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Friday Night Rage #15; 4.4.14
Topic Started: Apr 5 2014, 10:38 PM (200 Views)
Brutalikus
Member Avatar
The Unremarkable
Posted ImageLive from St. Lois, Missouri.
Friday, April 4th 2014

----------------------------------
The show opened with fireworks, smoke and a light display set to the tune of "Runnin' Wild” by Airbourne.


The crowd cheers as cameras pans the arena, picking up several of the more memorable signs on display:

"Since when did Magnum Wolf get a commercial deal tossing rhinos?"

"The Hitmen > US Air Dorks and Otaku Drift"

“Gentlefarts of Fortune Cookies!"


*(The "Beard Boyz" as they have been dubbed once again appeared, dressed in their B.E.A.R.D. shirts with Ricky Diamond beards on, this time complete with their own sasquatch companion with a bow on "her" head and red lips holding a sign that read; "Mary Me Jim! <3")*

The show begins by the cameras swinging to ringside to show Tom and Dexter as they introduce us to the show and run down the card for tonight including the main event of Southern Comfort challenging James Galleona and Charles Williams of the Gentlemen of Fortune before sending it over to Cordelia Stewart to introduce the opening contest.


MATCH 1 –
US Air Force vs. Tokyo Drift vs. The Hitmen
_____________________________


“Hell March 3” starts and after 30 seconds both Randy and Jason of the US Air Force appear from the stage entrance. They both stay on the stage when Randy turns to Jason and salutes to him, Jason does the same thing. After this they both march to the ring. Randy slides in first as Jason walks by the steps. Randy and Jason are shaking their hands and later they salute to the audience.

The "Blazin" theme kicks in as Tokyo Drift omes running out, spinning and and dropping to one bent knee, kissing two fingers on each hand, and pointing both fingers on each of their hands to the sky. They get back to his feet and psyches out a fan trying to reach out and slap hands with him. They then sprint to the ring, sliding in under the bottom rope into the middle of the ring, repeating his pose from the ramp, calling for streamers to be thrown and getting a suprising number in response from the American crowd.

'Justice' by Rev Theory plays over the PA system as green and red flashing lights dance around the entrance area. Cormac Cobbs and BB Damage come running out from the back energetically and stops at the top of the ramp, posing, to allow those in attendance to take photographs of them both. They make their way down towards the ring stopping randomly and doing funny poses for the fans. They play to the crowd on their way into the ring and do one final pose for the audience before meeting the other teams in the center of the ring.

Tom Hartman: These three teams met last week with all three looking to make a name for themselves at the expense of the other teams. I'm intruiged to see which team comes out on top in this three way outting.

Dexter Finch: The Finch always comes out on top.... naw, that's a lie. Usually I end up in the middle of some dominatrix situation. Don't ask.

The three teams share some smack talk while talking strategy with their teams and White whispers something to Shaw, who nods accordinly before they both step out to the bottom right corner. “The Amazing” Yoshirhiro Fujiwara and BB damage are selected as the first to start, Cormac Cobbs taking the lower left turnbuckle and Kaz Hashimoto taking the upper left. Yoshi and BB circle up as the bell rings when suddenly White charges across the apron and slugs Cobbs with a clothesline, knocking him off the apron. BB turns to see what is happening and Yoshi takes advantage of the distraction by throwing BB with a chain of german suplexes, but Damage flips through the third one as Shaw has now joined White on the Cobbs attack outside the ring and Damage spins around and flies over the ropes with a slingshot crossbody, taking Shaw down while both members of Tokyo Drift nod to each other and Kaz runs across the apron while Yoshi runs to the same turnbuckle, criss-crossing as Kaz whips around the post 619-style (sort of) into an elbow drop across White's shoulder blades while Yoshi hits a diving plancha that takes down both Shaw and Damage! All three men are out and brawling on the floor as the ref begins to count out the legal men, Damage and Yoshi!

… 1

… 2


Kaz irish whips White into the steal steps, Yoshi slashes at Shaw's chest with chops and kicks into the barricad, but gets picked up with a side effect back first onto the barricade by Damage, spilling Yoshi into the front row!

… 3

… 4


Kaz whips White with a belly to belly suplex across the floor after smashing him off the steps a few times and turns around to get nailed with a tandem bicycle kick from the Hitmen that sends Kaz topling over the stairs!

Tom Hartman: This is pandemonium! I'm being told that if any of the legal men are counted out under these odd rules, their team will be eliminated and will continue with the remaining teams.

Dexter Finch: Looks like somebody forgot to look at the rulebook for a triple threat match!

… 5

… 6


Shaw comes up behind the Hitmen and alternates between the two, clocking one with a roundhouse kick and then switching with a back kick and facebreaker knee smash, then a snap suplex, but Cobbs kicks him in the gut before he can do anymore damage and goes for a spinebuster on Shaw but they all end up crumpling into a pile when Yoshi jumps onto the barricade and dives at them with a wicked front dropkick that drives them into the apron!

… 7

… 8


White takes advantage and hits a double underhook backbreaker and holds it on Yoshi, trying to get him counted out, but Kaz has none of it and hits a shining wizard to the back of the head while BB Damage catches him with a buzzsaw kick to the face! Damage grabs Yoshi and rolls him into the ring for a pin, but makes the mistake of not taking out Kaz first, leading to an almost instant break by Kaz

Tom Hartman: That was a rookie mistake from BB Damage with Kaz Hashimoto clearly being right behind him.

Kaz pulls BB to his feet and drops him with the Rolling Rock (running wrist clutch death valley driver) and moves back out to his corner to tag Yoshi, but Shaw pulls him down and tags Yoshi himself, making Shaw the legal man! Shaw jumps over the ropes and lands a double foot stomp into Yoshi's back and keeps the momentum rolling by hitting the ropes and slingshoting at Damage for some sort of move only to be smashed out of the air with the Flash Photography (superkick) from Cormac Cobbs to a nice round of...

Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit!

Dexter Finch: Wowza he better hope he has a second row of teeth because I think I saw his first row fly into the first row! You see what I did there Tom?

Cobbs steps out to the lower left corner and goes to tag Damage who crawls in for the tag, but Kaz and Yoshi get into the ring and drag him back into their corner, Kaz tagging in while Yoshi bars BB's legs! Kaz rushes in like a bull and nails Shaw with a shoulder block and takes out White with a clothesline when he attempts to get involved with a nice lariat. Kaz calls for the end by getting Shaw into a wheelbarrow position for the Limitless Explosion (Wheelbarrow facebuster (Kaz) / Cutter (Yoshi) combo), but Kaz backs up too far and Cormac tags off his back while Tokyo Drift drills Shaw to the mat, but when Kaz stands up, he get dropped with a diving famouser from Cobbs! Yoshi starts stomping away at him, but Damage gets into the ring an cactus clotheslines Yoshi over the top rope while nobody seems to notice Shaw make a tag to White. White jumps off the apron, though now being the legal man and drills Kaz's head as it hangs halfway out of the ring with a big knee that smashes his head into the ringpost with a sickening impact and as Cormac blasts Shaw with a Flash Photography superkick! White slides into the ring and when the unsuspecting Cobbs turns around, his face is crunched in by a Texas Kick (bicycle kick) from Jason White! White goes for the pin!

… One

… Two

… Three!


Cordelia Stewart: Here are your winners, The US Air Force!

The audience is torn in their response as though they dislike the victors, they thoroughly enjoyed this openning contest as White slaps Shaw to his senses and the two wounded soldiers walk away from the carnage with smirks at the damage caused in the ring.



_____________________________
***SCENE FADES TO BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________


We open in the dressing room of the Gentlemen Of Fortune. There, sitting on posh leather couches are Deacon Black and James Galleon. Not far from them, pacing a bit, looking extra livid is Charles Williams, the crowd giving some serious heat to the group.

Charles Williams: “We cannot be embarrassed like that again! I especially cannot be humiliated like that again! I brought a division into prominence, my friends, and I will damned if I stand for this any longer!”

James Galleon: “Understandably so, and we certainly didn’t enjoy being captured in the nets of a delusional little man or that walking canker sore, Ricky Diamond.”

Deacon Black: “Then we agree that we must properly strategize and forge ahead. With that in mind, I think we all can also agree, that perhaps we are in need of a hired hand or two, some more muscle power, if you will, to further our cause.”

