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At Tragic Heights; NEW! James/OFC short story...sequel to Firewalking and HYBTB
Topic Started: March 8, 2012, 3:23 pm (8,492 Views)
HannahBanana
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Poor Twisted Me
[ * ]
Sometimes James makes me so upset with him! Lol :D
Dammit Hetfield! Stop being so insecure, if he doesn't let Nadia speak to Mark then Mark won't leave her alone until he knows the truth.
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Scorpion Flower
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Outlaw Torn
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James opened up the book. He had made very clear what I could expect from him, but I was sincerely in love with him, so it didn’t scare me. I had never thought about having kids, had never made that a priority in my life. Kids wouldn’t be a problem, I could live without them, I was quite sure of that, but love, love was always a priority for me, and I loved him indeed. I loved him more than I could remember loving someone and I didn’t want to give that away by any means.

So, opening up revealed to be a good things for us. Our relationship reached a new level, a level of peace and quietness, and we were happy. Through out the rest of the American leg of the tour, we shared great moments, made love, shared intimate details and confessed our feelings for each other countless times. The rest of the tour went with no further incidents, with no fights. I thought we were reaching the level of being indestructible, of trusting each other, but LA proved me wrong. All the quietness came to an end, fights came back. LA, the last city of the tour, went wrong in many ways.

“Are you going out?” He asked me while sat on the couch of the living room of the suite. Though we were in LA, and I had my apartment in there, James insisted that I should stay with him.

“With some friends.” I said coming behind him and resting both my hands on his shoulders. He was a bit tense and I massaged him. “We talked about this.”

“I know, have fun ok? Where are you guys going?” James looked back.

I shrugged. “Just to see a band live.” I told him. I felt guilty, I should tell him the truth, but I was quite sure if I’d tell him that Mark was the lead singer of the covers band I was going to see he wouldn’t let me go. I was lying to him, and that was my first big mistake.

“Big band?” He asked rather surprised.

“No, just a covers band. They are from college and play some small clubs around town during the weekends. They’re not professional.” I explained. James gaze searched for mine deeply and I gulped. Somehow, that second, I felt like he knew exactly where I was going, but still he got up and kissed my lips.

“Have fun.” He said running his thumb on my cheek, again his blue gaze locked on mine and I remembered the words he once told me “I would be able to let you go without a fight.”
“I’ll come back soon, I promise.” James gave me a faded smile and came back to the couch, giving me his back. I stayed there for a couple of seconds watching him and then left.

“Hi Lars! Bye Lars!” I exclaimed meeting Lars at the lobby.

“Where are you going?” He yelled as I was running.

“Paradise Garage!” I yelled back.

I met Diana, my best friend, her sister and Sandy out at the street and then we went straight to the club. Though they wanted to go nearer, I refused to. I stayed on the back, I didn’t want Mark to see me, I still didn’t want to talk to him. That, or the fact that my guilty conscience was killing me, still I remained on the back and planned to leave once their show was over. Diana would go back and forward to convince me.

“Come on Na, you can go there!” She told me pulling my arm, but I resisted.

“No Diana.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to go nearer, really.”

“Is it because of him?” She asked releasing me.

“I kind of lied to him and I feel awful. He wouldn’t let me come here, and God, he’s so right.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong Na.” She said seriously.

“Really? Then how come this feels so wrong inside of me?”

“Do you love him that much?” Diana asked. I nodded. Sympathetically, she patted my back. “Look, we see the show and leave to another place.” And she remained there with me, at the back where we couldn’t be seen.

I became more relaxed, after all, it had been a few time since I last had been with my best friend, and I had decided to take the job at the Metclub and go to San Francisco, I had to make the most out of my time her. I caught myself talking to her cheerfully, even laughing, telling stories about Europe and things that happened on the tour, barely paying attention to the show. Honestly, I don’t even know what songs they played that night, after a while it was only about the conversation and catching up with Diana. Suddenly, I felt a hand grabbing my arm strongly. I knew that hand very well, and that touch.

My head turned around to look up and I found ice blue staring at me. His grip was firm, not a trace of friendship on his face. His lines were rigid, and I swear I could hear his teeth grating.

“What are you doing here?” I finally gathered the courage to ask.

“The question is what the fuck are you doing here?” He asked back. Yes, his tone was nothing but angry. Disappointment written all over his face. Diana excused herself and left us alone.

“They are my friends!” I exclaimed, pulling my arm away, because his grip was so firm that it was beginning to hurt.

“That is your ex in there!” He shot at me.

“How do you know?” I asked surprised.

“Funny thing. I caught myself talking to Lars and I don’t know why, he told me your ex did vocals in a cover band. I just had to add that information to what you told me and here I am…You lied to me Nadia.” I lowered my gaze. He was right. He was so damn right, and I was ashamed of myself. My hand took hold of his.

“Let’s go away.” I told him. James ripped his hand away abruptly.

“You bet we are, unless you choose to stay here.” He defied me. I didn’t stay to make him say it twice. I turned around robotically and began to push my way out of the club. I could feel his heavy steps behind me, and his heavy breathing on my back. James was pissed off and had the right to be.

The familiar van was outside the club. I opened the door myself and hopped in, dragging my body inside so James could sit as well. I leaned against the seat and looked out at the street, because I couldn’t even face him. Silence was the only thing that could be heard, then paying more attention to, his heavy breathing became audible. He was holding so much inside of him that moment, he was holding his rage back, his harsh words, I could tell just from the way he breathed fast and noisily. By the corner of my eye, I saw his chest coming up and down franticly, and his fists were clenched, resting on his legs. I strayed my gaze and looked out again. My own heart was beating franticly. My eyes became hot and blurred and silently my tears of regret began to fall down my face. I didn’t even bother to clean it or to disguise it.

