| Welcome to zetaboards. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| How We Became Fire; James short story | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: September 2, 2010, 5:12 am (19,010 Views) | |
| kamri39 | February 25, 2011, 1:19 am Post #376 |
|
Bad Seed
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
OMG! this is so sad... I hope James goes to rehab before it is too late. Poor Ade... btw, sorry for my english |
![]() |
|
| 4everJamie | February 25, 2011, 11:26 am Post #377 |
|
Some Kind Of Monster
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
![]() James, what´s wrong with you? Riding high on a deep depression? What is it? You can´t leave Ade & the babies...talk to her. ![]() |
![]() |
|
| Scorpion Flower | February 25, 2011, 1:42 pm Post #378 |
|
Outlaw Torn
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
awwww... Thank you all so much!! Kamri, you don't have to say you're sorry for your english, mine has mistakes too as it is not my first language as well:) Here we go ladies. ************************************ James stood still for quite some time looking at me without reaction. I stood there waiting for him to let us in. Cullen opened his eyes blinking a few times until he could keep them open and focus his father. The baby instantly smiled at him and shook his arms and legs waiting for him to pick him up. “Ghhh” Cullen blurted smiling like a fool and franticly waving his arms up and down. With his eyes and face filled with tears James giggled at the boy and took him out of the stroller holding Cullen tightly against his chest and sobbing. I covered Cayla a bit better as we were still on the street and looked back at James, emotionally holding onto to our baby boy. My own tears fell watching him. I knew his head was a mess. “Do you really want to get rid of us?” I asked him with a crying voice. James raised his watered eyes to look in mine and with one arm he pulled me to him, holding both of us. His sobs became louder and I wrapped my arms around his neck crying too. “I love you.” I sobbed. “I don’t want you to leave.” “I just thought you were better off without me.” He said. “But I am not, ok?” My voice being muffled by my sobs and by his shoulder as my mouth was against it. I let go of him and pushed the stroller inside. James closed the door and at the same time Cullen grabbed his nose with his tiny hand, he laughed taking the baby’s hand away gently and kissing it. “I love you little guy.” He said kissing Cullen all over while we walked into the living room. I put the stroller with Cayla near the fireplace that was burning and took the blanket away as it was too hot inside and then I began to take Cullen’s coat too to leave him more comfortable. James kissed my lips while I was doing it and Cullen smacked his face at the same time. “Hey!” James protested with the baby smiling, then he turned to me. “How did you know I was here?” “Pep told me.” I said sitting on the couch. “I was too worried about you so I asked him for help. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow, I knew you weren’t coming.” I said. He let his gaze fall on the floor. “You weren’t coming were you?” I asked and he shook his head. “That’s why I came here.” He sat by my side sitting Cullen on his knees, he made him a face and Cullen giggled in a good mood. Then James stick his tongue out and Cullen stretched out his arm trying to catch it but James pulled away and grinned making him giggle again. “You are crazy for coming here this late.” He said looking at me for a second. “I know…” I told him. “But you need to understand that running away from us is not the solution nor what we want. We are a family and families go through shit together.” James was calm and not drunk which surprised me in fact. “Give dad a high five.” He said to Cullen raising his hand near the baby’s, Cullen who, obviously, didn’t have a clue of what a high five was simply grabbed James’s hand. “Yeah…high five dude.” James played, Cullen giggled all along totally awake. “We need to talk.” He said turning to me again. “We do.” I agreed still afraid with what was on his mind because he was sure happy to see his children but I wasn’t sure if he was happy to see me. I was also confused and torn with all that was happening between us. “James…” I called him ready to ask him if he was happy that I went after him and he must have read the question in my eyes. “You are brave for coming here. You are brave for showing me how much you care. You are brave for still wanting to have me around.” “I love you.” I said justifying my action. “I don’t want to give up without a fight, do you want to give up?” His eyes searched for Cayla, then raided to Cullen and finally dropped on me. “No…” He whispered. That put a rest to my racing heart. “But we still need to talk, I need to tell you things.” “We need to talk indeed.” I nodded. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” He talked to Cullen again. “It’s almost five am buddy.” He rubbed his nose against Cullen’s and the baby closed his eyes. “I am going to bring the stuff from the car.” I said getting up. James got up to help me but I made him sit again. “I’ll do it, it’s ok.” I said not wanting to spoil his moment with his son. He wasn’t spending much time with them and since he was alright it was better to let him do it and Cullen was just so happy, I didn’t want to spoil their moment. I began to take inside the dozen bags I had brought with me. While James played with Cullen I opened the portable bed I had taken with me and put Cayla in it. The babies slept most of the night now, waking up just around 11 pm or midnight to have a late bottle and then slept until the morning, Cullen was up to playing though since he had waken up. “Wanna take your bags upstairs?” James offered. I was happily that upstairs was an open space and that was a room