| Curiosity; Slash, James/OC set during Load | |
|---|---|
| Topic Started: Sep 22 2011, 01:21 PM (2,311 Views) | |
| Orionhearted | Sep 22 2011, 01:21 PM Post #1 |
Bad Seed
|
Hey all, I've enjoyed reading all your fics so I thought I'd return the favor and entertain you with one of mine. Set during Load, our James finds himself in awkward and tempting new territory. If you guys like it i'll write the whole story. Enjoy  ****** Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. -Eugene O'Neill Pain shot through James' head as he opened his eyes, only to shut them tight against a blinding light. After a few nauseating moments he pried them open again and squinted at the bedside lamp in his hotel room. Christ, he must have fallen asleep with it still on. Usually he needed total darkness to get any sleep so he must have been really wasted. He glanced at the clock which read 4:30am, and he groaned loudly. This was not a time to be waking up, but his bladder was screaming at him for relief. He went to sit up but his head spun and he sunk back into his pillow. Clearly, he was still quite drunk. Where the fuck had he been? He had vague memories about a Load release party, the hundredth one he had been to since they started touring this album. It felt good to be out on the road again, but everyone had gotten back into touring life with gusto and it was already taking its toll on his brain cells. Lars and Kirk had been gacked to the gills all month, and James had stepped up his drinking just not to be left behind. He sat up again and ran his fingers through his short brown hair. His head spun again and he just held his face in his hand until it passed. Deep breaths. Must piss. Then, there was movement next to his hip. He dropped his hand away from his eyes in surprise and looked down. He was not alone. His companion's small form was completely covered by the doona and James couldn't even conjure up a memory of what they looked like or when they met that night. This seemed like a night where he would ha'e been too drunk to shag properly, but he ran his palm over his dick lightly and felt that it was pretty raw. Wow, he must have fucked her pretty hard. That or she gave him one intensely rough hand job. He sighed to himself and ran through a list of possible scenarios in his head. Did he tell them to leave now? Did he kick them out in the morning? Did he sneak off to Kirk's room secretly, and let a roadie clear her out and get his stuff the next day? The body next to him shifted again, and they rolled onto their back, dragging the doona down. James' blood froze. It was a man. He was sleeping next to a man. He threw the covers off himself and leapt out of bed in a single, violent movement. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuck fuck! He fucked a man? How fucking drunk was he? He pressed himself against the hotel wall while his bed-mate sat up and blinked at him blearily. "Whatthefuckyoudoin?" He yawned widely and looked over at James with a sleepy, confused look on his face. James frowned in recognition. Dark hair, dark eyes, fair skin. Thomas? The lighting engineer? He felt his cheeks burn as realisation hit him. What was he doing in bed with Metallica's new lighting guy? Memories came flooding back to him as he remembered how when they had met two months ago they had hit it off and were immediately comfortable around each other. Thomas was smart and laid back, and James had enjoyed the few conversations that they had shared over the past few weeks. Thomas was still staring at him, looking a little more awake. "James, what?" he said, scratching his chest. James watched his fingers move over his chest and he was suddenly hit with waves of anxiety and confusion. "What the fuck happened?" James growled. Thomas blinked at him. "What do you mean?" he queried, clearly sensing the weird vibe that James was putting out. "We're in fucking bed together!" James said. Thomas shrugged. "Yeah," he said, "we fucked, remember? Then we fell asleep." The brunette rubbed his stomach queasily. "I feel like shit, I should've said no to that fourth tequila shot." James went white. "I'm not a fag!" he yelled, louder than he needed to. Thomas frowned at James. "I didn't say that you were," he replied cautiously, subconsciously pulling the sheets further up his body. He put his full attention on James, looking slightly frightened. "What the fuck did you do?" James said accusingly. "I do not fuck men, you did something to me!" James' head was spinning. He had gotten so drunk that he had fucked a man. Anxiety shot through him and he hands flew to his ass. That didn't feel any different, thank god. He must have been the one doing the screwing. He thought about the roadies and friends that he had partied with that night. Fuck, what if someone found out about this? What if they had seen them leave together or something? Thomas slid out of bed and started getting dressed. "I just enjoyed your company," Thomas responded, pulling his jeans up. "I'm half your size, do you really think I could make you do something you didn't want to?" James stepped forward and put a finger in Thomas' face. "No one can know about this," James threatened. Thomas put his hands up. "We hooked up here at the hotel, nobody saw us," he said, putting his shirt on. "Its our secret, don't worry." "There is no 'our' anything, I am not gay!" James repeated. "It was just a fuck James," Thomas hissed, getting angry. "I didn't think you were gay, I just thought you were doing the rockstar thing and fucking outside the lines." "I do not fuck men!" James shouted back. "Well you could've fooled me," Thomas countered, "considering the time