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| Father of the Year; Kirk is going to get even with Lars. Het. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: July 3, 2007, 9:40 pm (14,623 Views) | |
| Simone | September 5, 2007, 4:40 am Post #301 |
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Mistress of Puppets
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Lovely chapter!!! Cliffy giving up for Cecily wow! he really loves her Can't wait for another update!!! AND! Have fun with the traveling!! :horns2
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| Verity | September 5, 2007, 7:36 pm Post #302 |
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The Story Girl
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Awww. Thanks for the reviews. I have had to cut back on my caffeine intake so I’m having a rough time. But I’m not dunking my head underwater though, at least not yet. Thank you guys for still reading this. And my travels are going very well. I’m having a blast, and have met some cool people. I wish I had more time to read all of the wonderful fics on here that I have been reading. Chapter 86 Just Pretending - Meanwhile, Emily and Ernestine were enjoying their tea, well sort of. “These lemon snaps are bad,” Ernestine whined as she frowned at the cookie that Emily had offered her. “I’m not as good at baking as Mrs. Hammett is,” Emily admitted. “Ugh, I hate that about Kirk’s Mom,” said Ernestine. “She’s always making these awful, fatty, desserts that she’s constantly pushing down me. The woman is going to give my Kirk Lee diabetes. When he’s with me I don’t let him have any sugar or that diet coke shit that he drinks.” So that’s why Kirk has a slight obsession with cookies, cakes, and diet coke, Emily thought to herself. Poor guy. Between his mother worrying about him getting the consumption, and his girlfriend worried about diabetes, how does the guy have any fun at all?” “I really don’t think that Kirk’s in any danger of getting diabetes,” Emily said with a shrug. “He’s a big boy perfectly capable of making his own dining choices.” “You’re fucking kidding right?” Ernestine asked as she lit a cigarette, ignoring Mrs. Hammett’s no smoking rule in her home. “If Kirk didn’t have me in his life to take care of him, he would fall apart. He needs me. His kidneys would shut down! When he’s with that infernal band that he’s in, all they do is drink and eat the worst shit. That Cliff fellow that he hangs around with is a horrible influence on my Kirk Lee. Did you know that he once gave my Kirk a can of that cheese in the spray can and a shot of Jager for dinner?” “Cliff is starting to learn how to take care of others very well,” said Emily. “He’s always been good to Kirk.” “So are you banging him too?” Ernestine asked as she grounded out her cigarette in one of Mrs. Hammett’s delicate china tea cups that had orchids hand painted on it. “What!” Emily squealed. “I’m not banging anybody! I’m not that kind of girl.” “Yeah right,” scoffed Ernestine. “You expect me to believe that? James didn’t decide to fly you to the U.S. for no reason. You’re the band ho, and trust me, once they get tired of you they’ll cast you away and find a new ho. They do shit like that all of the time. You’re just another cheap and easy lay for them, and that’s all they value you as.” “I haven’t even been with any of them!” Emily defended hotly. She could feel her cheeks growing hot with anger. “I’m here for one reason, and that was to help take Cecily back to Denmark. Now that she is going to be staying with Cliff, I don’t have to do that, so I’m just staying here to see some of the sights. I’ve never been to San Francisco before.” “No one is going to give Cliff a kid to take care of,” Ernestine laughed. “He’ll give her Jagermeister and that spray can cheese. He’ll end up killing the poor girl.” Ernestine was just awful. Awful and irritating. She didn’t even know how a doll like Kirk could even put up with such a sour bitch. At that momenttThe phone rang, and Emily answered it. “Hey Emily,” said Kirk’s cheery voice. “We’re having dinner again at Aunt Josephine’s. You’re more than welcome to come. She said the more the merrier.” Emily looked at Ernestine who was picking at her nails and smiled. Surely Ernestine wouldn’t like it that he was inviting her over to dinner. Kirk deserved much better than Ernestine, and Emily was going to get rid of her once and for all. “Sure Kirk,” she replied. “You don’t mind if I bring a friend along. Do you?” *** “Miss Emily is here!” Cecily announced happily. “I can’t wait to show her where I lost my tooth. She has some other lady with her, Wow. She’s really pretty too.” Cliff took a sip from the diet coke that he was drinking to ward off his nicotine shakes. He looked out the window and