James Galleon: “I concur. I’m certain we have some similar names in mind.”

Charles Williams: “Do whatever you have to, but I want my championship back. Whoever you hire, make sure they have our best interests in mind.”

Deacon Black: “Rest easy, Charles. Have some tea. Relax. We have everything well in hand. Let’s go, James.”

Galleon and Black get up to leave, as Charles takes a deep breath.

Charles Williams: “Perhaps some tea is in order. I am the greatest champion this brand has ever had, after all.”

Williams also exits the scene as we return to ringside.


_____________________________
***SCENE FADES TO BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________



Backstage, Meghan Cross is seen watching a video on a laptop, starting it over and over again. It shows Livvy taking out Rain in the ring as Meghan recovered on the outside. Livvy rolls out of the ring as Meghan notices Rain laid out and slides in to pin her for the win. The expression on her face says it all. Livvy comes in the door behind her.

Livvy Doll: What’s up buttercup?

Meghan: Don’t even talk to me. I cannot believe what you did last week. Had I known you interfered, I wouldn’t have pinned her. You know I don’t want to cheat to win. That’s how it looks to the whole locker room now.

Livvy Doll: I thought you wanted to be champion? I wanted you to be champion. And now you can be.

Meghan: I didn’t want it like this…

She shakes her head and starts to walk out of the locker room. The usually bubbly Livvy turns and gives a venomous response.

Livvy Doll: Don’t you forget I control you!

Meghan: You know what.... I don't have the time to deal with this right now with a title match coming up later. All I'll say right now is that you had better not stick your nose in my match later tonight Livvy. I'm warning you... you mess around like that again and I WILL take you down with me.

Meghan rolls her eyes and slams the door behind her, leaving Livvy standing there fuming herself now. We flash to the announce table where Tom Hartman and Dexter Finch were watching the action.

Tom Hartman: Well that should come as no surprise. Meghan previously forfeit a match because Livvy got involved, and now the problem for he has gone deeper.

Dexter Finch: I don’t know what the big deal is. So a hot, crazy ass chick wants to help you win a title. Why not?

Tom Hartman: For Meghan, Dex, it’s all about doing this the right way. Still, she has to focus for that match against Ambiance tonight.

_____________________________
***BACK AT RINGSIDE***
_____________________________



MATCH 2 –
The Billy Way vs. Deacon Black
_____________________________


The heavy breathing of The Billy Way is audible to the fans as the camera zooms in on the titantron as the song, "Dressed to Digress"(Nero remix) blares out of the speakers. Billy licks his lips, anxious to get into the ring before dancing his way to the ring. Once he's close to the ring, he gets a running start and slides under the ropes like Edge before humping the mat.

‘Welcome To The Masquerade’ by Thousand Foot Krutch kicks in. A pulsing white light starts flashing. Suddenly the pulsing light stops and Deacon Black is seen standing at the top of the ramp. Deacon swaggers down to the ring drinking in all the ‘boos’ from the crowd, Komodo following close behind. Once in the ring he climbs the turnbuckle and throws out his arms, which just makes the audience start booing him again.

The bell rings and The Billy just pauses and stares at Komodo, looking as if he might spring form the ring and charge him. Way simply smirks, and runs his hands over his own chest, shuddering in sheer delight. Deacon looks on disgusted, and takes the momentary distraction to drill Way with some well-timed forearms to the back. He wheels Way around and fires off some Euro. Uppercuts, followed by a nasty looking double knee armbreaker. Way rolls up to a kneeling position, shaking out the arm, and Deacon Black blasts him with a Shining Wizard. Way rolls with the force of the blow, rolling out of the ring for a slight reprieve. This is no break at all, however, as Komodo starts striding toward him. The Billy Way just shakes his head and scrambles around to the other side of the ring, but Black meets him with a dropkick under the bottom ropes that sends Way sideways into the safety rail. Black follows him out, looking for a running knee lift… and Way instinctively backdrops Black over the railing into the front row! The fans narrowly missed getting squashed there. Way rolls back into the ring.


Tom Hartman: Well, Billy certainly needed that to turn the tide. But it’s always a disadvantage vs. Deacon Black, with that damn Komodo out here.

Dexter Finch: Don’t damn the dragon man, Tommy. Take your butt to church!

The ref continues his count as Deacon makes his way back over the rail and onto the apron, but Way greets him and brings him back in with a suplex hold, which drops into a sitout suplex slam. Way licks his lips and runs his fingers through his hair, slapping the mat and getting the crowd into it. He gets Deacon up and staggers him with some forearm clubs and an elevated neckbreaker. Now Way has him up… and he’s looking for The Billy Way finisher… but Deacon slides out evading it… and Way pursuing him and nails a running DDT! Nutcracker (reverse atomic drop) and dropkick by Way! Now he whips Black into the corner and peppers him with punches until he falls flat on his butt in the corner, his head on the bottom turnbuckle. Way sees this and whistles, massaging his own upper thighs and runs across the ring, only to return very quickly nailing the Bronco Buster on Deacon! After a lengthy ride, Way dismounts with an almost euphoric chill running through his body. Deacon is beyond disgusted.

Tom Hartman: I’m sorry, the fans seem to dig him… but I wouldn’t wrestle Billy Way for a million dollars.

Dexter Finch: How about… two million?!?

Deacon is up and Way looks for a running big boot, but Black dodges it and nails a spinning heel kick and a chop block to take him down. Shaking out the cobwebs, Black waits for Way to rise and then drills him with a springboard knee to the face! Eyeing the ringside area… he grabs Way and pulls him over to the ropes, climbing out onto the apron. Deacon is looking for the Black Damage now, clearly looking to drill a brainbuster on the floor. He hauls Way up, but Way is struggling with him, gripping at the ropes and trying to keep leverage to avoid certain doom. The ref is over there admonishing them, telling them to get out of the ropes and back into the ring. Black with another mighty heave up, but Way rakes the eyes and drops back down, somehow reversing the leverage and getting Black up, but Way gets his foot tangled in the bottom rope and both men tumble awkwardly to the mat… and they inadvertently take out the referee!!! The crowd is going bonkers, and now Komodo stalks up the ring steps and climbs into the ring, eyeing The Billy Way like a vulture eyeing roadkill. He charges over and kicks Billy in the face and chokeslams him to the mat. Komodo is on him now, choking the holy hell out of him… and the crowd goes up in uproar! Why? Because… here comes Danny DeVries!!!

Tom Hartman: DDV! DDV! DDV!

Dexter Finch: Bah gawd?

Tom Hartman: Easy…

DDV has a chair and he wastes no time letting his intentions be known, as he rolls right in and blasts Komodo with several thunderous chairshots… and the beast is damaged! He rolls outside the ring holding his head. And now Deacon Black is up, and he sees what has unfolded…and he’s backtracking now, apologizing to DDV! He offers to shake Danny’s hand! DDV lowers the chair, looking out at the crowd, he looks back and slowly raises his hand to shake… but then shrugs and waylays Deacon Black with the chair!!! He grabs Billy Way and throws him on top of Deacon Black and goes over to check on the ref. The ref groggily makes his way over and counts..

One…

Two…

Three!!!


Cordelia Stewart: Here is your winner THE BILLY WAY!!!!

DDV celebrates with the groggy Way, as Deacon Black rolls out of the ring, seething. Komodo and Black back up the ramp, holding their heads, Deacon spewing epithets at DDV and Way, clearly pissed off and embarrassed here!!!


_____________________________
***SCENE FADES TO BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________


The scene switches backstage with Freddy Morris as he's flanked on either side by DEM BOYS Southern Comfort. Austyn stares menacingly into the camera, slowly swaying from side to side as Jackson leans on Freddy, and tussles his head with a nuggie.

Freddy Morris: Umm, okay, ah Hello Rage fans, Freddy Morris here with Southern Comfort. Gentlemen tonight you have-

Austyn: TONIGHT FREDDY, we gots us our chance of gettin' a lil' revenge on dees here Gentlemen of For-chune. Y'all thought you'd jus get away wit what y'all did at the end of 13- HUH? Naw, we don't play like that. We're Surly-

Jackson: Yes indeed...

Austyn: ...we're pissed off-

Jackson: ...testify Brother...