with only one bed, that meant he wanted to sleep with me or maybe he wasn’t sure if I wanted to sleep with him and he asked. I left my bags and came back down. “There’s not enough room upstairs for their bed.” I commented. “It’s ok, it’s a open space and we can still hear them.” The cabin was little but beautiful and cozy. Cullen began to give signs of being tired and wanting to go to sleep again. I changed him to his pajama and rocked him in my arms for a while, meanwhile James was brewing some tea in the kitchenette. When he finally fell asleep I laid him by his sister’s side and adjusted the blanket, then I bent over the bed and kissed each one of them. “He fell asleep?” James asked behind the counter. “Yeah…” I said nodding at the same time. James brought two cups on his hands and sat on the couch, I sat next to him and he handed me the cup of tea. I blown a little as it was hot and I felt his eyes on me while I was doing it. I wanted to talk but I didn’t know where to begin. “You look tired.” He said. “I haven’t slept yet and it’s six am.” “Maybe we should get some sleep and talk later.” He suggested. “No…I want to talk now.” “Ok…” He said nodding. “There’s no alcohol around here.” He began. “You can search around the house, there’s nothing alcoholic. I felt tempted buying it when I had to go shopping for supplies but I came here with a purpose, to get myself clean.” “If you came here with the idea of getting yourself clean why telling me you were not going home? Why pushing us away when you can be here with our support?” I tried to understand him. “I have been through this once. It’s not easy…” “You think you’re better by your own?” James shrugged. “I don’t know Ade…” He sighed and then he dragged himself a little closer to me with his head down. “I’ll crave, I’ll get moody and I don’t want to put my misery down on you and them…” He said pointing at the twins sleeping. “But at the same time it is so good to have you here and know that you’re willing to give me your hand and help me through this. It takes courage!” “When I married you I swore before God that I would stand by your side no matter what. I intend to keep my word. I don’t know how hard this is because I have never been in a situation like this but it can’t be worse than you getting home slurring and stumbling, barely standing on your feet. Not giving a shit about anything or anyone. Now I know you care after all…” “Maybe you should go home and let me do this alone.” He said. I ran a hand through his hair because I was dying to caress him. “Do you want to stay alone? Do you want to go through this alone?” He shook his head. “Then I’ll stay. If you want to do this, I’ll stay with you. I’ll do whatever it takes to have what we had back.” “This is a disease…” “I know it is and I am not sure I know how to deal with it but I will learn. Do you want to stay here, don’t you prefer to go home?” “No…” He shook his again. “I can’t go home Ade. We can stay here for as many time as we need. I can’t go home where everything is at hand, I have to get away from that, at least for now and until I know I can control myself again. Lars is going to kill me…” “I’ll talk to him later alright?” “I am so tired of hurting you of hurting myself. It is so painful to see your disappointed look every day in the morning. The fact that I am slacking on my children is just hideous, I can’t stand myself at the moment. I feel dirty. I feel like scum. I feel guilty for not being able to resist. I fought so hard to be a better person and then I ended up falling into nasty habits again JUST when I have two wonderful babies. God I had two beautiful babies and instead of living that happiness I just went back to the bottle, I can’t forgive myself…I can’t…” Witnessing his pain made me hold him tight against me. “You have to forgive yourself first to make things right. The babies love you no matter what, see, even some time ago Cullen woke up smiling at you and you played with him and made him happy. He was so smiley, have you seen that?” “Yeah…but I also yell at them and they are just babies.” He cried. “They won’t remember that. I love you baby. I love you.” “Oh Ade…I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I just want to be the guy you fell in love with. “I miss him, I am not going to deny it.” I told him. “So we stay here…” I whispered straying and looking into his blue eyes. I ran a hand through his face contemplating the sadness mirrored in them. “I love you.” He said. “Don’t doubt that! Because I haven’t said it to you lately doesn’t mean I don’t, I just feel too ashamed to tell you. I feel like I am hypocrite by putting you into all this pain and then coming up to you and say I love you. I love them too…I just don’t come too close because I am afraid. I don’t go see my other three kids because I am ashamed of myself because they are big enough to understand and I can’t live with the fact that I betrayed them as well.” “The fact that you are admitting all this is a step ahead and just like the first time, you will get out of this, not alone but together. Together we stand.” I said. James cupped my face between his hands and kissed my lips. “I don’t deserve you.” He whispered breaking the kiss gently. “Yes you do. You worked hard to have me here now, remember?” He gave me a faded smile and nodded, then another subject, as delicate as the current one assaulted my mind. “Did you have other women?” “No…no….” He shook his head. “No Ade! I could control that. I swear I did not.” “Don’t lie to me.” I begged him. “If we are doing this we need to do this properly.” “I didn’t have other women Ade. I swear on our children.” I believed in him. “Now we better get some sleep. It’s 8 am.” I nodded and grabbed his hand. We climbed the stairs and James slid under the sheets right away as he was on his sleeping clothes already, I still had to change to