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| The Jayanai Sentinel; Andragar's Paper of Record | |
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| Topic Started: 24th January 2015 - 10:57 AM (244 Views) | |
| Andragar | 24th January 2015 - 10:57 AM Post #1 |
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 Andragar’s Paper of Record — Founded 1987 Volume XXIX, Issue 1 ANDRAGAR OPENS TO FOREIGN RELATIONS & INVESTMENT  JAYANAI — In a shock announcement that will surely be marked as a momentous day in national history, Prime Minister Neela Rahamenyam announced her decision to bring Andragar into the international arena, inviting foreign leaders, diplomats, investors, and citizens to visit the country. “For too long our people have buried their heads in the sand,” said Ms. Rahamenyam in a prepared statement. “We always knew this day would come—now it is here, and it is a bright day, full of the promise of peace, prosperity, and partnership.” The statement also confirmed that the decision had received the full imprimatur of the Supreme Rathamban. The abrupt shift in foreign policy represents a reversal from the longstanding practice of Ms. Rahamenyam’s father, the late V.K. Rahamenyam, who served as Prime Minister from 1983 to 2011. While Mr. Rahamenyam’s policies were sometimes characterized as isolationist, his government famously preferred to view them as “embryonic,” designating a temporary situation that would terminate once the nation had reached the point of self-sufficiency in matters of economics and regional negotiating power. Ms. Rahamenyam’s weighty decision indicates her satisfaction that those objectives have been achieved, enabling a transition into the next stage of Andragari history. The announcement comes at a tumultuous time for both Andragar and the region of Mundus. A number of regional conflicts have broken out in recent weeks, leading to a slow response from preoccupied foreign governments. Additionally, in light of the hundreds of thousands of refugees en route after the Andragari Navy’s successful evacuation operation following the surge in violence in Channam, Andragar is bracing for the impact of a tremendous spike in population. “We are confident that our entry into public life, as it were, will be warmly welcomed throughout the region in the coming weeks,” said Sudha Sambanji, Minister of External Affairs. The timing of the announcement, released in tandem with a sobering new report from the Ministry of Human Services that details the plodding progress of railway construction on the critical lines to Mejanpor and Akunjang, seems to indicate Ms. Rahamenyam’s willingness to utilize foreign entities to ensure that the project is completed in a timely manner—that is, before the immigrant fleet arrives. Government officials confirmed that contract negotiations are underway with various foreign companies as well as the government of the Slavic Federation. Officials stressed, however, that foreign involvement in railway construction was of a purely commercial rather than humanitarian nature, and that no long-term contracts were being negotiated at this time. At press time, observers were noting a sharp uptick in construction activity along Amity Street in Jayanai, long designated the future site of “Embassy Row” for the Andragari Government, seeming to indicate the government’s confidence that foreign governments would soon be establishing formal relations. Government officials would not confirm which nations were in talks to open such relations with Andragar. OPINION: Mohawks, Monkeys, and Ministers by A.D. Namasekhar  Faithful readers may be surprised to hear me agree with Ms. Rahamenyam on just about anything, but today is a day of surprises for all of us. On one thing in particular Ms. Rahamenyam and I agree wholeheartedly: today is a momentous day in Andragari history. Wherever the road takes us, things will never be the same. Yet for her, the road ahead is covered in rose petals; for me, in ruts and briars. There have been many surprises in my life lately. The other day, I went to my daughter’s house and saw my granddaughter for the first time in a while; imagine my shock to see her with a full-blown mohawk! (For those readers who are unaware: this is the hairstyle in which the hair is sharply spiked up in a line front-to-back down the center, so that one looks like a porcupine, or some kind of dinosaur. It is very fashionable, I am told.) I said to my daughter: How can you let her wear her hair like this? My daughter said: She is willful; she will not listen. Faithful readers will recall my numerous excoriations of the deplorable state of the youth mentality in this country. Children no longer listen to their parents, and our ancient morals are eroded like sand upon the shore. But I think you did not pick up this paper, dear reader, to hear about my granddaughter’s dinosaur hair, so I will set about getting to my point. Ms. Rahamenyam has given this country a mohawk. Her father was wiser, and might have told her otherwise, but he is with Miryagi now, mirya bahalem, and cannot set her straight. She might know, somewhere, deep down, that she looks ridiculous—but she wants to be fashionable, she wants to fit in with the more popular girls, she wants everyone at school to like her. And yet she is too young to know that the love and admiration of schoolchildren is fleeting—as transitory as late summer. They will admire her, tell her how beautiful and wise she is, but then a day will come, sooner than she thinks, where they will not care for her anymore, and will not waste a second in casting her aside. The schoolchildren grow up, they run ministries and countries, they think they have outgrown the petty politics of their youth, but they cannot. The politics follow them, and now, instead of being about hair and boyfriends, it is about nuclear testing and religious conflict and the welfare of millions. And the schoolchildren will not know what to do. V.K. Rahamenyam understood that big countries only want one thing from little countries, and that is to drain them like monkeys sucking fruit, to exploit them, to hoard them, to fight their neighbor monkeys over how many fruit they have in their hoard. Andragar must be a monkey and not a fruit, and right now it is a fruit—it cannot presume to fight with the monkeys, and it cannot afford to get eaten by them. V.K. Rahamenyam would have known that. Many of his daughter’s compatriots in the APP know that. Most of his daughter’s opponents know that. And every other country in the region knows that. It seems that only Ms. Rahamenyam and her “Supreme” Rathamban are the ones who do not know that. (What has happened to the venerable R.K. Deshyam? Has he gone soft or daft in his dotage?) Soon they will have to learn the hard way, and we will all pay the price. Where is Ms. Rahamenyam’s mother? Mrs. Rahamenyam—tell your daughter to cut off her mohawk! It may be our only chance! My neighbor’s granddaughter wears her hair in three braids, the way Andragari women have worn it since Miryagi walked in the land. She comes home from school and studies every day, she is top five in her class, and she is not willful towards her parents. She knows that there is much she does not know, and she knows that she must be patient to learn it all. She will go to a good university, and continue to learn, and one day she will be wise, and maybe one day she will be Prime Minister, if there is still a country to run. If you ask me, Ms. Rahamenyam could learn a thing or two from her. |
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^ 6:16 PM Jul 13
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May the force be with you.