Austyn: ...and we're coming to get us our revenge, southern style. Where we from, 'nother man does you like you did us, you put him in the GROUND! THAT'S what y'all got to look forward to!

A clapping sound distracts Austyn and he whips around to spot Darius Jackson coming into the scene, nodding in agreement with Austyn.

Darius Jackson: Wooo! You boys are fired UP tonight!

Austyn: Damn right we are.

Austyn spits a wad of chewing tobacco near the feet of Jackson, but the bossman lets it slide.

Darius Jackson: Well I'm glad you two are fired up, cause I have an announcement to make. The winners of your match tonight, will be entered into a special Rage Tag title match at Gateway to Stardom in 2 weeks time.

The crowd cheers in the background as Austyn nods his head and Jackson looks confused asking Freddy "what that mean?"

Darius Jackson: Good luck fellas...

Darius extends his hand as Austyn eyeballs him...

Austyn: We don't need no god damn luck. We the best damn tag team on this or ANY damn roster.

Austyn spits nears Darius' feet again and walks off stiffing the handshake. Darius looks somewhat offended as Jackson slips in and vigorously shakes it with both hands.

Jackson: Don't worry bout him Commish. We's just itchin' to get in a little asswoopin' an' we ain't gon let you down man!

Jackson lets out a WOO, then ducks off screen. Darius smiles then walks over to the Purell station and lathers up his hands.

_____________________________
***ELSEWHERE BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________


The scene cuts to backstage where we see Ambrose Ulysses Beauregarde walking with Miss Jessie Rae flanked to his left and the massive Freeman on his right when we see Ricky Diamond come running up to A.U.B. as Ricky starts to speak.

Ricky Diamond: Hey, Ambrose! Ooh, ooh Ambrose! Can I get an interview from our resident Foghorn Leghorn impersonator?

A.U.B. simply rolls his eyes as he turns his attention briefly to Ricky.

A.U.B.: Boy, what-evah do you want, make it quick, for I ain't got th' time or th' patience fo' some lower-class Yankee such as yo-self!

Ricky Diamond: My first question for you is were you a fan of Foghorn Leghorn growing up?

A.U.B. is not amused while Freeman has his fists clenched while Miss Jessie Rae is behind them, winking playfully at Ricky.

Ricky Diamond: My second question is can you hook me up with a lifetime supply of Beauregarde Bourbon?

A.U.B.: Boy, yo' testin' mah patience... I suggest ya git to yo' point quick-leh befo' Freeman heah hits you so hard yo' grandchildren shall be born un-conscious!

Undeterred, Ricky continues when sees Miss Jessie Rae and makes a comment.

Ricky Diamond: On behalf of America, I wouldn't mind tapping that like a frat boy at a keg party!

Miss Jessie Rae blushes and winks at Ricky when suddenly, A.U.B. takes off a white glove and slaps Ricky on both cheeks with the glove and raises his voice.

A.U.B.: Boy, ya've dis-ruh-spected mah fam'ly an' yo' coarse an' vul-gah re-marks to my "Darling of Dixieland" shall NOT go un-punished fo' I am a man who DEMANDS satisfaction...

Freeman draws back to try and hit Ricky when A.U.B. stops Freeman and speaks up.

A.U.B.: Now, now, Freeman... let's not waste our en-uh-gy on some lil' ol' plebe like this boy with his ridiculous beard an fuhst-grade hair-cut... we got a surfuh boy to take care of fo' now... but rest assured, Richard Diamond... DON'T. TREAD. ON. ME!

A.U.B. and his entourage storm off as Ricky's cowering in fear of the massive Freeman before he waits until they're gone and speaks up, watching Miss Jessie Rae leave.

Ricky Diamond: Mirror, mirror on the wall... Jean Claude Van-DAMN SHE'S HOT! AWOOGA!


_____________________________
***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
_____________________________



MATCH 3 –
Ambrose Ulysseus Burreguarde vs. Justin Moreno
_____________________________


"The South's Gonna Do It Again" by The Charlie Daniels Band begins to play. As the music reaches its crescendo, we see Ambrose Ulysses Beauregarde come out of the curtain with his nose arrogantly in the air, smiling with his massive black English bodyguard he simply refers to as Freeman to his left and "The Darling of Dixie" Miss Jessie Rae around his arm on his right. He surveys the crowd making a "money" sign to the crowd as he twirls an old 1800's titanium walking cane while smiling and waving during the crowd's catcalls, boos, and hissing. As Miss Jessie Rae shrieks insults at the fans in a shrill, annoying manner, Ambrose keeps waving all the way to the ring where he stops at the ring steps for Freeman to remove his jacket.

"Immortal" by War of Ages starts to play over the P.A. System. The spotlight finally focuses in the heart of the crowd with a spotlight on Justin Moreno, decked out in a sleeveless black T-Shirt, baggy black pleather pants with the words "Moreno" on the pant legs in the exact replica of the Monster Energy logo, He then walks with determination through the crowd, embracing any fan that he can get to. He finally gets to the front row and jumps over the guard rail. He then tosses off his shirt, pulls a Sharpie out of his boot, autographs the shirt and tosses it into the crowd before he does a backflip off the top rope as green pyro explodes from the turnbuckles three times. Letting out a loud primal scream and pounding his fists hard on the canvas as he gets in his fighting stance, awaiting his opponent.

AUB and Moreno circle each other as the bell rings, AUB being the fine southern gentleman that he is offers a handshake to Moreno, who simplys smirks and waves it off, which infuriates AUB. He stomps around, bellowing at Miss Jessie about Justin being an impudent rascal. They lock up up collar and eblow style and AUB grabs a side headlock, wrenching it in with much theatrics, much to the crowd’s chagrin. AUB runs through a quick textbook lesson in wrestling: scoop slam, snap suplex, and an armdrag transitioned into an armbar. He gets Moreno up, whips him into the ropes looking for a powerslam but Moreno slides over the back and catches AUB with a Pele kick and a double underhook backbreaker. Moreno on for the quick cover, but it only gets one… and AUB bails to the outside. And here comes Ricky Dimaond.

Ricky Diamond: Excuse me, my fine southern gentleman friend… as I was in the back I couldn’t help but think I forgot to ask you a few things, such as your thoughts on the plight of the American tobacco farmer, if you missed the tv show Hee-Haw, and where exactly you bought those Colonel Sanders suits.. custom made or directly from KFC? The inquiring wrestling fan wants to know.

AUB looks at Freeman and Miss Jessie Rae with a bewildered expression.

AUB: Deah suh, if you did not realize, I’m in the middle of this heah match, kindly take ya microphone and begone, son!

Rick Diamond: Any truth to the rumors you were asked to replace JR Ewing on Dallas?

AUB: I am from Kentucky, you ding-dang…

But AUB can’t finish that statement as he’s cut off by the high flying Justin Moreno who springs at him, nailing an Asai moonsault! Moreno gets him up and throws him back into the ring, and stays on him, nailing a springboard flying forearm and a sweet looking kip-up! He smiles to the crowd and runs over for a roll-through single leg crab. Moreno cranks on the hold, and Rick Diamond decides it’s a perfect opportunity to continue his interview.

Ricky Diamond: Pardon me, but – ow, ow!

Miss Jessie Rae has started hitting Ricky with her purse, distracting the referee. This allows Freeman to slide into the ring and kick Moreno in the head, breaking the crab hold. Freeman rolls out and goes over to settle Miss Jessie down, as Ricky comically pouts. AUB gets back up and nails a cobra clutch Russian leg sweep, Lou Thesz press and mounted punches, badmouthing him the whole way. Now AUB nails an airplane spin and struts around the ring, doing his cocky Southern shtick, waving at his loving wife. He then goes and runs for a Harley Race knee drop, but Moreno rolls out of the way! AUB dramatically oversells this, howling as if shot. Justin Moreno gets back up to his feet, and bounces off the ropes…. And he gets clobbered in the back of the head… by Deathstalker!!!

Tom Hartman: To add to this drama, Deathstalker has emerged from under the ring here folks…

Dexter Finch: Let’s see what our roving reporter Ricky Diamond has to say… Ricky?

Ricky Diamond: I can’t… I can’t take it!!! AAaaaghghhh!!!!

