| Welcome to zetaboards. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Plan H for Hotel; Lars & Kirk want to stay at a posh hotel but James has other ideas. | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: June 14, 2012, 7:44 am (1,158 Views) | |
| The Cosmic Gerbil | June 14, 2012, 7:44 am Post #1 |
|
Forbidden Forest Ranger
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Plan H for Hotel Disclaimer It's all fictional and I don't own Metallica. No harm or offence is meant to Metallica or any of their friends and families Chapter One "It's over, finally!" Kirk stretched his legs out in the passenger seat of Lars' car. "I can't believe we've finally finished recording". "Kirk, that's the hundredth time you've said that today" Lars smirked. "Is not. You're exaggerating!" "Well, it feels like it" said Lars. "You said it when we left the studio, just before we arrived at Mom and Dad's house, to Mom and Dad at least five time, then again when we were leaving..."... "That's only eight times". "And again just now". Lars grinned at Kirk's pout. "I know what you mean though. "It felt like we'd been in the studio for ever". "Yeah. And no touring until September, so we've got most of the summer free". Kirk wound down the window and smiled as a cool breeze gushed in, ruffling his curls. "Just think Lars, a whole six weeks of no studio and doing what ever we want". Lars nodded in agreement. An approaching traffic light turned red and Lars pulled to a halt. The sun beat down on the back of his head and the air was hot and muggy...filled with the scent of car fumes and smoke. He glanced across at Kirk. "Know what I wanna do for our summer break?" "What?" "Go on holiday. I wanna stay at a fancy hotel with a swimming pool and live in luxury for a few weeks". Kirk smiled again. "Yeah, that would be great" he agreed. "Somewhere where every room has a four poster bed, an en suite with a Jacuzzi and a personal bar, with a massive choice of different booze". Kirk raised his eyebrows. "Just one four poster?" he teased Lars. "Of course" said Lars, grinning evilly. "Well, James and Jason could have two but we’d be OK with one, huh Kirk?" Kirk giggled and blushed. Before he could reply, the lights turned green and Lars drove away again. "Thank fuck for that" he said rubbing the back of his neck. "I was cooking there. I wish I was in a colossal swimming pool, right now". "Two pools" said Kirk. "A heated indoor pool and an outdoor one, with slides and stuff". "A heated indoor pool would be just like a Jacuzzi" said Lars. "Our hotel will be so posh, our Jacuzzi will be swimming pool sized". Kirk started laughing and nearly set Lars off too. "I wish we could stay someplace like that" Kirk sighed longingly, once he had got his laughter under control. "Hmm, yeah. I don't see why not though. I mean, we made a fortune on our last tour and when the Black Album starts selling, we'll have plenty of money from that too. I think we could afford, at least a week in a posh hotel". Kirk looked hopefully at Lars. "Do you really think so? Shall we ask James about it?" "Go on with you! We don't need to ASK him...he's not our Mom" Lars smirked. "Well, yes but you know what he's like" said Kirk. Lars stopped at another red traffic light. "I bet James would be just as willing as us to spend some time away from the city. He was getting fed up of being cooped up in the studio too". "Yeah" Kirk mused. An idea suddenly came to him. "Hey, Lars! Why don't we stop off at a travel agents and grab some brochures? We can show them James when he's not drunk or watching TV and persuade him that we need a holiday at a posh hotel". "Good idea" Lars said. ___________________________________ Twenty