| Starry-eyed Girl | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 13 2017, 04:32 AM (226 Views) | |
| Celeste | Dec 13 2017, 04:32 AM Post #1 |
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It's been quite a year. The first year of her professional wrestling life. It was almost over now. Never to return. The mistakes nor the triumphs. The mistakes have been numerous compared to the triumphs but she guessed that's how it goes for everyone when they start out. With the second year on the horizon, that rookie shine has dimmed a bit. How much longer can she be that starry-eyed girl? When most people she has met all seem jaded in some way by this business, Celeste wished they didn't have to become that way. The problem is...it is inevitable. To achieve what she wants...what they all want...you have to grow a thicker skin. Change. She knew she wasn't a butterfly yet. Still trapped in a cocoon of her own making. It had begun to crack however. The tinge of pain which glanced up her back as she lowered herself onto the sand reminded her of her naiveness. Her mind tried to wrap around the reasons Genie did not let go of the hold. What was to gain? She didn't deserve that. Celeste could find no lesson from her opponent's actions other than self-serving. She was just used to send a message. Whether it had been received by other's wasn't her concern. Only thing that mattered, as she screamed through the din of the crowd, is that the pain stopped. It did. Security wrenched Genie off of her. Celeste recalled glancing up and seeing the look in her eye. The snide grin on her face. They didn't make eye contact. She was nothing to her. The grand competition was just an illusion Celeste herself created. Nobody else cared. Her toes dug themselves deeper in the sand. There was a slight protest from her lower back as she laid down against the cool sand. If the chill of the evening didn't help her ache, then she would try heat when she got back to her apartment. With a sigh, she laced her hands behind her head and gazed up at the stars. Some shone brighter than others. Such is the way of the universe as it is in wrestling. They all can't be supernovas. There'd be nothing left. Was challenging everyone the right move? Not all of them are war-hardened veterans. They are merely a few years ahead of her in the scheme of things. But it is hard to discern who the veterans really are when everything in the business is accelerated. A year wrestling in the most vicious matches is like a four year stint in the military she assumes. It ages you. Faster than anything else in her eyes. So a twenty two year old who has already held a world title and a couple midcard championships seems like a senior to her freshman. She made that mistake with Tyson Gregory and Julian Savell. Throwing more grandeur onto them than they actually had, simply because of the few years head start, was a mistake. A psychological one. It was endearing then. Now, not so much. And Celeste could not afford to be so naive or taken in by the flashiness of the business. She wasn't the six year old girl hefting her father's world championship onto her tiny shoulder any longer. That shoulder is big enough now to carry such a burden and she better start acting like it and quickly. This is probably the growing pains most of her opponent's had gone through. She is catching up. What happened in SAP would continue to happen. Regardless of her own views on how the business is or should be. Inside that ring was another dimension. Celeste knew she needed to stop taking it all in. Her focus is too wide. Worrying about the fan’s reactions. Glancing every so often to see who in the crowd had their eyes on her during a match served only to cause mistakes. Her fingers dug into the sand, clenching into fists as she remembered seeing the eyes of those in the crowd as they watch security free her. There were many faces. Some held shock. Some actually cheered. Some booed. But they all reacted to the showmanship. The who and the what her opponent projected herself to be. They were taken in by the story. Problem is, Celeste had been taken in as well. She envisioned a different outcome to be sure, however being consumed by the story itself had been her downfall. So focused on how it would play out for the crowd and the dramatics of it all is why she hadn't been successful. That ring is a separate dimension. Once you step through, you have to cease to be what you were. You change. You can't just go along with the story and play your part. Those are the stars that dim...and go out. Her thoughts felt dark to her. She hoped she didn't have to take things so seriously, yet it became apparent very quickly that if she didn't do that for herself, others would and they will quickly surpass her. Look at CJ… Right off, getting thrown into the National title scene in SAP. Why? When SAP clearly chased her down to join and when she finally did...nothing. No huge announcement. No