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How We Became Fire; James short story
Topic Started: September 2, 2010, 5:12 am (19,014 Views)
Izzy
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Outlaw Torn
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Awesome!! They're having twins!! :nanner: :nanner:
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Hawkeye
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Blackened
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Yay for twins! And yay for more obnoxious stuff! :nanner:
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Scorpion Flower
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Hawkeye
February 9, 2011, 7:06 pm
Yay for twins! And yay for more obnoxious stuff! :nanner:
:lol: :lol:
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xlau05
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Blackened
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Scorpion Flower
February 10, 2011, 6:07 am
Hawkeye
February 9, 2011, 7:06 pm
Yay for twins! And yay for more obnoxious stuff! :nanner:
:lol: :lol:
+1! haha
what a surprise :biggrin great chapter! more please :heart:
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4everJamie
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Some Kind Of Monster
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James being jealous was too cute :P
Twins? OMG :blink: :lol: :lol:
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Scorpion Flower
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As the time went by I began to record with Katatonia at Sausalito’s studios. My belly grew huge and none of my clothes would fit me anymore. I felt extra tired but I was determined not to stop working and, at least, until Katatonia’s album was done I couldn’t stop, I had to comply with my contract and that was stay with them until de record was finished.

I was doing an incredible effort to cope with the work, with all the hours I had to spend sat in front of a mixing table and with the fact that most nights I slept little hours and get home really late. Since I was doing this job James and I decided to get married just after the babies were born. We didn’t settle a date but decided that should be after but he was far from being happy with that, I just felt that. It wasn’t so much the marriage itself it was the fact that I was barely home, barely resting and barely spending time with him. Most of the times we only had time to see each other a bit in the morning while I had my breakfast and then when I’d get home he’d sleeping already. Crazy schedule and James was not the most patient person I knew.

Just like every other mother since my pregnancy got in a more advanced state and since my work with the band was getting harder that it wasn’t easy for me to get out of bed or keep my eyes opened. I felt exhausted. It wasn’t even the fact that my almost 5 months belly was huge and I was carrying two babies it was the fact that I slept 5, 6 hours a night and worked non stop the whole day and part of the night. Just like every other morning I punched the alarm clock in my nightstand and cursed a bit rolling on the bed. I whimpered a bit still with my eyes closed and then I just forced them to open. I ran my hand through James’s hair before I got out of there. I envied him a little because he could in fact stay in bed. Dragging my legs along the room I walked up to our bathroom and ran the water to have my morning shower.

When I got back to the room to get dressed I watched James for while. I missed him. I missed talking to him, cuddle with him on the couch, have dinner together like a normal couple, snuggle in bed and make love to him, obviously. We’ve had little time for those lately. I watched him sleep and regretted I wasn’t giving him any attention. I took a deep breath and ran to the kitchen to have my morning meal. I was pouring a cup of tea when his voice made me jump.

“I don’t know what is worth if you had gone to Sweden and I could understand why you’re never here or you being working just a couple of miles away and I always have to go to bed alone.” He said. I looked at him and he still had his swollen sleepy eyes, his hair messed up, bare chest with his hands shoved in the pockets of the trainers he had put on.

“I am sorry.” I told him with pleading eyes. I put my cup of teat on the counter and walked up to him. “I am sorry again.” I told him.

“Is it that hard for you to come home sooner? I mean, I do understand you’re working Ade and I am not here all the time either. I had been on tour but when I am home, I am home but you’re here and you’re not here. I never see you. I never have the chance to talk to you properly now, and…you’re pregnant. You’re not supposed to work all these hours. Last time you had been to the doctor she told you to slow down. You are drained, you don’t even have to tell me that just looking into your eyes and I can see it.”

“It’s almost done.” I told him. He stretched up his hand and grabbed a strand of my hair and played with it.

“I am worried about you. You’re making this super human effort to cope with it. It’s been harder and harder to get out of the bed.”

“I am tired.” I kissed him. “But I am alright. Honestly, I would never put me and our babies in danger. I would stop if I felt anything was wrong.” I reassured him. He cupped my face between his hands.

