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| At Tragic Heights; NEW! James/OFC short story...sequel to Firewalking and HYBTB | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: March 8, 2012, 3:23 pm (8,493 Views) | |
| Tallulah | March 15, 2012, 6:59 pm Post #31 |
Bad Seed
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This like the rest of your stories are absolutely amazing. I love Nadia and James's relationship. And the sex? Wow! Great stuff. Looking forward to more. |
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| Lilith | March 15, 2012, 8:16 pm Post #32 |
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♥ Jaimelicious ♥
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@_@ Oh, God... all this chapter was so hot. I laughed so much with this: “No...yes…God…oh yes….” xD Aw, James is stealing my heart in this... ;_; |
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| Scorpion Flower | March 16, 2012, 9:31 am Post #33 |
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Outlaw Torn
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All our bags were being carried away to the vans, as we were flying back to the States, New York, first city being visited by Metallica’s American Tour. James was reunited with the band and I was sat at a table, having breakfast with Connie. “So, are you guys together? We all saw the hands, and the kiss yesterday?” Connie smiled. I played a little with my food before answering her, but then I remembered how James and I agreed we didn’t want to hide or lie to anyone. We were both free, I knew that already, so I nodded at her. A smile of contentment forming on my lips. “We are.” I affirmed. “He’s separated…” “I know. It’s been a long time since we all know, but I didn’t want to be the one telling you, you know, it’s a private matter and we didn’t want to go there. That’s why I told you, you needed to talk to him, because I felt he’d tell you the truth.” “Yeah…I remember you saying that two nights ago. I didn’t think it was that, but then he told me so…” “There was a weird vibe between you two, we all could see that!” Connie laughed. “God…this all seems so unreal!” “Are you happy?” She asked. “I am. He’s amazing.” “And your ex, how’s that going in your head, well, and in your heart?” “Mark…well…Mark is someone I used to love, James is the one I love now.” “There’s no doubt?” “No…I felt torn between them for some time, though I refused to be in love with James, so I fed my passion for Mark. Then he called, and I can’t deny I didn’t feel anything, but I came to realize that what I felt was fear and not love. Then I talked to James that same night about it, and that conversation opened my eyes for reality, and that was that I was in love with him. Also Lars…” I laughed and Connie laughed too. “He can be so sneaky.” She commented. “he had been telling me for some time that you two were in love. He knows James so well.” “He asked me directly if I was in love with James! I began to think about it…things happened meanwhile.” “They’re touring LA, I bet your ex is gonna look for you there.” “James doesn’t want me to talk to him. He feels so insecure…” “You have to be the one washing away his insecurity. Maybe with time he’ll let go. You’re gonna have to face Mark though, you’re gonna have to talk to him sooner or later.” I stopped talking and just thought about Connie’s words. Being away from LA just made things easy, going back there made me shake a little. “I know…” “Are you also afraid?” Connie contemplated me. “Not for me, no. I know I can look at Mark now and tell him it’s really over, but for him…” I pointed at James. “I am afraid of his reaction, that’s all, but not for me, not at all.” “If you are so secure and sure of your feelings Nadia, then you’re gonna be fine.” James and Lars approached the table. “Nadia, are you done?” James asked me. I cleaned my mouth with a napkin and got up. “Yeah…” I said. James grabbed my hand in his. “We need to go then, the van is waiting.” James and I sat at the back of the plane. I saw Spain disappearing in the sky and mentally said hello to my home country. James sat comfortably and pulled my hand to his lap, holding it in his. “Chloe has an exhibition in New York.” He said. “I know , that’s why they left right after the show.” “I want you to go.” “I am going, of course, she’s a friend and she said straight away she wanted me there.” “With me Nadia.” He said resting his head against mine. “The press is gonna be there.” I stated. “And? Aren’t we together?” “But they will snoop around, and I am not ready for that.” “Sweetie…” James whispered. “I wanna go with you, like my date. We promised we weren’t going to hide from anyone.” “Our friends, that’s different.” I insisted. “I don’t want strangers wondering who I am and where I came from, and what I have done in my life before being with you. It scares me.” “I know…” He kissed my lips. “But, I’d like to hold your hand there and act natural. Please…do it for me?” “Don’t look at me like that.” I said noticing his puppy eyes. “Please…” I looked out at the small window of the plane, but he grabbed my chin and made me look back at him. “Ok.” I finally agreed and he shot me his victorious