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The Family Jewels: The Crown; A JB Week Round Robin Fic
Topic Started: Sep 27 2017, 12:36 AM (4,916 Views)
Quinn
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Director of HYPE
Round Robin opens on Day 1! Be prepared. It's frickin awesome already and we just got the basics all set up.

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Rules.

Here are the Rules for this year’s Round Robin.

Anyone can write a chapter but you cannot write two chapters in a row. If you wish to take a turn, call “Dibs” by posting in the thread. From the time you call Dibs, you have ninety minutes to post your chapter. If you haven’t posted within 90 minutes, someone can jump your dibs and post. Each chapter should be no more than 1000 words, although a few over is fine, and if a shorter chapter works, that’s good too.

This is an angst-free fic of fun for everyone to enjoy. No deaths (well, you can make Euron die in a horrible kraken accident…), no permanent maiming, no mention of JC at ALL bwahaha!!!

If inspiration strikes and you want to add gifs, manips, videos, no one will object (you know what to do).

With that said, here we go!
Edited by Mikki, Sep 30 2017, 12:33 AM.
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Quinn
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Chapter 1

Twenty million gold Dragons. It was an impressive sum, even for a Lannister.

“And you’re sure Father doesn’t know?” Jaime asked for the twentieth time.

He and Tyrion, the infamous Lannister brothers with more than infamous reputations, stood side by side in front of the impressive glass case in the middle of the largest exhibition hall in the middle of the Red Keep Museum of National Treasures. The hall had once been the Throne Room before that same throne had been destroyed as the last relic of the old era.

The middle era had begun with the crafting of the object inside the glass case. It was the master example of its kind, expertly worked solid gold both powerful and delicate, shaped into a circlet that had once graced the brows of forty rulers over a dynasty of a thousand years. The front of the circlet held a golden lion, with jewels on every toe of its two front paws, jewels in its mane, and one of the largest rubies in existence at the top of its head. And between those bejeweled paws, at the very center of this magnificent crown, was a glittering star sapphire of most pure blue.

It was a jewel that was supposed to be the exact color of the first Lannister Queen’s eyes. Jaime did not believe that for one second. It was merely a nice story about a beautiful woman who was beloved by her husband-King and her people.

But the Crown was stunning. No one could deny that. It would draw crowds by the tens of thousands as the museum expected. It would restore some respect to the Lannister name as his Father expected. Assuming no one found out the truth.

Tyrion sighed. Again. “Yes, I’m sure. As I’ve told you a hundred times, Grandfather’s records were still sealed. I opened them myself. Father never saw what Tytos did.”

Jaime was still struggling to comprehend that the most prized possession of the entire Lannister family was half a fraud. Tyrion, being the brother who ended up with every terrible job their father Tywin ever required, had completed his survey of their deceased grandfather’s records the day after the Crown had been sent by armored car to the museum to be put on display for the first time in a hundred years. Tytos had never allowed it.

Understandable considering that Tytos Lannister had replaced all the precious jewels in the Crown with paste copies, selling each and every stone in private auctions to pay off the family debts.

And now they were all in enormous trouble. The exhibition would open in two weeks, right before the inspector from Volantis would arrive to examine the Crown and confirm its authenticity for the twenty million gold Dragon insurance policy.

That inspector could not see the Crown. It wasn’t about the family name or restoring reputation, no. It was about Tyrion.

Tywin Lannister was not a kind man, and Jaime thought that Tywin hated his dwarf son the most of any man living. It wouldn’t matter that Tyrion had learned of Tytos’ folly too late to stop the Crown’s transfer. Tywin would blame Tyrion, and any money required to pay restitution would be taken from Tyrion’s meager legacy, which wasn’t nearly enough to pay the sum required by the authenticity contract.

For the Lannister Crown was not ordinary and therefore did not have ordinary ownership. When the last Lannister king stepped down to bring about the new era of representational government, he had bequeathed the Crown to the nation as a symbol of its history and of the two families who had so fundamentally shaped it into an era of good.

The Lannisters were given one-third ownership and the position of protector for the priceless object. Another third was owned by the Tarth family, the old and wise line whose warrior queen had birthed their joint royal line.

And the final third was owned by Westeros herself. If the Crown were found to be false, both the Lannisters and the Tarths would have to pay ten million gold Dragons. Each.

Jaime knew Father would take the Lannister share out of Tyrion’s hide, and whatever reputation their family had would be gone. While Tyrion had only briefly met Selwyn Tarth during the exhibition negotiations, they both knew the man certainly had no large bank account to rely upon. The Tarths had become common people over time, their name and their island all that remained of their ancient wealth, apart from their stake in the Crown.

“Do you agree, Jaime?” Tyrion’s voice pierced his heavy thoughts.

“You know I don’t. And you know I can see no other way.” Jaime hated to admit it. It didn’t feel right, but in order to do right by Tyrion at all, and to some extent, good ol’ Selwyn Tarth, he really couldn’t find another path. And the gods knew he had tried.

