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He's my everything; A little angsty piece, Lars/James
Topic Started: July 19, 2011, 9:14 am (1,172 Views)
Burnout
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Poor Twisted Me
[ * ]
Sooo here I finally am writing again :) This is my very first fan fic so I hope it's good!
(It's a bit sucky, I know, but I haven't been writing in a while, so I'm just warming up)

Lars/James story, some angst, take it any way you want romance or friendship!
Written while listening to Snuff by Slipknot (if anyone wants to know :P )

This whole story is fictional, no harm ment to any Metallica members, their friends and family.


So, here it is!




What is it with me?
Am I cursed?

 
Whatever I do... I... I just end up back here, lying in my bed, drinking my sorrow away... 

whatever I do...
 
And it's always the same! Always the ones I love the most...
 
Always the ones I need...

And it always hurts as much as the last time did.

Always... 

Whatever I do, it's not enough.  


I stare at the ceiling and think...
  

What have I done wrong?
Why is it always me?
What is it with me?
Am I cursed?
 

And then... I hear his voice... calling my name!

I've obviusly done something righ in my life. If I hadn't, would I have him?
 
He doesn't know my pain...

he doesn't know why I cry,
why I rage,
why I hate myself, 
but he does know I need him...
and he's there... Always!
 
He grips on my hand and calls my name through a whisper. 

He tries not to cry so hard. 

And I... I don't know am I crying... am I in pain... Am I alive?
  
He burries his face in my hair and I hear him fighting himself, trying not to cry.

He's my everything!





He's my everything!
  
...
...
...

And now... he's gone... 
He's gone... 

I never said I loved him... 
I never told him how much he helped...
how much I needed him... 

And every time I needed him, he was there... fighting, right by my side... He fought against my demons along with me, even though he didn't know why... 
he fought...

 
I love him...
 
I miss him...
 
And he has been taken away from me...

So cruely, taken...

 
"I love you" I whisper alone in the dark. 
"I loved you" I cry. 
 
And I need his hand to clutch onto mine now, I need it so bad! I need his green eyes giving me support, I need his touch, his voice, his courage!
 
And I cry again...
I break down like a child... 
Trapped in my own head again...
Trapped again... 

 
"I love you" I chant, getting quieter and quieter. 
And I pass out like that. Too tired to cry anymore...
 



He's here!! 
I wake up! 
I hear his voice! 
He's here! 
So close to me! I feel his fingers on my skin, his breath on me, his lips near my ear...

I open my eyes and there he is. 
 
"Don't throw yourself away like this, James... Don't... Jamie.." he talks to me.
 
I smile.
 
I smile with my whole, trembling body as I feel him so close.
 
He smiles. 

The wrinkles on his face get deeper as his lips, his eyes, his cheeks form the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.
Those wrinkles... 
I was there... I caused most of them... 

"I gave you these" I say and stroke his face, following the wrinkles. "You frowned because of me."
  
He looks in my eyes.
 
"I also smiled because of you" 
 
 

He's alive!!

"You're alive..."
 
He's here!

"You're here..." 

He's mine! 

"I love you!"   

I hug him tight.
 
".... I love you" I whisper.  

His arms clutch onto me a bit tighter. I never said it to him... Never before...
 
"I never said it..." I whisper to him.
 
"But I knew it... I knew it all along!"
  
And his smile... His smile makes all my fears and doubts go away. 


"I want you to remember that. I really do love you, Lars!"   
       
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larscriancinha
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Larsybaby
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Your first fiction? It's great! I loved it! The angst is perfect and brought a tear to my eye. :heart:

Great Job! :)
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lilevilchick
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Bad Seed
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i liked it! good job!
:biggrin
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Lars Mi Amor
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Lars the Great
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Posted Image
Awesome story :) great job! :heart:
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Eri
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Bad Seed
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This is great! More? :) :heart:
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Burnout
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Poor Twisted Me
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Last Caress
July 19, 2011, 10:12 am
Your first fiction? It's great! I loved it! The angst is perfect and brought a tear to my eye. :heart:

Great Job! :)


Thanks!! :D It means a lot to me! It is my first fiction, but I'm a "writer" in my free time, I'm about to get published, as soon as I finish my book. But I was really scared about writing this because I always write about MY characters and I never wrote in english (my vocabular is not big enough to write something a bit more complicated).

And Nancy, Mariah and Erika, huge thanks aswell! :) :heart:
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BleedingSoul
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Frantic
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SWEEEEEEEET!!! So sweet! :heart:
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Burnout
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Poor Twisted Me
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BleedingSoul
July 20, 2011, 9:58 am
SWEEEEEEEET!!! So sweet! :heart:

Thank you very much! :)
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Jik Hyun
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Poor Twisted Me
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they do so be like an old married couple.
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The Cosmic Gerbil
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Forbidden Forest Ranger
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Aww, that was sad but so cute too :heart: James and Lars are so sweet together :D
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Burnout
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Poor Twisted Me
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Thanks you two! :D (sorry girls, don't know your names :/ )

And once again to everyone: THANK YOU! :heart: I didn't think I'd get this much nice reviews! I was pretty sure I suck writing in english! :P
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SlayingTheDreamer
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Never talk with strangers.
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very cute :heart: :heart:
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Burnout
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Poor Twisted Me
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SlayingTheDreamer
July 25, 2011, 7:33 am
very cute :heart: :heart:
Thank you! :heart: Or should I say hvala! :)
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SlayingTheDreamer
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Never talk with strangers.
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nema na čemu :heart:
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