With that Ricky Diamond runs away, scared, as Tom and Dexter look at each other and shrug…

Back in the ring, Deathstalker has entered and is destroying Justin Moreno, as AUB has rolled out of the ring with a disappointed look on his face.

Cordelia Stewart: The winner of this match via DQ… JUSTIN MORENO!!!

AUB and company just wave off this business, and the southern gentleman takes his lovely wife in his arm and struts to the back, as Freeman scowls at the crowd. Meanwhile, Moreno is getting slaughtered…. And here comes Ricardo Diamondo, the nefariously evil one to … save the day! He climbs the turnbuckle, gesturing valiantly to the crowd and leaps… only for Deathstalker to turn and swat him out of the sky!!! Diamondo rolls from the ring, and now here comes Riley Grace… as Deathstalker was still eyeing Diamondo, Grace runs around the other side and pulls Moreno from the ring. Deathstalker turns and points at both of them, shaking his fists in rage as Grace and Moreno have escaped his wrath for now!!!

Tom Hartman: What a crazy, crazy match folks…

Dexter Finch: Where did Ricky Diamond go, I was looking forward to more questions about southern living… ???


_____________________________
***SCENE FADES TO BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________


We open backstage, where the Brutalion, Keith Battle and Oti Amalu are getting cups of water from a cooler. Strolling onto the scene is James Galleon, to a chorus of boos. Oti gives Galleon an intense stare, and James holds up his hands in protest.

James Galleon: “Gentlemen, I mean you no harm. Allow me to introduce myself-“

Keith Battle: “We know who you are, pal.”

James Galleon: “A man who can get right to the point. I can appreciate that. I come to you today with a business proposition.”

Keith Battle: “We’re listening.”

James Galleon: “Would you like to be paid handsomely for your services in furthering the expansion of The Gentlemen Of Fortune?”

Oti continues giving Galleon an intense stare, before a small smile forms on his face. He smacks Galleon hard in the arm.

Oti Amalu: “We have business of our own to attend to, but I’ll tell you what, you have the money to throw around, we just might be interested.”

Keith Battle: “But only if you’re willing to pay up. We don’t come cheap you know.”

The duo throws their cups away and goes to leave, Galleon rubbing his arm.

James Galleon: “Very well then. We will keep in touch.”

_____________________________
***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
_____________________________

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Brutalikus
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The Unremarkable
_____________________________
***SOMEWHERE BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________


We open with Jason White barking orders up to Randy Shaw, who is climbing a long rope. Shaw climbs down, as White clicks his stop watch.

Jason White: “Not bad, soldier. Not bad at all.”

Randy Shaw: “Thank you, Sarge.”

Onto the scene, clapping generously is Deacon Black.

Deacon Black: “Bravo, indeed. Well done.”

Jason White: “Did anyone give you permission to attend this training session, boy?”

Randy Shaw: “This is a restricted area!”

Deacon Black: “Gentlemen, gentlemen, please, I meant no offense by coming here. I come to you an ally in this great war that is raging out there on the battlefields. I come to you with the possibility of a great alliance that will benefit us both. For myself and my associates, the added fire power of two great soldiers such as yourselves.”

Jason White: “And for us?”

Randy Shaw: “Yeah, what’s in it for us?”

Deacon Black: “Why payment worthy of such services, of course.”

White and Shaw huddle up as Deacon looks on. White turns and slowly extends his hand to Black.

Jason White: “You’ve got yourself a deal, Black.”

Randy Shaw: “But in the future, get clearance for coming into our training sessions.”

Deacon Black: “My apologies again, gentlemen. A good day to you.”

Black turns and rounds the corner, almost bumping into the South Texas Bulldogs, Ricky and Bobbie Tisdale.

Ricky Tisdale: “Ah, just the man we were looking for.”

Bobbie Tisdale: “What’s this we hear about you looking to hire some muscle?”

Deacon Black: “You heard correctly.”

Ricky Tisdale: “Well, when were you planning on asking us?”

Bobbie Tisdale: “Yeah, we’ve got plenty of muscle to spare.”

Deacon Black: “You two? I hate to disappoint you, but I speak for our group when I say, how do I put it, you lack the class necessary to be our lac- er I mean, faithful henchmen. Good day, gentlemen.”

Black scoffs at them and walks off. Ricky turns to Bobbie.

Ricky: “You were right. He is a major asshole.”

The crowd cheers this as the Bulldogs walk off.

_____________________________
***BACK AT RINGSIDE***
_____________________________



MATCH 4 – Jr. Heavyweight Title #1 Contender Ladder Match
Nate Fame vs. Billy Shaw vs. Sebastian Jankowski
_____________________________


As soon as the drum hits the lights turn off, and we can hear the entrance of "Bulls on Parade" made by Rage Against The Machine. After the guitar riff solo starts, white and red lights start to turn on in the rhythm of a song. Finally, all the lights are on and we can see Sebastian Jankowski standing at the arena's entrance, standing and acting like he has a microphone, and yells with the fans:"Come wit it now!" in sync with the song. He goes on to make motions that synchronize with the lyrics, totally playing to the audience. He gets to the ring in time for thechorus, "They rally round the family! With a pocket full of shells", and backflips off each turnbuckle one after the other.

Then Fame comes down to the ring dressed to impress wearing his shades, robe, and of course his infamous boa. He trie to make the biggest entrance as possible given his resources. As a face he is very friendly with the fans signing babies and posing for pictures. As a heel he still signs babies, but that's gonna cost ya.

Finally, the beginning of the song “Under Pressure” has a countdown to three and at the end of the count down it says lift off. When the lyric of lift off is said fire works and pyros go off and out comes shaw and he runs to one side of the stage and bows to the fans and goes to the side and waves. He then sprints down to the ring and slides under the ropes. He goes to all four corners and throws arms out ala Randy Orton and then goes to meet Seb and Fame in the center of the ring.

Tom Hartman: All three of these showman daredevils has had their moment in the spotlight over the last several weeks, all going 1-1 in their round robin matches with each other. Now it all culminated in this; a ladder match for a shot at Charles-er... Acer Stones' newly won Jr. Heavyweight title.

Dexter Finch: Ha! You totally forgot that the Charlie guy lost last week, didn't you? Anyways, why is their a briefcase hanging up their above the ring? Does it have money or Yu-gi-oh cards in it?

Tom Hartman: It's the contract for the Jr. title match that they can cash in whenever they so choose Dex.

All three men eye up the ladders standing on each side of the ring and the briefcase with the title contract hanging high above their heads as they shake hands, exchanging cocky words and smirks with each other as the bell rings and all three circle around, just waiting to see who will make the first move.... the first being Fame who immediately tries to scurry to the outside. But, of course Shaw and Seb are right on him, pulling him back to the center of the ring and landing a tandem dropkick across Fame's back and then run in opposite directions as Shaw expects Seb to run for another tandem move of somesort, but Seb smirks and slides to the outside, causing Shaw to give chase, only to be pulled down with a drop toe hold by Fame followed by several eblow drops to the back. Seb goes for the first ladder on the outside near the west (ramp) side and picks it up, going to slide it into the ring by proping it on the edge of the ring, but he lifts it as Fame tries to baseball slide kick it into him and then Seb smashes it down on Fame's leg and then wedges Fame's feet through one of the rungs, effectively making Fame's legs locked up in the ladder! Things only get crazier when Shaw runs from inside the ring and dropkicks the top of the ladder, causing it to pull Fame throat first into the bottom rope as the ladder smashes Fame's shoulder and then Shaw does the insane by running the ropes again and hitting a somesault plancha onto the ladder proped on Fame's back and hooked to Fame's legs, dropping all three down to the floor in a heap to a nice “Holy Shit!” chant!

Tom Hartmart: I can't believe these men were crazy enough to ask for ladders in this match!

Dexter Finch: That's not how you use a ladder silly guys!

Shaw tosses his arms out to the crowd to a nice round of applause and then quickly limp-slides the ladder into the ring and scurries up top for the briefcase, but Fame staggers in himself and follows Shaw up, trading punches and ending with a nice roundhouse from the top of the ladder by Seb that has Shaw hanging on by one hand. Shaw gets back up right and blocks a punch from Seb, slamming him face first off the top of the ladder as he reaches for the briefcase, but Seb hits him in the gut and grabs him by the arms, throwing Shaw over his head as they fall to the mat with an INCREDIBLE modified Greetings From Poland (Iconoclasm)!

Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit!

Tom Hartman: Oh my God! Greetings From Poland all the way from the top of the ladder! This match has barely gone 5 minutes and it might already be over!

The force of the impact knocks the ladder over as Fame slides back into the ring with a new ladder, proping it up on the lower right turnbuckle as a bridge between the corner and the middle ladder. Fame then ducks to the apron and climbs the turnbuckle, attempting to walk on the rungs of the ladder like a bridge to the top of the ladder proped up in the middle and the audience grows in anticipation as Seb is back to his feet and sprinboards off the ropes near Fame, grabbing him by the head out of mid air with a rolling neck breaker that drops them both across the bridged ladder to a sickening thud to another huge “Holy shit!” chant! Somehow, the ladder bridge doesn't collapse with Fame laying almost lifeless across the top of it while Seb rolls to the mat holding his elbow after taking much of the impact to it and his back while Shaw gets to his feet and smirks to the crowd, seeing Fame laying across the ladder bridge that extends from the center ladder to the lower right corner and begins climbing to the top! But he stops towards the top with both of his opponents down, looking at the briefcase and then back down at Fame a few times before, shrugging his shoulders and vaulting over the top of ladder and landing an ASTONISHING flying leg drop on to Fame, that snapes the ladder bridge in half! At this point, the chants almost aren't even stopping!

Crowd: Holy Shit! Thank You Jun-iors! Holy Shit!....

Tom Hartman: I.....I.... I don't even know what to say! I'm at a loss for words with how amazing these brave young men are for putting their bodies on the line like this!

Dexter Finch: Woo-hoo! Billy Shaw- you da birdman! Encore freebird!

Tom Hartman: Wait a minute.... Look at that! It's Seb!

Fame and Shaw look practically gone as they lay motionless in a pile of broken ladder as the referee desperately checks on them to make sure they are even alive after the bump and that's when Seb gets to his feet and starts gingerly climbing the ladder with one arm and he gets to the top stuggling to get the briefcase unlatched!

Tom Hartman: Sebastian's going to win it! But wait! No! There's Shaw! How is he standing?! Can he stop Seb from getting the briefcase?!

Indeed Shaw is to his feet with the aid of the ropes as he tries to limp back towards the ladder, tripping over the broken ladder bits and Fame's downed body as he desperately tries to climb the ladder while Seb fieriously fiddles with the brief case at the top! Shaw climbs after Seb step by step by step and then..... Sebastian unhooks the briefcase and the referee calls for the bell!

Cordelia Stewart: Here is your winner, Sebastian Jankowski!

The audience is going crazy as Shaw rests his head down on one of the ladder steps, realizing how close he came to stopping Seb as Seb's music kicks in again and Seb holds the briefcase high above his head in triumph as he yells out to the crowd, before dropping to the ground to be confronted by Billy Shaw who begins to clap for him and raises his hand in victory before rolling out of the ring while Seb calls for a microphone.

Sebastian Jankowski:Acer Stone! Next week it is you and me for the Jr. Heavyweight title! Don't blink, because you won't even see me!

_____________________________
***SCENE FADES TO BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________



The cameras go backstage where Marco is standing next to Venus, the large blond woman standing tall with her arms folded across her chest and the Women's Belt around her waist proudly.

Marco Cruze: "Taylor Grace has NO chance to take this title from my mighty client Venus. In fact, NO one has the capability to do so. She has beaten every woman here on Rage and it seems as if there isn't a single woman in the world that has what it takes to beat Elite's undisputed Goddess champion!

???: "Hold on, champ. You haven't beaten 'everyone' just yet."

Kendra Rayne and Sierra Starr suddenly enter on the screen, the tag champions holding a slightly cocky smile as they looked at Marco and Venus.

Kendra Rayne: "Hold on, champ. You haven't beaten 'everyone' just yet."

Sierra Starr: "Actually, we have a proposition for you."

The two look at each other with coy expressions before looking back at Marco and Venus, Marco having a raised eyebrow while Venus doesn't seem interested in anything they say whatsoever.

Kendra Rayne: "I challenge you, Venus, to a match next week!

Marco Cruze: Wait a minute, that's preposterous! We are on the same side in case you had forgotten and-

Kendra Rayne: Look at it this way Marco... If I win, the title is still in the Elite."

Sierra Starr: "Exactly. We will still have the title, everyone is still happy, AND you get that challenge you want so desperately, Venus."

Marco looks hesitant at first, though Kendra pipes up.

Kendra Rayne: "Plus, us being Champions ourselves, it's not like we need your belt.... Or anything you have to off on that note."

Sierra Starr: "Guess we're just too dangerous, considering those Daughters of Dumbass were too scared to even show up tonight."

Marco: "Okay fine! You get that match next week! Just make sure you two don't disappoint!"

Venus slowly turns her gaze to Marco, eyes narrowed dangerously before she looked back at Kendra who was smiling brightly with Sierra nodding in approval. Venus goes up to Kendra, the other blond standing just as straight and holding her ground.

Marco Cruze "You had better make this match worth our time girls."

Kendra Rayne: "It'll be worth MUCH more... Trust me."

At that Marco and Venus walk away, the camera panning to Kendra and Sierra who both adjust their titles on their shoulders and look after Venus.


_____________________________
***SCENE FADES TO BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________


The scene is backstage where we see the Gentlemen of Fortune walking around backstage when they see Ambrose Ulysses Beauregarde leaning against a wall, decked out in an all white suit with a black bolo-tie, smoking a pipe with Freeman by his side, staring menacingly at the Gentlemen of Fortune, who stop when they see A.U.B., who starts to speak.

Ambrose Ulysses Beauregarde: Kin I help you fine gen'le-men?

James Galleon then starts to speak.

James Galleon: Good day, sir! My esteemed chaps and I have been chatting after noticing the air of a true gentleman of fortune that you brought to your match earlier this evening. With that in mind, we all have agreed that we might have a very lucrative business proposition that you may be interested in, good sir.

A.U.B. shifts his eyes with a look of intrigue and steps forward right in front of James Galleon before gently putting a hand on James' shoulder and beginning to speak.

Ambrose Ulysses Beauregarde: That's a mah-ty interestin' proposal you have theah mah fine gentleman. Mah deah suh, why don't we con-tinue this heah con-vuh-sation in mah private quartahs? Cain't have no lowly pee-ons in'er-uptin' us, now kin we?

They walk back to A.U.B.'s locker room as the door shuts behind them.


_____________________________
***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
_____________________________


As the lights flash quickly from pink to teal as the intro to "A Trigger Full Of Promises" by Walls of Jericho begins to play with smoke billowing from the stage, we see Meghan Cross bust out of the curtain, doing her best to ignore completely Livvy doll skipping behind her. She takes the cameraman to look at the crowd all cheering for her and then walks down interacting with the fans. She drops to her knees in the center of the ring pumping her fists, arching her back to look to the heavens and then she runs to the nearest turnbuckle playing to the crowd again.

Tom Hartman: You can just see how bothered Meghan is to have Livvy following her out here. This agreement between them can only end badly.

Dexter Finch: Or it could end with them rolling around on the mat. That’s a win-win. bzzzttt Hold that thought Tom; I just got a tweet from Gemini that says, "Too scared!? @StarrStruck Bitch, ain't nobody gots' time for ya' when there's an all you can eat Chinese buffet down tha' street! #FoodB4Suckaz #ThisEggrollKicksMoreAssThanU" ..... and now I'm hungry again.

Tom Hartman: Please Dex, leave the twitter stuff for after the show. I don't know what pro wrestling company would encourage their talent to sit on twitter in the middle of a show.

The opening chords of "What You Want" by Evanescence kicks in as dark purple strobelights pulse, wave, and flicker. Ambiance emerges from the back to a huge ovation, but she could really care less as she pumps one fist in the air and the title in the air with the other. In her dark purple corset and matching leather pants, Amber Stevenson is all business, bumping her taped fists together. Sliding under the ropes into the ring, she kneels and throws up a fist once again, her face down, almost trying to hide her eyes under her brown hair. The music fades as she stands up and stretches in her corner.

Tom Hartman: Ambiance hits the ring and hands her belt over to the official. The EWS World Women’s champ looking intense as she stares at Meghan.