you spent pounding my ass." James brought his hands and covered his face again, clearly distressed. "I've never done that before," James whispered. Thomas' expression softened, and he grimaced at James' forlorn form. "Don't be embarrassed," he said. "Some part of you just must have been curious." James shook his head, horrified. "Of god, if the fans found out about this..." he whispered. His stomach tightened. They would call him a fag and a pansy. Metallica's reputation would be keelhauled. He looked over at Thomas with a dark glare. He covered the space between them in two strides and grabbed him by the neck. He growled into his face and Thomas out his hands up defensively. "This will not happen again," James barked. Thomas shoved him away. "If you want this to not happen again," he sneered, "then keep your hands to yourself next time!" Thomas picked up his wallet and keys from the bedside and pulled on his shoes. He bumped into James on his way out and James looked down into his face. A zap of electrical current passed between them and James shivered as he held his gaze. "I don't want to lose my job over this so I'm just going to forget this whole thing happened," Thomas whispered. He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. "See you around James," he said, and he left. James watched him go with a sick feeling of regret in his stomach. He sunk down onto the bed and dropped his head into his hands. He was drunk, hungover and mortified. His mind took him back to a few days ago, when he had caught himself staring at Thomas as he bent over a lighting rig. Curiosity. That's what he had felt. Fuck, what has he done?  Edited by Broken, Beat & Scarred, Feb 2 2012, 09:33 AM.
|
 |
 
|
| Lilith | Sep 22 2011, 02:18 PM Post #2 |
Jaimelicious
|
 OMG! loool I wasn't expecting this! Now I'm curious.Great start! |
|
|
| usmcjahusmc8762 | Sep 22 2011, 04:30 PM Post #3 |
Overkill
|
Dude, seriously that was GREAT! Keep going! 
|
|
|
| larscriancinha | Sep 22 2011, 05:58 PM Post #4 |
Larsybaby
|
Ooh! I love this so far.  Can't wait for more!
|
|
|
| MetallicaObsessed | Sep 22 2011, 07:24 PM Post #5 |
Blackened
|
Ummm...Ma'am, may I please have some more? VERY curious! |
|
|
| disposable_hero | Sep 22 2011, 07:47 PM Post #6 |
Bad Seed
|
a GREAT start More soon, I hope! |
|
|
| Orionhearted | Sep 23 2011, 11:06 AM Post #7 |
|
Bad Seed
|
Okay here's part two, and it's a longer one. It might have a flashback within a flashback, so I hope it's not too Inception for you guys. Thanks for your feedback! ********* James stared past the enormous video camera in his face as Lars answered the interviewer's questions. It was the same shit they had been getting since the album was released. Why wasn't the music as fast as before? Did they think the fans would accept this new sound? Why did they change the Metallica logo? Why such a drastic change in album cover art style? Why were they dressed as pimps in the booklet? Why didn't they make The Black Album II? And of course, the one question they had been asked every single time. "Why did you all cut your hair?" the lady asked. "We didn't," James replied. "The barber did.' Lars snorted and rolled his eyes, before pulling out their stock answer to that particular question. James was amazed and how many variations of the phrase 'we needed a change' Lars could produce interview after interview. That was why the drummer was the mouthpiece of the band, and not the other three. When it came to tedious questions, James got sarcastic, Jason got defensive and Kirk got weird. Kirk and Jason were lucky enough to sit this interview out and were probably busy getting drunk for the show tonight. James was surprised at how quickly the tables had been turned on Metallica. When the Black Album came out, the stars lined up for them. They had the right sound, the right look and right songs at the right time. They were the underground band that beat the odds, the band that no radio station would touch, and the juggernauts of extreme music that beat down corporate rock to be kings of the world. The universe opened up to them and they could do no wrong. No one expected them to go anywhere and they blew everybody away with their success. Now the coin of fame had flipped to the other side, and they were seeing the obverse world of rock reality: the restricting, suffocating world of expectation. A world where every change was scrutinised, where every public urination was national news and every failure to reach previous successes was brought up over and over again. They were not longer the underdogs being clapped on the back for reaching the top on their own terms. Now they had to explain themselves as to why they had departed from their winning formula. And the top it all off, they had agreed to do Lollapalooza. "Do you think that it's appropriate for you guys to play an alternative music festival like Lollapalooza?" the interviewer asked. "Traditionally it has been about giving underground acts exposure to a larger audience." Fuck, James felt like exposing himself right there, to see if that was a safe 'alternative' to answering that. Lars must have seen the look on his face because he jumped in before James could answer. "The organisers of Lollapalooza wanted to mix things up a bit this year," Lars said. "They knew it would piss people off and get everyone’s blood pumping." James thought about that dick from Jane's Addiction who had been one of the co-founders of the festival back in 1991. Perry Farrell had kicked up a massive fuss when Metallica was being pursued as headliners that year. He had said that Metallica's 'mucho image' didn't gel with the peaceful vibe that