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AdamNW's Review of the Month: Bayonetta; "I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town"
Topic Started: Feb 12 2010, 01:07 AM (724 Views)
AdamNW
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Needs moar Sety

I want to be a professional video game critic after I graduate from college, so I decided to start reviewing games now to get the feel for it. Please comment



I haven’t had the chance to play the Devil May Cry series, but if Bayonetta is anything like it, I’ve clearly been missing out.

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Game: Bayonetta
Publisher: Sega
Rating: Mature
Platforms: Xbox 360, Playstation 3


Bayonetta is a hack-and-slash-style action game, most closely resembling the gameplay of Devil May Cry, which makes sense, as they are made by the same developer. Unlike DMC (and other games of this nature), however, the main protagonist is female, and she doesn’t hide it in the least.

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Bayonetta is the definition of femme fatale, and she isn’t afraid to show it.


The first thing you will notice in Bayonetta is its sexual content. Let’s face it; there is more innuendo in this game than Gilbert Gottfried’s stand up routine. This isn’t a bad thing, however. When it starts becoming over the top is when the comic relief begins to set in, which is a good thing, given the game’s less-than-stellar story. Of course, you won’t enjoy this very much if you take offense to (or ignore) sexual themes in video games. The presentation of the game relies on your libido to be enjoyed outside of the combat this game had done so well.

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Is it just me, or did my pants just get tighter?


Bayonetta runs very smoothly, vary rarely dropping frame rate, even in the presence of a large amount of enemies. The combat itself is extremely fluid and satisfying. The combo system allows for combos to be pulled off easily, but deciding which combo to use in each situation is the key part of this game. This is the first game of it’s genre in which I haven’t been able to use the “Press X to win” tactic effectively. This allows newcomers to drop in easily, and more experienced players to keep coming back. Simple, yet engaging. When in combat, you have to be aware of many things at one time. Slipping up even once on normal will result in your death fairly quickly, but narrowly avoiding danger will be rewarded by activating “Witch Time,” when time slows down around Bayonetta. This will quickly turn a losing battle around, and adds to the climatic feel the game’s combat presents.

This leads me to one of the game’s major flaws; the difficulty. It’s not too hard or too easy when playing on Normal, but when you get to the higher difficulties, you will definitely notice inconsistencies. For example, the Prologue chapter on Hard is easily harder than the entire first half of the game on Normal. But the first chapter is almost exactly alike on both difficulties, save for the enemies being a tad harder to kill. I haven’t even attempted the game’s final difficulty, “Non-Stop Infinite Climax”, yet, but if Hard is already this staggered, I’m not totally looking forward to it.

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>Initiate combat
>Get raped by enemy combos
>Rage


Believe it or not, the alternate difficulties aren’t the main source of replayability in Bayonetta. The game features a wide variety of post-game content, such as new costumes and weapons, game-modding accessories (similar to skulls in Halo), and challenge battles for you to try out. Playing with a new weapon, or an attached accessory, dramatically changes the way the game plays, and allows a whole new experience without losing the core feel of the game. If that isn’t enough for you (but really, who doesn’t want to see Bayonetta in a skimpy cheerleader outfit?), the game also features a ranking system that gauges your mastery of the combat system, and how fast you are able to complete Verses (major battles within chapters). These features will keep you playing way past the fifteen-hour campaign run without a doubt.

Bayonetta featuers quite a few interesting and likable characters, which leaves me wondering why Sega chose to have such a clich� plot. You begin randomly killing enemies, and then realized around mid-game why they are fighting you. You then begin a quest to defeat the main antagonist just before he causes Armageddon. The game’s plot twists are done by what can only be considered God-Modding nonsense, but this game was never meant to be realistic to begin with. In addition, the entire cast is likable enough to make it not just bearable, but enjoyable to play though.

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She’s cute and all, but I want to kill things, not carry her around everywhere.


At the end of the day, you won’t remember Bayonetta for its story; you’ll remember it for the amazing gameplay this game has to offer. Bayonetta is easily the best game I’ve played in this genre, with its wide array of weapon combos, bonus features, and sheer fun. Not only has Sega delivered, it has surpassed anything and everything the publisher has released on a current gen console. Look forward to more Bayonetta, sex, guns, and all, in the coming years, as she isn’t going away for a while.

tl;dr version:
+Incredibly tight gameplay. The best I have experienced from this genre.
+Sexual themes in the game are comical and highly enjoyable
+The supporting cast makes the overall story enjoyable, despite its shortcomings
-Inconsistent difficulty is bound to anger more than a few gamers
-The story is strange and convoluted

Overall Score: 9/10
Edited by AdamNW, Feb 18 2010, 07:24 PM.
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Formerly: Sety
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Kalamadorel
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Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

This seems pretty awesome man, I assume that you're gonna start doing this every month from now on. What game do you plan on doing next weekend?
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AdamNW
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Mass Effect 2, most likely. It's the most fresh in my mind.
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Kalamadorel
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Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

I really like the comment next to the images did you write those yourselves? ME2 sounds like something good to review. Like I said before this seems really awesome, I can't wait to see more.
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AdamNW
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Needs moar Sety

Yeah. Everything is my own material except for the quote in the topic, and the pictures themselves.
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Kalamadorel
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Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

Fair enough, I found the comments particularly funny. Have you got any more stuff that you've done or is this the first?
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AdamNW
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Needs moar Sety

I've reviewed Sonic Unleashed and Resident Evil 5, but I changed my opinions massively on both of them so I won't bother posting them here.
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Kalamadorel
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Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

You reviewed them well then disliked them or Vice Versa? I'd still be up for reading them even if you no longer like your opinion.
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Light Yagami
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Bayonetta> Devil May Cry. You're not missing much.

The only thing that bug me is how small everything is on certain TVs and how small her head is compared to her not-fat-but-big body
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Kalamadorel
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Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

She has the strangest proportions ever I swear. If you enjoyed Bayonetta I would say that DMC is definitely worth playing.
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Light Yagami
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As dog as a Fetch

Mmm I think it goes the other way around. It'd be like going from "awesome! boobs!" to "meh"

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Kalamadorel
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Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

I prefer the combat system in Bayonetta but the storyline in DMC especially 3, that game was so awesome.
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Soja
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Gentle Water, Crashing Waves

Good review. My biggest grief with Bayonetta is how strange her proportions are. It's like... a 12-heads high scale or something. Her head is tiny, her limbs are long and spindly, and her boobs and ass are huge. It looks too odd to me.

But anyway, obligatory "Sarah Palin" comment here.
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Mirar on Sep 8 2007
06:08 PM
nigga please
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-HJ-
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I've failed to come up with something witty, so I hope you will enjoy this filler text instead.

Light Yagami
Feb 12 2010, 03:36 AM
Bayonetta> Devil May Cry. You're not missing much.

The only thing that bug me is how small everything is on certain TVs and how small her head is compared to her not-fat-but-big body
It's more like Bayonetta = DMC unless you're a horny weaboo teen with a giraffe fetish.
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Light Yagami
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I think the combat system in Bayonetta is better and much more pertyfull to look at than DMC. Both story lines are redonculous so I'm going off of the fun factor in both. Bayonetta has more replay value than DMC, IMO. Especially more so than DMC4.
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