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A little BT fic for J/B week.
Topic Started: Sep 22 2017, 12:29 AM (329 Views)
Currawong
Not the Valonqar
This little fic is my attempt at a tribute to our wonderful LADY Brienne, in answer to all the BT rubbish and (hopefully) as a lead-in to lots of good stuff in JB week. :) Note: Warning about some strong language at the end, but it is the Hound!!

GO FIND A BEAR

“Ah, there is my favourite woman!” Gritting her teeth, Brienne took a deep breath and walked on. The wildling and his leering irritated and disgusted her in turns.

“Why do you not look at me? I have been thinking of you here, waiting for me.”

Moving her hand to Oathkeeper’s hilt, she kept walking, but Tormund seized her arm and spun her around.

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!” Furious, she twisted free. “I TOLD YOU - LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“I love a strong woman! You are wonderful! We could have such great babies together!” His eyes were bright above the ginger beard.

So she kicked him. Will all her strength. In the balls.

He grunted in pain, doubling over, and she seized him by the hair, forcing him backwards and kneeing him in the ribs so that he staggered, tripped, and sprawled on the ground.

She slammed his head into the snow several times. “DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME.” She kicked him hard again in time with the words, then stood back and drew Oathkeeper, pointing it at his groin.

He peered up at her, a mixture of bewilderment and pain. “But that is the way of all women – they like a strong man. A big man, like me.” He tried to smile.

“Lady Brienne is not ‘all women’.” She hadn’t seen him arrive, but suddenly there were two more swords, both pointing at Tormund’s throat. Valerian steel - Jaime. And the scuffed boots near Tormund’s head told her that the other was Pod. Though her eyes never wavered from Tormund’s face, she sensed a growing ring of spectators.

“Go and find another woman to fuck. And don’t move.” She kicked his legs apart, and used her sword to part his tunic. Ser Goodwin had taught her sword fighting, but he had also taught her a few things about men.

“What …” He tried to get up.

“I said: Don’t move.” Slash. The ties on his tunic parted, and two more delicate cuts dealt with the laces on his trousers. With only the barest hint of a glance at Jaime, Brienne bent down and pulled the wildling’s trousers partway down his legs. It lay there exposed to the cold winter air – a limp and ugly red cock, in a dark ugly mess of hair. And he stank.

Brienne suppressed a shudder as she carefully moved the tip of her sword to rest at the base of his cock.

“I do not like you. I am not interested in you. And I would not want your babies if you were the last man in the whole world.” She gave a little nick, and for the first time she saw a flash of fear in his eyes. “Do. You. Understand?”

The silence was deafening, so she drew the sword point along his cock, a faint red line following its track.

“Perhaps you should take one of his balls now. The dogs here look quite hungry.” Jaime’s voice was conversational, his sword still resting on Tormund’s throat.

“Do you understand?” Oathkeeper’s tip moved sideways slightly, and she had the satisfaction of seeing Tormund flinch.

“Yes.”

“Yes, Lady Brienne.” She sensed Pod’s surprise, and Jaime’s amusement, at her own use of the title, but it was about time that this lecherous idiot realised she was not just any woman.

“Yes. Lady Brienne”.

“Good. And if you ever touch me or come near me again, you will be a blind, handless gelding by the time I have finished with you.”

Nodding at Jaime and Pod to lower their swords, she stepped back and watched as Tormund scrambled painfully to his feet, pulling up his trousers and gathering his tunic together. For the first time she allowed herself to look at the watching throng. No Sansa or Jon, but she spied a grinning Arya standing near a stack of barrels.

“Go.” She sheathed Oathkeeper as Tormund shuffled off, then turned away towards the stables. Jaime and Pod fell in to either side of her.

Across the courtyard, she could hear the Hound offering unsympathetic advice to Tormund. “Stupid bloody bugger you are. Told you about Brienne of fucking Tarth. Nearly killed me, she did. She says she don’t like you, you find someone else. Or maybe that bear.”

__________________________________


ETA: Not sure whether to post this on AO3. Maybe it is better left here as a bit of fun?
Edited by Currawong, Sep 22 2017, 12:54 AM.
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Marion
Kingsguard
Currawong
Sep 22 2017, 12:29 AM

GO FIND A BEAR

Brilliant title Curra.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:



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DanyelN
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Mutton Cutter
This is FABULOUS and yes you should post it on AO3, next week in time for their pathetic Tb celebration week .
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Currawong
Not the Valonqar
I will not be popular with the BT fans!! I'm not sure how I should tag it though - any suggestions? :)
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Ruby_Eyes
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Ser Cleos
hahahahahahahaha. I loved this so much Curra!
But I bet that even if this were to be put on the show, TB fans still would assume that bearfucker and Brienne belong together.
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Mikki
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ChillLord
Hahahha. I LOVE IT.

Just tag Tormund as a character?
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justme
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Winner!
This is awesome! I never knew how much I needed this until I read it.

Listen to the Hound, Turdmund! (And go find a bear!)

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And he stank.

Perfect line is perfect.
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