Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to zetaboards. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
A Taste of Eternity; Het, Baby James meets Stephanie...
Topic Started: December 19, 2011, 4:35 pm (18,967 Views)
Voxx
Member Avatar
Some Kind Of Monster
[ * ]
Great chapter!

I hope James as made some real progress and doesn't slip backwards after the baby comes!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Lilith
Member Avatar
Jaimelicious

I think James has ben doing a great job in theraphy, and closer to regain her trust. They've become closer too. I have hope having their baby in their arms will finally get them together for good. :heart:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Scorpion Flower
Member Avatar
Outlaw Torn
[ * ]
“We need a doctor!” James shouted. It caught Peter’s attention who came to us almost running.

“What’s the matter?” He asked when he reached us. I smiled at him.

“James is in panic. I need to go upstairs to the obstetrics, my waters broke but I am not in pain, at least, not yet.” I said calm. I was a doctor so I knew what I was getting myself into.

“Oh, so you’re in labor? Congratulations.” Peter said smiling to both of us. James was looking a bit pale.

“You better go have lunch James. I can’t eat anything now since I am going to give birth and I want a anesthesia, then you’ll meet me upstairs. It will take some time yet.” I told him.

“No. I am going with you and then maybe I come back down.” He said firmly. I wouldn’t argue with him. Soft pain was beginning to tease me, the first contractions appeared and I winced. “Are you ok?” He asked taking a hand to my arm as I bent a bit to cope with the pain, still, light pain.

“It’s just a contraction.” I said taking a huge deep breath.

“I’m going with you, then I’ll go have lunch but first I want to be with you.” Like I said, he was stubborn so I didn’t argue. I went to the elevator that led us to the 5th floor where our daughter should be born. The doctor that had followed me through all my pregnancy was there.

“She wanted to come sooner.” I told her smiling.

“Let me check you.” She said grabbing me a wheel chair and taking me inside a room. I waved at James so he could follow us. She took me to a private room and laid me on a bed. I explained to her what happened and she seemed calm. I was calm too, I knew Andrea could be born at any time. Doctor Shatan put me on the CTG machine so she could measure my contractions and also the baby’s heart beat. I knew everything was normal. Then she examined me to see how far my dilatation was. The pain was beginning to increase.

“Just 3 fingers Steph. You have a long way.” She told me. James was sat by my side paying attention to every detail. He’d hold my hand when he realized I was having a contraction to give me support. It sure felt good to have him by my side on that moment.

“Can I have epidural?” I asked her.

“Just when you’re 5 fingers. Did you have anything to eat?” She asked me.

“This morning.”

“Well, just pray that when the time comes it will be 12 hours since you last ate, otherwise you won’t be able to have it.” I began my mental calculations and I felt scared as I was almost sure I’d give birth au naturel, or that is, without an anesthesia. So far the pain was bearable. The doctor left us alone as there was not much we could do now unless wait.

“You can go now, you know everything is fine and you heard the doctor. It’s gonna take some hours. Meanwhile call my parents.” I took a deep breath all of a sudden as I felt a contraction coming. He grabbed my hand and kissed my fingers.

“Is it hurting?” He asked. I swear he asked that with such a sweet tone that I forgot all about the pain.

“It hurts a bit.” I told him. He kept rubbing my hand between his hands. “Jamie…” I called him. It had been a long time since I had called him Jamie. “It’s important for me that you’re here.” He smiled.

“We’re going to see our baby girl today!” He said opening his smile bigger. I smiled back.

“Yes we are. I also need you to go to my place and pick up the bags I have in her room. But that is for later, I’ll tell you about it after she’s born.” He nodded at me. “Now go…” I said. He got up from the chair and kissed my forehead before he left me all alone with my pain. James didn’t take long until he came back, 45 minutes maybe but my pain had increased substantially. I was wriggling in pain when he came back. Contractions are the worst but then there’s always this pain in your kidneys in between contractions that bothers you to the limit. I knew how to do all the respiration exercises to help me cope with the pain but it never disappears and it becomes unbearable like I never thought it could be.

“Hey…” He said when he came inside the room taking back his seat next to my bed, I was in the middle of a contraction so I didn’t answer him, I just whimpered loud and James grabbed my hand squeezing it in support. “It will be alright, just breathe.” He told me.

“I don’t think it’s gonna be alright. It all tends to get worse as the time arrives. It hurts a lot.” I complained.

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked me. I guess he just wanted to distract me. I shook my head as I felt my body tense at the attack of another contraction.

“Oh God…it hurts so much.” I said with my clenched teeth and taking quick breaths. He remained silent just looking at me, I guess he felt powerless and impotent to help me. That moment the doctor came to check on me one more time. I was almost 5 fingers dilated already, I knew right there that I wouldn’t be able to take the epidural. I felt my fear grow and I think I even panicked a bit. She just gave me a sympathetic smile as she was aware I knew what was going on.

“You’re doing good Steph. It will be quick, you’ll see.” She told me. My pain increased and increased. I wasn’t able to speak in the middle of the contractions anymore as they were too strong.

“Look at what you got me into.” I muttered to James when the doctor left us once again.

“I didn’t do this alone.” He told me but he was calm.

“But you convinced me into it. If you knew just how much it hurts. I don’t think I can take the pain.”

“Yes you can Steph. You are the bravest woman I’ve ever met. You’ll do good, you’ll see.” He supported me. I shook my head.

“I don’t feel good. I can’t do this.” I began to sweat a lot and I knew that wasn’t a normal symptom. James called the doctor as he saw my heart beat raising in the machine, the doctor watched for a bit and then as it calmed down she said everything was fine. I whimpered, I screamed, I’d do anything at that time. I never imagined having a baby would be that hard and would imply such pain. I mean I knew it involved pain but not so strong and unbearable. I felt my body weaken as the pain grew stronger, I didn’t feel good at all even though all the machines tied in me would say I was. I felt my body a bit numb. I felt dizzy and my vision was even a bit blurred.

