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The Small Hours; James/Lars, teased James/Kirk
Topic Started: October 16, 2011, 7:00 pm (2,127 Views)
Isis
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TEA + CUDDLES

Jungleland
October 20, 2011, 4:36 pm
...what can I say but thank you Posted Image :heart:
No no no, thank YOU. :heart: :heart: :heart:

Posted Image

:D
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Lars Mi Amor
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Lars the Great
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:heart: ;-; :heart:
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Jungleland
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Lars Mi Amor
October 20, 2011, 4:43 pm
:heart: ;-; :heart:
:)
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Jik Hyun
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Poor Twisted Me
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ok that was freaky assed.
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disposable_hero
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Frantic
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I just read this and I loved it. :heart:

It's written so well and I definitely was not expecting the whole time-manipulation thing.

Trippy as hell. :lol:
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Jungleland
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Thanks :D
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ForeverHetfield94 <3
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You see but you do not observe
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OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I READ THIS STORY SOONER?????? :heart: :heart: :heart:

I'm TOTALLY speechless!! And Trinny points out "The Monkey's Paw" story thing... and I noticed the reference in the story. I have actually read that story and the SECOND I realized he was turning younger I was like SHIT this reminds me of that story I read in 8th grade. I LOVE these kinds of stories... UGH the irony!! That's ANOTHER thing!! The MAJOR irony in this story! This ALSO reminds me of the story "The Gift of the Magi" or something like that. Where a man buys a comb for his wife, but sells his pocket watch to get it. The woman buys a gold watch chain for her husband, but cuts off her hair for it and BAM... major irony. Well, there is nothing that Lars did to make it ironic, not knowingly anyway, but James took care of that. He wanted to become younger, to make Lars happy, to bring back the old spark. But what does it do? It literally KILLS Lars! And I could NOT have asked for a better ending... I mean... it made me cry. No better ending than that!! :heart: :heart: :heart:

A+ GREAT JOB! LOVE it!! Written beautifully! :heart:
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Jungleland
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:D thanks a lot!
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Isis
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Isis
October 20, 2011, 4:28 pm
LOVED IT. Definitely the best damn story on the forums. It has all the elements I love in a story. Beautiful romance, severe angst, desperation, helplessness, hopelessness, and the supernatural element is like a cherry on top.

Someone might argue that this is a cliche Monkeys Paw story--wish for something bad, the consequences after, but it's done so well with strong, minute details that give away a lot in so little (your forte). On top of that, the best part is that James sucks the life out of Lars to keep his own. You wanna talk consequences? Shit, that's one hell of a fucking consequence. He wanted to be young for Lars, and he ends up killing him. God, the angst. The fact that James doesn't notice it until the very end, when his younger self has taken over and the scene where his older self is screaming in his head for Lars--that is so powerful it hurts.

The whole idea of James regressing backwards is fascinating and spooky. I mean, for those who don't like modern day James and wish he would be his younger self--fan and James in this story alike, it happens. You get your younger James who is back to just flirting and fucking anything that moves, is aggressive, drinks beer, the macho man women (and men) want. You know what I mean? You hear them all the time on Youtube. "HETFIELD SHOULD GO BACK TO DRINKING." So he does. And what is the outcome but an awful James who hurts the ones he loves, not just Lars, but Kirk, Rob... again, back to that old adage. "Be careful what you wish for." The tattoos fading, his eyesight going, the beer coming back, etc. Love it.

On top of that your characterization was so spot on. Rob, Kirk, Lars and your James, but I expect nothing less considering you write the best James ever. He comes across so real, as does Lars. I can hear them when I read your words. Even the romance part of James, that seems so him. No adages of love or professing flowery language. The love is inherit in there, in the story, with his actions and what happens in the story. So well done here.

I could quote so many passages out of this story it's fucking ridiculous. The whole crash scene in part 1. I could see James in that crash. I love how you chose the right words needed to paint a gruesome, hurtful picture in my head. Then there's that part where Lars in part 2 realizes all the anger he had against James was so useless. Kirk's shock and realization as to what's going on with James in part 4, and the funny part where he's like, THANK GOD I GOT OLDER, lol, that's so Kirk. And Rob, quietly there for Lars, and James's jealous over their relationship... I just love it all. The BEST part though? In part 5, James, his skin peeling over while he sits bloody in the car crash, signs of Montreal, and how it's like, such a BRUTAL fucking image, as well as grotesque, as well as a fucking metaphor for how distraught and hurt he is that Lars is dead now, and it's all his fault. His skin is peeling off, trying to get away from himself. Trying to just die. Montreal was the time when James COULD have died, and now he just wants to die, and he dies in that time period, when things could've changed for the worst--and now they are in the worst, now, in 2010. Man. Fucking awesome.

