Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to zetaboards. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
A Taste of Eternity; Het, Baby James meets Stephanie...
Topic Started: December 19, 2011, 4:35 pm (18,973 Views)
Lilith
Member Avatar
Jaimelicious

OMG! I can't believe I missed all this! :cloud9 :lol: :lol: :lol: And they did it! xD Oh, my! I would keep it a secret to her parents if I were them... lol
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nah Bruno
Member Avatar
Poor Twisted Me
[ * ]
They are so cute and wild. I love it wasn't a cliché wedding :nanner:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Scorpion Flower
Member Avatar
Outlaw Torn
[ * ]
2010 - Present time

My cell phone just rang, I saw his number much to my surprise.

“Where are you?” I asked him as I answered the call.

“In the basement, can you meet me down here?” I began to laugh, he was calling me from inside our house.

“Are you hiding from them?” I joked.

“How did we end up having four kids?”

“Well we planned all of them except for Andrea, it’s a bit late to regret it.” I kept on joking.

“Sometimes I need to hide to have some quiet time. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of them and I don’t regret a thing, I just need to be quiet now. Can you come down here? I need you…” I could tell he was serious. I mumbled a ok and I just went downstairs. I confess I tip toed when walking by the living room. They were all there watching a movie and I knew if they felt my presence I wouldn’t be able to meet their father as he requested. Four kids occupied must of our time and sometimes we just had to “run”. He was laid on the black couch we had in there. The basement was his refugee and it had been decorated mostly by him. I pulled a chair and sat in front of him. He had a concerned look on his face.

“What is it?” I asked running a hand through his hair.

“I am thinking about Andrea…” He mumbled.

“This is giving you a hard time isn’t it?”

“It’s hard to see her grow and even harder to accept it.” He smiled. “How do you exactly feel about the weekend she’s been asking us?” I sighed. What could I tell him?

“She’s already 17, it’s not like we can control her steps all the time but at the same time…” He didn’t let me finish.

“Letting her go alone with a boy seems a bit anti parenthood.” He concluded. I just nodded. “Yeah…that’s exactly what I am thinking.” He reached for my hand and kissed it. “I don’t want her to think I am the evil father by not letting her go, but as a father I can’t let her go. Do you know how I feel? I am sorry for the expression I am going to use, but it seems like by saying yes I am spreading her legs open to the boy.” I wasn’t shocked by his words.

“Someone could have warned us that being a parent was a hard task.” I told him and he laughed.

“But do you understand my point of view, do you understand why I can’t say she can go?” I nodded. He needed to let it all out. “I know I’ve known the boy for quite some time, they have been partners in school for years and they claim to be friends all the time but when I see them together here or anywhere else, do you know of whom they remind me of?” I nodded again.

“I know…” I said.

“But I am also afraid that I’ll make a huge mistake. I know I have to give her wings, I have to let her grow but I am afraid she’d spread her wings too far and this is not a matter of trust, she’s has proven us trust so many times.”

“Whatever you decide, I’ll support you.” I told him.

“I know. I am just afraid that what I decide is not correct. “ I got up and kissed his lips.

“What you decide is always correct. You are her father so you tend to know what’s best, on the other hand it doesn’t matter how hard we try to protect her, if something has to happen, it will happen whether it’s here or down in LA. Look at how much time they spend together?” I tried to rest him. I knew deep inside he was giving it a thought but he didn’t want to let her go. There’s no way he’d let his little girl alone in another city with a boy.

“He’s a good boy isn’t he?” He asked me. I nodded again. I never saw him struggling so much with a decision concerning our kids. I gave him another kiss and walked to the door.

“Look, I also don’t want her to go.” I said before closing the door behind me. I knew he would never say yes so I think it was better from him to feel that I was on his side, he’d feel more supported when delivering his final word to our daughter Andrea.

Back to 1985, Las Vegas

James and I decided to go back to the hotel with our minds filled with dirty thoughts. We made all the way there holding onto each other, stopping here and there to kiss. My heart skipped a beat in anticipation when my eyes finally saw our hotel. James held my hand and we crossed the street running. James took a hand to the door that led us to the lobby and there our eyes widened.

“My parents!” I exclaimed. None of us needed words. Great minds think alike or so they say. We turned back at the same time and we hidden ourselves in a corner until we finally saw my parents leaving. Giving them a safe distance we then made our way in.

“Eventually, we have to tell them.” James said when we were waiting for the elevator.

“I don’t know how.” I said. I didn’t have a clue of how to deliver the news to them but James was right, we had to tell them and the sooner the better. When the door closed James grabbed me from the behind and pulled to him and kissed my neck. I smiled.

“Already warming me up?” I teased him.