mine. While I did that and brushed my teeth James fell asleep. I sat next to him watching him and played with his hair with the tip of my fingers, then my babies woke up…and I still wasn’t able to sleep at all. I went down and prepared their bottles. I tried not to play with them too much so I could try to put them to sleep again and I succeeded. After the bottle and diapers I was able to put my children back to bed so I could, finally, have some sleep myself. Still, as the sun was shinning already I called Lars. “I don’t have very good news.” I said after the usual good morning and hellos. “What is it?” He asked seriously anticipating the news. “James is gonna be out of the studio for undefined time and so will I.” I said carefully. I heard him walk around. “Fuck!” He cursed. “I am sorry Lars but we need to do this.” “I know what he’s been doing the motherfucker. He’s such an idiot for putting himself all over that again. God…right now…I just hate him and it’s not because of the album, it can wait, it is because of what he put himself into. Where is he?” “He’s sleeping right now and I need to sleep too. We are not in San Francisco so don’t bother stepping by our house. I am gonna call Katy to pick up Disco. I also don’t know if he wants to talk to anyone or if he wants to disconnect from everything.” “It’s ok Ade. I’ll talk to Rob and Kirk and when you’re done, you’re done.” “Thanks for understanding.” “He’s lucky to have you by his side now.” “Thanks, you’re a good friend.” Lars and I hung up and after talking briefly to Katy I crawled into the bed to rest my body. I was able to pull the shades down to make the house dark and everything was quiet. James dragged himself to me once he felt me in bed. His hand fell on my hip and I could feel him breathe against my back. With the light sound of his snore I closed my eyes and fell asleep. |
![]() |
|
| Izzy | February 25, 2011, 4:30 pm Post #379 |
|
Outlaw Torn
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Another dramatic part I hope things get better between them now.More!!
|
![]() |
|
| xlau05 | February 26, 2011, 2:00 am Post #380 |
|
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
at least they talked! communication is always something important, I guess its true I hope it will get better now.. can't wait for more!!!
|
![]() |
|
| Scorpion Flower | February 26, 2011, 1:04 pm Post #381 |
|
Outlaw Torn
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Today's chapter:) Hope you enjoy it. *********************** I woke up hearing James’s voice but as my senses recovered from the sleep I realized that he was not near. I felt tired and still sleepy. I looked at my nightstand blinking but there was no watch and my cell was in my purse which was on the chair in front of the bed. I stretched my body and yawned, I felt drained. “No…not there sweetie.” I heard James saying and little scream from Cayla right after. I smiled, such a great feeling to wake up to the sound of my kids and my husband. I pulled the covers away and tried to peak from upstairs but I couldn’t see a thing so I descended half of the stairs until I could see them. James was sat on the floor, his legs crossed and in front of them Cullen and Cayla also sat. Our babies were able to sit already. Between him and them a few toys I had brought with me and James was playing with them. “How about this one?” James talked to them and they both looked at the plastic cow James was holding, then he pressed it and the cow made a noise “Muuuh” and both babies giggled loud followed by James who laughed watching them. “This is cool isn’t it?” He took the cow to Cayla’s belly tickling her and then to Cullen’s doing the same. “Watch out for the monster cow…” He said while tickling their belly’s with it and the babies giggling like crazy. I decided to joined them and when I was right behind James, Cullen felt my presence and looked up. He looked at me with his tiny blue eyes opening a smile and frowning his nose. His smile was huge enough to see the two recent teeth he had. He waved his arms up and down franticly and James without looking back knew I was there. “Who’s there Cullen?” James asked him but Cullen was too busy looking and smiling at me and I was smiling back at him. I sat by James side and both babies began to stretch me their arms. “Mommy…and they forget all about me.” James pretended he complained. I took them both and sat each one at my legs and then I looked at him and he gave me a tired smile. “What time is it?” I asked him. “Almost 4 o’clock.” James answered. I kissed both my children. “Can I have a kiss too?” He said. I raised my eyes to meet his and he smiled again. “Sure.” I said bending over him and pressing my lips against his. James rested a hand in my face to make the kiss longer but the babies began to complain from being muffled in the middle of us. “Did they eat?” I asked him. “Do you think if they haven’t they would be here in such good humor?” He asked me back and I nodded. “Yes, they woke up but you didn’t move so I got up and I saw the soup you put in the fridge and I gave it to them.” “Yeah, I brought that soup with me but I need to buy vegetables to make a new one.” I said. “There’s a supermarket in the village, we can go there.” He suggested. “Yeah, we should.” I said watching as Cayla was trying to catch James shirt. He smiled at her and stretched her his hands and she took it promptly. “Hey…” I protested with her. “You are a sold out lady.” I told her and she smiled. I buried my face on her belly and Cayla giggled. “Miss sold out.” I called her again. Cullen whimpered a bit and James laughed and I did too. “What? No one is paying attention to you?” I said picking him up and burring my face on his belly too, the whimper changed to a giggle in 5 seconds. “Can you watch them while I shower and get dressed?” I asked him. “I think I can manage it.” He