| of crow and crown #1; Foundation | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2017, 01:55 PM (116 Views) | |
| Wadjethotep | Sep 18 2017, 01:55 PM Post #1 |
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It was a cool crisp morning as he stepped out onto the balcony. He walked all the way to the edge and leaned on the railing. This is where he had to be right now. Just to stop for a moment and try to remember exactly who he was supposed to be. As soon as the show was over last night he had the flight ready to take him from Helsinki to Saint Petersburg. Irkutsk was too far. It would have been pointless. So instead he came here. It was always a funny feeling when he had passed the border. As if all the pressure on his shoulders had just dissipated. In all reality it was still there waiting for him when he crossed the border back. He leaned over the balcony and looked down at the Neva as it flowed. His win last night filled him with some confidence. Storm was a good wrestler. It also gave him a lead in their best of 5 series. Something that he desperately needed to win. If he lost the whole thing how could he explain that? Just say he dropped the ball and move on? It was becoming harder and harder to do that. Moving on was never a forte. Living in the past was just living at this point. Starting at masks remembering what it felt like to be successful. At 24 a life shouldn't be built on memories. Instead on futures. Bright ones at that. But where did he stand? It had almost reached broken record point the way he was doubting himself. There likely laid the problem itself. With no self confidence how was he even supposed to succeed? Things in NKP we're going good. In HELL he was doing alright. In Rocky Mountain Pro he was the number one contender. All of these things looked great on paper. Until you got to HKW or SAP. Winless. Still winless. When he signed he was sure that he was going to blow up out of the gate. So sure he called his shot right from the beginning. The next world champion. He swore when they announced they were going to Japan that he would be in a feature match. His name wasn't even on the card. The disgust he had for himself was so heavy he couldn't even go to the show. Now time time came though. His first HKW pay-per-view. The opener. That didn't bother him. Not at all. Means he gets to set the tone of the show. That it's his job to try and make sure that everyone who comes after him has to live up to the same intensity. Then he saw it. Handicap match. It tore at him. What exactly were they trying to say? That he wasn't good enough to face Raven alone? It doesn't matter who it is that he's across the ring from he can hang with the best to ever do it. He doesn't need a handout. No matter how much of a legend Raven is supposed to be, El Corneja would be just fine. There was a laugh and he was surprised when he realized that it came from his own lips. He stared down at the water. The only time confidence seemed to show up was when the anger did. They seemed to go hand in hand. Now if that could be channeled with focus things might actually change. The only positive out of this was teaming with Jackson. Ty genuinely liked him and knew he was someone he could rely on if a situation called for it. Though this was a time neither was happy with the situation. The thought had crossed his mind that maybe this was supposed to be Jackson versus James. Then after the match with Miguel that they didn't want to just send him out there alone. The thought that he was no more than filler just to make sure Jackson didn't really get hurt out there. That bothered him. The fact it was a lose lose situation bothered him. If they win it's because there was two of them. They're supposed to win. If they lose they lost to one guy when there was two of us. It made his head spin. But this was supposed to be the place where that didn't happen. This was home and it had been awhile since he had been here. Last time he was here it was for the Confederations Cup in June right before his first match with HKW. He was so hopeful. Now he was just becoming bitter. Goron: What's that face for? Ty could hear his hulking steps before he even got to him. He could call back to a time when he had more stealth to him. Though the times for that had passed. Ty: Just thinking. Goron: That’s the problem. You think too much. It was a truthful statement but he hardly thought it was detrimental. At least not all the time. He turned his body to face the giant frame of his long time friend as he came approaching with two cups from Starbucks and a bag that he assumed were full of syrniki from a place down the block. He placed them on the small table to the left of Ty. Ty: You say it like it's a bad thing to think. Goron raised an eyebrow as he returned a gaze at him. Goron: For most people it ok. For you? Not so much. Goron’s Russian was better than his English but neither of them were perfect. It was why they always communicated better through looks. Ty: Thanks for the vote of confidence. The sarcasm was quite heavy. Goron: You don't have confidence. The sentence stopped him in his tracks. Not because Goron didn't get the sarcasm but because of how sternly and quickly he said it. Ty: What