glorious appearance. Nothing even remotely like Genie and Eli got. Of course she understood those two were already accomplished champions. But CJ was not. A developmental championship meant next to nothing. So why was he the one facing Brendan Samuels and not her? The betrayal her heart felt was two fold. She told him to join. She got jealous. No denying it. Celeste hid it though. Through her smiles and kisses on his cheek she kept the envy in the back of her mind. She should support him. At what cost? Just to be passed over? Watching her friends get those chances had been hard. She could be happy for them and jealous of them in the same moment. Like she was with Felix. Every place he goes he gets chances at championships. Why? What made him so different than her? Maybe that's why she jumped at the chance to be his note taker. Wait...no maybe about it. Celeste wanted to learn something and she did.The drive to succeed in this business would drive someone mad. But didn't she already know that? Hadn't she seen that before? This isn't the first time Celeste had been victim to someone else's delusions of grandeur. The whole “going overboard” thing had happened before. Celeste rubbed at the back of her neck and the phantom pain which lingered there. The memory of Mia Scott and Lacey Allen throwing her into a windshield headfirst is one that won't fade anytime soon. It was the reason she decided to leave ECWF. She refused to be surrounded by such megalomaniacs. It was a mistake though. The joke was on her. HKW is full of them too. Christian Kane came to the forefront of her mind. He has such a big ego… Then back to Felix. He thinks he is the best in the world. Celeste saw firsthand how that thought can take someone over the edge. Blur the lines between fantasy and reality and end friendships on little more than an idea. She found she didn't like him either. Celeste never approved of his outbursts but was willing to go along with them. She hoped there was something more to Felix Vialpando than what he presented to the watching world. Unfortunately that was not the case. Her disappointment grew. Celeste sat back up. Her glare stared at the blackness of ocean before her. The waves lapped up against the shore, stretching further up towards her as if reaching for a tag or a rope break… One that would never come. Celeste pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Thrown away again. What she did to try to help didn't matter once again. Being a “good girl” meant nothing once again. Tossed aside and walked by for the sake of nothing. For a misunderstanding. Felix got lost. She couldn't save him. She couldn't pull him back from the paranoia which consumed the man. Why did she even want to try to save him? Nevertheless, it is another lesson learned in her rookie year. It all comes back to the ring. That other dimension. Celeste shivered from the chill of the evening and breeze blowing off the ocean as much as she did from the thought of stepping through that door. What horrors awaited? Would she be consumed like Felix? Like Lacey Allen? Would she turn out like Sophie El? Celeste didn't want to turn dark. Like those old movies her Uncle Justin forced her to watch while babysitting for his elder brother, she wanted to stay on the “good side”. The light. Like those movies however, she would have to face the dark. Her name was growing and with it, the opportunities. Her name was on that list. The Brand Supremacy Cup Battle Royal lay on the horizon and with it, the battle with Felix Vialpando. Is he a lost cause? Or is there “still good in him”? Celeste wasn't sure. But she knew that once Felix stepped through those ropes he'd be honed in like most of the others. She either needed to do the same or face another devastating loss. Can it be done without losing yourself in the process? She has yet to find an example. The honking of a horn caught her attention. Celeste looked back over her shoulder to see CJ waving at her from the car. After giving him a nod, her eyes went back to the ocean. Vast pool of darkness and she sat at the edge of it. The abyss. At that moment she realized how easy it would be to just step into it… And be lost forever. She willed herself to her feet though. Her back turned to the waves that crept up behind her and she walked toward the light of the streetlamp above the car. Conner received her with a kiss and a touch on her lower back. Celeste looked into his eyes briefly. Nothing came to mind and she went around to the passenger side of the car. Even her relationship had advanced. The next phase of that was also around the corner and nothing reminded her of that more than the promise ring she fidgeted with on her finger as Conner pulled out onto the street. Time moved forward. Celeste would be moving forward with it. All that's left are the memories both happy and sad. The beginning is now further behind. Goodbye starry-eyed girl. |
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