“The sooner the better. I can’t wait to have you.” He whispered in my ear running the tip of his tongue in it. My skin reacted immediately. Goose bumps all over it. I sighed when his hands grabbed both my breasts and he squeezed a bit not stopping kissing my neck, then the elevator stopped and door opened. James crouched a bit and then grabbed me in his arms.

“Let’s do this properly.” He said carrying me in his arms to our room, putting me down just to open the door and then grabbing me again. He threw the keys on the floor and kicked the door shut carrying me directly to the room, laying me down on the bed carefully. He placed himself on top of me and I pulled him down for a kiss. We took our time in that kiss, we teased our lips with little juicy kisses and when I was thirsty enough for his tongue, I glued my lips in his and parted them so he could go in. We kissed until we ran out of breath. Every time we kissed my desire to have him grew, but that was our special time and James was so committed to make it special. He was driving me crazy.

His fingers came in the middle of us and he sat on top of me unbuttoning my shirt slowly, our eyes never breaking contact. His eyes were dark with lust and his fingers burned my skin whenever they touched it. When my shirt was fully unbuttoned he ran his hands up from by belly until my shoulders then he bent over me and he tugged his fingers in the straps of my bra pulling them down in another slow move, his lips kissed one my shoulders as he did it. I tugged my hand in his hair enjoying the warmth of his soft lips in my skin, then he searched for my lips again. He was eager and demanding, I felt his hand going under my skirt, he ran it all the way up until my thighs while we kissed passionately.

“Jamie…” I breathed against his lips trying to catch some air but he shut me up with another kiss. I reached for his shirt while kissing, I wanted to feel his skin. He strayed a bit so I could pull it through his head, then it was the turn of my bra to disappear. James threw it on the floor, everything was an obstacle. His hands roamed to my breasts immediately. His touch felt so good, better than any other time I could remember, when he captured one of my nipples with his mouth my body arched in a unwittingly move and I gasped. I was feeling him hard against me, I almost could feel his length pulsing against me. I took my hands between us and I unclasped his jeans, I slid my hand inside and grabbed his hardness in my hand.

“Oh…Steph…” He moaned. He didn’t resist to move against my hand I liked that feeling a lot. I took my hands to his chest and made him lay on the bed. James looked at me with a questioning look but didn’t say a word. I got free of my skirt standing just in my black lacy panties and then I pulled his jeans and boxers down. I sat on him and kissed him, then I kissed every inch of his skin until I reached his navel. I stopped there and again I grabbed his length in my hand and I stroke him gently. “God…” He whispered. I looked up at him and his eyes were closed. I went down a bit more and licked all the way up to his hard member. “Fuuck…” He said far too gone with my caresses. There, I took him in my mouth and my lips closed around him, pleasuring him.

He thrust gently with his hands clutched onto my head. “Yeah…baby…” He whispered, then I began to feel the salty taste of his fluids, there he pulled my head up. “You have to stop.” He whispered. It was his turn to lay me on my back. He pulled my panties down my legs standing on his knees right in front of me. I was burning for him. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him down. He supported himself on his hands looking straight in my eyes and then I felt him adjusting his way inside of me. I closed my eyes when I felt him go all his way in and I moaned at the back of my throat.

“Don’t close your eyes Steph. Look at me.” He whispered. I opened them and met his gaze. He began to move back and forward slowly, sending me to heaven. Soon he leaned on his elbows to be closer, I raised my head a bit to kiss him.

“You are driving me so insane here.” I said against his lips. James opened a smile.

“You taste so good Steph and you feel so damn good.” I felt his body jerk a bit, he was close. He only proved me right increasing his speed. Our bodies began to clasp and shake. “Come baby…” He said in my ear. Then he bit my shoulder and my whole body quivered, I gasped his name more than once. My nails rammed on his back, his body beginning to quiver as well.

“God Steph…” Was all he said while I felt him release inside of me.

James got off me panting but pulled me with his arm at the same time. I laid my head on his chest running my hand over it trying to catch my breath too. He kissed the top of my head and I looked up at him.

“Can you repeat your vows?” I asked him. I needed to hear it one more time.

“I don’t know if I remember the exact words…” He said unsure. I rested on one elbow looking at him.

“It doesn’t matter, can you at least try?” I insisted.

“Ok…I’ll improvise if I don’t remember it quite well, but are still vows“ He giggled a bit. James sat on the bed and pulled me up to sit too. He stared at me for a while and then he took the ring off my finger.

“It’s ok…“ I said and then he spoke.