The moment the van stopped in front of our hotel was the time I, finally, took my hands to my face and cleaned my eyes. James opened the door and stormed off it. I followed his huge steps almost running. Luckily, it was just the two of us in the elevator and still not a word was pronounced. James ran the key card to open the door of the suite and waited until I got in. I turned to him immediately, ready to speak, but he slammed the door shut so hard, that I shuddered. The door shut making a tremendous noise, the floor under my feet shook, just like my while body, and when his eyes met mine, I felt my knees getting weak.

“I’m sorry.” I blurted with crying voice.

“You fucking lied to me!” He yelled. “You fucking lied to me!”

“I know…” I whispered. There was not much I could tell him to defend myself. “Technically I didn’t lie, I just omitted a fact.”

James smiled. “A fact? Don’t you think you omitted the most important fact in the whole story? Why didn’t you tell me? Uh? Because it was not convenient, wasn’t it?”

“You saw me there! I wasn’t even close. James…” I went to him and rested my hands on his chest. James grabbed both my wrists and pulled my hand down. “I didn’t talk to him nor was I going to. I just went there to see my friends. I have friends in that band, they’re from my college. That was just it. I know it was stupid…”

“Stupid? No…it was childish. Well, stupid too. I am so mad at you Nadia. What am I suppose to think now? How many times are you going to lie to me? How am I suppose to trust you?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” I argued. “It’s ok, you have all the right to be mad at me, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I can keep my friends right? I don’t have to erase them from my life just because I have common friends with him.”

“And do I have to be ok with that? If this was the other way around, would you be ok with that? Would it be alright for me to go out with my friends when my ex was there too? The one you claimed you loved so much?” James was beyond nervous. I had never seen him that way. I looked away from him, I couldn’t answer him that. Of course I wasn’t ok with that. I would give him hell. “What if I had told you I was going out with my friends and then you discovered I was with my friends and my ex?” I still didn’t look at him.

His hand grabbed my jaw and forced me to look. My eyes were flooded again. “Answer me Nadia? I want an answer!”

“No it wouldn’t be ok.” I said. I freed myself and sat on the couch. My shoulders began to shake as I sobbed.

“There’s no need to cry now. You already screwed up:” He lowered himself in front of me. “I cannot trust you when you do things like this.”

“I love you, believe me.” I begged.

“It’s hard to believe it. It’s hard to believe it when you do things like this.”

“I wasn’t going to talk to him. We were going to leave once the show was over, I swear baby. I don’t want anything from him. James please believe me. I made a mistake, I am not saying you’re not right, you are. But please…” My last words choked. I talked in hiccups from the heavy crying.

“You know what I hate the most in all this?” He said. His voice becoming lower. “I hate myself right now because I went there. I had promised myself that I would let you choose, and if you’d chose him, that I’d let you go without a fight, and I went there. I went there to pick you up, to fight, because I can’t let go just like that, just like I thought I could.”

“You don’t have to fight for me. You have me.”

“I don’t know Nadia. I just don’t know. Sometimes I am sure of that, others I am not. You don’t make me feel safe about us and today…” He shook his head and stopped talking. We stayed in silence for a while. James kneeled on the floor, resting his legs and I remained sat on the couch.

“I know what I did today was awful, but please forgive me. There’s a lot I need to learn.” I said breaking the silence.

“I am always so sincere with you. I tell you all the time what I fear and what I don’t like…why? Why always defying me, testing me, my limits?”

“I wasn’t testing anything. I am not defying you. It was just a stupid and naïve move. Like I told you, I just wanted to see my friends, I knew what I was doing was wrong, I felt guilty the whole time!” There he motioned a hand and I stopped talking.

“Guilty? See? You knew you were fucking up, and still…still Nadia you went for it. Think of me damn it!” He yelled. “Think of me when you decide to pull out your stupid decisions. Think about me and how you hurt me.”

“Now you are overreacting a bit.”

“No I am not.” He shook his head. “I am not, I am 100% right. I have all the reasons to tell you to pack your things and go, to call it a day. “James sounded firm, I dropped on my knees in front of him and grabbed his face between my hands.

“Don’t do that. You’re making a mistake.” My tears fell down again. “Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen, I swear!” James got up and didn’t seem touched with my words. I looked up.

“I am going out. I need to breathe some fresh air.” He said. I got up and ran to him, grabbed him from behind to prevent him from leaving.

“Don’t go. Let’s talk.” I begged him. “Please forgive me.”

“I need to go Nadia.” He sounded calm.

“Stay here with me.” I begged again. James turned around. I still held onto his waist and buried my face against his chest. “I love you.” I said.

“You’re the one that should have stayed here with me.” He added.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me…I’ll do anything.” I said, still holding onto to him. He didn’t stray, he didn’t pull away, he let me stay like that, feeling his chest coming up and down against my face as he breathed.

“I just want you to love me properly.” He said. “You might say you love me, and maybe you do, but you don’t make me feel that way.”

“I fucked up things badly today didn’t I ?” I felt his hand running through my hair.

“You did.” He whispered, and I could feel all the hurt carved in each single letter of his answer. “Now let me go.”

“No.” I cried. I rested my chin against his chest and looked in his eyes.

“Please Nadia….let me go….” He said. His voice choked a bit and his eyes were glittering.

