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Father of the Year; Kirk is going to get even with Lars. Het.
Topic Started: July 3, 2007, 9:40 pm (14,632 Views)
MissMetallica;;
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Poor Twisted Me
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firstly id like to say that this is really turning into a very eventful little story. :) and the chase across the world begins!

kirk "breaking his knee" was one of the cutest things, even if he did hurt himself. :lol: i could just picture him lying the middle of a busy airport terminal clutching his knee and crying. aww

"The flight dude" i love how you call them that. i dont even know what the fuckers are called in the first place so i applaude your improvisation. :lol:

it will be interesting to see lars' reaction to hearing that kirk, james and emily are going to be flying to san fransisco after cliff and cecily. he will SURELY be mad and probably end up getting money of torben and flying over there aswell.. IN FIRST CLASS OF COURSE :lol:

the end was sweet, cliffy would be such a good father :)
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Shayi
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Bring me that horizon
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Wow what a pair of episodes there! I love it when you get inspired and start writing large amounts of updates :)

Poor little Kirk hurting his knee - but James' reaction made me snigger 'godforsaken pussy'. I am going to have to use that one day if/when I have a legitimate opportunity.

I'm actually quite impressed (in a rather exasperated kind of way) with how James can think with his dick at any time. Even when they've managed to lose his girlfriend's daughter... that is quite a talent - although at least he's helping out with going to get her back! Yeah James, charge everything to the company ;) At least Lars and Flemming will be thousands of miles away! (And yeah I'm lookin' forward to seeing what Lars thinks of the whole thing!)

I loved the interaction between Lars and his father - Torben unbending at the thought of a granddaughter (bless the ol' chap for buying her a tennis racket, even if he doesn't know her name!).

I'm glad that Cliff came round to the idea of Cecily being on the plane with him, and he gave up his window seat - good good....

I can't wait to see what happens next, this story has me totally riveted! (And tomorrows is the last episode I get for a fortnight, I'm off on holiday!) I don't know what I'm gonna do without this one to keep me entertained... it's become a little morning ritual to read this!





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Verity
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The Story Girl
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I'm doing a fake!!!!! I know I suck. :lol:


Kristen: I don't know what those flight fuckers are called either. All I know is that they bitch at me when I don't have my boarding pass out of the envelope thingy.
And poor Kirky. Your signature actually helps with my inspiration on the Kirk character. I see his little happy, curly haired, face holding his skateboard or whatever it is, and I'm like awwwwwwwww.

Rae- Yeah poor Cecily. She will certainly be a well traveled little fucker after all of this. I'm glad that you don't mind this story going on into the United States.

Shayi- I'm going to miss and your pirate fiction. :( Plus, I'll lose one of my 3 faithful commenters. I hope you have fun though!!! :)
I'm glad you like it when I get inspired. We just need to keep me full of good booze and diet coke, and the updates will keep coming.


Nah, actually I was up really really late last night, and I have another update half written. But I must go bid thee aideau and go lock myself up in the bathroom and go practice for the next 3 hours straight. :)
maybe I'll get some writing time in later this afternoon. :)
I'm still feeling inspired.
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Shayi
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Bring me that horizon
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That's it missy - you're up on a 'too many fake outs charge'....

*G* Nah glad you're feeling inspired! And I'll be back at the end of August to catch up with this fic.... and I'll be writing pirates while I'm away :)
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Chapter 48- One More Day


“Where the fock is everybody?” demanded a very testy Lars. “This album is never going to get finished because James is too busy porking Claudia, Kirk’s off sucking his dick somewhere, and Cliff is, well, you know.”

“Fired?” Flemming finished for him. “Lars, I don’t think that firing Burton was a good move. If you were having conflicts with him you should have waited until after the album was recorded.”

“He did a terrible thing to me,” whined Lars. “He might as well of shoved a bayonet right into guts and disemboweled me.”

“That sounds like it would hurt,” said Yann, who was sitting in the corner trying to figure out how to tune his bass.

Yann, Lars, and Flemming, had been waiting for Kirk and James at Sweet Silence Studios for over three hours. Progress on their album had stagnated. They needed the other two band members. Yann needed Kirk to help tune up his bass. Meanwhile, paid for studio time was being pissed away by the minute.

Just then, the door to the studio opened. Lars and Yann jumped up at once.

“James!” Lars cried.

“Oh! It’s you Lars,” said a very surprised Claudia.

“What the fock are you doing here?” Lars snarled.

“I was looking for James,” Claudia replied. She gave Yann who was ogling her as if he had never seen a woman before, one of her flirtatious smiles.

“Isn’t he with you?” Lars grumbled. He lit himself a cigarette.

“I haven’t seen him all day,” said Claudia. “I figured that he was over here working for a change. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen my Cecily around either.”

“That brat is no longer my concern,” snapped Lars. He blew out a long trail of smoke. “Don’t count on getting any child support checks from me either. She’s not mine.”

“Oh fuck you Lars, you disgusting fool,” Claudia muttered. “Cecily is better off without you anyway. I assume she’s probably off with Cliff somewhere.” (that’s sure putting it lightly)

“Cliff’s no longer in the band,” Lars said with pride. “I threw him on a boat back to the U.S. steerage, but I think his rich dippy aunt put him on a flight back home instead.”

“Well then, if Cecily isn’t with Cliff, where is she?” Claudia wondered aloud. Damn, she thought. There went my free babysitter.

“It’s not my day to watch her,” shrugged Lars. “I can’t keep track of James and Kirk, let alone your brat. They were parading around the hotel earlier with that slut from the milliner’s shop.”

“Was James with her?” Claudia asked.