Perry saw at the centre of Lollapalooza. He was seeing rainbows whilst the committee was seeing green, and Perry quit in a huff when Metallica were finally added to the bill. Then when the festival tour started two weeks ago, people started complaining that the vibe of the festival had changed because tickets were all going to aggressive Metallica fans and not the usual alternative music punters. Fucking hippies. "The Black Album changed all our lives," Lars was now saying. "We didn't feel the need to play a hundred miles an hour on this album, because we're not singing about smashing things up as much anymore." The interviewer looked over at James. "James, why do you feel like the subject matter behind your lyrics has changed?" James shrugged slightly and wrung his hands. "I used to look out and sing about things that pissed me off about the world," he replied. "But now it's more important to me to express things that are inside." James was about to say something more, but his mouth went dry on those last words. God, who knew what was inside him waiting to be expressed. He hadn't thought about Thomas during this whole interview, but there he was, right back at the forefront of his mind. This whole Load thing had been this big release for Lars and Kirk, with their eye-liner, mesh tops and public make-out sessions. James had pointed the gay finger at them, yet he was the one who had actually gone and fucked a man. The difference was, Lars and Kirk were letting loose and didn't give a shit what the anyone thought. That was Metallica to them, a forum where they could give the finger to the world and be their freaky selves. James was the complete opposite. He felt even more exposed now that they were so huge, and he found himself going to extraordinary means to cover up what he was really thinking and who he really was. He had told himself a million times that he shouldn't give a shit if someone saw him take Thomas to his room. He was James Hetfield, the lead singer of the biggest band in the world, and he did as he pleased. But as Lars and Kirk had started to wander away from their traditional image, James felt like he had to hold it all together for the fans, to embody the true Metallica that the world fell in love with. And the frontman of Metallica most certainly did not fuck guys. "I think our fans will relate to it more because it is personal," Lars continued for him, probably thinking that James had just lost his train of thought. "We're not retarded kids anymore and we're comfortable telling people how we feel." James looked at the ground and willed the interviewer to not ask him anymore questions. His brain was a mess. They were on the go constantly with these Lollapalooza shows, playing four of five nights out of each week. He was used to that, but there had been so much shit flying around after the release of Load that it was taking longer than usual to adjust to being back out on the road. In a few weeks it would all be second nature. Right now he needed to get his head straight. Straighter. He hadn't seen Thomas since he left his room yesterday morning. He had gone back to sleep and had disorientating dreams until a knock on the door woke him at lunchtime. Getting up, he thought the whole thing might have been a dream, but when he ran his hand over the bed he felt the few stiff, crusty patches on it. If it was him alone he wouldn't have made that much of a mess. He had answered the door, feeling apprehensive at the thought that it might be Thomas, and breathed a sigh of relief when it was his guitar tech telling them they were flying out soon. The guitar tech wasn't looking at him weird so he figured that no one knew. There wasn't a show last night so after they flew to Vermont they had the night to themselves. Lars and Kirk paired up anyway and went to some arty nightclub near their hotel, and Jason was travelling with a girlfriend so they had shacked up in their room. James was horrified that he might run into Thomas during the transit, but didn't so he raced straight to his room and locked the door behind him. "Thanks for speaking to us guys," the interviewer said. "I'm looking forward to seeing your show tonight." James snapped back to the present and smiled and nodded at her. The cameraman switched off the camera and started to pack up. James reached for the microphone pinned to his shirt. He gave it a few yanks when he felt hands cover his. "Let me help you with that," the interview said, smiling. James gave her a nervous smile. "Ah, thanks, ah," he said, not remembering her name. She was pretty, with blonde hair and hazel eyes. "Emily," she said, laughing. "From Kerrang?" "Oh yeah," James said. "Thanks." People started milling around and talking as she reached into his shirt and pulled the microphone cord out. "Big night?" she asked him. "Kinda," James said, thinking quickly. "I haven't quite woken up yet." "I'm looking forward to your show tonight," she said. "Are you happy to be out on tour again?" James looked sidelong at Lars who was watching their exchange. "Yeah, I prefer the scenery on tour," he said, giving her an obvious once over and a wink. She rolled her eyes and giggled. "Do you now?" she responded. "Yeah, I like nature. Nature and natural things." He grinned winningly at her and she shook her head. "Okay frontman, you're all done," she said, packing the microphone away. Lars nudged him with his elbow and grinned. They got up and James brushed by her. "The view from the side stage is awesome," he told her. "Come by and have a look." She grinned shyly. "I might do that." He raised an eyebrow at her comically and then turned to follow Lars back to their