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At Tragic Heights; NEW! James/OFC short story...sequel to Firewalking and HYBTB
Topic Started: March 8, 2012, 3:23 pm (8,486 Views)
Voxx
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Some Kind Of Monster
[ * ]
Man I really don't know what to say because I still at this point do not like Nadia. I find her incredibly selfish. I think someone needs to tell her to stop thinking so much about herself and focus on her baby! I mean statistically, children are healthier when they have two parents in their life. And having your father in your like, statistically, means you will be more rounded, less likely to have behavioural problems, less likely to commit crime and more likely to be successful in whatever you choose to do. How does she think Mara will feel if she grew up to learn that her father wanted to be in her life, but her mother wouldn't allow it? I mean James isn't a bad guy. He's not a criminal, he doesn't abuse substances anymore, he's already a father so he has experience, he has money so he can provide for the child. It could be a lot worse. It's time she actually put her daughter first instead of her own selfish feelings about being hurt by James. I understand that she had her pride, I mean hell we all have our pride, but a mother is supposed to put her child first. And I think, Mara would be best served by having her father in her life, even if her parents aren't together.

Okay, got that off my chest. :P

I hope she isn't losing the baby from the amount of stress that she has been feeling lately. I can't remember how far along she is, but maybe she is in premature labour?

Looking forward to finding out :)

Edit: God, sorry. I write way too much sometimes!
Edited by Voxx, April 4, 2012, 12:11 pm.
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cmania
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Frantic
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
April 4, 2012, 8:06 am
Just grab and kiss!
:heart:
Well the same !
Grab and kiss ! :D
:heart: :heart:
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Metallica 4 Life!
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Poor Twisted Me
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AHHH!!!! God this story is keeping at the edge of my seat!!

I tell ya one thing though, I bet every time he grabbed nadia he wanted to kiss her just as bad! :biggrin
All I gotta say is KISS HER ALREADY!!! XD :drool
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Shayniz21
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Poor Twisted Me
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I agree, I think if one of them would kiss the other everything would slowly start to work itself out. This was a good chapter but I think Frank was right when he said its about more than just the baby. Nadia needs a reality check.
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Lilith
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Jaimelicious

OMG! Poor James... well... she is a nut case, and he doesn't help going to a lawyer right now... These two... ;_; Poor girl, to what kind of situation is she going to come to this world? :(
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Scorpion Flower
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Outlaw Torn
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I obeyed and made all the way in silence. Not that I was afraid of him, I was not, but I was so tired of all the fighting, tired of all the accusations, of all the stress. I was simply tired of loving him, that was it.

Already at the hospital I made my registration, my doctor was at the ER so they sent me to her. James and I had to wait a bit until I was called and still we didn’t share a word. He bounced his leg up and down nervously and his breathing was heavy, His eyes were locked on the TV in front of us and not even once I saw him turning his head to look at me. He also didn’t want to talk to me, maybe tired as I was of all the yelling thing.

“Nadia Winston.” A nurse spoke at the door. I got up and James did too.

“It’s me.” I said.

“You can come in.” She said. I began to walk after the nurse and James followed me.

“You don’t have to come in.” I said.

“Shut the fuck up.” He muttered low so the nurse wouldn’t hear us. I turned my head and open my mouth to speak and tell him that he couldn’t talk to me like that, but at the same time he turned his head too and his eyes met mine. “Not even a fucking word.” He grunted.

“Asshole.” I mumbled. I know James heard me as his teeth grated but he didn’t say a thing. Next thing we were walking inside the doctor’s office.

“What’s the matter Nadia?” She asked.

“I felt cramps today. Terrible pain, I could yell in pain, then it subsided but I thought it was better to check it out.” I explained.

“Any blood?” She asked. “Amniotic liquid?”

“No…I don’t think so.”

“Let me check you and the baby too.” She said. As she got up, she motioned me her hand to follow her and I did so. Doctor Stevenson examined me very carefully and Mara too. Mara was also followed by James while she scanned my belly again and heard her heartbeat, there James moved uncomfortably in his chair and several times he run his hand through his hair. He couldn’t focus on her, even if he wanted, it was stronger than him. Guess he felt it shoved in his face every time he had to see the little girl on the screen that he was going to have the baby he didn’t want. Part of me understood him, honestly, but my other half, and the stronger one was hating him that moment.