smiled. I got up and prepared to go upstairs again but James called me. “Ade…” I looked back. “You better eat something first.” He said. “There’s food in the fridge.” I nodded and changed my path to the kitchenette. James played with the twins while I had fruit with yogurt and then I went upstairs but when I was in the middle of the stairs it was my turn to call him. “James…” He looked up at me. “How are you feeling?” I asked him. I knew he hadn’t been drinking by his behavior and I believed in him when he said he wanted to stop but I also remembered him saying it was going to be hard, that he was going to crave, so it had been a couple of hours, more than 24 hours. “Not bad.” He said taking his eyes off me to help Cayla grabbing a toy. “I have been busy with them which is good, it keeps me occupied.” I smiled and he smiled back. “I’ll be right back.” I said climbing the stairs again. I made the bed before putting myself under a good warm shower. I felt my muscles relaxing a bit as the warm water ran down my body. I think I was there at least 20 minutes but I needed al the time in the world. Beginning to have my skin wrinkled I closed the water and dried myself, I rolled the towel around me and opened the door to go to the room, just as I do it James appeared in the stairs. “They fell asleep?” I asked him. “Yes. I guess I got them exhausted.” He said still with the cow on his hands. I threw the towel on the bed to put on my underwear and his eyes raided my body from feet to my face and back again. His chest was coming up and down as he breathed and when our eyes met I saw his blue eyes darker. I felt his desire but I also knew he was refraining to touch me. Since his drinking became totally out of control that he refrained from touching me, first he began to make love to me without tenderness, just for his own satisfaction and then he stopped touching me completely. But I knew him enough to know he was turned on to see me naked in front of him. I put my underwear back on the bed and walked up to him, standing in front of him. He looked up in my eyes and held his breath a little. “Why don’t you touch me?” I whispered. “’cause I don’t deserve you.” He whispered back. I was there with him, I was willing to fight for life with him, so I decided to show him he deserved me. I had to show him I was there as his wife and that I still wanted him. I grabbed his hands and rested them against my belly. “I want you to touch me.” I said. At first his hands stood still but then they began to slid slowly on my skin and my eyes closed feeling his touch. Feeling me willing at his touch, his hands slid to my back and he pulled me to him in a hasty move. He kissed my belly and my hands clutched onto the back of his head feeling his lips burning on my skin. “Oh Baby…” I whispered at him. I took my hands to his shoulders and pushed him back to the bed then I straddled him. His demanding hands pulled my head down to him and we kissed with fire. The urge of having him again in my arms was too much too allow much romantic or too much cuddles. I was more than ready for him and he was just hard. While we kissed I took both hands to the middle of us and began to undo his jeans, first the belt, then the button and finally the zipper and I pulled them down just enough to free himself. “Wait.” He said. “I don’t want to wait.” I told him. “Ade…I just want it to be different from the last times.” He said in my ear. “And it is.” I whispered. “You are not drunk and that makes everything different.” I raised my hips a bit and began to sink down on him with his hand helping him find the right way in. I exhaled heavily when I fully sat on him and he did too. “I missed you.” I told him and then I began to move. His hands rested on my hips and his fingers squeezed me a bit as I began to rock him. He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip as I moved. I was too turned on to be gentle and to wait or to make it last. As my pleasure build up inside of me, my thrusts became faster and his lips opened sexily in a “oh” and the sound that came from under his throat sent shivers over my body. My legs trembled and my hands did too. James grabbed both my hands with his and our fingers intertwined and I moved around him senseless. My moans were loud and so were his, our bodies moving as one as he began to thrust from underneath me. “Oh…I’m…” James gasped and I felt his body shudder. “I’m gonna come.” He finally said as his body jerked and tensed. He thrust until his last waves of frenzy abandoned him but my body responded to it anyway and I quivered as my orgasm hit me, then I just stood still waiting for my breathing to normalize. James took a hand to my back and pulled me down to him surrounding me with his arms and he kissed my cheek. “I love you.” He said right in my ear. “We’re gonna be ok.” He said. “I swear.” I raised my head a bit and looked in his eyes. They were watered and I kissed his lips in support. “Together, we’ll go through this.” I told him and I cleaned his eyes as his tears were about to fall. “Now let’s go to that supermarket or our children will starve tomorrow.” He smiled, pecked me and took his hands to my hips pulling me up. “Oh…you could have dropped my jeans a little bit lower.” He said as he noticed they were stained with our fluids. “Sorry.” I laughed. James took a quick shower while I got dressed. “You look pretty.” He said sliding into a clean pair of jeans. I was wearing a blue dress. “I bought it the other day.” I said spinning around. “Looks great. I am ready, let’s go?” He asked grabbing his wallet and the car keys off the nightstand. I grabbed my purse and followed him downstairs. We grabbed our sleeping babies and took them to the car in our arms and them rested them in their chairs. The stroller went to the trunk and we left. It was the first time I was seeing the landscape. There was a