frowned. “That’s Ernestine, Kirk’s girlfriend. She may be pretty, but she’s a fucking gnarly bitch who doesn’t like the Misfits. Learn how not to be from her.” “I set Emily a place at the table right next to me,” Kirk said happily as he came into the room. “How’s the quitting smoking going Cliff? You feeling alright? I could fix you a hot water bottle.” Cliff grunted and took another sip of diet coke. “Don’t fuck with me,” he snarled. “And uh does Ernestine know that Emily is sitting next to you tonight.” “Ernestine?” Kitk repeated. “What does she have to do with anything?” “She’s here,” Cliff said as he watched his hand random tremor. This quitting smoking could really fuck up his bass playing if he couldn’t control the shakes. To Kirk’s horror, there was Ernestine, walking up the porch steps with Emily. How in the hell did those two meet? This was awful! Those two weren’t supposed to ever know about each other. “The girls made their way inside the house. “Hello Ernestine baby,” Kirk greeted. He gave Emily a quick nod. Emily just shrugged. “Oh Kirk Lee!” Ernestine sighed as she wrapped herself in Kirk’s arms claiming him as her own. “How I’ve missed you so. I’ve had to spend the entire afternoon hanging around with Emily, and it has been just awful.” “I’m here with you now baby,” said Kirk as he affectionately ran his fingers through her hair. “Don’t touch my hair Kirk,” Ernestine shot. She gave Kirk a great big kiss. “Gee Ernestine,” Cliff piped up. “You sure do claim your territory. Are you going to lift your leg and take a piss on him too?” “Fuck you Cliff,” Ernestine replied in disgust. “I’m not even going to waste my time talking to you.” “But Cliff is a lot of fun to talk to,” Cecily chirped. “Even if he does say a lot of really weird shit when he’s stoned.” She looked up at Cliff and smiled, proud that she had stood up for him. Cliff was instead sickly looking at his tremoring hand. Cecily turned back to Ernestine. “How do you do miss?” she asked politely. The little girl held her hand out to Ernestine, who looked at it as if it were infested with maggots. She scowled “I wouldn’t even give a dog that I didn’t like to Cliff Burton,” she sulked, and turned away from the disappointed Cecily. “Kirk Lee,” she barked. “Could I have a word with you? Alone?” Kirk’s stomach felt like a giant ball of lead. This was not going to be good. “Whatever you’d like Sweetheart,” Kirk told her, and led her into the other room. “Meanwhile, Cecily went right up to Emily and gave her a hug. “You look really pretty tonight Miss Emily,” she said. “Thank you,” Emily replied. “So do you.” “I lost my first tooth,” said Cecily proudly. “And Cliff didn’t even have to rip it out.” “That’s a good thing, considering the fact that Cliff is a bassist, not a dentist,” replied Emily. “How would you like to have lunch with my on Saturday?” she asked. “We’ll go some place really nice because it will be my last day in San Francisco.” “Last day?” Cecily asked. “I have to go back home to Denmark,” Emily replied. “You’re going to be staying here, and I need to get back to the milliner’s shop.” “You can’t leave!” Cecily cried. “I’ll miss you too much. Can’t you just stay here?” “I can’t Cecily,” said Emily. “I’m sorry.” “But don’t you like me anymore?” Cecily asked. “Of course I do,” Emily said as she held the little girl close. “I just have no more reason to be in the United States.” “Actually, you do,” Cliff said as he came into the room holding another can of diet coke. “I do?” Emily repeated. “And what might that be? Help baby sit Cecily while you stay out all night?” “Cliff doesn’t stay out all night,” said Cecily. “He acts like an old man now because he can’t get any. He went to bed at eight-thirty the other night.” “Cess,” interrupted Cliff. “Shut it.” “I’m sorry to hear that Cliff,” Emily shot sarcastically. “Emily,” Cliff began uneasily. His hands began to shake. He desperately needed a cigarette. He took a long sip of his diet coke instead. “I need your help,” he said. “I did something really stupid.” “That’s nothing new,” quipped Emily. “You’re so sweet,” Cliff snapped. “I told Social Services that you were my girlfriend. It was a stupid thing to do really.” “Yeah it was,” said Emily. “Why’d you do that for?” “They want Cecily to have a motherly figure,” replied Cliff. He opened another diet coke. The two stood in an uncomfortable silence. Until Cecily said “It’s a compliment Miss Emily. You’re one of my favorite people in the entire world.” “Cecily, could you go see if Brunhilda needs any help in the kitchen?” Cliff asked. Cecily sighed. She hated being thrown out just when the conversation was getting good. “I don’t see why you two can’t see that you’re both meant to be together,” she said. “It’s so obvious. We’d be so happy the three of us, I promise. I’d be the