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| Father of the Year; Kirk is going to get even with Lars. Het. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: July 3, 2007, 9:40 pm (14,625 Views) | |
| MissMetallica;; | August 29, 2007, 3:48 am Post #271 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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oh fun! lars at the library! haha id love to see that, he'll probably end up getting the shits with cecily as she tries to choose some more books to read. taking 3 hours in the process ![]() hmm maybe lars will end up liking cecily. hmmmm a possibility ![]() ahh cant wait for more! |
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| Verity | August 30, 2007, 12:57 am Post #272 |
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The Story Girl
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Thanks everybody!!! I hope this next chapter isn't too weirded out or anything. I don't know yet, but I might not get a chance to update tomorow, but who knows? Maybe I will. Thanks for staying with me. Chapter 80- Lars's Library Outing James, Lars, and Cecily, set out for the Napa Valley Library right after lunch the next day. James was mostly going along for the ride. He wouldn’t pass up the chance to see Cecily scope out chicks for Lars for the world. Plus it was either go with Lars, or help Kirk make homemade potpourri. Lars led the parade, but he was growing impatient with Cecily, who trailed along behind him. She had picked up a stick along the way, and was scratching it along the sidewalk as she walked. “Come along now Cecily!” demanded Lars. “You dawdle so!” He turned back and yanked Cecily down the street by her arm. Cecily yelped. “Mr. Lars,” she said. “You’re hurting me.” “Then walk faster,” Lars demanded. “Cliff never makes me walk faster,” Cecily whined. “That’s because he’s stoned all the time, so he walks like a snail too!” shot Lars. “Now hurry up!” “I’m a little girl,” said Cecily. “I have little legs. I can’t walk as fast as you can. And, I have my magic stick.” Lars grabbed the stick from Cecily, and cracked it over his knee. “Now you don’t,” he snapped, and he threw the pieces of the stick aside. “Lars you ass!” James shot as he caught the look on Cecily’s devastated face. “You’re not going to cry over a focking stick Cecily, are you?” Lars asked. “Grow some balls kid.” “But I’m a girl,” replied Cecily. She wasn’t going to cry though. She didn’t want to give Lars the satisfaction. Apparently, Cliff didn’t exactly trust Lars with his favorite little girl. Cliff had even given Cecily money for a payphone if Lars kept being a dick to her. He said that she could call him, and he’d come and pick her up. “If he don’t treat you right, you just call me,” he had told her that morning as he helped her into her jacket. “Will you kick his ass?” asked Cecily. Cliff smiled. “Absolutely,” he replied. He had even asked James to make sure that Lars was always being good to Cecily. “Just hurry the fock up!” shot Lars. He wanted to pick up a chick as soon as possible, and take her back to Aunt Josephine’s pool, not spend all day walking to the library with some kid. “Mr. James,” chirped up Cecily. “Will you tell my Dad, I mean Cliff, that I don’t like lasagna?” “Yeah, sure kid,” replied James. “I don’t like it much either. Except one time, I made this three meet lasagna with beef, and pork, and venison. It was pretty bad-ass.” “Not for those of us who had to sit playing the drums right behind you it wasn’t,” shot Lars. Much to Lars’s dismay, Cecily stopped again. She bent over and picked a pretty yellow flower. “I’m going to give this to Cliff when we get home,” she announced as she buried her nose deep into the flower petals. “Cliff doesn’t like flowers,” grumbled Lars. “Of course he does!” answered Cecily dreamily. “Everybody likes flowers.” “Is this kid focking stoned?” Lars shrieked. “I’m not sure,” James admitted. “I think she just acts stoned because she’s spending so much of her time hanging around with Cliff.” “Charming,” Lars scoffed. At least they were now approaching the library. Lars trooped on into the building, not bothering to hold the door open for James or Cecily. “Now what the fock do we do?” Lars asked loudly. “Shhhhh!” the librarian scolded. She gave Lars a very disapproving look. “Don’t you know Mr. Lars?” Cecily whispered. “We’re in a library. You have to talk quietly.” “Oh for fock’s sake Cecily!” Lars declared. “It’s not like we’re in a focking church or something.” “Cliff says that the library is the church of Hemingway, Dickens, and Poe,” retorted Cecily, and she made her way over to the children’s section. “That kid is the most irritating little fucker alive,” Lars hissed loudly to James. “She’s just a female miniature version of Cliff is all,” James replied. “How many times do I have to tell you?” shrieked the librarian. “Talk quietly, and no foul language.” “We might as well be in a church,” Lars whispered to James. “Over my dead body will I hang out in the children’s section. I’m going to go see what they got over in the more grownup books.” “I’m going to check out the periodicals,” said James, with an evil glimmer in his eye. “I don’t think they keep porno mags at the libraries,” Lars shot. “They do at the one in Amsterdam,” retorted James, and he and his fabulous head of golden curls flounced off towards the periodicals room. Lars finally stumbled on the travel section, and was able to somewhat entertain himself by looking at a glossy picture book called Led Zeppelin in Pictures. Two hours later Cecily came bounding up to him, clutching her new books of the week in her arms. “You finally done?” he asked. Cecily nodded. “I can’t wait until I’m old enough to be able to check out the adult books,” said Cecily. “Cliff reads such long, thick, adult books.” Lars