river like I had predicted the night before and the way there was filled with trees, we were in fact in the middle of nowhere, I was even surprised our cells worked in there. “Are you sure we are still in California?” I asked him smiling. “Yep…” He smirked. The landscape was astonishing and as we approached the village I could see green mountains. The village itself was mainly one big main street where all the commerce was concentrated. I saw a pharmacy, butchery, library, some salons, the post office…I felt like I was in some kind of movie. “This is just so…” I missed to find the right word to describe it so I didn’t finish my sentence. “Tiny?” He asked pulling the car over. I looked at my side to find big red letters saying Supermarket. “But beautiful.” I completed. He nodded. “Will you stay with them in the car?” I asked as I saw my kids still peacefully sleeping. “Sure.” He agreed. Before I hopped off the car he grab my arm making me look back at him and he kissed me. “Now you can go.” He said. I left smiling at myself, so far so good but I knew things wouldn’t be that easy but at least, for these hours, I had my husband back and I knew that I would have him back again. I bought everything I needed to make soup for the twins, since they became 5 months that soup was introduced to their meals so around lunch times milk was replaced by a plate of soup. I was loving being a mother and seeing all the transformations in them. First time they tasted soup was amazing and cute, there was soup all over and they also had to learn to eat with a spoon instead of just sucking. Cayla took the soup well at first time but Cullen fought a bit against it, now they were full used to it and loved it. “I need to go to the pharmacy too.” I said getting in the car. “Yeah, I noticed their milk is almost over.” He said. Not even one minute after we were parked in front of the pharmacy. I bought their milk and also diapers, just in case. I put all the bags in the trunk and joined James again. “We could bring some pizza so we can skip cooking dinner.” James suggested. “Sounds good.” I agreed. Another minute and half and the pizza was at hand. I could get used to living in such a small town. Everything seemed so quiet and peaceful. The babies woke up so we took them with us. It was mixture of bar and restaurant and there were some people drinking. As the waitress put another glass of beer on the counter James looked away. “Ade…I’d rather wait for you outside.” He said. I understood why. James took the stroller with him and I stayed alone. There I could have a hint how hard it was for him. When I got out with two boxes in my hand he was crouched in front of the stroller smiling and giggling with our children. “They are just so cute and grown up and they do so many things already.” He rambled. “Are you alright?” I asked him. He got up and took the boxes off my hands putting them in the trunk. “Are you?” I insisted. He began to put Cullen in the chair and then Cayla. “Babe…” I grabbed his arm when he was going to close the stroller. “Not very good.” He confessed. I ran a hand through his hair and then kissed his lips. “Is there anything I can do?” I asked him hoping he’d say I could do this or that. “No sweetie. Let’s go home, it’s dark already.” He said. I diverted the subject to light up his mood. “The day today was extremely short.” I commented. “Because you slept most of the day.” “And I am still tired.” I said. We made all our way in silence. I put all the vegetables in the fridge and James prepared the twin’s bath, he helped me bathing them but again he was silent, I guessed he began to crave it and didn’t want to talk to anyone so I respected that. I was not too sure of how to deal with that and I didn’t want to step out of the line. Once they were smelling terrifically good and had their milk the babies crashed onto their night sleep leaving us free. James put some more wood in the fireplace, nights were not warm in the woods, and helped me with the pizza. We were simple people, we decided to just sit on the floor and grab the pizza directly from the box. “You are so silent.” I ventured. “I am sorry.” He apologized. “Please Ade, it’s nothing with you. I am not mad at you or anything, my head is just giving me hell right now.” He explained. “Wanna try and tell me what’s inside your head?” I rubbed his arm in support hoping that making him talk would relieve him some way. “It’s like I have something hammering on it and pulling me to drink, it’s like another person is inside of me and yelling at me to go for it. This is hell…” He said taking both hands to his face in despair. I saw his hands tremble a bit. “Oh…James…” I ran a hand through his hair. “What can I do? What do you want me to do?” “Just distract me.” He pleaded with his eyes filled with tears. His hands shook again and I grabbed them with my own. “Do something. Take my mind away from here.” He asked. Seeing his despair made me wanna cry but I had to be strong for him. I did the first thing that crossed my mind, it had to be something meaningful, something that would make his senses twist. There was only one thing possible to take him away like that. I took my hands to his shoulders and pinned him against the couch sitting on him right after. His hands met my hips pulling me to him almost aggressively. I cupped his face between my hands and kissed him, his lips responded hungrily, all his moves were rough but caring at the same time. “Cure me…” He whispered. |
![]() |
|
| Lawrah Luvsmetallica | February 26, 2011, 1:24 pm Post #382 |
|
Poor Twisted Me
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I love this fic IT IS AHHHMAZZZEIN LOl .... im new here my name is laura XD
|
![]() |
|
| Scorpion Flower | February 26, 2011, 1:26 pm Post #383 |
|
Outlaw Torn
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Oh...a new reader:) Thank you so much.