best daughter in the world to both of you, and I know that you two are in love with each other and-” “Fuck off Cecily!” Cliff interrupted. “Now get your ass out to the kitchen!” Cecily glared at Cliff, but she did do as she was told. “And don’t give me that look!” Cliff barked after her. “You’re going to get your ass beat.” “You wouldn’t ever beat Cecily,” Emily laughed as they watched her walk out of the room. “I can’t lie to Social Services,” said Emily once they were alone. “I love Cecily, and I’m willing to vouch that you’re a positive influence in her life, but I’m not going to tell them that I’m dating you.” “I know,” Cliff sighed. “It wouldn’t be proper, and I understand the thing with Kirk. Women seem to think that he’s handsome and smells nice.” “Kirk?” Emily laughed. “What does he have to do with anything?” “Don’t pull any shit with me,” Cliff snapped. “I know that you two are together. It was bound to happen with you staying there at his house like that.” “I’m not with Kirk,” said Emily. “We briefly exchanged love letters, but nothing ever came of it.” “Oh yeah?” Cliff snorted and chucked his empty diet coke can across the room. “That’s not what Mrs. Hammett told me.” “Are you stoned again Cliff?” demanded Emily. “Yeah,” Cliff admitted. He could feel a migraine nicotine headache creeping into his forehead. “There’s nothing going on between Kirk and me,” Emily retorted. “You and Ernestine need to go mind your own business.” “I guess dinner and the movies doesn’t constitute as dating,” Cliff shot as he opened another diet coke. He was blowing through the cokes faster than James went through six packs. “I never went to the movies with Kirk,” said Emily. “All I do at his house is sit and watch his mother bake pies.” She frowned at Cliff as he chugged a diet coke. “And what’s with the diet coke all of a sudden? Between you and Kirk it’s starting to become the official drink of Metallica.” “I’m trying to quit smoking,” Cliff answered. “And I’m going through withdrawal.” “ You quit smoking?” Emily started laughing. “That’s like telling the pope not to pray anymore. You’ll never do it.” “I’m going to try real hard,” said Cliff as he put his head in his hands. “Cecily doesn’t like it, and I don’t want her breathing that shit anyway.” Emily grew quiet as she watched Cliff pathetically take his diet coke, and go over to the sofa to lie down. He was having a nicotine depravation headache. He stuffed his head under one of Aunt Josephine’s expensive hand painted throw pillows and whimpered. Emily couldn’t help it. She knew that she had to get back to Denmark, but love was more important, and Emily could see that Cliff really loved and cared about Cecily. She just had to help them, help them both. “Alright Cliff,” Emily sighed as she sat down on the chair that was next to the sofa. “I’ll do it, but let’s just get one thing straight between us.” “What’s that?” Cliff groaned. “I’m not dating Kirk, and I’m just pretending to be your girlfriend. I’ll play along just for the Social Services people.” “Thank you Emily,” Cliff groaned, half asleep in a nicotine deprived coma. “It’s one of the nicest things that anyone has ever done for me. I’ll never forget it. I’m just happy to have a girl as wonderful as you as my girlfriend, even if it is just for pretend…” |
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| Raedoll | September 5, 2007, 7:51 pm Post #303 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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Emily's going ot end up loving pretending to go out with Cliff so much she'll actually do it! I hope!!!!! Cliff and Cecily are Darling together, and Ernestine is a bitch. Cliff makes funny comments about her, and shame on Ernest for not wanting to shake hands with Cecily!! She's one of the sweetest little girls ever! Bwarh...poor Nicotine deprived Cliff. He's such a doll. I'm glad things are going well, lol and that sucks about your caffine. But it's healthier for you if you odn't chug down so much. You know one Sunkist soda has three times as much caffine as an espresso? That's insane!. Bwarh, I'm glad ot hear you're having fun, and meeting cool people. Keep it up! |
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| MissMetallica;; | September 6, 2007, 1:44 am Post #304 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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aww the way cliff is giving up smoking is admirable. and its good he confronted emily about social services. at least he didnt lie to her ![]() even if they are just pretending, i rekon they will both end up liking it and then becoming girlfriend and boyfriend. hopefully!! and that ernestine. what a complete bitch! i just want to slap her down and tell her to wake up to herself. poor kirk!glad your having fun and meeting new people! cant wait for more