“I love you enough to fight for you, compromise for you and sacrifice myself for you. Enough to miss you incredible when we are apart, no matter what length of time it’s for and regardless of the distance. Enough to believe in our relationship, to stand by it through the worst of times, to have faith in our strength as a couple and to never ever give up on us. Enough to spend the rest of my life with you, be there for you when you need or want me to and never ever want to leave you or live without you.... I love you this much…” Then he grabbed my hand. “Steph, I will stay by your side as your husband. Take this ring as a sign of my love.” There he stick the ring in my finger and I was crying like a baby. My tears rolled down my cheek as I heard those words for the second time, this time with no side effects. He kissed my tears and then my lips. “I would never be able to say this and to do this with another person Steph. Only you can make me speak like this, only you make me feel this.”

“You were a miracle in my life Jamie.” I told him. Then the phone in our room rang and it broke the moment. I stretched my arm to pick it up.

“Hello?” I said as I answered the call.

“Steph sweetie it’s mom.” My mother said on the other side. I felt dizzy as reality turned back.

“Hi mom.” I said widening my eyes at James. He threw himself on the bed and covered his face with my pillow. He began to shake his head as he heard the word “dinner” but I shrugged at him, what was I supposed to do?

“We have to meet them downstairs in half an hour.” I told him.

“What are we gonna tell them? How are we gonna tell them?” I shrugged again at him. I didn’t have a clue of how to tell my parents that I was no longer a Flannigan. We showered fast and got dressed even faster. We put our rings in the pockets of our jeans. It was not a good idea to appear there wearing two brand new rings because it would show before we say a thing. We greeted them nervously when we got there and sat in front of them, both of us with our hands between our knees. That’s how clueless and nervous we were. My parents looked at me and then at James, they knew something was wrong, so they kept staring at us.

“What happened?” My mother asked. “You two look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Nothing happened.” I said. My voice was trembling.

“We got married.” James blurted. I smacked him. I faked a smile and looked at my parents. I’ve never seen their eyes so big.

“What?” My father finally said.

“We got married last night.” I said looking down at my feet.

“Was it even conscious?” My father kept going. My mother was silent looking at both of us.

“It was. We wanted to do it. We’ve been living together so this only makes it official.” I said. My father looked at James for an explanation.

“S…S…Sir…” He stuttered. “I am sorry we did it the way we did it but we love each other and I hope you understand.”

“You’re our only daughter! I hoped to make this differently.” My mother was finally able to say.

“I know mom, but this is how we’ve chosen to do it. We’re happy, so please, please be happy for us.” I took the ring off my pocket and placed it on my finger, stretching my hand the next moment so they could see it. “I am happy.” I said smiling.

“Where’s yours?” My father asked James. James took his off his pocket and put on his finger as well.

“You two are two idiots.” My father said. It almost made me laugh. “At least when it’s time for a child don’t tell me just when the baby is already born.” He added. I had to laugh at my father’s irony.

“We’re not thinking about kids yet sir.” James said serious. He was taking my father’s comment as a serious one.

“Jamie, my father was joking.” I said.

“No I am not. The way you two do things I wouldn’t be surprise! You never told us you were living together, we found out by ourselves, now you got married and didn’t tell us again, so…” James and I chuckled and then began to laugh, my parents ended up laughing too. “Hope one day your daughter won’t come up to you and say she got married, then you’ll know the feeling. Other than that, I wish you two all the best. We need to celebrate this then.”

My father ordered a bottle of champagne and we were both grateful my parents took the news quite well.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Helvi
Member Avatar
Frantic
[ * ]
Sweeeeeet :heart:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Anselmo's Girl
Member Avatar
Phil crazy!
[ * ]
Yay! Glad they told her parents and that they accepted it quite well :D moooore!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Voxx
Member Avatar
Some Kind Of Monster
[ * ]
I'm surprised that her parents weren't angry! Though in hindsight, I'm glad.

It made me laugh when Steph's dad made that comment about hoping their own daughter, if they have one, doesn't do some of the things that they have done! It just makes me think back to the scenes you have set in the present and James being unable to let his daughter go! I think all he can think about is what he was like at her age and all the things that he did with girls back then :P

It's very cute and very endearing! :heart:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Lilith
Member Avatar
Jaimelicious

This story is so sweet... :heart: :3 :heart: I also love the parallelism between 2002 and 1985... yes, we parents don't want our kids to do many of the things we have done... :biggrin
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nah Bruno
Member Avatar
Poor Twisted Me
[ * ]
Steph has the coolest parents ever! :lol: Good they took the news well. I'm so curious to read the rest of the story! :D
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Scorpion Flower
Member Avatar
Outlaw Torn
[ * ]
2010 - Present time

As I left him in his quietness I saw my four kids on the couch watching a movie attentively. I peeked.

“Andrea, can I talk to you?” I addressed to my older daughter. She looked at me and got up.

“Seems like you’re not having your weekend!” A voice came from inside the living room.

“Shut up Preston! Leave your sister alone.” I said to my 13 years old boy. I guided her to her room and we both sat on her bed.

“Dad is not letting me go right?” She said with her blue eyes filled with tears. I shook my head.