grin. We arrived in New York at six pm, local time. Again, and despite that I had my own room booked, James and I shared his. We were a bit jet lagged and tired, so we took a shower and decided to stay in the room for dinner before heading to Chloe’s exhibition. As the hour approached I felt a bit nervous, I didn’t know what to expect. Maybe no reporters were there but then, there could also be some. I leaned against the couch and breathed deeply, trying to relax. James disturbed the silence with his heavy steps, which cause me to open my eyes and look at him. Freshly showered, hair wet and tangled while he brushed a towel on it, and his masculine scent intoxicated the environment. “Maybe we should order dinner, it’s seven thirty, then we need to go.” He said. “Yeah, you do that. I need to choose what to wear. I don’t know what to wear.” James threw the towel on a chair and sat by my side. “You have pretty clothes, I love your casual but neat style. You don’t have to wear anything too fancy babe.” “Ok. Will you order dinner then? While I raid my suitcases.” James nodded “What do you want to have?” “Just a salad is fine. You know what I like.” After dinner both James and I began to get ready for the exhibition. He got ready first than I did. I wanted to look perfect, not just for him but because I didn’t know what I was going to find there. I wanted to cause a good impression on people, so I took my time on the makeup, something I didn’t put daily. Once I was ready, I put some drops of perfume and went to James, who was waiting for me in the living room. “Wow…” James told me a bit amazed. His eyes raked my body and then he stared at my face, then he smiled. “You look amazing sweetie.” He said. I had put my black satin dress, opened on the back. I let my hair fall naturally and shadowed my eyes in tones of grey and black, which exalted the blue of my eyes. “Thanks.” I told him a bit embarrassed. It was the first time he was seeing me that neat and I also couldn’t ignore how cute he looked. “I guess we better go, we’re already a bit late.” James gave me his arm and I noticed my high heel sandals had been a perfect choice, I looked a lot taller by his side. In the elevator he stared at me once more. “Don’t look at me like that.” I asked him, feeling my face blush a little. “I can’t.” He whispered bringing his lips to mine. “You look beautiful tonight kitten.” “I’m glad you like it.” I smiled at him and ran my hand over his face. Then the elevator reached the lobby and he gave me back his arm. The van was outside waiting for us, and the driver opened the door so we could get in. Already sat, James grabbed my hand and rested it on his leg, with his upon mine. I looked out at the window observing New York by night, but also too nervous to have a coherent conversation, so I’d rather stay silent. Many thoughts running through my mind, it was our first public event ever and I didn’t know what to expect. “Don’t be nervous.” He whispered in my ear knowingly. I turned my head to look at him and offered him a sincere smile. “It’ll be ok.” The van parked in front of a building. I saw a small red carpet on it and my stomach churned. I saw that only the doorman was there. No reporters could be seen and my heart rested. James got out first and then he gave me his hand, helping me getting out too. Then he didn’t let go, and our way inside began, hand in hand. We walked through a small corridor. I could hear people talking, music playing, and when we made our way until the end, a small door led to the party. I saw heads turning around to look at us, and my grip on James hand tightened. He continued walking and dragging me with him until we reached Chloe, and there I saw some photographs being shot. While we greeted her and then talked to her for a while, James surrounded my waist with his arm, showing intimacy. I can’t deny it didn’t feel good, but the few reporters in there shooting us were driving me nuts. “I am going to the bar.” I told him excusing myself. I needed to get away from him for a while, but it was too late for that move. Even if I walked there alone, some cameras followed me, heads too, people were curious. “A Martini please.” I asked at the counter, then I turned around just watching people having fun. Suddenly everything seemed calmer. The rush of seeing James with another woman had calmed down, and my heart rested for a bit. I stayed there for a while, just watching people around, then I saw a woman, a beautiful woman, approaching James and Lars. She was tall, almost as tall as James, dressed in a red dress, stylish, and both smiled openly at her. She greeted them both and stayed there talking, I shook a little. “Another Martini please. Two olives.” I asked again. The bartender put it on the counter and I grabbed the glass. She touched James arm gently, and I gulped a great portion of the liquid, feeling the alcohol burning down my throat. Their laughter were heard, conversation seemed funny, my heart was racing. James talked to her and she smiled, then she rubbed his arm again in response, that was it. I took the glass to my lips and downed the rest of the beverage. Then I walked up to them and placed myself by James’s