tent. "Nice work," Lars said when they were out of earshot. "You barely said two words during that interview and she still wants you." "Well I do need something to do during the bass solo," James said, lifting two fingers to his mouth. Lars laughed and him, shoving him sideways. James grimaced. Yes, he was a lady killer. LADY killer. They made their way to the backstage bar and got some beers. He stood with Lars who started chatting to a few people who were killing time before and after their shows. The Ramones were currently playing and James usually watched them, but the Metallica road crew was running backwards and forwards loading the equipment behind the stage. Most of the lights were already up but James turned his back to the set-up crew just in case. His mind drifted back to the previous night. A few people had knocked on his door and invited him out but he had turned them all away, pretending to be sick. He'd had a shower and stretched out in bed in his towel, and covered his face with hands. He scoured his mind, trying to remember what had happened after the last gig. It had been a huge show in Quebec City, and everyone had been in high spirits afterwards. The four of them and the whole crew had hit the town, all dividing up amongst five or six clubs on the same strip. He remembered starting out with Jason, then meeting up with the Thomas and the lighting guys, then losing Thomas and finding Kirk who had lost his shirt, then going with Kirk to find Thomas and Lars who had stolen Kirks shirt. James could remember the four of them laughing in a corner of the bar as they all tried out French swear words on the locals. One girl seemed smitten with Kirk, and tried her best to teach him how to curse correctly. She was having a tough time of it though, because every time she said something he would lick the side of her face. They got more and more wasted, with Kirk and Lars disappearing into the toilets every half an hour. He and Thomas would joke and throw things whilst they were left alone, and James remembered feeling really happy and thinking that Thomas made a great drinking buddy. It got a bit blurry after that, but he could remember was two girls coming up and trying to chat both of them up. Thomas was clowning around, pretending that he didn't know what they wanted. The girls got really infuriated and ended up trying it on Kirk and Lars when they appeared again. He remembered Thomas leaning into him when the booze started getting to him, and he remembered putting his arm around him to keep him standing. He might have licked the side of Thomas' face like Kirk had done, and they might have both thought that was the funniest thing in the world. His memory was all a series of disjointed images from there. Lars' glazed eyes and flushed face. The girl talking to Thomas who had nice tits. Kirk running around looking stunned. The bathroom and a line of powder. Fuck, did he have some blow? His dazed reflection in the mirror. The statue of the owl at the end of the bar. Thomas' face. Thomas laughing. Thomas' lips. Then nothing. He had gotten hard under his towel and he shifted gingerly. Lars reckons he fucks like an animal on blow, so that could explain it. He just wishes that he could remember it. There was something about Thomas that drew him. He liked him instantly. They were friends, and he fit right in to their party crowd. At the back of his mind there were warning bells when he caught himself staring at the brunette when he set up the lights. He felt weird. He felt like a perve. But he couldn't help himself. His hand wanted to drift to his hard cock but he kept them on his face. He didn't even know how to start thinking about a guy in that way. With women he thought about their mouth or their breasts or their ass, but it was so weird with a guy. He couldn't even remember what he and Thomas had done. He knew that had fucked, but had they kissed? Did they go straight into it or did they make-out for a while first? Did Thomas give him a blowjob? Did he give Thomas one? Fuck. James pushed that thought away and conjured up his favourite jerk off memory. Last year the secretary at Electra had made eyes at him as he and the guys walked into the CEO's office for a meeting. He had thought about fucking her for the first half of the meeting, and after becoming uncomfortably hard he had excused himself to 'go to the bathroom'. He came out and looked for her, but she wasn't behind the desk. There was no one else around so he had snooped around and found her in a side office bent over the paper shredder. She hadn't noticed him so he unzipped and pulled his cock out. Her skirt was very short so he came up behind her and slipped his dick right between her upper thighs. She jumped in surprise and he wrapped one arm around her waist and covered her mouth with the other. She had looked back over her shoulder at him and then down at the head of his cock peeking out under her skirt. He gave her a few playful thrusts to gauge her mood and she tightened her inner thighs and rubbed her ass back against him. He had laughed evilly, pulled her knickers to one side and had slid right in. James briskly rubbed his cock under the towel as he remembered rutting into her with his hand still clamped over her mouth. He loved women like that, who were just in it for the solid fuck. No attitude, no games, just sensation. He wasn't wearing a rubber so he pulled out of her and pushed her to her knees. He gasped loudly as she swallowed him to the root in her hot mouth, and he threaded his finger through her hair and lost himself in the pulsing spasms of his orgasm. James rubbed his cock quicker imagining her mouth around him now. He wasn't getting there though, so he reached for the lube in his overnight bag. He slicked his hand and returned it to his cock and moaned into the stillness of the room. That was better. He moaned again and sped up his hand. Then an unfamiliar image floated up in his mind. Dark hair spread across a white pillow. A young man's face staring slack-jawed up into his. James felt his cock twitch and he tried to push the image away. No, he couldn't think about this. He wasn't gay, the coke had just warped his mind. Again though the image returned, and it was Thomas under him, with James pinning his wrists above his head with one hand. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Go back to the secretary! His favourite lay! He forced himself to think of her blowing him as he sat at her front desk, but it wouldn't stick. He kept seeing Thomas' face. It was no use, he was under his skin. He gave up and returned to the memory that was coming back to his mind. He still couldn't remember most of it but clearly he had fucked Thomas on his back and held him down as he did. So he imagined himself flipping Thomas over and holding the side of his face into the pillow as he pounded him roughly. He imagined Thomas struggling weakly as he thrust into his tight hole. His lower stomach started to churn and he felt the heat and sensation pooling in his groin. He imagined Thomas shuddering and coming onto the sheets beneath him, and James felt his cock twitch and explode in his hand. His orgasm tore through him, and he collapsed spread-eagled on the hotel bed. He wiped at himself with the towel and groaned. He had needed another shower. "James. JAMES!" James looked over at Lars who was gesticulating wildly. "What?" he said. "You were just staring into space!" Lars said. "Chris is trying to talk to you." James looked to the left and saw Chris Cornell standing there. He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry man," he said. "What were you saying?" Chris started talking about the Randall amp stacks they were using and James nodded along. He looked over at the set-up crew and saw the lighting crew all gathered together. They were all looking up at the same spot and James looked up too. He subconsciously looked for Thomas but didn't see him there. Fuck, he was a pervert. He looked back at Chris who was still chatting away. A fucking pervert. He was surrounded by women who want him, and he was stuck on a roadie. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. "James, you need to know this," Lars said. James turned around, and standing there looking at the ground, was the guy that he had fucked, then screamed at, then jerked off to, then hid from. Dark eyes met his. Oh fuck. |
|
|
| disposable_hero | Sep 23 2011, 12:20 PM Post #8 |
|
Bad Seed
|
Damn. 
|
|
|
| Lilith | Sep 23 2011, 12:56 PM Post #9 |
|
Jaimelicious
|
LOL Poor James, so confused. THis really made me laugh:
|
|
|
| MetallicaObsessed | Sep 23 2011, 05:42 PM Post #10 |
|
Blackened
|
Oh my! MOAR!!!!!! 
|
|
|
| larscriancinha | Sep 23 2011, 06:52 PM Post #11 |
|
Larsybaby
|
Loving this.  Moar, moar!
|
|
|
| Orionhearted | Sep 25 2011, 06:03 AM Post #12 |
|
Bad Seed
|
Part three guys, thanks again for your comments! I'm glad you're liking it  ********** Their eyes met and Thomas quickly looked back down. Peter Mensch was standing with them and was speaking quietly into a walkie-talkie. Thomas had a handful of paper and proceeded to file through them. "So as I was saying," he said without looking up, "the Fire Marshal here has been up our ass all day about the pyro. He seems convinced that having flames shoot up under a full rig of lights and overhanging trees is a sure way to kill everyone attending the festival." "We've had that same set-up for the last two weeks," Lars said, "and we've managed to not barbeque anyone." "They're really strict in Vermont," Thomas said, "but we knew that and we had everything cleared in advance. Then the Marshall showed up this morning, took one look at what we were setting up and is now threatening to shut us down." "Just us?" James asked. Thomas looked over at him and their eyes met for a second time. James felt his stomach flip-flop as Thomas' eyes searched his for a moment, before Thomas looked back at his papers. "Yeah, no one else is doing major pyro," he replied. "That seems to be the sticking point." "Did the fire marshal tell us what our options were?" Peter asked. Thomas nodded. "Well one option is that we can kill all the pyro and just get by on our lights," Thomas said. "That would be the path of least resistance, and our easiest fix." "That totally blows though," Lars said. "True," Thomas said. "Our other option is to move the lights so that none are directly above any of the pyro, which would satisfy the Fire Marshall if we combine that with some strategic pruning of the surrounding trees." "Well let's do that," James said, keeping his voice light and disinterested. "Our fans will be expecting flames." Thomas looked up at James again, and James felt the guilt that he had been pushing to the back of his mind these last two days. Something in him felt really shitty for getting verbally abusive when he found Thomas in his bed. "We would have to move some of the pyros too," Thomas told him, "because some of the lights can't be shifted. They'll go off at the same time they always do, but they'll be in different places. Is that something that you would be comfortable with?" James was still staring at Thomas, remembering the look on his face when James started accusing him of coercing him into bed. He felt a tightness in his stomach and he swallowed audibly. Fuck, stop