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Father of the Year; Kirk is going to get even with Lars. Het.
Topic Started: July 3, 2007, 9:40 pm (14,626 Views)
Raedoll
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Poor Twisted Me
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Cliff's not that bad of an asshole, he's just...flustered and irritated. He's worried he won't get guardianship of Cecily. That's what I Think is getting his goat.

Goat: Ba-aa-aloney.

Oh hush. :P I love how Emily caught onto the Setup, and Cliff was totally oblivious. And it's arlight, I'll wait for updates. They're well worth it.
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Shayi
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Bring me that horizon
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Man, I'm still playing catchup here - up to page 16 of this thread! I'm lovin' the way that Aunt Josephine is letting all this go on in her house - and Mrs Burton is very cool - Cliff deserves a good whack!

Cecily and Mandie talking about Kirk and James made me laugh so much! And Cliff - 'you can't sleep with anyone until you're 36' man that made me chuckle :)

Still working hard at catching up - this story is just so, so incredible!

x
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Shayi- Your catching up really fast. :) Glad that you're liking it. I'm not going to be too fast with the updates now, they will be less frequent. But who knows, I guess it depends on how much Battlestar Galactica that my friend watches. If she watches a lot, I'll certainly be wriiting a lot, because I'm not really down with that much science fiction stuff. :)

Rae- Cliff's very irritated, and he's only going to get even more irritated. :dance At the end of this chapter I felt very sorry for him.




Chapter 77- Cecily Begs for Forgiveness

“I think that I’m going to get going now,” said Emily. She took one last swig of her champagne, and got up out of her chair.

“Don’t go,” Cliff said. “Brunhilda made all of this food and shit. I can’t eat it all by myself.”

“I’ve seen you have the munchies Cliff,” Emily replied. “And I’m sure that James will be happy to help you. That man’s a goat.”

“At least finish the champagne,” Cliff pressed as he poured her another glass.

“If I have anymore champagne, I won’t be able to drive home,” said Emily.

“Barnabas can take you,” Cliff replied. “Someone has to drink this shit. I don’t like champagne.”

“Cliff, you drink cheap penny vodka straight,” said Emily. “How can you not like champagne?”

Cliff blushed. “Well, I guess I’ve never had it.”

“Never?” Emily asked. “Not even on New Years?”

“I spent my last New Years with my head in the toilet in some random chick’s hotel room, puking up my innards somewhere in Florida,” Cliff replied. “It was brutal.”

“Sounds like you had too much champagne,” replied Emily.

“No, it was Jagermeister,” said Cliff.

“You really need to try champagne,” said Emily. “It’s the good stuff, the kind of stuff that you can drink a lot of, and never get a hangover.”

She poured Cliff a glass and offered it to him. He had never ever even come close to drinking champagne before. No one in Metallica ever drank it, not even Kirk, because he got sick on it once. Timidly, Cliff took the champagne glass.

“Thank you,” he said as he took a sip. “Hey, this shit’s pretty good.”


***
“What’s going on out there?” Cecily asked from under the bed where James had her stashed.

“They’re drinking champagne!” James reported from where he was staked out at the window. “Damn, they’re drinking Dom Perignon. I want Brunhilda to fix me a tea for myself and Philippa. Fuck. Perignon is some serious shit.”

“Are they kissing?” asked Cecily.

“Not quite yet,” answered James. “Cliffster is a wee bit slow. He’s on his third glass of champagne though, and they’re both giggling like a couple of ninnies. Cliff’s wasted already, but he has been drinking pretty much the entire day.”

Just then, James spotted something that made his whole stomach turn upside down. “Oh fuck,” he groaned. “We’re in for some deep shit.”

“Is Cliff angry with me?” Cecily asked, her head poking out from the bed’s dust ruffle.

“Cliff’s going to have far worse problems than dealing with you Cess,” said James. “Lars just pulled up.”

“Lars!” Cecily gasped. “The same Mr. Lars from Denmark? The same one who was so happy when he found out that he's not my Dad?"

“That’s him,” James said with a nod. “He’s got the Ham Man with him. The little fucker must have blown our cover! Now everything is going to be fucked up.”

“Get down under the bed with me,” said Cecily. “You’re the one who asked Cliff back into the band. Lars is probably pretty mad at you too.”

“He’s dragging Kirk by the hair,” said James. “Yeah, he’s pretty fucking pissed. Hiding under the bed sounds like a good idea.”


***

“We got anymore of this shit?” Cliff asked as he examined the champagne bottle.

“Ask your Aunt,” said Emily. “That “shit” is a 1967 vintage. I doubt that she has another one. Oh well, at least these little fruit tarts are good.” She popped one into her mouth. “Cecily was really sweet in doing this for us, even if she shouldn’t be nosing around in your personal life.”

“My personal life is pretty much non existent,” Cliff sighed as he tried to shake out the very last drop from the champagne bottle. “Oh well, at least the little fucker has good taste in women.”

“She does?” Emily asked. “Why do you say that?”

“Oh come on Emily,” said Cliff as he went back to his Heinekens. “You know that you’re good looking. Not only that, but you’re smart, and sweet, and funny, and you drink champagne fast. ”

Emily turned away. She thought that she heard something that sounded like Kirk squawking from a distance. Perhaps she was hearing things, or it was the champagne. She could have sworn that she had heard Kirk, or maybe it was wishful thinking.

“Will you go out with me?” Cliff asked.

How come he can’t ask me this sober? Emily thought. But then again, she was a little shnockered herself. Barnabas would definitely be giving her a ride home. “Cliff,” she began. “I don’t think that it’s a good idea for us to have a relationship just based on the fact that we both care for Cecily.”

“Why the fuck not?” Cliff retorted. “She’s a smart little girl. Maybe she knows something.”

“You’re wasted Cliff,” said Emily.