minutes later, Kirk and Lars arrived back at the Metallimansion, their arms full of travel brochures. They had been discussing various holiday destinations and had become more enthusiastic by the second. "Wow, this one hotel in France has five swimming pools" said Kirk, as Lars opened the front door. "Two heated indoor ones, one which has six water slides. Three are outdoors and one is shaped like an aubergine!" "Yep Kirky, James won't be able to resist swimming in an aubergine shaped pool" said Lars. Before Kirk could figure out if Lars was teasing him or not, James came out from the living room. He had changed into a white t-shirt and cut off jeans and he was holding an ice lolly. "Ha, there you are" he said. "I thought you'd got lost at Torben's place". "How can we get lost? Mom and Dad don't live in a maze" Lars said. "Come into the back garden" said James, ignoring Lars. "I've had this really great idea". Before Kirk or Lars could protest, James took the brochures off Kirk and dumped them on the phone table. "Geez Kirk, are you a newspaper boy or something?" "They're..."...Kirk began but James had already flung an arm round Lars' shoulders and was steering him down the hallway. Kirk followed after them, going into the back yard, where they found Jason. He was sitting on a lounger, eating an orange ice lolly. There were two buckets of ice next to him...one contained lollies and the other, cans of beer. "Beer!" said Lars, grabbing a can and removing the ring pull with a hiss. He flopped down on the lawn, streching his legs out in front of him. James sat on the other lounger and indicated for Kirk to sit next to Lars. "James" Lars began. "We brought some..."... "Yeah, OK, tell me in a minute" said James. "Me and Newkid had this great idea, didn't we Newkid?" He nudged Jason, nearly making him swallow his lolly in one go. While Jason spluttered, James continued. "We were talking about doing something for our summer break. Not staying here but going away for a few weeks". Lars looked at Kirk. Kirk met his gaze hopefully. James grinned at them both. "We thought it's be awesome to go camping!" Edited by The Cosmic Gerbil, June 14, 2012, 7:46 am.
|
![]() |
|
| Lucifer's Angel | June 14, 2012, 8:14 am Post #2 |
![]()
Heavy Metal Seanchai
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Haha, poor Kirk and Lars having to go camping I'm with them, I hate camping and that doesn't sound like fun at all
|
![]() |
|
| Sekhmet49 | June 14, 2012, 9:37 am Post #3 |
|
Some Kind Of Monster
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I'm definitely more for the posh hotel! Poor Lars & Kirk, they're gonna suffer! Will this be slash? Good start anyway! |
![]() |
|
| The Cosmic Gerbil | June 14, 2012, 11:25 am Post #4 |
|
Forbidden Forest Ranger
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Thanks guys Hehehe, I like camping but only if there are loos on the camp site ;) Yep, it is going to be slash...I love slash, lol
|
![]() |
|
| Sekhmet49 | June 14, 2012, 11:56 am Post #5 |
|
Some Kind Of Monster
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Miam!
|
![]() |
|
| I_Disappear | June 14, 2012, 2:26 pm Post #6 |
|
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Solid beginning... can't wait to read more! |
![]() |
|
| Dave's Girl | June 14, 2012, 9:05 pm Post #7 |
![]()
Sanity is entirely overrated...
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Awesome beginning to this! I love it already! The first bit was too funny with Lars and Kirk talking. Although I'm starting to think we shouldn't let Lars by swimming pools after last time! This is going to be an amazing fic and I really can't wait to see more of Jase soon! Please update!