“He’s struggling with it but I don’t think he’s gonna let you go sweetie. I am sorry. Just try not to be rude with him when he deliver the final news.” I asked her. My daughter sobbed a bit and I ran a hand through her hair.

“I wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.” She whimpered.

“We know, but we’re your parents and we’re not ok with is.” I tried to explain. When I said this the door of her bedroom opened up and he quietly came in sitting next to her. He ran a hand through her hair and when he was about to clean her tears she turned her face and strayed. He looked at me with his face broken. I shrugged. I could understand her but I also could understand him and I was on his side.

“Sweet heart…” He said. “I cannot let you go alone with a boy for a weekend Andrea. I know that this is the end of world to you and I don’t want you to think that I am fine with my decision ‘cause it hurts too much to tell you no but as your father sweetie, I can’t do this. I can’t, I don’t feel comfortable with it.” She looked at him.

“You’ve always trusted me.” She pleaded.

“This is different. One day when you have your own kids you’ll understand. It’s hard to accept the fact that you’re grown up now, to me you’re still my little girl, the one I don’t want to let go. Sometimes I still want to rock you in my arms to sleep and I can’t do that anymore.” Andrea smiled and giggled.

“Yes you can. I never said you couldn’t.” He pulled her to his arms smiling. Andrea laughed loud and so did I. At this point I was already cleaning my tears.

“So, this is not about the fact that I arrived without a warning when you and mom were not even together?” She said. We both hooted with laughter. He kissed the top of her head.

“That’s what makes you so special, you brought us together, you also scared the shit out of us, but well…” He said joking. Then he cupped her face between his hands. “You may hate me for doing this sweetie and you may think I am a lousy father but I truly can’t let you go with him alone. I am so sorry.” Andrea clutched onto his neck into a tight hug.

“You were never a lousy father and certainly you aren’t one now. I am proud of you daddy. I am really proud of everything you did for me, for mom and for my brothers. I will always be proud of you. I’m proud of everything you’ve become. You make me proud every day and I love you daddy, I could never hate you.” He hugged her even tighter with tears rolling down his cheeks hearing her words. I was crying too. I held onto him with our daughter in the middle, he stretched his arms to hold me back.

“I love you both.” I whispered.

San Francisco - 1985

Two weeks gone. James and I came back to our house with a different marital status. Same day we arrived we invited all our close friends for a dinner in our house. Cliff and Corinne, Lars and Debbie and Kirk and Rebecca. We spent all afternoon shopping for groceries to make a special dinner where we would announce to them that we’ve gotten married in Las Vegas. We didn’t know how they would react, surprised for sure and then happy for us too. After all, especially Lars, they all had been around long enough to know how much we loved each other.

After getting everything ready, I left James looking after the dinner that was in the oven and I went for a shower. When I got out Lars and Debbie were already there. I greeted them with enthusiasm. I had missed them while we were away. James and I didn’t say a thing, we wanted to deliver the news when all of them were there, Lars didn’t even noticed the rings in our hands which shows how much that was on the back of their heads. Half an hour later the last ones arrived. Not even Cliff or Kirk noticed the rings.

“So, what’s the special occasion?” Cliff asked already with a beer in his hand.

“We were just missing you guys.” James said casually sat on our couch.

“Nah, you don’t fool me Hetfield. You gather all of us here, you have something to tell us.” Cliff insisted. James got up and cleared his throat, before he spoke he grabbed my hand.

“We just wanted to tell you that Steph and I got married in Vegas.” He said proudly. Cliff spat the beer he had in his mouth and began to laugh.

“That is not working either fucker.” Cliff said in disbelief. All of them were looking at us not believing his words. In a unwittingly move we both stretched out our left hands showing them the rings.

“Motherfucker!” Lars blurted with his eyes wide open.

“Wait a second, that doesn’t prove shit, you guys can buy rings and still didn’t do it.” Cliff said. James and I looked at each other and shrugged.

“Guys, honestly, we did it.” James pleaded. Cliff laughed. I turned around and went to my room. There was only one way to make them believe in us. I came back with the certificate of our marriage in my hand and then I handed it to Cliff. He grabbed the paper and began to read.

“James and Stephanie Hetfield!” He shouted. “Motherfucker, you guys really did it!” He said laughing loud.

“They did?” Kirk asked ripping the paper off Cliff’s hands, meanwhile Cliff was already bear hugging James and then me. “Holy shit!” Kirk exclaimed reading the paper with his own eyes. There was a group hug and lots of words to wish us all the best.

