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I'm Sorry But...; Conrad - Jozef Nowak - Manolo
Topic Started: Jan 3 2018, 08:48 PM (113 Views)
Onyx Payne
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I’m Sorry But….

The evening started out with Brylee wearing a black low cut cocktail dress, red heels, hair down and dosed up on medication for her cold so she could survive the night celebrating bringing in the new year with Jozef Nowak. Things were going according to plan until the third drink in. Brylee began to feel nauseous. Apparently, the alcohol wasn’t mixing well with her medication. So sadly she had to call in early leaving Nowak to drink to the new year with her uncle, Conrad. He was almost as well dressed as he was wearing black slacks, a white dress shirt accessorized with a loose hanging red tie.

Conrad hammered back a shot before he lit up one of his cigarettes shaking his head, “I can’t believe you let her leave the house looking like that, grandpa. It’s no wonder she’s sick. It’s as cold as a witches tit out there and she wandering around in her skivvies.”

Nowak, confused by Conrad’s words, simply glared over at his partner in crime and made a ‘pft’ noise.

“What you say? Let her leave looking like this? I do not care what she is wear. This is her decision. She want to look pretty, she look pretty. What kind of man I would be to say no you can’t wear this?”

Nowak pounded down his shot and shrugged his shoulders.

“Remind me to pick up chicken noodle soup, please.”

Conrad couldn’t help but laugh, “What are you her fuckin’ caretaker now? As a teacher, you go far and beyond the call of duty don’t ya. She knows her fuckin Polish, you saved her life… If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re fuckin her.” Taking his other shot, it seemed to hit harder than the other one, and that was due to a realization. He slowly turned his head to Jo with a questionable scowl. “You’re fuckin’ my niece?”

The usually outspoken Jo Nowak was stunned silent. His eyes went wide just as Conrad dropped the f-bomb, a look of shock covering his face.

“...” There were no words. “Enough about me! Who are you fucking is the question. Curwa…” Nowak shook his head, “You do not need to know what happens in my ruggedly life, brachu. You may not like answer too.”

Looking around, Nowak couldn’t help but notice people staring in their direction. Not paying too much mind to it, Nowak tapped the table to ask for another shot and looked back at Conrad.

“How you say I am fucking caretaker, then make bold comment like this. Are you bi-polish?!”

Polar...he meant polar.

“Curwa. Why are we talking about this? Next are you go to ask me if I am have to take little blue pill? Answer to that question is no. I am ruggedly testosterone one man, you understand?” Nowak placed his hand on Conrad’s shoulder and smirked. “I am still not answering first question.”

Conrad brushed Jo’s hand off his shoulder looking more disappointed than anything else. In fact, his facial expression was just sad. “No. Noo. Nooo.” waving his hands in the air, Conrad combed his right hand through his hair. “Goddamnit!” he spat hitting his fist on the table causing some people to jump in their seats. “How can we be bros man? This ruins every fuckin’ conversation I can have with you. I ain’t sleeping with anyone but, I can’t even live vicariously through you now cause’ you’re fuckin my niece. MY NIECE. My bro side is fuckin’ proud of you. Like set you on a pedestal type shit but, my uncle side wants to punch you in your fuckin’ mouth. Why you gotta do me like this Jo? Why you gotta do us like this?” he lets out a groan, “Now we can’t share old lady stories, sex stories, no nothin.”

Nowak shrugged his shoulders, nonchalantly chugging down his fourth shot. He immediately winced as the burn hit his chest, letting out a burp right after to ease the pain.

“Shite. We can...would just be little awkward.”

Realizing that he just unintentionally answered Conrad’s question, Nowak quickly changed the subject to something more PG.

“You like piłka nożna?”

Taking down another shot, Conrad just looks at him with his arms up, “Do I look Polish to you? Does anything about me read that I speak Polish? I don’t know what the fuck you're sayin'.” Taking a breath, he does his best to calm himself not wanting to act like a scorned woman whose boyfriend just broke up with them.

Conrad sighed, “I want to know what you're sayin’. I really do. Cause pilka nozna? Kinda sounds like Mila Kunis to me, and she’s fuckin’ hot. So if pilka… whatever is even close to that? Sign me up.”

Nowak began laughing like a madman after Conrad’s comment. He had no idea who the hell Mila Kunis was, but didn’t bother asking. Looking around, Nowak tapped the bar table for another shot and proceeded to stand up. His eyes went right to the modernized jukebox in the corner of the bar, then searched his pockets for some change.

“Shite. You have quarters? Can’t take this hip-pop shite anymore. This shit they say I don’t fucking understand. It’s like foreign language.”

Nowak began to see the irony of his comment. He turned toward Conrad, watched the bartender place his shot on the table and smirked.