turned red as he pushed aside his “picture” book of Led Zeppelin. Cliff could take his big, long, thick, books and stuff them up his ass. “Let’s get out of this dump,” he snapped at her. “I need to swing by the Metallimansion and pick up my drum kit and some other shit.” Just then, Cecily saw her. A beautiful young lady, actually two young ladies though one was much younger. They were kneeling next to one of the book shelves looking at a particular book. One of them had auburn hair. “Look over there Mr. Lars!” Cecily pointed. “That lady has auburn hair. Is mine that same shade? I do hope so!” Lars could care less about the chick’s hair. He was more concerned by her taut little ass. She was wearing a beret too, and Lars found that sexy. It was tipped just off to the side of her auburn head. “Please Amy,” said the younger girl. “Please check out that book for me. I’m too young to belong to the grownup section. I can’t believe they make you wait until you’re seventeen!” “I would, but I’ve already chosen my books for the week,” Amy replied as she snapped the book closed. “How about this, I’ll check it out for you next Sunday while we’re here.” “But what if someone else checks it out during the week,” said the younger girl. She pouted. The two looked like sisters, and Amy must have had a soft spot for her little kid sister. She looked thoughtful, as she studied the book shelf that they were crouched down next to. “I have an idea,” she said. “Perhaps if we hide the book, nobody else will check it out.” “That’s brilliant Amy!” her sister exclaimed. “Let’s hide it over here, in the travel section. Nobody will ever think to look for a murder mystery there.” Amy looked around to make sure that no one was looking. She obviously didn’t notice Lars and Cecily, who were sitting behind her at the tables watching. Carefully, she slid the book right in between two larger books, and tucked it deep into the shelf. “There,” she said with satisfaction. “It should be safe until next Sunday.” “Thanks Amy,” said the other girl. “You’re the best sis in the world.” The two girls turned to leave. Amy turned around, and caught Lars staring at her. She gave him a quick and shy smile, and then hurried after her sister. “Wasn’t she devastatingly beautiful Lars?” Cecily asked. “She had permed hair. My Mum would never let me get a perm. Do you think that Cliff would let me?” “Hell no,” Lars replied. “The man barely spends two cents on his own hair, let alone on your's. She was beautiful though.” “You mean devastatingly beautiful,” corrected Cecily. “I’d sure like to tap into that,” said Lars. “But tragically, she’s already gone now, and I’ll never see her again.” He sighed and shut his picture book. What a focking wasted drippy afternoon. “You could always leave her a note,” suggested Cecily. “And just how to do propose I do that?” Lars snapped. “Hand out notes to every chick who has permed hair on the street?” Cecily pushed her loose tooth all the way to her lip with her tongue. “That’s real classy Cecily!” Lars snapped. “Let’s go find James, and get the fock out of here. I have much bigger fish to fry than dicking around here with you.” “Don’t you realize Mr. Lars, that you have the perfect way to contact Miss Amy,” Cecily piped up. She ran over to the travel section, and crouched down at one of the bookshelves, and pulled out the murder mystery that Amy’s sister had wanted to check out. She brought the book over to Lars. “You see,” she as she opened the book. “Miss Amy said that she would check out this book next Sunday. You could leave a note for her inside the book.” Lars popped a big bubble with his chewing gum, and stared at Cecily’s big green eyes. James was right. When it came to bagging chicks, the kid was a focking genius. She was almost too good to be living with a loony like Cliff. “Let’s do it,” he said and he went up to the librarian to get a sheet of paper and a pencil. The librarian frowned at Lars as she handed them to him. “Don’t be writing any obscenities in the books,” she snapped at him. “Don’t worry,” Cecily reassured her. “Mr. Lars won’t write in any of your books. He’s just trying to mend a tragically broken heart.” “Enough psychobabble Cecily,” shot Lars as he pulled her back to the tables. Lars wrote: Dear Amy, I hope that it doesn’t freak or weird you out that I know your name. I heard your sister calling you. I saw you here last Sunday, and I thought that you looked nice. I would like to get to know you better. My name is Lars, and I’m a drummer in my very own heavy metal band. If you’re interested, I’m currently sitting at one of the tables towards the back of the reading room. Fuck all, Lars Ulrich “There,” he said as he put down his pencil. He handed the note over to Cecily for her own inspection. He couldn’t believe that he was letting a focking five-year-old handle his love affairs. “Don’t sign it fuck all,” said Cecily as she handed the note back to Lars. “I think Yours Respectfully is better.” “Cecily, in case you haven’t noticed, its focking 1985,” said Lars. “We don’t talk like flowery people.” “Do you want to bang Amy or not?” Cecily retorted. “Of course I do!” answered Lars. And it wasn’t just to win a bet with James. Amy was hot, and he wanted her. “Then sign it Yours Respectfully,” said Cecily. With a heavy sigh, Lars erased “fuck all,” and changed it to “Yours Respectfully.” Then he carefully folded up the note, slipped it deep into the pages of the book, and inserted back into the same place that Amy had stashed it earlier. He really did hope that she would find it. “I hope this works,” he sighed. “It damn well better, because now I’m focking stuck taking you to this banal place again next Sunday.” “That’s fine with me Mr. Lars,” said Cecily. “Isn’t the library one of the most wonderful places in the world? And just think, I may have even