“Everything is fine but you need to rest this week. At least this week make the little effort possible and don’t be too stressed.” The doctor advised me. “Did something triggered this almost labor?”

Both James and I looked down at our feet. “Did something triggered this out?” She repeated the question. We looked up at her at the same time.

“Yeah…I had a fight, I was extremely nervous and then I began to feel the pain.”

“You can’t Nadia.” She said firmly. “You daughter could have been born premature and we want her to stay in your belly until the end.”

“I know…sometimes things aren’t easy, that’s all.” I said. Dr. Stevenson eyed us both suspiciously. Bet she could tell the fight had been between us.

“No fights at all. No matter what!” She exclaimed. “All problems must be kept inside until she’s born, after that, take care of anything you want.” I nodded and James simply listened absently, or he wanted it to look like it, but I knew he was listening. “You can go home now, but please stay calm and rest a lot.”

James went with me until the apartment and got in. I didn’t invite me but sometimes he could be that arrogant. I thought he was testing my limits again so I just took a deep breath and didn’t say a word. I went straight to the kitchen, I was starving and as it was rather late I put a frozen pizza in the oven. He sat on a chair by the table watching me walking around the kitchen. To me he could leave but I was intrigued why he was still there. When I was done, I leaned against the counter and looked at him.

“You can go.” I said not friendly.

“You heard what the doctor said, you need to rest and no work for this week.” His tone was just like mine, cranky, grumpy.

“I heard what she said, I am not a child. I will do what she told me.”

“See what your visit to HQ brought you?”

I smiled pissed off. “It’s my fault. Yeah…as usual…”

“And who’s fault is it? You were the one going there as if the world was about to end and calling me names.” He said.

“Because of what you did!” I added. “Can’t you see? You cause us harm!”

“You could have just talked to the lawyer and that was it, you didn’t have to go there.”

“I had to go there!” I raised my tone again. “It’s impossible to take all that and shut my mouth. Stop acting like a jerk, that’s all I ask. Jesus…I don’t get you…I honestly don’t. I don’t wanna fight. I am tired of fighting but you make things so impossible.”

“I am tired of fighting too, don’t think I am not and I could say the exact same thing about you, you make things impossible. You’re stubborn. I just want to be around for the kid, that’s all and you have to let me do that, despite all that has been said and done. I can love her and you just have to believe me. Now, if you tell me to my face that you won’t let that happen then I have to make it happen and that’s what I tried to do.”

“Court? Know what that will do to us? To her? Once she is born if you go to court she’ll be exposed to the world, do you want that for your daughter?”

“If you don’t let me be in her life I have to do that. Understand that it is the only way to go.”

“We can’t fight anymore James. I talked to Frank and even he said it is better if we settle things amicably. I almost went in labor today because of all the stress. I can’t…”

“Then tell me I can be in her life.” He said throwing his hands in the air. “That is all it takes.”

“I let you be in her life but I don’t want you around me until she is born.” I said firmly. He looked at me in disbelief. “Don’t look at me that way…”

“And what way do you want me to look at you. If I can’t be around you I won’t be able to follow the rest of the pregnancy, that is a way of getting close to her.”

“Oh James…even a couple of hours ago you were in denial in front of the monitor where she was showing. That hurts me, that stresses the shit out of me, that’s why I can’t be around you because I feel like yelling at you right there.”

“I need time to get used to it, it’s not like everything comes that easily.”

“Is it that or just the fact that you resent me? Aren’t you letting side things affect the way you relate to Mara?” I asked. James looked at me as if I had dropped a bomb. He got up and began to walk in circles but didn’t answer. Instead he ran his hand through his hair.

“I can’t have you around me…I am sorry but it’s for my own sake.” I said again. James sat back on the chair.

“Why is it so hard? Jesus…I think we loved each other, or I want to believe that at some point you loved me, then why is it so hard now to have me around when I am the father of your daughter?”

“Because I love you!” I blurted. Our eyes locked as the words were pronounced and I regretted immediately that I had said that. “Forget it…” I said seeing James was just staring at me.

“You what?” He asked. I closed my eyes gaining strength to tell him what was really corroding me.