“I miss you.” He whispered. I kissed him one more time.

“I love you.” I told him.

“Have lunch with me today.” He asked. I looked at him not sure if I should. “Come on Ade…lunch.”

“We’re going to see each other on the afternoon.” I told him.

“For the appointment at the doctor but I want to be with you without those formalities.” He complained.

“Look. I have a better idea. We’ll meet at the doctor and then I won’t come back. Today I’ll work just half of the day. What do you think?” James smiled.

“Promise?” He asked.

“I swear babe. I miss being with you too.”

“I can take you there if you don’t feel like driving and then I can pick you up.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes. Me and the guys are meeting at HQ to discuss some details.” He said. I knew they had been meeting discussing the recording of their new album. Metallica wanted to go back to the studio but they still wanted t discuss a few things.

“Ok, that way we can have more time together.” James kissed my lips tenderly.

“I’m going to have a shower and get dressed then.”

“I’ll make you breakfast meanwhile.” I said. James nodded and headed upstairs running. I took a deep breath relived we didn’t end up fighting. We’ve had a couple during the last month concerning the same subject we talked this morning. I didn’t want to fight with him.

James drove me to the studios he knew all too well, after all he had recorded there before. He parked the car in front of the door and kissed me goodbye under the gaze of Jonas and Danny who were arriving too.

“Hi guys.” I said walking up to them.

“He can come in if he wants.” Jonas said realizing James was not getting out of his car.

“He’s going to a meeting.” I told them. I looked back and waved at James who then made his way to HQ. “Look guys, like you know I have an appointment with the doctor today and I want to ask you if that’s ok if I don’t come back. I feel really tired.” I told them. Jonas put his arm around my shoulder and we began to walk inside.

“It’s alright. You have been doing one hell of a job.” He said. I smiled relieved. I just wanted everything to turn out alright. I didn’t want to damage my relationship but I also didn’t want to damage my work. Tough things to balance. I worked for a couple of hours and then we had lunch all together, fast food that is, and so it reminded me how awful I was feeding my kids. I felt guilty doing so, I had to be more careful, now it wasn’t just about me anymore, it was about them and about James and I was leaving them three behind unconsciously. I hated myself for a moment. James arrived in the studio at 15.30 pm sharply. He texted me warning he was outside waiting for me and it was time to redeem myself. I excused myself to the boys and left for the rest of the day.

“You could come up you know.” I said sitting on the car and bending over him to greet him.

“You know I don’t like to go there.” He said. That was a fact, he had been there once, when the recording began, when Danny was still somehow too interested in my personality and my human part, James lost it a bit and we had a couple of fights then I just asked him to trust me but he never came back in there. We drove to the hospital for another visit to the doctor, I had a visit there at least once a month.

“You can go in.” Alice told us when we arrived. Dr. Smith was inside waiting for us.

“How are you?” She said shaking my hand and then James.

“I am feeling fine.” I told her.

“She has been working too much.” James accused me, I narrowed my eyes at him a little bit.

“Adriana, you can’t. You have to be careful. It’s twins!” The doctor began. “Anyway, let’s take a look at your babies.” She smiled guiding us to the ultrasound. At this point we could already see their heads, their hands, their feet, legs, arms, they were complete babies. James entwined his fingers in mine and I smiled watching my children on the screen. I just wanted to see them, to hold them in my arms. To caress them, kiss them, whatever… “Do you guys want to know the gender?”
I looked at James and James nodded. “Ok.” I said. The doctor began to check carefully, first the baby on the left side.

“Well…” She began “This one’s a baby boy.” She said. By the corner of my eye I saw James grinning. I knew he, secretly, wanted a baby boy. He had two daughters and Castor was his only boy and I knew he wanted another. He had always referred to the baby as a he so that gave him away. “And this one…” She said beginning to check the baby on the right side. “Oh so cute.” The doctor laughed. “It’s a girl.” She dropped the news. I giggled. That was just too perfect.

