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I got written up for having maxi pads in my car; from Ask A Manager
Topic Started: Apr 12 2018, 01:21 PM (3,211 Views)
loomatic
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One of my coworkers complained because she saw a package of maxi pads in the backseat of my car when she parked near me in our parking lot. I had stopped at the store on the way into work, and they were in a bag along with shampoo and toothpaste. I got a write-up for it by HR and my boss told me not to do it again and keep them private. I was actually shocked when I was spoken to about it. I want to know if I should push back on this and say anything and how I should do it? I would be curious to hear your thoughts.


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You got written up because someone saw a box of maxi pads in your car??
IN YOUR CAR?
My head is exploding.

What’s going to happen if next time your coworker sees other toiletries in your car, like — gasp — toothpaste? Would she object to seeing a 12-pack of toilet paper too?

This is ridiculous and offensive and misogynist, and you should push back on it. Go back to HR and/or your boss and say, “I’d like you to remove that write-up from my file. There’s nothing inappropriate about having toiletries in my car, whether it’s a pack of toilet paper, a box of maxi pads, or a bottle of shampoo. There’s nothing dirty or shameful about feminine hygiene products, and we’re on awfully shaky ground in penalizing someone for having normal, everyday products in their car just because they happen to be for women. There is no reason that I should have a disciplinary note in my file about this.”

After I initially read your letter, I posted on Twitter about it because I was enraged and Twitter was full of excellent suggestions for you, but I think this one was the best.

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notstillme
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Geek by proxy
What. The. Fuck.
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Pebs
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Orgasmic Peace Destroyer
Can we please get over the whole idea that women's cycles are shameful and should not be mentioned anywhere at all under any circumstances? A box of pads is not a big deal. It's not like she was flinging used tampons around the office.
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Pooby Butt
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Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
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Pebs
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Orgasmic Peace Destroyer
Also, just in case people don't want to click on the links, here is AAM's link to the best suggestion on Twitter. I love it.

Make a briefcase out of opened pads, containing a laptop made of pads, a pen made of tampons, and a legal pad made of pads. Ostentatiously pretend to take notes on the pad pad all day.
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Wannabe Author
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How can HR's response possibly be anything other than 'are you fucking kidding me???'

Workplace discrimination at its finest!

I'm the type who'd probably open a box of tampons and spill them all over my backseat. And leave them there until I had another interview lined up.
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iluvsuomi1989
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The only issue I can see is if the cars are used for work or to transport clients. If that is the case, then the directive for all employees should be: "Cars must be kept clean and all personal items stored out of site, in the event client transport is required."

If that is the company rule and it applies equally to both feminine products and men's shaving cream, and/or a carton of beer, then I don't have a problem with it.

However, if the cars aren't being used for client transport, and they are normally parked in a shared parking lot, then who's beeswax is it what's in the backseat of your car...unless it's a dead body. :ermm:
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Kittycorner
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:O OMG, maxi pads in your car! *clutches pearls*

What also astounds me is that it was another woman who complained. That just adds to it for me.
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Kittycorner
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iluvsuomi1989
Apr 12 2018, 01:33 PM
The only issue I can see is if the cars are used for work or to transport clients. If that is the case, then the directive for all employees should be: "Cars must be kept clean and all personal items stored out of site, in the event client transport is required."

If that is the company rule and it applies equally to both feminine products and men's shaving cream, and/or a carton of beer, then I don't have a problem with it.

However, if the cars aren't being used for client transport, and they are normally parked in a shared parking lot, then who's beeswax is it what's in the backseat of your car...unless it's a dead body. :ermm:
Yeah, leaving a dead body visibly in your car is such a rookie mistake. At least cover it with a rug.
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Sarcastic Pants
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NO. I am sexy and pretty.
Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
In the comments, it is mentioned that the complaining coworker is trans.

That doesn't make this situation okay, but it does give a bit more insight into the motivations of the complaint and subsequent HR action.