Dexter Finch: Wifey No. 1 is ready to throw down. Oi! Hope she can’t hear me.

MATCH 5 – EWS World Woman's Title Match
Ambiance (c) vs. Meghan Cross
_____________________________


The ref calls for the bell and Ambiance slowly approaches the middle, beginning to talk toward Meghan, who paces. Cross stomps and gives Amber a look and then starts to talk back. Ambiance grins and gets in a ready position as Meghan approaches and they get into a collar-elbow tieup. There arms move down until Ambiance lands a knee to the gut. And then slams Meghan’s face on her raised thigh to put her on the mat. She looks down over her and steps back, waiting for her to get up.

Tom Hartman: Ambiance took the mental edge from the start. This deal with Livvy really getting to her.

Dexter Finch: My wifey has never looked hotter than she does right now.

Meghan gets up and Ambiance nods, waving her back again. They tieup again and begin to counter each other back and forth in arm and wrist locks. Meghan counters behind Ambiance and gets her in a headlock. Ambiance hits her with an elbow, but Meghan adjusts and whips her towards the ropes. Amber ducks a clothesline attempt and rebounds off the ropes. She hits a shoulder block on the way back, but also takes a haymaker style left hook from Meghan and they both crash down to the mat.

Tom Hartman: Somehow Cross got an extra shot in there before the shoulder to her chest drove her to the mat.

Ambiance pounds a fist into the mat and then touches at her lip, checking for the blood that wasn’t there. Meghan is getting up as Ambiance reaches her and pulls her up. Amber hits a pair of European uppercuts. She follows with a snap suplex that doesn’t seem to faze Cross, who pops right back up. She hits her with a second one and she pops back up. Ambiance goes for the third but Meghan counters with The Per-Plex-Er (sidewinder suplex) out of nowhere.

Tom Hartman: Suddenly a breath of life from Meghan Cross here.

Dexter Finch: For some reason she entered the match like she was stuck in a Walking Dead marathon.

Ambiance sits up off the mat to see Cross already up and coming towards her. She scrambles backwards toward the corner to stand up, and Cross meets her there with a clothesline that slams her into the turnbuckle. Ambiance slides down to the mat and goes to stand back up before getting hit by a knee from Meghan. Cross reaches down to grab Ambiance and sees Livvy nearing them on the apron. She drops Amber and starts jawing with Livvy, who gets an angry look on her own face and starts screaming back at her. Ambiance rolls Meghan up from behind for a pin.

1…

2…

Kick out!

Meghan rolls away from Ambiance and looks furious about Livvy almost costing her the match. She scrambles to her feet and at Amber, who takes advantage with a veteran move and trips her to the mat face first and then drops a leg on her back.


Tom Hartman: This is not the Meghan Cross we are used to. Her emotions are getting the best of her.

Dexter Finch: Or it might be that hot little minx dancing around her on the outside.

Ambiance has a handful of hair as she hauls Meghan to her feet and whips her towards a corner. Amber walking over to that near corner and pulls Meghan back out, tossing her between her legs and positioning her for a powerbomb. She lifts her up and Meghan somehow reverses with an arm around Ambiance’s neck and slams her down into the mat. She rolls Ambiance over and hooks a leg.

1…

Kick out!

Amber breaks the pin and gives Meghan a look as she shoves her away and scrambles backwards to her feet. Ambiance makes her way towards Meghan, saying something when Cross hits her across the face with a pair of stiff open handed slaps and than adds a stiff uraken to the face that knocks Ambiance to the ground and makes her hold her jaw. Cross runs and leaps over Ambiance, jumping back off the middle ropes with a moonsault and lands flush across the chest with a big impact.


Tom Hartman: Cross just keeps finding ways to keep herself in this match.

Cross looks outside the ring where Livvy is staring at her. She stands and walks over the top of Amber and starts speaking to Livvy.

Dexter Finch: And she keeps finding ways for the hot, crack chick to keep her from winning the title.

She points and yells for Livvy to leave. Livvy shakes her head and points back at her, reminding her that she’d won the match to take control of her. She reaches in her tights as the crowd begins in cat calls and whistles, pulling out a large paper contract that seemed impossible to stash there. She displays it to Meghan and grins wickedly as she acts like she’d going to rip it. Meghan reaches out as a pair of legs kicks her hard in the pack and she piles over the top ropes and lands on the apron, keeping herself from spilling to the floor.

Tom Hartman: Ambiance takes advantage with a dropkick while Meghan is distracted by her contract partner.

Dexter Finch: Correct me if I’m wrong Tom, but isn’t that how a marriage works.

Tom Hartman: Dex… wow… that might be the most intelligent analysis you’ve ever made.

Ambiance grabs Meghan with two hands and pulls her under the rope and into the ring as Livvy laughs at Meghan. The crowd begins to boo viciously and both fighters look towards the entrance as Marco Cruze, Rain Singh and Venus appear on the ramp. Suddenly, Cailin Dillon steps between them and in front with a microphone. She looks out at the crowd and turns around, looking to them and holding a hand out.

Cailin Dillon: Wait. Let them finish.

Marco and Elite look pissed by this intrusion as the crowd responds in cheers and even Ambiance nods in approval as she stands up and grabs Meghan by the hair, hitting her with a stiff punch to the gut on the way back. Still, the trio are slowly inching down the ramp as they watch. A gutwrench powerbomb from Ambiance and she hooks the leg.

1…

2...

3! No way. She kicked out.


Tom Hartman: Things are getting interesting fast with all these women coming out from the back.

Dexter Finch: I think Meghan and Livvy need a divorce.

Ambiance runs a hand through her hair and then pulls Meghan back up. She tries to whip her, but she’s countered into a cobra clutch and now Ambiance is flailing her arms about. Meghan isn’t going for a submission though, lifting her high and slamming her for a Spinal Fusion. Ambiance holds her back as Meghan tries to shove her down for a pin, Ambiance rolls a shoulder way until Meghan kicks her in the back and she screams in pain. Meghan hauls her up and whips her, but Ambiance hits a swinging neckbreaker on the rebound and the crowd erupts as both women are on the mat and Ambiance is nursing her back.

Tom Hartman: It’s been hardly pretty and mostly chaotic. But Ambiance looks to be on the brink of retaining her title.

Ambiance waiting for Meghan to get up. Cross is wobbly as she stands and Amber takes advantage with the Mirror’s Edge. The crowd pops as she lays back against Meghan.

1…

2…

3!!!


Cordelia Stewart: Your winner and still EWS World Women’s Champion, Ambiance!!

Ambiance holds an arm in the air as Cailin interrupts on the microphone.

Cailin Dillon: Well I guess your 15 minutes of fame are up, Meghan. Hold on girls. I’ve got this.

Cailin drops the mic and makes her way towards the ring as the crowd begins to boo her heavily. She slides in the ring and looks down over Meghan before unleashing a vicious Eyes of Texas at Ambiance that hits her flush and makes her roll out of the ring. Livvy slides in and attacks Cailin, who hits the Texas Twister to take her out. Rain isn’t waiting anymore as she gives chase towards Ambiance and Venus starts walking that way as well. Taylor Grace comes jumping out of the crowd and skips across the announce table before slamming Venus into the ground with a flying clothesline.

Tom Hartman: We can’t have a women’s match end without total chaos anymore. And Taylor Grace and Venus appear to be hunting each other.

Dexter Finch: All these ladies together Tom. Embrace it.

Ambiance slides back into the ring from Rain and Singh slides right in behind her. Cailin and Rain stand on one side and Ambiance and Livvy on the other. Venus and Taylor are trading punches on the outside. While Livvy looks like she is going to jump into the fray with Ambiance, but instead she bails to check on Meghan, allowing Cailin and Rain to jump Ambiance and beat her down. Meanwhile, Meghan slaps away Livvy's hand when Livvy tries to help her up and tells her to get the hell away from her as she stomps off in utter frustration while in the ring, Rain argues towards Cailin, saying that she doesn't trust her, but Cailin simply smirks and walks off, leaving the carnage in and around the ring.