“At least we made everything with one shot.” James laughed caressing my face not caring the doctor was watching.

“We have to chose the names.” I told him. The appointment reached its end and I just needed to come back the month after if I didn’t feel anything wrong that was.

“Ade, do you mind stopping by HQ a little before we go home?” James asked carefully as he had asked me to spend time with him and now he was the one asking me to go to HQ.

“Not at all.” I kissed him. While driving James grabbed my hand and rested it on his leg resting his own on top of it.

“I thought about Corey.” He said. I smiled at the fact that he had the name chosen already, that proved my theory. I liked the name.

“I like it.” I told him. “Corey…” I said it out loud and it sounded good. “And the girl?” I asked him. “Any idea babe?”

“So he can be called Corey?” He smiled. I nodded. “The girl…” He said thinking.

“I haven’t thought about the names.” I confessed.

“We can leave that one for later.” He said.

He parked his truck next to Lars’s car and we met the other at the kitchen. I sat while they talked about their new album. They were talking about who should mix their sound.

“I thought Ade could do it.” Lars dropped the bomb. I raised my eyes off the magazine I was reading, Kirk and Rob looked at me with a smile and James had his gaze on the table and looked serious, I knew that wasn’t a good reaction. I stood silent waiting for what he was going to tell. “James…” Lars called him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He said not taking his eyes off the table. I looked at him broken.

“Why man? She mad a great job with our sound live.” Lars argued.

“But she’s pregnant and she needs to rest even now the doctor told her she should rest and she’s working at the moment.”

“My recording with Katatonia is almost done.” I said.

“No.” He said determined.

“James!” I exclaimed.

“No Ade! No!” He shouted getting up at the same time. I looked at him with a questioning and pissed look at the same time. Mixing the sound of their new album was basically a dream come true. “Don’t look at me like that. What? You’ve been stuck in a studio for the last 4 months and now you want to be stuck in another one? Where do we go from here? When there will be time for us?” He raised his voice a bit.

“But it’s different. I’ll be there with you!”

“I don’t think we should be discussing this here.” He said. I got up from my chair and walked out of the kitchen totally pissed off at him. I heard James talking to Lars “You better think of someone else, she won’t be doing it.” Then he came to me and I followed him out. I didn’t talk to him until we got home, when he closed the door I burst.

“What the hell?” I shouted. “We would be together in there!”

“What is the part that you need to rest that you don’t get it?” He shouted back.

“I feel fine! I feel tired but I am fine and the babies are fine!”

“Ade you asked to postpone the wedding until after the babies were born because you needed time to organize things and prepare everything and I know that is true but then you don’t seem to mind to work. So tell me, you’re too tired to organize OUR wedding but not too tired to work? I don’t get it…” He said sitting on the couch. So that was it…he was choking on the fact that I had asked him to wait.

“It’s different!”

“How?” He insisted.

“Because I want to be 100% when the day comes you stupid! I want to look pretty for you, I don’t want to be this fat! Plus it’s uncomfortable when we have sex now, we have to be careful with everything and I want in my honeymoon not to think about that! God…I thought you’d understand.”

“You don’t look fat, you look gorgeous.” He whispered. I sat by his side and ran a hand through his hair.

“I just want our wedding to be perfect.” I told him. He pulled to him into a hug.

“I am an idiot.” He said.

“Yeah…” I agreed and he chuckled then he strayed to look into my eyes.

“Still I don’t think it’s a good idea to be stuck in a studio Ade.”

“Hey, we’re together in there and it’s not like I make efforts, I am sat…” He began to shake his head.

“But we fight when we work together and being together there is not the same thing than being at home together, there we’re still in a professional environment. When the babies are born how are you going to be able to go there and finish your work?” I understood his point. It would be hard and their album would definitely take longer than the one I was recoding now.

“I think we can find a way.” I insisted. He took a deep breath and I knew I was getting where I wanted. “Please babe…” I kissed him.