Tyrion cleared his throat. “Then I’ll get the key from Father. Somehow.”

“And I’ll go to Tarth.” Jaime shut his eyes against the sight of the Crown, gleaming in its repose on a red velvet cushion.

In order to access the Crown within its state-of-the-art secure case, three keys had to be used at the same time. The Lannisters held one. The Tarth’s, another. The third was held by the mayor of King’s Landing. They would have to get that key, somehow.

“So we’re really going to steal our own Crown,” Jaime said in complete resignation.

Tyrion bumped his hip with one shoulder. “We’re going to steal our own Crown.”

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Mikki
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Chapter 2

Brienne looked at the golden god sitting on the other side of her desk in her office, hoping this was all a weird nightmare and he would just vanish. She closed her eyes and opened them again. He was still there. This time smiling hopefully. She bit her lip and looked down at her copy of the ancient Crown documents.

“So you’re saying that each year, the Tarth representative, in this case my Father, was to inspect the Crown and verify that it was being protected appropriately by the Lannisters?”

The gorgeous man nodded.

“And this stack of forms here,” she placed her hand on the manila folder of papers, “are those verifications signed by him each year for the last thirty years stating that he had traveled to Casterly Rock and inspected the Crown outside the presence of the Lannisters and that all was well?”

He nodded again.

She placed her hand on the second file of papers, “And this set of documents shows that his trips to Casterly Rock never actually took place and that he spent his verification stipends on singles cruises and romantic resorts. And that he just signed these forms without ever, in the last thirty years, actually inspecting the Crown?”

The man, Jaime Lannister, nodded again. Was he a bobblehead?

She looked heavensward. Gods she loved her dad but he was the most trusting man on the planet. He’d actually been planning to send his bank account information to a “Ghiscari prince” who “just needed to transfer some funds” before she fortunately stopped him. Now what had he gotten them into?

“So what you’re telling me is that your lying cheat of a grandfather stole the jewels from the Crown and sold them to pay for luxury yachts and prostitutes, but that my overly-trusting father is going to end up sharing the blame for it because he failed to properly inspect the Crown each year?” her voice rose to a near shout.

Jaime sat back, put his hands behind his head, stretched his legs out and crossed his feet at the ankles. “That’s how I see it. And that means your family is going to have to pony up ten million gold Dragons.”

She deflated. Her father didn’t have that kind of money. Wealth wasn’t important on Tarth. They had a good life with a nice home. The island was prosperous but not overly so, and even if they sold all of the Tarth holdings, they’d still be two million Dragons short.

She pressed the heels of her hands into her forehead. “When is all this going to come out? Before the exhibition opens?”

“Earlier than that. The Volantene inspector will be examining the Crown in thirteen days.”

She put her hands down on her desk and looked the Lannister god up and down. He was too calm. And too attractive. “So what do you plan to do about it?”

He grinned at her. His teeth were perfect. “What makes you think I have a plan?”

She narrowed her eyes. “This exhibition was your father’s idea to ‘restore dignity to the family name.’ From all accounts, Tywin Lannister is terrifying. You’re telling me he has no idea that the Crown is half fake. You’re a bit too calm about that. And you’re a slick, sneaky Lannister. You really mean to tell me you don’t have a plan?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “I like you, Stretch. You’re smarter than you look.”

She scowled at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “My name is Brienne, not ‘Stretch.’”

Jaime leaned forward. “This is my plan. You,” he pointed at her and then at himself, “and I, are going to steal the Crown.”

Brienne reared back. “What? Commit theft? We can’t do that. It’s illegal!”

He grinned and she felt an urge to smack him. “Because I have the documents that say your father verified the condition of the Crown every year for the last thirty. And when that inspector says the stones are fake, I can blame it all on cheerful Selwyn and his penchant for younger women. The honorable Tarth reputation won’t save him.” He winked at her. “And it won’t save you either.”

All of her hard work, her reputation, her honor, all of it would be gone. “You wouldn’t,” she growled.

He arched one eyebrow.

She leaned back in defeat. “You would.” She closed her eyes, again hoping he’d just vanish. She opened them and he was still there looking at her. “Why didn’t you just steal it on your own? Why bring me in on it?”

“Because your father carries one of the three keys needed to open the Crown’s case. I have one and my brother, Tyrion, is working to get the third key from Mayor Tyrell. I need your key.” He looked her up and down. “Not to mention that BT Security, owned by Brienne O. Tarth, that’s you, specializes in the most advanced security systems in Westeros. You’ve got the key. You’ve got the expertise.”

She’d forgotten about her Father’s key. He’d shown it to her once, calling it the “least important of Tarth’s treasures.” He kept it in her mother’s jewelry box. And she did, in fact, have the expertise. She had built her business from the ground up. She specialized in keeping people and their property safe. And now she was about to violate every security oath she had ever made. But maybe she didn’t have to fully go along with his plan. Once they got the Crown, how hard could it be to simply restore the stones? That seemed a much better plan than outright theft. That’s what they’d do, whether this Lannister liked it or not. “If I’m the brains of this operation, what are you?”