It isn't hard for me to imagine a situation where a trans person is dog-whistle harassed by their coworkers with "casual" displays of menstrual products. I do not think that is what is happening here, especially because these things were in the LW's car, not out on her desk or anything, but it may account for HR's reaction.
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momof3inmn
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Lover of all things coffee!
Wow.If a person can get written up for something as stupid as that I would probably exit that company as fast as possible. I would not want to work for a company like that.
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Gills
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AssFish
My lawyer would be getting a call.
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2of each
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I'd be showing up for work the next day in a skirt made with maxi pads. Might even improve the comfort of my desk chair!
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Wannabe Author
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Sarcastic Pants
Apr 12 2018, 01:37 PM
Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
In the comments, it is mentioned that the complaining coworker is trans.

That doesn't make this situation okay, but it does give a bit more insight into the motivations of the complaint and subsequent HR action.

It isn't hard for me to imagine a situation where a trans person is dog-whistle harassed by their coworkers with "casual" displays of menstrual products. I do not think that is what is happening here, especially because these things were in the LW's car, not out on her desk or anything, but it may account for HR's reaction.
Still a massive overreaction on HR's part. I'd compare complaining about the contents of my car as a step away from complaining about spotting a tampon in my purse when I pulled out my wallet to to contribute to a work thing like a baby gift.
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KattyKatzz
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Parenthetically
Can you imagine the horror for that employee if it had been tampons?

Yeah, my grocery list would be one my desk: Pads, Ice Cream, Chocolate, TP, Midol. Actually, that was all I bought once.
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Kanye West
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That’s fucking crazy.
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Figment
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I would have said you’ve got to be kidding me to HR while lmao.
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Puddles
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I would stick those pads on my windscreen spelling out the words “FUCK YOU”.
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notstillme
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Puddles
Apr 12 2018, 02:06 PM
I would stick those pads on my windscreen spelling out the words “FUCK YOU”.
Get a new job, then use them to spell out I quit on the boss's windshield. Maybe hr person, too, like if you can get a sale.

Or use panty liners, you get more of those in a box.
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Aardi
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Book Pimp
What a bunch of fucking bullshit.
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collegebound
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Wannabe Author
Apr 12 2018, 01:47 PM
Sarcastic Pants
Apr 12 2018, 01:37 PM
Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
In the comments, it is mentioned that the complaining coworker is trans.

That doesn't make this situation okay, but it does give a bit more insight into the motivations of the complaint and subsequent HR action.

It isn't hard for me to imagine a situation where a trans person is dog-whistle harassed by their coworkers with "casual" displays of menstrual products. I do not think that is what is happening here, especially because these things were in the LW's car, not out on her desk or anything, but it may account for HR's reaction.
Still a massive overreaction on HR's part. I'd compare complaining about the contents of my car as a step away from complaining about spotting a tampon in my purse when I pulled out my wallet to to contribute to a work thing like a baby gift.
+1.

I still dont think it would matter if it were on the LW's desk. The LW didn't leave them on the coworkers desk. I'm not making a political statement by keeping emergency tampons/pads in my desk. I'm not making a political statement by keeping that shit in my car either.
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FarmMa
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I feel like I must be missing something here. It makes no sense!
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Peebles
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What the what now? I need an update that says the HR person who made the write up grovels at the OPs feet for forgiveness. I have never heard such utter bullshit.
Edited by Peebles, Apr 12 2018, 03:23 PM.
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Sam
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2of each
Apr 12 2018, 01:42 PM
I'd be showing up for work the next day in a skirt made with maxi pads. Might even improve the comfort of my desk chair!
Posted Image
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Starfish
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hammer5ed
Sam!

:wub:
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FarmMa
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Starfish
Apr 12 2018, 03:50 PM
Sam!

:wub:
+1

My hero!

(Sam, not the lady modeling that fashionable outfit.)
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speducator
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I’d be fighting this one. They are in my CAR, are NOT a weapon, and are basic hygiene items.

I keep a stash at work - both for myself AND for female students who need emergency supplies. They would be writing me up for having a legal item I provide to students. Dumb.
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Cecilia
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Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
The co-worker who complained is transgender and apparently felt offended because it was flaunting her Cis status. (I know - totally stupid). apparently HR was buffaloed by that detail.