“James, I am not feeling alright.” I told him again.

“But the doctor said everything was fine Steph.” He told me.

“Something is wrong. My body is weird, I don’t feel good.” I looked into his eyes pleading him to call the doctor again. James watched me for a few seconds with his blue gaze and then pressed the button above my head.

“She says she doesn’t feel good.” He told as the doctor came again. I was too busy with a strong contraction to say a thing. Dr. Shatan began to examine me again, I knew she was being careful. She asked me what I thought I had but I could not tell her, all I could tell her is that I felt my body weak in a very strange way. After extremely, careful examination she left us alone again resting us everything was fine.

James began, once again, to talk to me, to distract me a bit from the pain but at that point there was no distraction. Nothing could drive me away from the pain I was feeling. I was horrified at everything labor was doing to my body, plus I was extremely scared.

“Just calm yourself down a bit.” He told me pulling my hair back. At that point my hair was already soaked wet in sweat. It felt so good to have his fingers caressing me.

“I am proud of you.” I told him out of nothing grabbing his hand with mine.

“You are?” He asked me. Even though he was not smiling his face showed some smiling traces. His eyes glittered a bit. I just nodded as I was feeling another contraction coming. James felt my body tense up a little and held my hand stronger as he knew what was coming.

“ARRRRGGGGGGGGGG” I shouted loud holding onto his hand. “Oh GOOOD….” I said, still screaming when the contraction began to subside. I breathed in fast gasps as I knew as I supposed to do but I also find out that it doesn’t help much. “Make this pain stop, make it stop…I don‘t want to do this.” I pleaded to him.

“Steph…” He said desperate. I can say as desperate as I was and I was the one suffering. After a while and when the contractions began to be more regular James seemed to be having the pain as well. “Sweetie hang in there, ok? You can do this.” He supported me. I began to shake my head violently.

“No, No I can’t. I can’t do this.” I began to wriggle again as another contraction took care of me. I don’t remember ever in my life of screaming so loud.

“Sweetie…” He said. I don’t know what crossed his mind but he climbed on the bed with me. He sat and straddled his legs and I sat in the middle, my back against his chest. That was the best feeling ever. His legs became my support, I just remember all of a sudden holding onto to them and push hard.

“I want to push.” I said shouting loud and pushing my insides out. I just wanted the baby to come out. James pushed the button behind him. Once again the doctor came in.

“Are you comfortable that way?” She asked me. I nodded at her. I was feeling my arms and my legs getting numb. I was feeling my body weak again and I felt a bit dizzy. I just didn’t have time to tell them I was feeling bad as another contraction came and I obeyed the orders of my doctor as she asked me to push again.

“I can’t…” I said crying.

“You have to push!” The doctor told me again.

“Come on babe. You can do this.” James said in my ear.

“I can‘t. I can’t. Please make it stop.” I begged.

“Stephanie, you have to push, your baby is beginning to suffer.” The doctor said as she looked at the baby’s monitor heartbeat. I looked at it too. “Push!” She said. I strayed a bit from James and pushed as hard as I could.

“Good!” The doctor told. I threw myself back against James as I began to feel even worse.

“Are you alright? Steph?” James asked me but I couldn’t answer him as I wanted to push again. I did the same thing, my hands clutched onto his legs, I raised my head and I pushed shouting.

“I can’t push no more…” I said panting and leaning against James again.

“You have to, your baby has to be born.” The doctor said.

“Make them stop.” I talked to James.

“Baby, you have to.” James agreed with the doctor.

“I don’t feel good. James…I don‘t feel good” I told him feeling my body getting even weaker and closed my eyes.

“Steph?” James called me. I looked up at him. I raised my head again and I pushed but then I began to feel my heartbeat beating too fast, the machine beeped loud in a warn. I threw myself against James involuntary because I lost strength and my body jerked violently, all my members went weak and my whole body felt numb. “Steph?” James called me again but a blur passed through my eyes and it all went black. I guess I passed out but I was still listening.

“We need an OR right now. Bring the oxygen!” I heard Dr. Shatan scream for a code blue. Code blue was bad.

“Steph, wake up…” I heard James shouting at me. I wanted to talk to him but I couldn’t. He was crying. I didn’t know if I was still leaning against him or not. I could only hear. “Sweetie…no….” He shouted.

“She’s into cardiac arrest.” The doctor shouted. I could only hear the line of my heart going plain flat and that beep of none heartbeat.

“NOOOOOOO….no…no…no….no” James shouted. “Steph, don’t leave me. Baby...you can't go...no..."

“Take him out of here. Sir you need to leave.” The doctor said.

I guess they began to take James out of the room as I heard his voice far away, shouting and crying out my name and asking me to come back. Then I guess my life just abandoned my body completely as it all went dead silent. Hearing is the last thing to abandon a body.


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Voxx
Member Avatar
Some Kind Of Monster
[ * ]
Well.... if we hadn't already seen a glimpse into the future, this would be quite alarming. However, that being said, it's still quite sad. I hope there are no lasting problems to the baby as a result. Poor Steph :(
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
cmania
Member Avatar
Frantic
[ * ]
:biggrin maybe it´s the only way to kep their marriage
Poor stephi :(
:rolleyes: well well i wan´t more miss ^^
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Anselmo's Girl
Member Avatar
Phil crazy!
[ * ]
Oh no! :o this ain't good I hope Stephanie is ok as well as Andrea
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Scorpion Flower
Member Avatar
Outlaw Torn
[ * ]
I stopped listening, and all of a sudden I was at a very calm and silent place. I think I was still conscious of where I was and what I was doing, but I can’t tell for sure. I found myself a bit confused looking around me and there was nothing but a strong and amazing light that begged me to walk towards it. I did it, I began to walk to that light amazed at how beautiful it was, then I saw a shadow, a silhouette coming out of that light. I stopped walking focusing on the shadow coming towards me. After a few seconds I began to realize it was a person so I gave a step ahead and then the silhouette became very familiar. Belly bottoms jeans. There was only one person in the world that I met wearing that.