side, and clutched my hand in his, like marking my territory. I was jealous. “Nadia, this is Skylar, Lars’ ex wife.” James introduce me. “Oh!” I exclaimed. “Lars ex wife…” “Nice meeting you.” She said stretching me her hand. I shook it. “I’m Nadia. Nice meeting you too.” “This is my girlfriend, I was just telling you about her.” James told her. “I was just teasing James about women since he’s single now, but he was telling me he was taken already.” She laughed. I smiled unsure of what to tell her. I felt embarrassed again. I knew James knew I was jealous, and I had never been jealous in my whole life. Though I loved Mark, I never felt quite jealous, not to the point where I thought I had to show the man was mine, like I had just done it. That moment, I didn’t care to show we were together indeed, I just grabbed his hand and that was it. While we talked he put his arm around my shoulders pulling me more to him, showing even more intimacy, but I also knew he was trying to put my heart to a rest. We talked for a while, saw Chloe’s pieces of art and then went back to the hotel. “Was it that bad?” He asked on our way back. “It was rather calm wasn’t it?” “Yes, I thought it would be worse.” “Well, there were some reporters, but at least not enough to scare you.” “It was better that way.” “You didn’t know Skylar?” He asked. I knew he was going to give a bad time over that and smiled at him, his grin showed immediately. “You were jealous, weren’t you sweetie?” “What makes you think that?” I tried to be firm. “You tried to avoid me the rest of the time, then you just appeared there and grabbed my hand not caring about it anymore. Just when a woman is talking to me.” “You’re so vain!” I exclaimed laughing. “It’s ok to be jealous. I kinda liked it to be honest.” “I was, I am not going to deny it. I made a fool out of myself.” I laughed loud. “God…when you said she was Lars ex, I just wanted to dig a hole and crawl inside.” “You were amazing tonight. I watched you around and you were perfect.” “I was amongst friends mostly” “Still…” He kissed my lips softly. “Now I wanna make love to you.” He rubbed his nose on mine and I giggled. “Hummm…that sounds nice.” |
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| Some_Kind_Of_Monster | March 16, 2012, 10:42 am Post #34 |
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☠ (R.I.P) † Return Is Possible †
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Hmmm...Yes that sounds nice I like the jealousy Waiting for more.
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| Tallulah | March 16, 2012, 11:13 am Post #35 |
Bad Seed
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That was great! Loved Nadia being jealous. But of Skylar? That's hilarious. |
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| HannahBanana | March 16, 2012, 11:26 am Post #36 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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Awww James is too cute wanting to show everyone that he and Nadia are together
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| Lilith | March 17, 2012, 2:31 am Post #37 |
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♥ Jaimelicious ♥
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James is so sweet in this... and her jealousy! lool
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| Scorpion Flower | March 17, 2012, 8:00 am Post #38 |
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Outlaw Torn
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I stirred in my sleep and opened my eyes slowly. I saw sunlight coming in behind the curtains and rubbed my eyes to shake the sleep away. Then I turned around to his side, but the bed was empty. I raised my head and the room seemed too quiet, the shower wasn’t running as well and, finally, I saw a note on his pillow. I grabbed the paper to read it. “Sweetie, Don’t stress out. I went through the agenda so I know what I have to do today. Hope you can rest for the morning. I didn’t want to wake you up, I know you’re tired. See you later. Love, James” I grabbed my cell on the bedside table and called him. “Hi sweetie.” He answered the call joyfully. “Since when do I have special treatment on this tour? I should be working…” I told him. “Don’t worry, I have everything under control. Thought you’d like to sleep late today.” “James…I want to be like everyone else. I don’t want it to be different because we’re together now.” I told him. “It’s ok, like I said, don’t worry about it. The van is outside if you wanna meet us. I told the guy to come back to the hotel when he left me here.” “I’m gonna take a shower and I’m going.” “See you in a while then.” After the goodbyes, I put the cell back on the bedside table and went for a shower. When finished, I raided my suitcase for a pair of black jeans and a white strapless top, and searched for my black All Star too. While backstage, I just wanted to be as comfortable as possible. I ran a brush through my wet hair and grabbed my purse. Finally, left the room. I was in a good mood, being with James was transforming me into another person, a happier one, and I liked my job. As the elevator stopped at the lobby I went out, heading