|
![]() |
|
| The Cosmic Gerbil | June 15, 2012, 8:19 am Post #8 |
|
Forbidden Forest Ranger
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Thanks guys Lars is going to be careful by the swimming pools this time He needs a clear head, to outwit James Here is some more ![]() Chapter Two Lars and Kirk looked at each other again, their excitement deflating like a popped balloon. "C-camping?" Kirk said. "Yeah, it'll be really great" James replied. "Leaving the smog of the city for the fresh air of the country. We can hunt and fish and eat what we catch. We can really rough it...it'll toughen us up after the softness of being stuck in the studio for ages". Lars thought about James and Bob having a go at them frequently and didn't think there was anything *soft* about being in the studio. "Uhh, that sounds great and all, James" he said. "But, I was thinking, wouldn't you rather stay at, ehm a nice hotel". "Fuck, NO!" James snorted. "Who the fuck wants to do that? Fancy beds, hot baths...tiny meals cooked by some sissy guy in a white coat..."... "You mean like a doctor?" Jason interrupted. "No dumbass, shut up" James growled. He folded his arms. "Staying at a hotel would suck big time. We do that enough when we're on tour" "But not at a really posh place" Lars tried again. "A posh place would be worse! James Hetfield does not stay in some stupid, fancy-pants hotel!" "OK, OK" Lars said hastily. James' grin returned and he began waxing lyrical about the joys of camping again. "I think we've got an old tent in the loft but we'll need to check it for leaks. We'll have to go and buy some cooking equipment and another tent too. We can do that tomorrow. I'll check the line on my fishing rod, to make sure it's..."... James continued talking. Jason selected another lolly and began sucking on it. Lars felt a small nudge and risked a glance at Kirk. Kirk looked desperate and was wearing a familiar expression. It was the one he had worn when an angry redneck neighbour had mistaken Kirk for his daughter and thought she'd been sleeping with Lars. It was the one he had worn when he woken up after a drunk night and found himself face to face with Dave Mustaine, who was armed with a length of rope, a box of chilli peppers and a set of hair clippers. It said one thing and one thing only... "Lars...DO something!" ________________________ Two soft knocks at his bedroom door. Kirk sat up in bed, instantly alert. He glanced across at Jason but the bassist was fast asleep. Kirk got out of bed as quickly and quietly as possible. Padding over to the door, he opened it a crack and saw Lars peeping at him from the other side. Kirk nodded and left the bedroom, closing the door softly behind him. He and Lars snuck into the living room. Only when they had closed that door and sat down on the settee, did they speak. "Was James asleep?" Kirk whispered. "No, he was wide awake and asked me where I was going, so I said I was going round to Dave's place for a threesome with him and Junior" Lars snorted. "Of course he was, Kirk". "Sorry" said Kirk and he let out a small giggle. "Shush" ordered Lars, though by the tone of his voice, it sounded like he was about to laugh too. "Sorry Lars. It's just, this feels so...naughty". "Let's take off our pajamas and start making out. Then it'll feel even naughtier" Lars snickered. Kirk blushed (or at least Lars thought he did...it was hard to tell in the near darkness of the living room). "OK, so what's the plan?" Kirk asked, once his giggles were under control again. "I'm not sure yet" Lars admitted. "But it has a name. Cos all good plans need a name". "Cool. What is it called?" "Plan H for Hotel". Kirk nodded eagerly. "Cos if it succeeds, a hotel is where we will spend our summer". Edited by The Cosmic Gerbil, June 17, 2012, 2:26 pm.
|
![]() |
|
| Lucifer's Angel | June 15, 2012, 9:15 am Post #9 |
![]()
Heavy Metal Seanchai
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I hope Lars' plan works, I like any idea Lars has And I had to LOL when I read about the redneck neighbor mistaking Kirk for Lars and Dave armed with hair clippers and chili peppers James is so single-minded and macho with the camping, this is going to be awesome
|
![]() |
|
| The Cosmic Gerbil | June 15, 2012, 9:35 am Post #10 |
|
Forbidden Forest Ranger
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Heheheh, thanks I thought after writing my last, more serious story, it was time for a funny one
|
![]() |
|
| Dave's Girl | June 15, 2012, 5:38 pm Post #11 |
![]()
Sanity is entirely overrated...