Lars nodded. Claudia frowned. Something seemed fishy. Was James going behind her back with that Emily girl? Claudia couldn’t believe it. That girl was merely a silly child! What on earth could he see in her? Claudia forgot about the missing Cecily at once.

“Was James acting at all “close” to Emily?” Claudia asked.

“Oh come on Claudia,” snarled Lars. “Boys will be boys. He’s focking her brains out. They’re probably off focking right now, which is why our album isn’t getting finished.”

Claudia fell down onto the beat up recording studio couch. “That no good slut!” she cried.

“Well that sure is the pot calling the kettle black,” mused Lars.

“I am not going to let some young, perky, saccharine assed, seamstress, take away my man!” declared Claudia. “I thought she had a thing for Cliff.”

“Het is better in the sack,” replied Lars as he opened up a pack of chewing gum. He offered some to Claudia. “Want a piece?” he asked.

Wearily, Claudia took a stick of gum, and popped it into her mouth.

“You know, that’s how we met,” she said. “We were on the train. You offered me a stick of gum.”

“I guess I did,” said Lars. “I was trying to be a gentleman.”

“No,” said Claudia. “You offered it to me because you said that you thought that I was pretty.”

Lars grumbled and looked away.

“Whatever happened to us Lars?” Claudia asked suddenly.

“I went back to the United States,” Lars replied with a shrug. “End of story. We were summer fock buddies. I’m just glad that I wasn’t the one who impregnated you.”

“I should have put Cecily up for adoption,” Claudia said, looking past Lars, into the distance. “Living in a hotel room by herself while I work all of the time isn’t a happy life for a little girl.”

“Since when is focking James all day long work?” Lars scoffed.

“Easy for you to say,” shot Claudia. “You get to go out and have a good time without worry. You aren’t saddled down with the kid at home.”

“She’s not my kid to worry about,” Lars gloated once again.

Tears began to well up in Claudia’s eyes. Lars suddenly felt very bad for what he had said to her. Claudia was a whore, but so was he. So was James. So were Kirk and Cliff. This could have happened to any one of them. Lars was just lucky to be spared this time.

“You want to go to the hotel bar and grab a quick drink?” Lars asked, without even thinking that this was Claudia, the psycho bitch.

Claudia never turned down freeze booze, especially when it was from a guy. She nodded through tears.

“Cecily is going to grow up hating me,” Claudia rambled as they traipsed across the street, back to the hotel. “She’s sweet right now, but the day will come when she’ll turn fourteen and she’ll hate her mum. I can’t give her the things that most little girls have. I can’t buy her a bunch of trendy, new, clothes, or take her on trips. Shit, I can’t even give her a father…”



***

Cliff sat as still as could be, careful not to disrupt Cecily, who was sleeping, and using him as a pillow. She had had quite a few bad coughing spasms while on the flight. Flying halfway around the world was the last thing that a girl recovering from the deadly fever needed. Eventually, she had fallen asleep. Cliff was sure that with the drastic time change, when she woke, she would be one cranky little fucker.

He couldn’t help but feel a small welt of pride form deep down inside of him. Cecily had missed him so much that she had went all the way to the airport and somehow snuck herself onto the plane, just to be with him. It was loyalty, it was love. She had balls, especially for a five-year-old, and he certainly admired that. He gently petted the sleeping girl’s long hair.

“Cecily, Cecily,” he sighed quietly. “What in the hell am I going to do with you?”

She’s probably right about Claudia, he thought. Dumb slut probably doesn’t even know that her daughter is gone yet. It would be pretty badass if Aunt Josephine and I could keep her. She could stay with me when I’m home, and then when I’m off touring, Aunt Josephine would probably love to have her. She would just love to have a little girl to do girly shit with all day long. I know that Cecily would get along beautifully with her, and she’d love her horses.
It would just never work out though. Since Lars isn’t even Cecily’s father, she’s not even my goddaughter anymore! She’s totally no relation to me at all now. She’s just some random kid off of the street who happens to like the Misfits. And, I just don’t see Claudia being down with her daughter living so far away. Uprooting Cecily to a foreign country probably wouldn’t be the best thing for the little girl anyway. It’s selfish to make her live over here with me or Aunt Josephine. Plus, it would probably kill any chance of me getting any future puss. No chick wants a guy with a daughter, especially a daughter that isn’t even his own. Though I can’t help but wonder how the name Cecily Burton would sound.


Cliff was jarred out of his thoughts by the pilot coming over the loudspeaker to announce their descent into the San Francisco area.

Gently, Cliff nudged the sleeping Cecily. “Cess,” he hissed. “Wake up. We’re landing.”

Cecily grumbled as she sat up, her hair hanging all tussled in her face. “Oh Mr. Cliff,” she sighed. “I had the most wonderful dream about you and Miss Emily.”

“Keep it to yourself,” Cliff said curtly. “I don’t need to hear anymore psycho gibberish about me and Miss Emily. Now get a good look at San Francisco as we land. It’s the last that you’ll be seeing of it. You’re going to go straight back to Denmark.”

“But you said that I could stay,” Cecily protested.

“No, I said that we’d work something out,” said Cliff. “That means that I’m going to put you on the next plane back to Copenhagen.” He smiled at Cecily, and gave her a quick squeeze.

“Don’t you want a daughter Mr. Burton?” Cecily asked. “You can’t seem to be able to get yourself laid, so that you can have your own daughter, so why not just take me instead? We’d have so much fun together. Just think, when I get older you can even teach me how to drive.”

“Trust me, you wouldn’t want me teaching you how to drive,” Cliff replied, slightly amused. “Cecily, it’s not that I don’t want you to stay with me, it’s that you can’t. Your mother could technically get me for kidnapping right now. You don’t belong to me. I wish that you did, but you don’t. Since Lars isn’t your dad, you’re not even my goddaughter anymore. We have no relation, and that’s not going to fly when your mother goes to police trying to find you. Do you understand?”

