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To Please a Princess; The Mad Scientist
Topic Started: Jan 19 2014, 11:27 PM (54 Views)
Detective Smith
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[Afrit/Soyuz joint quest]

Deep in the darkest, most foul pits of Hell, the Scrapyard spanned for miles. Legend held that a crazed inventor hell bent on escape discarded his failed creations in the chasms. Hollow-eyed android skulls looked out across the vast boneyard of mechanical mountains, heaps of robot wreckage piled into a scrap yard of synthetic skeletons. The ghosts of automatons past watched with disinterest as two figures trudged through the desolation, dislodging spare parts and starting small avalanches of computational cadavers.

“You know all about this stuff, don’t you Soyuz?” A hulking red man fiddled with a flashlight. The weak beam barely penetrated the darkness.

“Yeah, yeah,” the lean Kaizoku-Jin kicked over another torso. “Just look for nice things. Jewelry and rings. People always toss away nice things.”

Afrit plucked a rusted bolt from an ancient cyborg, and slid it onto his ring finger. He spread out his fingers and forced his hand in Soyuz’s face. “See, this looks handsome, can we go now?”

“I cannot give a rusted bolt to a princess!” Zizi gaped in horror. “She is too beautiful for such filthy junk! She needs diamonds, and gold, and platinum. The good stuff is probably further in, down in that very threatening cave full of cyborg corpses. Come on.”

Soyuz grabbed Afrit’s hand and pulled him down the pile of android parts, expertly riding a chestplate down. He briefly stopped to examine a watch sticking out on one of the wired wrists. He brushed it off on his track jacked and tucked it into his pocket before continuing their wild descent into the darkness.

Corrosive air rushed by the two men as they bounced and skidded down the rusted heap. Afrit began to look more green than red, covering his mouth. “Zizi” Afrit lurched forward, wrapping his hands around his stomach. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Just a moment more,” Soyuz waved back, increasing their speed.

It all happened at once.

Soyuz lost control of their rapid route.

Afrit lost control of his stomach.

The ground beneath rippled, and a horrifying monster made of mechanical and pulsating organic parts burst up.

After a few terrifying and confusing moments, the two men found themselves safely at their destination. They picked themselves up and, without speaking or making eye contact, continued walking into the caves. The abomination, soaked and humiliated, let out a small whimper and buried itself beneath the rubble once more.

- - -

If the caves were supposed to hold some wonder, it had not revealed itself yet. A flickering energy capacitor gripped by Afrit shed light on the cramped surroundings. More android skeletons haunted the mechanical tomb.

“I don’t understand. Why don’t you just buy a ring?” Afrit complained loudly. Entombed Androids that had not been activated in centuries stared at the two trespassers, eyes devoid of emotion. “I’ve seen the money you and that Kaizoku-clan of your pulls down.” Afrit stopped and shook his hands in frustration. “You live on lava-front property!

“Yeah, yeah,” Soyuz flipped through the piles of android parts. “Anyone can buy a ring. General Ragnor could buy a ring. But can just anyone find a beautiful ring, one that cannot be bought in a cheap store? No. That is why we are going to find a ring.”

He disconnected a head from a body and shook out the insides, scattering wires and fake neurons everywhere. Some of the parts looked like recycled jewelry, but they were too burnt to be worth anything. Zizi still polished every piece, examining every damaged metal coil, and tucked some away for later.

Pile after pile of garbage was gone through in this manner. Soyuz was meticulous. No semi-valuable piece of crap was tossed aside, no dessicated android body left unturned. Copper wire, repurposed earrings and bracelets, hunks of molten metal, broken precious stones, and weirdly glowing whirligigs all found their ways into his pockets, but nothing was good enough for a princess.

187 earrings, 56 bracelets, 94 necklaces, 5 watches, and 346 rings later, Soyuz was no closer to finding the perfect engagement ring.

“Fah!” he threw yet another sparkling ring into the abyss. “At this rate I should just buy a ring! The biggest junkyard in Hell, and not a single thing to show for it.”

The large cavern they had ended up in must have held thousands of robotic corpses, and Afrit had no interest in finding any ring. Soyuz’s standards were sky high, and the dull light that leaked from the power capacitor was a poor torch.

While Soyuz was engrossed in his search, Afrit had found some solace in stacking the robotic components into something that resembled a fully functional cyborg. A spare hand there, a left leg here. Some parts were too big and others too small. It was a fine eye and a selective hand that would assemble this . Every so often Afrit would fish a shiny component or rusty bolt out of the scavenged parts, and offer them to Soyuz.

“Is this good?” Afrit said, holding out a rusted washer. Soyuz just grumbled, and continued digging. Afrit held up another dirty bolt. “How about this?” Tarnished wire. “This looks like a ring if you bend it and squint. Are we done yet?” A greasy chain. “What about a necklace? Princesses like those, too.” Another bolt. “Just give her something round!”

What seemed like hours had passed, and Afrit was very close to completing his mock cyborg. The arms were perfectly proportioned, the torso long and lean. Each leg was even in length, and he had even found the proper left and right feet. The last touch was a well preserved suit-jacket that wrapped snugly around his new companion.

The lifeless android stared back at Afrit, looking for all the world like Autopilot.

Afrit smashed the whole thing apart, sending pieces scattering across the cave. Arms flopped uselessly into the debris as the torso pieces slowly lost their positions and fell. The suit jacket crumpled to the ground as fingers rolled away. Afrit suppressed his rage and grabbed the first circular thing he found, throwing it at Soyuz.

“Here’s a ring! Now let’s go!” he yelled.

Soyuz fumbled to catch the ring as it bounced off his head. He raised an eyebrow at the fuming Djinn before looking down at his catch.

“Afrit this...this is beautiful,” he breathed.

And it was. It truly was. Glistening diamonds were set around blood gems, encased in a gorgeous white gold band. The small black opals that danced along the band would appeal the darkest hearts. Somehow, this ring, this ring fit for the most beautiful Princess Mariona, had fallen into this trash heap and Afrit had found it.

“A ring for my beloved bride-to-be,” Soyuz announced, putting it in a small box. Not for one second did he doubt that Princess Mariona would turn down his proposal. With a ring like this? And a house on lavafront property? Not a chance.

“About time,” Afrit grumbled.

- - -

General Ragnor had finally convinced the beautiful Princess Mariona to go on a date with him. For once, there would be no distractions. No underlings, no paperwork, and best of all, no Hexak. It would just the two of them in Hell’s best restaurant, Hell’s Diner. The food wasn’t what it had been before, but it was still spectacular. Good food and good company. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

“More wine, Princess?” General Ragnor offered. He had ordered the finest bottle of the finest wine for this very fine occasion. Just as he was pouring another glass, the door slammed open and he poured the wine on the tablecloth. The red stain was the first thing to mar the night.

“Princess! Light of my life, fire of my heart, I beg of you!” A filthy Kaizoku-Jin man in tracksuit, who General Ragnor nor Mariona had ever seen before in their lives, swooped to the table. Right then and there he got down on one knee before the princess and produced the ring Hexak had stolen from General Ragnor years ago. “Free me from my wretched misery! Marry me!”

Ragnor stood up. “You’re the one who stole my beach house!”

“Beach house?” the princess mused.

“Lavafront property,” Soyuz said with a sly wink.

The marriage was settled then and there. General Ragnor was left alone with his wine and the feeling that somehow, somewhere, Hexak had been responsible for this.



[1407/1400 words, 2 days]
Edited by Detective Smith, Jan 19 2014, 11:28 PM.
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Detective Smith
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[500 EXP/200 zenni]
[Reward: Large storage capsule/100 zenni]
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