the keeps my fire burning. I'm not... good, with words. But I want to have you in my arms every time the sun rises, and have you in my arms when the sun sets. You agreed to take my name... to marry me. When I wake, I'm not going to be waking to Lucy Furher. I'll be waking to Lucy Craig. Your blood in me. Mine in yours. For eternity. I can keep you safe forever, and you can remind me of why the world is a beautiful place with your passion and color and energy. Yes... I might change. But, who can say what the future brings really? The London Eye was destroyed, a plane was dropped on Trafalgar Square, who knows what madness could come next? You stopped me from letting a fear of death keep me from living my life. I don't want to let a fear of change keep us from living my death." It was, perhaps one of the longest things he'd ever said to her. Soft, undemanding in his cavernous voice, his body moving slowly as he came to sit next to her, to try and slip an arm around her. Watching her with his frost-blue eyes. "I know it's scary to consider. But I know you won't let me exist as a monster. I believe, truly... that this will turn out well for us. Don't ask me how I know. Maybe it's stupid. I just... I feel like this was meant to be. So many mistakes and accidents and screw ups have stumbled me into being here with you. Either I'm blessed to have found you... or I'm the butt of jokes of beings far beyond my comprehension. Sitting with you I can't help but feel blessed." |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 01:22 Post #5 |
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Slipping his arm around her, he might feel a light tremble, but she didn't resist him. In fact, she'd lean against him lightly as she spoke quietly. "Am I being selfish...? For wanting you to be mine?" her conscience was gnawing at her, that much seemed obvious. "I was hurt when you said you'd help Roisin like... that..." no, she didn't want to go into details. "I mean... I know it's petty of me, but am I really limiting you by asking that some things be ours...? Be mine.." she finally lifted her eyes again to look up at him. Blue eyes searching his. "I don't want you to feel trapped. I don't want you to recent me... Look past the bond, please... tell me if I'm being unfair? I'll be taking so much from you if I do this..." she worried, worried so damn much that he would stop loving her. That the bond would become but a leash, one that would fester and turn on itself. She'd heard the stories, Hell, she'd seen it happen to others who had gone into such a thing without being honest, open, true... And the simple fact was that if that ever happened, she would let him go. She wouldn't hang on, because she loved him, and the last thing she wanted was for him to recent her. "I love you... I'll love you no matter what... I need your honesty Toran... It's the only way we can ever exist..." without it, no bond would be enough to keep them happy. Keep him happy. |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 01:30 Post #6 |
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"No. You're not. Because I want you to be MINE." His voice was surprisingly fierce as he regarded her with frost-blue eyes and a smile, for once a bit of the dark predator rising in his face as he stares at her, reaching up to stroke her face softly. "I want you bound to me, as strongly as I am to you. I LIKE being secure Lucy. I LIKE strong walls around me. Solid boundaries. Yes, I stumble sometimes. I misspeak, I do something foolish. But I like the solid walls of your bond. I knew I loved you before I drank your blood. I know I love you now. I love that you wear my collar. I love that you obey me when we're in the bedroom... but I want more. I want to be your equal, I want you to share the same chains I have, because for us they are chains we CHOSE to wear." He turned until he was facing her, his arm across her shoulder, his other hand taking hers. His voice a deep soft thunder. "I offered to help George find a professional dominatrix if Roisin needed that. No matter how it sounded, I would never collar her or any other woman. You are the only one for me. I'm not even sure I'd have fucked her if it wasn't for the fact that I can't seem to say no if it's thrown at me. But even then, it wasn't romance, it wasn't love. Even when I beat you and torment your body, I do it because I love you, and I love to see the way you react to it. Maybe that's crazy." He kissed her forehead, his voice soft, still deep and dark like velvet and caverns. "You worry because the bond makes me your slave. I worry because you're not mine. I want us to be on equal footing. Joined in a mutual trap and walking together in our bond." |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 01:45 Post #7 |
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She listened, she truly listened to every word as he spoke, keeping his gaze with her own and only allowing her eyes to close when he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I am yours..." the blonde said softly, guiding the hand holding hers, to her throat as she lifted her chin to look up at him again. "I was yours from the moment you accepted the key... accepted me" she would gently untangle her fingers from his so she could close his hand around her throat in a light but warm grip. Heh... she'd miss that warmth. "I'm sorry..." she frowned slightly. "I should've know... should've realized. It was just that the way you said I..." managed a weak smile. "I am jealous you know? I'm not bonded to you but I feel the tug when there's something I want to be mine, and only mine... Even if it's petty, even if it's shallow... I'd say I'm just human, but, well, I'm not" she chuckled briefly before falling silent again. "Forgive me?" Lucy frowned again, the effects of a horrible conscience seeping into her expression. "I'm yours... I only yours" she had promised him that and kept that promise. "I trust you" and should've never doubted him. Ever. |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 01:58 Post #8 |
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-double posted-
Edited by Lucy Fehrer, Monday, 10. February 2014, 01:58.