“I have to have the final word!” Lars said raising a hand. “First of all, I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to be your best man, I deserved it.” He said pointing at James. “Second, I’ve always thought you would make it. You two have been in love since I’ve met you and then there was a period where it seemed you two hated each other but that was, in fact, when Steph realized she was in love with you, you knew you were in love with her already and it had been a long time. I never thought you’d did it the way you did though. I wanted to be there to bless you guys and to witness the moment, after all I feel like this is my victory as well, as I spent my time supporting your relationship. That said…” He raised his bottle. “I wish you all the best in the world and you two had balls man. You are meant to be together, none of us has a doubt and the fact that the two of you left trying to pick up the pieces and get it back together and came back married shows exactly that. Cheers.” We all cheered with him.

After dinner we played them the tape of our wedding in our video recorder, we were comfortable enough to share it with them. When they realized how drunk we were it was a riot. Neighbors smacked on the walls for us to calm down. We told them the whole story behind our marriage, the day we had and the day after. They laughed to tears, still they all supported our action. We couldn’t be happier, to be back home and share our moment with our friends was beyond perfect. We couldn’t wait to be back home and share it with them, after a few days that was all we talked about.

We had enough booze in the house to keep us entertained for quite some time. James and I were tired of the trip and we didn’t feel like going out, we just wanted a quiet night at home and that’s why we’ve chosen to do it that way. Once the guys began to talk about the band and studio I grabbed my beer and went to my balcony. I looked around the view for a while and some fear assaulted me. I was home, I was back, but I was also back to the danger that made us go away. I sure wasn’t craving anymore, or at least my body wasn’t but coming back to college was making me shake. My head definitely hammered on that ever since I entered the city of San Francisco. I felt some steps behind me, Cliff approached me.

“So, are you happy?” He asked me beginning the conversation. I nodded at him smiling.

“First, when I realized what we have done, I was scared shitless. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t want to be married to him but the way we did it, it was sudden, I have to admit that. So when I was conscious I was scared. Now I am fine and I am happy. I couldn’t be happier. He’s the one Cliff, I cannot deny that.” Cliff took a sip of his beer and pulled for a cigarette.

“What about the rest Steph?” He asked. “I know why James wanted to take you away from here. How’s that going?” I knew what he was referring to. Obviously he was mentioning the drugs.

“He was awesome with me Cliff. First nights were so tough, I craved badly. I trembled, I choked, I suffered from extreme heat, like my body was catching on fire, I threw up and he was always there, holding my hair so I wouldn’t puke on it, taking cold showers in the middle of the night so I could have his arms around me. Most of the times he didn’t know what to do, but he always tried to do something and that meant a lot. I made a promise to never touch the stuff again, for him mostly, because he deserves it. He deserves the best of me. I was going to end up killing myself, he saved my life. I owe him my life.”

“Is that why you married him?”

“Because I am so grateful?” I shook my head. “I am grateful but I married him for the love I feel for him. Obviously I can’t thank him enough for what he’s done but my love for him was the major reason. I couldn’t marry anyone else in this life.”

“And now that you’re back Steph…relapsing is easy my friend. Are you ready to face college and be close to the guy that can offer you your pills quite easily.” Cliff said. I bit my upper lip nervously. “Oh…Steph…” He said looking at me.

“It doesn’t even cross my mind to go back to the stuff. I’ll fight it with all I have but yes, since I came back it’s been hammering on my mind and I am scared because I haven’t been thinking about it but since we got here…” I sighed.

“You have to be strong little one.” Cliff said patting my head. “Be strong, for you and for him.” Cliff said pointing at James. He was sat on the floor of our living room talking to Lars with a huge smile. Happiness written all over his face, I smiled just from watching him. “He loves you so much.” Cliff said in my ear. I looked up at him.

“I love him too.” I whispered.

Tired of being at home they all began to defy James and I to go out, we ended up agreeing. We went to the usual club where we used to hang out. Actually it was the first club James and I ever met in San Francisco, the one where we first met Cliff. Music was playing, non metal for a change but it was agreeable. We all stood talking to each other in harmony and perfect pleasure. James holding my hand all the time, he had been the sweetest thing since we got married. Even when making love to me he was different, more demanding, always after the perfect performance, taking and spending time with me and on me. In what came up to sex I couldn’t complain at all. While we were all talking I distracted myself a bit looking around, looking for familiar faces, then I saw him.

A familiar face was right in front of me, his perfect teeth showing in a smile directed to me. My hands began to shake, my knees began to shake. I felt weak as I realized Mark was right in front of me. My heart raced and my head began to spin. I told James I was going to the bathroom. In there I splashed water over my face, the pills hammering on my head, I was frantic. When I left the toilets he was in the corridor waiting for me, I tried to ignore him but he grabbed my arm.

“Want some stuff Steph?” He asked. I stood still for a moment but then I ripped my arm off his hand and began to ran. I clutched onto James’s hand. I was cold, pale and shaking.

“Babe what is it?” He asked looking at me, leaving his conversation in some random place.