Cecily studied the landscape of mountains and water as the plane descended lower and lower. “Yes sir,” she muttered with a heavy heart.

“That’s my girl,” said Cliff. “I don’t want to have to say goodbye to you either Cess, but we knew that it was coming. Even if your dad- oops I mean Lars, hadn’t of fired me, I still would be leaving Copenhagen after recording the album, and we would have to part.”

“Will you write to me Mr. Cliff?” Cecily asked.

“Absolutely,” Cliff nodded. “You and Mr. Kirk both.”

“I’ll try and write to you,” Cecily mumbled. “Even if my grammar is bad. I won’t even have Mr. Kirk around to help me with it. Mr. Cliff, what’s wrong? What’s that on your face? Are you crying?”

Cliff indeed had shed a small tear out of the corner of his eye. He wiped it away. “No,” he answered. “It’s just a pimple.”

It was just about dinner time in San Francisco when they landed. Cliff supposed that they would have another flight going back to Copenhagen very soon, that very evening. If he was lucky, he’d have just enough time to buy Cecily a quick dinner at the airport, and say goodbye to her. Cliff gathered his coat, duffel bag, and bass.

“Want to carry my bass Cecily?” he asked. Cecily nodded. She carried Cliff’s bass through the airport as if the bass had belonged to the Queen of England herself. Cliff marched right up to the ticket counter.

“Her,” he pointed over to Cecily. “Needs to go straight back to Denmark. What do you have in the way of nonstop flights to Copenhagen?”

“We don’t have any non stops going out until tomorrow evening,” the American flight dude replied. “I can put her on a flight that makes three stops.”

“She’s a fucking five year old!” Cliff spat. “She can’t be making her way through airports by herself, finding connecting flights and shit.”

“Aren’t you traveling with her?” asked the American flight dude.

Cliff lit a cigarette, and blew a thick cloud of smoke in the flight dude’s face.

“Fuck no,” he replied.

“Well Mr. Burton, we most certainly are not going to charter a private jet to Copenhagen just for your daughter, because you are to fucking lazy to travel with her,” snapped the American flight dude. “If it means that much to you that she go on a nonstop, you’ll have to wait until the seven o’clock tomorrow evening flight.”

“Fuck you!” Cliff spat. “I fucking hate this fucking airport! You’re all crooked if you ask me! Fuck you!”

Cliff threw his cigarette out and grabbed Cecily by the hand/

“Come on Cecily,” he snarled.

“Am I going to Copenhagen now?” Cecily asked.

“No,” Cliff answered.

“Then where are we going?” Cecily asked.

“To the baggage claim,” Cliff answered.

“But I don’t have any baggage,” Cecily argued.

“No, but you are baggage,” Cliff retorted as they hopped onto the escalator.

“Does this mean that I’m staying in San Francisco?” Cecily asked, her face brightening.

“For the night yes,” Cliff told her.

“Hoorah! Oh Mr. Cliff! Thank you! Thank you so much!” Cecily jumped into Cliff’s arms, almost knocking him over.

“Hey,” Cliff reminded her. “You’re only staying for the night. You leave to go back to your mom tomorrow evening. You’ll have to give her a call from Aunt Josephine’s, so that she knows where the fuck you are for the night.”

“Why?” asked Cecily. “She never lets me know where she goes at night.”

“Cecily,” Cliff scolded. “For the next twenty-four hours, and the next twenty-four hours only, I’m your father, and you have to do whatever I say. I say that you are calling your mother.”

“Yes sir,” said Cecily.

“And I’m probably going to be the one paying for the long distance international call too, which blows,” Cliff went on. “I can’t make Aunt Josephine pay for it. I’ve cost that woman enough money. Come along now Cecily. Aunt Josephine’s driver will be waiting for us, and I’m starving. I want dinner.”

Even if it was only for just one day, it was still another day with Mr. Cliff. Not only was it one more day with Mr. Cliff, but it was also one more day with Mr. Cliff in San Francisco. Cecily was just bursting with excitement. She had never been anywhere before, and certainly she had never been to another country. Why, there wasn’t even any snow on the ground, and it was late November!

Cecily vowed to make her last day with Cliff one that she would never forget…
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Raedoll
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Poor Twisted Me
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I love Cecily so much. How she can just make Cliff bend and buckle to her little will in certain ways. I like how she's going to have to actually GO to Frisco and Meet Aunt Josephine so that she can get attatched and loved on and possibly stay in Frisco with Cliff. What if Claudia actually LIKES the idea that Cliff could take care of Cecily in a totally different country so far away?! I can't wait for mooore!
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Okay, I did another update. I badly pinched a nerve in my neck and there's only one halfway comfortable position for me with a hot water bottle stuffed on my shoulder. I was bored sitting there, so I churned out this chapter. I will admit that it is kind of weak and lame. I'm not just saying that either. It's kind of sucky, and I'm sorry. It did get kind of long too.

and I'm sorry that I gave Aunt Josephine's servants stupid names.



Chapter 49- The Bay of Shining Waters

Lars Ulrich had to admit that after three bottles of wine, Claudia looked very attractive. It was half off wine night at the hotel bar, and it didn’t take long for the dynamic duo to make their way through three entire bottles. Claudia pissed and moaned about being a shitty mother for the entire time.

“You’re not a shitty mother,” Lars reassured her for the umpteenth time.

