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Tales of Mundus; A satirical take on Mundus Geopolitics; Anyone can post in here
Topic Started: 17th August 2017 - 09:13 PM (35 Views)
Gadshack
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Sea of Alucard, 100 km from Alander Coast

A Rokkenjiman submarine was swimming through the dark and cold waters of the Alucard, giving off loud and audible pings. The CGI was pretty bad, laughably bad, which seemed the point of the show. To make sure the audience knew it was a Rokkenjiman submarine, a large flag was plastered on it's hull, as if it was drawn on by crayon.

Inside the sub, a captain, dressed head to toe in a selection of sparkling medals, took helm at the periscope. They all spoke in terrible Rokkenjiman accents and hardly looked so. In cartoonish fashion, a sailor approached, dressed more like a stripper impersonating a sailor, his striped shirt exposing his belly and short-shorts exposing his long legs with a clear tan line. The Captain looked at the young sailor longingly, before shouting "At ease! What is it?"

"Captain! Sonar reports an Arander wharing ship coming right at as! No doubt to hurt whares!"

The Captain rubbed his hands evil-like with thin eyes. "Right, rets do this, everyone at their herem!" a bell rung loudly throughout the hulls of the oversized sub, submariners were out of breath by the time they reached their stations. The captain continued looking through the periscope, scanning the horizon, then finally spotting an 'Aland Whaling Ship' flying it's flag proudly. "We havu yuo basterds." the captain muttered with a large cheap grin. "Preparu tu fire torpedu!" the captain ordered, locking the periscope onto the Alander ship.

"Tube 1 readeru!" a sailor shouted in the echoing hall.

"Fire!" the captain gave the order.

"Torpeder 1 awey captan!"

The torpedo flew away in angry fashion, painted with a colorful rainbow livery with the words 'Save the Whales' on it. The entire crew and captain gathered at a radar station, anxiously watching the torpedo speed along it's way. The captain clutch his hat in anxiousness, licking his lips in excitement with wide eyes.

Suddenly, the torpedo took a turn as it had acquired something else. Another, small ping flashed on the screen. "Whatu isur that?!" the captain shouted.

"I du not of know Captur!" the sailor reported.

The pings became more rapid as the torpedo approached its target. Suddenly, a distant explosion indicated the torpedo had hit something.

"Wat du we hit?!" the captain asked, somewhat excited but confused.He turned to the sonar man.

On his face a horrified look. "Uh, Capturan, was of... of"

"Werr! Spit itu out!"

"Whare, the torp pikku up a whare."

"..."

"Targu hit."

The Captain dropped to his knees in a fit, raising his arms in the air and boasting a mournful "Noooooooo"

The Rokkenjiman submarine continued on it's way, dragging whale entrails along the way as they caught up in the subs propellers.
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