Cliff smiled at me with a cigarette on the corner of his lips. I could not believe I was seeing my dearest Cliff again. He kept walking towards me and I was amazed looking at him. I waved franticly as he approached me and he did the same.

“You came to pick me up?” I asked him.

“What the fuck are you doing here Steph?” Cliff asked me.

“I guess I died.” I told him. My voice came out sad.

“I didn’t came here to pick you up little one, I came here to kick your ass out of here.” Little one, how I missed him calling me that. In fact I was missing him too much.

“I can’t stay with you?” I asked him shocked, if I was dead, at least, I wanted to stay with someone I loved and that I knew. Cliff shook his head at me.

“No, you can’t stay with me. What the hell do you think you’re doing? He needs you with him, your baby girl needs you, you can’t stay here. Like I said, my mission here is to kick your ass back to them.”

“I would love to meet my daughter Cliff. I would like to see her grow.” I said.

“You’re going to see her grow. She’s beautiful Steph, I don’t know what you’re doing here with me. You daughter looks like him, be prepare for that…” He laughed. I realized again how I missed his laughter. “He needs you Steph, he loves you, he’s an idiot sometimes but he loves you. You’ll be fine, you two will be fine.” He said.

“We have a baby girl, I wish you were here with us to see her grow.” I told him.

“I will be, in another way but I will be.” He said. I walked up to him and gave him a tight hug. “Your family needs you Steph. You can’t leave the big guy alone with a baby girl.” I laughed. Cliff pulled me away so I could look in his eyes. “Now seriously, you have to be strong but in the end you two will win. Now go back.” He told me. I felt tears in my eyes as I would say goodbye to Cliff for the second time in my life. I waved before I walked in some strange and weird place, all of a sudden the light and Cliff disappeared. I was hearing a beep, it was a machine with my heartbeat on it. I began to hear James’s voice talking to me.

“Hey babe. Here I am again Steph. I wish you could hear me…” I could hear him indeed and I wanted to answer him but I couldn’t move or open my eyes or do anything. I hated that place I was. “Our daughter gave me one hell of a night today, like every other night. She’s terrible at sleeping, you better be prepared for that. She likes me when I sing to her, you know?. She calms down a bit. She loves when I lean her on my shoulder, oh and when I talk to her too. She hates the bath…“ He chuckled a bit there. “She cries a lot when we have to bathe her. She also likes when I take her to the garden and stay there talking to her, she looks at me with her tiny blue eyes wide open. I wish you could see her, I bet she misses her mommy. I do my best but I guess it’s not the same thing. You have to come back Steph, please come back, for her. She’s so beautiful….she’s the most amazing thing I have ever seen. She’s amazing…our daughter is gorgeous sweetie and she‘s so perfect. We did a wonderful job. Come back to me. I need you. I love you so much babe. I have been holding on because I have Andrea and I can’t fail on her but I just want to go to wherever you are. I just want to be with you. None of this makes sense if you’re not here to share it with me.” I felt tears in his voice. I just wanted to be able to grab his hand and say I was fine. But was I fine? I didn’t have a clue.

“You parents are in my house with me….” He continued. “Your mother has been very helpful with Andrea. You know I never had a baby before so she helps me, but I do most of the stuff. I have been taking care of her really well and I love it They also miss you . Do you know that Andrea smiled today? Your mother says she was dreaming, ‘cause she’s just 2 weeks old but I swear that she did that when she heard my voice talking to her. Usually she calms down when I talk to her, she stops crying when she hears me. She’s so amazing. You have to come back for us, our life is not complete if you’re not here.”

I was there but at the same time I wasn’t there. Deep inside my mind I was struggling to understand what was happening only I couldn’t. Suddenly I heard my mother’s voice.

“James, how’s she?” My mother asked.

“The same…” He said sobbing a bit. I just felt like screaming but that was only inside my mind. “She doesn’t move, she doesn’t open her eyes, she doesn’t even hold my hand when I hold hers.” Suddenly I heard a baby crying. My daughter…my daughter was there and I was somewhere away from them.

“Come here princess…” I heard James saying and then the crying stopped. “This is your mommy Andrea. She‘s beautiful like you are.” He said. I guess he put her right next to me because I felt a tiny thing leaning against my chest. My daughter was there and I couldn’t hold her or see her. I began to be desperate. I felt a hand tapping my hair I could feel his smell, it was James caressing my hair.

“James…” I heard my mother saying his name. “You have to rest. Go home, I’ll stay with her.”

“No, I want to be here when she opens her eyes.” I heard him saying.

“The doctor says he doesn’t know when that will be.”

“I don’t care. I want to be with her.” He was crying again.

“At least go and have something to eat.” He must have agreed with that because his hand disappeared from my hair and I heard footsteps coming out of the room.

“Oh Sweetheart.” My mother was talking to me. “We all miss you. You have to come back to us. James has been so sad Steph. He breaks my heart. He spends as much time as he can here. It seems like he doesn’t even have a life but he’s been a great father Steph. He’s been changing her diapers, he feeds her and he spends some time talking to her and singing to her at night when she gives us all hell because she doesn’t sleep. You have to meet Andrea. She looks like James, she has blue eyes like both of you but her lips, her nose it’s James’s and her blond hair too. She’s beautiful. Your daughter is beautiful. You can’t hear me, can you?”

“Yes, Yes I can.” I wanted to say, but I was unable to do it. I became nervous, I heard my heartbeat increase on the machine.

“What’s happening?” I heard James asking out loud.

“You better call the doctor.” My mother told him a bit stressed. I heard James running out of the room again. I calmed down, when the doctor came back I was back to normal again but I began to wander at that strange and sweet place again.