“Shit…” He said smiling. “If I see you too tired you’ll come back home.” He said. I held him close and smiled. “How about Conner?” He asked.

“For the girl?” he shook his head.

“For the boy. I think I like it best and she could be Cayla.” I smiled.

“I like Cayla a lot.”

“Conner or Corey?” He asked.

“I don’t know…”
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4everJamie
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I really think Ade should take more care of herself :)
And
I vote for Corey as the baby boy´s name :P
Thanks for the update :tu:
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xlau05
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Ade should definitely take more care of herself and the babies :)
love it! :heart:
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Scorpion Flower
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I felt my eyes betraying me. I was with my head leaning against the sound table with my arms around it as I flickered and fought my fatigue. I saw the clock, it read 1 am. Being 8 months pregnant wasn’t making my life easy. I had been forbidden to have sex by my doctor, I was supposed not to work long hours but then I did it anyway and my belly was extremely heavy. I tried not to fell asleep while they discussed a note of a song. I didn’t care if the pitch should be higher or not, my fight was another one. My fight was trying to keep my eyes open and not fall asleep during work.

I felt a familiar touch on my head and I opened my eyes. Guess I momentarily lost my fight.

“Ade…” James called me. “Babe…” He bent over me kissing my cheek.

“I’m sorry.” I said raising my head off the table.

“It’s ok. Let’s go home love.” He said with a sweet tone. Then he spoke to the proof sound room where Lars was. “We’re going home man.” He said to the inside through the micro. Lars came up to us.

“Already?” He asked.

“It’s 1 am. She was sleeping. We can’t do this.” Lars looked at me like asking me if I could stay longer and I just offered him my exhausted smile and shook my head lightly.

“I am sorry.” I told him.

“I can’t do this man.” James told him. “She’s my girlfriend man and these are my kids.” Lars nodded at him and patted his arm.

“You’re right. We have time to do this album.” I kissed his cheek when I got up from my chair.

“Thanks for understanding.” I told him.

“I also have a girlfriend that I love and I have kids. I know it hurts and I am your friend above all things. You’re doing a great job but you need to rest for sure.” I smiled at his words and then I turned to James.

“I just need to go to the bathroom before we get home.” The babies put too much pressure on my bladder and I had to go before I locked myself in our car.

“Sure.” He kissed my forehead and I left them alone in the room. My kidneys were killing me and I had a light pain on my womb. I rubbed it on my way to the bathroom thinking it had been the position in which I was sleeping on the chair. It wasn’t until I peed that I knew something was wrong. I noticed I had stopped peeing but water was still coming out. Just a few drops at first and then some more, that together with the pain. I grabbed some towel that I put between my legs and then pulled my jeans up the best I could. I washed my hands and went to meet James again.

“Ready?” He asked as he saw me. I winced a bit. “What is it?” He asked coming up to me.

“You need to take me to the hospital.” I told him. James looked me in the eye and I nodded as I understood what his eyes were asking and he smiled.

“Guess this album is going to wait a while.” He said laughing to Lars who laughed too.

“We knew that would happen.” Lars said. “Ade, good luck.” He told me. I smiled at him and James walked me up to the car.

“Are you ok?” He asked me while he started the engine.

“The pain is getting heavier.” I said wincing a bit.

“Just stay calm love. It will be alright.” James was trying to sound calm not to make me more nervous but as he grabbed the wheel I saw his hands tremble. It doesn’t matter how many times you have lived this moment, when it’s here you don’t manage to remain serene. Plus we were living it together for the first time. At that hour of the night there was no traffic so we got to the hospital fast.

“Want to grab you a wheel chair?” He asked.

“No, I think I can walk.” James nodded and got out the car helping me stand. I leaned on him while he helped me in.

“Is Dr. Smith here?” He asked when we got to the reception.

“I believe she is sir. Let me check.” The nurse began to check the night shifts and found her. “Yes, she’s here. I am going to try and catch her.” The nurse left us waiting. I winced again.

“Awwww…” I whimpered. James put a hand in my face pulling me closer and kissed the top of my head.