|
![]() |
|
| Lawrah Luvsmetallica | February 26, 2011, 1:27 pm Post #384 |
|
Poor Twisted Me
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
hehehe lol
|
![]() |
|
| Izzy | February 26, 2011, 2:11 pm Post #385 |
|
Outlaw Torn
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
great part!! awesome to see that they are getting close again! ![]() moar!!
|
![]() |
|
| 4everJamie | February 26, 2011, 3:38 pm Post #386 |
|
Some Kind Of Monster
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
The last two updates haven´t been good....they were awesome!!
|
![]() |
|
| xlau05 | February 27, 2011, 12:46 am Post #387 |
|
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
“Cure me…” He whispered. oh wow.. I can help with that too this chapter was grrrreat!next?
|
![]() |
|
| Scorpion Flower | February 27, 2011, 8:55 am Post #388 |
|
Outlaw Torn
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Thank you all:) Here it goes. *************************** Next morning when I woke up I was lying on my stomach and there was a hand right in front of my eyes playing with a strand of my hair. “Sorry…” He said pulling his hand away. James was also laid on his stomach and face to face with me. “That strand was covering your face and I was pulling it away.” He explained peacefully. “How many times have I told you that it is not good to watch me sleep.” I smiled. James smiled back. “I love to watch you sleep and you looked just so peaceful, I wanted to be where you were, you know.” “The babies…” I said as I didn’t hear a noise. “They are sleeping, let them be.” He said. I took an arm off the covers and began to caress his hair, he closed his eyes a bit. “You look sad.” I told him. “I don’t feel alright.” He explained. I remained silent looking at him and our eyes met trying to communicate in silence. In the blue of his eyes I could read pain and depression maybe. “Wanna come closer and I cuddle you.” I suggested smiling. He dragged himself closer and I raised my head a bit and began to plant tiny kisses on his face and running a hand through his hair. “That feels good.” He whispered. I rested my head again in my pillow and looked at him. “Feeling that bad?” I asked and James nodded. “The voice is still yelling?” He nodded again. “Louder, much louder than yesterday. I just want to stay here.” He closed his eyes. I kissed him again and he remained still just enjoying my caresses. “It will go away.” I whispered in his ear and continued on kissing him but then Cayla cried. “Oh…no…” He complained. “Mommy is mine!” He said causing me to laugh. “I think someone is calling me downstairs.” I said pulling the covers away. Immediately he pulled the covers back up and covered his head. I cannot say that he was in a terrible humor but definitely not in a good one. It was even not a question of humor, he was simply depressed. Cayla smiled as soon as her eyes hit on me. She was so tricky that she made me smile at her. Cullen was also awake, of course, it was impossible to be asleep with his sister yelling by his side but being twins had some wonderful things. For example, sometimes they’d wake up and they be just there entertaining themselves not asking for attention right away. They’d play with each other and I witnessed more than once them baby talking to each other. If they actually understand what they are trying to say to each, that remains a mystery but they used to do that a lot and I always loved to watch their reactions. I changed their diapers and got them dressed then I prepared their bottle and fed them. They were beginning to hold their bottle which was great. They were just growing up but the hard times of sleepless nights were basically gone, unless they were ill, sometimes teeth were also bad for a good night sleep but in a overall those were gone. I played with them for a while until they were tired and fell asleep again. I looked at the clock and it read 11 am. I came back upstairs and James was still in bed, still laid on his stomach, I laid on top of him and kissed the back of his shoulders and then his face. “Come on, it’s a wonderful day outside, let’s do something. Take a walk with the kids.” I suggested. “I don’t wanna get out of bed.” He said. “Baby but you have to. I am demanding your attention and so are your babies.” I teased him. I knew I had to be the one taking hold of the situation and make him get out of bed and distract himself. “How about showering with me then.” I whispered in his ear. “And then we’ll see but at least shower with me and shave and then if you want you can come back to bed.” James didn’t move or said anything. I kissed his cheek trying to stir him up. “Honestly Ade…no…I am not in the mood.” He said. There was no trace of aggression just a normal tone. “Ok.” I said throwing my towel down. I kissed his cheek one last time and left him in bed. I picked up a pair of black jeans a strapless pink top. I left ii on the chair and disappeared to the bathroom. I closed the door and turned the knob around, while the water