“What the fuck are you doing here again?” I heard Cliff’s voice on my back. He looked serious.

“What happened to me? If I am not dead why can’t I be with anyone? Where am I?” I asked nervous and confused.

“You’re in coma Steph. You’ve been in coma since your daughter’s been born. It’s been two weeks. You have to go back to them. You have to wake up!” Cliff was almost shouting.

“I don’t know what to do. I can hear them talking to me but I can’t move. I can hear them. James was crying, I don’t want him to cry. I want to see my daughter.” I still shouted, inside my head that is.

“You need to fucking open you eyes. Open your fucking eyes.” Cliff ordered. He disappeared again, I began to hear James again. It was so peaceful to listen to his voice.

“I want to stay a bit longer.” He was saying.

“She can’t even hear you Mr. Hetfield.” A strange voice was talking to him.

“Yes I can hear him!” I spoke in my mind. “Stay with me Jamie.” I pleaded all alone.

“I am quite sure she listens to me and even if she doesn’t, I like to be here with her. I want to be here when she opens her eyes.” James said.

“We don’t even know…” The strange voice began.

“I know what you’re gonna say. I am quite sure Steph is gonna come back to us. She’s brave and she’s strong. She’ll come back to me and her daughter.

“As you wish sir.” The man said.

It all went quiet. I didn’t hear James leaving and I felt his presence but everything was quiet. I didn’t know what was happening but I couldn’t hear a thing. I tried to rest my mind as well. I felt tired but my mind didn’t leave me alone. It worked all the time and was working more than ever, my senses were awake. Suddenly Cliff came back.

“OPEN YOUR EYES STEPH! COME BACK TO THEM!” I heard him screaming at me.

“Stop screaming at me.” I begged.

“Open your eyes Steph. It’s time.” He said.

“I can’t.” I whimpered.

“Yes you can. Since when you began to say you can’t do something. Don’t you want to meet your daughter? Don’t you want to see James again?”

“But I can’t. I tried and I can’t. Maybe I am really dead.”

“You say that again and I will kick you for sure.” He menaced me. “Open your eyes Steph. You can do it!”

I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden I opened my eyes wide. I was a bit scared, everything was a bit dark but then I began to focus, just the ceiling of what I recognized to be a room in a hospital. James wasn’t there and I still couldn’t move to look around for him. When I felt the urge to breathe and I couldn’t do it. I was choking on the tube I had stuck in my throat, I began to fight with it and wiggling my body on the bed as I couldn’t breathe. Suddenly I felt a hand in my hand.

“Steph?” He called me. I couldn’t look at him as I was suffocating. The nurse appeared from somewhere and ripped the tube quite fast off my throat. I took several deep breaths, it was weird to breathe by myself again. “Steph?” He called me again as I calmed down. We stared a bit at each other, I couldn’t talk, words didn’t came out. I just felt tears rolling down my face. James was crying too and he smiled. I guess I smiled back. “Don’t talk if you can’t ok’” He said running his hand through my face.

James looked so pale and thin. He looked tired as well. I wanted to caress him as well, but my hands were tied up and there were too much tubes stuck in me.

“Hi my love.” He said still caressing my face. “I love you and I missed you so much.” He told sobbing and his voice choking.

I tried to open my mouth, I guess I did it because I felt fresh air coming in. I wanted to say something but talking seemed like such a hard task, finally I could whisper something.

“Hi.” I told him. James giggled a bit between sobs and tears and kissed my forehead, his tears landing on it too.

“Hi.” He said too. “Welcome back sweetie.” He said smiling.


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Voxx
Member Avatar
Some Kind Of Monster
[ * ]
Wow, so I really loved this scene! :heart:

The way you brought Cliff into it, encouraging her to not give up and open her eyes was just amazing. Great writing! Loved it so much! It's definitely an interesting way to bring Cliff back into the story and let Steph say goodbye to him, almost properly.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Anselmo's Girl
Member Avatar
Phil crazy!
[ * ]
Voxx
February 12, 2012, 5:29 pm
Wow, so I really loved this scene! :heart:

The way you brought Cliff into it, encouraging her to not give up and open her eyes was just amazing. Great writing! Loved it so much! It's definitely an interesting way to bring Cliff back into the story and let Steph say goodbye to him, almost properly.
I agree 100% :tu:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
HannahBanana
Member Avatar
Poor Twisted Me
[ * ]
Awww! I'm happy that she was able to wake up, thanks to Cliff :lol:

I'ts so adorable to think about James with a baby :heart: :D
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Scorpion Flower
Member Avatar
Outlaw Torn
[ * ]
He rested his nose on my cheek. His tears falling on my wet face. My face wet from my own tears.

“I saw Cliff. It was Cliff…” I told him. I was still too overwhelmed from seeing Cliff again in my life. I didn’t understand where I had been or if I was just dreaming but I remembered him so well, his laughter, the tone of his voice.

“What do you mean?” James asked me straying his face so I could look in his eyes. My voice began to come out normally but I felt a bit tired.

“I don’t know where I was but I saw Cliff and he talked to me. I thought I was dead but he told me I wasn’t. He asked me to open my eyes…” James grabbed my hand and entwined his fingers with mine.

“You were in coma Steph. Maybe you were just dreaming, your brain was functioning or so the doctors told me.” James told me.

“What happened? I don’t remember it quite well.” I said.

“We should have listened to you when you said you were not feeling alright. I felt like killing the doctor, she made a mistake. You were delivering to our girl and you were pushing and all of a sudden I felt you losing strength, you fell like dead against me and then you closed your eyes. I tried to talk to you but you didn’t answer me and then your heart stopped…” His voice failed and he took his hand to his eyes.

“It’s ok, I am here.” I said trying to rest him.

“I thought I was going to lose you. I can’t lose you Steph. I love you too much. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where you didn’t exist.”