caring, Hetfield. You did what you needed to do to make sure no one found out what happened. After a few moments he realised that Thomas was looking at him for an answer. "What was the question sorry?" James asked him, flatly. "He's asking if you think we're going to have a repeat of Montreal '92 if we move the pyros," Lars interjected. "Fucking keep up, Hetfield." "I'll be fine," James said, not looking at Thomas. "Just get the pyro guys to mark them with tape as usual and I'll keep away from them." "Will there be any changes to the lighting cues?" Lars asked. Thomas shook his head. "No the lighting cues will all be the same," he said, "but the position and intensities of the lights will be different. So it'll be a little strange but the rhythm of the show will be the same." Peter Mensch turned away from his walkie-talkie again and looked over at James. "If at any point you feel like the pyro is too confusing let me or Mike or Thomas know," he said, "whoever is closer, and we'll pull the plug on them." "I'll have a good look at them during the first two songs," James said. "I should have them figured out by then." Peter nodded and clapped James on the shoulder. "Alright, I'll see you guys backstage in two hours." Thomas turned to leave as well and Lars stopped him. "How did you turn up yesterday morning?" he asked him. "We missed you on the flight." James watched Thomas as Thomas looked at Lars. Thomas looked tired, but other than wasn't acting any different than usual. Lars took his roadie drinking buddies on the Metallica jet between shows, rather than have them travel with the rest of the crew on the trucks and buses. The last few times James had brought Thomas along, something that Thomas had respectfully declined at first but James didn't take no for an answer. When Thomas didn't show up for the airport shuttle yesterday James had spent the flight in knots hoping that Thomas made it back to his hotel room alright. It was only early that day that he heard someone talking about Thomas that he knew that he was okay. Thomas grinned nervously. "Trust me, no one was more surprised than me to have made it back to the hotel," Thomas said. "I was half dead in the morning and I totally missed the bus to the airport." "James' guitar tech was bashing on your door," Lars said, "you must have been half dead!" "I was so ill man," Thomas said, "I barely made it onto the bus that afternoon to get here." He grimaced and rubbed his head. "It was a long drive here," he added, "Pryo Mike had Judas Priest blasting and I thought the blood was going to burst through my temples." "James was so worried, you should have seen him!" Lars said, giving James a playful shove. "I think he felt guilty for filling you up with all that tequila." "He could take it," James said, perhaps a little harshly Thomas laughed and looked at the ground, and there was a short silence. Lars looked between James and Thomas, confused. "Well I gotta go," Thomas said, not looking up, "see you guys down there." And with that he turned and walked back down to the stage area. Lars looked over at James with a frown. "That was weird," the drummer said. "Why is Thomas avoiding us? Did we lick him on the face too much?" James shrugged and took a deep sip of his beer. Lars eyed James suspiciously. "Did something happen between you two?" Lars asked him. "You were both chummy when you left that Quebec nightclub together." James sprayed out his beer. "No, nothing happened, you dick," he growled. Lars looked at him sharply. "You know, we all know that Thomas swings the other way," Lars said, "I didn't think you knew because I don’t think you would have invited him to hang with us if you did." James looked uncomfortably at the ground. Fuck, people knew he was gay? James had been seeing so much of him, did people think that they were together? Fuck! Lars was still glaring at him. "Fucking hell, Hetfield," Lars hissed. "Did you find out and say something to him? Is that we he's avoiding us like the fucking plague?" "I don't know what you're talking about," James spat. Lars read his body language and threw his hands up in consternation. "You are such a fucking homophobe," Lars said, "and a bully! He fucking works for us, he's not going to be able to tell you to get fucked if you give him shit." "I haven't done anything," James retorted, taking a long sip of his beer to cover his face. "Bullshit," Lars said, and ran a hand through his hair. "You are so fucking predicable. Kirk said that you would ice him out when you found out he was gay. I didn't agree because you two seemed like brothers, but I guess I just had a little too much faith in you." James mind tripped over that notion. If Thomas had told him, what would he have done? Would he have shut him out? Five years ago he would have, but things had changed for him. He had seen someone after they had finished touring the Black Album. A lot of shit had gone down during those years, one of which was his father Virgil coming back into his life. He didn't know how to navigate seeing his father after all these years and Lars had told him to go and see a professional to help him figure it all out. James had resisted at first, if only because not thinking about stuff had worked up until then. But it wasn't working. Virgil was sick with cancer and James didn’t know whether he was angry or sad or both or none. But that was only half the problem. The psych had asked him about what things he saw in his life that he wanted to change. James simply said that he didn't know how to get close to people. He had watched Lars wrap himself up in his relationships with his friends and idols which such