heated I took my pajama off and left it on the floor, finally I got in and drenched my hair. I felt the door opening but I didn’t look back but I knew he was inside, soon he held me from behind and kissed my shoulder. “Changed your mind?” I asked him not looking back. His hands roamed to my naked breasts. “Yes.” He said nibbling on my ear as his hands squeezed my breasts gently. I knew he came for sex, the perfect way to divert his head from alcohol but I was alright with that. Last times we had sex it was good and we were bonding again. I turned around and kissed his lips, his searched for mine hungrily and despite his urge he kissed me with passion. The passion that he had lost somehow was coming back bit by bit. He tilted his head back as I began to kiss his neck and his fingers lingered over my wet hair. “I love you Ade.” He said while I kissed him. “I love you so much babe.” He whispered and then again. “I love you.” I thought he needed to let that out off his chest. I felt his muscles relax under my touch. The more I caressed the more he’d relax. I kissed my way down. His erection jumped in front of my eyes and I grabbed it in my hand giving it a light stroke, he shuddered a bit. I looked up and our gaze locked, his eyes asking me for it, I just locked my lips around it and he thrust lightly. I knew he wanted it. He was not rushing nor using force, he was calm thrusting slow in an acceptable rhythm and I was quite frankly enjoying doing it. Then he stopped thrusting but I continued pleasuring him with my mouth, he loved that and soon his moans echoed on the bathroom but low moans as if he was controlling them, too sexy for my ears. I was there to stay until the end but his hands pulled me up. “Don’t you want me to finish?” I asked him but he just silenced me with a kiss. “No…” He said breaking the kiss then he pecked me. “I want you. I just want you.” He said. “But I was here.” I told him smiling as his hands pushed me against the wall. “But it was only about me and I want it to be about us.” He said kissing my neck. I tugged my fingers onto his hair and smiled again at his words. I felt his hands going down under my butt and he pulled me up. His face flushed a bit as he used his strength to do it, I wrapped my legs around him and he made his way in teasingly and incredibly slow but amazingly good, making me gasp as he did it. “I could never see that face if we stayed like that.” He breathed looking in my eyes. “I love you.” He said again kissing me as he began to move. Our tongues entwined at the same rhythm as his body moved against mine. “You are amazing.” I gasped. “Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for loving me.” He said with tears in his eyes. “I would die for you if I had to.” I said as I felt my eyes watering too. As our pleasure increased also his thrusts became faster and rougher and our senses became numb and unable to maintain a coherent conversation. Moans and our bodies clasping were all that could be heard in the bathroom and he was trying hard to pleasure me the maximum he could. I was flattered that in his messed and bruised mind he could find a will to make that moment about me and not about him. He made me feel it was all about me in the way he delayed his own orgasm, in the way he kissed me, in the love words he whispered in my ear, in every gesture. Just when I cried out his name he rushed to his own pleasure. I loved the way he patiently made love to me, James rested his forehead against mine gasping for hair. “I love you.” I told him able to speak again. “I cannot tell you this enough times.” “And I always let you down.” He said. “You don’t.” I said pulling his face up to look at me. James and I showered and then came back to the room. I began to get dressed but I saw him putting his boxers and shirt and going to bed again. “Hey…” I complained looking at him. I could not let him go back to bed and sink on his thoughts again. I had to drag him out of the house, laugh and smile and make him feel good. That was the way to help him go through all that and not let him drown in his addiction. I had to make that voice disappear. I walked up to him and pulled the covers away. “No. There is a fantastic sun outside, we have our babies with us and we’re going for a walk, spend some time outside. Maybe have lunch in the village.” He frowned but I grabbed his hand and pulled him. “Come on.” I said. Cullen and Cayla gave signs of being awake. “Look your kids are awake and they want to have their lunch so I need you to distract them while I cook their soup.” I defied him. James ended up smiling and dragged himself out of the bed again. He picked up some shorts and his flip flops. “You are amazing you know that?” He said as he embraced me and pecked me. “We have a life to live.” I said. He nodded and grabbed my hand going downstairs. We peaked at the twins’ bed and they smiled at us, happy to see us. “Morning.” James giggled at them, then he took them off their crib and sat them on the carpet near the fireplace, he