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She brought a pig home without telling him; Reddit thread
Topic Started: Apr 4 2018, 01:47 AM (3,408 Views)
Aqua
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Sad Sack Puppy
My [25M] fiancee [26F] brought a pig home without talking to me about it first

There's really not a lot I can say about this situation. I got home yesterday from my day out, and I was greeted by a baby pig running around the house. It's name is Sir Lancelot. I had no idea she was going to adopt a pig. We've talked about getting a dog at some point, but not a pig. She didn't talk to me about getting a pig because according to her it was a split choice she made.

I've been biting my tongue and trying not to be mean about this because we just had her dad's funeral last week, but I'm not the happiest right now about this. How do I go about this? I don't want to send an animal back. I don't know how I'm suppose to approach talking to her about this because of the timing.

TL;DR: Fiancee's father had his funeral last week, and she brought home a pig yesterday without talking to me about it. How am I suppose to approach this?

Link

—————

Uhhhhhh...
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BeerNutz
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Hammer5ed
I WAS JUST READING THAT!

And I learned that kunekunes are a type of pig and I have been looking up stuff about them for 15 minutes. I need a kunekune!
Edited by BeerNutz, Apr 4 2018, 02:07 AM.
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Dori
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It was her dad’s funeral, learn to love the pig, they’re cleaner than dogs.
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Terabethia
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~*~Terabeara~*~
Quote:
 
I've been biting my tongue and trying not to be mean about this because we just had her dad's funeral last week, but I'm not the happiest right now about this. How do I go about this? I don't want to send an animal back. I don't know how I'm suppose to approach talking to her about this because of the timing.



Well then, you STFU and get over it.

I get being annoyed, but if he is okay with keeping it then there is no point in telling her that he is unhappy about it. She is grieving for crying out loud!
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Walternate
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Walternate is a fuzzy smurple.
She came home with a pig without ever consulting him. It would be bad enough to do that with a dog or cat but an uncommon animal makes it worse. He didn’t sign up to live with or care for a pig. The timing sucks and grief is weird but he’s entitled to his feelings. They will need to discuss it at some point and the sooner the better for the pig’s sake.
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3rd Time's Not So Charming
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Walternate
Apr 4 2018, 03:11 AM
She came home with a pig without ever consulting him. It would be bad enough to do that with a dog or cat but an uncommon animal makes it worse. He didn’t sign up to live with or care for a pig. The timing sucks and grief is weird but he’s entitled to his feelings. They will need to discuss it at some point and the sooner the better for the pig’s sake.
This is where I'm at.

He should be nice about it, but definitely say something.

In his shoes, I'd be more than a little annoyed.
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The Girl From Middle Earth

I can see why he would be annoyed but Kune Kunes are awesome pets. They can be house trained and treated the same as a dog.

Lots of people here have pet Kune Kunes. I want a pair myself.
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The Girl From Middle Earth

Kune Kunes are massive BTW.
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O Ren
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The Girl From Middle Earth
Apr 4 2018, 03:51 AM
Kune Kunes are massive BTW.
The Wikipedia article said they can grow up to 200kg :O :O :O
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allycat

Walternate
Apr 4 2018, 03:11 AM
She came home with a pig without ever consulting him. It would be bad enough to do that with a dog or cat but an uncommon animal makes it worse. He didn’t sign up to live with or care for a pig. The timing sucks and grief is weird but he’s entitled to his feelings. They will need to discuss it at some point and the sooner the better for the pig’s sake.
I agree. That wasn’t cool.
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Strawberry Blondie
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Grieving for a parent doesn’t excuse getting a baby pig without consulting your partner.
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Pebs
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Orgasmic Peace Destroyer
Walternate
Apr 4 2018, 03:11 AM
She came home with a pig without ever consulting him. It would be bad enough to do that with a dog or cat but an uncommon animal makes it worse. He didn’t sign up to live with or care for a pig. The timing sucks and grief is weird but he’s entitled to his feelings. They will need to discuss it at some point and the sooner the better for the pig’s sake.
Yep I agree. I also wouldn't want to set the precedent that making big decisions without discussing them with the other person is acceptable. That absolutely wouldn't fly in my house.
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TudorFan
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Kate Middleton Board, sparkling goddess of whimsy
Strawberry Blondie
Apr 4 2018, 06:25 AM
Grieving for a parent doesn’t excuse getting a baby pig without consulting your partner.
This. Grief doesn't give someone a pass to do whatever the hell they want with no consequences.
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TudorFan
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Kate Middleton Board, sparkling goddess of whimsy
This ticks me off. I love animals, but I'd be freaking livid in this guy's shoes. Pigs are really difficult pets and they get freaking HUGE. I'm shocked that anyone would think this is remotely ok.
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greenbean
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Queen Bean
Walternate
Apr 4 2018, 03:11 AM
She came home with a pig without ever consulting him. It would be bad enough to do that with a dog or cat but an uncommon animal makes it worse. He didn’t sign up to live with or care for a pig. The timing sucks and grief is weird but he’s entitled to his feelings. They will need to discuss it at some point and the sooner the better for the pig’s sake.
This. It's a red flag to me that she didn't even mention the idea before getting it. Not cool.
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Oh My Stars
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Bored Darling
Personally, I'd love to come home to a baby pig, but I understand that not everyone feel the same way.