ease, and it baffled James as to how he did it. James didn't form close bonds with anyone, let alone men. He wanted that. Then out of nowhere he had let Thomas get close. He had invited him on the jet, taken him out drinking and opened up to him. Fuck, he even had a conversation with him about Virgil. Thomas had got right under his skin, and for once James wasn't pushing someone away who got too close. Until yesterday morning... Anger and shame flared up inside him. Virgil would certainly not approve of what happened with Thomas. He barely approved of Metallica, simply saying that he was glad James made something of his music, ie, lucky it all wasn't a waste of time. Virgil didn't approve of his music, his lifestyle, even his mother. He had left them. Cut them off and disappeared. James didn't want to turn out like his father. He didn't want to judge people who weren’t like him. He didn't want to cut loose whenever things got tough. It was so hard though. The only other person he had not pushed away was Lars. Not for lack of trying on his part though, because Lars was just unrelentless. James couldn't push him away if he tried. Every time Lars just came back and got up in his face again, forcing James to deal with whatever was on the table at the time. Thomas wasn't Lars though. Thomas couldn't get pushy with James because he was replaceable from a business point of view. Peter would fire him without thinking twice. Everyone else in his life was too afraid to piss him off, in case they lost their connection to the 'Metalli-tit; the gravy train of booze, chicks and money. He could do and say whatever he wanted around the roadies and minders, because he knew they would all laugh at his jokes and give him exactly what he wanted. This thing with Thomas was different though, because it had seemed like something that went down between two people, rather than a rockstar and his employee. That was the tough part of all this. Did he want to be the person or the rockstar? "HETFIELD!" Lars shouted. James blinked and saw Lars waving his arms around. "Stop screaming at me like a fish-wife," James said. Lars seethed and muttered a few choice curses under his breath. "Do not have him fired," he hissed. "I'd rather have him around than you around right now." Lars stormed off and James watched him go with annoyance. Fucking mouthy drummer. ****** Thomas walked as casually as he could back to the backstage set-up area. He relayed tonight's set up plan to the pyro guy Mike, and then when no one was looking, he ducked behind a row of silver travel cases. He linked his fingers over the back of his neck and squeezed. James. What the fuck? God he really had him fooled. You think that someone that far up the food-chain like James wouldn't care who he fucked. Thomas had been so wrong about him, and it was his own damn fault. Getting the job on the Lollapalooza tour had been a dream, and when James had talked to him that first time it had been a dream within a dream. He was new to the crew, having been poached from U2 who were taking a break from touring. He had designed some new lights that Peter Mensch had seen at a U2 show, and Q-Prime were keen to incorporate them into the Lollapalooza tour. Peter had promised him that if Thomas made it all work, he could run the lights for the rest of the Load tour cycle. On his first day with Metallica they were trying his new light configurations in a giant rehearsal space in San Francisco. He had been there for a few hours when the band members showed up and started walking around greeting everyone. Thomas had almost died when James walked up to him. He was taller in real life, and even better looking. There were a few changes since he had last seen him in magazines or on TV. Gone was the golden mullet, and he looked super handsome with his hair cut short. He wasn't decked out in all-black, and Thomas thought he looked amazing in his red flannel shirt and blue jeans. He had sleeves rolled up, and Thomas could see from his buffer arms that he had been working out. He had a giant poster on the bedroom wall of his apartment, of James on stage at the 1991 Monsters of Rock show in Moscow. His wild blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes had been captured perfectly in the photo, the whole thing embodying sex and power. Thomas had spent many nights unashamedly jerking off underneath it, imagining James stepping out of the poster and nailing him rough and hard. When he had heard that Metallica had changed their image, he thought that it was the death of a fantasy. However when James introduced himself and shook his hand, he had barely managed to play it cool. This new James was an older, stronger and impossibly hotter version of the man on his wall. He could feel the raw energy rolling off him as he stood there and chatted briefly. James had asked him about the new lights and how he got the ideas for them, but as he answered him all he could think of was how the man in front of him had shagged his way around the world and was probably a tiger in the sack. He had seen everything backstage with U2, and Thomas couldn't think of anything less appealing than seeing Bono get a blow-job night after night. He would work for Metallica for free if it meant never seeing that shit again. It was going to be hard seeing James do that with the ladies though...hard to keep his eyes on what he was doing! He didn't let his thoughts slip though. James was straighter than straight, and he was going to enjoy just being near the man. And James was heaps of fun. When the tour started they started having beers together and before he knew it, he was partying with the band members