“It’s two o’clock in the morning, and I don’t even know where my daughter is,” Claudia pointed out. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

“Maybe Cliff hasn’t left the country yet, and she’s off sucking his dick somewhere,” Lars suggested. He was trying to be funny, but the drunk and morose feeling Claudia wasn’t digging the joke.

“Cliff,” she muttered as she fumbled for a cigarette.

“What about him?” asked Lars as he provided a lighter for her to use.

“I should have gotten involved with him instead of James,” Claudia sighed.

Lars spit out the wine that he was drinking from laughter.

“You’re focking kidding me right?” he cackled. “Trust me, James Hetfield was put on God’s green earth to do two things that he’s extremely good at: guitar and sex. He’s a virtuoso of the mattress. Ole Het can perform sex acts that Burton can only dream about.”

“It’s not always about sex Lars!” demanded Claudia as she polished off another glass of wine. “Cliff has been good to my daughter. I never thanked him for it either.”

“He doesn’t deserve it,” replied Lars. “He flat out lied to your daughter about her father remember?”

“I know, but compared to all of the other men who have been around Cecily, Cliff is a saint,” said Claudia. “No other guy has ever given her the time of day. He spent time with her, he told her stories, and she fucking adores the ground that he walks on. Did you know that she actually fished one of his cigarette butts out of the trash and saved it just because it had belonged to Cliff?”

“That’s just sick,” muttered Lars. “That girl needs serious help.”

“No,” said Claudia. “She needs a father.”

The two were silent as they gazed at their nearly empty bottle of wine, and the hazy smoke of the cigarettes.

“I’m going to get a bottle to take back to the room with me,” Lars announced. “You want anything Claudia?”

Claudia just shook her head. “I have to work early tomorrow. I best get going.” Claudia got up from her bar stool and stumbled from being so drunk. “Shit,” she muttered.

“Careful there,” said Lars as he paid for his wine.

Claudia began to stagger out of the bar. She had had way too fucking much to drink. She stumbled again, this time falling down onto the floor.

“Crazy Claudia is wasted again,” observed the bartender. He looked over at Lars. “Can you help her get back to her room?”

Lars really didn’t want to have to drag the obliterated Claudia all the way back to her room. What if James saw them together? James was already pissed enough at him for firing Cliff. What if that little brat who had kicked him earlier was there?

“Lars,” Claudia groaned as she clumsily tried to stand back up. “I need help Lars.”

With a sigh, Lars went over and helped a wobbly Claudia up to her feet. “Put your arm around my shoulder,” he commanded to her.

Claudia draped a flimsy arm around Lars’s neck. She could smell her cheap ass perfume. It was a cheap, musky, scent, but it reminded him of sex, and that was always a good thing to be reminded of.

“After seeing me like this, you must think that I’m a horrible skank Lars,” Claudia moaned once he had gotten her into the elevator.

“I’ve always thought that you were a horrible skank,” Lars replied. Claudia reeked of booze and that cheap perfume. For some reason, Lars had always found that cheap perfume smell comforting.

Lars helped Claudia down the hall to her room. Claudia fumbled with her key. She was so drunk that she couldn’t even get the key in the lock, so Lars had to do it for her. Cecily was nowhere to be found inside the room.

“Cecily must be with Cliff,” Claudia announced in slurred speech. “I’m glad that she doesn’t have to see me this way. She gets scared when I come home drunk. Cliff is always so good to my daughter.” Claudia floated down onto the bed. She immediately pulled off her blouse and sweater, revealing a dishy black satin bra underneath. Lars couldn’t help but stare at Claudia’s assets.

“Do you want me to try and find Cecily for you?” he asked.

“Oh no,” replied Claudia as she shimmied out of her jeans. “She’s probably with Cliff. I trust Cliff.”

Lars watched (rather enjoying the underwear clad) Claudia as she undressed. “Lars,” she said. “Can you help me unhook my bra? I can’t get it.”

Lars’s heart thudded as he made his way over to her. The cheap perfume was now overwhelming his entire senses, it was the familiar smell of women and sex. He easily undid Claudia’s bra, and watched it as it drifted to the ground like a rose pedal leisurely strolling its way down to a lily pad.

“You really are just too good for me Lars,” Claudia moaned.

“Nah,” Lars grunted as he tried to not look so obvious gawking at Claudia’s naked breasts. Claudia slithered down into the bed.

“Ugh,” she groaned. “I’m going to be so sick tomorrow.”

“More than likely, you’ll be sick tonight,” said Lars. “You might need this.” He brought the trashcan over to Claudia’s bed. “It’s probably a good thing that your brat- I mean Cecily, isn’t here. Goodnight Claudia.” Lars picked up his bottle of wine, and turned to leave. He looked back to get one last look at Claudia’s totally kick-ass and stellar naked bod.

“Lars,” Claudia moaned.

“Yes Claudia,” said Lars.

“Do you think that maybe you could uh, uh, kind of stay with me through the night?”

Lars dropped his bottle of wine, and undid the snap and zipper of his jeans. He wiggled out of them, and was in the bed next to Claudia in a heartbeat.

“Damn woman,” he declared. “I thought that you’d never ask!”

***

“Wow,” Cecily gasped as she peered out the car window. “I feel as if I’ve just stepped through the pearly gates.”

“Oh honestly Cecily, it’s just San Francisco,” Cliff snapped.

“And it’s the most beautiful place in the world,” Cecily replied. “Is it usually this sunny?”

“We get rain just like everyone else,” Cliff told her.

They were on their way to Aunt Josephine’s glorious vineyard up in the Napa Wine Valley.

“Mistress Josephine will certainly be surprised,” perked up Barnabas the driver. “She certainly wasn’t expecting you to have a daughter Cliff.”

“She’s not my daughter,” Cliff returned innocently.