“You had our daughter. You had to be here for her.”

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispered with a tender smile appearing on his lips. I saw his eyes shinning. “She’s so perfect.”

“Tell me about her.” I asked. He opened a huge smile, pulled a chair near me and sat.

“Oh Steph. I’d bring her here if it wasn’t so late, we’ll have to wait until tomorrow. She’s so perfect. Well, she doesn’t let me sleep at night or great part of it but she likes it when I sing for her, she calms down. She likes when I hold her against my shoulder, she likes to sleep like that. She’s so tiny but amazingly beautiful. People say she looks like me, I think she looks like you because she’s beautiful and you’re beautiful. You two are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I just can’t describe what I feel for that tiny creature.” I smiled hearing him talk with such love and devotion for our child.

“Is my mother with her?” I asked.

“How do you know your mother is here?” He asked me surprised. That gesture of raising his eyebrow showing.

“I heard her in here today. I don’t know how, but I know she was here and I heard your voice too.” I explained.

“Your mother is here indeed. She’s been here for two weeks now, you’ve been in coma for two weeks. We alternate, some nights she’d stay here others are my turn.” He said. “You heard me?” I nodded my head gently. “Did you hear what I said?”

“I don’t remember.” I told him. “I just know that I heard your voice.”

“I talked to you every day Steph. About Andrea, about me. I was so afraid of losing you. I love you.” His meetings at the AA came up to my memory.

“Have you been drinking?” James looked down. His gaze went straight to his feet. Some things never change I knew what that gesture of his meant. “Oh James…” I said. He looked back at my eyes with his eyes watered again.

“I was weak. I got drunk the night you went on coma and then the night after. I couldn’t cope with the pain all by myself, I know this doesn’t explain anything but when I drink I wash away stuff from my mind.” I looked at him as if I didn’t understand what he was telling me. “It’s ok, I was weak, but then I had to take Andrea home and I had to be sober to take care of her. I am still going to therapy Steph. I might have slipped but I intend to keep my word.” I nodded at him with my eyes closed. I was beginning to feel too exhausted.

“You’re tired?” He asked.

“I am.”

“You have to wait until the doctor comes here.” He said running a hand through my hair.

“I am already here.” The doctor announced coming inside the room. “You can’t talk too much, you’re still fragile.” James winked at me and I smiled at him. The doctor examined me for at least half an hour, then he freed me from some tubes that weren’t needed anymore and ordered me to rest.

“You better get some sleep now.” James told me adjusting the pillow under my head.

“If I ask you something will you do it?” I asked him. James nodded. “Go home. I want you to go home and sleep properly in your bed. You look so pale and tired.”

“I don’t want to go. What if I come back tomorrow and you’re back to that place?”

“I’m gonna be here. I don’t want to go back there. I want to stay, I won’t come back. I promise you. Go home, let my mother take care of Andrea tonight and sleep.”

“Ok.” He ended up agreeing.

“But when you come back tomorrow, please bring her with you. I want to see our baby.” I said.

“Of course I will.” James kissed the top of my head and mumbled a “I love you” again. I felt the urge to tell him the same. I had to tell him. I grabbed his hand and called his name. James span around to look at me.

“I love you.” I said. He showed me that amazing grin of his, the one that makes my heart beat faster and that is ok when you don’t have a machine measuring it and beeping as your heart beats. My heart beat racing showed up on the screen and the beeps became faster. I looked up at the machine helpless and then I looked back at James who was smiling like a fool at the screen and giggling.

“I love you too.” He finally told me. “That…” He said pointing at the screen.”…was amazing.” He closed the door behind him losing the second part of my heart racing again. I wished I wouldn’t stay tied to that machine for long. I closed my eyes as I felt my exhaustion forcing me to rest, I prayed I would be able to open them again next morning normally. Deep inside I was afraid of getting lost in the coma again.

I woke up again next morning around 10.30 am. I have to admit I felt much better than the night I awoke. I felt stronger and rested. I could see the sun was shinning outside behind the white curtains of my bedroom and I took a deep breath as I realized James was not there. It would feel good if I opened my eyes and he was there already and I was a bit anxious to see my baby girl for the first time. After giving me breakfast, my first solid meal since I sank in a coma and checking me out again, the doctor freed me of some more tubes still leaving the heart beat machine counting. That was essential and I knew about it. It took over an hour, and strict orders that I could not leave my bed until my parents walked inside the room. My day brightened right there.

“Hi mom!” I said as I felt my mother’s arms around me. The three of us crying like fools. I felt how much I had missed them and grateful I was because I managed to return back to life. I knew right there that I didn’t want to lose any of these persons, especially now that I was a mother. I was never a religious person and I found myself thanking God that morning a million times. Everything was much prettier and life was more wonderful than ever. It was good to be back.

My father sat on the couch where James was sleeping the previous night visibly relived that I was back and doing good. I swear his face changed from pale to a normal flesh and blood one. His eyes were shinning and there was a soft smile on his lips showing all the time. My mother sat on the edge of the bed holding my hand between hers.

“Where’s Jamie?” I asked her as I knew they were staying with him. My mother smiled knowingly.

“He’ll be here soon. He stayed home feeding Andrea and then he said he’d come here.” She said.

“How’s he doing?” I asked. My father rubbed his face and I looked straight at my mother waiting to know.

“He was a wreck Steph. He drank the first two days and barely looked at Andrea. He just said he wanted you back, that’s all he could think of. He stayed here with you as long as he could. I felt so helpless to help him. I didn’t know what to tell him plus we were also suffering, you know…” She explained taking a hand to her eyes to prevent the tears from falling. “…but after those two days, he tried to put his life back in order, he returned to his meetings and he became a wonderful father. He does everything to her, he feeds her, he puts her to sleep, he talks a lot to her, he bathes her, dresses her, he’s just wonderful with Andrea. He likes to be with her a lot, sometimes he feels tired and asks me to take care of her or when he wanted to be here with you. He loves you so much. He’s proven that one more time.” I smiled at my mother, it sure felt good for me to hear her say that. It was a relief he was still going on with his meetings, he was keeping his word and even better when she was telling me how such a great father he had become. My daughter had been in great hands while I couldn’t take care of her.