helped you get laid just like I helped Cliff and Mr. James. When are you guys going to start paying me for all of my help?” “Paying you for your help?” Lars repeated sardonically. “And just how much do you want us to pay you?” “You don’t have to give me money,” Cecily said thoughtfully as she played with her loose tooth. “Just promise me something.” “What’s that Cecily?” Lars asked, rolling his eyes. “You must promise,” began Cecily. “To never fire Mr. Cliff from Metallica again.” Lars Ulrich couldn’t help but smile. So what if the kid talked like she was stoned half of the time. At least she knew how to cut herself a deal. "Alright," he sighed as he popped a bubble with his chewing gum, and shook Cecily's tiny hand. "You're a tough little fucker, you know that?" "Really? Mummy says that I'm rather weak and sickly because I faint sometimes," Cecily shrugged. "I haven't fainted since coming to San Francisco, but I'm worried that I'll faint in front of Cliff one day, and then he won't want me anymore. Nobody wants a daughter that faints." "Cecily, I don't think that there's anything that you could do that would make Cliff not want you anymore," said Lars. "Well, maybe if you took a giant shit on his bass or something like that." This made Cecily and Lars both giggle, and the librarian had to hush them once again. "What are you two fucks laughing at?" demanded James as he came up to them, unhappy that the Napa Valley library did not carry porn. "Mr. Lars might be getting some puss," reported Cecily eloquently. James let out a low whistle, and shook his head. "Leave it to Lars fucking Ulirch to go to the library to pick up chicks..." |
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| MissMetallica;; | August 30, 2007, 2:30 am Post #273 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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hahahahha good work cecily, lars might actually start liking her now! yay. i can just see lars yelling in the library. gosh lars, its a library... EVERYONE knows your supposed to be quiet in the library. ![]() james looking for porn in the library oh typical james. i wonder if he found some.no need to thank us for staying with you on the story, its hard NOT to want to read it we should be the ones thanking you.so THANKYOU for being such a great writer and writing such a fab story.
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| Shayi | August 30, 2007, 3:47 am Post #274 |
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Bring me that horizon
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"Cecily, I don't think that there's anything that you could do that would make Cliff not want you anymore," said Lars. "Well, maybe if you took a giant shit on his bass or something like that." ^ Man that made me laugh - So so true though of course! I don't think that Cecily could do anything to make Cliff not want her And I am very, very impressed by her cunning in helping the Metallica men pick up chicks It seems that (aside from James and his magic dick of course) they all need plenty of help in that direction! And no - this one wasn't too weirded out! I love the fact that Cecily is a mini-Cliff.... but with plenty of subtle differences to keep things interesting So many people when they're writing fics don't bother to round out their own characters, but all of yours just spring out of the story 3d and ready to rock. Another reason that I think you are a superb writer and love following your stories Looking forward to the next update whenever it may be
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| Raluque | August 30, 2007, 5:37 am Post #275 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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back from vacation and... lookie here: loads of updates for me to catch up on. yaaayy! great story! i'm so glad cliff decided to keep cecily. they're the beste together! great job on writing cecily. she is more grown up than all the met guys together, unless we multiply james and lars by three i'm glad that claudia finally realised what's best for her daughter. cecily is far better off with cliff. and she really is a genius! picking up dates for the guys... most men really are a lost cause when it comes to picking up women... keep up the great writing! i really love it!
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| Simone | August 30, 2007, 8:04 am Post #276 |
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Mistress of Puppets
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Cecily talks just like Cliff...bang...puss...brilliant! She rather seems stoned Verity,every chapter surprises me more and more! :horns2
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| Raedoll | August 30, 2007, 8:29 am Post #277 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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Oh goodness. Well, at least Cecily knows how to get a deal setup. Lol Lars makes a good point. Cecily is so sweet on Cliff, she really loves him like a father and Clif really love sher as a daughter. It's just that grownups need time for themselves sometimes and I think Cecily's going to start slowly understanding that. I hope she does, I don't want her to feel like Cliff's abandoning her to go be off with his friends. Meh, that would make Cliff feel like a jackass. I hope Lars can score a date at the least, that way he can't break Cecily's promise. I'm really enjoying this, I love how everybody thinks that Cecily's stoned. She's not! lol. And it's cool how she just...well, she's very defined as a person for a five year old. But that's still awesome. I knew a few people who knew who they were for a long while at a young age. <3 eagerly waiting for more. |
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| Verity | August 30, 2007, 3:50 pm Post #278 |