and their entourage. James was nothing like Thomas expected. He was a complete clown, a charmer, a sweetheart. He certainly put on a certain face with some people, but Thomas didn't think that it was a conscious thing. James had a dark side and a lot of secrets, but at the centre of it all was this great guy with a big heart. Thomas found him fascinating, and they had already had long conversations whilst waiting at airports, or on planes, or out events and clubs. It was so easy with James, and seeing how James let him in made it so much easier to talk to Kirk, Lars and Jason. He made a conscious effort not to stare too much at James, not only in the fear of getting punched in the face for being gay but also because it astounded Thomas how much the Metallica boys' privacy was intruded into. He didn't want to be like that, so he only admired James when he wasn't watching. His heart ached when James' blue eyes were on him, they were the one, soft, vulnerable thing about an otherwise hard and relentless individual. He'd had some pretty amazing wanks in his hotel room at night, but he almost felt guilty now because he knew James. He couldn't help himself though, as he imagined James walking into his hotel room and holding him down and... Thomas sunk down behind the travel cases and put his head in his hands. Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it. James had been a magnificent lay. The best sex of his life. Not because he was handsome. Not because he was the frontman of the biggest band in the world. Not because he had a deliciously dominating personality. It was because Thomas was head over heels in love with him. They were both pretty out of it, but when James kissed him that first time in his hotel room, Thomas had threaded his fingers through James' hair, and opened his soul to him. He had wrapped all his love and energy around James and tied himself to him. Letting James fuck him whilst he was in such a vulnerable emotional state was a big fucking mistake. He knew it at the time. The warning bells were there. He had absolutely no control over where this would end up. He could have pushed James away and he probably would have fallen asleep and forgotten the whole thing. He didn't even know if James fucked men, or if he was just so wasted that he didn't know that he was making out with a guy. He knew that he should have kept an emotional distance, that he had known James for a bare handful of weeks. He knew that James was fucked out of his head and was just rutting against him. But his heart had leapt for joy when James had reached for him, and now it was all fucked. James' response in the morning had sent cold knives through his heart. It had hurt. It had fucking hurt. He had been burned but the lesson had been learned. No matter how much the man in the poster whispered sweet nothings to him in his bedroom, he was a fool to think it would play out like that. He had let this happen. He just hoped James didn't fire him just so he didn't have to see Thomas every day. Thomas straightened himself up and took a deep breath. He would be okay. He would keep his eyes on the job and keep as far away from James as humanly possible. No more jets or parties, he would simply avoid any situation where he would be asked to go along with them on anything. He reached into his pocket to get out the running schedule and his finger touched something unfamiliar. He put it out with some effort and saw that it was a photograph of a woman. Fuckity fuck. James had shown him this, it was a picture of a young James with Cynthia, his mother. It was his only picture of them together. James had shown him this before they had started making out. When he revealed the photo Thomas had asked James about the little kid in the photo, how he would feel knowing the great success that he would have as an adult. James had smiled at him and drunkenly put the photo in Thomas' pocket, saying something about the little kid being safe with him. It hadn't made sense, which wasn't surprising considering how loaded they were, but not long after James had yanked Thomas underneath him and all thought went out the window. If James couldn't remember them having sex, then he wasn't going to remember giving him this photo. This was super personal stuff, so if he gave this back to James in person it might be so awkward and confusing for James that he might get fired. He had to give it back without James seeing him. Maybe he hadn't even noticed it was missing yet, and Thomas could just shove it into one of his personal bags where he could discover it later. That was the plan. He would get the photo back to James as soon as possible. Then he would become a shadow and try not to cross paths with the frontman. He would not stare at James. He would not favour James more than he needed to with the lights. He would not use the combination of white, green and blue lights that made James' eyes stand out. He would grow a pair and think about something else. He walked out and got back to work. From across the stage he saw a pretty young woman smile at James, and James smile back. Oh, this was going to suck. |
|
|
| larscriancinha | Sep 25 2011, 06:50 AM Post #13 |
|
Larsybaby
|
I love this more and more each time I read it.
|
|
|
| MetallicaObsessed | Sep 27 2011, 05:34 AM Post #14 |
|
Blackened
|
Quote of the day! Keep it coming! |
|
|
| Lilith | Sep 27 2011, 12:28 PM Post #15 |
|
Jaimelicious
|
OMG! Great chapter! Loved to read Thomas side of the story now.  
|
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
|
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Active Metallica Fan Fictions · Next Topic » |
6:00 AM May 22