“I know it hurts babe. Stay calm.” After a couple of minutes waiting and me whimpering more and more I saw my doctor coming.

“Oh! Adriana!” She exclaimed seeing me.

“Her waters broke almost an hour ago.” James informed her.

“They’re coming.” She told me smiling but the pain was beginning to be unbearable and I didn’t say a word. “You can follow us.” She told James and he grabbed my hand. I wanted him to be with me the whole time. I knew I wasn’t going to give birth naturally because one of the babies was sit so I knew I’d have to do surgery but I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait until that happen. Dr. Smith put me in a private room and a nurse began to prepare me.

“I won’t be giving you epidural as the doctor said you were going to surgery right away, try to be strong.” The nurse smiled at me and I just laid on bed naked just in a green hospital gown waiting to be taken to an OR. I laid back and tried to forget I was in such incredible pain. James sat by my side and grabbed my hand and began to caress my face.

“Does it hurt?” He asked. I just nodded I was on the verge of screaming in agony but I was trying to hold it inside until I could no more.

“ARRRRGGGGG…” I shouted as I felt something like pulling my insides out and tears began to fall.

“Breathe Ade…” James told me. I looked in his eyes and he also had tears. In between a contraction and another I took my hand to his eyes and cleaned his tears He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm.

“I love you sweetie.” He told me with his lips trembling. I guess emotions were just floating and we couldn’t held them inside anymore. I sure couldn’t hold my pain or take it. Every time my womb squeezed me I screamed at the top of my lungs until they finally came into the room and took me down. James prepared himself to follow me, he was also in a green gown and when we reached the OR he was given gloves, a mask and a bandana. I felt nervous, my heart was beating too fast and my legs were shaking. I couldn’t hear straight anymore as my pain was just consuming me.

“Adriana can you count to ten backwards for us?” The nurse asked as she administrated something on my vein. I remembered saying ten and then nine, eight was already a blur and then I just passed out.

*********

I blinked a couple of times before I could open my eyes. I couldn’t see well, everything was a blur. I focused a point and tried to focus, little by little my vision became clear. I was staring at a ceiling but I wasn’t sure where I was. I saw some bottles and tubes that led to my arm and then I realized I was in the hospital All became clear in a minute. I turned my head to see James passed out on the couch and near him two glassed cribs but I couldn’t see my babies as they were covered. I wanted to see them, my babies were just in front of my eyes and I still couldn’t see them I thought of calling James but then I saw him so heavy sleeping that I refrained.

He was sat, straddled legs, back against the couch. His mouth slightly opened, he was cute, he was gorgeous even sleeping. I closed my eyes again as I still felt tired but then a cry made me open my eyes again. I tried to move but I felt pain and then I saw James moving. He rubbed his eyes and moved slowly towards one of the cribs.

“Cullen, come on boy.” He talked to the baby. So it was my baby boy crying. After Corey and Conner we finally decided for Cullen. He picked the baby up in his arms and there I saw my son for the first time. So tiny and defenseless. “You’re not hungry, your diaper is changed…what do you want uh?” James talked to him rocking him in his arms. Cullen went silent and James smiled. “Yeah…I thought so. You just want some cuddles.” He said kissing our son.

“James…” I called him with tears rolling down my eyes. He looked up at me and smiled walking up to me at the same time. He put Cullen against my chest and I held him in my arms almost sobbing. James kissed my forehead.

“He gave me one hell of a night.” He complained.

“I slept the whole night?”

“Yep. You did, I guess you were too tired and it was the effect of the anesthesia too. He looks a bit like you.” James said looking at Cullen.

“You think?”

“Yeah…Cayla looks like me.” I looked at the other crib.

“You fed them?” I asked.

“Of course…Are you in pain?” He caressed my hair but I shook my head.

“I just can’t move. I tried to get up when he cried but I just couldn’t”

“No babe, you can’t. I am here ok. The doctor said she’ll come here during this afternoon. Everything went well. They are fine and you’re good too.” Suddenly Cayla tested her lungs. She cried loud. James went to her and brought her near my bed. I peeked at her in his arms. Yes, she was just like him even though they were so little and they would change. “And this is your daughter.” He said turning her up to me.