“If you want to learn Polish I can teach you this. Will come in handy next time you get yourself into mess and I have to clean up.” Reaching into his cut, Nowak finally found a few quarters and smiled from ear to ear. “TIME TO PLAY REAL MUSIC! YES. COME ON! LET US GO.”

Nowak gestured for Conrad to follow him, waking in the direction of the jukebox. Before he reached it, the RIP International member tripped on the leg of chair but managed to not fall. Sadly for Nowak, he also ended up losing his quarters.

“NO. WHAT THE FUCK! YOU STUPID FUCKING CHAIR!” Jozef turned around and began kicking away at the guilty chair. He even picked it up and looked ready to throw it against the wall, but he was stopped by one of the bouncers.

“Sir, you’re going to have to calm down.”


Instead of throwing the chair off the wall, Nowak began banging it off the floor until the leg that tripped him broke off. Still not pleased, Nowak did the same thing to the other back leg, then proceeded to break loose the right front leg.


And there went the final leg.


“Heh, heh, “ loosening his tie a bit more, Conrad stepped between Jo and the bouncer with a smile. “He’s not from around here. Where he comes from if anything offends you, you take care of business, and as you can see the chair really offended him.” Clearing his throat, his words spoke back to him, and even he could see how strange he was sounding. “You’re fine, I’m fine, the people at the bar are fine. The chair isn’t but, who really cares about a damn chair?” he shrugs with a chuckle, “Am I right?”

“The owner.”

“Maybe but, you don’t give a damn about the chair.” holding out his hand, the bouncer looks at it for a moment before taking it and grabbing what was in it. “Keep an eye on your friend or I’m going to kick BOTH of you out.” The bouncer warned before he walked off while Conrad turned to Jo.

“Really? You’re worried about me getting myself into a mess and here you are beating up a goddamn chair cause you couldn’t watch where the hell you were going.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out the desired quarters and hands them to Nowak, “Here are your fuckin’ quarters. Jukebox probably doesn’t even fuckin’ work. Places like this just put them there for…” He begins to snap his figures to help him think of the word, “Nostalgia purposes. Nothing more.”

Nowak looked at the quarters in his hand and back over at the jukebox. He let out a sigh before turning to the destroyed chair, a smirk forming on his face.

“Shite. Maybe I am already drunk...fuck.” Nowak put the quarters into his cut and looked Conrad up and down. “Thanks for quarters. Will come in handy for parking meter.”

Seeing that all eyes were on them, Nowak began to have a minor anxiety attack. He flipped off a young couple, then flipped off the bouncer and stole someone’s beer as they passed him by.

“Lets…” With one swig, Nowak pounded the entire beer down and tossed the bottle over his shoulder, glass shattering everywhere. “Let’s get out of here. Not trying to fight in bar on New Year's Eve.”

Nowak pulled out his phone to see if he had a text from any club members and Brylee. Seeing no new messages, Nowak slid the phone back into the right pocket of his jeans and walked in the direction of the exit. He turned around to see Conrad grabbing a beer to go, Nowak doing the same as he stole another person’s beer. He pushed through the door, saw that his bike was safe and secure, and lit up a cigarette. Taking a drag, Nowak turned around to see if Conrad was there, but nothing.

“What the fuck is he doing?”

When Conrad finally came out he was holding a case of beer, “You’re not planning on driving right?” He asks as he hands him a beer while looking over his shoulder, “They won’t miss these.” For some reason, he felt the need to reassure his Polish friend, “So what are some advantages to knowing Polish anyway? I know Spanish because I grew up in Mexico, My family were Mexican, and I worked with Mexicans. Should I just learn Polish so we have some sort of secret language or some shit?”

Nowak went to speak, but he was cut off by his text message tone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw a text message from Brylee, his eyes going wide once he opened the message.


Nowak looked up at Conrad with a grin plastered on his face, but that went away the second he remembered Conrad was Brylee’s uncle.

“I---no. No driving. We walk to---” stopping, Nowak started to shiver from the cold weather and took a sip from his beer. “NO. WE NEED RIDE. IS TOO COLD OUT HERE, HOLY FUCK!”

Setting his beer down, Nowak glanced at the photo sent to his phone and slid it back into his pocket. He began to blow into his hands, looking in every which direction for a taxi or an Uber driver.

“We need fucking ride, Conrad. I do not mind cold most time, but this is more than cold. This is fucking cold! CAPITAL F.”

Nowak pulled his arms into his t-shirt and walked around in circles to try and get warm.