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The Story Girl
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Thanks for the reviews lady. They really help me, and make me feel good, especially on a for shit day. Ugh. Everything sucks right now. My mom and husband are at each other's throats, and I'm on the verve of wanting to kill me friend. She just really really let me down, and even though it's her problem I take the blame for it all. Life can sure suck It should be a happy day but it's not. I'm glad that y'all like this story, at least that's one thing I got going for me. |
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| Verity | August 30, 2007, 5:40 pm Post #279 |
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The Story Girl
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I'm trying to mellow out a little, so I wrote another chapter in one sitting. It's kind of cheesy and corny, but bleh, I'm in a mood. I think y'all are right though, Cecily does seem older than 5. Or else she's just very very mature. Chapter 81- Tea with Social Services “Just remember Lars you only have one week to get your ass laid, or else the fifty bucks is mine,” James reminded as the trio made their way back to Aunt Josephine’s villa. “You can’t just cop out a feel from this Amy chick. You have to go the whole nine yards.” “I’m well aware of that James,” replied Lars as he pushed open the door to the villa. “She smiled at me before she left. The chick wants me bad.” Lars had every confidence that if Amy did get the note that he had left in the book, that he’d definitely win the bet. After all, he was Lars Ulrich. The three trooped inside the villa. “Cliff! Cliff!” Cecily yelped as she ran into Cliff’s arms, happy to be back home to him. Cliff was very relieved to have Cecily back. Visions of Lars beating the shit out of her, or selling her off as a sex slave, had haunted his mind all day. “Did Lars treat you right?” Cliff asked as he hugged her. “He didn’t try and pull any bullshit with you?” “Mr. Lars was alright,” Cecily admitted. “After we went to the library he even bought me a snow cone.” “Are you sure that he didn’t pull any shit?” Cliff asked, amazed that Lars was conducting himself so nicely. What was with the good behavior all of the sudden? “Fuck off Burton!” snapped Lars as he played with his chewing gum. “Damn, how you cross examine the poor girl! I would hate to see how you’re going to act when she starts dating.” “Cliff says that I can’t date until I’m like thirty-two,” said Cecily. “Cliff,” she said very very sweetly. “May I get my hair permed? Please?” “Absolutely not!” Cliff snapped. “No perms. No dating. At least not until you spring some tits, which won’t be for a while.” “But Miss Emily, and Philippa, and Amy all have perms,” argued Cecily. “They aren’t five years old, and they all have tits,” Cliff scoffed. “Very nice tits,” added James. “Besides,” said Cliff as he lit himself a cigarette. “Your hair is curly enough as is.” “But not permed curls,” Cecily reminded him. It was pretty clear that Cliff wasn’t going to budge with his verdict, so she began to play with her loose tooth instead. “That little fucker still hasn’t fallen out yet?” Cliff asked. Cecily shook her head. “Is it supposed to have?” she asked. “It’s my first loose tooth ever.” “Want me to rip it out for you?” Cliff offered. “I have strong bass hands. I could do it in a heartbeat. We can numb you up first with a shot of tequila. That’s what my Dad used to do to me before he’d pull my teeth.” “Then why didn’t you call your bass solo Tequila Pulling Teeth?” James asked. “James, shut the fuck up!” Cliff retorted, rolling his eyes. He turned back to Cecily. It would be quite fun to rip out the little fucker’s tooth. “Want to give it a whirl?” “No!” Cecily shrieked, and she went running off into the other room. *** The very next day, Cliff got a phone call that he knew he would soon be getting, but at the same time it frightened him. It was social services. They wanted to meet him, and see how he interacted with Cecily. “Do you think that you could meet with us tomorrow afternoon after Cecily gets out of school?” Asked Miss Thelma, the social services lady. “We just want to see if the child seems happy, and well adjusted. You had three glowing letters of recommendation, though the one from a James Hetfield, was a little um unconventional.” “Yeah,” Cliff muttered. “Sorry about that.” “Could you two meet me at my office at three-thirty?” Miss Thelma asked. “Sure,” Cliff replied. As he put down the phone, he began to feel very nervous. One mistake and he could loose Cecily forever, and was not going to let that happen. Cliff went up to Cecily’s room and pawed through her neat and tidy closet, much neater than his ever was. He selected the skirt and top set that Emily had bought for her, and brought it down to Brunhilda to be cleaned and pressed, so that Cecily would look her very best. That evening, poor little Cecily was given one of Kirk’s famous milk baths, and Aunt Josephine scrubbed her until her skin practically glowed pink. After the bath, she wrapped Cecily up in one of her soft, pink, terrycloth bathrobes, and set Cecily’s hair in big, thick, curlers. “I have to sleep in these?” Cecily asked her. Aunt Josephine nodded. “Yes dear, but only for tonight,” she replied. “They’ll make your hair look pretty and wavy tomorrow, instead of wild and messy like it usually does.” “Is Cliff going to wear curlers to bed too?” Cecily asked. “No, I’m afraid that he’s not,” said Aunt Josephine. “But his hair looks wild and messy too,” said Cecily. “We’ll give him another deep conditioning pack to use,” said Aunt Josephine. “And a hairbrush. Tomorrow will be a very critical day for the both of you. If Social Services see something that they don’t like, we’ll loose