I think he (he, right?) needs to either accept it or speak up, and do it soon. Once she gets attached to the pig he may find he's the one put up for adoption.
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Lady Wolf
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Holy Cow (or pig) those things can get to like 400 and something pounds. It's not like a she got a cat or large dog

I'm sorry she's grieving but to bring home something that is going to get that big and require a specialized vet and such without consulting him is terrible.

There are other things to consider. Do they have a house or apartment? What about zoning laws where they live? Does she know anything at all about caring for a pig? Do they have a vet nearby to take care of it?

ETA: now I want bacon
Edited by Lady Wolf, Apr 4 2018, 08:10 AM.
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Edna
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The One True Sample Size
I swear to Steve this wasn't me!
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allycat

I've had many pigs in my life. Only one was a pet. It was the worst pet I have ever owned in my entire life and the only pet I have ever given up on. I would kill DH if he were to bring one home, but he wouldnt because he was there to experience Pickles.
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Nikki
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Edna
Apr 4 2018, 08:45 AM
I swear to Steve this wasn't me!
ded

I seriously just laughed out loud! Thank goodness no one else is in yet!!!!!!!
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blkcat
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Pigs are destructive. A family member had one that was trained. He was fine when he was young, but has he got older he became destructive and now lives in their barn in a pen like a market pig. They let him out to play in the yard but at night he's back in the barn.
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Aqua
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I mean, just look at the pig and tell him you can’t be with him. Right now.
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Allday
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I can't say much. The day we found out dh's brother died I took him to the animal shelter and we ended up with a dog. I thought it would cheer dh up to see the dogs in general and when we found Calli in there I pushed him into getting her.

In my defense it worked, she helped him through his grief and is a huge bright spot for us. He pretty much picked her out.

I don't know what I would do if my SO came home with a baby pig and it wasn't discussed first.
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AJsGirl
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Judgy McJudgerson, Regional VP of Judging Operations, Division 6
Strawberry Blondie
Apr 4 2018, 06:25 AM
Grieving for a parent doesn’t excuse getting a baby pig without consulting your partner.


Weirdest true statement ever.
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notstillme
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Geek by proxy
A pig? And one that gets that freaking huge? Specialized vet care, how do you care for a pet pig anyway? Like, food, toileting needs, exercise space, how are they in colder weather, etc.

It needs to be discussed and I'm just, ugh IDK able this whole doing something huge like this without even talking about it.
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Walternate
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Allday
Apr 4 2018, 09:29 AM
I can't say much. The day we found out dh's brother died I took him to the animal shelter and we ended up with a dog. I thought it would cheer dh up to see the dogs in general and when we found Calli in there I pushed him into getting her.

In my defense it worked, she helped him through his grief and is a huge bright spot for us. He pretty much picked her out.

I don't know what I would do if my SO came home with a baby pig and it wasn't discussed first.
Completely different as you were both there and making the decision together.
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allycat

Do you guys know how bad pig shit smells? It's bad. Real bad.
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Oh My Stars
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Bored Darling
Don't listen to ally, she has PTPD.