“James…” I whispered pleading one last time but he remained firm and slowly my arms began to release him.

“I just need to clear my mind a bit.” He said before closing the door and leave me alone.
Edited by Scorpion Flower, March 19, 2012, 6:41 am.
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
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He will come back and do noughty stuff with her, right?

She should tell him, sometimes I think she has some feeling for this Mark dude :rolleyes:

More :biggrin :heart:
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Tallulah
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Bad Seed
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I don't like her or how she is hurting James. She needs to get her act together.
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Scorpion Flower
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Tallulah
March 19, 2012, 11:07 am
I don't like her or how she is hurting James. She needs to get her act together.
She surely does. :P
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Lilith
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Jaimelicious

I don't like the way he doesn't trust her. I mean, if she is beginning to lie to him it's because she is scared of his overreactions. He is too insecure. Of course she needs to meditate her actions. There was no need to go to a place where her ex played to see her old friends.
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Scorpion Flower
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Alma, she lied because she knew he would never agree with that, and being so young compared to him, she doesn't understand that even seeing her ex from far, and though her intentions were good, she doesn't realized that that wasn't necessary at all. :P

Hold on girls, that's all I am saying. :P Thank you all for the comments you have been leaving.

________________________________________________________________________________

I decided to wait for him awake, even if I didn’t want to, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I cried for hours on the couch, sobbed and choked in my tears. I loved him, but maybe he was right, maybe I wasn’t loving him properly. Maybe I wasn’t loving him the way he deserved. Not for one second I blamed him for my despair, I blamed myself constantly and only myself. I put myself in his shoes and understood that what I was giving him was what Mark had given me during our relationship, and that was nothing. I could tell James a thousand times that I loved him but if I didn’t show him with actions, he would never believe me, just like I never believed Mark when he said it to me.

I walked around in circles for quite some time too, like a wild cat in a cage looking for a way out. The same determination to escape but at the same time the same fear to lose the battle. I couldn’t lose that battle, there was not a way where I could lose that battle. James was the best thing that had happened to me, the purest feeling I’ve ever felt and still the person I was hurting the most. It was true he had his insecurities, but I also concluded that some of his insecurities were caused by me, by my decisions and way of doing things. He was right most of the times.

Sat on the couch again, with no tears at all to fall, eyes irritated, red and swollen, I finally heard the door opening. I jumped right away to look back. He looked calm, serene, quiet even. When door closed he stared at me, there was not rage in his eyes anymore.

“What are you doing still up?” He asked resting the key card on the table.

“I was waiting for you. I was worried in fact, it’s late.” I said.

“Well, I am here, I am fine, you can go to bed now.” Though the hanger was gone, he still sounded cold and unimpressed by my zombie look.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked him, seeing he wasn’t following me. He shook his head.

“No…I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.” He informed me.

“James…” I said his name shocked.

“Don’t say anything or fight my decision Nadia. Not today…today, just leave me be.” I saw him passing by me and entering the bedroom. I followed him and saw James grabbing a pillow and a blanket and then he left, closing the door and leaving me in there alone. Tears came back. Water flooded my eyes, on the verge to fall again. That decision hurt me deeply but I took it and went to bed alone. That was my lesson to learn.

I woke up the next morning with the shower running. The bathroom’s door was slightly opened and I knew it was him in there. I stayed still in bed, waiting for him to get out. Soon he appeared in the room rolled on a towel and raided his suitcases looking for some clothes. He saw me awake, but didn’t greet me, just pretended I wasn’t there. I gave him space. I got up and went to the bathroom for a shower myself. I decided not to cry, not to despair, if he wanted to forgive me he would, eventually.

I met him for breakfast after the freshening bath, dressed in jeans and black tank top. Though he didn’t talk, the minute I sat, he put a plate with mushrooms in front of me. I thanked him shyly and then we began to eat in silence. It was killing me inside but I thought it was better that way.

“What do I have in my agenda today?” He asked breaking the deadly silence.

“I have to check it…” I said getting up, but he grabbed my hand and made me sit again.

“Eat first.” He mumbled. I could tell he was still pissed off. His tone was not aggressive but not tender either. He spoke without looking at my face, he’d stared at some distant point and the conversation was just random questions, not really a conversation flowing.

After checking his agenda, and seeing he was free for the morning, I decided to leave the hotel suite and leave him alone. I thought it was better for both of us not to breathe the same air for a while, both needed to think and calm down.

“I’m going shopping.” I told him. James got up to my surprise.

“I’ll go with you, I just need to make a phone call.” I was surprised but pleased with his decision and nodded.

“I’ll wait for you at the lobby.”

When I pushed the elevator button, his bodyguards joined me. I looked at them confused and with a questioning gaze.

“We have orders to follow you.” Tom said.

“Since when?” I asked astonished. None of them answered. “I am just going to the lobby!”

“Sorry.” Tom said. Both men entered the elevator with me and I raged inside but decided not to make things worse. If I wanted to be alright with him I had to keep my mouth shut.

When we think things can’t get worse, there’s always something to make it worse. As soon as I stepped the lobby, I saw Mark in there, arguing with someone that he knew I was in that hotel.

“Na!” He ran to me as soon as he saw me, but Tom stepped in front of me, preventing him to come near. “I know her!” Mark yelled at the body guard.

I could only think that James would come down at any second and he’d bump with my ex right there. “Mark, go away. Please…” I asked him.

“We need to talk Na.” He insisted.