to the street. Then I saw a familiar tall figure in jeans and white shirt. I shuddered, my knees failed and my heart began to race franticly. I thought of not stopping and go straight to the van, but he turned around, making my plan a big failure. “Na!” He yelled and came to me. I stayed frozen, like glued on the floor. “Na…” He said again when he was near me, his green eyes glowing. “What are you doing here Mark?” I asked him. “I came looking for you.” He said. “And how did you find me?” Being with Metallica on tour, sure that hasn’t been an easy task for him. “I called every fucking fancy hotel in this town asking for your name.” “You shouldn’t be here.” “We need to talk Na…” “I can’t talk to you.” I affirmed. “Why not?” Mark insisted. “I need to go to work. You know, I am working, I have a schedule and I am running late. I’m sorry…” With that I turned my back at him but Mark grabbed my hand in his, the familiar touch made me shudder again, but I pulled my hand away. “Are you with him now Na?” Mark asked me. I jerked my hand away. “That’s none of your business.” With that I managed to escape and began to walk outside, but Mark followed me. “You must be.” He said, but I ignored his remark and continued walking. “I’m going to the show tonight!” He exclaimed and that was the last thing I heard from him as I closed the door of the van and ordered the driver to leave. When the van parked in front of the gate that led me to the backstage, I ran to find Chuck, the security chief. I found him inside, giving instructions to two guys. “Chuck, can I talk to you?” I asked him. He motioned his head telling the two boys to go. “I need you to do me a favor, if anyone comes looking for me, you say I cannot be disturbed. Don’t call me.” “Anyone?” “Yes, anyone. No one can talk to me here.” I said. “What’s the matter?” A voice behind me made me jump, I turned around fast. “Nothing.!” I exclaimed. I approached James and kissed his lips, but he didn’t move or kiss me back, he stayed quiet and his eyes looked down at me in a inquisitive way. “What’s the matter Nadia? Why do you look so nervous?” “Nothing happened.” I grabbed his hand and began to pull him away with me. “Do we still have time to have lunch together?” “I already had lunch.” James stopped, making me stop with him. “Look in my eyes and say that everything is fine.” He insisted. “You looked fine and relaxed on the phone and that is far from what I have in front of me right now. What happened?” “Nothing happened ok?” I insisted too. It was better if James didn’t know anything about Mark. I didn’t want him to stress over it. I just wanted him to be alright, plus I knew we’d fight. We’d always fight when the subject was Mark, let alone if I had told him Mark went looking for me at the hotel. Reluctantly James grabbed my hand and kept me company while I had lunch. Then I began to calm down and he got distracted by my change of humor. I knew inside there I was safe. The rest of the day went with no further incidents. Bit by bit and distracted with work, I turned back to the calm me. James also put his guards down and was peaceful again, and I didn’t comment anything about the incident to anyone, I kept it all to myself. That way it would go away, I haven’t done anything wrong, so why worry him by telling him the truth. Part of me hammered on that, part of me knew I should tell him, but the other part was saying no, and I went with that. After a great show, we came back together to the hotel. On our way there I mentally prayed that Mark wasn’t there waiting for me to come back. I didn’t want James and Mark face to face for some reason. As we got in my heart raced again, and I almost took a deep breath when I saw no one at the lobby. I grabbed James’s hand in mine and looked up at him, smiling. He smiled back. “Ready for me?” He teased, and I was about to answer him when the receptionist called my name. “Yes…” I said walking up to his desk. James followed me. “The person that was here looking for you today left you this.” He said. Instantly I saw James’s head turning to look at me, my hands shook as I grabbed the envelope the receptionist had in his hands. “What is that?” James asked. “I don’t know.” I said dryly. “You don’t know or you don’t want to tell me?” James insisted and his tone was not friendly. “Who came looking for you here today Nadia?” “No one.” I whispered looking down at my feet. James punched the elevator’s button. “No one…and how does no one leave you a fucking letter?” “James…” I got the courage to look in his eyes. His were ice cold looking down at me and I felt tears probing in my eyes. “It was him wasn’t it?” He asked. I looked away, but he grabbed my jaw and made me look back at him. “Answer me.” I jerked my face away from his hand and opened the envelope. James punched on the elevator, while I read the note. “Na, I hope we can talk. I really want to work things out. I know I fucked up badly by letting you go, but I guess I didn’t know how much I loved you. I love you so much beautiful, and I miss you even more. Please, let’s talk, I know we can still work things out. Forgive me. Mark.” I knew James had read the whole thing over my shoulder, so I didn’t have to confirm