- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Weddings ? Changed or Not; Rude or is it me . | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 12 2009, 07:16 AM (258 Views) | |
| conor2 | Nov 12 2009, 07:16 AM Post #1 |
|
gort
|
I struggled to know what to call this thread . So i'll start from the begining . have Weddings changed that much over the years , and is our invatation rude , or is this the way it is done now adays and its just me being old fashioned . Right , this morning i awoke to a wedding invatation . my wifes cousin and her partner are getting married in Febuary . Ah , thats nice i thought her cousin is a nice girl , so was looking forward to it . Ah , but NO . gone are the days of the little white invatation , and the RSVP ...It was like a little package . With a Itinerary , of the days events . Well thats cool , iam still up for it . But heres the things that worries me . is this rude , or is it me ..?? Theres a letter in it and i'll quote it word for word ...under the HEADING of GIFTS .. and i quote " we already have most things that we need to begin our lives as husband and wife .We would most appreciate gifts of Harvey Norman vouchers or cash . We understand that not everone likes to give vouchers or cash , so we have taken the time to select some choise items from a couple of our favourite NZ-wide stores (register cards enclosed ) ." First of all Harvey Norman is a massive shop , sells 3-piece siuts , kitchen gear, bedroom stuff and outdoor funiture .tvs/steroes etc . And the cards they talk of , you take it to said shop , and they give you a list of things the couple would like . Now if you ask me , thats a bit naughty . When we got married , we where happy just to have the people there , presents where just a extra , as me and my wife had most things as well . I would never ever have it me to ask for cash or vouchers . Is this normal ? or am i being old fashioned . I asked a mate today , and he said he has heard of this sort of thing to . Its a first for me .have weddings changed that much that people are asking for certain gifts ? |
![]() |
|
| anniebach | Nov 12 2009, 08:31 AM Post #2 |
|
suil
|
That's the way things are done these days over here Mal...most couples have wedding lists at various stores....if I remember rightly Harvey Norman is a great store too :D I did have friends who got married not so long ago and they actually asked for donations to various charities as they already had everything they wanted, think that is much better idea personally. |
![]() |
|
| CURIOSITY | Nov 12 2009, 08:56 AM Post #3 |
|
muin
|
People I know issue wedding lists or loge a list at a particular store. From experience what is on the lists can be very expensive and when you get to see it everything is mega expensive. Some people break it down into smaller items ef 2 glasses or a particular design rather than 6, similaly with pots and pans. Vouchers for a shop is a sensible option - saves you the hassle of going shopping but it is a bit bland. I have heard of people requesting vouchers for travel companies to pay for the honeymoon! I usually do my own thing - recently everyone has had a silver picture frame and a roling pin! |
![]() |
|
| conor2 | Nov 12 2009, 09:04 AM Post #4 |
|
gort
|
Now that IMHO is a great idea . |
![]() |
|
| kate | Nov 12 2009, 09:17 AM Post #5 |
|
muin
|
Yes, I think it is rude and presumtious (sp). The last wedding I went to ( 3 months ago) didn't have a list and I did give them store vouchers. Previous weddings, I've ignored the list and, like curiosity done my own thing......photo frames are always a good idea. If I'm thought of as a grumpy non-conformist old git I don't really care. :D |
![]() |
|
| firth | Nov 12 2009, 03:07 PM Post #6 |
|
Admin
|
I too have had invites with gift-lists lodged at stores, but I tend to ignore them and either send a cheque if I know they are hard-up, or give a gift of my choosing. I know the gift list is practical, and I think understandable for young couples just starting off and needing household stuff, and I know a lot of folk like it as they have fewer problems chosing things, BUT I don't personally have to like it. I think if people don't actually need stuff, the charity idea is a good one. Re paying for travel vouchers, that is a nice idea if the couple, for example, now live in NZ but are from Scotland and want to travel back there for their honeymoon. I'd go along with that, no problem. That's a huge expense for them. Everyone did that for a friend's 40th, a few years back. He's a French sheep-farmer and his dream was to visit new Zealand. Unfortunately they didn't get enough for the trip, and then a new baby came on the scene, but they came to Scotland instead, and had a great time. :P |
![]() |
|
| RC | Nov 12 2009, 04:07 PM Post #7 |
|
ruis
|
I think if the list contains many lower priced items, I personally think it is a reasonably good idea. I don't think anyone should have to pick from the list though! I would not have done a list, because I do think it is quite rude and although it stops you from owning 100 electric knives, part of the fun of the whole wedding thing is getting surprises! I have some lovely bits and pieces that I got as wedding presents and things I would not have got had I put a list into M&S! My nephew is getting married in about 18 months or so. Their parents are paying £55 a head for the guests!! I couldn't believe it. The photographer is coming in at almost £3,000!! And to have supper at the dance they have to pay an extra £8 per head!! They have decided to ditch the idea of handing out favours and are doing something through Marie Curie in that you give them the money as a donation and they will send you small pins to give to your guests. I thought that was quite nice....when I suggested charity wedding gifts, I almost got my head bitten off......their list will be in John Lewis'! I guess I should start saving now!! |
![]() |
|
| CURIOSITY | Nov 12 2009, 05:47 PM Post #8 |
|
muin
|