This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read; what was the co-worker doing snooping in her car in the parking lot?
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Starfish
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hammer5ed
Cecilia
Apr 12 2018, 04:41 PM
Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
The co-worker who complained is transgender and apparently felt offended because it was flaunting her Cis status. (I know - totally stupid). apparently HR was buffaloed by that detail.

This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read; what was the co-worker doing snooping in her car in the parking lot?
^o) You know what's even more flaunty of Cis status than maxi-pads? Babies. Did she (complainant) also get offended by and have HR write up every employee who has a carseat in their car? Or pictures of their children in their workspaces? That would be my rebuttal to HR, along with a demand to remove the complaint from my file.

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GirlGreen
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That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.



Plus, if that's the route we're taking, plenty of transgender people still use maxi pads.
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ft12
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Yeeeesh
I have such a hard time believing this is real.

I just don't believe it.
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TAZ
I gerenukked my neck
I would love to know if the boss's reaction would have been the same if there had been a box clearly marked jockstrap...umm athletic supporter. Jockstrap, athletic supporter, who cares...it still means holding up and cushioning the 'testiculars' and the penis. Wonder if boss man is skittish about things to do with his mens parts?
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iluvsuomi1989
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Starfish
Apr 12 2018, 04:53 PM
Cecilia
Apr 12 2018, 04:41 PM
Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
The co-worker who complained is transgender and apparently felt offended because it was flaunting her Cis status. (I know - totally stupid). apparently HR was buffaloed by that detail.

This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read; what was the co-worker doing snooping in her car in the parking lot?
^o) You know what's even more flaunty of Cis status than maxi-pads? Babies. Did she (complainant) also get offended by and have HR write up every employee who has a carseat in their car? Or pictures of their children in their workspaces? That would be my rebuttal to HR, along with a demand to remove the complaint from my file.

or who is pregnant? :unsure:
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Roor
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bad hombre
ft12
Apr 12 2018, 05:01 PM
I have such a hard time believing this is real.

I just don't believe it.
There has to be parts left out. Right?
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ft12
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Yeeeesh
Roor
Apr 12 2018, 06:03 PM
ft12
Apr 12 2018, 05:01 PM
I have such a hard time believing this is real.

I just don't believe it.
There has to be parts left out. Right?
It just seems so...... 1950's
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Terabethia
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~*~Terabeara~*~
I be having a nice little chat with HR about this.

Then I'd have a box of tampons permanently sitting right on the middle of my desk for the rest of my employment there. Which wouldn't be much longer.
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Roor
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bad hombre
ft12
Apr 12 2018, 06:06 PM
Roor
Apr 12 2018, 06:03 PM
ft12
Apr 12 2018, 05:01 PM
I have such a hard time believing this is real.

I just don't believe it.
There has to be parts left out. Right?
It just seems so...... 1950's
I just can't believe any qualified HR manager would think this was acceptable.
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Walternate
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Walternate is a fuzzy smurple.
I’m guessing in their haste to keep the transgendered employee happy to avoid any type of lawsuit that they were over zealous in their response to the LW. I agree with seeking legal advice.
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2anjuliboys

Roor
Apr 12 2018, 06:17 PM
ft12
Apr 12 2018, 06:06 PM
Roor
Apr 12 2018, 06:03 PM
ft12
Apr 12 2018, 05:01 PM
I have such a hard time believing this is real.

I just don't believe it.
There has to be parts left out. Right?
It just seems so...... 1950's
I just can't believe any qualified HR manager would think this was acceptable.
The complainer was a transwoman. I'm just thinking that has something to do with it, because it's the only thing that I can think if that would make the other women in HR/management think this was something worthy of writing up.

Maybe there have been issues the LW isn't aware of involving harassment of the complainer?

I don't know, it does seem so far out there.
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greenbean
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Queen Bean
Cecilia
Apr 12 2018, 04:41 PM
Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
The co-worker who complained is transgender and apparently felt offended because it was flaunting her Cis status. (I know - totally stupid). apparently HR was buffaloed by that detail.