I do remember Pickles, though. He was an asshole.
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momof3inmn
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Lover of all things coffee!
He should check with the city, pigs may not be allowed as pets where he lives=easy out. If they are allowed, dude, say something.
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helent70
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Stirrer of pots.
If it doesn't work out as a pet, at least it'll be tasty?
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allycat

Oh My Stars
Apr 4 2018, 09:55 AM
Don't listen to ally, she has PTPD.

I do remember Pickles, though. He was an asshole.
He turned a rabbit inside out on my front porch!
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Starfish
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hammer5ed
Strawberry Blondie
Apr 4 2018, 06:25 AM
Grieving for a parent doesn’t excuse getting a baby pig without consulting your partner.
I think that's why she did it. How could he disagree without looking like a huge jerk, because her dad just died?

I'd personally be re-evaluating my entire relationship and if there was a previous pattern of unilateral decisions, it would either be a CTJ discussion, or I'd be noping right on out.

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Starfish
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hammer5ed
helent70
Apr 4 2018, 09:55 AM
If it doesn't work out as a pet, at least it'll be tasty?
Dude, that just happened out in BC:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/molly-the-pig-1.4550000
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Aqua
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Sad Sack Puppy
I mean, on a good day, “love me, love my pig” is a dealbreaker. Add in emotional manipulation and my head might explode.
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bballmom
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I was irate DH brought home a guinea pig without consulting me years ago. And we already owned 2 and that thing was 3 lbs and lived in a cage. I love pigs and I'd still be mad at not being consulted.
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BeerNutz
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Hammer5ed
Walternate
Apr 4 2018, 09:53 AM
Allday
Apr 4 2018, 09:29 AM
I can't say much. The day we found out dh's brother died I took him to the animal shelter and we ended up with a dog. I thought it would cheer dh up to see the dogs in general and when we found Calli in there I pushed him into getting her.

In my defense it worked, she helped him through his grief and is a huge bright spot for us. He pretty much picked her out.

I don't know what I would do if my SO came home with a baby pig and it wasn't discussed first.
Completely different as you were both there and making the decision together.
Also, dog. Not pig. Dog.
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Starfish
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hammer5ed
BeerNutz
Apr 4 2018, 09:59 AM
Walternate
Apr 4 2018, 09:53 AM
Allday
Apr 4 2018, 09:29 AM
I can't say much. The day we found out dh's brother died I took him to the animal shelter and we ended up with a dog. I thought it would cheer dh up to see the dogs in general and when we found Calli in there I pushed him into getting her.

In my defense it worked, she helped him through his grief and is a huge bright spot for us. He pretty much picked her out.

I don't know what I would do if my SO came home with a baby pig and it wasn't discussed first.
Completely different as you were both there and making the decision together.
Also, dog. Not pig. Dog.

You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs!

Posted Image
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Aqua
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Sad Sack Puppy
Starfish
Apr 4 2018, 10:02 AM
BeerNutz
Apr 4 2018, 09:59 AM
Walternate
Apr 4 2018, 09:53 AM
Allday
Apr 4 2018, 09:29 AM
I can't say much. The day we found out dh's brother died I took him to the animal shelter and we ended up with a dog. I thought it would cheer dh up to see the dogs in general and when we found Calli in there I pushed him into getting her.

In my defense it worked, she helped him through his grief and is a huge bright spot for us. He pretty much picked her out.

I don't know what I would do if my SO came home with a baby pig and it wasn't discussed first.
Completely different as you were both there and making the decision together.
Also, dog. Not pig. Dog.

You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs!

Posted Image
Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!
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kinalikamom
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Starfish
Apr 4 2018, 09:57 AM
Strawberry Blondie
Apr 4 2018, 06:25 AM
Grieving for a parent doesn’t excuse getting a baby pig without consulting your partner.
I think that's why she did it. How could he disagree without looking like a huge jerk, because her dad just died?

I'd personally be re-evaluating my entire relationship and if there was a previous pattern of unilateral decisions, it would either be a CTJ discussion, or I'd be noping right on out.