“So are you,” Cliff replied, and without warning he leaned over and started kissing her right on the lips, knocking over a tea cup in the process. It lasted a minute, then two, then three…

“Okay you two fockers!” Lars belted out as he burst out onto the veranda with Kirk in tow by one of his ringlets as if he were a dog. “You two get a room! What the fock is the matter with you people? Slobbering all over each other in public!”

Cliff and Emily pulled away from each other at once. At the sight of Lars, Cliff’s face went ghastly white. Just when everything was finely falling into place for him, Lars had to come in and wreck it all. Lars wasn’t the only one disapproving of the spectacle. Kirk looked absolutely near tears.

“Emily!” he exclaimed. “What on earth are you doing with Cliff?”

“What do you think that she’s doing?” Lars snapped at him. “She’s getting some cock!”

“But we’ve been exchanging love notes,” Kirk blubbered, as tears began to dance down his cheeks.

“Oh don’t start focking crying you ass-tard!” retorted Lars. He had had to listen to Kirk cry, piss, and moan for the entire duration of the drive to Napa. He couldn’t take anymore of whiny Kirk.

Cliff turned to Emily.

“You’ve been exchanging love notes with Hamster?” he asked. “That’s absolutely fucking gross!”

“It was just one note,” explained Emily. “He wrote it to me first!”

“Can’t I bang one fucking chick that hasn’t been passed around through the band?” Cliff spat.

“You guys do seem to like passing around chicks and daughters,” quipped Emily.

“Nice,” Cliff muttered. “I got some puss for all of three fucking minutes.”

“Three minutes is enough time to do what you need to do,” said Lars.

“For some people,” Cliff growled. “What the fuck are you doing over here Ulrich?”

“What the fock are you doing sending demo tapes over to Flemming?” demanded Lars. “Metallica is my band! You have no business going behind my back and rewriting my songs!”

“Oh fuck off you Danish anal cunt!” Cliff snapped. “I did more work writing those songs with James than you did! We made your songs a hell of a lot better. We have a slow section in Master of Puppets that actually makes sense with the tonal structure of the composition!”

“He’s right Lars,” chirped in Kirk.

“He speaks all gibberish to me,” snorted Lars. “Anyway, I can just use your better ideas that make more sense to the “tonal structure of the composition”. Someone has to, because you are not. You’re fired.”

“You can’t fire me!” laughed Cliff. “James says that I’m hired, and he’s half of the band.”

“We’ll just see about that,” scoffed Lars. “Where the fock is he?”

“It’s not my day to watch him,” Cliff retorted.

“I know that he’s hiding out here somewhere,” shot Lars. “I can’t blame him though. Your Aunt has a nice pad Burton.”

“Thank you,” said Cliff. “I’m rather fond of it.”

“No shit,” said Lars as he looked up at the huge, looming, villa. “And I’ve been in some seriously nice mansions in my day.”

“Mr. James likes the hot tub,” said a little voice. Everyone whirled around to find James and Cecily coming out onto the veranda.

“Hello James,” Lars shot. “Come out of your hiding place?”

“Don’t you ever pull another stunt like this on me again!” James shouted. “How dare you fire our bassist without consenting me first?”

“I’m not a child James,” replied Lars smoothly. “I don’t need your consent to do anything.”

“We started this band together Lars,” James reminded him. “You don’t go firing people without discussing it first. Remember when we axed Mustaine? We had a powwow the night before, and discussed it.”

“Okay, then we’ll have a powwow now,” shot Lars. “Cliff has demoralized, and dragged the Ulrich family name through the mud. I don’t care how accomplished of a bassist he is, he’s fired!”

“I say that he’s not!” declared James. “Operation Cecily Ulrich is old news! Get over it Lars! She’s nearly Cecily Burton now.”

“Cecily Burton?” Lars snorted.

“I’m in the process of adopting her,” said Cliff.

“No court in their right mind is ever going to give you a child Burton!” Lars laughed. “You’ll end up killing Cecily!”

“I will not!” Cliff shot.

“Cliff, you’re an absolute ignoramus. You have the common sense of a baby chicken. Remember the time that we had to run you to the emergency room because you stuck a knife in the toaster?”

“That was me Lars,” James hissed.

Just then, Cecily planted herself right in front of Lars, and fell to her knees at his feet.

“Please, please, Mr. Lars,” she begged. “Please don’t fire Cliff. What he did in trying to play me off as your daughter was awful, despicable, and unforgivable. I’ll be emotionally scarred from it for life, and so will you, but please forgive him. He’s a wonderful bassist, and he’s the only person in this world who loves and cares about me. He’s not only like my dad, but he’s also my best friend. If you fire him, he won’t have enough money to be able to keep me, and I’ll have to be sent back to my lonely life in Denmark. You can’t bestow that upon a poor, little, innocent, and practically orphaned little girl! And I’m sorry for kicking you, and saying nasty things about you, even if everything that I said about you was true, I shouldn’t have said it. Please,” she went on as she folded her hands. “Please forgive us both.”

“Get up Cecily!” Lars snapped at her unkindly. “You’re making a dick out of yourself.”

Cecily shakily got up off of her knees. Tears were falling down her face.

“Come here baby,” Cliff called to her. He knelt down, and opened up his arms to her. Cecily flung herself right into them, burying her face away from everyone and crying. “Don’t cry Sweetie,” Cliff coaxed her. “James isn’t going to let me get fired.”

“Damn right,” added James.

Lars stared at Cliff as he tried to comfort the crying girl. The two of them were almost sickening. Cecily may have thought that she was helping by prostrating herself at Lars’s feet, and begging for forgiveness. However, what she did was give him a fabulous plan, and watching Cliff blubber all over the stupid girl as if she were really his own flesh and blood, fueled Lars’s plan.

“I’ll let Cliff back in the band,” said Lars primly. “On two conditions.”

“What are they?” Cliff asked, a little bit of worry in his voice.

“One of them is I’d like to stay here at the villa too,” said Lars. “It’s no fair that you two balls of fock get to live like focking poshas, while I’m stuck back at the crummy Metallimansion.”

“Fine,” Cliff answered. “Aunt Josephine has tons of guest suites.”