Mark had been there. He punched the elevator again and then the doors opened, reaching our floor. He got out of it fast and gave huge steps until the room, then when the door closed, he exploded, like I expected he would. “He was here and you didn’t tell me? Now I know why you were so nervous. Why lie to me?” He yelled. “Because of this!” I said pointing at him. “Because I knew you’d act like this, ok? Yes he was here, but that doesn’t mean anything.” “How come it doesn’t mean anything? You were so nervous….of course it meant something.” James shook his head, resting his hands on his waist, then he looked up at the ceiling, silent. Then he looked down at me again. “How in hell did he find out where you were? Have you been talking to him on the phone?” “NO!” I yelled. “I haven’t been talking to him! He said he called every fucking hotel in town until he found me!” “And he left you a note! Isn’t that fucking cute…” He laughed sarcastically. “Lying to me Nadia wasn’t a very smart option. At all…” “I didn’t lie, I simply did not tell you. Isn’t that what you say? I didn’t lie….I just didn’t want to tell you, because I knew you’d be all nervous and suspicious, like you are now. I need you to trust me!” I pleaded. “Please trust me James.” “It is very hard to do so.” He said, leaving me alone and going to the bedroom. I stayed on the couch for a while. The letter on the coffee table. I looked at it countless times but didn’t read it again. My pain wasn’t that, my pain was James and the way he had reacted. He’d always show how little he trusted me, and that was hard to take. “Are you gonna read that shit again?” I heard his voice behind me. I looked back. “You can be so rude when you want!” “How do you want me to act in a situation like this?” “I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!” I yelled losing my grip. “What I know is that I would like to feel more supported. I would like you to trust me. Jesus, I understand your point, I really do, but instead of making things easier for us, you’re just making it so damn hard.” “I think I made it clear when I said I didn’t want you to talk to him.” “Well guess what? The world doesn’t evolve around you. Is this how is it going to be? All about you and fuck the rest, because I think I was also very clear that I already had my share of that. You don’t dictate rules, if you do this relationship will never work. And, I didn’t talk to him, other than to tell him I needed to leave and asked him how he found me. That’s why the fucking note is here, don’t you think? What did I say about staying cold about this? I’m gonna have to talk to him sometime, otherwise he won’t leave me alone.” “If you talk to him Nadia, we’re done. That will be it for us.” He could be cold like that. “Why do you put things that way? Doesn’t it cross your mind that I just want to tell him that I moved on, that I love someone else. That’s what I want to tell him and unless he hears these words he’ll still think that I am in love with him and that he has a chance. We’ll always fight because of him, because you’re still going to be insecure, unless you are sure that I have said such things to him. James…” I grabbed his face between my hands and stood on the tip of my toes. “I love you. I love you not him, please…see this.” James grabbed both my arms by my wrists and pulled my hands away. I rested my feet on the floor and looked at him in disbelief. “I can’t believe that you don’t even believe me when I say I love you.” I told him turning around. “If you don’t then this is all useless.” I went to the room and James didn’t follow me. It was his turn to stay on the couch. I lay down on bed thinking if I should leave him there alone and go to my suite, the one that was booked on my name, just then he walked in again and leaned against the threshold with his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. I raised my head to look at him and saw his chest coming up and down as he breathed. “I believe that you love me.” He said quietly. “Then act like you do.” I begged him and sitting on the bed. James approached me and sat on the bed too, his weight sinking the mattress as he did so. “You should have told me.” I was going to argue but he put his hand against my lips. “I would react badly, I can’t deny it, but it wouldn’t be this bad. This made me feel like you’re hiding things for a reason. This makes me feel that you’re still divided and don’t know what to do, maybe keeping me just in case. I know none of us is perfect Nadia, but you also have to see my side in this.” “I am not divided. I know what I want, I’m sorry I made you feel that way, it wasn’t my intention. I just thought why bother you, you know?” James came closer and rested his forehead in mine. “This is not a matter of bothering, it’s feelings we’re talking about Nadia. It hurts if you lie…” |
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| Some_Kind_Of_Monster | March 17, 2012, 9:16 am Post #39 |
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☠ (R.I.P) † Return Is Possible †
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She didn't lie but she should tell Cold in seconds and hot same quick. Perfect I hope Mrak meet James' fist More!