Tom looked at me but didn’t stray to give Mark access to reach me, and John was on the phone, probably reporting what was happening. My head span a bit in confusion. Mark yelling he needed to talk to me and at the same time Tom blocking him, John still on the phone. Everything was a mess.

“Please Mark, go away. I have enough problems now, go away. We don’t have anything to talk. We’re done and that’s all you need to know.” I said.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I heard James’s thunderous voice. One of his arms pushed me away and the other reached Mark, pushing him too.

“James…” I said putting my body in front of him, but he wasn’t even looking at me.

“Na!” Mark yelled. I looked at him. Both body guards blocking his access to me.

“Stop that!” I yelled going to him.

“Nadia!” James called me in a menacing tone.

“That’s not a way of treating a human being.” I said. James grabbed my arm and we looked in each others eyes. “He just wants to talk to me.” I said speaking in a low tone.

“Don’t go there.” He spoke with the same tone.

“I have to talk to him James. If I don’t, he’ll never leave me alone, so I think it’s better if I do.” His grip in my arm stayed firm. “James…” I whispered waiting for him to free me, because it would be different if he’d free me from freeing my arm by myself. Slowly he opened his hand. “It will be alright.” I said in assurance, but the look in his eyes was deadly. Without saying a word, he got out of the hotel but stayed out in the street.

“So, what do you wanna tell me?” I asked Mark. I saw James watching us from out of the street, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

“Is this what you want for your life? Being escorted with bodyguards?”

“That is none of your business. What do you want? Let’s make this fast Mark.” I shot. I didn’t want to spend much time with him, and even more because my boyfriend was watching me and there was so much hurt mirrored in his face again.

“Is it money Na? Is that why you are with him? Because he can give stuff I can’t?” I laughed.

“You know me much better than that! Of course it’s not about the money!”

“I love you. I miss you so much. Please, reconsider, let’s get back together.” Mark pleaded. I could see sincerity in his gaze but I shook my head in denial.

“I can’t go back. I am in love with another man. I love him Mark! You set me free and I met him. At the beginning it was just about sex, but then I began to realize there were feelings involved. I really do love him, so no…you and I are over.”

Tired of being outside James came back. As he passed by us he mumbled that he would be waiting for me in the suite. Mark watched him going away for a while, then looked back at me.

“Is he a better man than I am?”

I stayed silent for a bit, actually thinking about his question, then I spoke. “I don’t know about being a better man. You’re not a lousy man. But as a boyfriend, I can assure you he is. Mark, you never really cared about me. I was always your second choice, you were always so concerned about yourself. I couldn’t even talk about my problems because you were always so self absorbed with your stuff that you just didn’t care. He’s nothing like that. He cares about me, he likes to hear about me. He’s not afraid to show how he feels. He’s got a wonderful sense of humor. He makes me laugh. He makes me happy in a way you never did. So, I don’t know if he is a better man, but he definitely is a better boyfriend.”

Mark looked hurt with my words, but then he grabbed both my hands in his. “I can also be like that. It hurts too much to know I lost you, I think I’ve learned my lesson.”

I took my hands away. “Mark, I loved you blindly. I loved you with all that I had and some more, but now it’s too late. And I am not saying this to play the hard to get, I am saying this because I found a new love, and what I feel for him is equally strong. I could never let go of him, no way. I don’t want to live without him now. I love him, so please, leave me alone. Live your life, forget that I exist. I want you to be happy, I swear I do, but you have to move on. I moved on.”

“Do you love him more than you loved me?”

“I am willing to do more sacrifices for him than I was ever willing to do for you, maybe it’s because he deserves it more, but I would say that I love him that much. I could sacrifice a lot for him. Hope that answers your question.” I bent over Mark and kissed his cheek. “Now go away. I think things got pretty clear now.” Mark nodded. “Bye.” I said and turned around, I didn’t look back, so I don’t know if Mark stayed there or just left, all I had in mind was to face James upstairs and wondering how he was going to react to my decision.

As I entered the suite James jumped off the couch and we stared at each other silently.

“So?” He asked then. “It was pretty hard for me to see you talking to him.” He added in a low tone, and then looked down at his feet. I approached him.

“Do you want to know how the conversation went?” I asked him. James played with his feet and didn’t answer, nor looked up at me.

“No.” He finally said.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Not now.”

“So, let’s go shopping then?”

James shook his head. “I don’t wanna go. You go.”

“James…” I said in disbelief.

“Take Tom with you, John will stay with me and we’ll meet later at the venue.”

“I don’t think Tom will be necessary anymore.” I argued. “And I bet he won’t have any fun following a woman around the mall while shopping.”

“I want him to go with you.” James insisted and I didn’t fight. I was done fighting with him, so I nodded. “I’d still like you to come with me.” I tried once more.

“I want to stay alone Nadia. We’ll see each later ok?”

“Are you mad at me because I insisted that I should talk to him? Are you punishing me again by denying me your company?” I needed to understand what was in his head that moment.

“I am mad at you because of yesterday. You lied, even if I was going with you, it didn’t mean we were ok. Seeing him here…” He shook his head. “Seeing you talk to him… that’s too much. I need to stay alone and deal with this.”

“Ok.” I whispered. “So, I am going.” I told him reluctantly. When I opened the door, I turned around to look at him again. “Just think that even if I talked to him, I came back to you and still asked you to come with me.” He nodded and I closed the door.
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
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as much as I like James he annoys me here, sending bodyguards with her??? oh c'mon you're papa Het dude, be tough and get dirty with her, have it your way :lol: I'm sure she will be more then happy :lol:
I just hope Mark won't fallow her :rolleyes:
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Tallulah
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They are both acting like rotten children.
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Lilith
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Jaimelicious

Oh, I know that! That's what I was saying, that she lies out of fear from his reactions.