“My second condition is,” Lars began as he gave Cecily a very smug look. “Is that your precious little Cecily, goes back to her Mum, and that you never see her again..."
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Raedoll
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Poor Twisted Me
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Lars can't do that. That's not fair. ARHGHT. Lars ruins EVERYTHING. I hate him. *smack*
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MissMetallica;;
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Poor Twisted Me
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oh no! no no no no no!! you cant do that lars!

i think james, kirk and cliff should just ditch lars and start another band. then all problems would be solved.

ahh I HATE LARS!!
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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This chapter sucks but at least it amuses me. :lol:



Chapter 78- More Screaming and Crying People


“You’ve got to be dicking me Lars!” Cliff shot as he held Cecily close, closer than he ever had had before. “What’s it to you if I adopt Cecily?”

“You send her back to her Mum, or you’re not in the band,” Lars as he played with his chewing gum. “It’s not brain surgery.”

“You’re not going to send me back are you Cliff?” Cecily asked.

“Of course not Sweetie,” Cliff told her.

“Then I guess Yann is our bassist,” said Lars.

“You’re not firing Burton!” shouted James. He turned to Lars. “Why do you have to be such a god-damn bully all of the time? It’s like you get off on torturing people! So fucking what? Cliff played a prank on you. We all do that kind of shit. Grow up and get over it.”

“My Dad almost told my mother about Cecily,” said Lars as he helped himself to a Heineken without asking.

“So?” Cliff retorted. “My Mom thought she was really mine too for an afternoon. Big fucking deal. Now she even loves Cecily as if she really were her own granddaughter.”

“She’s even going to paint my toe nails for me,” Cecily put in.

“You don’t understand!” squawked Lars. “Me having a child out of wedlock that I didn’t even know about for five years, would have absolutely killed my mother. She thinks that I’m still a virgin.”

“Well then she’s been living with her head up her ass for the past eight years,” quipped James.

“I can’t help it if the Ulrich’s have better family morals than the Burton’s do,” snapped Lars. “My Dad didn’t take me to strip clubs when I was fourteen, and my mother certainly wouldn’t be glorifying me having a long lost daughter.”

“Lars, if you’re still pissed at me take it out on me,” said Cliff. “But don’t drag Cecily into this. If you make it so that we can never see each other again, you’re punishing her as well.”

“So?” Lars said with a shrug. “She’s not my daughter. I don’t give a shit about Cecily.” He threw his empty beer can off of the porch, and into one of the neatly trimmed bushes.

“Mr. Lars,” said Cecily as she timidly looked up at him. “Why do you hate me so? I’m sorry that I kicked you. Please don’t send me away from Cliff. He’s the only happiness that I’ve ever known.”

“I hate you because you’re living proof that Cliff made an ass out of me,” returned Lars bitterly as he went for another beer. “He made an ass out of the whole Ulrich family name, because we had lawyers and shit dragged into it. You’re also living proof you’re your mum’s a full blown whore.” He turned to Cliff. “Make your decision Burton. You have Metallica, or the kid.”

“I’ll go back,” Cecily said, as she collapsed into tears. Cliff and Emily both ran to comfort the little girl. “I’ll go back to Denmark, but I’m only doing it for Cliff. I want Cliff to be back in his band, and I want him to be happy.”

“Fuck,” James gasped. “The kid must really fucking love you Cliff. She’d even go back to Denmark and live with her slut mother for you.”

“Claudia’s a decent parent,” snapped Lars. “It’s not like I’m sending the brat off to live with someone who beats her.”

“Claudia is not a decent parent,” Cliff shot as he stroked Cecily’s hair. “It’s alright Cess. I can join the Penis Wrinkles remember? I don’t need Metallica. I could also teach too.”

Lars would never admit it, but he was jealous. No, she wasn’t of eligible age to be puss, she was just a little girl, but she still loved Cliff more than anything, and was willing to sacrifice her happiness for him, and Cliff was willing to do the same for her. Lars had never felt that way about anybody, and he had never had anyone felt that way about him either.

“You will not be joining the Penis Wrinkles!” gasped a horrified James. “They suck ass.”

“You heard of them?” asked Cliff.

“Unfortunately,” said James. “They’re a bunch of hacks. You belong with us, not in the fucking Penis Wrinkles for Christ sakes! I’m sorry Lars, but I’m staying with Cliff. We’ll form our own band. We’ll take you too Kirk.”

“Oh goodie!” Kirk chirped and he ran up to hug James.

“But I’m Lars Ulrich!” Lars gasped.

“Yeah, yeah,” James said with a yawn. “Son of Torben Ulrich. Torben Ulrich doesn’t write good metal songs. Cliff does.”

“I can’t focking believe this!” Lars yelled, tears starting to form in his eyes. “You’d rather have Cliff and a focking five-year-old on your side than me!”

“That’s because you’re always acting like such a dick all of the time!” yelled Emily.

“Fock all of you!” A very hurt Lars screamed, and he stormed inside the house. He didn’t know his way around the villa at all, and he didn’t care. He wandered into the living room, and threw himself down on one of the comfy, cozy, couches to cry.

“My, my,” said Aunt Josephine who was still trying to put the entertainment center together. “Whatever is the matter child?” She came over and sat down on the edge of the couch next to the crying Lars. She began to smooth back the strands of his wispy, brown, hair.

“Who the fock are you?” Lars snapped through tears.

“I’m Cliff’s Aunt Josephine,” she replied. Lars looked up at her. So this was the famous rich aunt? Lars wanted to hate her, but he couldn’t. She looked too nice.

“Oh go fock off!” Lars snarled through tears. “Leave me alone!”

“I think that I have a right to know who you are, and why you’re in my home crying,” returned Aunt Josephine. “Are you good at putting shit together?”

“What shit?” Lars asked.

“I have this entertainment center and neither Clifford nor James can seem to help me put it together,” Aunt Josephine explained. “They can manage plugging in and fucking around with all sorts of amplifers, but they can’t figure out how to screw together two pieces of wood. I’m old, and the wood parts are heavy for me.”