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| Shayi | September 6, 2007, 4:30 am Post #305 |
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Bring me that horizon
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*G* I'm so glad to see another update! Well... Ernestine deserves a slap. What a class A bitch...What on earth did sweet lil Kirk Lee see in her in the first place? She doesn't even have amazing tits ;) Cliff is such a sweetheart - I feel ever so sorry for his suffering with trying to quit smoking, still, it'll be for the best in the long run! I really hope that he manages to get Emily. He deserves some happiness (and most definately should NOT be going to bed at 8.30 like an old man!). Hehehe, Diet Coke, official drink of Metallica. That made me chuckle... still, it's better than half-drowning himself I suppose! Good for Emily. Hopefully, as Cecily has, she will see that she and Cliff really are made for each other.... but we'll have to wait and see! Awesome update - I'm glad that things are going well for you! |
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| Simone | September 6, 2007, 5:22 am Post #306 |
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Mistress of Puppets
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Why do I have the feeling this won't end as a "pretend" as it should??? caaaaan't wait to see Emily in front of Social Services!!!! Will she kiss Cliff??? GOOOOOO EMILYYYYY!!!!!!!! Aww,Clif said he'd beat Cess!!! not even in hell he would Loooooove it Verity...honestly if you don't put it up as a book...I'm gonna...I'm gonna...start crying like Cecily
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| Verity | September 7, 2007, 10:55 pm Post #307 |
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The Story Girl
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Simone: Thank you. If I ever write a book you will be the first to know. Shayi- Thanks for your kind comments. You made me smile. Kristen: Poor Kirk. Isn't Ernestine awful?? Rae- I could never give up caffiene. I have been getting coffee lately. Today I had coffee and candy corn so I was literally bouncing off the walls. Anyway, here we go. I wrote this in a dirt cheap, shitty, fuck motel so if the language is a little crass, that's why. But then again, what else is new. Chapter 87- Plotting Evil Schemes and Nicotine Patches “Would you knock it off James!” Philippa demanded as she planted herself in front of him. James stared at her happy, bouncing tits. Philippa was in a very dishy electric blue bikini. She was ready to do one thing and one thing only: go to the hot tub and fuck. Usually, James was rather down with this plan, but tonight he had business to attend to if he wanted to keep his fifty bucks. “We’ll hot tub later,” James promised her as he felt up her titties. “I promise.” “That’s what you said an hour ago,” Philippa whined. “All that you’ve wanted to do for the entire evening is spy on Lars and Amy in the swimming pool. I’m sorry James, but isn’t that sort of high school? They are adults you know.” “I promised Cecily that I would meet her in the pool cabana,” said James. “She’s helping me with something.” “I could help you,” Philippa offered. “I’m beginning to think that you no longer find me attractive,” Philippa said pathetically as she twirled a strand of her black hair around her finger. “Are you nuts?” James asked. “You can help me later tonight, I promise. Actually, you’ll be the only one who can help me later tonight, you know?” Philippa nodded and dramatically shed one single tear. “Don’t cry ma petite,” James said in butchered French that he thought drove chicks wild. He kissed the tip of his finger and touched Philippa’s little button nose. “Why don’t you go in the kitchen and have a glass of wine, some coffee, whatever it is you drink. I’ll be with you soon.” Philippa sadly trooped off to the kitchen where she ran right into Aunt Josephine. Aunt Josephine was stoned, so she had absolutely no filters whatsoever. “Lord Almighty Miss Philippa!” she gasped. “Put some god damn clothes on woman! You’ve got some nerve strutting around under my roof half dressed like gypsy streetwalker. Put some clothes on now!” “Aunt Jo!” Cliff squealed as he sauntered into the kitchen holding a diet coke. “Don’t say that. I’m enjoying the view.” Philippa turned red as Cliff with no shame whatsoever gazed at her boobs. She quickly grabbed a dish towel, threw it over her shoulders, and flounced out of the room. Aunt Josephine turned to her nephew. “Well the stakes are high,” she sighed. “What stakes?” asked Cliff as he sat down at the kitchen island and laid his head down against the cool, granite, counter top. The coolness helped soothe his thrashing headache. “You’re