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Oh my god, I am just LOVING this fic! Hehe, good thing Lars is gonna be more careful by the swimming pools from now on! I love how Lars and Kirk want to stay at a nice hotel and James thinks the idea is repulsive. xD Poor Jase is getting picked on already...he needs a hug! I'm just loving the banter between Lars and Kirk; too funny! I think my favorite part was when Lars was being sarcastic about the threesome with Dave and Junior. Update soon please!
|
![]() |
|
| I_Disappear | June 15, 2012, 5:40 pm Post #12 |
|
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
This is getting good. Can't wait to see what kind of plan they come up with
|
![]() |
|
| The Cosmic Gerbil | June 17, 2012, 2:25 pm Post #13 |
|
Forbidden Forest Ranger
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Thanks guys, I am glad you are enjoying the story Hehehe, Jase will be getting hugs and more soon Here is a quick chapter. It is just Kirk and Lars planning a little bit (and being daft) Chapter Three "Right" said Lars, assuming a businesslike expression. "So, let's think. We need to put James off going camping. How are we gonna do that?" The two guys thought hard. After about five minutes, Kirk spoke. "Remember how James said earlier about a tent in the loft? We could sneak up there, get the tent and hide it somewhere". "Hmm, that sounds pretty lame, sorry Kirk" said Lars. "James'll just turn the place upside down looking for it. Plus, he'll make US look for it too". "Well, how about we take it away somewhere? Like the city dump?" "James would know". "How would he? He won't know unless we tell him". "Trust me, he will". Lars nodded. "He'll stare at us with his laser blue eyes, looking into our minds and seeing our felony as clear as crystal". Kirk looked at the drummer uncertainly. "Lars, are you drunk or stoned?" "Anyway", Lars continued, ignoring Kirk. "If the tent went missing, James would just buy a new one". "Humph" said Kirk, folding his arms. "Well, you think of something then". "I'm trying" said Lars. The lads thought again. Kirk wound a curl round and round his finger. Lars fiddled with the buttons on his pyjamas. They came up with various ideas but none were really good. "What if one of us pretended to be sick? We could say we were too ill to go camping?" "Nah, that wouldn't work. James would say the fresh air would make us better and still insist on going". "What if, before we go camping, one of us hires a bear costume from a fancy dress shop. Then on the first night camping, one of us dresses up as a bear and tries to scare James?" "Ha, that's really dumb! James would get his gun out and fucking shoot us". "What if, we hide our *own* tent on the first night, roll around in the mud a bit and when James wakes up the next morning, tell him that we were mugged and the crooks stole our tent?" This was from Lars. Kirk sighed and shook his head. "I think we're just getting desperate now". "We could fight each other, to make it look more realistic?" Lars continued. "I'll let you black my eye if you promise to keep me in beer for the rest of our holiday". "Lars!" Kirk cried. "I don't want..."...suddenly he went quite. Lars opened his mouth again but Kirk put his hand over it. "Shhhh...I can hear somebody moving about". Lars stood up and tiptoed over to the door, quiet as a mouse. He pressed his eye against the gap between the door and the jamb. "It's Jase" he whispered. "He's going to the bathroom". Kirk joined Lars at the door. "Uh oh. I guess we better get back to bed then. If he notices I'm not there, he'll get suspicious". Lars opened the door quietly and he and Kirk went back to their bedrooms. Just as Kirk was about to go in, Lars pulled at his sleeve. "If Jase noticed you weren't there and asks where you were, tell him you'd snuck into my room and we were making love". Kirk gasped but before he could reply, Lars had vanished into his own bedroom, giggling softly. Edited by The Cosmic Gerbil, June 17, 2012, 2:27 pm.
|
![]() |
|
| Lucifer's Angel | June 17, 2012, 3:52 pm Post #14 |
![]()
Heavy Metal Seanchai
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Those plans sound ridiculous, I can totally imagine James shooting at a bear costume thinking it was real They got to have better ideas than that
|
![]() |
|
| I_Disappear | June 17, 2012, 3:53 pm Post #15 |
|
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
These two are just too cute together!! Can't help but smile at their antics!! Hope their plan works
|
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Inactive Metallica Fan Fictions · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2





![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)




I'm with them, I hate camping and that doesn't sound like fun at all
Hehehe, I like camping but only if there are loos on the camp site ;) Yep, it is going to be slash...I love slash, lol
Miam!

Here is some more 
They got to have better ideas than that 
8:49 PM Jul 10