Barnabas glanced at Cecily through the rearview mirror. His eyes went wide.

“By Jove Cliff!” he exclaimed. “I knew that you liked them young, but a five-year-old?”

“Fuck you Barnabas you pervert!” Cliff squawked. “Jesus, people are sick! She’s my like adopted daughter.” Cliff felt Cecily tug on his arm.

“Mr. Cliff,” she said excitedly as she pointed out the window. “What’s that body of water called?”

“It’s the bay Cecily,” answered Cliff as he took out a cigarette.

“But certainly it has a name though?” Cecily went on.

“It’s the San Francisco Bay,” said Barnabas. “Isn’t it nice?”

“Nice isn’t even a grand enough word to describe it,” gushed Cecily. “The San Francisco Bay isn’t a good enough name for it either.”

“Why the hell not?” scoffed Cliff as he flicked his cigarette ashes out the car window. “It’s in San Francisco.”

“It’s not special enough,” Cecily replied thoughtfully. “If it were up to me, I’d call it the Bay of Shining Waters.”

“You didn’t give her any weed Cliff, did you?” Barnabas asked.

“Hey what can I say,” Cliff laughed as he rumpled Cecily’s already pretty messy hair. “She’s my girl. She’s just naturally high.”

If Cecily thought that San Francisco was breathtaking, she was really in for a surprise when Barnabas pulled up in front of Aunt Josephine’s gorgeous Mediterranean style villa.

“Holy shit,” Cecily breathed. “It’s even more gorgeous than in my dreams.”

“Don’t say shit Cecily, you are not a truck stop waitress,” Cliff scolded as he put on his sunglasses. “It is a pretty fucking sweet crib though.”

Cecily stood in the driveway entranced by Aunt Josephine’s villa. It even had palm trees. They didn’t have palm trees in Copenhagen.

“Aunt Jooooooooooooosephine!” Cliff bellowed as he grabbed his suitcase and bass and made his way up the front steps.

An attractive older lady who looked to be in her early sixties, came flying out the front door. She wore a lavender tunic adorned with lots of shimmery, silvery, jewelry, and her long silvery hair was worn down loose and wild.

“It’s Cliff!” she yelped. “Cliff! My favorite and most expensive nephew!”

“Real funny,” Cliff laughed as he set his shit down, and threw his arms around his aunt.

Cecily immediately felt very small and shy. She lingered unseen behind the car. What if Aunt Josephine didn’t like her? What if Aunt Josephine hated her, and wouldn’t even let her spend the night? She wanted so much for Aunt Josephine to like her.

“Let me get a good look at you Clifford,” said Aunt Josephine as she held her nephew at arms length. “Your Mother will be pleased,” she observed. “You’ve been eating very well indeed. It looks as if Kirk Lee has been keeping his promise.”

“It’s all of that salty room service shit that he’s been stuffing me with,” Cliff laughed, however his face saddened at the thought of Kirk, his old friend. “I suppose my Mum won’t be pleased when she finds out that I’ve been fired,” he murmured sourly.

“Let’s not talk about that right now,” said Aunt Josephine. “Brunhilda the cook has prepared your favorite meal of steak enchiladas, and chimichangas with her array of dipping sauces. I’ve got some really fine grade pot in from El Salvador, and Barnabas smuggled in a new shipment of some absinthe just for your visit,” she added with a whisper. “We can have some of it later tonight when you explain to me just why Lars fired you.”

“Oh Aunt Josephine,” Cliff sighed. “It’s so good to be home.”

“And it’s good to have my favorite nephew back to smoke pot, ride horses, drink absinthe, and watch Miami Vice with,” returned Aunt Josephine happily. She turned to go back inside the house, but Cliff grabbed her arm.

“Aunt Josephine,” he began. “There’s someone here that I’d like you to meet.”

“Clifford!” Aunt Josephine gasped. “Did you bring a girl home?”

“Well yeah, she is a girl,” Cliff replied. “But it’s not what you’d think.”

He turned towards Cecily, who was still hiding behind the car. “Hey Cess!” he bellowed. “Get your ass over here, and meet my aunt!”

Timidly, Cecily made her way over to the front porch of the villa. She could feel Aunt Josephine’s gaze upon her. Cecily knew that her hair was rather messy, and her pretty purple dress was wrinkled from sitting on the airplane. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at the pretty old silvery goddess that stood before her.

“Aunt Josephine,” Cliff said as he put his hands on Cecily’s shoulders. “This is Cecily. Cecily, this is my Aunt Josephine.”

Cecily finally brought herself to look up at Aunt Josephine, who was staring at her openmouthed. “How do you do?” Cecily whispered.

“Good Riddance Clifford! I do declare, you never cease to surprise the living hell out of me!” Aunt Josephine exclaimed. “I never dreamed that you had a daughter. Damn, your mother is going to shit when she finds out. She’s going to certainly be impressed over how nicely dressed you have her Cliff. You didn’t pick out that cute little purple dress yourself did you?”

“Actually I did,” Cliff replied. “She’s not my daughter, but we used to think that she was my goddaughter. It’s a very long, long, long, long, long, (as you all can attest to) story. One that I will tell you over some pot and absinthe later tonight.”

“Goddaughter?” Aunt Josephine asked, raising an eyebrow. “So is she living with you now?”

Cliff shook his head. “She’s only staying for the night. She goes back to Copenhagen tomorrow evening.”

“Well there’s no need to rush her time here in the U.S. Clifford,” Aunt Josephine replied. She smiled at Cecily. “You can stay as long as you'd like sweetie, I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, but her mother will,” cut in Cliff.