entire family has placed bets on how long you’re going to stay on this quitting smoking kick. Your poor mother bet only for three hours.” “Fuck her,” Cliff grumbled. “I’ll show her. She has no faith in me whatsoever.” “Don’t get mad at me!” said Josephine. “Your father bet only for fifteen minutes. I bet the longest with two weeks.” “Thanks Aunt Jo,” Cliff said. “You’ve always believed in me.” It had been a rough evening for Cliff. He had had to be excused from the dinner table early because he began suffering from the delirium tremens. Going upstairs and lying down in bed had been a bad move, for he started having strange hallucinations with some old man dude throwing himself into a fire. He had gotten all sweaty and shaky as well. The worst thing was that Cecily insisted on skipping her dinner to sit beside Cliff’s bed, so the little fucker had witnessed it all. She had been so sweet holding Cliff’s hand through the entire spasm, but Cliff still wished that she had never seen him like that. “They’re probably right,” Cliff sighed as he felt his heart race, and his hand twitched. “I won’t be able to hold out any longer.” “With that attitude you won’t,” Aunt Josephine replied sternly. I’ve bought something to help you.” She reached into one of the kitchen cabinets. She took out a small white box. “What the fuck is that?” Cliff asked. “These are nicotine patches,” replied Aunt Josephine. “You stick them on your arm, and the nicotine seeps through your skin into your bloodstream.” “Fuck yeah!” Cliff exclaimed, perking up. Like a sick orphan kid opening up a donated Christmas gift he ripped into the box of patches and put not one, but eight patches all down both of his arms. His heart rate began to level off, the sweating stopped, and his hands stopped shaking. “Oh Aunt Josephine!” Cliff cried as he hugged her. “These patches rock all the balls in cock in the entire world. Thank you so much!” “You’re only supposed to use one patch at a time Clifford,” said Aunt Josephine. “But then again, you did used to smoke more than normal. Your mother will be very pleased that you kicked the nasty habit.” “Why? She does it herself,” Cliff retorted as he admired his patches. “Yeah, but she can pay all of her bills. You can’t, so you don’t need to be buying cigarettes.” said Aunt Josephine. “Just be careful with those patches Cliff. You’re only supposed to use them for two weeks, and if you quit smoking for good, I’ll get you backstage to actually meet the Misfits. How does that sound?” “Oh Aunt Jo!” Cliff cried as he gave his aunt a great big hug. “You’re the best fucking aunt in the entire universe!” “I know,” a stoned Aunt Josephine blushed. “And you’re the best father that little Cecily could have. I think it just runs in the family.” *** It was approximately eleven-thirty when James made his way to the pool cabana to meet Cecily. Cecily had had to sneak out of bed since she had school tomorrow, and Cliff had put her to bed around nine. James watched as Lars climbed up the pool ladder steps first and then turned to help Amy up out of the pool. He threw a towel around her, and started sucking on the side of her neck. James would have to work quickly if he wanted his fifty bucks. He found Cecily already waiting for him. She was dressed in her nightgown, and had made herself comfortable in a floatation raft. She was reading one of her books. “You ready to fucking rock kid?” James asked as he sat down across from her on a huge inflatable ducky raft. “I guess so, but I’m nervous,” said Cecily. “I’m not a very good actress.” She put down her book. “I’d feel awfully bad if I didn’t keep Lars and Amy from getting laid.” “Don’t worry kid,” said James. “Like I said, if you pull this off I’ll get you anything that you want.” “Anything?” Cecily asked. “You got it,” James nodded and began to beat the shit out of the ducky raft’s ears. “I want Cliff to jump in the sack with Miss Emily,” Cecily said rhetorically. “Ah yes,” sighed James. “I’m sure that Cliffy would like that too since the man is in desperate need of some puss, but I cannot work miracles. Pick something else.” “I guess that you can buy me a new book,” said Cecily. “A new book and twenty bucks.” “Twenty bucks!” James squealed. “What the fuck does a little shit like you need twenty bucks for?” “I want to buy Cliff a case of beer,” said Cecily. “And it has to be Heine, Heine oh dear I can’t pronounce it.” “You mean Heineken?” James asked. Cecily nodded. “Well,” James whistled. “That’s a tall order, but I can get you a case of Heineken for way under twenty bucks. I got the hookups around here at the liquor stores, and you can’t buy the beer anyway. Don’t worry, I’ll buy it for you, but Cliff has to share it with me.” “Okay,” Cecily nodded sweetly. “Thank you so much Mr. James.” “No. Thank