“I need winter jacket…”

Conrad looked at Jo as he was already getting the sniffles from the cold that was blowing around them. Taking a drink of his beer, he points a finger at Jo, “What was the Joker grin for?” He asked knowing there was only one reason for it. It was something guys did when their little senorita sent them a “personal” message. They would then brag to their homies about it and show their girl off but, not Mr. Nowak, “Did Brylee send you a nude or something? Probably wrote something special along with it. Maybe asking you to come back and take her temperature.” Rolling his eyes, he takes another swig of his beer and plops down on the stairs leading to the bar. “See what I mean? This arrangement fucks our friendship. Now we have to settle for how’s the fuckin’ weather. Fucked with a capital C. fuckin’ bullshit.” Pulling out his phone he began to dial before placing the phone up to his ear. “I’m calling Manolo.”

The name alone caused Nowak to look in Conrad’s direction with his mouth agape.

“You are calling Manolo?! For what?! Is not that serious! Curwa, you are snitch on me to Brylee’s father? WHAT HAPPEN TO FRIENDSHIP?!”

“I’m calling him for a ride. Not to tell him you been cradle rubbin’ his baby. Jesus fuckin’ Christ. You think I would stoop that low?” Just then his demeanor changed as Manolo answered his phone. “Hey… Me and grandpa are a little under the influence of alcohol and would like a ride…. To someplace where we won’t get in fight with chairs and we can listen to music that makes sense…. “ Conrad looked down at his phone. “Can't beleieve he didn't say bye. He just hung up on me but, he said he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

Still shivering, Nowak watched as two men got out of their care and move in the direction of the bar entrance. He reached into his pocket and pulled a fifty dollar bill before he approached the gentlemen. Conrad could hear Nowak trying to buy the one man’s coat -- the man drunk enough to agree.


Nowak put the oversized puff jacket on and flipped on the hood. He zipped the coat all the way up, finally turning toward Conrad with a grin.

“Ohhh, this feel good. Real good. Nice and warm.” He said, still shivering as he flicked his cigarette to the street. “How long till ride is here?”

Even though Conrad said a few minutes, that wasn’t specific enough for the nearly frozen Nowak. “You look like a fuckin’ idiot.” Rubbing his forearm a bit he shrugs, “I don’t know. Not soon enough?” he sighed, “You know I was tempted to- never mind. You want to hear some Polish jokes?” Conrad smiles as he pulls out his pack of cigarettes.

“No…” Nowak retorted. “I want to be warm and ruggedly comfortable. We go back inside n---”

Just then, Nowak saw headlights coming their way. He immediately recognized the vehicle and began bouncing up and down on his heels.


Conrad groans as he stands up lighting up the cig he had hanging from his mouth, “Why wasn’t Christ born in Poland?” He asked as he arched an eyebrow at his Eskimo looking polish friend.

“He was…” Nowak replied. “You are looking at him.”

Nowak flashed a smirk and darted toward the vehicle once it got close enough. He pulled open the back door, jumped inside and greeted Manola with a pat on the shoulder.

“You are fucking life alert, you know this?”

Before Manolo could respond Conrad opened the passenger door and took his seat before slamming the door and looking back at Nowak, “Because they couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” Manolo couldn’t help but look at the gentlemen, “Is there something I should know or is this normal for you two?” Conrad looked at Manolo as he began to buckle himself in. “It’s normal. How the fuck are you?”

“I’m still talking to you so what do you think?” Conrad knew what he meant by that. As long as Manolo stays associated with him, he will forever be in the dog house. Smiling, he looks at Nowak, “This is the kind of shit you should be taking notes on. Gonna end up being your future. A lot of lonely nights on the couch.” Conrad chuckles as he goes to puffing away on his cig. His attempt to get warm before the car’s heat does it for him. Manolo looks in his rearview mirror to look at Jo. “Is a congratulation in order Mr. Nowak?”

Nowak looked perplexed. He shook his head from side to side and slapped Conrad in the back of the head. “OW.”

“Is love tap.”

Staring in the rearview mirror, Nowak began to blush a bit as he scratched the back of his head.

“No, not yet. You will be first to know when time comes.”

Nowak looked over at his bike, saddened that he wasn’t able to ride right now. He let out a sigh and took the coat he had purchased off.

“You probably know before I do anyway, detective.”

Manolo laughs, “You’re giving me to much credit. I may have been good at my job but, I wasn’t that good. If I was there wouldn’t be any crimes being committed while I was on duty.” Conrad taps his brother in law on the shoulder to get his attention, “She is 16 years younger than he is.” Conrad raises his eyebrows as he points out that little fact. “Why does that matter?” Manolo questioned, “If my math is correct she is considered an adult and can make her own decisions. You know I read somewhere that women mature faster than men. That’s why women are drawn to older men because they know what they want and there are no games. I’m older than Hope-”

“And hows that working out for ya?” Conrad was quick to retort, Manolo could have spat back causing an argument but, that’s exactly what his brother in law wanted. Instead, he smiled, “You sound like a jealous girlfriend Conrad. Are you upset that Mr. Nowak has a lady friend and you don’t?”