“She’s a darling little girl Cliff,” Aunt Josephine sighed. She turned to Cecily, and offered the little girl her hand. “What do you think of San Francisco so far?” she asked.

“It’s wonderful,” Cecily replied. “I really like the Bay of Shining Waters.”

“Clifford,” Aunt Josephine said. “Whatever is the girl talking about?”

“It’s what she calls the San Francisco Bay,” Cliff replied with a shrug as he lit a cigarette.

Aunt Josephine frowned at Cliff. “Clifford,” she barked. “Did you give that poor little girl any weed?”
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Raluque
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Aunt Josephine frowned at Cliff. “Clifford,” she barked. “Did you give that poor little girl any weed?”

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

great updates
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Shayi
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Bring me that horizon
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Amazing :) I hope you feel better soon - and hell don't apologise for the servants names, they were cool as all hell. Kinda suitable for the kooky ol' bird Aunt Josephine!

“And it’s good to have my favorite nephew back to smoke pot, ride horses, drink absinthe, and watch Miami Vice with,” returned Aunt Josephine happily.
^^ That was an absolute winner of a line - what a crazy great old(er) lady Aunt Josephine is! I couldn't help lauging at that.

And Lars and Claudia? Oh dear Lars.... and how will he ever live up to the Het's reputation in the sack? ;)

I love your descriptions - they really bring the characters and places to life. That's one of the many things that make this story so damned awesome :)

And you know what really tickles me? The fact that everyone seems to think that Cliff has been giving Cecily weed.... nice long running giggle :)

Fantastic!!
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MissMetallica;;
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ahh so many updates. you've sure been busy and VERY inspired. i love it!

aww cecily is such a little cutie. and its cute how she named the san fransisco bay "the bay of shining waters". :) i like that name for a bay.

aunt josephine sounds awesome. id love an aunt that was so laid back and LOADED like good ol' aunt josephine.

lars and claudia. tut tut. i wonder what is going to hapnne with them!

hope your feeling a bit better soon ashley. and yes, it is a skateboard that kirk is holding in my siggy, im glad its helping you!
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Raedoll
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I'm terribly sorry about your neck injury, I hope you feel better soon.

I love how *everyone* thinks that Cliff gave Cecily pot. Lars and Claudia hooking back up? This is weird and interesting. But at the same time Not. I really wish Cecily could stay forever with Cliff....they would both be so happy. I love how Aunt Josephine knows his favorite foods and favorite everythings. She's such a loving person, she reminds me of my Grandmother. My grandmother rides all of the upside down rollercoasters at Sixflags. I love your descriptions of all the little things, how much they add to the story.
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Verity
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Thanks everybody! I don't know what I did but I did something to get my whole right side of my body out of alignment. It's still very sore, so I have to take it easy for a couple of days. The good thing is I can write more of this insane ass fic, and I can order people around to bring me shit. :)

Shayi- have fun on your vacation. Lucky.

Kristen- I wish I had an Aunt Josephine too. I guess that's part of why I dragged on this story to San Francisco- just so I could write her, and writing her makes me happy.

Raluque- Thanks for commenting. I thought only 3 people were digging this.

Rae- Lars/Claudia happened by accident. I had to give those 2 something to do in Denmark. :lol: I'm enjoying writing this. Your grandmother sounds like a badass.


Parts of it especially the end of this chapter are based on one of my favorite all time books. I just Metallized it. :)



Chapter 50- An Unexpected Road Trip, and Cliff Assists Cecily with her
Prayers


Denver International Airport

“You aren’t wearing that to San Francisco are you?” James asked as he eyed Emil y over the guitar magazine that he was reading.

“Fuck you Het!” Emily snarled, as she plopped down in the chair next to him.

“You’ve gotten quite a mouth on you since leaving Denmark,” James observed. “That’s hot.”

“It’s from being stuck on planes with you two foul mouthed bimbos for the past fourteen hours,” Emily retorted.

James, Kirk, and Emily were now stuck at the Denver airport. Their next flight had been delayed, and no one seemed to know for how long. This had also happened back in Copenhagen, Newark, and in Houston. To make things even worse, Kirk had gotten sick on the plane from Houston, and had thrown up his wonderful kick-ass airline meal of a smashed roast beef sandwich, all over the front of Emily’s beautiful aqua-blue evening gown. As soon as they had landed in Denver, Emily went straight to one of the gift shops and bought herself an overpriced sweatshirt that said “I :heart: DENVER,” and a pair of overpriced gray sweatpants to go with it. The ensemble looked strange with Emily’s high heels and evening jewelry, but it still didn’t look as strange as wearing an evening gown to the airport, and at least it didn’t smell like Kirk’s puke.

“You can’t wear those old sweats to see Cliff,” James went on.

“They’re not old,” Emily defended. “I just bought them. They cost me seventy dollars.”

“Cliff isn’t going to dig the sweats,” James said matter-of-factly.

“Shall I wear the puke covered evening dress instead?” Emily spat.

“That was pretty funny,” James laughed. “Ham Man even turned green. He was honest-to-God green.”

“Easy for you to say,” Emily scoffed. “He didn’t puke all over you.”

“That’s because he knows that if he had, I would have kicked his sorry ass all the way back to Denmark and beyond,” James replied. “And you know Emily, puke encrusted cleavage is still better than no cleavage, and I think that Cliff would agree.”

“Cliff can kiss my ass,” Emily snapped. “It has nothing to do with what I wear. If he enjoys Metallica, he’ll come back. I’m not here for Cliff. I’m here to get Cecily, and return her to her mother.”

A piqued looking Kirk, made his way over to them. A couple of grease spotted paper sacks were in his arms.

“Hey Hamster,” greeted James. “Got yourself some more puke bags I see.”