Lars wiped away his tears and got up to check out the entertainment center. It was a pretty fucking sweet piece of furniture, and the TV that went inside it was even sweeter. Lars sniffled as he picked up two pieces of wood and began to fit them together.”

“Finally, someone who knows what he’s doing,” said Aunt Josephine.

“It’s from putting my drum kit together all of the time,” Lars mumbled sullenly as he hammered the parts together.

“You must stay and have dinner with us,” said Aunt Josephine. “What’s your name dear?”

“I’m Lars,” Lars retorted coldly as he reached for another part.

This is the evil, horrid, Lars that everyone has been hiding from for the past week? Aunt Josephine was shocked. He didn’t seem that bad. He was just a lost soul, a soul that just needed a little love is all. She couldn’t believe that this little, crying, Danish lad was the man that everyone had been fearing.

***

“What should we call our new band?” Kirk asked.

“Fuck, I don’t know,” admitted James. “I’ll need to have a few more beers before I can concoct up a good band name.”

“Let’s call it Gander’s Mountain,” suggested Kirk.

“I’d rather be in the Penis Wrinkles,” Cliff laughed.

“What about Philippa’s Boobies?” suggested James.

“I’m sorry Cliff,” Cecily cut in. “I really don’t want to make any more trouble for you and Metallica.”

“You aren’t making any trouble for me at all,” Cliff told her. “I would never send you back. I’m quite touched though. I mean, you’d go back and live with your shitty mom again for me.”

“I’d do anything,” said Cecily. “I’d do anything for you or Miss Emily.”

The phone rang again, and it seemed as if Cliff was the only person in the villa that could ever answer it. He traipsed back inside to pick it up.

“Hello, Cliff?” Claudia said at the other end.

Why the fuck is she calling me again? Cliff thought. I thought that she was poor and had no money.

“What do you want?” Cliff said flatly.

“To speak with my daughter of course,” said Claudia. “It’s nearing evening there. Surely she must be back from her friend’s house.”

“She went to my parent’s place,” Cliff lied. “She’s gone for the weekend. She wanted to know what it’s like to actually have grandparents for once.”

“Oh,” said Claudia. “Well give me their phone number. I’ll just call her over there.”

“I don’t have it.”

“You don’t know the number at your own parents’ house?” Claudia asked.

“I thought it was too expensive for you to keep calling?” Cliff demanded.

“My boyfriend is paying for my calls,” shot Claudia. “Why are you being so hateful to me? I know that you think that I’m a lousy mother. You’re right. I am, and I’m now seeing that. I’ve been downright terrible to Cecily. I’ve neglected and ignored her, and I’ve told her shit like that she’s ruined my life, and was an accident. I don’t blame the kid for fucking hating me! I’m not asking for you to send her back. I think that she’s better off in San Francisco. I think the warmer air is better for her fragile health, and I’ve always wanted her to have a father someday, and I’m happy that she found one in you. But I would like to be able to speak with her, and maybe once a year she could come visit me, like during her summer school vacation or something.”

But you’re a slut, Cliff thought. He didn’t want Cecily sitting all alone in a hotel room while her mother fucked for the entire night. He also hadn’t been aware that Claudia had even gone as far as to tell Cecily to her face that she had ruined her life, and was an accident. No wonder the kid was so clingy, and always seeming like she was in fear of being sent back again.

“I don’t know about that Claudia,” Cliff returned. “Flights to Denmark are expensive.”

“I’ll put aside money weekly for her ticket,” said Claudia. “I’ll have about six months to save up for it. We can put her on a nonstop.”

“Humph,” Cliff snorted.

“Cliff, I know you hate me, but I am her mother, you’re not even related to her. She has no ties to you, but I did give birth to her, and I did raise her for five years. She has every right to see me.”

“She doesn’t want to see you,” Cliff retorted. “The way that you’ve treated Cecily makes me sick!”

Just then, he felt someone tap his back. Cliff turned around to see Cecily standing right behind him.

“Cliff?” she said. “Who are you talking to about me?”

“I hear her!” Claudia exclaimed into the phone. “She’s right there! You lied to me! Put her on now Cliff!”

Cliff swallowed, and handed the phone to Cecily. “It’s your Mom,” he mumbled.

“My Mum?” Cecily repeated. “She called me?” Her eyes went wide as she took the phone receiver. “Mummy?” she said.

Cliff could only hear Cecily’s side of the conversation. She rambled about her reading scores, her books that she was reading, and about Mandie, but then the conversation took a turn, a very bad turn for Cliff.

“No,” Cecily said. “He didn’t say that you had called earlier. Actually, he told me today that you haven’t called me at all. I don’t know why he would say that. He didn’t mention you missing me.”

Oh shit, thought Cliff.

“I don’t know why,” he heard Cecily say. “I don’t think that he would have forgotten.”

Cliff shuffled out into one of the other rooms, maybe if he were conveniently not around it would all blow over, and Cecily would be all chill about it. However, this wasn’t going to be the case, it would have been too easy, and then I would have had nothing to write about…
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Raedoll
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Poor Twisted Me
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Aunt Josephine is only seeing ONE side of the story!!! No! Crap. And Claudia is trying to make ammends, but Cecily might not enjoy Cliff to much. But if Cliff tells her why he lied she might not hate him. "Cess," Cliff sighed raking his hands hard through his hair, "Sometimse grownups don't know how to explain things to people they love so they lie about it to make things easier." BLARHG. I can't wait for more, and I love your jump-in at the end. Go James and Kirk for making a new band! bwahah!!
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Simone
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Mistress of Puppets
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Ok... I just got home last week from Greece. I entered the Metallichicks page and I go :"HOLY SHIT!!! Man I have to read A LOT!"

And I knew that it was worth it!!! Verity you rock to Pluto and back!!!! :horns: :heart: :horns2

First,I think you REALLY should write a book,but change the Metallica names...it would be a best-seller!!!