He grinned again. “I’ve got the looks.”

Edited by Mikki, Sep 30 2017, 12:32 AM.
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Shareece22
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posting in a minute :)
Brienne unlocked the back door to her child hood home, pushing the door open with a sigh. She stepped inside and closed the door quietly behind herself. She quickly moved toward the alarm system that was beeping out it’s warning of needing to be turned off or else it would alert the authorities of a break-in. She quickly punched in the passcode, tension still not leaving her even as the alarm gave the beep beep beep sound of being secure.

She paused in the kitchen listening for sounds of her father being home. “Dad?” She called out, sighing in relief when she’d gotten no answer.

She quickly moved from the kitchen, through the living room and up the stairs toward her father’s room. She paused in the doorway, her heart racing. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten roped into this. Her thoughts drifted to the handsome demon Jaime Lannister. The nerve of that asshole.

“I’ve got the looks.” She mocked under her breath. Regardless of it being true he was still an asshole and she knew he was going to be the bane of her existence for the next few days. She glanced into her father’s bedroom, her thoughts then going back to two days ago when she’d helped him get ready for a dinner party he was to attend.

Brienne watched with amusement as her father struggled to tie his bowtie.

“Let me.” She moved forward as he turned to face her. She quickly tied it in a perfect bow. “There you go.” She said softly.

Selwyn grinned down at her. “What will I do without you, my dear?”

She gave him a wry smile. “I have no idea.” Her smile widened as he kissed her forehead.


‘No!’ She couldn’t do this. Brienne shook her head and turned away, walking back toward the stairs. She paused as her phone beeped, indicating she had a text message. She quickly pulled her phone out of her purse, frowning as he realized it was from Jaime Lannister.

Don’t Puss out, long legs. GET THE KEY!!!

Brienne stared down at her phone, wide eyed. She quickly texted her reply.

YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!!!!

Her phone quickly beeped back a reply.

Don’t forget the consequences if you don’t do this, stretch.

MY NAME IS BRIENNE!!!

Jaime’s only response was four upside down smiley face emojis.

“Ugh!” Brienne growled out as she made her way back toward her father’s bedroom. She had to protect her family’s honor. She walked toward her father’s nightstand where her mother’s jewelry box lay. She quickly opened the box and slowly pulled out the key. She stared at the small shiny object, tensing as she heard the front door open and slam close. “Shit.”
Edited by Shareece22, Oct 1 2017, 12:33 AM.
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Mikki
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oOOoooOO....who is next??? :)
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justme
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dibs?
________________________________________________________________________________________________
897

The plan had been to find a cheap motel in Evenfall, the small and quaint town by the seaside, and lay low until Stretch texted him about the successful retrieval of the second golden key. After all, in the spirit of covering his tracks, "officially" Jaime had never set foot onto the island. It was somewhat of a shame. Tarth appeared to be a lovely place, all lush greens and crystal blue water surrounding it. Compared to King's Landing, with its noise and hectic and stench, the island was almost an oasis of tranquility. He would have to come back some time, when all this was behind him, to explore the nature, maybe do a bike tour. After all, he now even had a friend here to visit. Jaime snorted. Brienne Tarth was hardly his friend (or he hers), in fact the looks of disdain she'd thrown at him ever since he'd sat foot into her office strongly implied that she would've rather spent the rest of her days without ever being introduced to him. Which normally would've suited him just fine on account of her seemingly having a huge stick up her ass. They had absolutely nothing in common, save for the fact that both of them were in this situation because they wanted to protect someone they cared about. Naturally, her sternness had made him determined to ruffle her feathers any way he could and he was somewhat looking forward to the second phase of the plan and getting under her skin some more. As much as one could look forward to potentially getting caught committing theft and subsequently getting locked up, anyway.

Lying on the lumpy bed, Jaime twiddled the key he'd brought with him between his fingers. Getting it from their father hadn't presented much of a challenge for his little brother after all. Tywin Lannister hardly ever graced their ancestral home with his presence, too caught up in meetings, mergers and business trips and Tyrion had had memorized the passwords and codes for every vault, safe and computer in their father's mansion by the time he'd been 17. All he'd had to do was to wait until father had flown off to Myr for a conference before he'd taken a page out of their grandfather's book, fetched the key and had a copy made to put into the vault until they were going to switch it out again. With Stretch bringing the second key around later today, they were making great progress. It was almost too easy.

His cell phone buzzed on the bedside table. Closing his left fist around the key, Jaime reached out with his right arm to pick up the phone. It was a text from Tyrion.

Everything's going accrdng to plan. Will take mayor's daughter out for drinks tonite. Should receive invite to their house within the week.

Whatever his brother lacked in height, he made up plenty with charme and suaveness. Romancing Margaery Tyrell, the mayor's daughter, in order to gain access to their house and create an opportunity to steal the last key had been Tyrion's idea as well. And something told Jaime his brother didn't exactly consider it a hardship to play the role of a man smitten with the doe-eyed beauty.