“I wanna go home.” I said. My voice came out in hiccups, that’s how nervous I was.

“Are you ok Steph?” He asked again.

“Please, take me home. I wanna go home now.” I said waving fast at the guys and leaving the place behind me. James ran after me, he caught me near our car.

“Hey, can you please explain what is wrong with you? What the fuck happened?” He asked me. I was already at the other side of the car waiting for him to open it so I could get in.

“Mark was there ok. He offered me stuff. I can’t be there. I can’t.” I said crying. James looked at me seriously and unlocked the car next second, we both hopped in it and then he pulled me to him holding me in his arms.

“It’s ok babe. Let’s go home.” He said kissing my head and starting the engine. We didn’t share a word on our way back home and once there, after James had done all he needed in it, I locked myself in the bathroom trying to calm down. I could hear his steps outside the door. After a while he knocked.

“Steph, are you alright?” He asked me.

“I am fine. I just need to be alone for a minute.” I told him. I hoped my words would rest him but still I heard his steps, he was walking from one side to another.

“Steph…” He called again. “You didn’t buy anything from him right?” His words hurt me. I got up from the toilet and opened the door, he was standing right in front of it. I looked at him disappointed.

“That’s how much you trust me?” I asked. He clearly saw the consequence of his action.

“I am sorry.” He said instantly but then I also knew why he asked that, it was not a matter of trust. He was concerned, I was an addict and like Cliff said relapsing it’s so easy. I put my arms around him.

“I understand.” I said.

“I shouldn’t have asked that.” He said. I rested my chin on his chest and looked up.

“I need therapy Jamie.” I delivered the news. “That’s what I was thinking about. I can’t do this by myself, I need help, professional help. I need help to deal with my head. The body is ok now, but my head is a mess.” James bent over me and kissed me.

“We’ll look for help tomorrow.”
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Anselmo's Girl
Member Avatar
Phil crazy!
[ * ]
I'm glad Andrea wasn't to upset and I'm glad Stephanie didn't buy pills and told James she needed help!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Voxx
Member Avatar
Some Kind Of Monster
[ * ]
What I loved most about this chapter was that in the future, you alluded to the fact that they had their first child when they weren't necessarily still together! Now I want to know why and how they break up and then subsequently why they get back together!!

Great writing! :heart:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Anselmo's Girl
Member Avatar
Phil crazy!
[ * ]
Voxx
January 25, 2012, 8:00 pm
What I loved most about this chapter was that in the future, you alluded to the fact that they had their first child when they weren't necessarily still together! Now I want to know why and how they break up and then subsequently why they get back together!!

Great writing! :heart:
oh wow i never thought bout that!!! oh boy i wanna know too
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Lilith
Member Avatar
Jaimelicious

They are a wonderful family in the future! :cloud9 And they started with the right foot as a married couple in SF, I think with James' help she'll be able to overcome this. :horns2 Yet... once he's gone again in the future... will she be that strong? :(
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Nah Bruno
Member Avatar
Poor Twisted Me
[ * ]
The future makes me confused :wink
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Scorpion Flower
Member Avatar
Outlaw Torn
[ * ]
I sure needed therapy. I wasn’t craving physically but mentally everything returned when I stepped in town. I realized I couldn’t deal with my head all by myself, not even my love for James would be enough. If I hadn’t taking that decision I would have fallen into my bad habits again for sure. So, the day after, we searched for professional help, it lasted for months but it helped me to cope with my last semester that year. No one knew I was doing it except for him. Having him at home while doing it was perfect and it helped me too. He went to some sessions as the therapist requested. We made it together and we succeeded, after long months the doctor told me I was free to go. I was afraid at first, I didn’t know if I was ready to be free but time has proven he was right. I went to college completely free and clean and with my mind at peace.

During the rest of that year and some part of 1986 Metallica was on studio recording their third album, it was released that year under the name of “Master of Puppets”, it was another step up in their career. Even I thought, when I began to listen to parts of it in the studio, that it was going to be a success. It was perfect. Every guitar solo, every guitar riff, every word of the lyrics was perfect. They surpassed themselves. I was proud they were so talented and I was proud that at some point I was part of that success. Sometimes I was surprised at James’s lyrics, sometimes I was scared of how he was capable of pulling out such darkness, never fully realizing he was under that darkness, that came only years after, unfortunately.

After the album the tour arrived. First, they toured the States, some insecurity invaded me, for the reasons you already know but I made the best I could to shake those thoughts away, especially because I was making another year in my course and I needed to be focus. Their tour was a success and so was my school year. Like promised, during the summer when they had to tour Europe and my fourth year of college was done, James took me on tour with him. I had only two more years to go before I become officially a doctor, God I was happy.