you.” She gave Cecily a big hug, she had groan fond of her little pretend grandniece. That night, as he was tucking her into bed, Cecily tried one last time to get the curlers out of her hair. They were quite uncomfortable, especially, while lying down on her pillow. “You’re not going to make me sleep in these curlers,” she whined. “Are you Cliff?” “It must royally blow ass, but yeah, I’m going to make you,” he replied as he pulled the blankets over her. “You won’t let me get a perm, but you’re making me wear curlers anyway?” Cecily asked as she played with her loose tooth. She could now push it all the way so that it touched the back of her lip. “There’s a difference Cecily, “Cliff sighed. “You don’t want one of those perms. You’ll look like a poodle, just like Kirk.” “No, I’d be pretty like Miss Emily,” answered Cecily. “Cecily, you are pretty,” Cliff told her. “And tomorrow I’m going to show those twats over at Social Services just how proud I am of my Cecily.” *** At three o’clock sharp, Cliff picked Cecily up from school. As she trotted over to his car, Cliff had to admit that he had her looking very well kept indeed. Emily always knew which clothes seemed to look best on Cecily, and very long hair hung in loose waves. He had fucked around for an extra hour that morning trying to get her barrettes in straight. Cliff actually looked pretty nice himself. He had even conditioned his hair, and Kirk sat there brushed it until it shone like a copper penny. He had also lent Cliff his spiffy denim blazer once again, since that was the closest thing that Cliff ever got to getting dressed up. “Are you ready?” he asked, as he helped Cecily throw her backpack into the car’s backseat. “I have something for you,” she said. Cecily took off a plastic, colorful, rainbow bracelet, and slipped it over Cliff’s wrist. Since it was on an elastic band, it did just barely go over the bassist’s wrist, even though he did have much bigger wrists than Cecily did. “I made this bracelet just for you in school today,” she said. “You can wear it to your next Metallica gig, and it will bring you good luck. Promise that you’ll wear it?” “Um yeah, always,” Cliff stammered looking at the arsenal of pussiness that had now been bestowed upon his wrist. “Thanks Cess.” Plastic rainbow bracelet, Cliff thought to himself. That will go swimmingly with my skull ring. “I’m glad you like it,” Cecily returned as she gave Cliff a hug. “It will also bring you good luck today as well, but I don’t think that you’ll need it much.” “Why is that?” Cliff asked as he stuffed a stick of gum into his mouth, he was trying to make it through the day without cigarettes. “Because,” said Cecily, as she straightened Cliff’s bracelet. “You’re the greatest Dad in the entire world.” “Awww,” Cliff said as he blushed. “You make my job easy be being such a wonderful daughter.” (Okay I’ll stop the pukey stuff now) *** The Social Services people were up on the tenth floor of one of downtown San Francisco’s office buildings. As they rode up the elevator, Cecily began to play with her tooth. “It’s starting to hurt a little,” she groaned. “Come on Cess,” said Cliff. “Let me rip it out for you. It’ll be great fun.” “For you it will be,” retorted Cecily. Miss Thelma was a lot kinder and gentler looking than Cliff and Cecily had pictured her to be. She looked to be about in her fifties or even sixties, but she dyed her hair a fabulous shade of reddish chestnut, so she looked younger. “Why hi there,” she greeted as Cliff and Cecily trooped into her office. She smiled at Cecily. “You must be Cecily,” she said as she offered the little girl her hand. “Yes Ma’am,” Cecily said politely as she curtseyed. “How do you do?” Miss Thelma smiled and turned to Cliff. “And you must be Cliff,” she said. “That’s me,” Cliff nodded. He shakily took her hand. His hands were shaking because he hadn’t had any nicotine today. Aunt Josephine hadn’t allowed him to even smoke before leaving to pick up Cecily. She had claimed that they would be able to smell it on him. He was also starting to get a slight nicotine deprivation headache. “I have the table set up for tea,” said Miss Thelma as she shook Cliff’s hand. “Why don’t you two come sit down.” Cecily’s eyes lit up at the idea of having tea again. Cliff rolled his eyes. Since when was it commonplace to have tea all of the fucking time. “I noticed that Cecily is doing very well in school,” Miss Thelma commented as they were seated. “She’s a smart girl,” said Cliff. “Mr. Cliff helps me with my homework every night,” Cecily added. “And when he can’t help me, Brunhilda does.” “Brunhilda?” Miss Thelma asked. “The cook,” said Cecily. “She’s really good at math.” “That sounds good,” Miss Thelma nodded in approval. She began to pass around a plate of tea cakes and cookies. She turned to Cliff. “You play in a band right?” “I do,” Cliff nodded as he selected a cookie. “Do you have to be on the road a lot?” “Yes,” Cliff answered uncomfortably. “But my aunt has offered to keep an eye on her while I’m away. We’re currently living in her home, so Cecily wouldn’t have to be displaced at all.” “Aunt Josephine takes me shopping,” said Cecily, trying to help. “Did she buy you that adorable outfit that you’re wearing?” Miss Thelma asked. “No, Miss Emily bought it,” answered Cecily. “Who’s she?” “Cliff’s sort of lady friend,” Cecily elaborated. “She’s really pretty, and she smells like roses.” Miss Thelma turned back to Cliff. “Is this Miss Emily kind of like a mother figure to Cecily?” she asked. “I guess so,” Cliff mumbled as he drenched his tea in milk to make it somewhat drinkable. “I like the sound of that,” said Miss Thelma. “I would hate for the girl to grow up without a strong, female, mother figure to guide her. Do you plan on keeping this Miss Emily around?” “Oh yes,” Cliff nodded. “Emily is wonderful. We’re in a really solid relationship.” He gave the surprised Cecily a look that told her to keep her mouth shut. “That sounds lovely,” replied Miss Thelma. She held out the plate of tea cakes and cookies to Cecily. Cecily decided to choose one of the cookies because Cliff had chosen one. As soon as she bit into it, she knew she had made a big mistake. Her loose tooth fell right out into her tea. Cliff and Miss Thelma were staring at her in bewilderment. Cecily could feel her cheeks growing hot, and her eyes starting to burn with tears. Oh no, she thought. Loosing a tooth at the tea table is a very impolite thing to do! Now they’ll send me back to Denmark for sure… |