Seriously, in addition, the ending of part 5. "Don't say that." I can hear it, and see it, James's face as he hugs Lars to him, realizing the whole moral of the story is beyond "be careful what you wish for," it's to enjoy what you have and don't let it go.

tl;dr: I love this story and I don't give two shits that you think it's weird or ridiculous. It's wonderful and I'm happy you shared it here. Here's hoping others feel the same way. If not, idgaf. :heart:
Re-read this and I still stand by everything I said before. I'd like to add though that in Part 3 where James acts like the old James and forgets about things, including forgetting about Lars--it's like it's not forgetting about Lars, he's way, way, way less appreciative of him, and he's back to his super-repressive ways. That's because he's forgotten all the wisdom and experienced those years post-rehab gave him, and he's back to his old self. The younger he gets, the more brash he gets, and the more brash he gets... the more older Lars gets... and the more older Lars gets, the closer Lars gets to dying. ;_;

Still the best story I read for 2011. :heart:
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Jungleland
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Stop it :P
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Isis
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Jungleland
January 12, 2012, 11:46 pm
Stop it :P
No. :heart:
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Orionhearted
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Frantic
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Great concept, something a bit different! Very emotionally charged :heart:
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Jungleland
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Thanks :)
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ForeverHetfield94 <3
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Isis
January 12, 2012, 11:00 pm
Isis
October 20, 2011, 4:28 pm
LOVED IT. Definitely the best damn story on the forums. It has all the elements I love in a story. Beautiful romance, severe angst, desperation, helplessness, hopelessness, and the supernatural element is like a cherry on top.

Someone might argue that this is a cliche Monkeys Paw story--wish for something bad, the consequences after, but it's done so well with strong, minute details that give away a lot in so little (your forte). On top of that, the best part is that James sucks the life out of Lars to keep his own. You wanna talk consequences? Shit, that's one hell of a fucking consequence. He wanted to be young for Lars, and he ends up killing him. God, the angst. The fact that James doesn't notice it until the very end, when his younger self has taken over and the scene where his older self is screaming in his head for Lars--that is so powerful it hurts.

The whole idea of James regressing backwards is fascinating and spooky. I mean, for those who don't like modern day James and wish he would be his younger self--fan and James in this story alike, it happens. You get your younger James who is back to just flirting and fucking anything that moves, is aggressive, drinks beer, the macho man women (and men) want. You know what I mean? You hear them all the time on Youtube. "HETFIELD SHOULD GO BACK TO DRINKING." So he does. And what is the outcome but an awful James who hurts the ones he loves, not just Lars, but Kirk, Rob... again, back to that old adage. "Be careful what you wish for." The tattoos fading, his eyesight going, the beer coming back, etc. Love it.

On top of that your characterization was so spot on. Rob, Kirk, Lars and your James, but I expect nothing less considering you write the best James ever. He comes across so real, as does Lars. I can hear them when I read your words. Even the romance part of James, that seems so him. No adages of love or professing flowery language. The love is inherit in there, in the story, with his actions and what happens in the story. So well done here.

I could quote so many passages out of this story it's fucking ridiculous. The whole crash scene in part 1. I could see James in that crash. I love how you chose the right words needed to paint a gruesome, hurtful picture in my head. Then there's that part where Lars in part 2 realizes all the anger he had against James was so useless. Kirk's shock and realization as to what's going on with James in part 4, and the funny part where he's like, THANK GOD I GOT OLDER, lol, that's so Kirk. And Rob, quietly there for Lars, and James's jealous over their relationship... I just love it all. The BEST part though? In part 5, James, his skin peeling over while he sits bloody in the car crash, signs of Montreal, and how it's like, such a BRUTAL fucking image, as well as grotesque, as well as a fucking metaphor for how distraught and hurt he is that Lars is dead now, and it's all his fault. His skin is peeling off, trying to get away from himself. Trying to just die. Montreal was the time when James COULD have died, and now he just wants to die, and he dies in that time period, when things could've changed for the worst--and now they are in the worst, now, in 2010. Man. Fucking awesome.

Seriously, in addition, the ending of part 5. "Don't say that." I can hear it, and see it, James's face as he hugs Lars to him, realizing the whole moral of the story is beyond "be careful what you wish for," it's to enjoy what you have and don't let it go.

tl;dr: I love this story and I don't give two shits that you think it's weird or ridiculous. It's wonderful and I'm happy you shared it here. Here's hoping others feel the same way. If not, idgaf. :heart:
Re-read this and I still stand by everything I said before. I'd like to add though that in Part 3 where James acts like the old James and forgets about things, including forgetting about Lars--it's like it's not forgetting about Lars, he's way, way, way less appreciative of him, and he's back to his super-repressive ways. That's because he's forgotten all the wisdom and experienced those years post-rehab gave him, and he's back to his old self. The younger he gets, the more brash he gets, and the more brash he gets... the more older Lars gets... and the more older Lars gets, the closer Lars gets to dying. ;_;

Still the best story I read for 2011. :heart:
Ugh this has to be the 3rd time I have read this story. I still cry... :heart:
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Jungleland
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Aw. Thank you :heart:
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