At least she finally was able to talk to Mark directly. I hope he doesn't look for her anymore. James is being so childish in this situation, I'm afraid he's gonna push her away this way.
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Scorpion Flower
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After the mall I went straight to the venue. I had to comply with my duties. In there I was genuinely happy to leave Tom behind, having him following me around the whole morning and part of the afternoon had not been a pleasant experience for me, I wasn’t use to that and it felt incredibly weird.

Lars and Kirk were on the corridor talking and I greeted them, then decided to look for James.

“Have you seen James?” I asked them.

“At the stage.” Lars shouted as I was already walking away.

I went there. James was talking to the sound engineer, so I stayed a bit on the back, but I knew he had acknowledged my presence. Once he was done he came to me.

“How did the shopping go?” He asked, but he didn’t kiss me, I refrained from doing the same.

“It went alright. How are you?”

“I’m good.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I have the interviews in half an hour, you better check on the place to see if everything is ordered.”

I nodded. “Ok, I’ll do that.” My tone was one of disappointment. Instead of wanting to talk, he just bossed me. Not that he was not entitled to do it, after all, I was still working for him, but I expected him to be the boyfriend that moment.

I walked away and went to check on the interviews room, most of the work was already done, the only thing that I had to do was to bring some bottles of water and place them on the table. When I was finishing that, the door opened and I looked back, to find him coming in. James closed the door gently and pulled a chair to sit, then he pulled the one by his side and motioned me to sit. I did so.

We stared. “He wants to go back to you doesn’t he?” He finally asked and deep inside I was glad he was willing to talk after all.

“You already knew that, since that phone call when we were still in Europe.”

James nodded remembering. “Clearly one of your friends told him where you were staying.”

“I know, and I am not happy about that. I know Diana didn’t do it, she’s my best friend, she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“What did you tell him?” He asked and I could feel fear in his words.

“I told him that I want him to be happy, which is sincerely true, but that he needs to move on, because I have already done it.”

“Are you really sure of that?”

“I am really sure. 100% sure.” I affirmed nodding and James got up.

“I think it’s time for the meet n’ greet.” He announced. I was surprised he’d end up the conversation abruptly but I also knew that wasn’t the right place nor the right time. We were always rushing on days like that, the days they had gigs, so I got up to go with him.

We walked in silence for a while but before we entered the place he spoke again. “It was weird to see you with him, talking to him.” He said.

“I know…” I sighed. “Baby, I know…but it had to be done. For him, for us…it had to be done. I am sorry you had to bump into him, that you had to see him that close, I know it must hurt, but he would never leave me alone if I didn’t talk to him and we would never be able to end this subject.”

“I just hope this is really the end of this chapter. I just hope…” With that he began to walk again and we entered a room with 15 star struck fans. The incertitude of his words carved in my heart painfully.

Through the rest of the day there was no caresses or tenderness between us. Conversations were random, even scarce, but I was growing thick skin against that. I was learning that though he was acting cold, it didn’t mean he didn’t have feelings for me, that was just his way to show he was unhappy, discontent and probably still mad. The least, we made little progress, by talking a little bit, and his tone was not cold anymore.

After the show Lars convinced us to go to a club. I knew James hated that, but he accepted Lars’s offer and I also knew he did that for me so I could dance a little, ‘cause he knew I liked that. We shared the van, there was still some distance between James and I, but we were getting there, little by little. When the van parked in front of the club, we all got out. Lars and Connie walked a bit in front of us and I ventured to grab James’s hand in mine, much to my contentment and surprisingly, his fingers wrapped around mine, and that was our first physical contact in almost 24 hours.

Ahead, and already well drank, Lars was being as goofy as he can be. James cracked a laughter and that was also the first time I heard him laugh that day. I didn’t resist and also laughed. I loved Lars’s goofiness, that was a sane part of him. I have learned to love him like an old brother and loved his company and the talks we usually had.

As we entered the club James cringed when he heard the sound of the music and I felt a bit sorry for him and looked at him, ready to leave if he told me he wanted it. He just kept on walking, dragging me with him. Suddenly, he halted and stopped me with him. His eyes fixated on a target, my own eyes followed his and I saw Mark. Mark was there with his friends. One can’t be as unlucky as I was that day.

“Do you wanna leave?” I asked him. I saw James glancing at me and then back at him, I felt him struggling, but then he shook his head.

“Are you sure James? We can go, I don’t mind.”

“We stay. If he comes near you, I swear I punch him.”

“I won’t let you do that!” I exclaimed. “Are you out of your mind? We better leave.” I turned around but his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me back.

“You think I can’t take care of him?” He defied me with a smile on his lips.

“You better think twice. He’s a black belt in martial arts. You better reconsider, you might get your ass kicked.” I replied. James stared at me. “Seriously James, if we’re going to get in trouble I’d rather leave.”

“Motherfucker is already staring at you.” James said with his jaw clenching, staring back at Mark, defiantly, daring. I placed myself in front of him to divert his attention.

“James, look at me.” I called. “If we’re going to stay, act normally, like he’s not here. He’s going to provoke you, that’s what men do, just ignore him, please. If you can’t do that then let’s just leave. Don’t let him get into your nerves. I am with you, we came here to have some fun, promise me it will be that way.”