do you mean? Goron: Ever since you tried to kill yourself there is no confidence. Ty took a seat. He could feel himself slumping into it as he grabbed his cup and took a sip. Goron turned the bag on its side and tore it open. The giant took a few syrniki and sat down. Ty: What do you mean? It took confidence to go back to wrestling. Goron: Maybe a little. Not much. It's the only thing you know to do. What else would you do? Nothing. That was the legitimate answer. Wrestling was the only thing he’d ever done. Maybe he would still be at RISE training or maybe open up a BJJ school. It was hard to think of anything different. His entire life had been spent around wrestling. From backyards to world famous arenas. This was it. Ty: I'm sure I would find something. Goron: No. You do this till they stop hiring you. Then you walk around sad when you don't get results when you not try. Ty almost felt insulted after that one. Ty: What would make you say I'm not trying? I'm still winning matches? Goron: Any big ones? You've been back what 6 month? Maybe more maybe less. All you been is whipping boy. You win some matches because you're good. Your good still better than some best so you win. You go through motions. You once was great. Now you shell. The words hurt. They genuinely did. But maybe there was truth there. Had he really been trying? Part of him had been so caught up in just trying to get back what he was as Prince Wadjethotep that he never really stopped to think that Wadjethotep didn't really exist anymore. There would always be a part of him that was him. The part that won world titles. That was always constantly driving to be the best. That was Ty, that was never the mask. The mask was the confidence. As soon as it came off the losses seemed to be as equal as the wins. It was just so hard to believe in himself. Goron: Believe in skill. The words were barely audible between the smacking of the pancakes as he spoke while his mouth was full. Still it was as if he was reading his mind. Maybe he didn't necessarily have to believe in everything yet. It would be a work in progress. But there was no denying his skill. The title runs were legit. The traveling the world to make people know his name was legit. The time of being a prince had come and gone. Now it was the time to become the king. Ty: Maybe you're right. Goron: I am. Ty just let out a small laugh while Goron continued to stuff himself and drink his coffee. Ty: I'm glad I came now. Goron: Russia is good to us. Make us rich and healthy. At same time can make us lose drive if not careful. Complacency was the enemy of growth. It was one of the worst things that could to anyone but yet it was so commonplace. At some point everyone was guilty of it in someway. Had he just become complacent with how his life was? It was almost hard to believe. Mostly because of the misery that was felt all the time. Maybe that's what he was complacent with. The overall somber tone that had overtaken his life. It had consumed him. Wrestling used to be the escape. Now that had fallen too. Ty: I think I lost the drive. Goron: Not lost. Just hiding. Maybe that was true. Deep down he still had the fighting spirit. A spirit that didn't escape when the mask came off or bleed into the ground up on that hill. Now he just had to find out how to get it back. Goron could tell by looking at him that he was getting lost in his thoughts but not in a bad way. He bit the inside of his lower lip when he was thinking about things that hurt him or if he was having some kind of flashback. Goron just continued to eat, he wasn't going to let it go to waste. Ty sat there wondering how he would start getting things back in order. A wise friend of his once told him to “keep pushing anyway” whenever he felt like he was stuck. That it was the only way to get through it. He had stopped pushing, instead just sitting off to the side. Now it was time to stand up again. Time to push. He slowly felt himself coming back to reality. Ty: So what do you suggest I do? Goron: Stop hiding. Live. They always sounded like simple words to everyone else. Ty always looked at it as he always knew what he was trying to say. Or maybe it was his inherit ability to look deeper into things than they probably meant. For him it was taken as stop hiding inside his homes. Inbetween matches all he does is stay inside. Away from a world that hasn't done him many favors. That it was time to get back out there and try. Maybe it was time. If he wanted to succeed in wrestling he might have to try and succeed at living too. Ty stood back up and walked over to the railing. One more time he watched the river flow. Goron: What you think now? Ty turned his head back and let out a sigh. Ty: I think it's time that I take the Rocky Mountain Pro title. I beat Mark Storm and then move on to some gold in NKP. Then for HKW, the goal is the same. I'm going to find my way to Fel and become the next world champ. As for SAP, I’m going to take care of those fools for good. I don't know how I'm going to do any of this. But I'm sure as shit going to try. Goron leaned back in the chair as he lit up a cigarette. He then let out a sly smile. Goron: Try is first step. |
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