Touring was nothing but absolute insanity, with everything that insanity involves. It was nothing close to fancy like Lars has always told. I caught myself thinking countless times how they could stand that. Little hours of sleep, booze every day, lousy showers, lousy bunks. Traveling by bus made us exhausted. There were cities that I had been and that I didn’t know at all because it was arriving, playing and then leaving to another city in another country. See the insanity? Imagine yourself doing this for months in a row. I don’t know how they could take this and even enjoying it.

Still, and apart from all the insanity I loved the little times we had to be together. The things we did together, all the fun, all the games, all the craziness. The boys made their best to make me feel part of the gang. Well, I was part of the gang but not part of the touring gang. The concerts were always a blast and a highlight to me. I always felt so proud of them whenever they stepped up on stage. Proud because I had my best friends in there and above all because their front man was the man I loved. I loved when he pulled out his evil side on that stage, when he held the guitar in his arms and he ruled the world. I loved the way he was able to set the crowd on fire and when they shouted Metallica out loud it always brought tears to my eyes. I, above all, knew how much they had fought to be there. Most of the times I watched the show from one side of the stage but when it were festivals, I always ended up mixing myself with the crowd with other crew members, then at the end of the show I would come back to my condition as rockstar wife and meet my king backstage.

As Metallica was beginning to get big attention of the media, one part I didn’t like was getting some attention of the media myself. Once they discovered I was James’s wife they began to come after me, always trying to get some photos or even my opinion. I remember I talked to the press once, they caught James coming out to watch some band and I was with him so they wanted to hear me as well. I didn’t like the feeling, I loved to be anonymous but I realized my anonymity was ending. I became, quite fast, James Hetfield’s wife for the heavy metal press. The price I had to pay for being married to an emerging rockstar in 1986. Press became eager to know things about us but we quickly agreed that US was another thing and another life. Metallica was business, his career, we were behind Metallica and it didn’t concern public opinion.

One night, while we traveled during the night through Sweden our lives changed forever. Not only mine but the band’s as well.

We were all tired, exhausted. Kirk and Cliff were fighting for some bunk, I never understood why they did it but they claimed it was the best place to sleep. I just wanted to sleep, I wanted to rest so I didn’t care where I was going to lay my exhausted and drained body I just wanted to lay it somewhere. I kissed them all goodnight and went to my usual place, close to the one they were fighting for. James joined me a few minutes later and before we fell asleep we heard Cliff celebrating his victory.

“You can kiss my ass Kirk. Ace of spades I love you.” We heard him kiss the card and we chuckled a bit in our improvised bed. Kirk muttered and cursed but ended up giving his place to Cliff. Then it all went silent. We all fell asleep. I don’t know what happened because I was fast asleep and when I woke up, I did it with a bus turned upside down right in front of my eyes and I was out in the cold instead of being warm with my husband by my side. All I know is what they told me later, apparently the bus caught some black ice, it slipped and then it turned around. That night was hell for all of us. Like I said, last thing I knew I was facing the sky, there was a lot of noise around me but I was having a hard time to understand who was talking, who was screaming and what was happening. I was shaking with cold, the night was freezing. I opened my eyes slowly and I felt such weight on top of me. I wanted to move but I couldn’t and I blinked my eyes a thousand times before I could open them. First thing I realized was that my head was hurting incredibly bad. I managed to raise a hand and rubbed my head with it trying to subside the pain, there I felt a sticky thing. I put my hand in front of my eyes and I saw it covered in blood, my blood. I began to panic.

I wanted to move but I wasn’t capable of doing it. I was stuck but I couldn’t see what it was. I raised my head a few inches and almost shouted in pain, well I actually shouted but my voice didn’t come out. I realized I was weak. That’s when I saw the wheels of the bus right in front of me, there I knew we had had an accident. I laid back and whimpered as my head was killing me then I heard James. I began to listen and recognize the voices. They were all in panic.

“Find my wife!” James shouted. He was crying I could tell.

“Jamie…” I tried to shout so he could listen but I only mumbled a whisper. A person right by my side would have trouble hearing it, let alone him who didn’t have a clue how far he was.

“STEEEEPH!” James shouted again and then he began to shout out loud in panic, sobbing and he shouted my name time and time again.

“Jamie…” I tried again with no success. “I can’t move…” I said, but I was only talking to myself. Tears began to fall down my face. I felt people around the bus, but it was so dark. Then the shouts began to alternate between my name and Cliff’s. I realized Cliff was also missing. I tilted my head to my right side and there I saw his legs. I stretched one arm with difficulty and shook his foot.