_____________________________
***SCENE FADES TO BACKSTAGE***
_____________________________


We open in the catering area of the arena, where folding chairs have been set up. There, sitting are DDV, not far from Ricky Diamond and Jim The Sasquatch, and The Billy Way. Leaning against the wall, watching the proceedings, is Sentinel. There, before us, clad in attire seemingly stolen off the set of Braveheart, complete with the all too familiar face paint, is “The Kumquat Kid” Ryan Lewis. Next to him, holding a flag with a single kumquat printed on it, is Little Quat. Ryan begins walking the floor, speaking to his comrades with a thick, and very fake, Scottish accent.

Kumquat Kid: “Sons of Rage, I am Ryan Lewis.”

The Billy Way: “Ryan Lewis is 7 feet tall..and downright sexy I might add.”

Kumquat Kid: “Um, yeah. So I heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he’d consume the Gentlefarts Of Fortune Cookies with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.”

Ryan breaks his accent for a moment.

Kumquat Kid: “Which by the way, was a TERRIBLE rumor started by Dunk one night after we ate too much at the late night taco bar. Oh sure, I ate some spicy stuff, but I certainly didn’t shoot fireballs out of my eyes or had bolts of lightning out of my butt. My eyes did water, and I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, but still, disregard those rumors, um, sons of Rage.”

DDV sighs as Jim The Sasquatch says something inaudible. Ryan nods.

Kumquat Kid: “Aye, Jim, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live, for a little while.”

Suddenly we hear the following…

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY, LET’S GIVE THE BOY A HAAAAAND. Of course, this is a ringtone on Ricky Diamond’s cellphone. Everyone turns to him, as he blushes a bit.

Ricky Diamond: “What? It’s a great movie!”

Ricky answers the phone and tries to talk in private.

Ricky Diamond: “Listen, now isn’t a good time ok? Yes, I know he’s talking Scottish for no reason. No I don’t know if this is on a test. We’ll talk later, ok?”

We suddenly realize Ricky Diamond was carrying on a conversation..with Little Quat. Ryan clears his throat.

Kumquat Kid: “And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, to come back here and tell our enemies-“

Ryan rummages around in his kilt, which seems to be turning on The Billy Way. He pulls out a plastic knife.

Kumquat Kid: “That they may take our knives, but they’ll never take-“

Ryan reveals another utensil, yelling out as loud as he can.

Kumquat Kid: “OUR SPORKS!!!”

Even Sentinel has his hand over his face, maybe to hide the laughter, or perhaps the embarrassment. Suddenly a loud and very obnoxious clap is heard. Enter Leonard Luv, along with his bodyguard, Brutus. Luv has the Rage Title slung over his right shoulder, looking with amusement at the group from under a pair of amber wrap around shades.

Leonard Luv: “Man, bravo, BRAVO! What can I say? I was so moved by what I just saw, I might just have to go around back and puke my guts out! So touching!”

Sentinel moves to get into the face of Luv, who just smirks as Brutus enters the frame.

Leonard Luv: “Man, Sean, do you brush your teeth anymore, or is that not allowed in that emo fantasyland you live in?”

Luv struts around the room, trying to contain his laughter.

Leonard Luv: “So this is it, huh? This is the group of untalented, overrated buffoons who are going to take down The Gentlemen Of Fortune and the greatest champion in the history of this company, yours truly? Wow, I’m scared. Really scared. No, that’s just indigestion.”

Luv continues walking.

Leonard Luv: “I mean just look at this motley crew, huh? We’ve got a guy giving inspirational speeches about knives and sporks, a useless midget, an even more useless sasquatch, and a guy who’s only talent is acting like a 7 year old and having one of the ugliest beards in the history of mankind-“

Ricky Diamond: “Hey man, lay off the beard!”

Leonard Luv: “As I was saying. We’ve got a guy who is probably a sex offender in 48 of the 50 states, and then there’s DDV, a guy with all the talent in the world, and yet will ALWAYS play second fiddle to that overrated hackjob, that egotistical bastard, Magnum Wolf. That’s got to suck, doesn’t it Danny? But then again, you do know a thing or two about sucking.”

DDV is seething as Luv returns back over to Sentinel.

Leonard Luv: “And, if that’s not bad enough, the guy leading the charge is a guy who every time he steps into the ring with me, gets humiliated in front of the world. Why haven’t you gone home, Sean? No one wants you here. You’re pathetic, you’re a loser, and now what? You go and form a super group of losers?”

Sentinel: “Put that title on the line, we’ll see who the loser is.”

Leonard Luv: “Yawn, yawn, double yawn. Haven’t you got the hint yet? Has the memo arrived in your head, Sean? You’re what we call a transitional champion. You were just there to hold onto this until someone FAR more capable arrived to take it from you, and I did. Our story is over. But I do have a bit of advice for you and your little cavalcade of freaks.”

Luv smirks and looks around the room one last time.

Leonard Luv: “Good luck, because by the looks of things, you’re going to need it.”

Luv laughs and struts off, Brutus right beside him as Sentinel is left fuming. Ricky Diamond chimes in.

Ricky Diamond: “You sure none of this is going to be on a test?”

_____________________________
***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
_____________________________



MAIN EVENT –
Southern Comfort vs. The Gentlemen of Fortune (James Galleon and Charles Williams)
_____________________________


“Requiem” by Motzart starts as the lights dim and gold and silver lights float around every inch of the arena. Out walks James Galleon and Charles Williams, followed by their comrades, Deacon Black, Komodo.... and now Ambrose Ulysses Beauregarde his wif Miss Jessie Rae and his butler Freeman. The faction looks very imposing as all the people (save for Freeman dn Komodo) give smug smiles to the booing crowd and walk down to the ring with Galleon and Williams taking up position in the ring.

Tom Hartman: Well it would appear that the business talk from earlier between the Gentlemen of Fortune and Mr. Beauregarde went through successfully as this faction appears to be growing more and more dangerous as their numbers do.

Dexter Finch: So the Gentlemen of Fortune have Colonel Sanders? Maybe I should join the Gentlemen of Fortune because fried chicken is the best fortune I could ever ask for! Seriously, that's what I'd spend a million dollars on if I win the lottery!

The iconic banjo from deliverance picks twice before:

“REACH FOR THE SKY BOY!”

Followed by two gun shots, before Lynyrd Skynyrd & Kid Rock's remix of "Gimmie Back My Bullets" kicks in. Southern Comfort steps through the curtains onto the ramp. The brothers wear their trademark Confederate zip up hoodies that zip all the way up over their heads. Jackson steps in front of his brother and takes a knee, stretching his arms out as Austyn stands behind him, holding up the confederate flag tied around his neck. Jackson returns to his feet and both brothers raise their arms before heading down to the ring. The brothers slide into the ring and take station on separate corners un-zipping their hoodies to reveal their faces. Jackson again stretches his arms wide as Austyn repeats the flag pose on the opposite ropes.

The Hughes brothers fearlessly step forth into the ring as it is surrounded on all sides by members of the Gentlemen of Fortune and Galleon and Williams stand in the center of the ring delivering very regal insults that causes Austyn to get right up to Galleon as he spits in his face! All of the Gentlemen of Fortune stable is looking so insulted by this that they start climbing into the ring to take out Southern Comfort when....

“Pay For This” by Gemini Syndrome hits, and out walks Sentinel to a HUGE pop.... but he isn't alone! Following him are The Kumquat Kid (still in Braveheart paint), DDV, Acer Stone, Ricardo Diamondo, Jim the Sasquatch, Billy Way and Brandon Laux (the latter two being more occupied with their own agendas)! KK unleashes a battle cry and the Rage roster begins to surround the ring, pushing the Gentlemen of Fortune onto the far side alone and cutting the outside area in half.


Dexter Finch: Look at all these guys! I suppose they all heard that the Kumquat guy has such bad gas that he shoots fireballs from his eyes and lightning from his arse!

Tom Hartman: As if things couldn't get crazier for this match, now much of the Rage locker room has emptied to make sure the Gentlemen of Fortune don't get involved in this match! Let me remind everyone that this IS NOT a lumberjack match!

“HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE....

Dexter Finch: Oh boy....

PUT A LITTLE LUV IN IT!”

Everyone's attention turns to the stage to see the cocky smile of the Rage Superstar champion Leonard Luv as he walks his way down to the ring accompanied by Inga Lovegood and his bodyguard Brutus, the latter carrying a chair. Luv looks around and everybody stares as him as he stands on the stage, just wondering what he is going to do... and then he orders Brutus to put the chair down, allowing Luv to sit with Inga on his lap at the top of the stage with Brutus standing guard.

