| A Letter, Unsent; To Cassius Reed | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 4 2017, 10:04 PM (182 Views) | |
| BiancaReed | Sep 4 2017, 10:04 PM Post #1 |
![]()
|
September 4, 2017 Dear Cassius, I fucked up. But I mean honestly, tweeting a Barbie girl gif in response to Melody talking about glitter wallpaper? Not the worst thing I could’ve done, and not actually a comment on your relationship or the fact that I think she’s a conniving little snake. I don’t trust her, and I don’t like her, but I’ve kept my mouth shut for months about it. So was that subtweet a mistake? Yeah, I’ll admit it, and I’m sorry. But instead of looking at context, or even fucking asking me what was up, you decided I broke my promise and that you were gonna cut me out of your life without even a second thought. And thanks for telling me that I should’ve stayed a dirty little secret, that was really fucking appreciated. It’s no secret we’ve never gotten to know each other well. I bonded with Aries and Darius right away but you? You were always this enigma, this guy that I couldn’t get close to no matter what I tried. And so I stopped trying. It was easier to stay at arm’s length, since that’s where you seemed to want me. But no matter what, I was proud to call you my brother. Same with Aries and Darius. I don’t have a great relationship with my mom’s other kids, so when I found out about you guys? I wanted to know all about you. I must’ve asked Darius a million questions about you all, about what you were like. I wanted to know your story, possibly because it was the one thing my mother never wanted me to find out. I knew my father’s name, but that was it. My mother never told me anything about him - and knowing what I do now, I kind of get why that was. She didn’t want me to know that she’d slept with a married man and that he’d left her broke, pregnant, and alone. I don’t know if she knew about you guys, but that doesn’t matter now. When I got that first letter from Darius in prison, I didn’t know what to believe. I was… not at the greatest place in my life, I’ll be honest. I’d quit dancing, I was training in wrestling, I was couch-surfing because I kicked myself out of my house, and I was going to school for cosmetology. My mom forwarded me the letter, and I reached out to Darius. Look, I can’t help how I was born. I didn’t get a choice in being the bastard daughter of a drug addicted stereotype of a black father. But you got a choice in how you treated me. And since you found out about me, it’s been a situation where technically I’m your sister, but I ain’t family. Whatever I did to make you hate me, Cass, I’m sorry for it. I’m sorry that I’m a living, breathing reminder that Matthew Reed was always a shithead. I’m sorry I stuck my nose in your business and I’m sorry that I date people that you don’t like. I don’t even know why I’m apologizing. You won’t read this. I don’t know if I’ll ever send it. I don’t want to, because I don’t think you’ll actually read it. On the other hand I want to because I never got a chance to tell my father how I feel. I never got that closure. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you. I don’t want to be without one of my brothers. One of these days I’m gonna get married, and I want you to be there. I want to build the family that I never had growing up. I want my kids to know their uncles and aunts and cousins, and I don’t want there to be this hole in my life where you should be. And yet, you threw me out of your life so quickly it feels like you were just waiting on an excuse to do it. And the fact that you could just toss me aside so easily has me sick to my stomach, for reasons I don’t want to get into here. I’m sorry, Cassius. I love you, and I’m sorry. Your sister, Bianca Allen (Reed) |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| « Previous Topic · Solo Work · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
2:27 PM Jul 11
|
Hosted for free by ZetaBoards · Privacy Policy








2:27 PM Jul 11