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 02:00 Post #9 |
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"We're both damned fools at times Lucy. Being immortal doesn't change that. But we've got all the time to learn we could want." He kissed her softly. "There's nothing to forgive my love. I promise. I love you for everything that you are." He regarded her with frost-blue eyes and smiled, grinning wide beneath his beard. He'd taken the time to trim his hair to just jaw length, shaved his neck clean and clear of hair, shaved his groin too, but that was a personal preference. Didn't care for hair in his mouth and couldn't imagine the woman who wanted it. His beard was well groomed and trimmed neat. "I want to be only yours to the best of my ability. Perhaps... if we get lucky. I'll have more control over things once I've come through the other side. Sometimes things can change for the better." |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 02:08 Post #10 |
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She made a small sound as if out of relief when he kissed her, her hand finding his cheek and resting there as she watched him, took in the little details. All the little things that most would probably never think about, but which she saw and memorized every single time she looked at him. "I love you, just as you are, just for you. I wouldn't ask you to change in any way, not for me" the blonde Saud before exhaling, letting her hand drift from his cheek to trace along the arm of which hand was resting around her throat. "When you feel ready for it... Let me know... And I'll bring you over" Though she would do no such thing until she was sure he was ready. |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 02:20 Post #11 |
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"Well, the buildings are dealt with. The security measures are welded into place. The next door is ready for my equipment to get moved over. The downstairs has finally been emptied of Sawyer's business so I can arrange it as an emergency bunker if need be. The paperwork is all taken care of. The people around here are used to me living mostly at night. I'm probably ready when you are love." His voice was soft and he reached up to stroke her hair gently. His voice deep but warm. "Unless you think I need a haircut or something?" He grinned to try and get her to smile, hoping to cut through the anxiety she was clearly feeling. His back was done in HER ink. It was the last design he wanted to touch his skin, her needle, forever. He had considered the dragon his own personal sign of rebirth, and just like he'd wanted her hand to put it there, he wanted her hand to bring him over into the new world. |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 02:46 Post #12 |
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The low chuckle was warm, as were the eyes that stayed locked on him, even if the nervousness was still there. "You sure? No one you want to talk to? Nothing you want to do? Heh... nothing you want to eat or enjoy one more time before you're turned?" she had asked him to watch the sunrise and sunset just in case, had cooked for him with the thought in mind that he might not wish to wait. But she asked anyway. "There will be no going back, no changing things after this... It's a one way ticket... And you will die..." that was the truth of it, he would be killed and brought back. With all that entailed. "And I will be the one killing you..." |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 02:52 Post #13 |
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"Cancer is killing me. Time, is killing me. YOU are giving me immortality and metamorphosis. Yes, I may come out differently, hopefully not to much so. But you are merely giving me the change I seek to continue being by your side." He kissed her softly and smiled. Regarding her with frost-blue eyes. "I know that a vampire can raise a corpse, if the body is still warm. If you need me too, I can arrange the draining myself with an alarm so you can come down. I don't want you to feel guilt over this when it means we'll get to be together forever." He was serious. He knew more than enough about needles, vacuum generators and such to whip up a machine to drain every drop out of his body if he needed too. Nothing so crude as slitting his wrists. If Lucy couldn't bear to drain his blood herself, he could take that burden off her. Even if he wanted to feel like she was giving his blood, made magic, back to him when he was reborn. |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 12:48 Post #14 |
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"No! No... No you'll do no such thing" she frowned, her her hand clasping his wrist. "I won't let you die like that" that she dreaded killing him didn't mean she would stand by and watch him do it himself. Dying was... horrifyingly scary. There was no way in Hell she would let him go through that, by his own hand, alone. "I love you, and I will be with you every step of the way. The last thing you'll see before you die... And the first thing you'll see when you wake up" the grip of his wrist loosened as she kissed him again, gentle lips briefly touching his before looking up into frost-blue eyes, seeking the truth of his desire to be changed and nodding quietly as she saw it. Stubborn... He was going to be a handful, thinks my his job was to protect her. " You just have to tell me when..." where, heh... Though honestly, precautions and logic be damned. Feelings, emotions still ran hot in a Brujah's blood, and an Embrace wasn't a clinical, logical thing. It was rebirth, it was emotions like nothing he'd ever felt before. She wasn't moving. She would stay where they were if he felt safe there, comfortable. |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 13:52 Post #15 |