He bent over me and kissed my lips. Though it felt good, I also knew that was his way to provoke Mark on the highest level, like showing him I was his now.

“I can handle this.” He said. I nodded.

James began to act like a boyfriend. Hands on me, holding me against him, sometimes he kissed me. First I felt like being used to tease, but then it began to feel like he was genuine. Deep inside I knew he wanted to show off his property, but then it was also his fear. I did the same with him, though I didn’t like to shove my new boyfriend in Mark’s face like that, I knew James expected me to reattribute the caresses the same way, and after a while it all came out naturally. We talked to our friends and laughed with them holding hands. On some part it even seemed Mark wasn’t there anymore, not even for me. It was all about James and James only, it only mattered that he was there with me and we were having some fun and bonding again.

“I’m going to get a water. Want something?” I asked in his ear.

“No. I’m alright.” He said.

I went alone and when I was at the counter asking my water, Mark approached me.

“Hi Na.” He said.

“Get out of here.” I hissed. I looked at James and, obviously, he was looking at us.

“Funny thing we met here isn’t it?” Mark continued. I turned my head away from James to look back at Mark.

“What are you trying to do?” My tone was not friendly for sure. “Are you trying to irritate him? To tease him?”

Mark shook his head. “No, I am not. I just want to tell you that you never looked at me the way you look at him, that’s all.” His words caught me by surprise. I looked at James again. “That way…” Mark said. “You never looked at me that way. Bye.” He said and he left as fast as he got there.

“What did he want?” James asked first thing when I got near him.

“Nothing.” I stayed on the tip of my toes and placed a kiss on his lips. “I love you.” I said. “He’s right…I never looked at him the way I look at you.” James stared at me confused.

“I’m tired of being here.” He confessed in my ear.

“We can leave.”

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“I said since the beginning that we could go away.”

We told Lars and Connie that we were leaving. On our way out James held me against him and I stuck my arm around his waist. My boyfriend was back and damn right I was happy with it.

“I want you to know that you were truly a girlfriend tonight.” He said on our way back to the hotel. I didn’t know exactly what he meant, but he it pleased me that he felt that way.

“And you were awesome. I am proud of you. You didn’t yell, you didn’t fight, you acted cool. That’s the way you always have to be.”

“And Nadia, can we skip the clubs sometimes? God…I hate those places.” I snuggled against his chest and giggled.

“Of course we can.” He kissed the top of my head and held me tight.

“Is he really a black belt?”

I laughed again. “Yes he is. Thought I was lying to you?”

“I wasn’t really going to hit him.”

“Even if you were I wouldn’t let you do something like that.” I raised my head and looked in his eyes. “I am so sorry about yesterday. I feel stupid to apologize so many times for so many things I have done, but I don’t do it on purpose. It was stupid…”

“Let’s not talk about that anymore.” He said running a hand over my face.

Once in bed I snuggled against him, his arm surrounded me but it wasn’t with the same strength he used to do it, it felt like a mechanic move. I looked up at him and he was staring at the ceiling and I even felt him distant, deeply lost in his thoughts.

“Is everything alright?” I asked.

“Yeah…” He responded almost absent. I began to spread kisses over his bare chest, preparing him, but his body didn’t respond to my caresses. Then I kissed his neck and bit there gently, then his chin and finally his lips. Gently, he pulled me away.

“I am tired.” He excused himself. My gaze stared at him confused he was denying sex. “I have something to tell you.”

I came back to pillow and turned on my side ready to listen to him. He did the same so we were face to face.

“Today, the call I had to make in the morning, it was to Francesca. I had a missed call from her on my cell.” Hearing her name made my heart race.

“Yes…”

“She’s coming here tomorrow. She says she wants to talk to me. I don’t want you to be caught off guard when you see her tomorrow at the venue ok?”

“She’s coming here?” My fear meter getting high.

“Yes, to talk.” He affirmed.

“You don’t know what the conversation is about?”

“No, I don’t. I just want you to know about it, that’s all.”

I stayed silent. I didn’t like, not even one bit, the idea that she was going there to talk to him, but I couldn’t ask him not to talk to her.

“Ok.” I finally said as letting him know that the message was taken and I dragged my body closer to him again and kissed him. This time he responded to the kiss, our tongues met, intertwined. The kiss was sweet and tender, but when my hands searched for his body, again he pulled me away.

“I am tired, really.” He said.

I tried to believe his words, but something inside was telling me that Francesca going there was shaking him in some way and that wasn’t a good feeling at all. Insecurity meter also raised to a high scale, but my reason told me to go with the flow. I pecked his lips.

“It’s ok. Sleep well then.” I told him. James turned around and turned the light on his nightstand out. The room went dark.

His words rang in my mind over and over again forbidding me to close my eyes and rest. I was haunted by the ghost of a past relationship, and that one was nothing like mine. It concerned a marriage and three kids. I was afraid, even more because of his reaction. I knew there what he felt like when it concerned me, and it wasn’t a good feeling at all. I tasted the same poison and it corrodes you inside.
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
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☠ (R.I.P) † Return Is Possible †
[ * ]
Oh right, Fran now. If a man acts like that he feels something for her :rolleyes:
Don't hurt the girl!!!
Well not too much :P

More :heart:
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Scorpion Flower
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Outlaw Torn
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Some_Kind_Of_Monster
March 21, 2012, 9:17 am
Oh right, Fran now.
I know right! :biggrin She had to come up now...
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Lilith
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Jaimelicious

I'm glad they are a bit better. She certainly has such bad luck, Mark popping everywhere. But at least James could keep his temper. :drool he was hot at the club.