Tom Hartman: What business does the Rage champion have down here? He isn't scheduled for a match tonight and as far as we know, he doesn't have any connections to anyone here at ringside.

Dexter Finch: Speaking of “connections”, I asked the Luv man once to hook me up with some of his lady friends and that meanie pushed me over and spit on me until I cried.... I don't like him very much.

Everybody looks to be somewhat paranoid at ringside as James Galleon and Charles Williams are leaning over the ropes discussing something with the rest of the Gentlemen of Fortune in relation to Luv being at ringside while the Rage locker room discusses what they should do about Luv being there as Luv just sits and revels in the stir he is causing by just sitting there and absolutely loving it. Eventually, Austyn and Jackson Hughes look at each other as the bell has clearly rung, but everyone is so distracted by all the developments at ringside that the brothers get a wicked look in their eyes and unleash a rowdy howl to the sky as they charge towards James Galleon and Charles Williams and dump both of them over the ropes to the outside of the ring at the feet of Deacon Black! Not only that, but the brothers run the ropes and both fly over the ropes at Galleon and Williams with a tandem corkscrew plancha! Everyone at ringside is stirring big time as each of the heels attempts to get in for an attack, but the referee is buzzing about, making sure that no one out of the 20 or so people at ringside interfere with the men in this match, leading tension to wave around the ringside area.

The Gentlemen of Fortune faction causes enough visual distractions for Southern Comfort by feinting attacks that Galleon takes advantage and rams Austyn's head into the steel steps while Williams pokes Jackson in the eyes and sprinboards right off the announce table with a stiff RVD style to the face of Jackson! Williams gets in some mounted punches as the Gentlemen of Fortune surround them and don't allow any of the Rage stars to get in to help so long as they are in GoF territory while Galleon rolls Austyn into the ring. Galleon hits some knee drops and then whips him into the lower right corner (GoF's corner), chopping the hell out of Austyn before dragging him out for a spinout neckbreaker, rolled into a fisherman suplex and rolled again into a held german suplex rolled into a fujiwara armbar as Galleon is doing a great job stringing together his moves. Meanwhile on the outside, Jackson manages to battle out of Williams assault and throws him down across the floor with a uranage slam! Jackson attempts to slide into the ring to help his brother- but no! The rest of the Gentlemen of Fortune faction stands in front of the ring apron, cutting off his route to the ring!


Tom Hartman: This just isn't right! Jackson is one of the men actually wrestling this match and the Gentlemen of Fortune are blocking his way from getting to his corner!

The Rage stars are already having enough of it as they start to push their way around ringside, clearly outnumbering the members of the GoF and forcing them to allow Jackson back into the ring, but the referee is so preoccupied with what is happening in GoF country over by the announce tables that he doesn't even notice that James Galleon has pulled some sort of chord out of his tights and wrapped it around Austyn's neck as he sits on his back and chokes the life out of him! Galleon tosses the chord out of the ring just before the referee turns around as DDV is up on the apron looking to disarm Galleon by force and the referee walks across the ring to repremand DDV this time for being on the apron, which allows the Gentlemen of Fortune to gang up and attack Jackson out by the announce tables before he can slide in! Komodo and Freeman stand guard on either side of the ring as the first line of defense, attacking anyone that gets close to them while Ambrose, Williams and even Jessie Rae (with her purse) attack Jackson and Deacon takes the opportunity while Komodo and Freeman are on either side of the ring launching attacks at anyone who moves in their direction to pull out a cellphone and utter the word, “NOW!” into it!

There is a stir in the crowd as down runs a couple men who jump the barricade and start brawling with the Rage stars on their side of the ring near the ramp- it is the Brutalion! Things continue to get even crazier 2 more men run out past Luv's crew from the ramp and join the fray- this set of reenforcements is the US Air Force! With four more units in play, Deacon gives the command from a microphone,


Deacon Black: Gentlemen of Fortune.... ATTACK!

Tom Hartman: OH MY GOD this is utter pandemonium! The referee needs to throw this match out, but if he does, who will win the spot into the tag match at Gateway to Stardom in a few weeks?

Dexter Finch: I don't know, but I don't know if there is even going to be enough of these guys left to make it to tomorrow morning.

The mother of all brawls ensue as on one side of the ring, The Brutalion can be seen brawling with DDV and the Kumquat Kid while the US Air Force is fighting with Ricardo Diamondo and Brandon Laux while Sentinel, Jim the Sasqatch, Acer Stone and Billy Way are now being overrun by Komodo, Freeman, Deacon Black, Ambrose, and even the purse weilding Jessie Rae (as it is supected there is a brick in the purse). Meanwhile, noboby has been paying attention to the match as Jackson somehow battles back out side the ring in his fight with Charles Williams and levels him with some red neck kung fu as he looks incredibly pissed now, throwing Williams over the spanish commentary table as he finally slides into the ring to help his brother who has been going back and forth with Galleon and ended up getting caught with In the Hall of the Mountain King (codebreaker) from a springboard moves into an ankle lock with a grapevine! Austyn looks like he is about ready to tap out when Jackson comes in for the save and starts fighting with Galleon, resulting in a big time double red neck kung fu from both the Hughes brothers! The referee is having such a hard time controling this that he is about to throw the match out, but Jackson stops him and tells him to not pay attention to what is happening outside the ring, only what is happening inside. It's then that Williams jumps Jackson from behind, going for a superman punch, but Jackson catches him and stumbles over the ropes, dumping Williams over the top rope onto a couple of the guys fighting on the outside almost by accident! Galleon again fights back in the meanwhile with Austyn and gets him in a reverse DDT position, looking for the Avalon Driver (rolling cutter), but then Jackson comes back and blasts him in the face with a superkick! Galleon goes down and the brothers set Galleon up, hitting the Southern Dis-Comfort (stardust/electric chair facebuster combo) in the midst of the chaos! The referee is in a panic as he gets down and immediately counts the pin from Austyn in the hopes that all this chaos will end!

… One

… Two

… Three!

Cordelia Stewart: Here are your winners, Southern-ahhh!

Cordelia has to duck away as group fight almost ends up catching her in it as well while the smug looking Leonard Luv whispers something to Inga with a look of satisfaction on his face as she now pulls out a cellphone and calls someone!

Tom Hartman: This fight is spilling everywhere and what's this?! It looks like Inga Lovegood is calling someone now!

Dexter Finch: WHAAATTT ISS GOOINNNG ONNNN!!!

All of a sudden the lights cut out on everyone!

Tom Hartman: WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW!!!???

The crowd is errupting in hysterical screaming as now yet another insane development has happened and when the lights return, the brawl has temporarily ceased on all sides of the ring as everyone surveys the damage, but the only one that appears to have been taken out..... is Sentinel! Sentinel is laying unconscious on the ground, somehow bleeding from the forehead!

Tom Hartman: Someone busted open Sentinel! Who the hell was that? Who did this?

Dexter Finch: Oh I love a good game of clue! I think it was Tom Hartman in the arena with a crowbar! Was I right Tom?

As everybody pauses for a second longer to figure out what is going on, eventually the Gentlemen of Fortune attack once again, leaving Southern Comfort, The Kumquat Kid, The Billy Way, Brandon Laux, Ricardo Diamondo, Jim the Sasquatch, Acer Stone and even DDV, who is exhaustedly the last of the Rage stars on his feet when the gang attack finally makes even him drop to the ground. The Gentlemen of Fortune (Deacon, Galleon, Williams, AUB, Komodo, Jessie Rae, Freeman, The Brutalion and The US Air Force) gather in the ring with the US Air Force and the Brutalion coming face to face, asking “ why the hell did they hire you?” while Deacon looks around and shouts, “who ordered that attack? Who summoned 'him'”? Tell me! I did not call for 'him' to attack!” and then “Requiem” begins to play again as the whole Gentlemen of Fortune faction looks to the stage to see the Rage champion Leonard Luv, who is standing up and offering a slow applaud with a slight grin on his face. Luv laughs as the camera gets one last glimpse of the carnage at ringside, the growing faction of the Gentlemen of Fortune and the Rage champion Leonard Luv as no one seems to know what his motives are as we close out the show and fade to black.


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