| Tenji Tadameko; The Green Terror of the Astral Confederacy | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 18 2013, 09:51 PM (190 Views) | |
| Valhalla | Aug 18 2013, 09:51 PM Post #1 |
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Tech Moderator
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Name: Tenji Tadameko Alias: The Green Terror, Subject 8 Birthday: July, 22nd Age: 23 Height: 6'0" Weight: 225 lbs Genetic Type: Cyber-Newtype Faction: Astral Confederacy Grand Duchy Appearance ![]() Personality: Tenji is a living embodiment of the tragedy of war. Tenji has strong views on the spacenoid cause, he has no choice after all. Tenji takes most choirs and tasks upon himself, rarely relies on support, if given. Thus, Tenji is more like a lone wolf then a team player. He is in incredible physical condition, in part due to himself and in part to the Cyber Newtype program. Tenji is slow to warm up to people, if ever. Stoic, reserved, calculating, and often times cold. His battle prowess is almost unmatched. When the code-word is spoken, Tenji becomes almost like a berserker, attacking friends, foes, even civilians. Tenji will disregard all life, even his own safety just to down an enemy, once the code-word is spoken. Tenji truly is a "Green Terror" in his mobile suit, and even off the battlefield. Tenji enjoys music as well as playing it, he's even taken up the electric guitar in the past. He finds himself playing the instrument when he has time and in someway to soothe the empty feeling of being seperated from his family. Biography: Born twenty-three years ago. Tenji was groomed for the military lifestyle The boy was enrolled in the "Early Soldier." program. By the time the boy could study in high school, he had a taste of his life to be. Tenji was enrolled in a military academy, where life was brutal for him. His overweight body was constantly the subject for torment by the other cadets. However, Tenji used this as a stepping stone to push himself, to be a faster, stronger, better person. Tenji would constantly work out, pushing himself to his current body's limits and then some. However where his physical achievements were accelerating, his mental ones were not. Tenji was not the smartest of teens, but he was one hell of a strong one. His time in the academy had shed his obesity, but he soon would fail his academic classes. This resulted in Tenji having to take an equivalency exam and he passed by the skin of his teeth. After graduating from the academy using the equivalency program. Tenji's poor grades, but excellent physical condition made him a prime candidate for the Astral Confederacy's Cyber Newtype program. He was taken to a training facility, where his new designation Subject Eight was assigned. Told they if he did not cooperate, his parents would be killed and he would never see them again. Tenji received hellish torture, broken, pushed past his physical and mental limitations. Tenji was reworked from the ground up, learning from scratch. Subject Eight was placed in combat scenarios of different types. Time and time again. Until the 'Newtype" in him reacted, but with these new found abilities came the price of forfeiting most of his capacity to feel emotion. But, when he did, it was like a torrent of emotional rage, despair and agony. To this day Tenji does not even know the names of his father and mother, or if these were false memories. Despite the effects of the occassional bouts of Synapse Syndrome, the boy fought, and killed people without thought or remorse. Tenji eventually became a killing machine.The people of the Cyber Newtype program still wanting his growing potential to increase.The Cyber Newtype Program set up a release in the form of a code-word "Torment". The word was only given to a few, but Tenji remains to this day an efficient soldier. As the Confederacy, moved it's fleet for an Invasion of Earth, Tenji is assigned a high performance ground mobile suit for the upcoming operation.. Tenji is re-given his original name as a reward for his service, and is stationed at A Bou A Qu, until the Earth Invasion commences. Edited by Valhalla, Aug 29 2013, 04:41 AM.
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| RGM-79G | Aug 29 2013, 03:33 AM Post #2 |
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Okay, I just have a few things. First, in his personality you say he's seen the tragedies of war, but you don't say what he's seen, his history actually makes it sound like he's seen little to nothing of war. Basically what I'm looking for is just to have that explained a little, unless you meant being turned into a Cyber-Newtype, it just doesn't seem like anything happened to his family or around him personally, which is why I brought it up. Secondly, in the history you said "Fearing his growing potential, the Cyber Newtype Program set up limiters in the form of a code-word" (Like the block words used in Destiny.), but in the personality you say "When the code-word is spoken, Tenji becomes almost like a berserker, attacking friends, foes, even civilians". This doesn't at all seem like a limiter, in fact this seems like removing a limiter since he can't tell who is or isn't an enemy and just attacks everyone. A code-word as a limiter seems more like something that would prevent or stop that kind of thing (Again, like the block words.), not cause it. Basically what I mean is, from what's in the bio, use of the code-word causes exactly what they made it to prevent. And finally, I'd like to ask for at least another paragraph in the biography, like adding in a bit with the tragedies of war that he's seen, and/or explaining why his parents enrolled him in an "Early Soldier" program. Or if his parents are dead, and the "family" he wants to meet is simply false memories he was given when his were apparently removed. |
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| Valhalla | Aug 29 2013, 04:42 AM Post #3 |
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Tech Moderator
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Bumping for Re-Review. |
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| Vance Vulferam | Aug 29 2013, 09:32 AM Post #4 |
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Crown Prince of Mars
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Looks good so far Val, just need another admin to look it over for a second approval. |
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| Nanako | Aug 29 2013, 03:36 PM Post #5 |
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Root Administrator
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Looks good to me too. |
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