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"Well... I imagine the normal body functions of death occur? Body fluids draining out or being expelled from the body, that sort of thing? If that's the case, we should do it somewhere easy to clean and secure to make sure I can't break out and harm anyone. I have no doubt you can teach me to hunt without killing, I've already watched you so it'll be a matter of reaching me to drain only so much at a time. But... the ghoul box i the basement might be the best choice. It has a shower built into the ceiling, a drain on the floor. The chains are strong enough to hold even if I've completely lost my mind, or at least... I think they are. Even like I am now I can't twitch them." He was very comforted by the fact that she wanted to be there with him. He much preferred it to be her than to do it clinically. He smiled at her, his voice soft and his frost-blue eyes regarding her with warmth. "I suppose it's not as romantic as doing it here... but well, I don't want our bed covered in muck and filth and I don't want you to associate it with my death if it bothers you. I'd rather do it somewhere you won't go unless there's an emergency." Because he was logical, and methodical, even when discussing his own death and rebirth as a monster. It would make some people uncomfortable for him to have existed before and after. But well, it was what he wanted. |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 17:18 Post #16 |
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"The Ghoul box is a prison, Toran..." she didn't want to chain him up and turn him there.. She didn't want that to be the start of his new existence. Hers had been rough, but even if aware of what was going to happen, the ghoul box still came across as worse in her mind. She thought about it for a moment before leaning in to kiss him with a whisper. "Take a shower with me? Trust me to stop you when you come out of it..." warm water, skin to skin, he'd be in her arms and he'd be safe. Well, as safe as someone about to die could be. "I'll shower you, clothe you, and you'll wake up here. And I'll be Sith you, and I will calm you" the Brujah promised. |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 17:25 Post #17 |
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"Alright love. I can do that." He smiled warmly at her. Wrapping her in his arms and hugging her tight. He trusted her. He just didn't want to give her any bad memories. But if that was how she wanted it, it worked for him. He scooped her up into his arms and carried her into the bathroom, kissing her forehead softly. "I know you're scared love, but I have faith in you. I have faith in US. We'll make it work. Because we actually do listen and talk about things, because we both give and take. We'll make it work out. I love you." He wondered if he was mad, insane. He should probably be scared right? A monster damned by all mythology was going to drain the blood from his body and leave him a pale corpse, then return him to life with her own blood. Mac believed his soul would be damned for all eternity. Maybe it would, since he was CHOOSING this. But he didn't think so. He was choosing love. He was choosing to spend as long as he could with the woman he loved, and to walk her path with her, side by side, as equals. If the gods considered that a sin. Fuck them. |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 17:42 Post #18 |
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Yes, scared. Scared out of her friggin' mind as she was about to do something she never thought she would do. And to someone she loved so much the idea of loosing him now was enough to make her unbeating heart ache. "I love you too" the blonde smiled up at him, soft lips seeking his in another kiss. And then another. Her warms around him even when he lowered her feet to the floor so that she might stand, causing her to remain on her toes so she could even out the height difference just a little, so she could keep kissing him time and time again. Soft sweet touches while her hands began shedding his clothes, layer by layer, until she could once more run her hands over his naked skin. Feel the warmth beneath her fingers. Fingers that by now had memorized the lines of his muscles, every little scar, every raised bump where the ink adorned his skin. She was slow, deliberate in every movement as she shed her own clothes wile making sure she was never too far to press a hand to his skin or find her lips with his as soon as another fabric of clothing had been cast aside. Jeans, top, underwear, all left on the floor as she would push him into the shower and turn on the water and guide him in under it. The Swede's eyes closed the entire time while she took in everything. The scent which she was now so used to waking up next to she had trouble finding peace without him next to her in bed when she slept. The taste of him on the tip of her tongue as it traced his lips. Not the sweetness of his blood but him, just him. And the warmth of his skin, a heated contrast even to the