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| Gangrel Lessons -- Robyne for Protean 3; More "Zen Moments" with Robyne | |
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| Topic Started: Sunday, 28. August 2016, 21:30 (183 Views) | |
| Robyne | Sunday, 28. August 2016, 21:30 Post #1 |
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-- Hound --
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Somewhere in Beddington Park Robyne's Favorite Tree Stump 12:00 AM She survived the Blood Hunt... she survived the Grand Opening of Concord House... she survived Swan Lake at the community theater. She reduced the population of rapists and pedophiles and drug dealers on a regular basis and was still among the walking and talking. Now she could go back to focusing on her understanding of her Disciplines. Now she could finally clear her mind of 90% of her distractions and go back to where she left off-- trying to learn how to Meld with the Earth. The process had been a long and hard one for most of this past year. She had tried many things and experimented with all sorts of theories and ideas... nothing seemed to work. She tried yoga to clear her mind and align her chakras. That didn't do much. She tried creative movement and dance to try and connect with her inner female soul and spent a lot of money on a dance instructor, lots and lots of dance tights, and in the end, she was lucky she could hula-hoop or put her hands in the air and wave them like she just didn't care. She tried lying on a bed of grass. She tried digging a trench and burying herself in the dirt and mud. She tried different soils... sand, dirt, mud... nothing. She tried melding in snow... melding in spring mud... every season. She tried to meld with the earth under a full moon, a half-moon, a new moon... a smiley crescent moon.... She used a shovel... she used her claws.... She barked at the earth... she begged and pleaded with the earth... she cried at the earth... and she stomped on the earth. What was missing? She tried with a full tank of blood in her body... she tried melding with some Hunger.... Nothing. It was like the earth hated and rejected her. So she had the theory that perhaps her blood was too thin. Maybe she wasn't a full-blooded Gangrel? Maybe she needed to be a hundred years old? Maybe she needed to be as old as a Methuselah in order to have cool powers like melding with the earth and shape-shifting. What was Leslie's secret? How was it that she could shape-shift and do all that cool stuff? Robyne set her battery powered Coleman camping lantern on her favorite stump and proceeded to stare at the ground beneath her bare feet. "Okay earth. You and me are going to have a chat. I need to meld with you so that when I roam and prowl, you can suck me up when I need to hide and sleep in an emergency. You dig?" |
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| Robyne | Friday, 2. September 2016, 22:34 Post #2 |
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Melding with the earth would have seriously come in handy during the Blood Hunt, when they were looking for shelter. Could have come in handy when she was trying to sneak up on that pesky Ravnos, Mr. Svoboda. Melding with the earth will also come in handy during her long trips and wonderings. Traveling to all the summer music festivals and attending her old brood's gatherings and meetings would be a whole lot easier if she could just meld with the earth instead of trying to arrange transportation and shelter every night. "Alright earth. What gives? How come you don't like me?" Robyne asked, glumly looking down at the clear patch of dirt beneath her feet. "I don't get it. I plant veggies... I feed the birds and critters... I pick up litter... I tread softly... I protect kids... what have I done to hurt ya?" Obviously no reply. "I don't even own a car so I can't be ruining the atmosphere or making much of a carbon footprint. I'm technically dead so I don't eat, breathe, exhale, or consume many natural resources... so how come I can't meld with you?" Robyne closed her eyes and kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes and planted her feet on bare, dark, rich soil. It was cool against her feet.... She had done this a million times before. Of course not often with the intent to sink into the earth completely and try and become one with it. Robyne sits very still and simply tries to focus on the solid planting of her feet upon the ground. In yoga, she is assuming a sitting Mountain Pose. Very rigid and firm and supposedly very stable. From her feet to her hips, she has formed a perfect, solid 90-degree angle. Everything square and aligned. She is supposed to feel energy crawling up from her feet to her shins and from her shins to her knees and from her knees up to her thighs and so on all the way up to the crown of her head. Of course it probably makes a huge difference that her yoga instructor was under the assumption she was a living, breathing person. Yoga energy might not flow through a walking dead vampire. Still, this is where Robyne is at mentally and physically... drawing from what little she knows and what she thinks has the best chance of working-- yoga. She fans out her fingers and dips her chin a little. Eyes still closed. Trying to visualize and sense what it would be like to sink into the earth and be consumed by it and enveloped in it. And it actually conjures a scary thought and frightening image... to be smothered... to be buried forever... to be consumed and trapped in the earth, unable to crawl or claw out. Buried forever under bedrock and cold, frozen earth for eternity.... Robyne feels cold and shivers and before she allows the thoughts and images to really solidify and take her someplace, she blinks her eyes open and looks all around. For a second there, she wondered... worried that maybe she would never be ready for this melding stuff. Perhaps she has been wishing for something she might actually regret. Before, she took it for granted that she could zip in and zip out of the earth. She assumed that because she was Gangrel, she just might pass in and out of the earth with ease.... But maybe that won't be so at all. Considering how hard it has been for her to meld at this point, perhaps there is some unseen force actually trying to warn her away from trying? Robyne looks down at her bare feet. A worm is squirming and crawling over her toes. Edited by Robyne, Friday, 2. September 2016, 22:35.
