| Kalkavek Has a Horrible Idea; Legends - Broly | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 7 2014, 12:34 PM (115 Views) | |
| Kalkavek | Jan 7 2014, 12:34 PM Post #1 |
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Actual World Ender
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Kalkavek’s soul took several days to heal, but when it did he felt refreshed and extravagantly satisfied. The technique he copied from Cell was definitely a keeper, and being blown up fixed the kink in his neck. Things were finally beginning to look up! A short glance at his surroundings revealed a few Saiyans, Konatsians, Vanitians, and Humans who were frozen in their tracks, apparently afraid or surprised by Kalkavek’s sudden appearance. The Bio-Android grinned, having finally garnered the respect he deserved. “Well well well, it looks like my reputation around here is finally spreading. I guess you guys must have heard about how I wiped the floor at the Cell Games, huh? That’s right boys, you’re looking at the number one stunner, right here.” The men and women continued to look horrified, even more so, as Kal moved about and spoke. “Don’t worry, men. I have no need to harm you today, I’m actually feeling pretty damn good right now, so you’ll all be spared. Ladies, you can follow me to the nearest mansion and compete for my attention.” He pointed at the most androgynous Konatsian. “Except you.” The crowd finally mustered the courage to pull a single finger to their mouths and “shh” him. This wasn’t the reaction Kal was expecting, as he was under the impression that this was his slice of Hell and these people were now his subjects. Something seemed...wrong. “Something seems...wrong.” One of the Saiyan women nodded, pointing just behind the Bio-Android. Kal’s eyebrows adopted a sad expression, like someone in a horror movie who just acknowledged that he was going to die. He turned around slowly and saw a man’s chest slowly moving from breath. What made this particular chest stick out was the fact that it was the size of Kalkavek while the man was lying down. The legendary Super Saiyan was slumbering, and Kal had almost woken him up. Orange energy surrounded Kal as he slowly hovered away from the body, eyes wide and head shaking back and forth. Nope nope nope nope nope. A better surveying of his surroundings revealed that the entire landscape had been decimated for miles, and 2,000 feet away rested a midget Majin, the original Buu. Once Kal had gotten enough distance away from the immense muscle mass, he leaned his ear to one of the Saiyan women and whispered “How long have they been out?” The woman shook, still unsure if Kal’s ki use had woken one of the two titans. “Four minutes.” She finally whispered back. Everyone else in the area seemed too stunned to move, and their legs were locked in place. Kal slowly lifted each of them, one by one, with his mind and dragged them to safety. More specifically, he dragged them to HIS safety. No good could come from them staying near a sleeping Broly. After twenty minutes of dragging them all one by one, and a few of them finally sacking up, the collective was finally gathered one mile away from the two slumbering titans, collected into an abandoned haunted house. Aside from the occasional paranormal sexual harassment, the haunted house wasn’t that bad. The group sat down around a long table in the kitchen. The outsider, Kalkavek, was instead raiding the fridge and finding an odd assortment of human body parts and diet beer. “So.” He said while breaking the cap off a bottle, which broke just enough to leave some glass shards in the liquid. “What the Hell were those guys, and what happened before I got here?” A few of them shuttered, but one Konatsian spoke up. “Those two monsters are Broly and Majin Buu. The first. The two of them battle each other to a standstill every couple of years, but most of the fight normally leaves any of us alone; they like breaking things so they search into the infinite chasms or fire seas.” Another Konatsian stood and spoke. “They returned twelve hours ago and began destroying the entire outlying area with their fight. It was only just a few minutes ago that they pushed their all into attacks and fell unconscious.” Kal chugged the beer and pushed the broken glass out of his system. “So if these two mythic badasses show up and start beating each other in an eternal wank-off, why isn’t there some sort of army built up to put them down when this stuff happens?” The room noticeably chilled and three of the Vanitians began to cry. The Saiyan woman from earlier spoke up. “There WAS an army. We’re all that’s left.” “How many did you bring?” “Thousands.” The Bio-Android tossed the beer into the trash, swishing a ghost on the way by. “Well cheer up, it’s not like they’re dead forever. Besides, they’re down and out; how long does that normally last? A few years?” “Hours.” The Bio-Android laughed, much to the shock of everyone around. “And what’s so funny?” Shouted the Saiyan girl, her tail straightening in the air and twitching violently. “Well,” said the scarred man, “I’m beginning to think maybe Hell is only so bad because of the people in it.” He shrugged. “What can you do, though? So one of those two will kill us and we’ll come back somewhere else, what’s the big deal?” A Human man shook his head as if he were speaking to a naive child. “Ya don’t get it, stranger.” He tipped his cowboy hat towards Kal, kicking his boots up onto the table, “When ya die down here, ya don’t get to just jump back on in. It’s all about impact; the harder the hit, the longer yer down.” “Makes sense.” Kal nodded, he didn’t see what the point was. Cell killed him and he came back several days later. “Well if one of these two takes yer sorry hide down, you won’t be back for years.” The Bio-Android’s eyes widened. Years was quite a long time to stay dead, he wouldn’t even know where the Kashvar were anymore by the time he broke out. “Well then what’s the plan? We have to have a way to stop them.” “Like Hell we do!” Said the Saiyan girl. “We just have to get out of here before either of them wakes up.” Kal pointed at the window. “No, I mean we HAVE to find a way to stop them.” Everyone else turned their heads to see Broly in the distance, rising into the sky, glowing green, and looking extraordinarily pissed. What’s worse was that Kid Buu was still on the ground. What’s worse was that Broly was heading towards them. "Fuuuuuuuuuuck!” The entire group shouted in beautiful chorus, akin in tone and octave to an ordinary family attempting to collectively coordinate a birthday song. Kal pulled the window blinds down, hiding the fact that they’d all be double dead in a few seconds. “Everyone that can hide your power level, do so and get around the sides of the house. Your job is to go wake up the pink kid so he can lay some smack down. Anyone who can’t, get into the basement. I’ll distract this giant bastard and buy us some time.” The few who could do so, did so. A couple of the members were frozen with fear, but that wasn’t the biggest issue on Kal’s mind. The Bio-Android had few precious seconds to act before Broly would tear down the house and pop them all like blood balloons. Thinking quickly, he jumped through the roof and shot a barrage of energy at where he could sense Broly to be. When the smoke cleared, all that was left of Broly was….a pissed off Broly. “Aw nuts.” Broly charged at the doomed attacker, but something got in the way...something silver, and particularly harmless. Broly stared at it intently, mesmerized momentarily. “I’ve never seen a Super Saiyan Oozaru!” Came the voice of the Saiyan girl. Kal looked down to see her standing at the side of the haunted house with one arm covering her eyes. “That might give you a chance!” “Marry me!” Kal shouted back. A disturbing array of grunts and screams interrupted the moment...Broly was growing. |
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3:27 AM Jul 11