“They are so beautiful.” I said.

“Yeah…” James said proudly looking at both babies, then both of them cried at the top of the lungs. We laughed.

“This is the real thing now.” James chuckled. I held Cullen really close to my body so he could feel me. I read during my pregnancy that newborn babies missed the contact with their mother since they didn’t feel so protected and so I held him close to my chest warming him up with my own body after a while his crying subsided and he was quiet again and James managed to calm down the little girl as well.

“This is gonna be a lot of hard work.” I told him. I was so happy there were not enough words to describe it. James sat back on the couch holding Cayla in his arms.

“Prepare yourself love. They are gonna give us hell. Oh yes they are.” I smiled looking at him.

“I love you.” I said from far.

“I love you too.” James looked down at the baby in his arms and then looked back at me. “Look at us. We’re a family now.”

“Not in a million years I thought of this. Never.”

The door of the bedroom opened and Lars and Connie came in. Connie carrying a bunch of flowers.

“Look at them, each one with the arms occupied.” Lars laughed. “I don’t envy you guys. Ready to some sleepless nights Het?” He teased.

“I already had my first sleepless night.” He complained with a smile.

“No one sleeps until they sleep, remember?” Lars laughed and Connie too.

“They are so cute.” Connie said. Lars took Cullen off my hands and looked at him.

“Damn. Hard work, sleepless nights but they are just awesome and it’s worth it. Hey there little guy. It’s uncle Lars.” He baby talked.

“None of us is going to the studio so soon.” James commented.

“I know that! You guys go when you’re ready.” Lars was now just too mesmerized with Cullen to care about the rest of us.

“Don’t run away with my son.” James laughed and joked.

“I might.” Lars said smiling like a fool at the baby on his arms.
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4everJamie
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"James looked down at the baby in his arms and then looked back at me. “Look at us. We’re a family now.”
Posted Image
Awwww!!

And Lars "drooling" all over the baby was too cute :lol:

What an adorable chapter!! Posted Image
:tu:
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Hawkeye
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I just read the last couple of updates and melted! :heart:
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xlau05
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awwwww they are a family now! great chapter, so sweet :heart:
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Scorpion Flower
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I opened my eyes wide as Cayla burst into a desperate cry. I was just about to fall asleep when her desperate calling brought me back to reality. The clock read 3 am and I haven’t slept an hour in a row. It had been like that since the babies were born three weeks ago. I pulled the covers away and got up towards the crib James and I put in our room. They slept in the same crib.

“Hey…” I whispered trying not to take her in my arms but her crying wasn’t subsiding and James was beginning to stir a lot. I picked her up just to be sure he kept on sleeping but then it was Cullen’s turn. I grabbed Cayla in one arm and with my free hand I tried to rock Cullen back to sleep.

“Oh Christ…” James said out loud. “Can’t they give us just a moment of peace?” James had been back to the studio with the band and I was the one staying at home. We were both exhausted and a bit cranky.

“I’m gonna take them downstairs. You try to sleep ok?” I told him and James didn’t answer he just turned around on the bed and covered his head with the blanket. I grabbed Cullen the best I could and took them both to the living room. I laid them both on the couch and I crouched in front of them and began to massage their bellies. Having two babies was far from being an easy task, everything was doubled. I was drained and exhausted, James was drained and exhausted and I just wanted to help my kids and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to have time for James and I didn’t have any, I also wanted to be there for him but in the middle of all this he was the one that needed me the least. He was independent, the babies needed me all the time. I began to cry, I sobbed of despair while trying to ease the pain in the babies belly, I sobbed…just because I wanted to cry and nothing else. I felt James hand on my shoulder.

“I am sorry I yelled.” He said.