began to play with them and I left to prepare their food. From the kitchenette I could see him play and laugh with our children and that rested my heart for a while. It really looked like his morning depression was disappearing but I also knew it didn’t, not completely. We’d have to go through that every day but I would find a way to fight it until it was completely gone. James helped me giving the soup to them and then we decided to go explore the village and have lunch there. We dressed the babies and left on his truck. “It is a nice day indeed.” He said looking out at the window as he drove. “You better close your window a bit. There’s too much wind for them.” I said. “Oh…sorry…” He said closing it right away. “I don’t want them to get cold.” I rested my hand on his leg and he rested his own on top of mine. All of a sudden we were alright and it seemed like we were just on holidays. We stopped near a restaurant which specialty was fish. The twins fell asleep in the car and at least we could have our meal peacefully, it reminded us of what it was like before they were born. I had to give him that, so many things change after having a baby, let alone two. We took all the time in the world to talk and enjoy the food. “Thanks for yank me out of the bed.” He said. “See, the day is perfect, isn’t it better being here with us?” He nodded. “But I think I need to talk with my sponsor.” He said. “If you think then we can go back.” I told him. “It’s in LA Ade. The center was in LA:” He said. “We could go and stay at your house, I bet you’d like that. You miss LA don’t you?” “I do.” I confessed. “We stay here a couple of days and then we go there. I want to talk to my sponsor.” “What if he says you have to stay there?” I asked him. He shrugged. “If he thinks it’s better then I’ll have to stay. I need help, I know that. I need professional help again, only I am strong enough to realize that and I owe that to you, for coming here and bring them and show me how much I was losing.” I grabbed his hand. “Then we’ll go. It’s another fight and another chapter. I’ll go with you.” He smiled and kissed me in the middle of the restaurant. “How come a lousy human being like I am is such a lucky bastard.” “Fist you are not a lousy human being and second you fought hard to be lucky.” After lunch and as the babies woke up we decided for a walk near the river in front of the cabin. We took towels and spent a nice afternoon with them. They shuddered as we put their feet on the water, I guessed they were cold but they made us laugh. It was just us and our kids and no one else. Cullen and Cayla giggling and James and I laughing every time they did something new. It was great to see my family gathered again without crying or false hopes, there was a real hope now and I saw a light at the end of tunnel. We deserved a happy ending after all we had been through in our lives. I knew that happy ending was not near, still we were walking up to it. I could imagine how going with James to the rehab center would be hard but I was willing to hold his hand on this journey too. At the end of the day we came back to the cabin, bathed the twins, fed them and put them to sleep then it was our quiet night. Just for us… “Put on a coat.” He said kissing the tip of my nose. I followed him outside and James was barbecuing. “Oh…” I clapped. “Here…” He said handing me a burger. “Hummm…the things you made while I was trying to put them to sleep.” “I decided to make us dinner. I loved our day today.” He held my waist pulling me to him. I kissed his lips. “I loved it too. I loved to see you smile and relaxed.” “This is far from being over.” He said serious. “But we took a few steps towards the end.” I cheered him up. “I can’t thank you enough Ade. It is so important to me the support you are giving me.” “And you wanted to go through this alone.” I said. “I would never be able to do it. I need you here with me, I am sure of that.” “Well…I am here.” I said kissing him in a more suggestive way. He pulled me down on the long chaise and slid his hand under my coat. “The meat is gonna burn.” I told him. “We’ll put some more later.” He said capturing my lips irresistibly. |
![]() |
|
| xlau05 | February 27, 2011, 10:46 am Post #389 |
|
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
yay it's not easy, but things are getting better and better! at least for now.. I hope that James will resist to that evil ' voice ' inside him thanks for posting Scorpion
|
![]() |
|
| Lawrah Luvsmetallica | February 27, 2011, 2:13 pm Post #390 |
|
Poor Twisted Me
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
really good. More plzz xD
|
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
![]() Our users say it best: "Zetaboards is the best forum service I have ever used." Learn More · Register for Free |
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Het / Gen · Next Topic » |





![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)





I hope things get better between them now.



8:38 PM Jul 10