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| Scorpion Flower | March 17, 2012, 3:08 pm Post #40 |
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Outlaw Torn
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She didn't lie, but she hid it...which is almos the same thing. Suspicious?
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| Lilith | March 18, 2012, 4:29 am Post #41 |
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♥ Jaimelicious ♥
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Oh, no... James insecurities are kicking in... in a bad way. She has to be more prudent if she doesn't want to stir his jealousy further. |
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| Scorpion Flower | March 18, 2012, 7:13 am Post #42 |
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Outlaw Torn
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The next morning I woke up alone in bed but I could hear James’s voice in the living room of our suite. He was talking to someone and suddenly I was sure I had heard him saying my name. After rubbing my sleep away, I pulled the covers away and tiptoed near the door, which was slightly opened. The fact that I heard him talking about me got me curious. “Yes Sir.” I heard Tom’s voice. “From now on Nadia’s name should not be on the list of the people that stay with us in hotels. No one can know where she is. I hope I am clear about this.” James said. I closed my eyes as I heard the words. Once again he was showing me little trust, worse, he was doing everything behind my back, as he didn’t ask me if I agreed with his decision. I tiptoed until the bathroom and opened the water, then while it got warm I grabbed something to wear. Honestly, I didn’t even take time doing it, I was feeling a bit pissed off at him again. I was letting the water fall down on me, when I felt the door of the bathroom opening slowly, then I saw his head popping in. “You’re up.” He said smiling. I offered a smile too, but inside I was boiling. I was still not certain if I should tell him something or not. One thing I was sure, I didn’t like to fight with him, and since James, clearly, didn’t trust me, I was unsure if it was a good idea to go against what he wanted, but I hated people bossing me around. I hated people making decisions for me and I hated even more the fact that not even a little he could trust me. “How are you?” I asked closing the water. Immediately his arm handed me a towel. “I am fine. Wanna have breakfast? I was waiting for you to wake up.” “Yeah…I am hungry.” I said. My words came out without affection. I was like that, incapable to pretended everything was alright if nothing was alright, and James curled an eyebrow when he heard my tone. “Are you still mad at me?” He asked immediately. I turned my head fast to look at him and my lips parted to speak, but nothing came out of them as I held my harsh words inside. “I thought we were alright, we talked last night.” He continued. “Yeah, I thought we were alright too.” I said, again, coldly. James gave a step forward and grabbed my arm, spinning me around to make me look at him. “And we are right?” He asked looking deep in my eyes. “You’re not!” I exclaimed. I freed my arm from his and began to ran the towel on my hair. “What are you talking about?” He asked. I remained silent, looking at my image in the mirror. James pulled me back a little and sat on the basin, blocking my view. “Can you look at me when I talk to you?” I put the towel down and looked in his face for a few seconds, but I wasn’t strong enough to pretend I haven’t heard anything. “I heard you giving orders to erase my name from the list.” I said. I saw him tense in front of me. His face became rigid and I knew he wanted to yell at me, at least, because he knew I had been eavesdropping. “It’s better that way.” He said instead. “And since when you decided what is better and what is not all by yourself?” I raised my voice. I was getting to the exact point that irritated me. It was not the fact that Mark couldn’t find me, I couldn’t care less about that, it was about the fact that he decided things concerning me without asking me first. “What? Do you want him to find you in the next city?” He also yelled. James couldn’t see beyond Mark. He was just so blind with that subject that he couldn’t see beyond him. I felt that we were going to have major issues because of that. “This is not about him!” I waved my hands in the air. My heart was racing, I felt my blood boiling. “This is not about him! It is about me! It’s me you’re commanding. I hate people bossing me around and deciding things for me. That’s my problem! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Couldn’t you ask me first instead of catch me sleeping and then go for it? You weren’t even going to tell me! I happened to hear it!” “You need to calm down.” He said. “You need to stop this.” I pointed my finger in his face. “Seriously James, you need to stop this. You’re driving me insane and this isn’t good.” “I just don’t want him to find you!” “I am ok with that!” I yelled again. “I am ok when you tell me something like that, I understand your point, I really do, but if you make decisions concerning me, you need to talk to me first. I would have agreed with you, just not the way you decided to do it, behind my back and hiding it from me then. Why, just tell me why, you have decided to do it that way?” James looked away and didn’t answer. I smiled ironically. “Because you thought I wouldn’t want it right? Because you think I still like him.” “I am afraid….” He breathed. “This is unhealthy as well.” I said shaking my head. “Instead of enjoying what we have, you spend your time fearing him. What the hell? I am with you, I told you I was in love with you! Isn’t that enough?” James shook his head and I looked at him in disbelief. “Then I don’t know what to do.” “How do you want me to act? You spent so much time taking about him and your feelings for him. Do you know how hard it was for me to hear about it after some time? Do you know how it feels like to be in love with someone and the person keeps saying she loves someone else blindly, and I am using your words.” “No, I don’t know how that feels. I understand what you’re saying. I understand your point of view, but that was before I realized I had feelings for you. I stopped talking about him, then you chased me asking why I didn’t talk about him anymore. Understand that when we met, you might have had your head quite figured out, from what you told me, you knew you wanted to separate, that you didn’t love your wife anymore, so your heart was free, mine wasn’t. When we met, Mark had broken up with me and I was devastated, my head wasn’t clear at all, yes I was in love with him and I remained in love with him for some time but then it disappeared. That’s the only difference between you and I, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you now and that I want to go back to him and love him still. I don’t!” I gave a step nearer and cupped his face between my hands. “Please…” I pleaded. “See beyond him. Think of us, just us, you and me. You asked me to be with you and I am with you, do you think I’d be here if my feelings for you weren’t mutual?” James shook his head. “Then baby, let him go, for our own sake and please, don’t make any decisions concerning my persona without asking me first. We’re two in this relationship, you’re not alone.” “I’m sorry.” He said. “I love you, I really do.” I whispered resting my forehead against his. “But you’re making things so hard for us. Why do you feel so insecure?” “Because he’s young!” He yelled. “Because he probably knows more about you than I do, so he can please you faster, because he knows everything about you and we’re still getting to know each other.” “Because he’s young?” I giggled. James looked away, but I grabbed his jaw and made him look at me. “Because he’s young?” I repeated the question. “I can’t believe you are telling me something like that.” James jerked away and left. I ran after him. “The guy is 27 for Christ sake! I am 48 Nadia!” “And? Let me get this straight, so you think you’re too old for me?” “Yes.” He confessed shyly. James felt embarrassed with his confessing and turned his back at me, facing a wall. I smiled, touched by his naïve confession. I walked up to him and surrounded his waist with my arms, kissed the back of his shoulder. “Baby…” I called him. “Look at me.” James turned around and I rested my chin against his chest, looking up at him. “I don’t give a shit about that. You’re the hottest guy I’ve ever been with.” I joked and a soft smile appeared on his lips. “Now seriously, I don’t care about that, not even a little bit.” “I care…” He whispered. James grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit by his side on the bed. “I care Nadia. Look…” He took a break thinking about what to say. “You like to go out at night, I don’t, and I am sure there will come the time when you’re going to miss that. It’s natural, you’re 26, still young, so I won’t be able to judge you. I have done most things already that you still have to do, how is it gonna be when that time comes? Are you going to blame me? He can give you so many things that I can’t!” “Like going out at night? You’re being so unreasonable. I don’t care about that. I know you a little bit, and that’s not important. I am quite sure there are other things we can do together that will make me happy. James…” He took a hand to my lips to silence me. “He can give you kids…” He