you,” James replied as he picked the little girl up and swung her through the air making her laugh. “Now we have some big fish to fry tonight little lady.” “Even bigger than Miss Philippa’s tits?” Cecily asked as James set her down. “Bigger than her tits yeah,” said James as he finished off his beer and left the empty bottle sitting in the pool cabana for Brunhilda to clean up later. “But definitely not as beautiful.” *** Lars and Amy were going at it like two dogs in heat. The minute that they had gotten back inside the house, they started going at it. “You two!” Aunt Josephine barked. “Find a room! Lord knows we have enough of them around here. For Isadore’s sake! Between you two, and Philippa walking around displaying her tits in front of God and everybody, I’m beginning to think that I run a high class whore house instead of a quiet, family, winery.” “Actually, you kind of do,” piped up Cliff. “Which is fine by me.” He was happily fixing himself a ham sandwich. Since he had his new nicotine patches his appetite had come back. “I’m sorry Amy,” said Lars as they began to stumble up the stairs. “Don’t mind cranky, old, stoned, Aunt Josephine. She’s being a bitch.” “I’ll remember you said that the next time that you ask me if I’ll let you use my big screen TV,” Aunt Josephine retorted. Lars and Amy just exchanged looks and made their way to Lars’s bedroom. Lars had a room with a huge-ass four post bed, just the perfect size for fucking. “Oh Lars,” Amy breathed. “This entire house is beautiful. It’s like an enchanted castle or something.” “You’re the one that makes it enchanted my dear,” said Lars as he shut the door and ripped off his Metallica band shirt. “I wish that my sisters could see this place,” Amy gushed as she gazed out the window of their nighttime view of the mountains, and the twinkling, dancing, lights of San Francisco. “My sister Charlotte would absolutely adore Josephine’s horses.” “Yeah,” Lars warbled as he drew the drapes shut. He wanted to get down to business. He didn’t take Amy up to a bedroom to talk about her army of little sisters. He had a deal to seal. Lars began to unbutton Amy’s blouse for her. “You waste no time Lars,” Amy said as he stripped off her blouse, and started to work on her jeans. “I’m a busy man,” Lars replied as he pulled her jeans down around her hips, where they fell to the floor. He then gently tackled her down onto the bed and began kissing her wildly. Amy had just started to groan with pleasure when all of a sudden “Help me! Help me! I’m so scared!” a little voice cried. Cecily barged into Lars’s bedroom dressed in her nightgown, and carrying an ancient and rather worn and sick looking but well loved, stuffed teddy bear that once had belonged to Cliff a long time ago. Cliff’s mother had given it to Cecily because she felt sorry for the girl who had left all of her other stuffed animals back in Denmark. It had now become Cecily’s favorite and most prized toy because it had once belonged to Cliff. The bear even had a slit in it’s backside where stuffing was just starting to ooze out of it. A much older Cliff had made the slit in the bear when he was trying to find a safe hiding place for some fine pot. “I’m scared! I’m scared!” she cried as she ran right to the four post bed. “Cecily!” Lars shrieked as Amy tumbled right off of him. “What the fock are you doing in here?” “I had a bad dream!” Cecily cried. “It was horrible! I’m scared!” “Have Cliff focking help you,” snapped Lars. “He’s your focking dad anyway.” “Cliff’s sick with the delirium tremens,” Cecily reminded him. She buried her face into the bed covers. “It was so scary. I had dreams of war, and dragon’s fire, and of things that will bite.” “That’s what you get for eating ice cream before bed,” Lars said in an annoyed manner. Amy had already put on her jeans and was no buttoning up her blouse. “But I didn’t have any ice cream before bed,” Cecily argued. “Cliff won’t let me have it before bed because he says that it gives one the shits.” “Well you’re sure as hell going to have more to worry about than just the shits,” Lars quipped as he watched Amy grab her purse. She couldn’t leave! No! “Lars that’s not a very nice thing to say to the girl,” said Amy. She went over and took Cecily into her arms. “Why the poor little thing is shaking. She’s absolutely petrified.” “And I’m disappointed,” quipped Lars as he watched Cecily. Damn, sometimes he hated that focking little brat so much. Not only had she taken the hearts of his band, but she was also taking the hearts of his new squeeze, and he did not like it. “I’ll never be able to fall back asleep,” said Cecily as she buried her face in Cliff’s old teddy bear. “My little sister Gertie has nightmares sometimes,” said Amy as she put her hand on Cecily’s shoulder. “There’s this one story that