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| Raedoll | August 30, 2007, 8:05 pm Post #280 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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Poor Cecily!!!!! It's not corny and cheesy at all, I love it. Cliff is such a hardass, lol. Description is FUNNY. “Um yeah, always,” Cliff stammered looking at the arsenal of pussiness that had now been bestowed upon his wrist. “Thanks Cess.” Plastic rainbow bracelet, Cliff thought to himself. That will go swimmingly with my skull ring. That will forever be burned into my head as one of my favorite descriptions EVER. Oh my gawsh. Lol. And the thought of Cliff sleeping in curlers. *snerk* Anyway I'm seriously digging this. Tea with Social Services is interesting, and poor Cecily losing a tooth straight into her tea cup!!! Oh noes! Will she flip out? Or will Cess play it cool and Cliff say, "Hey, now we can put this under your pillow!" The social services lady would probably find that Darling. I lurve Cliff and Cecily together. Adorable. |
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| Shayi | August 31, 2007, 4:02 am Post #281 |
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Bring me that horizon
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Arsenal of pussiness. That is one of the best phrases I have ever heard. Excellent, it really made me chuckle I'm sorry to hear about all the family shit going on. Great though they are, families have a knack of causing trouble! I hope that everything does sort itself out asap. How much tea can they drink? (Personally I'd say gallons, I'm a tea freak). I love the way that they got all brushed up and dressed up for Social Services, especially the fact that Cliff had to borrow Kirk's jacket again. Man, he tries so hard to be badass, but deep down Cliff is so sweet. Not quite marshmallow sweet like Kirk, but getting there! And Cecily's tooth falling out in her tea! The mortification! Reminds me of when I was really small and eating some fruit pastilles at Sunday school, next thing I knew one of my loose teeth was in it and there was blood everywhere.... yes I was embarressed I hope that the latest Cliff-lie is not going to backfire on him - if they choose to meet Emily will she play along? At least for Cecily's sake.... Amazing story, I love it so, so very much
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| Simone | August 31, 2007, 5:11 am Post #282 |
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Mistress of Puppets
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Aww poor Cess!!! they won't take you back to Denmark!!! I hope so Verity again,you rock girl!! Can't wait to see a new chapter! Believe me I think this would be a great book!! if you know someone who writes you can tell him/her to see what you wrote! Seeing your book in a store would be kickass!! :horns2
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| MissMetallica;; | August 31, 2007, 10:05 am Post #283 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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aww that last bit with the tooth falling out was so cute. and cliff wanting to rip it out was great! i can totally picture this all happening. so real! not corny or cheesy at all, i liked it alot. i hope your family problems sort out soon, its the worst having to sit through the people you love fight and bicker at each other like children. the social services lady sounds nice. and she'd better let cliff keep cecily *shakes fist* ![]() cant wait for more.
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| Verity | August 31, 2007, 11:36 pm Post #284 |
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The Story Girl
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I'm glad that y'all appreciated the arsenal of pussiness. That really made my day that you ladies appreciate that. My family seems to be getting along better. I'll be happier monday when I leave though. Sorry for the bad chapter title though, I couldn't think of anything better to call it really. Chapter 82- Washing the Dishes with Crabs (Bad Chapter Title) Cecily had no idea what to do. No one, not even Cliff had told her what to do upon loosing a tooth right into your tea cup. She could feel Miss Thelma and Cliff staring at her. Cecily’s heart pounded as she fought to hold back tears. She couldn’t cry. If she did, they would for sure want to send her back to Denmark. “Oh,” was all that Cecily could manage to say as she stared at that the tooth floating in her teacup. She could taste the salty taste of blood in her mouth, and her tongue went straight to the new hole that was now in her gum. It was her first lost tooth. “I’m so sorry,” she finally managed to say. To Cecily’s surprise, Miss Thelma and Cliff started laughing. What the fuck was so funny? She had just humiliated herself in front of Social Services. “I guess I won’t get to pull your tooth out for you after all,” laughed Cliff. “I was really looking forward to it too.” “We’ll fix you a new toothless cup of tea,” Miss Thelma said. “Keep your tooth though.” “Why would I want to keep my tooth?” Cecily asked. “To put