Excellent. Be careful. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

U want that key or not? Came back the reply.

Fine. Do everything I wouldn't do.

That's the spirit.


Putting the phone away, Jaime took another look at the key in his hand. With all the high tech in the world it seemed almost unbelievable that the security system of simply using 3 different keys at the same time, was all it would take to take the Crown out of its bulletproof case, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. It was the precautions taken around that case that were going to be the tricky part. Lasers, sound detectors, motion trackers and whatever else good money could buy on the security market. The expertise of Brienne Tarth would certainly come in handy. He could only hope she was as good as her reputation.

Speaking of the woman in question, a knock came from his door and Jaime got up, put the key into the pocket of his pants and walked over to the door to open it quickly. He gestured for her to come inside, and she did so after a moment's hesitation, standing in the middle of the room, twisting and intertwining her fingers.

"Well, let's see it then." Jaime prompted with a rolling motion of his arm.

"I couldn't do it." She confessed, looking at the floor.

"Excuse me?" His eyebrows rose. Compared to what his brother was doing to get the third key, her task was a frickin' walk in the park.

"My father came home unexpectedly. And I panicked.."

"What kind of professional are you?"

"My job is to prevent theft, not commit it!" She gave back, indignantly, her blue eyes flashing in anger. Huh. Those were nice.
Jaime shook his head with a roll of his eyes. Walking over to the chair by the window, he grabbed his jacket.

"Alright. Show me where you live and distract your father, I'll get the damn key."

"Bu---"

"And I must say, Stretch, I'm going to have to seriously re-evaluate your status as the brains of this operation. Let's go."
Edited by justme, Oct 1 2017, 08:22 AM.
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Erin
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dibs!
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YAS.
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Brienne sat rigidly in the driver’s seat, knuckles turning white as they clenched and unclenched tightly around the wheel at 10 and 2. She was scowling at the road ahead of her, intent on ignoring the handsome, arrogant ass in the passenger seat.

“Oh, come on, Stretch. I didn’t mean it like that!” he said trying to restrain a chuckle.

“Didn’t you? I think you made it perfectly clear that you think I’m useless,” she snapped. “And my name is Brienne!” She wasn't sure why what he had said irritated her as much as it did. Insults and jokes at her expense were nothing new. But for some reason she found herself caring just a little about what this man thought of her.

“I don’t think you’re useless," he responded. "I have no doubt your experience with security will be essential when the time comes. But this? This is different. When it comes to lying and deception, I get the impression you're such an innocent."

She felt herself foolishly blush at the words of this man she barely knew, and his attempt to smooth things over between them. However, she still wasn't certain what he was playing at.

"But, I need you to play an essential role when we do things my way," he continued. "You’ll be leading lady.”

"Leading lady? And what does that make you?

"Well–"

“What exactly do have in mind, Jaime?” she asked skeptically, peering at him out of the corner of her eye. “What are we doing?”

“We’re doing everything I wouldn’t do,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“Nothing. It’s just that I spoke to my brother while I was waiting for you. His plan to secure the mayor’s key is under way. Say what you want about my brother, but he’s clever and he gets results. He’s confident he’ll secure the mayor’s key within the week, and I have no doubt he will. Let’s just say his methods are the source of my inspiration.”

“You’re avoiding the point, Jaime. Stop being so cryptic and spit it out!”

“My brother’s wooing the mayor’s daughter. He’ll gain the mayors favor in no time with that famous Lannister charm.”

“I don’t–“

“Selwyn Tarth has a daughter. I figure I can do the same,” he said.

For the first time since they got into the car, Brienne turned to him to give him her most incredulous look. He winked in reply. And there it was. That famous Lannister charm.
Edited by Erin, Oct 1 2017, 12:16 PM.
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justme
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Oh yas!
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Erin
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Damnit, I misread my word count, and didn't realize I was waayyy under. Sorry.
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Shareece22
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dibs
Brienne pulled up into her father’s driveway and turned the car off before facing Jaime, her expression deadly. “ No.”

Jaime turned to face her, starting in surprise at what he saw. The rays from the sun reflected within the car, creating a halo effect around her; her yellow hair seemed to glow. Her fierce expression seemed to make her blue eyes turn an even more interesting shade of blue. Her eyes were exquisite; like nothing he has ever seen before. Shaking his strange thoughts he frowned at her. “No?”

Brienne nodded. “Yes. No. We are not introducing ourselves to my father as if we are---dating.” She said the last word as if the idea repulsed her.

Jaime chuckled. “Stretch, I know the idea seems like a stretch—” he chuckled at his own joke. “But this is our only option since you pussed out.” She didn’t budge and he sighed. “Need I remind you of the scandal that would follow after the big reveal about the crown?” He watched as his words had the desired effect. “Let’s go.” He ordered, slipping out of the car.

He waited and watched as Brienne slipped out off the car more slowly. He held out his arm. “Shall we?”

Brienne ignored his offered arm, stomping up the driveway and toward the door, she paused before unlocking it. “Don’t—don’t say anything ridiculous.” She demanded. “And don’t be an asshole.”

