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De-escalation of Interpersonal Violence; Oakland, November 1, 2011
Topic Started: Dec 15 2011, 11:45 PM (237 Views)
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The stance to take, the tone of voice to use, and whether or not and how to use eye contact and touch, all vary depending on which one of four flavors of violence (fear, frustration, manipulation, intimidation) I discern in the person in front of me.

Fear - My goal is to reduce this person's perception of threat.

  • Stance: relaxed, open, hands in full view, slow gestures; stand off to one side far enough away to show that attack is not being planned.
  • Tone: firm, reassuring, confident.
  • Eye Contact: give if person seeks it, avoid if person avoids.
  • Touch: offer but don't initiate and only if person is seeking reassurance.

Frustration may be acted-out as anger [male pattern] or acted-in as self-abuse [female pattern]. My goal is to bring this person's behavior under control (harm reduction).

  • Stance: confident, commanding posture; stand directly in front, just out of striking range.
  • Tone: quiet, firm, commanding tones in low volume; give repetitive commands.
  • Eye Contact: direct, commanding.
  • Touch: firm and solid, without excessive movements.

Manipulation - My goal is detachment.

  • Stance: closed, relaxed posture; gestures of irritation, e.g. sighing, nodding, arm-folding.
  • Tone: detached, mechanical, slightly bored.
  • Eye Contact: avoid; look at hairline, chin, shoulders.
  • Touch: quick and unemotional.

Intimidation of another (bullying) - My goal is consequation.

  • Stance: poised, ready, confident; few gestures; position of defensive advantage (exit strategy).
  • Tone: matter-of-fact, monotone, unemotional; use clear, direct statements of consequences, avoid threats and bluffs.
  • Eye Contact: use sparingly, for emphasis.
  • Touch: use matter-of-factly.

We could tear this apart and declare it unacceptable for the nonviolent activist. Judgments, judgments, judgments! And whatever happened to prioritizing connection? But first I would remind you that when violence is in progress, the harm reduction agenda preempts our personal agenda, and we may find ourselves called in the moment to use force in ways that we deeply regret. The above is just a proposed blueprint for how to use force most effectively.
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