Certainly Fran's visit is disturbing, for both.
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Scorpion Flower
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I woke up early, I could barely sleep, my temples hurt a bit and seeing James was sound asleep I dragged my tired body off the bed carefully not to wake him up. I was in need of an awakening shower. My naked body began to regain life under the warm water and I stayed under the spray hoping it washed away the bad feelings I had, the fear I felt. Then I felt warm arms holding me from behind and somehow a smile formed on my lips.

James pulled me to him and bit my shoulder. He had woken up ready to some fun, I could tell by the way he then kissed my neck. I tilted my head back against his chest while he feasted in it.

“Morning.” He mumbled in between kisses and soft bites.

“Hi.” I breathed while I felt his arms turning me around to him. I obeyed. James bent over me and kissed me eagerly, I felt his already hard member against my belly, he was surely up to it and I was ready to give it to him.

“Why did you leave the bed so early?” He asked patting my wet hair back.

“I needed a shower.” I said. His lips searched for mine again. First he planted soft kisses and then the kiss became more demanding, and my own lips parted to receive his intruding, lustful tongue.

While sharing that kiss, and while our tongues played together teasingly, he took his hands to my waist and began to pull me against the wall. I shivered when my back touched the cold tiles and my body tensed, James held me against him until I could cope with the cold and then tried again. I remained there, against the tiles and his hand reached my intimate parts.

“Oh…” I moaned as his fingers worked on the bundle of nerves. His lips searched for mine once more, and his hands tugged under my butt, pulling me up after. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he entered me easily. The kiss broke and he gasped against my neck when he tilted the end.

Contradicting my thoughts, he didn’t vent and ran to come, instead, his thrusts were slow, his hands tugged on my hips firmly, the tip of his fingers carved on my skin in need. He kissed my collar bone, then my neck and I lowered my face a little so he could kiss my lips. A gasp escaped my throat and he sighed before our lips glued for a quick kiss. James breathed against my lips, his blue gaze locked in mine, then he pecked me again and went lower to kiss the side of my neck, one of my hands tugged on his hair, the other caressed around his shoulder. His teeth caught my ear lobe and he played with it for a while, making me giggle, I strayed.

“Come here.” He told me. “Oh baby…” He groaned a little resting his forehead against mine.

“I love you.” I told him. He didn’t respond, instead he just placed a kiss on my lips. Feeling my pleasure increasing, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. James pace went faster in response, his hips began to pump me harder, he was rushing for his own pleasure as well. The tickling sensation between my legs forming, my lower belly contracting, my legs began to get numb. “Oh…” I moaned feeling my orgasm closer and closer.

James carved his teeth on my shoulder. “Why do you always feel this good? Why?” He growled in my ear, somehow I sensed some frustration in his words, and my pleasure abandoned me that very second. I pulled his face up to look at me and our gaze met, but he was far gone, avoiding my questioning look he kissed me fiercely and it was during that kiss that his body jerked in ecstasy, he thrust lazily until he was done and then he opened his eyes to find mine still waiting for an explanation.

Slowly, he put me down. “What happened Nadia?” He asked, after all it was the first time I didn’t orgasm.

Haunted by the ghost of the ex wife, I didn’t contain my jealousy inside. “Is the visit of your ex wife confusing you?”

“No.”

“Because… I somehow James… I feel you torn… I feel you reluctant, divided, frustrated.”

“I’m sorry, it didn’t come out right.” He told me. He even knew exactly what I was referring to. Our eyes stared for a few moment and mine watered, he took a step closer and cupped my face between his hands and kissed my lips. “I am not confused, I swear. I love you.”

“Something is not right.” I said pulling his hands away, and that was exactly how I felt. For me it felt like, the night before he rejected me and in the morning he felt frustrated because he actually liked to have sex with me, so I assumed he knew what his ex wife wanted to talk to him about and he was feeling divided. It couldn’t get worse than that.

I just wrapped a robe around my body and went to the balcony to have breakfast. I felt deeply hurt so I even avoided to look at him. I was corroding in jealousy, it was true, but I swear something in him was different. When we were done with the breakfast, James grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.

“What can I do or say to make you feel better?” He asked sitting me on his lap and wrapping his arms around my waist. “You’re hurt babe, I can see that in your face, but I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean? It sure felt like you were cursing the fact that you liked to have sex with me. One thing is saying that I feel good, another is saying why do I feel good.”

“Because you make me feel different things. I feel things with you that I don’t remember feeling with any other woman in my life and I have been in love before. I loved my wife in the past, so I know what making love is. With you is insane Nadia…I have this frenzy running inside me every time we get that close, so sometimes I ask myself why? Why is it so different, and it came out like that.” I stayed silent looking in his eyes, he seemed honest.

“You’re not having doubts?”

He shook his head. “No…” He whispered kissing my lips. “I love you sweetie, God…I love you so much.”

“Really?” I asked again. I was feeling so insecure that moment, but when he was going to answer me, the phone rang and he took it.

“Francesca is here.” He said hanging up.

“Here?” I asked surprised and getting off his lap. “You mean, here at the hotel?”

James nodded. “And she’s coming up.”

“Wasn’t she supposed to meet you at the venue?”

“She was. I am as surprised as you are!” James ran a hand through his hair, I felt him nervous. It would be a awkward moment for sure.

“I better get dressed and I am going out. I won’t be locked up in the bedroom while you and your ex wife talk. No way.” I said sounding a bit pissed off. James followed me inside the room.