“I am still in love with you.” I affirmed. “And I thought I wanted you with me in there because of Mara, and that is true, it hurts me to know you don’t want her but in the end I also figured out that I wanted you to be there with me and you’re not and we’re not together and I love you and it all hurts too much. I cry most of the times and then everything hurts more…I don’t want you there because of that. I can’t be anymore honest than this.”

“You left me Nadia. I asked you to come with me, waited for you in the fucking airport and you didn’t show up. You chose not to believe in me…”

“I know what I did and I also know my motives. It doesn’t matter now…that’s not important. I just love you and I need to let go. I need to forget you and I can’t do that if you’re around me. I am sorry. This is the truth.” My words and confession had shaken James up. I could see that. His eyes went wide when he heard the words and the initial ice was not there.

“If you were brave enough to leave me, then you have to be brave enough to deal with your feelings.” He said. My eyes watered at his cold words, like it didn’t matter to him at all. I took two steps and lowered myself in front of him, not even caring if tears were falling.

“It wasn’t braveness or attitude or anything, it was fear, fear I’d lost you so I had to go first.”

“You just had to believe me.” James said looking down at me and though I was dismantling in front of his eyes and putting all my pride aside, he didn’t react.

“It doesn’t matter now, what is done is done. I just want you to understand why we have to be distant. I have to stay calm and I am not calm with you near me. Still being in love with you is giving me a hard time, like I have never imagined…”

“It’s fucked up when we realize what we lost isn’t it?” He asked sarcastically.

“Don’t step on what I am telling you.” I asked him. “I am opening myself to you, not because I hope you tell the same to me but to do what I am asking you. I need to not see you or talk to you and I certainly do not need to yell at you every day.”

“Your words aren’t doing much for me.” He said seriously. I took both my hands to his chest and rested it there. James didn’t move but slightly jumped when I touched him. His eyes still locked on mine. His words were rough but his tone was no longer grumpy, though he was trying it to be.

“I need to fall out of love with you…please…” I begged him. Without a word, James grabbed both my hands and took it away from him, then he got up and grabbed his wallet and put it in his back pocket.

“You still haven’t learned.” He said looking back but with such despise that hurt me deeply again, and with that he just left me there alone and the door of the apartment slammed as he stomped on everything I had told him. I remained on my knees and my shoulders shook as I sobbed all alone, not because of the things I had told him, I felt like I had to tell him the truth, but because having to admit that to myself was hard. Very hard.
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Metalicious
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Ohhhh my... James, James, James... quit pickin' on the pregnant woman! Nadia's got some growing up to do, but at least she's being honest. He could be a little nicer! Although I'm not sure I'd want the father of my baby sticking around if he told me to shut the fuck up. Gracious.
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Shayniz21
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Poor Twisted Me
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Ok so, I like the fact that Nadia has confessed but I don't like how James reacted. He definitely did just stomp all over her. I understand him though, he's hurt because he loves her. More please!!
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
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I won't try to say a thing but he felt that way on that bloody airport.

More please :heart:
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Lilith
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Jaimelicious

Man, if some knew how pregnancy hormones can make you hypersensitive! Honestly, it's one of those experiences that change, that connect you with your emotions, that makes you humble. She has too much to deal right now. And I think as much as James wants to be a part of the kid's life, at his age, with what he has gone through, with his years of therapy, he'd know better than imposing himself to a woman that doesn't want him near. She just had a menace of labor, and he goes back to provoke her, when she should be left to rest at home. She finally opens herself to him, and he humiliates her.

I can see his side too, he doesn't get her feelings. She scares the shit out of him, because that baby gives her power over him, and the only way he knows ho to respond is defensively, trying to control her through the power of his wealth.

Both are managing things terribly bad. But the one in disadvantage here, it's her... and I insist... to what war is that child coming to the world... ;_;

This is very original! :horns2
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Shayniz21
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Poor Twisted Me
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I love your posts Lilith they are so insightful!!!
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Scorpion Flower
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Outlaw Torn
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I respected the rules the doctor had imposed. I didn’t go to work, I stayed calm and I rested the best and the most I could, though being at home doing nothing annoyed me. James had respected my boundaries as well, or maybe I had just pissed him off again, since it had been three days since he had been in the house with me and he left with the most despising look in his face that he ever directed to me. I was fine with that, after all, his absence was part of remaining calm.