This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read; what was the co-worker doing snooping in her car in the parking lot?
Now I believe it even less. There are so many anti trans weirdos out there they probably made it up to make them look bad. The whole bathroom nonsense wasn't working so.....
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ft12
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Yeeeesh
greenbean
Apr 12 2018, 07:04 PM
Cecilia
Apr 12 2018, 04:41 PM
Pooby Butt
Apr 12 2018, 01:25 PM
Can you imagine the outrage if she had visible **gasp** condoms or **feeling faint, whispers** birth control?!?!?!?



The write up from HR is ridiculous, but I don't know if I'm even MORE outraged over the fact the LW said the CW was a "she" instead of a "he".
The co-worker who complained is transgender and apparently felt offended because it was flaunting her Cis status. (I know - totally stupid). apparently HR was buffaloed by that detail.

This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read; what was the co-worker doing snooping in her car in the parking lot?
Now I believe it even less. There are so many anti trans weirdos out there they probably made it up to make them look bad. The whole bathroom nonsense wasn't working so.....
I agree with the bean, this seems so unrealistic. Maybe I just don't want to believe people are this stupid?
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blkcat
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I'm glad the windows are tinted in my SUV.
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Helen
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This can't be real. Co-worker snoops, goes to boss to say she snooped, boss gets so outraged, not with the snooper but with what the snooper found...i.e. NOT a rifle, stolen stationery or posters saying "Fuck You, Boss" but sanitary products. And HR followed up on it?? Either it didn't happen, she works for Trump or there is the omission of part of the story.
Edited by Helen, Apr 13 2018, 04:35 AM.
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OR rainy
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Dontcha!!!!!!
I think there is more to the story than what was written here.
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sfm

count me among not buying it. why would anyboss care whatis anemployee's car unles (a) the car also has an employee parkign or simialr that ids ther person as working for us and ( b) the thing is controverail could hurt busiones because oneiof us iasasociated withit. Even if A is true in thiscase,B isnoit.
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Peebles
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I hope it's fake but I got hauled into HR TWICE for "sighing to much." I'm an assistant in Corporate America and was dealing with a very difficult admin on the client side. It's a wonder I don't have a permanent bruise from all the headdesking I was doing. I probably was sighing "too much" but hell, since when is that an HR matter? Apparently, this was extremely offensive to someone who worked near me and she went running to HR about it. Twice.

Nothing came of it because stupid reason but I don't doubt there are some dumbass people out there. And with the info about the Offended Party, I'm wondering if HR wasn't trying to CTA and went way too far in the other direction.
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sfm

Pebbles iget your frusation, but atleast t hat atleast indirectly relates to your work, maybe thoght bad attidue etc, How does what LW has in her car relate at all to her work, and evenif she had the pads b/c she neded or thogh she might that day NOBODY who isnot a time travler for the 18th century beleives a woman with her period isnot as good or as a poor a worker that day as any other.
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jeni_4
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If this is true, I'd be filing a counter complaint against my coworker for snooping in my personal belongings. Depending on the employer, I might even mention something about being stalked and invasion of privacy - I mean, the coworker had to actively look in the car, then figure out whose car it is, and then file a complaint against the LW.
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sfm

Jeni that is whatit makes sound untrue or ther e ismore herethan meting the eye, who would care enough for all that? If iwere themanger, notm sure I be discpling the snoper, be w ouldgivng hm/her a lot of work, thios is some one with way too muich time on hands.
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no imagination
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Helen
Apr 13 2018, 04:34 AM
This can't be real. Co-worker snoops, goes to boss to say she snooped, boss gets so outraged, not with the snooper but with what the snooper found...i.e. NOT a rifle, stolen stationery or posters saying "Fuck You, Boss" but sanitary products. And HR followed up on it?? Either it didn't happen, she works for Trump or there is the omission of part of the story.
ROFLMAO

Is kinda like working for my boss.
We have a ladies and mens room at work. I REFUSE to clean the mens room (*gag* They are not paying me enough) so boss started using the ladies room.
I started locking it.
He is a locksmith and owns picks.
I started storing an industrial size box of tampons right next to the toilet. Right in line of sight when one first opens the door.
Problem solved.
Bonus: I'm of the age where I don't even need tampons anymore.

Yeah, were I the OP, I'd deck out my rear view mirror with tampons for 'fussy dice'
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