“They’re not puke bags!” Kirk returned as he sat down. “I bought a little dinner for everyone.”

“Do you feel well enough to eat Kirk?” James asked.

“He’s probably hungry since he threw up everything that he ate today all over my dress,” quipped Emily.

“I know that it doesn’t sound like the best thing that I should be eating right now, but they had these little bite size mini hamburgers.” He pulled one out of the paper sack. “Aren’t they cute? I just had to buy them.”

“Kirk,” James said as he snatched up one of the mini burgers, and devoured it without even chewing. “Puppies are cute. Balloons are cute. Little hippie chicks with tight little asses are cute. But hamburgers are not fucking cute!”

Just then, a voice came on over the airport loud speaker.

“Flight 335 with nonstop service to San Francisco has been cancelled,” it announced.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” James gasped as he swallowed another burger. Enraged, he stalked up to the ticket counter. “What the fuck is going on here?” he roared.

“We’re sorry, but due to the snowstorm all outgoing flights have been cancelled,” answered the flight agent (that’s what they’re called).

“I demand that you put us on the next flight that you have going out!” James yelled. He pounded his fist on the ticket counter. He had had his fill of flight delays, and airline bullshit.

“There aren’t any more flights going out today sir,” returned the flight agent. “I’m sorry, but it’s just too dangerous with the snow.”

“Fuck you pussy!” James snarled. “If we’re fucking stuck here for the night, you can at least put us up in a sweet hotel room.”

“I’m sorry, but since the cancellation is due to weather, we can’t do that,” said the flight agent. “I can give you a voucher for a free drink on your next flight though.”

“Oh that sounds heavenly!” piped up Kirk as he grabbed the voucher.

“That’s the last fucking thing that you need,” James snapped, as he grabbed the voucher from Kirk. “It’s more shit for you to puke up all over the plane. This is some serious bullshit! Just where the fuck are we supposed to sleep tonight?”

“They’re bench seats over there,” the flight agent pointed. “It would be almost like camping.”

“Camping my ass!” shrieked an irate James. “We’re fucking Metallica, and we aren’t going to sleep in no shitty airport.”

“Who?” the flight agent asked, clearly unimpressed.

“We don’t fucking need you chodes anyway!” James roared. “Come on Kirk. Emily! We’ll just rent a car and drive to San Francisco.”

“Have you lost your mind James?” Kirk cried. “It’s got to be at least an eighteen hour drive from Denver to San Francisco, plus the weather is horrid. The airlines aren’t flying because of the storm. We shouldn’t be out driving in it either.”

“It’s better than sitting around here with our thumbs up our asses!” shouted James. “At least we’d fucking eventually get there!” He turned to flight agent. “I want a rental car now! And don’t give me some cock sucking piece of shit. I want a car with a stereo and a moon roof.” As the agent prepared the paperwork, James turned to the stunned Kirk and Emily.

“The good thing about driving ourselves is that if Hamster pukes all over the place again, we can just throw him out of the car.”

***

“There’s no answer,” Cecily stated as she hung up the phone. “I call my Mum all the way from a different country, and she still can’t even pick up the phone.”

“She’s probably out getting her pussy raked by Mr. James,” Cliff sighed. He had been the one who insisted that Cecily call Claudia, and explain where she was. He felt so bad for Cecily. The little girl was clearly disappointed that her mother hadn’t answered the phone.

“Why don’t you try calling the hotel again, and leaving a message for her at the front desk?” Aunt Josephine suggested. “If Claudia is indeed searching for Cecily, surely the front desk clerk would know about it, and would let her know immediately that she called.

“Because I can’t afford umpteen million long distance calls to Denmark,” growled Cliff as he lit a joint. It was time to get stoned.

“Clifford,” Aunt Josephine said as she took a hit from Cliff’s newly lit joint. “You know damn well that I’m not going to make you pay that phone bill.”

“Thanks Aunt Josephine,” replied Cliff. “I appreciate you helping me. I’m sorry that I’m your unemployed loser nephew.”

“That you are,” Aunt Josephine replied, giving him a pat on the back. “But at least you do roll a good joint.”

Cecily tried calling Denmark once again. This time, she left a message for Claudia at the front desk, and hung up the phone.

“Did he mention anything about Claudia looking or asking about you?” Cliff asked.

Cecily shook her head.

“No. Actually, he said that my Mum was in the hotel bar with Mr. Lars,” she reported sadly. “She got so drunk that Mr. Lars had to take her back to her room.” Cecily’s face filled with tears. “I snuck on a plane, and went half away around the world, and my Mum isn’t even worried about me! Just went off and got drunk and now she’s with that icky, disgusting, Lars man!”

“I can’t believe that a mother can go out drinking while her daughter is missing,” said Aunt Josephine.

“I can’t believe that her mother would go from James to Lars,” said Cliff.

“Why? She’s a whore!” shot Cecily through tears.

“Yeah, but going from James to Lars is like going from having filet mignon in the sack every night to having grade D meat instead,” said Cliff.

“I told you that she doesn’t care about me!” Cecily sobbed. “Can’t you see that Mr. Cliff? She doesn’t love me! Why can’t I just stay with you?”

“Cecily,” Cliff said sternly.

“If I were pretty instead of homely with messy hair, would you keep me?” Cecily asked.

“Cecily, you’re being absolutely ridiculous!” Cliff yelped.
Cecily ran out the room, up the stairs, and to her cheerfully decorated guest suite. She threw herself down on the massive, cushy, bed, and cried and cried.


“You can’t send her back to that woman!” said Aunt Josephine. “Her mother doesn’t sound responsible at all. She has no business raising a little girl!”

“And neither do I,” said Cliff.