“Cliff…” I said. “Cliff help me…” I pleaded. Tears rolling down my face heavily. James still crying out my name, his voice was beginning to fail as he shouted so loud, but I couldn’t shout back. I was trapped, bleeding and with pain all over me. I called Cliff again. “Cliff wake up, I need you to help me, I have something on me.” I said. I insisted. “Cliff…” Then I raised my head again, frowning as the pain was almost unbearable. I frozen. I could only see his legs, all rest of him was under the bus. “Ohh…” I cried. I laid my head back on the ground and I sobbed. “God no…” I said. The pain was killing me, I just wanted to close my eyes and let go and with Cliff by my side was only making things worse. I knew he was dead and I also knew I couldn’t sleep or I would be next. The bleeding wasn’t subsiding. I touched my wound just to see if it was that bad, I realized I needed stitches and I needed someone to stop the bleeding fast.

“Sir, calm down…” I heard a voice saying.

“I don’t want to calm down. I want my wife! FIND MY WIFE!” James shouted. I could hear him.

“Who else is missing?” The voice asked again.

“Our bass player.” I heard Kirk say.

“Cliff.” James shouted for him. “Steph..” He shouted for me.

“I’m here babe…” I tried again but my voice was nothing but a whisper.

“STEEEEEPH…” I heard him again. His painful shouts were killing me. His voice was nearer I could tell and I heard steps. “Don’t leave me babe.” I heard him say. That was it for me, I had to do something, I had to call attention. I tried to grab something with my hands, I guess it was a rock and I managed to threw it against the bus due to the fact that it was so near. It made noise. I heard steps running towards me. “Steph?” James called.

“Jamie…” I said. I concentrated and tried to speak louder. “Jamie…” I said a bit louder but not louder enough. I closed my eyes with strength and prepared myself to shout. “JAMIIEEE…” I was able to say loud. I felt like my head was going to explode. I arched my back bit in pain and I whimpered loud. I was almost losing my grip when I felt arms around me. I opened my eyes to find James crying on his knees near my body.

“Christ babe, you’re alive.” He told me.

“I need help, go get help.” I asked him. James kissed my cheek his tears landing in my face. When he got up to ask for help he looked to my side, it was his time to freeze.

“Cliff…” He said in a whisper.

“Babe…” I told him sobbing. James looked down at me terrified. “I am so sorry.” That was all I could say. Next thing I woke up in a hospital with my forehead already stitched and the doctor telling James I could go back to the hotel with him because I was just sore and with no broken bones. I tell you, I couldn’t move, I felt like all my bones were broken and my heart was broken for sure. I had lost my dearest Cliff, my big brother, one of my best friends. James looked pale, his eyes swollen. He was shocked.

We were all driven to a hotel after I was released from the hospital. None of us spoke. Painful silence marked that little drive. I looked at James countless times to only find tears rolling down his face, I didn’t know what to tell him or what to do to him, I was also grieving, I was also in pain, I didn’t have the right words to tell him. Cliff meant so much to him, he was his role model, he was his brother too. I was so divided between my own pain and trying to ease the pain of the man I loved. I was unsuccessful. Nothing I’d tell him would make him feel better. Already in our room was even worse. When we shut the door of my room and I sat on the couch because I could barely stand he crouched in front of me, surrounded my legs with his arms and began to sob violently. I took my hands to his hair and caressed it.

“Babe…” I tried to tell him but he shut me up with his pleading words.

“Please Seph…please bring him back. Bring him back to me.” He cried. His words broke my heart even more. There was nothing I could do.

“I can’t Jamie, if I could I would. But I can’t.” I said also sobbing. After long hours trying to calm him down, we both went to bed. I woke up when the day was already up and James wasn’t there. I began to hear a voice on the street. I peeked at my window and it was him shouting Cliff’s name. I cried sat in my bed for a while, then I put some clothes with difficulty and went for him. He didn’t even saw me coming, he was deadly drunk. I grabbed him from the behind.

“Jamie…” I called him. “He can’t come back babe.” I said crying. James stopped walking, he was shaking with his crying. ”He can’t come back babe.” I repeated. James turned around to look at me.

“How could this happen? How could he leave us?”

“He didn’t want to leave my love.” I told him.

“Why do I lose everyone that I love?” He asked. There my heart tore into little pieces again.

“Let’s go back to the room.” I said grabbing his hand. I was walking curved as my back hurt too much. Even in that condition he grabbed in his arms and carried me back to the room. He fell asleep.

That same day, almost at the end of the day we came back to the United States. They were all over the news for the worst reasons on earth. We were all down, broken and silent. We flew for hours without exchanging a word amongst us. Our faces were sad and painful. It hurt too much to know that a coffin was traveling with us, a coffin that carried our best friend. We were no longer the wild and happy kids on tour. We were a bunch of broken and hopeless people.

This was one of the worst nights of my life. I lost someone I loved deeply. This night stayed in my memory as the worst, together with that night, much years later, where I saw Cliff again.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Fully Featured & Customizable Free Forums
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Het / Gen · Next Topic »
Add Reply