“HAHAHAHA. CONRAD ALSO KNOW AS MISTER LONELY!” Nowak shouted, reaching his arm forward to pat Conrad on the shoulder. Turning his attention to Manolo, the smile on Nowak’s face faded away as he got completely serious. “Listen. I am old fashioned…”

“Or just old…” Conrad mumbled, getting Nowak to raise a brow.

“Yes. Old too, but I am try to be serious right now. Do not interrupt and ruin these moment.” Nowak turned back to Manolo. “Since the cat is out of the hag, now is good of time as any. You are okay with me dating your daughter?” Nowak asked, raising his hand toward Conrad’s face to make sure he couldn’t babble. Suddenly the car stopped abruptly sending both Conrad and Nowak forward before slamming them back in their seats. Manolo puts the car in park before turning and looking back at Nowak then back at Conrad as he was putting the pieces together in his head.

“You knew?” When Conrad couldn’t even look at him, Manolo took a moment before looking back at Mr. Nowak, “Are you asking me if you can date my daughter or have you guys already started dating and you are just now telling me?”

Conrad adjusted himself in his seat and began to straighten out his clothes, “Why don’t you show him the text you got. I’m sure that will clear up everything.” Manolo didn’t look too amused as he looked over at Conrad and gave him a good smack in the back of the head.

Nowak started a hole right through Conrad as he reached into his pocket to grab his phone. He immediately deleted the text he had received then turned his attention back to Brylee’s father.

“I...what? Is this trick question?”

Manolo let out a sigh as he looked at Nowak, “I’m just asking if you guys are already dating. Seeing each other.” He clenched his jaw a bit thinking back to how Jo was always there for Brylee. Helped save her life. Took the time to teach her Polish. What could he say in protest really? Jo has done what he thought a guy who deserved his daughter would do.

Leaning back, Nowak stared out of his window and popped a piece of Juicy Fruit gum into his mouth.

“Well, yes...kind of. It only happen recently. After Onyx, me and Jojo went to see my now ex-wife...long story.” Nowak waved the comment off and stared back at the rearview mirror.

“You’re not that bad of a guy Mr. Nowak.” He admitted as he put the car in drive again, “You have my blessing. I just have to ask one question.”

“What is question?”

“With you being… older, and if things get serious can we expect grandkids or… is that out of the question?”

“THAT'S IT!?” Conrad spat out, his cigarette falling from his mouth.”No jokes about her dating her dad, or grandpa? COME ON the old jokes are right there!”

“Maybe because I am her dad? And besides, he’s younger than me. Which means he couldn’t even come close to being her grandpa.”

“Vete a la mierda. AND YOU!” Not getting anywhere with Manolo, Conrad turned his attention to Nowak. “You were married and you didn’t even fucking tell me?”

Nowak shrugged his shoulders. “Every time we speak, we usually have business. Saving lives, making sure you keep your nose clean. It never feel important. I also am not proud of it because for long time she used the marriage to blackmail me. I try not to remember it, and talking of this makes me remember.”

Turning his attention to Manolo, Nowak slid himself to the middle of the backseat and began to ponder. Kids were never brought up in any conversation between him and Brylee, but it was something he knew he wanted. Nowak anxiously scratched at the back of his neck, then reached into his cut to pull out a flask filled with liquid courage. Nowak twisted off the cap, took a quick swig and thought over his words.

“You stop car in middle of street when I ask you if you care if I date Brylee, now you want grandkids?! Ja pierdole.” Running his hand down his face, Nowak began to wonder if Conrad AND Manolo were both bipolar. Hell, was Brylee bipolar too?!

“Maybe one day, yes. Now she is focus on career so discussion of this never happened. Do not worry. I am still capable of producing child for...five or ten more year.”

“I was taken back by the question. I didn’t expect you and Brylee to… I have been under the impression you were helping her learn polish and that was it. So excuse me for being in a bit of shock. As for the grandkids, it’s a question Hope is going to ask you. Between the two of you, that woman is going to have my head on a spike at the beginning of the new year. So why don’t we just go out, get hammered, and bring in the new year celebrating family.”

Nowak nodded his head and raised his flask up in the air. “HERE HERE! TO FAMILY AND BOYS NIGHT OUT!”

"Yeah, happy fuckin' New Years."

Feeling his phone vibrate, Nowak pulled it out of his pants pocket and saw it was a text from Brylee. Not knowing what it contained, he decided against checking it (for now) and slid his phone into the inner pocket of his cut.
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