“He promised he’d changed. I believe in him.” I said. My mother nodded in agreement.

“He loves you Steph. He loves you in such a scary way. I was scared sometimes when he’d came back home desperate. I was afraid of what he could do. He kept saying he wanted to go to wherever you were. The night you were giving birth, when I got here he was crying so much. He kept calling for you. They brought Andrea to him and he didn’t even looked at her, he just wanted you, the doctors had to calm him down and then when we all came back home, thinking we were going to lose you I found him passed out on his living room with a bottle of whisky by his side. I felt so sorry for him because he was suffering deeply.”

“I am here now.” I said. As I said these words I felt the door of the bedroom opening and James got in pushing a stroller. My daughter was in there but I smiled happily at him before I looked down at the stroller and see a tiny little baby in a pink dress sleeping peacefully. Tears appeared in my eyes from joy. James stopped next to my bed and even though she was sleeping he took her off the stroller and put her in my arms. I held my baby tight. She frowned a bit from having her sleep disturbed but then she rested again and continued sleeping as if nothing happened.

“She’s so beautiful.” I whispered at him. He sat on the bed right next to me so he could see her as well. His smile looking at our daughter showed how much he loved her, all his love was mirrored in his eyes as they shone looking at her.

“I told you.” He told me.

“She does look like you.” I said observing her attentively. She had the same lips and the same button nose. Her hair was light blond, nothing compared to my black one. I saw my father signaling my mother to leave us alone in the room and they left, leaving the three of us enjoying our first moment together.

“Everybody say she looks like me.” He said with a grin showing vanity.

“She’s so perfect.” I said, I couldn’t take my eyes off my daughter. I lifted her a bit and kissed her forehead, Andrea opened her tiny little blue eyes, light blue eyes just like her papa.

“Hey, meet your mommy little princess.” James baby talked. Andrea fixed her eyes on me. I knew she couldn’t see me, she was too little, babies don’t see quite well during the first month and she was just two weeks old, I guess she stayed quiet because she was hearing to her father’s voice. With time she would recognize mine as well but she didn’t complain, she stayed quiet the same way. I smiled at her. I was marveled, enchanted. “How are you feeling?” James talked to me. I turned my head to look at him and answer but his face was too close and I got hypnotized by his gaze, again my heart beat raised and I was betrayed by the machine again. James giggled and my heart raced even more from having his smile so close to me. “This is funny.” He teased. I looked away.

“I am feeling fine, better than yesterday night.” I said ignoring the fact that my heart was still racing and he could see it. He took a hand to my hair and kissed my cheek holding me close against his chest. The best feeling ever, my daughter in my arms and the man I loved with his arms around me.

“Is it ok if I stay like this?” He asked me.

“Yes.” I said. James kissed my forehead.

“It’s so good to have you here.” He whispered. I could read the honesty of his words on his voice and his relief at the same time.

“It’s good to be back. Jamie…” I called him. He strayed and looked at me. “Thanks for everything you’ve done.” I told him. “I remember you climbed on the bed with me to help me push, it was the best feeling ever, I felt protected.”

“I don’t want to talk about that Steph. I almost lost you there.”

“But you didn’t, I am here.” I said. I think we were going to kiss but the doctor came in and interrupted the moment.

“Stephanie..” The doctor said. “I have great news. You are fine, you heart is fine and all the exams were alright. You can leave the hospital in a couple of days, we still want you to maintain here for a couple of days under observation just as precaution but when you go back home you need to rest. You can’t work until we say you can. Do you have someone to help you at home?” He asked me. James spoke right away.

“She’s going to my house. She’ll have me and her parents are there as well.” He said. I looked at him wordless. “It’s time to pay back what you did for me when I burned my arm.” He said.

“If my parents are here they can go back home with me.” I said. James looked serious.

“Let me take care of you Steph like you took care of me. Don’t take Andrea away from me right away. Let me stay with her a little longer.” I couldn’t deny him that.

“Ok, I’ll go to your house.” I said. James smiled and mouthed a “Thank you”
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Anselmo's Girl
Member Avatar
Phil crazy!
[ * ]
Aw Andrea is so cute! ^_^ and that was funny with the heartbeat moniter :lol:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Lilith
Member Avatar
Jaimelicious

OMG! I can't believe I missed all this. I wasn't expecting Steph to get into a coma, but it was lovely Cliff sent her back to her man. James was being the sweetest of man. I bet this experience helped him to change for good, and brought them finally together. :3 Just the idea of imagining him alone taking care of the baby... añdlajdsfasdf :heart:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Voxx
Member Avatar
Some Kind Of Monster
[ * ]
This was a great chapter and shows just how much James truly cares for Steph! I agree with Lifer, the heart monitor scene was adorable! And funny because that actually happened to my sister while she was in the hospital! So cute!! I think its really great that Steph's parents have told her that they think James is doing a good job and she he loves her. No matter how old we get, we still value what our parents say (for teh most part anyways! :P ). So I'm glad they told her that. I hope it helps to heal their relationship!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Scorpion Flower
Member Avatar
Outlaw Torn
[ * ]
Four days later I left the hospital under strict rules. I could not do any type of efforts and I should rest properly. I knew very well my condition was fragile but I also I knew I felt fine. I ventured a few things but James was like a dog after me and cutting my ventures off. My parents stayed with us, still.

“The doctor said you should rest Steph.” James forced me on the bed again as I tried to get up. I protested.

“I can walk, I don’t have to be in bed all day.” I said a bit mad. He was treating me too good, to the point of making me feel guilty.