Jaime held up his hands in mock surrender. “I’ll be completely appropriate. I’m as charming as ever.”

Brienne rolled her eyes and unlocked the door. She turned the knob and stepped inside, just as Jaime did the same thing. They both became stuck in the doorway. “Can you—” She trailed off and pushed her way in first, stumbling forward with a small grunt. She glared over her shoulder as Jaime stumbled in behind her.

He quickly stood up straight, straightening his suit jacket with a sigh. He made his way toward Brienne, reaching for her hand. He frowned when she snatched it back.

“What are you doing?” She hissed.

He frowned at her. “Playing the part.” They both started as Selwyn suddenly called out.

“Brienne, my dove? Is that you?”

They could hear his footsteps as he made his way down the stairs. Jaime reached for Brienne’s hand again, but she slapped his hand away.

“Stop it!” He hissed quietly, fighting to reach for her hand. “We have to make it seem real.”

She slapped his hand away again. “And how would holding hands make it seem real?” she slapped his hand away. “Stop that!”

“Brienne?” Her father called again. He was getting closer.

Jaime finally got the jump on her, grabbing her hand and clasping it in his tightly, strenghtening his hold when she tried to yank it away. “Don’t be that way dearest.”

“I. Hate. You.” She said, emphasizing each word with a yank of her hand. On the third yank she gave up and just in time as Selwyn finally made his way into the foyer. “Dad!”

Jaime has never met Selwyn and he could only stare in slight shock from the man’s impressive size. No wonder Brienne was as tall as she was, this man was a giant. “Hello, Mr. Tarth.”

Selwyn’s blue eyes slid from his daughters to Jaime and Jaime was again startled at how similar the older man’s expression was to his daughter’s.

“Mr. Lannister?”

Jaime shook his head. “Mr. Lannister is my father, please call me Jaime.”

His eyes slid toward Brienne and Jaime’s joined hands before sliding back to his daughter, his eyebrow raised.

Brienne sighed. “Dad I—We—thought to—”

“We’re in love!” Jaime exclaimed, wrapping his arm about Brienne’s waist. He kissed Brienne’s cheek and pulled back with a large grin, ignoring Brienne’s slightly incredulous expression. “come on stretch,” He murmured so only she could hear. “Play the part."

Brienne’s eyes slid toward Jaime before looking at her father, realizing with horror he was softly smiling at the two of them. Gods her father always dreamed of her finding someone. “Yes,” She gritted out. “we’re in love.”
Edited by Shareece22, Oct 1 2017, 01:18 PM.
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Mikki
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ChillLord
Bwhahahahahahaaaa. ANd Selwyn is PLEASED :)
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justme
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Aww this is amazeballs *claps hands together in glee*
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Quinn
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All these entries are FAB!!! I'm smiling so much right now.
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Upsgirl88
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Okay.... I'll give this a go. Dibs :)
“Just get the damn key and get back so we can get out of here,” Brienne hissed as she led Jaime down a long hallway. She’d already explained in detail where he would find it and they had left her father in the living room under the guise of her showing Jaime to the nearest bathroom.

“I’ll get the key, but why are you in such a hurry to leave? We should pop the cork on a bottle of wine while I get to know my father in law to be,” he said with a chuckle.

Brienne rolled her eyes and gave him a shove in the right direction. “Just hurry up,” she muttered, leaving him to head back to join her father.

“He won’t be too long,” Brienne said, nervously taking a seat on the couch across from where her father sat in his favourite reclining chair.

“A Lannister? Really?” Selwyn gave her a curious look.

“I know…” Brienne deadpanned. “I’m every bit as surprised as you,” she forced a smile.

“Well you two do seem happy,” he said, smiling back at her. There it was, her dad’s naivete on full display. He knew she wouldn’t lie to him though, so why wouldn’t he believe her and Jaime were madly in love if she said it was so? There were so many things to question, yet he was happy to believe it all without a second thought.

They made a bit of small talk as time passed… lots of time… too much time. The longer Jaime was gone the more her stomach tightened. “Do you think your… um… friend… is okay?” her father asked. “He’s been gone a while.”

“Maybe I should check on him,” Brienne said, jumping up. “Perhaps he got lost or something,” she muttered as she walked away. Where the hell is he? She wondered, checking every room along the way, including the empty bathroom and the room he should have been in to get the key. He was nowhere to be found. Had he taken the key and jumped out a damn window or something? “Jaime? Jaime?” she hissed, wandering even further away from where the fool should have been.

“In here,” his voice called out. No. No way. He couldn’t be… Brienne stomped towards the door and shoved it open. There in the middle of her bed, looking way too comfortable was Jaime Lannister in all his handsome glory.

“What are you doing in my room?” she grumbled. “Get up. Get out. Did you even find the stupid key?” The words were flying out of her mouth.

“Oh yeah, I had it 10 minutes ago, long before I started my tour,” he shrugged, flashing her the key. “I knew this had to be your room,” he chuckled. “Come, lay down a minute,” Jaime patted the bed beside him.