Second...james isn't the master of puppets... YOU are the Master Of Puppets!!!You're genial!!! :horns: :heart: :horns2

Luv yah girl,and let's see what's next!!!!! :nanner:
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Simone- Your review made my day. Really it did. I'm glad to have my first faithful reader back. :dance I have always wanted to be called the Master of Puppets. :) That, and bad-ass.
I couldn't change the names though, because I don't think of very good band names hence, Penis Wrinkles. :)


Rae- You've got it. :) You could write this story yourself. :dance You're very close.


I hope this chapter doesn't suck too much. I'm a little sleepy, but not yet ready to fall asleep so if it gets like it's spaced out, sorry.



Chapter 78- Lars and James Make a Bet


“Set an extra place at the table Brunhilda,” instructed Aunt Josephine as she observed the dining room. “Young master Lars will be dining with us tonight.”

James spat out the gin and tonic that he had been drinking. “You can’t invite that little shit bastard for dinner!” he squawked.

“Last time I checked, I paid the property taxes on this place James,” replied Aunt Josephine. “It’s my house. I can invite whoever I want over for dinner. Lars deserves it anyway. He put my entertainment center together, which is more than I can say for you and Clifford.”

“He also told Clifford that the only way that he’d let him back into Metallica was if he sent Cecily back,” said James. “The guy’s a real sweetheart.”

“Lars would never say something so coldhearted!” gasped Aunt Josephine. “He was such a sweet boy as he put my entertainment center together. He told me that he’d also help me hook up my TV.”

“He’s only saying that because he wants to use your hot tub,” said James.

“It’s turning into the fuck tub,” Aunt Josephine retorted. “Speaking of fucking, guess who just pulled up in the driveway.”

“Phil’s here!” James exclaimed, his entire face lighting up. He might have to dine at the same table as Lars, but at least he’d get to dangle the lovely Philippa in front of him like a prized trophy. Lars could go to hell.

“We’re having a full table tonight,” said Aunt Josephine excitedly. “Between Lars and Philippa, and Emily.”

“I’m surprised that Emily is staying,” admitted James. “I had no idea that her and Kirk had a thing going on. I wonder if Ernestine knows.”

“Emily is a little too tipsy to make it home, and she’s such a sweet little thing. I asked her to stay, plus Cecily adores her so,” said Aunt Josephine. “I can’t believe that she tried to set her up with Cliff.”

“Yeah, they didn’t get real far,” said James as he ran to greet Philippa.

Lars wandered into the dining room. He was totally loving hanging out in Aunt Josephine’s villa. This pad would do very nicely for Metallica rehearsals. He had even found some weed. Real, honest-to-God weed that had been stashed behind one of Aunt Josephine’s real Picasso paintings. Lars loved looking at modern artwork, but he especially loved artwork that had baggies of weed stashed behind it.”

His mouth dropped open at the sight of Philippa, who was looking all hot in a tight, clingy, red dress that emphasized and pushed up her assets.

“Fock,” he gasped. Was everything better in the Napa Valley? He had been missing out on a ton of good shit.

“Philippa,” James said with a flourish. “This is my ex bandmate Lars.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” said Philippa as she held out her nicely manicured hand to Lars.

“Most of it’s probably just bullshit,” Lars replied as he gazed at her boobs. “Did you know that James wet the bed until he was ten?”

“Fuck, I still wet the bed,” laughed James and he moseyed on over to the wet bar to make another gin and tonic.

“Jesus James!” Lars hissed as he followed him to the bar. “I can’t believe that you of all people could score with a chick like that.”

“Ain’t she the shit?” said James as he stirred his drink. “The amazing thing is that even Burton scored with her before me.”

“Unbelievable,” gasped a bewildered Lars. “Where the fock did you find her? Does she have any single sisters?”

“Cecily picked her out,” said James. “She originally picked her out for Cliff, but then Cliff being a dumbshit, fucked everything up with her, so now she's mine.”

“Why would that little brat pick out chicks for Cliff?” Lars asked as he grabbed James’s gin and tonic and took it for himself.

“Maybe because Cliff doesn’t call her names like brat,” James retorted. “And he doesn’t steal other people’s drinks. I know that you thought that she was rather vain always yapping about looking beautiful and shit like that, but the kid does know how to select prime grade puss, and Philippa is living proof of that.”

“I was nice to the kid once,” Lars scoffed as he sucked on one of the ice cubes from James’s drink. “I bought the little fucker a dress, and a jacket, and a doll.”

“And you jumped around for glee when you found out that she wasn’t your daughter, and told her that she just wasn’t good enough to be an Ulrich,” James added. “You also told her that she’s living proof that her mom is a slut. You’ve been a real sweetie to her. She must adore you.”

“Fock you dick weed!” shot Lars as he roughly set James’s drink down on the bar. “And you can take your lousy drink back! You make shitty gin and tonics anyway. I’ll show you! I’ll honey my way right up to Cecilia or whatever her focking goofy name is, and she’ll be picking out chicks for me in a heartbeat.”

“You kicked her Daddy out of the band,” James laughed. “She wouldn’t try and score a chick for you even if her life depended on it.”

“Cliff can be back in the band for now,” Lars said evenly. “But if the brat fails to find me a chick within a week, I’ll fire him again, I also want fifty bucks from you.”

“Good luck,” sighed James. “But you’re on. Fifty bucks says she can’t and won’t find you a lay.” The two shook hands.

“You’re going down Het,” squealed Lars, his eyes twinkling. “Why do you think that I’m not capable of getting the little brat to like me?”

“Hmmm,” mused James as he gladly polished off his gin and tonic. “Maybe because you keep calling her little brat?”

***
Cliff started to fuck around in the sunroom with his bass. Hopefully, Cecily would leave him alone. She knew that she was not allowed to disturb Cliff while he was practicing. Nothing made him angrier, however today, Cecily felt that she had the upper hand. She was the angry one. She marched right into the sunroom and unplugged his practice amp.