I often think people spend too much on weddings and concentrate on things that are irrelevent. Do you actually need a huge expensive reception or would something simpler fit the bill and have a good party. I personally like the idea of a good old fashioned bun feast with simple food which you know everyone will eat and enjoy - I went to a wedding like that and it was great fun, more informal and you didn't have to worry about having everything matching. I'm not so sure about marrying abroad as your guests might not be able to afford it - go off on your own if you must but don't put a financial burdon on others also if oldies have to travel it might be a problem for them and they may have to miss the wedding. I had an aunt who missed her daughters wedding like that but then had to pay for a hug party back in England and a church blessing! |
![]() |
|
| FOTW | Nov 12 2009, 07:47 PM Post #9 |
|
muin
|
Cheap and cheerful is the way to go - its not the wedding that matters but the marriage - to me anyway. |
![]() |
|
| Laird willie h | Nov 13 2009, 05:24 AM Post #10 |
|
Gael
|
Yes Flower I agree with you . The marriage is what counts . Liz and I have been married for 30 years now . We couldn't afford much and Liz's mum and dad and my parents and our other relations helped out as much as possible . We were just so happy to be together and have beenr the last 30 years . Oh Liz how on earth did you put up with me for so long . rc , our daughter has been married for around 7 years now and the whole wedding including dresses cost around £3.000 and that was for 35 guests at meal in the Sword Hotel at the bottom of Wallace monument and then the reception at night for over 100 guests and buffet . Good topic Mal . I think couples are now getting really selfish now by getting married abroad . Ok if it's just themselves and maybe a reception at home after it but to expect guests to go to say The Bahamas for a wedding is really really selfish . I too had friends who were staying together for years before they were married . They had a reception in Alloa Town Hall and it was a collection for Strathcarron Hospice . I think they got £5,000 for it . |
![]() |
|
| RC | Nov 13 2009, 09:45 AM Post #11 |
|
ruis
|
I have actually done cheap and cheerful and also the full thing. I married my first husband in Willie's Cathedral. It was a lovely day, with lots of guests, beautiful wedding dress and the best meal that the finest hotel could offer. The only thing missing was a connection between the bride and groom. He was about 7 years older than me, and just wanted a wife, who was young, had a decent job and a bit of life about her. The marriage lasted 2 years, but I still have one of the 100 electric knives we got as pressies!! rofl I met the current Mr RC, and we had a registery office wedding, with just our immediate family. A quiet meal with loved ones was so special, we really enjoyed it. The strange thing is we were given some lovely presents from friends and family who were not at our wee day. We spent more on a lovely honeymoon in Paris, which will live with me forever! :wub: |
![]() |
|
| CURIOSITY | Nov 13 2009, 10:57 AM Post #12 |
|
muin
|
Sometimes I think it is the big romance thing of the wedding - by that I mean perfect dress, matching serviettes to table flowers, birdesmaid sashes the perfect shade, cream roses not off white etc etc which take on major importance and the day will be ruined if anything is wrong that gets in the way of why people are getting married! |
![]() |
|
| Laurie | Nov 13 2009, 01:20 PM Post #13 |
|
nuin
|
I guess there are those people who spend half their lives planning their wedding day. We went with my in-laws to a wedding for their friends daughter-the whole deal was rumored to cost $30,000!! And they only stayed married for a year! Should have been good for at least 5! rofl Mark and I were married in a church, but then we went to my aunts and had the reception in her rather smallish backyard (music courtesy of a boombox and a stack of tapes! I tell people that Huey Lewis played at our reception!). My sisters and cousin had lovely tans from being at the beach the day before. Poor Mark was painting my aunt's fence and I was making fruit salad the day before and we look as pale as ghosts in all the pictures! :P I kind of like having a list to choose from if there are some things that aren't too expensive. I'm terrible at picking out gifts for people. Edited by Laurie, Nov 13 2009, 01:21 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| conor2 | Nov 15 2009, 02:26 AM Post #14 |
|
gort
|
I talked to a mate at work about the "List" , and he said that what he did , as they had most things . But what he did mention was , and i know this , is that the bride and groom pay for the whole day , Food , Entertainment , and Drinks . iam not sure about the UK or the USA (Laurie) but here all the alcohol at the reception is put on by the bride and groom . So that can be a massive bill . Thousands of dollars . I think the cost of some peoples weddings gets out of hand . My wedding was quite cheap , we got married in a registrar here . I thought my wife would want a big wedding . But she just wanted a quiet family one .No fuss . After the wedding vows , we went to a lovely resturant , as we picked up the tab , people eat and drank what they wanted . Then about a month later we went to a friends wedding here , and my mother-in-law said to my wife , wouldnt you have liked all this church stuff etc . My wife said NO , look at the stress her friend was going through , and that it was a waste of money . IMHO , i dont think it a waste of money , but as RC has said , 3-000 pounds for a photographer .?? how can they justify that ? |
![]() |
|
| conor2 | Nov 15 2009, 02:32 AM Post #15 |
|
gort
|
Just one thing i forgot to say . As there are many beautiful large gardens , and beaches here . A lot of people have started to have weddings there , so they dont have the cost of a church .And iam led to believe the Justice of the Piece doesnt cost much to do the vows . |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · General Chit Chat · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2






12:48 AM Jul 11