warm water pouring over them, always so warm. The beating of his heart, the feeling of his breath on her skin when she kissed him and cupped his cheek. She wanted to memorize all of it. Remember all of it. Because she would miss it The thought had her whimpering softly into the kiss, deepening it a little as he was pushed back against the wall. The smaller Brujah's body pressed to his, skin slick with water, pressed to his as she arched to feel him. To once more, just one last time, feel the surge of blood in his body as it reacted to her. Not out of conscious thought, but just instinct. Plain and simple. Would he still want her? She would love him regardless... "Mine..." the word was whispered as her lips left his, trailing along his jaw and down his throat and shoulder. Small nips of her teeth felt in between the licks of her tongue and brush of her lips. He trusted her. She begged that trust wasn't misplaced. "I love you, Toran" the last words he'd hear as a mortal, whispered against his throat with a breathy voice before the fangs of the Brujah sank into the soft flesh and bit down, hard. Her arms around him tightening a little, holding him to her while she began to feed and in turn used the strength of his blood to strength herself. He wanted this, Wanted to be like her. To be wit her. But she knew, that even though prepared, when life started to fade, the body often fought to stay alive. Though with the choice made, she wasn't about to let him go. Wasn't about to back out. The blood that flowed across her lips wasn't savoured as she usually did, but swallowed down with hunger as he would slowly find his life dwingdling away. |
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| Toran | Monday, 10. February 2014, 17:55 Post #19 |
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Bliss, soft warmth, love and ecstasy beyond most people's understanding. The physical aspects of the vampire's kiss roared through him as Lucy began what he had imagined for so long. Since he'd been told he was dying really. That gnawing desire to live forever, no matter what the cost. To NEVER die as his mother had, wasted and destroyed by her own body. So he held Lucy tight as she drank him. Even as he felt his body going numb, going cold as the blood began a chain of shock through his system. "I love you Toran" He clung to the words, his eyes closed, his arms holding her as his arms shook, his body trembled slowly. His willpower was fierce though, he held himself still. Held onto the bliss of her bite and the joy of his words. Shock numbed him further, his lips turned blue, his skin grew pale and finally, despite his best attempts to keep holding her, he began to go limp. His body failed, stuttered and his heart... stopped. It was foul, in the way of corpses... messy and dead weight and grotesque, but the shower washed it away. His head hung limp on his thick neck, his mouth slack, his arms hanging like huge lead weights. The last of his blood trickled away into her mouth as the pressure and flow simply failed... unable to sustain itself. |
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| Lucy Fehrer | Monday, 10. February 2014, 19:01 Post #20 |
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Her fingers had been digging into his back as she felt the changes start in his body, felt him tremble, grow weak and finally... Finally his breath left him, his heart stopped and with the last drop drained from his body, the Brujah pulled her fangs from his flesh and licked the wound closed with a whimper as about to cry. Oh God she wanted to cry. Instead, she held him close, pulled his head gently to rest on her shoulder while the water washed him clean. The warmth in his body slowly fading even though the head of the shower was trying to keep it there. He wouldn't go completely cold just yet.Bbut the warmth of his mortal vessel was gone. Forever and truly gone. Gently, the world moving before her eyes as if in slow motion, Lucy brought him from the shower and laid him down so she could dry him off before carrying him back to the bedroom where she would dress him and lay him on the bed before dressing herself. Her usually deft fingers not being all that cooperative as she struggled with a few of the buttons with the way she was shaking. Fuck... Oh fuck, she was really shaking. Finally able to get it done though, the Brujah drew a deep unneeded breath and slowly climbed onto the bed, leaning over Toran's form which, heh, if she didn't know better, almost looked like he was sleeping... "I love you so much, baby.." she brushed her fingers through his hair, bracing herself for what she knew would happen once he awoke. That sudden rush of hunger that all newly Embraced were born with. Theneed to feed. She moved to straddle him, to tuck her legs around him as tightly as she could, pinning his arms as best she could against his sides. Which, given the size difference, probably looked ridicules. The smaller Brujah meaning to hold him down once he awoke... "Forgive me...." Lucy's voice trembled, her fangs biting into her wrist and opening a would that would allow her to bleed as it was brought to his lips. "Oh, God, please forgive me..." she repeated as she leaned over him, her wrist to his lips, her legs wrapped around his body and her free arm resting over his forehead to try and keep his head down as the crimson blood started flowing past his lips. |
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3:14 PM Jul 11