“Sweetie, calm down, ok? Don’t jump the conclusions. We have a divorce running, so it’s normal that she wants to talk.”

“Right.” I said coldly, then I dialed Diana’s number, and when I was talking to her, James went to open the door. My stomach churned when I heard her calm and even sweet tone talking to him.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down and began to think about what to wear. The bags with my new clothes caught my attention. There was no way I was going to face my boyfriend’s wife dressed with no matter what. If you are a woman, you know exactly what I mean. We want to look gorgeous, and I wasn’t different. I pulled my new push up butt jeans and a black satin top with thin straps and that’s what I put for that day. I also wore a push up bra and looked at my figure on the mirror, I looked fine but to make all that look even better I put on high heels sandals, it looked perfect. I raided my makeup and put on a bit too, then I caught my hair on a pony tail and sprayed some perfume on me. I was ready to leave.

Before I opened the door of the bedroom I had to take another deep breath, my heart was pounding and I felt an enormous lump on my throat, but I had to go out, so I had to open the door and I did so. Two pairs of blue eyes looked at me instantly. James eyes hit my breasts first and then landed on my butt, my mission had been accomplished. Francesca greeted me shyly and her eyes raided me from feet up to my face.

“See you later.” I told James opening the door to leave.

“Wait just a minute.” I heard him telling her and when I was already in front of the elevator he caught me. “Are these new?” He asked pointing at my jeans.

“Bought them yesterday.” I said pretending to sound normal, but inside I was bubbling.

“It looks nice.” He commented looking at my butt again. “Where are you going?”

“To a café in Malibu Beach.” I said.

James cleared his throat, something was bothering him for sure. “You look pretty, very pretty.” He said. I looked at him and smiled.

“You better go, you have someone in there to talk to you and I don’t want to be late.” I stepped inside the elevator the next second.

“You’re not even going to give me a kiss?”

I approached him and kissed him softly but when I was pulling away, his hand got hold of the back of my neck and he kissed me once more. He kissed me deadly, like telling me, don’t forget about this, you’re mine. Then I left.

“So, his wife is there?” Diana exclaimed after I explained the while situation. “Oh Nadia…that must have been awkward!”

“Tell me about it.” I rolled my eyes, then I put my shades on my face as the sun was stinging my eyes. “Most awkward moment of my life.”

“Do you know what she wants?”

“How should I know? He says she wants to talk, but about what? I mean, the tour will be over after tomorrow, so she could have waited until he was back in San Francisco. Did she really have to come here?” I was nervous, unquiet, insecure.

“This is getting into you isn’t it?” Diana grabbed my hand sympathetically.

“Of course it is. I love him Diana!” I said looking down at the ocean, my eyes watered. “Last night he denied sex, I felt him distant you know, then he told me she was coming here today and he didn’t want me to be caught by surprise. But I don’t know…it all looked like this was getting into him in some way.”

“Maybe he was tired or something.”

“He said he was, somehow I also believe that, well…he looked for me this morning and was all pumped up. Sorry I am sharing these details, but then he told me something that left me doubtful again. He says it’s nothing like that but damn…why do I feel something is wrong?”

“Maybe you’re just being paranoid.” Diana laughed. “And jealous, you’re so jealous right now it’s even funny.” She giggled and I began to laugh with her.

“Of course I am jealous too, I am not going to deny it. I even got all this well dressed just to rub it on her face. I feel so stupid….” I slapped my forehead in punishment.

“Look…they have a long story, it’s obvious there are still things to talk, you just have to stay calm and see how he reacts.”

“That’s what scares me the most, their background. Though I feel like he loves me, sometimes I can’t stop feeling that maybe he’s just mesmerized by my youth. It’s so obvious she just didn’t come here to talk about the divorce and it was so obvious that he was shaken by her attitude.”

“What if he’s truly in doubt? What are you going to do?”

I remained silent for a while thinking, then I remembered telling Mark how I could sacrifice for him. “She’s the mother of his kids, someone he loved or maybe still loves in a way, who knows? I don’t know…maybe I would make things simple for him.”

“You’d let him go? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Maybe…” My voice trembled. I didn’t want to let go of him, not at all.

“But Nadia, you love him!”

“Because of that Diana…that’s the reason. Because I love him I could let him go and let him be happy the way he chooses. Besides, if now he becomes doubtful it is because he never loved me in the first place.”

“No…” Diana shook his head. “He can be taken off guard by her, she meant something to him in the past, it’s natural that he thinks about it, it doesn’t mean he’s making up his mind about something.”

“Let go…” I said.

I felt my cell vibrating inside the tight pocket of my jeans. “It’s him.” I informed.

“Hi babe.” He said warmly on the other end, which caused me to smile.

“Hi.”

“Look, can I meet you where you are and then we leave for lunch?”

“Is she gone?”

“Yeah…I wanna have lunch with you and then we go to the venue together.”

“Sure, I am at the beach café, in Paradise Cove.” I explained.

“I’ll meet you in half an hour or so alright?”

“I’ll be waiting.” I told him.

“He’s coming here?” Diana asked when I hung the phone. I nodded. “God…I don’t get used to his presence. Man…he’s the guy of Metallica!” I laughed loud.

“He’s just a guy.” I reinforced. “And a wonderful one.” I added with a smile and still with my heart aching. “He’s so amazing Diana…”

“See…you were all worried and first thing he does when she goes away is to call you to know where you are.”

I took a deep breath and didn’t answer, staring at the ocean again. Diana could think whatever she wanted, I still felt something was not going in the right direction.
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