“Are you insane?” Brienne gaped.

Jaime shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe a little.” He moved to one side to make room for her. “Come on, just for a second. This bed is way more comfortable than that awful thing at the motel.”

“My dad is out there waiting for us, come on - get up,” she pleaded with him. Jaime propped up on one elbow and smiled that million dollar smile. He patted the bed again. Brienne cursed in her head, several times. Jaime was perhaps the most stubborn, insufferable man she had ever met. It was clear he wasn’t budging until he got his way so with an exaggerated sigh she marched over to the bed and flopped down right beside him.
Edited by Upsgirl88, Oct 1 2017, 04:38 PM.
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Yay! Excellent addition, Upsgirl. And Welcome!

Judging by how pleased Selwyn is with Jaime, if he happens to stumble across Jaime and Brienne in bed together, I can only think:

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Mikki
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Excellent first post, ups! Glad to have you on board :)
Dibs

Jaime grinned up at the tall, infuriated woman. He had found the key quickly, but the way this was going, he needed some ammunition against this woman to make sure she didn't turn on them, or turn them in. He'd made his way to her bedroom and had a good snoop before flopping down on her bed when he heard her coming down the hall.

He hadn't found anything, well, nothing with which to blackmail her, unless she'd be willing to commit a crime to keep the world from knowing she owned a couple of thongs. Blue ones. He let himself imagine that for a moment as she got in the bed beside him. His best bet was to maintain this dating pretense and make sure her dad bought it.

She sat upright on the bed, legs outstretched, stiff as a board. He scooched up next to her wrapping an arm around her waist and using her thigh as a pillow. And what a muscular thigh it was. He looked up at her and batted his eyelashes.

"Do you happen to know the security protocols for the museum?" he asked.

She put one finger against his forehead and pushed his head back onto his side of the bed. "I know they have infrared lasers crisscrossing the room and the pattern likely changes every six minutes or so. Also, the pedastal has a weight sensor. Just removing the Crown will cause it to go off. We'll need to find a way to equalize the weight when we remove it."

He revised his assessment of her. She had been thinking about this, and in quite some detail. He hadn’t really thought about what they were going to do after they’d acquired the keys. He supposed he was leaving a lot of that planning up to Tyrion.

She shook her head. "I don't think we are going to be able to do it. We have to get all three keys, break into the museum and then break into the exhibit. I don't see how we can make that happen. It would take a year of planning and groundwork.” She turned to him. “We’d need an ‘in’ with the security staff, a guard we could bribe or something. And we’d have to find a way around the security cameras. We can’t be seen.”

He snuggled his head against her thigh again. She really was very comfortable. And her leg smelled amazing. He ran his hand up under her shirt and up her bare back. She was warm. And her skin was soft. "Come on Stretch, you know we can get this done, and we are working under time constraints."

She pulled at his arm, moving it from around her. “Stop that.”

He fought back. “Why, Stretch? Since we are engaged.”

“We are not engaged, she responded as she pushed at his shoulder.

He grinned at her and threw one leg over hers, pinning her to the bed. “For ten million dragons, you’d marry me.”

“Marry you,” she huffed. Then fight went out of her. She relaxed beneath him. “Jaime, do you really think we can get this done in under two weeks?"

He heard a throat clearing from the doorway. He turned to look. There stood Brienne's enormous father. And here he in a compromising position in her bed. Jaime maneuvered himself off of her, turning to sit on the bed and face the man. Jaime prepared to defend himself.

The giant man smiled. "Two weeks? You want to get married in less than two weeks?" He clapped his hands together. "A Lannister Tarth wedding celebration to coincide with the display of the Crown, used by the Lannister Tarth line. That's perfect."

Jaime heard Brienne choking from behind him. He grabbed her hand, willing her not to speak and tell her father the truth. "Uh, Mr. Tarth, with the opening being so soon, we really should have a small, intimate wedding, maybe in a couple of months." After they'd stolen the Crown and had time to fake a breakup. Brienne squeezed his hand so hard he thought she’d broken a few bones.

"Nonsense, son! My little girl deserves the very best like the first Queen to share the Crown. I'll call Tywin and we'll get this wedding planned." He pulled out his cell phone, dialed and turned to head back down the hallway.

Jaime turned to a clearly panicked Brienne, then heard Selwyn shout back to them, "And please Jaime, call me Dad."
Edited by Mikki, Oct 1 2017, 07:07 PM.
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Erin
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YASSSS. MISUNDERSTANDINGS! FAKE ENGAGMENTS! ALL THE THINGS!
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Quinn
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Director of HYPE
At first I was like...

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And then I was like...

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Shareece22
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Ser Cleos
oh.dear.
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TheNerdyBlogger
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Cock Merchant
Okay, I'll give this a try. :) Dibs.
Brienne glared daggers at Jaime as her father bounced down the hallway. As soon as her father was out of earshot, she turned on Jaime, seething through gritted teeth, “Wedding? IN. LESS. THAN. TWO. WEEKS?!!!”