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| Robyne | Friday, 9. September 2016, 21:10 Post #3 |
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-- Hound --
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Stillness... emptiness.... Solid and silent. That's where she is at now, standing beside her favorite tree stump in Beddington Park. Whatever happens, happens. What could happen, might happen. What will happen, will happen. She tries to be open to possibilities and open to her surroundings. She tries to be receptive to the sounds of nature all around her-- the noisy crickets and cicadas... the rustling of leaves as the trees sway to the occasional breezes. She tries to feel the rhythm of the earth and her surroundings. She tries to sense the movements of nature. Sounds weird but that is her goal tonight. What makes the trees sway? The breezes blowing through the branches and limbs. What makes the critters scamper about on the fallen leaves and through the brush? Their search for food and shelter. What makes the streams and brooks babble and bubble and churn? The flow of water cascading downhill over rocks and pebbles? And as the earth is solid beneath her feet, she remains solid as a statue, ears perked to the sounds of nature and mind open to the rhythms and patterns. And inside, she is open to the feelings her environment provokes and empowers. Edited by Robyne, Friday, 23. September 2016, 02:45.
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| Robyne | Friday, 23. September 2016, 03:04 Post #4 |
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-- Hound --
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What does the Earth say, when one is most silent and most still? What song does Nature sing when Man refrains from adding their noise and their shouting and their crying and their talking and yammering? How does the world move when Man isn't moving it to his whims, cares, needs, or wants? Robyne continues to be silent and still. She wants to know, she wants to listen and not just hear. She wants to be moved without moving. The night birds chirp. The insects buzz, chirp, and whizz about. The trees rustle in the wind. The breezes whisper through the leaves. The water trickles over the rocks and boulders along the winding brook. The nocturnal critters scamper through the brush and across the dead leaves and thick grasses in search of food or shelter. Quench me, for I am thirsty. Let it rain so I may drink. Sweep across and cool me with your breezes for the Sun was strong and still I burn. Bestow the bounty in your boughs for there are hungry to feed. Robyne has closed her eyes. She feels something... or perhaps she hears it instead, in her mind, in her thoughts. A voice-feeling? If such a thing exists. Hush. Let's not think what it is. Let's simply listen-feel. Give the weary their eternal rest. Give the restless their peace. Light the path for the night wanderer. Robyne feels something inside her sink... or be pulled... drawn downward. It is a slight sensation at first but then it feels like a fist wrapped around the core of her guts, grasping something hard and firm in her torso... and sharply it pulls-- for a second. And she jerks and flinches and her eyes blink and open. "The hell was that?!" And the feeling passes. The song-feeling passes by. |
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| Robyne | Saturday, 8. October 2016, 03:31 Post #5 |
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She comes to a still pond encircled by woods-- trees showing hints of changing color. The colors are not so vivid or clear at night but under a clear, cloudless sky, under bright moonlight, some hints of color-- hints of approaching autumn do appear. The pond before her is like a perfect mirror, reflecting the moon and starry sky. Robyne gazes over it and leans over as she walks to the edge of the pond. "Mirror, mirror... (on the wall)... who's the fairest one of all?" The reflection is dark. The mirror becomes an inward mirror. A mirror reflecting her soul... but first, it has to reflect the surface. The eyes of a fox, the fangs of a monster, the claws of a beast.... The Beast... under the surface it waits... no... it leans in and shows itself. Face-to-face. The mirror reflects the Beast to Robyne and Robyne is reflected to the Beast... eye to eye.... It's not a mirror but a window... Robyne is sent reeling back and she finds herself closing her eyes and stumbling away.... Through the looking glass, through the lens dark, she sees beyond her surfaces and faces to stare eye to eye, face-to-face with her Beast. The Beast is outside her and she is outside her Beast. They have turned towards each other. "I Hunger and you shall feed me." the Beast declares. "I want to learn how to bury you... put you to rest... make you sleep," Robyne replies. "You can't. If I sleep, you starve. If you starve, you die," the Beast taunts back. "If I starve, you starve. If I sleep, you sleep... and if I die, you will die with me," Robyne retorts. "You can't kill me or silence me. I am you," the Beast returns. "And you are me... but only a side of me. Only one side of the mirror image. You are dark and I am light... you Hunger... I feed... but when I say I am going to bury you... I mean it." "Try me," the Beast taunts. "No... you try me," Robyne replies. "You need me. If you break me, you break yourself. You need me. You cannot feed yourself. You need my claws, you need my fangs, you need me to hunt." "You need my strength," the Beast replies. "Even your strength has limits... you need rest too. You must sleep as I sleep. I will bury you," Robyne states firmly. |
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| Robyne | Monday, 17. October 2016, 21:24 Post #6 |
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-- Hound --