under your pillow of course,” Miss Thelma told her. “You’ll get money under your pillow. Fuck, Cliff thought. Now I have to fucking scrounge up enough change for the little fucker. How come nobody left me any money after James knocked one of my teeth out after that show in Chicago where I stuffed a cue stick up his ass? All I got was a lecture from Flemming, and a trip to a hack dentist’s office for a crown. “Will it be a lot of money?” asked Cecily, perking up a little. “No,” Cliff told her firmly. “Oh drats,” sighed Cecily. “I was hoping that it would be a lot of money so that I could have bought you a rainbow colored amp cable.” “Oh Cecily you’re so sweet,” Cliff replied. “But I don’t need a rainbow amp cable.” “Why not?” Cecily asked. “Wouldn’t it make you happy?” “I think that I have quite enough rainbow shit,” said Cliff. He wrapped up some of the ice that was in his water glass in his napkin, and handed it to Cecily. “After loosing a tooth it might feel good to suck on this,” he told her. “Is it sore?” “A little,” Cecily nodded, as she took the ice. “Thank you Cliff.” “You’re welcome Sweetheart,” Cliff replied as he gave Cecily a little squeeze. “Just think, now you’ll be able to resume whistling lessons with Kirk.” “Oh I do hope so!” said a much happier Cecily. “I want to be able to whistle Iron Man. Do you think that Geezer Butler ever lost a tooth when he was my age?” “Of course,” Cliff replied as he laughed. “Oh Cecily, whatever am I going to do with you?” “Let me get a perm?” Cecily suggested. Cliff shook his head but he was smiling and looked amused. “I think that I’ve seen all that I need to see Mr. Burton,” piped up Miss Thelma as she stood up from the table. “Really?” Cliff asked. “That’s it?” Thelma nodded. “We haven’t made a decision, we will still want to meet with your aunt, Cecily’s teacher, this Mr. Hetfield character, and your girlfriend Emily, but I’ve seen all that I need to see. You two love each other more than most blood related fathers and daughters do. I really do hope that the courts will grant you custody Mr. Burton. You deserve it.” “Thanks,” Cliff mumbled, as he shook Miss Thelma’s hand. It didn’t feel like that much of a victory. He wasn’t worried about Cecily’s teacher, and even Aunt Josephine would be fine as long as she wasn’t stoned or something. What Cliff was worried about was James and Emily. He was worried about Emily because she certainly wasn’t his girlfriend, actually they weren’t on the best of terms at the moment, and he was worried about James because, well you ladies know. *** That night after dinner, Cliff and James were ordered to clear the dinner table. Josephine liked to give Brunhilda a little bit of a break, and since she was housing all of Metallica, she now had plenty of extra hands to pitch in. Tonight however, was Cliff and James’s night to clear off the dinner table, load the dishwasher, and scrub the pots and pans. Lars was off in the living room with Aunt Josephine watching Dallas. Cecily sat at the kitchen island diligently working on her spelling. “You wash, I’ll dry,” Cliff commanded as he chose a dishrag. “Why can’t I dry the dishes?” asked James. “Because,” said Cliff in a haughty tone. “Scrubbing dishes in all of that dishwater will ruin my calluses.” He held up his hand for James to see. “Calluses?” snorted James. “How the fuck did you get calluses?” “Some people actually practice their instrument James,” Cliff retorted as he dried a sauce pan. “I practice my instrument,” retorted James as he submerged a muffin tin into the dishwater. “I’m just talking about a different kind of instrument, and it did give me calluses, just not on my fingers.” “James, what are you talking about?” Cliff asked. He peered over Cecily’s shoulder. “Cecily, you’re spelling “pretty” incorrectly.” “I have crabs Cliff,” James announced proudly as if this was a grand accomplishment. “What are crabs?” Cecily asked as she frowned at her spelling book. “They’re these little tiny lice-like things that-” James started but Cliff cut him off “Never mind Cecily,” said Cliff. “Just worry about spelling “pretty” correctly. The I should be an E Cess.” “Crabs sure aren’t pretty,” James muttered as he scrubbed a casserole dish with one hand, and scratched his nutsack with the other. “This is why I’m nervous about you meeting with Social Services,” admitted Cliff. “You can’t be talking about crabs and shit in front of them. It was hard, but I did manage to refrain from swearing while we were having tea.” “Actually, you did say “shit” once,” piped up Cecily. “You said that you didn’t need anymore rainbow shit.” “Cecily, just shut the fuck up and work on your spelling,” Cliff demanded. He looked at his plastic rainbow bracelet that was now a permanent fixture on his wrist and rolled his eyes. “Don’t you worry Cliffy,” said James. “I promise that I won’t mention my dick even once while the Social Services people interview me.” “You can’t mention your dick, or the oodles of puss that you’ve gotten, or Philippa’s tits,” Cliff said firmly. “Even if they are the best fucking tits on the planet.” “You have my promise Cliff,” said James. He waved his scrub brush through the air. “Cross my heart, hope to die if I lie.” “Thanks James,” replied Cliff. “Now I just have to worry about Emily. She’s never going to pretend to be my girlfriend.” “No, but she does think that you’re good for Cecily,” said James. “She has to be my girlfriend though,” Cliff said. “I elaborated some things, and the Social Services chick thinks that we’re actually together.” “Elaborated?” Cecily snorted. “You flat out lied Cliff!” “Well miss smart pants,” Cliff scoffed. “You spelled “chair” wrong. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” “I can’t wait to smoke Cliff,” said Cecily. “Will you teach me how to smoke soon?” “No,” Cliff snapped. “You’re never even going to touch a cigarette.” “But you do it,” pointed out Cecily. “I want to be like you.” “Trust me kid,” said James. “You don’t want to be like Ole Cliffy here. Try and be more like me.” “You want her to have crabs James?” Cliff declared as he threw down his dish towel. “Cecily, you’re all that’s good in the world. You’re too sweet to be smoking. I said that when you’re fifteen, I’ll let you do some weed with me, but that’s it.” “Yes sir,” Cecily quipped, and went back to her spelling. “I bet that if you played your cards right you could get that Emily chick in the sack with you,” said James. Cliff snorted as he lit himself a cigarette. “Yeah right,” he scoffed. “You two were kissing like mother fuckers the other day,” James reminded him. “It got a little interrupted by Lars, but still.” “She’s into Hammett,” said Cliff. “I guess that she likes effeminate little pussies.” “Mr. Kirk is clean shaven and he smells nice,” said Cecily. “And he’s hopelessly dreamy.” Cliff looked over Cecily’s shoulder hoping to find another misspelled word to chastise her on, but Cecily had done the rest of her homework correctly. “I think you need to start over with that Emily chick,” said James. “Give her a call, and ask her out. Who knows? You two might even click, and then you wouldn’t be lying to Social Services anymore. Plus, you’d be getting laid by a smoking hot broad.” “I don’t know James,” Cliff sighed. “She’s staying at Kirk’s house. Wouldn’t it be weird calling her at Kirk’s house? Especially since she fancies him?” “Cliff, last year you participated in an orgy with myself, Scott Ian, three chicks, a dog, a chiropractor and a priest. Nothing should be weird to you anymore.” “Damn,” said Cecily as she shook her head. “You two get around.” “That we do,” Cliff admitted. “And don’t say “damn” Cess. You’re not selling cod droppings on the street.” He turned to James. “Alright, I’m going to call her. Fuck Kirk Hammett.” “I’d love to,” Cecily sighed dreamily as she closed up her spelling book. “James, get her the fuck out of here,” Cliff snarled as he picked up the phone and dialed the Hammett’s phone number. He was hoping that Emily would answer. He certainly didn’t want Kirk to answer. It would be weird having him answer, and asking for Emily. To Cliff’s relief, Kirk’s mom answered. “Hello,” he said. “It’s Cliff, Kirk’s friend. Is Emily around?” “Why hello Clifford,” Mrs. Hammett said in a very friendly manner. “Did my Kirk Lee wear the long underwear that I sent to him in Denmark?” Cliff frowned. He wanted to speak with Emily, not discuss Kirk Hammett’s underwear. “Um, I’m not sure,” Cliff said truthfully. It’s not like he was that in sync with Kirk’s underwear habits. “Could you keep an eye on him and make sure that he does?” Mrs. Hammett asked. “My Kirk Lee has to wear it from September until the end of May. It prevents the consumption.” “Yes Ma’am,” Cliff answered politely. “Is Emily there?” “My Kirk Lee told me that you don’t eat properly,” Mrs. Hammett prattled on. “You should come over to my house sometime. I’ll cook for you.” “Okay,” Cliff mumbled. “I need to speak with Emily.” “Do you like baklava?” Mrs. Hammett asked. “No, actually I don’t,” said Cliff testily. He was growing impatient. “I’ll make you some, and I’ll send it over with Kirk when he goes to your house to rehearse,” said Mrs. Hammett. “Mrs. H,” Cliff said in a desperate tone. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t have much time. Can I please speak with Emily?” Mrs. Hammett bit her lip. She hated lying to Cliff. After all, Kirk had spoken very highly of him. He had kept Kirk in good company while in Denmark, and somewhat protected him from Lars and James’s bullying. She didn’t want to flat out lie to him, but obviously she couldn’t seem to distract him from asking about Emily. She really hated to do this, especially after changing the initials on the poignant love note that he had sent Emily, but she had no choice. She was a mother, and Kirk Lee was her first and foremost priority, not Cliff. “Actually,” she began. “Emily is not here. She and Kirk Lee went out for an Italian dinner and a movie.” “Oh,” Cliff stammered. “When will she be back?” “I’m not sure,” replied Mrs. Hammett. “Last night they were out until three.” Cliff’s heart sank. If Emily was banging Kirk there was no way that she would even pretend to be Cliff’s girlfriend. Social Services would find out that he had again lied, and Cecily would be floating off to Denmark. “Is there anything else that I can help you with Clifford?” asked Mrs. Hammett. “No Ma’am,” Cliff mumbled, and he hung up the phone without even saying goodbye. “Who was that?” Emily asked as she entered Mrs. Hammett’s kitchen. She had just returned from getting herself some takeout to eat by herself in front of the TV, without Kirk at home. “It was no one dear,” said Mrs. Hammett as put on the tea kettle. “Nobody important…” |
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| MissMetallica;; | September 1, 2007, 12:01 am Post #285 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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oh no. mrs. hammett no! you need to let cliff talk to emily but i suppose its just her motherly instinct to make sure that her kirk lee is happy and get's emily. haha james getting crabs was bound to happen and he was actually proud of getting them haha that made me laugh. watch out philippa, you might catch them if you're not careful.im glad the social services lady said that to cliff, and im really anxious to see if he gets custody or not. oh i hope he does. ![]() that title for this chapter was good. very clever.:) its good to hear that your family is getting on a bit better now. cant wait for more ![]() |
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we should be the ones thanking you.

8:42 PM Jul 10