How do you decide?

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How do you decide?; price
Topic Started: Jul 18 2008, 04:21 AM (421 Views)
DearIP	Jul 18 2008, 04:21 AM Post #1
Advanced Member Posts: 132 Group: WIMs Member #39 Joined: June 6, 2008	How do you decide what comp you want to pay? Is it based on what you can afford, how much you want to make sure you pay, how much your chosen surrogate asks for, or as low of an amount as your surrogate will accept?



momto2cuties	Jul 18 2008, 04:58 AM Post #2
Advanced Member Posts: 558 Group: V.IP Member #78 Joined: July 1, 2008	For us it's based on what we can afford first. In all of our journeys our surrogate had an amount that they suggested and as long as that was an amount we could afford all was good. I completely understand the base compensation and want to give my surro what she needs there but the extras we have to compromise on.



extrachoc453	Jul 18 2008, 09:35 AM Post #3
Advanced Member Posts: 452 Group: V.IP Member #7 Joined: May 23, 2008	How we decided was a direct result of what we knew we could resonably pay, with hard work and cutting our life style in half, We have what we have.... that is the basics of why we have the budget we do, we do now have a family member that will help us if we really need it, but that is not something we will ask for unless it is an emergency....



abfree	Jul 18 2008, 10:40 AM Post #4
Waiting patiently.... Posts: 129 Group: V.IP Member #9 Joined: May 23, 2008	I have said it before, and will again, I would pay any fee our surro desires, as she will deserve it. However, that is not feasible for us. It is simply not something we can do. Our lives are comfortable, we own our home (with no equity at this time :wacko: ), we have secure careers that afford us simple things, and we are blessed by some gifts from family. Our "paying fee" is simply based on what we can afford to pay. We must always look at the big picture, the what if's, the emergencies, etc. If for any reason, God forbid, something were to physically were happen to Brant and he become incapable of doing physical labor, his income stops almost immediately, and his career ends. So, we have to look at the picture with a big zoom and big wide lens!!! We hope some of our "payment" to our surro will be the investment of a lifetime between our families. If our journey should take a negative turn, I am a person that can overlook and overcome things for the better...hanging onto regret and resentment are emotionally tolling and am I am not willing to give in to those emotions, while the life of a child is at the center of the issue. I say this now, and I can hear many of you say..."you never know"...and you are right, I only know me and what all I have had to overcome in life and feel confident I can.



ShyShyButterfly	Jul 18 2008, 11:22 AM Post #5
Newbie Posts: 47 Group: Registered Member #101 Joined: July 14, 2008	abfree Jul 18 2008, 10:40 AM I have said it before, and will again, I would pay any fee our surro desires, as she will deserve it. However, that is not feasible for us. It is simply not something we can do. Our lives are comfortable, we own our home (with no equity at this time :wacko: ), we have secure careers that afford us simple things, and we are blessed by some gifts from family. Our "paying fee" is simply based on what we can afford to pay. We must always look at the big picture, the what if's, the emergencies, etc. If for any reason, God forbid, something were to physically were happen to Brant and he become incapable of doing physical labor, his income stops almost immediately, and his career ends. So, we have to look at the picture with a big zoom and big wide lens!!! We hope some of our "payment" to our surro will be the investment of a lifetime between our families. If our journey should take a negative turn, I am a person that can overlook and overcome things for the better...hanging onto regret and resentment are emotionally tolling and am I am not willing to give in to those emotions, while the life of a child is at the center of the issue. I say this now, and I can hear many of you say..."you never know"...and you are right, I only know me and what all I have had to overcome in life and feel confident I can. I just want to tell you that your surro will be very very lucky to have you as their IM.



FIM	Jul 18 2008, 11:41 AM Post #6
Newbie Posts: 13 Group: Registered Member #73 Joined: June 27, 2008	I think most IP's would say that having a child is priceless. What a surro gives you is priceless. But realistically it has to come down to what we can afford. :)



Jacy	Jul 20 2008, 06:45 PM Post #7
Jacy Posts: 1,178 Group: WIMs Member #8 Joined: May 23, 2008	1. What we can afford. 2. The extra's that we believe need to be there. 3. We would never want to enter an agreement that we couldn't handle. 4. The end is priceless but getting there is very expensive. A surro is a small part of the journey, especially when you need to use a donor egg as well.



sbr0819	Jul 20 2008, 10:54 PM Post #8
Advanced Member Posts: 463 Group: V.IP Member #46 Joined: June 8, 2008	It was a compromise, A came up with the amt, which was the amt she was paying for her DD's weekly daycare at the time since she said in a way she was 'babysitting' for us, it was an amt we could afford so that's what we went with for the weekly amt.



tiggermom	Aug 7 2008, 03:15 PM Post #9
Advanced Member Posts: 897 Group: WIMs Member #15 Joined: May 26, 2008	We have what we can afford and what extras (if any) we would agree too (again within the range we could afford). It is up to the surro to agree or say no. To me we didn't really feel the need to "low ball" (if that is the right wording) to negotiate, we said we have this much to work with. I don't like the coments of why should the surro take a lower comp when the drs & lawyers don't have too. That just shows immaturity and lack of unerstanding the real world on the surros part. They have practices that they need to maintain, staff that has to be paid, student loans and lots of overhead. I think a lot of REs do lower their fees on a case by case basis but that has no bearing on the surros comp. If the expenses are being paid then the base fee is a "bonus", it's not meant to support them as if it was a salary (although if that's what they want I could care less).


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