I would tell her that would make feel better. If you’d like, I could take you back to your room and tell it to you.” “I would like that very much thank you,” said Cecily. “But Amy,” Lars interrupted. “What about us?” “Oh honestly Lars,” shot Amy. “Do you really feel like having sex after having things interrupted? I mean, it kind of killed the mood.” “My mood is never killed,” answered Lars bitterly. He looked over at Cecily who was looking down at her teddy bear. Focking kid was ruining everything. Cecily wasn’t even good enough to belong to Claudia. She deserved to be thrown into one of those old school shitty-as-fuck orphanages where the children wore rags and had to do shit like take the trash out all day long. “I’m sorry Lars,” said Amy. “Maybe next time.” And Amy ushered Cecily out of the room. Lars stood in the doorway in nothing but his skivvies, watching them leave. It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t focking fair. “Well Ulrich,” said James as he strutted out from his bedroom. “Pay up bitch. Looks like a Hetfield can win after all.” |
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| Raedoll | September 7, 2007, 11:17 pm Post #308 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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OH, LOVE THE KID. And Cliff and the niccotine patches...jeeze, the man's going to have a niccotine overload. That can't be good. He needs to just stick one patch on the underside of his wrist, that way he can wean himself off of it Or aunt Jo could trick him and put a half used patch on him so he'd think he's getting the full kick. I love this story, there's so many places you could take this from here. and James should have waited, because what if Lars thinks something's up? OH NOES. And Cliff...well, Cliff's being such a pig *pout* He has Emily to worry about getting hooked up with! BLARGH. Cliff quit being a dork! *whap!* I love this. I really want to know what happens next, and I'm sorry you had to stay in a crappy hotel
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| MissMetallica;; | September 8, 2007, 1:12 am Post #309 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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wuh-ohh. larsy might'nt win the bet. james, you sly devil, you really know how to make sure you keep your $50 ![]() and that cecily knows how to make a fair deal. she's been bought up well ![]() and those nicotine patches will certainly help cliff, unless he gets addicted to them. then its just like smoking all over again. ahh i love this story so so much! it sucks you had to stay in a shitty motel but im glad you still found time to keep writing and posting for us :):) THANKYOU
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| Verity | September 8, 2007, 2:09 am Post #310 |
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The Story Girl
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Thanks gals, but it's easy to find time to write. We don't have much money so there's nothing to do but sit in the room get wasted and play on our laptops. I write, my friend does neopets. We're a lively bunch. And the shitty motel was my choice. It's got character. I think I saw a prostitute come out of the room next to me. At least they have wireless internet though.
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| Simone | September 8, 2007, 5:48 am Post #311 |
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Mistress of Puppets
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Lovely!!! Haaahahaha...Lars will realize it was James!!!! won't he? he's a smartass little fuckerLove the chapter and can't wait to read mooore!!! I turned on my computer just to see what you wrote Keep up the good work!! READERS: I have a great idea!!! we should make a top 3 best fan fic writers!!!! and give as a prize some wonderfully made siggies!! What do you think? |
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| Verity | September 8, 2007, 1:52 pm Post #312 |
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The Story Girl
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Simone- I'm so glad that you like this. Your comment made me feel very good. A wonderful way to start my day. Kristen- I agree. I think Cecily is being brought up very well. Rae- I'm glad you know how nicotine patches work because I don't really. I probably have it all wrong. Chapter 88- Crazy, Random, Chapter Meanwhile back in Denmark, Claudia was starting to feel miserable, because things aren’t already fucked up enough in this story. She was sitting on the edge of her bed in her hotel room smoking cigarette and making her way through a bottle of very cheap and shitty tasting gin. She had never felt so alone before, well actually she had, when she had gotten kicked