“You more than anyone, much better than I, knew what was like to have a baby around the house.” I told him. I was hurt. He rested his chin on my shoulder and apologized again. I knew somehow that wasn’t him talking and I didn’t want to fight.
“They are driving me crazy.” He whispered. “I am so sorry babe.”

“And don’t you think they are driving me crazy too? I’d give anything just to be able to sleep a couple of hours straight but they need me and I love them to death and I would do anything for them.”

“I love them too.” He said. “Give me one.” He said stretching his arms. “Let me help you.” I shook my head.

“Go back to sleep. You have to go to the studio in the morning.” I said.

“I wanna help Ade. Come on…let’s not make this a problem for us. It was a rant, it won’t happen again. God…I am an asshole. I should have kept my mouth shut. I love you and I love them ok? I just miss you…now it’s all about them and you never have time for me and we’re always tired.” I sat on the floor next to him and put Cayla on his arms and I grabbed Cullen. James rested Cayla on his legs and she opened her blue eyes for him. I saw him lose his rudeness in instants and he smiled at her with enormous tenderness.

“Are you looking at daddy?” He asked her. “Is the pain gone now? Uh?” She made a face and he laughed loud. James pulled her up with his hands and put her in front of his face. “Can’t you and your brother let mommy and daddy sleep?” Cayla frowned and let out another scream.

“She can’t…” I said giggling a bit. “Cullen is sleeping.” I said showing him the boy sleeping peacefully in my arms.

“She’s here to stay.” He said looking at Cayla who was with her eyes wide open and with her little hand clutched onto James finger. James bent over me and kissed my cheek. “Are we fine babe?” He asked me, I smiled and nodded, kissing his lips right after. “How’s the wedding plans?” He asked.

“I settled everything with the agency that is organizing it. They were here this afternoon and they left some photos of cakes but I forgot to tell you.”

“We’ll take a look at that tomorrow.” I put Cullen on the stroller and sat back against the couch. The girl was beginning to close her eyes as James rocked her.

“She’s closing her eyes.” I hushed and James just nodded, when she finally closed them shut he put her on the double stroller right next to her brother and sat back next to me. Both of us sat on the floor with our back against the couch. I felt his fingers slightly touching my hand and then entwining with mine.

“4 am…” He said. I looked at him helpless, restless…James let go of my hand and put his arm around my neck pulling me to him and kissed the top of my head. “When do they have to eat again?”

“Half an hour.” I dropped the news.

“Oh!” He exclaimed. “Then we better not go far.”

“We could prepare the bottles.” I suggested and when I was about to get up James stopped me.

“No. Stay here. When they wake up we’ll go, now just stay here with me like this.” He said holding me in his arms. “We haven’t been spending much time cuddling and God…I miss you.” I put my arms around his waist and closed my eyes.

“You’re right.” I said agreeing. “I still love you.” I told him and James chuckled.

“I never thought you didn’t.”

“But I just want you to be sure. I am sorry I don’t have all that time to be with you now or if I don’t pay much attention to you babe but then they consume my whole time.”

“Ade, I know and I understand.”

Just like we had thought, half an hour later the babies woke up for their meal. It would be great if they gave us that three hours between meals a rest only they didn’t. They kept awaking, crying. James and I stood with them until 5.30 am until they finally fell into deep sleep and then it was our turn. We fell asleep the second our head hit the pillow. In between small crying and sleeping again James got up at 9 am cursing like a mad man to leave. I had to get up too to feed the babies. James stopped by the kitchen to kiss me and then left. I heard him stumbling on his way out.

“Shit…fuck. Fuck this shit. Fuck.” He cursed as he slammed the door shut. I looked down at my kids in the stroller and smiled.

“You guys are driving your father insane.” I spoke to them. Incredibly they were quiet. James had been cranky the whole time. “Bottle’s done.” I said shaking both bottles then I sat in front of them and put them in their tiny mouths. That was the only way I found to feed two babies at the same time. One bottle at each hand and them laid on the stroller, at least it was practical.