Brienne squeezed her eyes shut and put her fingers to her temples. She felt as if her head would explode. How could she have gotten herself into this mess? Oh yeah, protecting her father’s honor and keeping her family from utter financial ruin. This situation has put her own sense of familial honor at war with her lawful good nature. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

Jaime, looking as smug, arrogant, and ridiculously attractive as ever, grinned. “Come on, Stretch! We can make this work to our advantage.”

Brienne fell back against the pillow and turned, raising an eyebrow at her new “fiancé.” “And how exactly do you think we can make this work to our advantage, my dear husband-to-be?” The venom laced in that title was palpable.

Jaime’s emerald eyes flashed wickedly as he grinned. She had never seen eyes quite so green. It was bad enough that he had an obscenely handsome face, with a body that looked like it had been modeled after the Warrior himself, but did he have to have such piercingly beautiful eyes too? Some people just have all the luck. Brienne shook her head to break her reverie.

I must not lose focus. But she looked him in the eyes as he spoke, attempting not to drown in them, buoying herself with the rage she felt at this gorgeous near-stranger in her bed.

“We’ll host the ceremony at the museum. You can get into the security office under the premise of managing and planning security for our wedding. You can organize security, but also learn how to we can work around the safeguards for the Crown.” Jaime paused when he saw Brienne scowling at him.

“Wouldn’t that be a little suspicious? I’m a terrible liar. I don’t know that I can pull that off.” Brienne ran her fingers through her hair, mussing it into a unkept nest. This was going to end up with them in jail and her father in personal and financial ruin, not to mention the demise of BT Security.

“Do what you have to do,” Jaime shot at her. “Flirt with the guards! Bribe them with donuts! Be a bridezilla! Put those long legs to good use.” Jaime’s eyes followed the exceptional length and he felt his pulse quicken. The sensible black pants she wore only served to enhance the muscular shape of her legs. The woman had legs for days. Brienne started to shift uncomfortably under his gaze. Realizing he’d lingered a bit too long over those gorgeous gams, Jaime placed a hand over his face. “I don’t care how you do it. Just make it work! You’re the brains of the operation, remember?”

Brienne sighed and resigned herself to her fate. She would regret this.


Dinner with her father was a wreck. Brienne had to feign excitement the rest of the evening. Jaime acted as if he had orchestrated this from the beginning. Who knew her father was a closet wedding planner? Selwyn Tarth had squealed with delight over the idea of using the museum for the ceremony, with the Crown display in the background as the centerpiece.

“The Crown’s jewels are the near embodiment of Brienne’s eyes! It will be the highlight of the décor!” Jaime had gushed. “Nothing compares to her sapphires though.” He turned, making eyes and grinning like an idiot at his reluctant bride. Brienne’s gaze caught his own. She did have the most astonishing blue eyes he’d ever seen. He gasped a little as her eyes flashed at him. The silent fury those pools held caught him off guard. He placed a hand on her knee under the table to steady himself. The shock of his touch broke their staring contest. Brienne shook her head and turned her attention to her father. Selwyn Tarth had risen to his feet, popping the cork from a bottle of champagne.

“Such a momentous occasion calls for celebration! A toast to the happy couple!” Selwyn cried. The tall, broad man poured the vintage into the largest champagne glasses Jaime had ever seen. There was apparently nothing small about the Tarths, including their wine glasses. “To my beautiful daughter and her fiancé. May your marriage be filled with a love worth far more than any jewels. May it be filled with children who will grow to know the importance of honor and a noble family heritage, and I don’t mean just their royal roots, but honor that is rooted in noble character.” Selwyn addressed the two of them as if he were giving a toast to a room of thousands. Brienne’s father raised his glass. Jaime and Brienne looked at each other and lifted their own cups. Brienne caught a glint of humor in Jaime’s eye.

“Come my dear, let’s practice for the ceremony.” Jaime reached his arm through the crook of Brienne’s, linking their arms at the elbow.

“Jaime, please.” Brienne pleaded, looking thoroughly embarrassed. Jaime did not budge. He took her free hand in his and gave it a small squeeze. Her hand was warm and surprisingly soft for a woman who looked like she could tear him a new one with her pinky finger.

“Darling, I insist,” Jaime crooned, rolling his thumb over her hand, stroking it gently. Brienne rolled her eyes and resigned herself to her fate. His touch was unbearably distracting. Strong and firm, but also gentle. Brienne and Jaime carefully raised their glasses, their locked elbows pulling them closer together.

“To us,” Brienne said, hoping to appear the quintessential blushing bride as she smiled at Jaime.

“To us,” Jaime intoned, grinning as he lifted his glass.

Selwyn Tarth drained his glass and burst into a fit of laughter. “Now Brienne, please excuse Jaime and me. I need to have a man-to-man chat with my new son-in-law. I want to make sure he gives my little dove the best wedding present she can possibly get…after the ceremony.”

