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| What is an Enabler?; General View | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 5 2012, 07:19 PM (16 Views) | |
| Post #1 Aug 5 2012, 07:19 PM | Scarred Heart |
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Do you have a friend who is hopeless at budgeting and you're constantly lending her ten dollars here and twenty dollars there? Do you have a spouse with an alcohol problem and you phone his or her boss to call in sick instead of making them do it themselves? Do you constantly take on extra duties each time your older teen has an assignment due instead of allowing them to feel out of control themselves? If the answer is a resounding "Yes" then you could be an enabler. Those who find themselves in situations where alcohol is an issue would find Al-Anon meetings useful. Other "User-Enabler"-type situations benefit by the enabler refusing to meet the needs of the user. Be prepared for abuse, arguments, and unpleasantries of all forms. When an enabler decides to stop "helping", relationships invariably become difficult as the enabler becomes a target for rage, pleading, and emotional blackmail. This is the time to stand firm. It's not easy, but if you love your friend or family member, it is the best gift you can give them. Making them take responsibility for their actions is the only way that your friend or family member can begin to change their lives. If your friend ultimately decides to move on because you refuse to comply with their endless requests, they were never your friend in the first place. They were only using you. They may stay in your life, or they may go. Either way, you win. |
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10:54 AM Jul 11