“I know you can but you spent all night up with Andrea, you need to rest now. Have a nap, I’ll look after her while you sleep.” James sat on the bed next to me, I gave in and rested my head on the pillow. I was feeling tired indeed.

“Why are you treating me like this?” I asked him.

“Like what?” He pretended he didn’t know what I meant.

“You do everything. You don’t let me do anything Jamie, you bring me breakfast in bed, you bring me flowers when you go out, you serve me dinner and lunch, you tuck me into bed and I could go on.” I told him resting my hands behind my head making myself more comfortable. James ran a hand through my hair.

“Isn’t that clear?” He asked me. I paused before I say anything. If I searched deep inside myself I knew what that was all about but I wanted to hear him saying it, so I shook my head as if I didn’t know. “Because I love you Steph. I love you and I don’t want to lose you and I almost did. It was the most scariest moment of my life.”

“How are the meetings going?” I asked him changing the subject. With so many people around the house we hadn’t had much time to talk just the two of us.

“We’ll talk about that later after you sleep a bit.” He said getting up but I grabbed his hand.

“I don’t want to sleep, I want to talk to you. Stay here with me.” I asked him. I missed talking to him properly, with time to discuss things properly. Reluctantly he sat back on the bed.

“You want me to stay?” He asked with a soft smile, I just nodded. He entwined his fingers in mine and kissed it. “The meetings are going alright. It’s not so hard to talk with him anymore, I guess I am more confident. I was honest with him and told him I had drunk that times and he said it was normal, that’s what we, people with my problem, tend to do that when we’re faced with big problems. I guess I am doing fine, I like to go there. I feel stronger and I am confident.” He spoke calm.

“That’s so good.” I said.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked me looking a bit sad.

“What is it?” I asked lifting my head a bit and pulling his chin to me.

“I heard you talking with your mother yesterday when I arrived in the kitchen…” I leaned back against my pillow hearing him. I knew what that was about. “She asked you to go back with her to LA, at least for a while, are you thinking about going?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well you told her you were going to think about it…” He said.

“It might be a good idea.” I said. James began to shake his head in denial.

“You can stay here.” He begged.

“Don’t you have stuff to do with the band?” I asked him.

“No.” He said promptly. “My activities with the band are stopped now. I have my meetings, Andrea and you to take care of. Priorities have changed Steph.”

“I don’t want you to stop your life for me.” I said.

“I want to stop my life for you, can’t you see that?” His words warmed up my heart. “Don’t go to LA. I can take care of you and of our girl. Didn’t I do a good job with her? I am doing a good job with you, at least, I am trying.”

“I didn’t say I was going Jamie…”

“I know but I am asking you not to go. I am asking you to stay here with me.” I didn’t know what to tell him and Andrea began to cry to save me from that moment. I was getting up to go to her but he stopped me. “Stay still. Try to get some sleep. I’ll take care of her.” He said getting up and kissing my forehead. James closed the door gently leaving me alone with my thoughts. I was a bit confused of what to do. Andrea calmed down as soon as her father reached for her. They had a great connection and that made me even more confused. I didn’t think I had the right to take her away for some time to LA and separated them. James didn’t deserve that but at the same time it seemed like the best thing to do, at least for a while. I closed my eyes as my fatigue imposed its weight over my eyes.

I slept through great part of the day. James must have came back to the room because the curtains were pulled down and I had a cover over me. I was feeling warm and I didn’t feel like moving. I was lazy and it felt good to have the right to be that way. The door of my room opened gently and I looked at it as I found my mother coming in tiptoeing.

“I’m not sleeping mom.” I told her.

“Lars is here to visit you, can I let him come up?” She asked me. I nodded at my mother. While I waited for a great friend of mine to come up I took a quick glance at the mirror to see how I looked, I opened the curtains and saw James in the garden with Andrea leaning on his knees and he was talking to her. I stood quiet at the window looking at the two of them. I wished for a moment I could hear what he was telling her because she was so quiet and he was smiling at her so tenderly. His love and devotion for our girl was undeniable. James looked like a different person with her. Definitely parenthood made him even more special. I was looking out of the window when Lars came in.

“What are you doing there?” He asked walking up to me. I waved at him and he joined me. “He’s delighted. I don‘t even recognize him now, in a good way.” He said watching James as I was.

“He’s so great with her.” I said smiling. “Makes me love him even more…”

“In the last year he’s changed a lot Steph. For her but also for you.” Lars told me. “I don’t understand why you guys are not together when it’s clear you two are still in love.” I looked at him and then sat back on my bed.

“It’s more complicated than that.” I said.

“Is it? I don’t think it is, I mean, you two had a baby when you were planning to divorce, isn’t that weird? Wasn’t it a wake up call for you two? Since when a couple divorcing make a baby unless they are still in love?”

“It was an accident.” I said.

“Oh Steph…an accident? I don’t believe you believe in that. You guys postponed the divorce, you kept going out, you helped him with his meetings. He’s doing that to have you back, I hope you realize that and you’re dying to go back to him. It’s written in your eyes. You have a baby with him, you are still married after a year of being separated.”

“Well, we lost the papers of the divorce, I guess that helped.” I said sighing.

“These ones?” He said shaking an envelope right in front of my eyes. I ripped the papers off his hand fast and opened it. The papers of my divorce signed by both of us.

“I can’t believe you.” I retorted.

“I’ve hidden it all this time so you would reconsider. I knew you would step back, then James was burned and you were taking care of him I thought it was best if I stayed with these. I am giving it to you now because deep inside I know you’re not leaving this house anymore, he’s doing everything to keep you here and you want to stay. You love him and don’t even try to tell me you don’t.”

“He hasn’t tried anything.” I said a bit sad. “He hasn’t tried not even to kiss me. There’s tenderness and cuddles but not that type of cuddles.”