I ran out of things to do at the first day at home. Nothing on TV would cheer me up, I had ran out of interesting books to read, the Jacuzzi was no longer fun. I was just bored. But here and there I managed to entertain myself. On the third day though, my quietness, my peaceful state of mind was shaken up like an earthquake. While I was in bed reading the newspaper on that morning my cell rang, and there is nothing wrong with that if I hadn’t seen James’ name on it. I didn’t answer the call, on purpose, I didn’t want to talk to him. As hours passed after the little event I began to calm down again, my heart stopped beating fast and the lump in my throat disappeared, but it was just temporary as my cell rang one more time and it was James again. I didn’t answer, and to prevent that struggle inside my head and the wiliness to talk to him, I took the cell to the balcony and left it there, so I wouldn’t hear it ringing if he called again. Life went back to normal after an hour or so. I returned to my catatonic state while laying on the couch pretending I was watching TV and that’s when my door bell rang.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“Open the door.” I heard him say, making me jump. James was there, right there in my front door, and I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t home, besides the fact that I had already talked, I had to be home, so I opened the door.

“You really want to drive me insane don’t you?” He asked promptly as he got in without being invited. Mindlessly I shut the door and turned to him.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“What am I doing here? What the fuck does it look like I am doing here? I am checking on you, I called you a hundred times for Christ Sake! I thought something happened.”

“Well nothing happened. As you can see I am fine.” I said taking my hand to the door to open it, so he could leave.

“You have got some nerve!” He exclaimed.

“No, you have some nerve. Didn’t I say I wanted distance?” I said leaving what I was doing behind. “Didn’t I say I didn’t want to talk to you?”

“I was worried!” He was on the verge of yelling.

“Well don’t be.”

“Fuck…” He cursed clenching his jaw.

“What was the part of everything I have told you that you didn’t understand?” I asked him rather calm. “This isn’t me against you now…this is me just trying to take care of myself. Put some order in my head and in my heart.”

“If you haven’t left me you didn’t have to go through all this. We didn’t have to go through all this.”

“It would be the same thing. We wouldn’t survive because the moment I’d tell you I was pregnant, you’d still ask me to abort and I’d still wouldn’t do it, so we wouldn’t survive, it would be the same thing. Now do you want me to tell you that I fucked up? I fucked up ok…”

“I fucked up are not the right words!” He said. “How about I am sorry James?”

“Is that what you want to hear?” I asked giving a step towards him. Then I brought my face close to his, too close for my own safety and close enough to make my heart speed. James’s chest jumped a little at my move but he didn’t stray nor did his eyes left mine. He defied me, stared at me like a wolf preparing his prey for the attack.

“Is that what you want to hear James?” I asked again forcing my voice not to shake. “Well I am sorry…I am sorry I left….I am sorry…I am sorry…” I repeated though the last time it was a whisper barely audible. “Do you want me to tell you that I regret it too? I do…I regretted every single day, every single hour and every single minute. I live my days haunted by it and I loved you so much, you’re right. I loved you and even after all the shit you said to me I still loved you. Satisfied?”

We faced each other in silence then, his breathing was audible though, his chest came up and down, his eyes narrowed, his hands got hold of my face, holding me strongly and steady and then he pressed his lips against mine, strongly as well, almost hurting me. I didn’t react, I didn’t kiss him back. James pulled away and dare me again looking in my eyes, his glittering in fire or in rage, I was not sure and then he made it to my lips again, this time softer. I raised a hand and tugged it in his hair, sliding my fingers in it and my lips responded this time to the kiss, his hands around my face began to lose strength and he even held it as just a caress. My other hand tugged on the back of his neck, and my fingers caressed him there. His tongue demanded entrance and my lips obeyed perfectly to his demand, my own tongue searched for his and entwined, dancing slowly as the kiss intensified, sending shivers all over my body.

His kiss was the same, there was passion in there I could tell and we kissed until we had to catch our breath. Just a second, then he pulled me to him again like he was possessed. His lips burned on mine hurting good, and our bodies got caught on fire quite easily. Breaking the kiss he turned me around and made me bend, I rested my hands on the table and felt his hands pulling my leggings down fast. I didn’t care, I let him, I was aching for him, my love clouding my vision. I had to feel him one more time.