“Hey!” Cliff snarled. “Don’t fuck with my shit.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that my Mum called this morning?” Cecily demanded. She plunked herself down right on top of his amplifier.

Cliff sighed, and pretended to be tuning his already in tune bass. He didn’t want to have to look at Cecily. “You want to hear a new riff that I made up?” he asked.

“No,” Cecily retorted annoyed. “I want to know why you didn’t tell me that my Mum called. I even had asked you today if she had called.”

“You want me to play the intro to For Whom the Bell Tolls for you?” Cliff asked. “You always like that one. It makes you smile.”

“No,” Cecily shook her head. “I want to know why you’d rather have me think that my own mother doesn’t even love me, than tell me that she called.”

“It wasn’t that important Cess,” Cliff shrugged and began to fuck around with his wah pedal. Cecily unplugged the wah pedal.

“Hey!” Cliff squealed. “I thought that I told you not to touch my bass shit.”

“Whether or not I feel loved by my mother isn’t important to you?” Cecily asked.

“Cecily, who gives a fuck what your mother says or thinks?” Cliff returned as he obnoxiously noodled around on his bass. “The woman treated you like shit. She doesn’t deserve you. You need to start living for yourself, and not giving a shit what the fuck other people think and say about you.”

“But she’s my Mum!” Cecily cried. “If your own mother doesn’t love you, who does?” She started sobbing.

“I do!” Cliff told her. “Don’t cry Cecily. I can’t stand it when you cry! It makes me want to buy you shit.”

“Not only did you not tell me that my Mum called, but you lied to me when I asked you,” Cecily moaned. “How can I ever trust anything that you say? You lie to me, Philippa, Mr. Lars!”

Cliff didn’t have much to say. He turned his attention back to fucking around on the bass. Cecily pulled the bass out of his hands.

“You know not to touch my bass Cecily!” Cliff hissed at her. “Nobody touches it!”

“Listen to me when I talk to you!” Cecily shouted. “You lied to me, you made me think that my mother no longer loves me, and you don’t even care!”

“It’s not that I don’t care,” said Cliff as he grabbed his bass back from her. “It’s that I can’t see why you would even give a shit about your mom. If I were you, I’d never want to speak with her again.”

“But she’s my Mum,” said Cecily. “She left me alone a lot, and said things, but I still want to make her proud of me. I just want to make anyone proud.” Cecily plopped down on the whicker loveseat, and rested her head on the arm of it.

Cliff finally set down his bass, and took a seat right next to her. “You make me proud Cecily,” he said.

“Because I can read well?” Cecily asked. “I think that finally impressed my Mum.”

“Well, there’s that,” said Cliff. “But it’s also really cool having a daughter who knows all of the names, birthdates, and albums of Black Sabbath, and a daughter who can sing along with me to the Misfits. It made me as proud as shitting gold when you belted out Night of the Living Dead the other day. Can you forgive me for lying to you Cecily?”

Cecily smiled at him, but only for a moment. She looked away. “I guess so,” she sighed.

“What do you mean you guess so?” shot Cliff as he fished through his pocket for his cigarettes. “I’ve been so good to you.”

“Oh don’t think that I’m not grateful,” Cecily replied. “I’m very grateful for everything that you’ve done for me. I treasure every moment that we spend together, because I’m so afraid that it’s all just an incredible dream that will end. It’s just that, why do you hate my mother so much? She’s a whore, but so are most of the girls that you’ve been with, at least that’s what Mr. James says.”

“Cecily,” Cliff began as he smoked his cigarette. “On the phone your mom told me that she said some things to you about you ruining her life and being an accident. Did she really tell you that kind of shit?”

Cecily didn’t even need to answer. He could tell by the look on her face, that indeed Claudia had said things like that to her, and for that, Cliff could never forgive her.

“She did,” Cecily nodded. “But she’s right.”

“No she isn’t,” said Cliff. “She never should have said shit like that to you.”

“Her parents threw her out because of me, and she had to drop out of school,” replied Cecily. “I did ruin her life. At least she tells me the truth, unlike you do. I’ve ruined your life too. You can’t go back into Metallica because of me.”

“I can’t go back to Metallica because Lars is being an unreasonable asshole,” said Cliff. “But James, Kirk, and I, we’ll start over. Nothing’s ruined, and we’re the ones with the good riffs. Cecily, you haven’t ruined my life, you’ve actually given it a whole new meaning, and I’m enjoying every moment of it too.” He grabbed Cecily and set her in his lap.

“That makes me feel better,” Cecily sighed. “I just wish that you didn’t hate my mother. You don’t really hate do you?”

“You want me to be truthful,” said Cliff. “I do hate her. I hate how poorly she’s treated you. I hate how rude she was to me when we first started hanging out together, I hate how she left you alone when you were so sick with the fever, and I hate how she’s said mean things to you.”

“Couldn’t you try to like her even a little?” asked Cecily. “I don’t want to go back and live with her. I’d much rather stay here with you, but couldn’t you at least kind of like my Mum?”

“Cecily,” Cliff sighed as he tried to fix one of her half falling out barrettes. “I’d do literally almost anything for you, even give up Metallica. But I will never even remotely like or tolerate your mother…”
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Raedoll
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Poor Twisted Me
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1) Lars is a DICK. I hate him.
2) JAMES YOU SCUM. Making bets with that little twaddle!?
3) Cecily is adorable when she's angry.
4) Cliff listen to your daughter when she's talking to you! ROARGH Men are DENSE!

I love how Cecily's trying to get Cliff to warm up to her mum...even though she was a bad mother she's STILL the girl's mom. Cliff, loosen up a bit. Claudia's trying to make up for it, and she is by not crying, "SEND MY DAUGHTER BACK!". That's more than plenty, and that's One thing she's done right.
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Shayi
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Bring me that horizon
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Whooohoo! Finally managed to catch up :) You know, I so so much prefer this epic to the books I read on holiday :) And yeah, it did rock there!