“Because he doesn’t know quite well what to do. He wants you to stay but he doesn’t know how to ask you that and after such a long time I bet he’s afraid of trying it and you pull him away. You know, he’s afraid of rejection.”

I talked to Lars for quite some time, at least for two hours that flew quite fast. Most of the time we talked about what happened a year ago and what was happening now. I could not deny everything James was doing, I knew the meetings were for me, he’s even said so. When Lars left I remained in my room for a little longer thinking about it, the divorce papers in my hand once again were making me dizzy. That was a fact the year before, now it made things crazy. I put the papers on my bed and went for a relaxing shower and then I joined everyone downstairs, or I thought everyone was there but there was only James watching a football game and Andrea sleeping on the stroller.

“Where are my parents?” I asked him as I entered the living room. James tapped on the couch to sit by his side.

“They went out for dinner. I think they want some time for themselves as well.” He said. “Are you feeling fine?” I nodded at him. I took a glance at my daughter sleeping peacefully.

“I guess I am going to make us some dinner then.” I told him. I needed to do something to feel useful. He was the one doing everything around the house.

“I ordered those stakes you love.” He said.

“You really don’t let me do anything right?” He shook his head and got up.

“No. I am going for a shower.” He informed. I changed the channel as he left, The Raiders were losing again and I guess that’s why he left as well. James had a terrible problem dealing with his team losses and that happened quite often. After 20 minutes the door bell rang, our dinner arrived. I paid for it and put everything on the table. I went upstairs to call James. It was the perfect time to have dinner as Andrea was still sleeping. She ruled our schedules, she was in charge of our lives.

“Jamie…” I called from the hallway but I didn’t have an answer. I peeked at his room and he wasn’t there, then I saw a light coming out of my room. I opened the door to find him with the envelope in his hands. James looked at me serious without saying a word.

“Dinner’s on the table.” I said.

“When did you find it?” He asked me ignoring my announcement.

“Lars brought me those when he visited me this afternoon. He kept it all this time.” I explained.

“Why did you keep it Steph?”

“I didn’t keep it, he gave it to me and I left it there.”

“I don’t know what to think, first you consider going with your mother and take Andrea away, then you keep the papers of the divorce we had agreed to leave behind. I am doing such an effort to change. I feel like I was stabbed on the back.”

“James, no…I just left it there. I am not considering it, I swear!”

“Can I rip it apart then?”

“Look, if I intended to do it I would have done it back in time. I just had to go to the lawyer and ask for new ones. We agreed of taking things slowly, postpone it and see how things would go. I got pregnant much to our surprise, you went to therapy and I know it’s been a long time but you were away most of the time.” I told him trying to rest him. Last thing I wanted was to cause a mess in his head, that would be fatal to his treatment. James looked at me still confused and I used my last resource. I took a step towards him and clutched my arms around his neck and hugged him close to me. I pressed my whole body against him and slowly I felt his arms pulling me to him. “You can rip the papers if you want, I don’t care. I am staying here, I am not going with my mother to LA. You can take care of me if that’s what you want and I would never take Andrea away from you. You’re her father I would never do that.”

“You’re staying?” He asked. His voice a bit weak.

“Yes.” I said. My heart began to race from having him so close I began to feel his lips against my ear, I even think I felt him brush his lips against my ear. That was the first attempt of him I remember since I left the hospital but all of a sudden my mother knocked on the door and entered the room abruptly.

“What are you two doing? Andrea was crying a lot alone in the living room. Can’t you take care of your own daughter?” My mother looked really pissed at us. I took Andrea off her arms.

“She was not dying mom. We just didn’t hear her cry.”

“But you have to be aware, none of you were there. You didn’t even heard us arriving.”

“We were talking ok?” My mother was beginning to piss me off as well.

“She just needs to be changed.” James said beginning to change her diaper. Amazingly he was calm. I guess I was even more furious because my mother interrupted our moment. My mother left the room without saying a thing. I don’t remember of seeing her mother so pissed off. I looked back at James who was smiling like a fool to Andrea and making her funny faces while he changed her. I smiled watching him.

“We need to be left alone.” I said. “We need to be just the three of us.”

“She was stressed!” He exclaimed making a funny face at the baby. I saw Andrea smiling. “Look Steph, she smiled!” He said.

“It’s involuntary, she’s too little.” I said.

“It doesn’t matter, she smiled the same way.”

“Our dinner is still waiting for us.” I said. James held Andrea back in his arms and smiled at me.

“She could let us have a quiet and warm dinner couldn’t she?” I laughed and opened the door so he could pass through it.

“I was fine if she could let us sleep through the night.” I said as we walked down the stairs.

“She’ll be a good girl and will not scream and shout right?” He said looking at her. Andrea frowned a bit, James looked at me. “I don’t think she liked the idea. She’d rather kick our asses. It’s ok if she’s happy with it.” I laughed at his comment.

“Good you still have a sense of humor.”

“It’s ok, I’ll have my revenge. When she’s 17 and she’ll come late at night after going to the disco I’ll put some headphones with her crying on her ears so she can’t sleep. She has to taste a bit of the hell she gave us.” I laughed loud again, loud like I haven’t laughed in quite some time. I felt happy by his side.

“Oh, you’re letting go her out to discos when she’s 17?” I teased him. “It’s where girls meet boys…”

James looked down at Andrea. “Right…” All of a sudden he was faced with something he still hadn’t thought about.

“Do you remember what we used to do when I was 17? The things you did with me?” I still teased him with a smirk on my lips. Making him remember made him smile at me.

“I’m gonna lock her up.” He said then, we both laughed loud.

“I’ll pay to see you do that.” I told him.

“Steph…we used to….you know…we had sex…!”

“And one day she’s going to do that too.” I said.

“NO!” He exclaimed rather loud.

“It’s ok…she’s just 4 weeks old now. Let’s not worry about it. I was just teasing you.”
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Het / Gen · Next Topic »
Add Reply