Next I just heard him unbuckling himself and even faster I felt him entering me roughly. No words were shared, who needed words anyway? James began to thrust cautiously and I moaned feeling him one more time. His breathing heavily echoing in the living room as he rushed for his own pleasure and then out of nothing he withdrew from me abruptly and I looked back to see him pulling his jeans up.

“I can’t do this.” He said, and I looked at him more pissed off than ever. Rejecting me that way was more than I could take. I got dressed and almost ran to the door and opened it.

“Don’t come back here ever again.” I said. James stopped near me but I turned my face away. I couldn’t even look at him.

“I’m sorry…” He said calm. I felt my eyes burning with tears and still refused to look at him. “I can’t do this…”

“Fuck you.” I hissed.

“Nadia…” He called my name even in a sweet manner.

“Get the hell out of my sight.”

“Nadia…look at me.” He asked me but not daring to touch me.

I turned my head to face him. “Get the fuck out.” I told him not wanting to hear anything. There was nothing that he was going to say that would calm me down that moment and I was quite sure not ever. We stared at each other for a few seconds and finally James left. I slammed the door shut with all the strength and rage that I had with me and crashed against it crying. I felt incredibly ashamed of myself that moment, that was too humiliating.

“Nadia, let me talk to you.” James knocked again making me jump as he scared me.

“Go away!” I yelled from the inside.

“Open the door, let’s talk about this, I don’t wanna leave without an explanation.”

“There’s nothing you can say that will make me feel better now.”

“Please, open the door…” He pleaded. “I am sorry…” I cried silently holding my sobs inside so he wouldn’t hear it.

“Unlike you James, sorry is not enough for me now. You made me feel like dirt, like something that wasn’t even good. Don’t say anything ‘cause I don’t wanna hear it.”

“We can’t discuss this like this, soon the neighbors are going to complain, just open the door and hear me. Just hear me, then I’ll leave.”

I didn’t say anything, just stared at the locker for a few seconds, then I opened the door. “Just hear me.” He said coming inside quite fast. I closed the door again and looked at him with the urge to hit him with something.

“I can’t do this…” He said.

“You said that already, I think I got the picture.”

“Not like this, not mindless, not raging, not feeling…” I raised a hand making him stop.

“Don’t say more…you’re digging your own grave.”

“We are fighting mindlessly, we are accusing each other over and over again, we are almost fighting for our daughter and she’s not even here yet. We have too many issues. You hurt me, and I can’t let you hurt me again and I am quite sure you will. You are not ready, you’re not mature enough.”

“Are you done?” I asked.

“Why is that you don’t listen to me?” James asked almost as a plead. “Don’t be this proud and just think of the words I just told you, then you’ll understand.”

“You just humiliated me.”

“I came back to explain!”

“And you think explaining will erase the shame?”

“I think we’re past the shame Nadia, aren’t we? If you stop to listen to me it all be very clear in your mind. I want something that you’re not ready to give me.”

“Go away…honestly…leave me alone.”

“I shouldn’t have let myself get carried that way.”

“It’s ok. I’ll deal. Tomorrow is a new day.” I opened him the door again.

“You refuse to listen don’t you?”

“Leave me alone.”

James left for good then.
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
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Haha!!! Sorry amm James saying 'I can't', is this happened before ? :lol:

Okay now being serious, James is really emotional man, no fuck just love. :heart:
Edited by Some_Kind_Of_Monster, April 6, 2012, 8:10 am.
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Scorpion Flower
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Outlaw Torn
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
April 6, 2012, 6:36 am

James is really emotional man, no fuck just love. :heart:
With that, it was one hell of an humiliation for her.
Edited by Scorpion Flower, April 6, 2012, 7:17 am.
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
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Scorpion Flower
April 6, 2012, 7:17 am
Some_Kind_Of_Monster
April 6, 2012, 6:36 am

James is really emotional man, no fuck just love. :heart:
With that, it was one hell of an humiliation for her.
Well I won't comment that one, humiliation?
Too personal to comment, but like James said they are pass shame.
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