The babies were rather calm for great part of the morning, before lunch time I called the agency telling them which cake James and I chose. We would get marry in two weeks. Not a good idea if you ask me. We were both too tired, the babies were still too little but since we postponed it once, we didn’t want to it again. After lunch I tried to have a nap on the couch while the twins were sleeping but they seemed to know when one was falling asleep. I was trying to calm them down when James got home, much to my surprise.

“Can you please try to keep them down.” He said standing at the living room door’s. I looked at him surprised and mad at the same time.

“I would keep them shut if I could.” I snapped.

“I need to sleep. Please just shut them up.” He said turning around and going upstairs. I thought that was really weird. James being home so soon and in terrible humor. When I got the chance I went upstairs and opened the door of our room. He was sleeping fast. I decided to call Lars.

“Is everything alright between you and James? Did he fight at the studio or something?”

“He was cranky and then he left before lunch and then called saying he was not coming back.” Lars said.

“Wait…he did not have lunch there?” I asked.

“No! I even thought he went to have it with you.”

“He didn’t…” I said thinking. His behavior was weird indeed. The twins began to whimper and I said goodbye to Lars and when I got near them they just began to scream at the top of their lungs.

“I know you’re hungry. Mommy will be right back.” I talked to them. When I was walking from the living room to the kitchen James appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Ade!!” He yelled. “Please shut the kids up for Christ sake.” He was rude and I just got mad.

“If I could shut them up that easily I would moron. Try it yourself!” I shot.

“I just want to be quiet.” He yelled again. I turned my back on him and continued to the kitchen. I was preparing their bottles when he burst into the kitchen and grabbed my hand to turn me to him making me spill the milk over me as he jerked me.

“What are you doing?” I shouted.

“Don’t you fucking turn your back on me when we’re talking.” He said. I turned around to finish the bottles and he grabbed me again. The babies were crying loud in the living room.

“What the fuck?” I told him. “Your children are yelling in the fucking living room hungry, do you mind?” I was getting really nervous. I walked away from him and went to the living room. James followed me.

“Hey, mommy is here. “I said preparing everything to feed them. “Come on babies, shuuu…”

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!! HELL!!” James yelled so loud that I jumped and the babies cried even louder. I looked at him incredulous and walked up to him.

“Get out of here.” I expelled him. “OUT!” I yelled. James didn’t say a word and just walked away. I was shocked with his behavior. I fed the babies crying with the shock. He was rude, arrogant and even violent. I was not used to that. The twins subsided into deep sleep after the bottle and I decided to do the same. I laid on the couch and fell asleep too, waking up again two hours later. I heard the sound of the shower running from upstairs. It was dark already and somehow I expected James to have slept a bit and be in a better mood. As twins were still sleeping I decided to cook our dinner while I had some free time.

“I won’t be home for dinner.” James said at the kitchen’s door. He looked neat, well dressed and freshly showered.

“Where are you going?” I asked him.

“I’m gonna have dinner with some friends and then we’re going to a bar.”

“To a bar?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t give me that look. I can go to a bar!! I can take care of myself.” He defended himself.

“But you don’t go to bars.” I argued.

“Can I go in peace?” He was on the verge of yelling again.

“Keep your voice down.” I muttered. “The babies are sleeping.” I snapped. James turned his back at me walking to the door.

“You don’t tell them to keep it down when it’s their turn to yell.” He said.

“You’re being stupid.” I said running after him.

“Right.” He said without looking back.

“You’re exhausted to be at home but not exhausted to go to a bar?” I told him.

“At least there I listen to some music and it‘s not this hell.”

“James!” I exclaimed but next thing he slammed the door shut with all his strength and then next thing Cullen cried. Tears fell down my face when I heard his truck roaring and leaving.
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xlau05
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Blackened
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,fhrhfwasfla poor Ade!!!!!!! what the fuck James! you should be there helping and supporting her!
a bar? let's hope he won't get drunk or anything... damn :ugh:

more pllllease :biggrin
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Izzy
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Outlaw Torn
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James was being so fucking rude!! :angry and now he's going to a bar... doesn't sound good! :ugh:
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