added. “Eventually, one day you’ll want to have your own kids, it’s the natural course of life. I don’t want to have anymore kids, and that is also very clear in my head. I have three kids and I am happy with them. Babies? I’ve been there and I’ve done that, I can have them but I don’t want anymore. Is it fair then to tell you no?” “Why are we talking about kids? James, I am not even thinking about that, it doesn’t even cross my mind!” I argued. “Now! It doesn’t, now!” “What I feel is that you’re coming up with excuses for our relationship not to work.” I stated. “No, I am just opening the book up for you. I don’t want to deceive you, to create illusions in your head. I want you to have a clear picture of what to expect, and I am being honest about how I feel. I love you, and I want us to work, but I also want you to know what you can count on.” “And what if I tell you that I still want to be with you?” “Then I want you to be with me.” He said in a whisper. His words barely audible. I came closer and kissed his lips. “I am quite sure that what I feel for you is bigger than any of the things you told me.” I breathed against his lips. “Just don’t break my heart and we’ll be fine.” “I am afraid you’ll break mine!” He argued. “Can’t you see that? You came into my life so unexpectedly…” I smiled. “That’s how things usually happen, out of nowhere. James, don’t dwell on that, let us live quietly and peacefully, not with demons and ghosts of past relationships between us. We’re free, we’re both free, we fell in love and we’re together. Why put other stuff above that?” “See…that’s the naivety of the 26 years old speaking. Because there’s always things that come between love and sometimes even above love.” “Well, one of us has to be the mature one then.” I laughed. “You’re the one to keep my feet on the ground. I don’t care about late nights and random fun. I care about things we do together, I care about you, I like to be with you and the things I do with you. I am happy with that and that’s all that matters. Do you think if now I came back to my old life I’d be happier? I wouldn’t, and do you wanna know why? Because you weren’t there, so none of that makes sense.” “Are you sure?” He ran a hand through my hair. “I am sure. Look, you’ve seen me on tour. I am not even the party type of girl. I came back to the hotel most of the times.” I tried to convince him. “I noticed that, but you also mentioned LA by night.” I rolled my eyes at his statement. “Sometimes I go out with friends, but I am sure even you sometimes go out at night.” James nodded. “It doesn’t mean we have to do it every night. Come on baby, it doesn’t bother me a bit, not even one bit, the fact that you’re much older, I am not scared, I am prepared for whatever the future brings, except for the paparazzi.” James cracked a laughter. “Well, that is the least, with time you get used to it and even if it doesn’t stop bothering you, you simply don’t care.” “So?” He bent over my face and placed a sweet tender kiss on my lips. My hand rested on his face and we looked in each others eyes from the tiny distance of noses touching. “Let him be James, he doesn’t matter, only you matter. I can’t express in words how much I care for you. I never even loved anyone the way I love you, not even him, and I loved him a lot.” “I love you a lot too and I am scared, but so are you in a way.” His eyes lowered on my lips and he kissed me again. I caressed the back of his neck with my needy fingers. “Only you matter.” I repeated in a whisper. “Only you.” Our lips united in a strong, loving kiss. |
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| Some_Kind_Of_Monster | March 18, 2012, 8:47 am Post #43 |
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☠ (R.I.P) † Return Is Possible †
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I'm 48 !! I love him Life is brutal, we all should have our own James Hetfields I bet Mark waits to strike More
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| cmania | March 18, 2012, 10:04 am Post #44 |
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Frantic
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more james james james 48 it´s nothing just look at you I hope jame stop with that subject about age and mark soon
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| Lilith | March 18, 2012, 12:50 pm Post #45 |
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♥ Jaimelicious ♥
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Ah, bloody control freak Hetfield... hehehe... but he is so cute being so insecure... Oh baby, you're king of the world... who can compete with you?
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and her jealousy! lool
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8:37 PM Jul 10