Brienne and Jaime choked on their champagne.
Edited by TheNerdyBlogger, Oct 2 2017, 09:20 AM.
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Erin
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*FLAILS*

Awesome, Nerdy! If BT Security falls to ruins, Selwyn might have a job in wedding planning. :yes:

They do know that Tywin's going to hear about their engagement at some point, right? :laugh:
Edited by Erin, Oct 2 2017, 09:33 AM.
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TheNerdyBlogger
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Erin
Oct 2 2017, 09:30 AM
*FLAILS*

Awesome, Nerdy! If BT Security falls to ruins, Selwyn might have a job in wedding planning. :yes:

They do know that Tywin's going to hear about their engagement at some point, right? :laugh:
Thanks! I've not written fan fiction in 10+ years, so I thought this would be a fun foray back in.
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Shareece22
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Ser Cleos
oh gosh!! i love selwyn :) so great.
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Mikki
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ChillLord
DIBS!! I love this so much.
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TheNerdyBlogger
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Can't wait to read what you've got, Mikki! :D
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Mikki
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Tywin Lannister looked down at his phone. He’d just had the most ridiculous phone call from Selwyn Tarth, of all people. Tarth. Jolly, jovial man who dismissed personal wealth as being unimportant. Tywin clenched his jaw. That man had done little to retain the status of his family as co-owner of the Crown. Tarth wasn’t quite the profligate Tywin’s father, Tytos, had been, but he certainly was too much a ‘man of the people.’ People, Tywin shuddered at the thought.

What was this nonsense about Jaime marrying the Tarth heir? He received weekly reports on his sons’ activities and by all accounts, Jaime didn’t even know the Tarth hussy. She was likely to be a floozy of the type usually preferred by his younger son, with bleached hair and a surgically enhanced torso. Tywin would have to get a report on her forthwith.

He dashed off a missive to his investigators. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Brienne O. Tarth and he wanted to know now. He felt a niggling curiosity as to what the “O” in her name was. Gods, she could become Brienne O. Lannister. She’d sound Crannogish then with their horrible green beers and discussion of ‘blarney.’ Whatever that was.

How had this strumpet managed to ensnare Jaime, and so quickly? His eldest son was never one for indiscriminate sexual encounters, but perhaps he’d been tricked by the girl. To get Jaime to the altar, she might even be alleging a pregnancy.

He sent another text, asking specifically for the girl’s medical records. Those might be difficult to obtain, but he would insist on a paternity test should there be a child. He would no have any part of his legacy going to a bastard child.

On the other hand, it certainly would help repair the Lannister reputation if this were a true love match. Jaime had always been a foolish romantic. Reuniting the Tarth and Lannister lines along with the display of the Crown would push the images of Tytos Lannister competing in a disco competition from the public’s mind. Hopefully. It had taken years and an unbelievable amount of money to acquire most of the visual evidence of his father’s antics. He’d had to buy Reyne publishing and revamp Castamere Society Magazine. That had been a bloody takeover.

It had also established Tywin as ruthless and that was a good thing.

If Jaime did truly wish to marry this girl, Tywin had to find a way to use it to his advantage. Any of her low-class mannerisms and trailer park appearance would have to be beaten out of her. He sent off a text to Genna, informing her that he needed a team of makeover specialists or whatever they were called to be sent out to this Miss Tarth to make sure she presented as an appropriate bride-to-be for a Lannister.

This wedding could be a good thing. A very good thing. If she could be molded into the proper wife.

He needed to know more. He dialed a number. His youngest son answered.

“I am assuming that Jaime has asked you to be the best man at his wedding?” That should catch the dwarven bastard off-guard.

Without missing a beat, Tyrion answered, “Of course.”

“So you know this Tarth woman?”

“Certainly, Father,” Tyrion answered jovially.

“And you approve of this rushed wedding?” Tywin asked.

“I would never go against you, Father,” came the answer.

Tywin ground his teeth. “Tyrion have you even heard a word I have said or are you just answering every question in the affirmative?”

“Yes, it’s just as you say,” Tyrion responded.

Tywin petulantly considered throwing his phone against the wall or locating a umpire’s whistle to blow into the receiver. He chose to be more devious. “So, you shall get Jaime and his fiancée back from Tarth and we shall meet for dinner tomorrow in King’s Landing?”

“Indeed,” his son replied.

“Excellent. I will text you the details and see you then,” Tywin barked.

“Details of wha—“ Tyrion got out before Tywin disconnected the call.

Hah, he thought. Served that child right for not listening. He mentally flipped through the list of horrific jobs that needed completed now that Tyrion’s inventory of Tytos’ documents was near finished. Perhaps he’d assign the boy to inspect the sewer systems of Casterly Rock. Personally inspect.

In the meantime, he had a flight to catch to King’s Landing. He was almost looking forward to meeting this Brienne O. Tarth.
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Shareece22
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Ser Cleos
hahahaha. this is so epic.
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Mikki
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ChillLord
My headcanon is that the Crannogmen are the Irish of Westeros. I cannot be shaken from this.
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