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Some nights later... Beddington Park Favorite tree stump A beautiful full moon... a gentle breeze blowing through her wild hair... the temperature was surprisingly mild.... A calm night. A god night for thinking and reflecting and putting thoughts to paper after a very difficult few nights and weeks. There were some plusses but there were a couple of negatives as well that weighed on her mind. Coming out here by herself would help clear the cobwebs and shoo away the dark feelings inside. If only she could sink into the Earth and just chill and sleep and rejuvenate and let the Earth's rhythms wash through her. The only time the Beast was going to ease up and give her a break was while feeding and hunting... which almost seemed like a constant, on-going urge. Even when bloated on the blood of some sick monster pedophile or drunk scumbag who just beat up his wife and kids... the Beast demanded more. Always more. As she rubbed her furry forearms, she was reminded of how the Beast held her and gripped her and pulled her into the Darkness and blood hungry Frenzy. The Beast marked her with what felt like furry shackles. The ears and eyes were useful... the furry forearms? Just another embarrassing thing about herself she needed to cover up and hide. If she could just somehow learn to Meld with the Earth, perhaps she could settle the Beast down for a time and cool the urges some. Of course if she could do that, then she could also have an easier time expanding the territory of her patrols and find quick havens in any park or cemetery or polo grounds or cricket field she could find. Now that she helped represent the long arm of the Sherriff, she needed to expand her reach. Learning how to Meld with the Earth would certainly help in that regard, wouldn't it? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Diary, I am finally beginning to get some help with my investigations. But I am also pissing off the Grand Harpy. It feels like a good ol' fashioned schoolyard brawl of words and threats. We can't respect each other it seems and it looks like she is from Venus and I am from... well may as well be Neptune or Pluto. I doubt I will ever win back her respect and I doubt I will feel convinced she is on anyone's side but her own. Ah well. I will try and summon up the courage to apologize to her. It's the right thing to do and I should take the moral high ground. On the subject of ground... I have been trying for months-- maybe almost a year now-- trying to commune with the Earth. I have tried yoga, meditation, creative dance, creative movement, incense and aroma therapy, digging in the dirt, going barefoot... just about everything and I am getting frustrated with the results. It seems the closet I have come to any sort of sinking or centering feeling with the Earth has come from a kind of focus I can barely achieve without feeling something like a deep feeling of loneliness, sadness, depression, and anger or self-loathing. The inner demon inside me seems to be fighting against me. I don't know what to do. If I let the inner demon have total control over me, I don't think I will survive or be the same person after. I am afraid... |
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| Robyne | Tuesday, 25. October 2016, 01:27 Post #7 |
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Another night... Beddington Park Favorite Tree Stump It was cool out again... getting cooler each night. This coming winter was probably going to be brutal and nasty, she thought. But she wasn't wishing for winter to hurry along just yet. She liked Autumn. Best time of the year. Her favorite season. The leaves change color, the temperatures were not usually too hot or too cold... the air smelled crisp... and speaking of crisp... Apple Crisp... Cinnamon Buns... Hot Chocolate... Apple Pie... Pumpkin Spice... All the baked goody smells and aromas... oh how she loved them and missed the flavors of real homemade goodies. Focus. She didn't come out here to fantasize about food and days gone by and Halloween and Thanksgiving. She came out here to try and Meld with the Earth! Her soul and spirit and Beast needed to become one and needed to get into the belly of the Earth to settle and become one rhythm and one pulse and one... Oneness. Sitting cross-legged, Lotus style, Robyne closes her eyes and begins to meditate. She is in search of her inner pulse and rhythm and for someone who was technically dead... the only things pulsing or "beating" were her inner Hunger and the voice of her Beast... and the throb of her inner voice. Mmmm.... calm.... sleepy... drowsy... everything feeling heavy... but centered and steady and stable. Like an anchor. Like a rock.... Sink down... settle down... feel the Earth around me... through me... in me.... |
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| Robyne | Saturday, 5. November 2016, 17:52 Post #8 |
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-- Hound --
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Something is happening. Her body feels heavy... very heavy. She is still but something from inside is being pulled and drawn towards the center of the Earth. It is not gravity pulling her... it is something else. She doesn't know what it is, exactly... her mind isn't there. Her mind is with her Beast, trying to wrap around the Beast, to calm it, still it, smother it. But as she tries to smother her Beast and still it, the Earth seems to be trying to still them both. The Earth is trying to settle that struggle between Robyne and her Beast. Robyne wants the Earth on her side. Robyne wants to feel the comfort of the Earth around her, silencing the menace and rage and Hunger inside her. She has felt the rhythms of the Earth but she has not been able to sync with it and mesh or blend with it. But the Earth seems to know how... the Earth seems to know why and when.... Robyne must reach out to the Earth and embrace the Earth's spirit and essence... the core of Nature itself. She must let go of her Beast and embrace Nature. Nature will pull her in to the Earth. Nature will embrace her and soothe her Beast. She must trust and have faith in Nature. Then, and only then can she Meld with the Earth. |
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1:48 AM Jul 11