+1
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TulipWorthy
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Happily dancing in the tulips
Not cool of her at all. I don't get the ideal that grief excuses you from bad or abnormal behavior.
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Nikki
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A friend of mine got a pig, some kind that was supposed to be small and low maintenance. This thing is about 80 pounds now, lives in the house, is leash trained, and has a special diet. She literally has to meal prep for the pig, had to find a specialized vet (vaccines, etc.), and other craziness. There apparently is a lot that goes into owning a pig!
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Roor
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bad hombre
This thread :wub:
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TudorFan
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Kate Middleton Board, sparkling goddess of whimsy
allycat
Apr 4 2018, 08:48 AM
I've had many pigs in my life. Only one was a pet. It was the worst pet I have ever owned in my entire life and the only pet I have ever given up on. I would kill DH if he were to bring one home, but he wouldnt because he was there to experience Pickles.
Pickles was what I thought of when I first read this. Didn't he suddenly turn really mean?
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Aqua
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Sad Sack Puppy
allycat
Apr 4 2018, 09:57 AM
Oh My Stars
Apr 4 2018, 09:55 AM
Don't listen to ally, she has PTPD.

I do remember Pickles, though. He was an asshole.
He turned a rabbit inside out on my front porch!
SWEET LORD.

No thank you. No pigs for me. Herman just dropped the rabbit she caught. She did not bite or chew him or even shake him. He died, but it was likely from fright caused by being carried around by a large predator.
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allycat

TudorFan
Apr 4 2018, 11:36 AM
allycat
Apr 4 2018, 08:48 AM
I've had many pigs in my life. Only one was a pet. It was the worst pet I have ever owned in my entire life and the only pet I have ever given up on. I would kill DH if he were to bring one home, but he wouldnt because he was there to experience Pickles.
Pickles was what I thought of when I first read this. Didn't he suddenly turn really mean?
He did. He was a good pig until we moved to the country. You would think he would like it in the country, but he just turned very angry. He started chasing the kids and biting them. I was the only one he wouldn't chase.
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TudorFan
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Kate Middleton Board, sparkling goddess of whimsy
My dog Tank killed a rabbit. :(
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TudorFan
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Kate Middleton Board, sparkling goddess of whimsy
allycat
Apr 4 2018, 11:37 AM
TudorFan
Apr 4 2018, 11:36 AM
allycat
Apr 4 2018, 08:48 AM
I've had many pigs in my life. Only one was a pet. It was the worst pet I have ever owned in my entire life and the only pet I have ever given up on. I would kill DH if he were to bring one home, but he wouldnt because he was there to experience Pickles.
Pickles was what I thought of when I first read this. Didn't he suddenly turn really mean?
He did. He was a good pig until we moved to the country. You would think he would like it in the country, but he just turned very angry. He started chasing the kids and biting them. I was the only one he wouldn't chase.
Yikes. I'm guessing pig bites are pretty nasty.
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allycat

TudorFan
Apr 4 2018, 11:39 AM
allycat
Apr 4 2018, 11:37 AM
TudorFan
Apr 4 2018, 11:36 AM
allycat
Apr 4 2018, 08:48 AM
I've had many pigs in my life. Only one was a pet. It was the worst pet I have ever owned in my entire life and the only pet I have ever given up on. I would kill DH if he were to bring one home, but he wouldnt because he was there to experience Pickles.
Pickles was what I thought of when I first read this. Didn't he suddenly turn really mean?
He did. He was a good pig until we moved to the country. You would think he would like it in the country, but he just turned very angry. He started chasing the kids and biting them. I was the only one he wouldn't chase.
Yikes. I'm guessing pig bites are pretty nasty.
They've got some teeth.

Our stock show pigs were always gentle. I think I'm done with the pigs though. I will not encourage the kids to join FFA. I wont discourage it, but I also wont push them in that direction.
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kartmom53
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Considering the animals that DH and I have both brought home, I could see us doing something similar...but it would not be a house pig. My brothers got my dad a pot-bellied pig for his birthday one year, that ended up living in the barn once she got over 100lbs.

DH brought me home 2 baby goats recently...so, yeah. But, if both partners are not on board with random animals it should definitely be discussed.
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Aqua
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Sad Sack Puppy
TudorFan
Apr 4 2018, 11:38 AM
My dog Tank killed a rabbit. :(
Apparently it’s common. I posted to Facebook making light of it and a few people mentioned their dogs had a rabbit or squirrel body count. It’s a dog being a dog IMO. I just watched her for signs of parasites.
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