Everything has gone all over the place - Lars, as per usual needs a damned good walloping. I'm surprised that Aunt Josephine hasn't seen through him yet, she's always seemed to be such a perceptive ol' girl. Still, there's always time!

I can't believe that Lars and James are making a bet like that. Well. In fairness, I can believe it, I just don't particularly want to have to! Men can be such asses!

Cliff nearly got in so so much trouble there, that boy really needs to sort out his tendancies to lie. Good thing Cess is there to set him straight really - scary thought being as she is only five and he should know better, but still!

I love this story so so much, the characters are all so alive! It's absolutely incredible :)
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MissMetallica;;
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Poor Twisted Me
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in a way, claudia IS being a good mother to cecily, the way she is letting her stay in san francisco with cliff where she gets the best care, be educated and is loved by everyone there. like rae said, she could be screaming into the phone at cliff and demanding that he bring her back to denmark.

JAMES, what are you doing man! betting with lars, ah those MEN!

i could picture little cecily unplugging all cliffs stuff just so he'd talk to her. shes got guts that kid, she'll definately grow up to be a tough one. :lol:

more! need.. MORE! :D
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Thank you so much for all still reading and staying with me. :) Molto appreciated very very very much. :dance :dance :dance :dance

Yeah, men and bets, what can I say. Poor Cecily. Girl's going to grow up to be a headcase.



Chapter 79- Dinner with Metallica with Lars

“Does Lars have to stay for dinner?” Cliff asked in an annoyed tone as he reached over into the big bowl of salad that Brunhilda was making, and swiped a cherry tomato, and popped it into his mouth.

“Yes, I invited him,” replied Aunt Josephine, as she whacked Cliff’s hand away from the salad bowl. “He also informed me that you said that he could stay here for a while. Thanks for randomly renting out my home Cliff. I’m happy to house your friends, fuck, it’s been a hell of a lot livelier around here since you, James, and Cecily, moved in, but you and James seem to despise this Lars. Why on earth would you ask him to stay here?”

“He blackmailed me Aunt Jo,” said Cliff. “He said that he wouldn’t let me back into Metallica, unless I let him stay here, but James, Kirk, and I are starting our own band, so he doesn’t need to stay here anyway.”

“He’s already polished off that six pack of Molson Ice that I had bought for myself,” said Aunt Josephine. “And now, he’s into my vodka. He’ll be in no shape to drive home tonight. He’s going to stay here at least for tonight. I guess I should have Barnabas hide the absinthe, that’s just for me and my favorite nephew.”

“That’s a sweet thing to say Aunt Jo,” Cliff replied. “I really don’t want Lars staying here. He’s mean and rude to Cecily. I’m not going to put up with him hurting her, especially under my roof.”

“You mean my roof Clifford,” corrected Aunt Josephine.

“You said that I get ito inherit all when you die anyway,” Cliff replied. He helped himself to one of the breadsticks that Brunhilda had cooling on an oven rack. He took a bite out of it, frowned, and set it back on the rack. He selected another one instead.

“Really funny,” Aunt Josephine retorted. “And quit poking and picking at all of the food! No one’s going to want to eat food that you’ve already slopped all over on! I’ll make a deal with you Clifford. If Lars treats Cecily unkindly in any way, shape, or form, I’ll have Barnabas take him home. But, if he’s cordial to her, he can at least stay the night. He did put my new entertainment center together.”

“So that makes him like the pope now?” Cliff demanded. “These breadsticks are kind of weak.”

“You and James sure as hell couldn’t put it together. Here,” said Aunt Josephine as she placed the dish that held Brunhilda’s delicious (but not famous like Mrs. Hammett’s) lasagna. “Make yourself useful for once, and carry this out to the dining room table. Be careful now, it’s hot. Don’t burn yourself.”

Very carefully, Cliff made his way out to the dining room, careful not to spill out any lasagna, or burn his precious bass fingers. He scowled at the very site of Lars Ulrich’s round, sticky, face sitting at the dinner table right next to Kirk, and drinking some of his Aunt’s finest vodka.

“Did you make that lasagna Cliff?” Kirk asked, as Cliff set it on the table.

“Of course he didn’t you dick-worm!” Lars answered for Cliff. “The man can’t even make toast.”

“Fuck you Ulrich!” Cliff spat. “I’m no longer afraid of you! James, Kirk, and I are in our own band now.”

“Actually, I’ve decided to let you back into Metallica,” said Lars as he poured himself some more vodka. “Welcome back to the Metallica Family Cliff.”

“He is letting you back in Cliff,” said James. “He finally saw the light.”

“Pity,” Cliff sighed as he took the seat across from Emily at the table. “I was looking forward to getting to be able to audition and listen to some decent drummers for a change.”

“Quit being such a blow hard Cliff!” Lars snapped. “You’re such a focking dick all of the time!”
Just then, Cecily came into the room. Lars immediately jumped up out of his chair and knelt down. “Hello Cecily!” he called.

Cecily took one look at Lars, shrieked, and ran over behind Cliff’s
chair.

“Don’t let him yell and say nasty things about me Cliff!” she begged as she buried her face into his unconditioned hair.

“Don’t worry Cess,” Cliff told her. “I won’t let Lars hurt you. I’ll kick his ass.”

Lars noticed that James gave him a rather smug look from across the table as he downed the rest of his beer. Lars was not one to be intimidated. He’d show him!

“Actually Cliff,” Lars said in a superior tone. “I was planning on being rather good to Cecily. After all, she’s a very sweet and dear girl.”

Cecily burst into tears.

“Now you fucking made her cry Lars!” Cliff roared as he stood up. “You stupid fuck!”

“What the fuck did I do?” Lars shrieked. “I told her she was sweet.”

“Lars is being mean!” Cecily wailed.

“Oh quit fucking crying Cecily!” Cliff snapped at her, loosing his patience with the both of them. “For once, Lars didn’t even do anything! Do you think that Geezer Butler sits crying at the dinner table?”

Cecily, seeing that she wasn’t going to get any sympathy from Cliff, turned to Emily instead, and buried her face into her side.