“Why not?” Aunt Josephine retorted, as she poured her nephew a glass of absinthe. “If any court knew that her mother was off gallivanting around with some rocker, instead of paying attention to the whereabouts of her five-year-old daughter, she’d loose her parental rights in a heartbeat. She’s a lousy mother. Cecily deserves better.”

“I don’t even have a job right now,” Cliff said as he downed the absinthe. “How would I even be able to support her, and buy her shit?”

“Clifford, you know very well that I’m not going to turn my favorite nephew out onto the street,” Aunt Josephine replied. “And, if you kissed that little Danish troll’s ass enough, I’m sure that he’d let you back into Metallica.”

“Who would look after her while I’m away touring?” Cliff asked.

“I would of course,” said Aunt Josephine. “It gets lonely around here. I’d love a little girl to do things with.” Aunt Josephine took Cliff’s hand in hers. “Clifford, I believe that things happen for a reason. I think that fate brought that little girl to you. For some reason, you decided to pull that asinine prank on Lars, and for some reason Cecily decided that she liked you. You two need each other.”

Cliff snorted. “Fuck, she needs me a hell of a lot more than I need her.”

“Are you sure about that Cliff?” retorted Aunt Josephine. Cliff just fumbled with his joint.

“We’ll talk about this more in depth later tonight,” sighed Aunt Josephine. “Go upstairs and put Cecily to bed. She must be exhausted after that long trip. Ask Brunhilda to give you one of my nightshifts, since the poor girl doesn’t have any luggage. She can also give you an extra toothbrush. Make sure that Cecily says her prayers too.”

Cliff giggled. “Oh Aunt Josephine, you know that I don’t go to church.”

“Yeah, and look at yourself,” Aunt Josephine snapped as she took a hit from Cliff’s joint.
“You’re unemployed, depressed, and don’t have a girlfriend.”

“I’ll put finding Jesus on my list of things to do,” Cliff grumbled as he shuffled out of the room to go find Brunhilda. “It’s going to be the blind leading the blind though.”

***

“My Aunt says that you have to say your prayers,” Cliff sighed once Cecily was dressed and all ready for bed.

“My Mum never makes me say prayers,” said Cecily, who was still sniffling.

“Mine either,” said Cliff. “But Aunt Josephine says that you have to, and it’s her house.”

“I’ve never said prayers before,” whined Cecily. “How do I do it?”

“Well, uh, uh, you kneel down by the side of the bed, and fold your hands,” Cliff instructed.

Cecily climbed out of the bed, nearly tripping over Aunt Josephine’s way too long nightgown. She knelt down. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Why do I have to fold my hands?”

“Because that’s what the church people do,” Cliff replied. “Now thank him for your blessings, and then humbly ask him for things you would like.”

“If I do will you give me absinthe?” Cecily asked.

“Cecily, just shut up and pray,” Cliff snapped as he lit a cigarette.

Cecily took a deep breath, folded her hands, and closed her eyes.

“Dear Gracious Most Heavenly Father, thank you so much for all of the wonderful blessings that you have given me, especially for Mr. Cliff, Aunt Josephine, the beautiful Miss Emily, and Mr. Kirk too. To name all of the many things that I would like would take hours upon hours, and since you’re God, I assume that you’re probably very busy, so I will only ask you for the three most important things: please let me stay with Mr. Cliff in San Francisco, please have Mr. Cliff and Miss Emily get married, and please make me beautiful and not practical looking, when I grow up. Oh yeah, and please help Mr. Cliff get laid. Yours respectfully, Cecily.” Cecily looked up at Cliff for approval. “How’d I do Mr. Cliff?”

“Great, especially the part about me getting laid,” Cliff replied. “Now get to bed.” He lifted Cecily up into the bed.

“Cliff,” Cecily piped up. “I forgot to say Amen. I said yours respectfully instead. Do you think that it will make a difference?”

“I think that God will be down with yours respectfully,” Cliff replied as he tucked the bed covers in around her. He bent over and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight Cess,” he said as he got up to leave the room.

“Goodnight Mr. Cliff,” Cecily replied. “And thank you.”

“For what?” Cliff asked.

Cecily sighed, as she snuggled down in her comfy nest of pillows.

“For everything…”
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Raedoll
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Poor girl's terribly sweet, and it just *figures* that all the planes would be delayed then cancelled. I love Aunt Josephine and how much she cares for Cliff, and suggests things about him adopting Cecily. She'd love that so much, and they would be great for eachother. Cliff's in denial about needing Cecily and he damn well KNOWS it. Hah. I really can't wait for more, and I do enjoy the story. That sucks about misalligning your right side, and I'm curious as to what book you're referencing. Can't wait for more, Keep up the awesome work.
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MissMetallica;;
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Poor Twisted Me
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that last bit with cecily attempting to pray was very cute and sweet, and the way cliff tucked her up in bed. aww. cliff would be such a good dad.

poor kiky getting sick on the plane, and i wonder how they will go with trying to drive all the way from denver to san fran! i dont live in america, or even know where on the map SF and denver is, but 18 hours is one fucking long drive. i hope they get there in time before cliff ships cecily back to denmark.

aunt josephine would be a such a great aunt, damn i wish i was cliff :lol:
and a FLIGHT AGENT. now we both know what they are called. thanks for enlightening me with the name :) learn something new each day.

..flight dude sounds pretty baddass though :P
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Raluque
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“I know that it doesn’t sound like the best thing that I should be eating right now, but they had these little bite size mini hamburgers.” He pulled one out of the paper sack. “Aren’t they cute? I just had to buy them.”

:lol: :lol: :lol:

OMG... my boyfriend got scared when he heard me laughing so hard...
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