“Cecily,” Lars tried again. “If you’re a good girl at dinner, maybe I’ll take you to the park tomorrow. Would you like that?”

“No!” Cecily sniffled.

“Lars, what the fuck do you want from her?” demanded Cliff. “Leave the poor girl alone.”

“I’m trying to be nice to her,” Lars shot. “Or better yet, what about tickets to the ballet?”

“I hate ballet,” Cecily sneered sullenly.

“That’s my girl,” Cliff said proudly.

“Well if you ask me, I think that she’s just being difficult,” retorted Lars.

“You can take me to the ballet Lars,” piped up Kirk as he slopped up his breadstick in tomato sauce. “I think that they’re showing Swan Lake. I’ve always wanted to see Swan Lake.

“Kirk,” said Lars. “Go get your dick checked out.”

“Uh okay,’ mumbled a slightly confused Kirk.

“Pour me some more wine Larsy-poo,” said James as he slid his wine glass across the table to Lars. James gave Lars a sly grin. There was no fucking way on the planet that Lars was going to win this one. Trips to the park, the ballet! Cecily wanted nothing to do with Lars Ulrich.

“I’d be much obliged to James,” Lars replied as he cordially filled the wine glass. He had one last battle tactic.

“Cecily,” he began. “Did I ever tell you what a pretty little girl you are?”

Cecily looked up from crying into Emily immediately. “No,” she answered as she wiped her nose. “You told me that I was practical looking.”

“You’ve turned into a very pretty little girl,” said Lars. “You’re going to be gorgeous when you get older.”

“Really?” Cecily asked. Her entire face lit up.

“You’ll have nice tits like your Mom,” added James.

“Will they be as nice as Miss Philippa’s?” asked Cecily. Philippa blushed.

“Cecily!” Cliff scolded.

“They’ll be even nicer,” said James. “

“You have lovely hair Cecily,” Lars went on. “It’s a lovely shade of auburn.”

“Really? It’s auburn?” Cecily was getting more excited by the minute. “I’ve always thought of it as just brown.”

“Lars,” Cliff interrupted. “Just what the fuck are you up to?”

“Why nothing Cliff,” replied Lars innocently. “You’re adopting Cecily, and you’re back in the band, so I’ll have to see a lot of her. I want to make friends with your future daughter.”

“Fuck that,” Cliff muttered. He never trusted Lars. He turned to Cecily. “Cecily,” he said in a very grownup tone. “Apologize to Miss Philippa for making comments about her tits at the dinner table.”

“It’s alright Cliff,” said Philippa. “I don’t mind.”

“Neither do I,” chirped James. “I could talk about Phil’s titties all night long.”

“You must be tired of that ugly purple dress that Cliff bought for you,” said Lars.

"Oh no!" Cecily replied. "It's my favorite dress in the entire world. It's the first present that Cliff ever gave me, and I'll treasure it always."

Lars rolled his eyes. Such dribble!

“How about tomorrow I take you shopping for a new dress? You can even pick it out yourself, since you don’t seem to like the ones that I pick out,” he offered.

“She doesn’t need you to buy her a new dress Lars,” said Cliff. “She has me to buy her pretty dresses and things. Ain’t that right Cess.”

Cecily stared down at her untouched lasagna. She didn’t like lasagna, another minor detail that Cliff didn’t know about. At least he didn’t put butter on her breadstick.

“If Mr. Lars bought me a pretty dress, you could save up your money to buy something nice for Miss Emily,” she said.

Cliff rolled his eyes. Couldn’t Cecily get off of this Emily kick?

“That won’t be necessary Cecily,” said Emily. “But if you need your new dress altered, I can help you out.”

“Want to go tomorrow Cecily?” Lars asked, giving James a very sly look. “You’ll need a dress for the holidays.”

Cecily went over to Cliff and gave him a hug. “May I?” she asked. “I won’t go if you don’t want me to.”

Cliff would never admit it even while stoned, but he had actually enjoyed getting Cecily her purple dress. He had been looking forward to the upcoming Christmas season so that he could take her out to find a Christmas dress. Why did Lars always have to horn in on everything anyway?”

“I don’t mean to be a dick Cess, and it was supposed to be a surprise for you, but I was already planning on taking you shopping to find a Christmas dress. However,” he said with a grin at Lars. “Lars can take you to the library tomorrow. Your books are due back, and I frankly don’t feel like going and standing there for three hours while you try and select something else to read. Actually, since Lars is taking you to the library, maybe I’ll finally get to go fishing.”

Lars sighed. He hadn’t set foot in a library in years. He hated them, the very thought of borrowing germ laden, nasty, old, moldy, books downright sickened Lars. But he had a bet going on, and one thing was certain: Lars Ulrich always wins…
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Simone
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Mistress of Puppets
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Wow!! What will Lars do now??? :o Verity must be thinking of something awful after the whole joy thing :biggrin

Cliff...KISS EMILY!!!!!!!!! YEAH!! :P I wonder if he'll Stay with Emily? Will he?? "Please Verity?" cried Cecily :lol:

Cliff will be in Metallica,Cliff will be in Metallica...again :P
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Shayi
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Bring me that horizon
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Hehehe so Lars gets to go and sit around at the library tomorrow... oh what excellent fun for him ;) Good on Cliff for getting a bit of a one up there!

Man it made me laugh seeing Lars trying to creep and suck up to Cecily. There is the problem of course that it's going to make Aunt Josephine like him more, but there we are!

Will James ever get over Phillipa's tits? I very much doubt it, I've never seen a man who thinks more with his dick than James - which does make me chuckle really. He's like a filthy college boy!

Maybe someone else will take poor Kirk to see the ballet.... as long as he doesn't go round asking to get his dick checked! That comment was superb. Much though Lars is not popular with me right now... that was excellent!

I love this so, so much... the characters just seem to get better and better - mind you I suppose the more we keep learning about them, the more alive they become. But yeah, you are a fantastic writer!
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