out of the house for getting pregnant with Cecily. Now here she was again with nobody. Ryland, her halfway nice and brief boyfriend had gone on with his travels, and her latest squeeze had just dumped her when he had found out that she had a daughter. Claudia was used to that though. The only thing different was that she used to have Cecily to come home to every night, and now she was completely alone. Cecily had abandoned her and Claudia had no one to blame except herself. With Cliff, Cecily was well cared for and loved to death. She couldn’t blame the girl for wanting to go live with him. Cecily had always been so sweet. A pain sometimes, but a sweet pain. Claudia was realizing that she had often taken the girl for granted. One time, Cecily had even given her stuffed rabbit to Claudia, after one of her boyfriends had broken up with her, and all that Claudia had done was tell the little girl to go away, because her boyfriend didn’t want to get too involved with someone who had a daughter. No wonder she wanted to live with someone else, someone more appreciative. And now Claudia was all alone. Cecily’s stuffed rabbit lay untouched on her bed. A drunk and morose Claudia stumbled over to the other bed, picked the rabbit up, and held it close. It even still smelled like Cecily. She had kind of a baby smell to her, or at least that’s what Claudia always thought of it as. Claudia broke down into tears. Her new ex boyfriend was right: she wasn’t worth nothing. My family doesn’t like me, my boyfriends all dump me, even my daughter doesn’t like me, thought Claudia as she polished off her bottle of gin. Perhaps I should just go off somewhere else. No one needs me here. The job sucks, the pay sucks. Cecily doesn’t need me anymore, maybe I should just leave. *** James Hetfield cruised down the stairs to the kitchen the next morning in a rather jolly mood. Unlike Lars, he had gotten laid last night by the lovely Miss Philippa, and he had won fifty dollars. To top it all off, Brunhilda was baking fresh cinnamon rolls for the Metallica boys to have during their morning rehearsal. Cliff (looking like a decorated Christmas tree of nicotine patches) was at the kitchen island packing Cecily her lunch for school, and Cecily was supervising, making sure that he didn’t put mayonnaise on her sandwich. “What the fuck is wrong with mayonnaise?” Cliff retorted as he started over making a “mayonnaise free” sandwich. “It’s disgusting,” answered Cecily. “Jesus kid! You don’t like butter, you don’t like lasagna, you don’t like mayonnaise. What the fuck do you like to eat? Come on Cess,” Cliff laughed. “When I was your age, I even used to beg my mom to make me mayonnaise sandwiches, with nothing except mayonnaise and bread.” “That explains a lot,” said Cecily. “And by the way, I like to eat watercress sandwiches with cucumber.” “What the fuck do you mean by that?” Cliff asked. “Watercress with cucumber? That sounds like more tea party shit. Sorry to break it to you, but you aren’t in Denmark anymore. We Burtons do not eat watercress and cucumber sandwiches.” He playfully flung a glob of mayonnaise at her. It landed in Cecily’s very neatly combed hair. Cecily shrieked at the top of her lungs, halfway rupturing James’s ear drums as he came into the room. “She could sing in her own metal band with a shriek like that,” James observed. He gave her a high five. “You did good work last night. How’s my little helper this morning?” “I’m alright,” said Cecily. “A little tired. Will you buy Cliff his Heineken?” “Heineken?” Cliff asked as he took a damp dish rag and began to clean the mayonnaise out of Cecily’s hair. “What Heineken?” “Mr. James said that if I helped him last night that he would get me anything that I wanted,” said Cecily as she stood very still so that Cliff could get the mayonnaise out of her hair. “I wanted him to get you a case of Heineken.” Cliff sat back on his knees and stared at Cecily. “You really do spoil me girl,” he said. He gave her a hug. “I’m sorry that I hurled mayonnaise at you, and if you really want me to, I’ll make you a watercress sandwich.” “Oh would you?” Cecily gasped. “I’d like that very much. I’d adore it.” “Wow,” said James. “The kid adores a fucking sandwich. Easy to please. I hope that someday my kids can be that easy.” A sullen and insipid Lars came into the kitchen. “Why good morning Lars,” James said sweetly as he stuffed Cecily’s rejected mayonnaise sandwich into his mouth. “Fock off Het!” growled Lars. “Happy now? You’ve ruined everything with me and Amy.” “Join the club man,” said Cliff as he chopped up cucumber. “Het took Philippa and I haven’t been laid since.” “Yeah, but you’re a loser,” retorted Lars. “I’m not.” He gazed at Cliff’s heavily decorated arm that sported a tattoo, twelve nicotine patches, a plastic rainbow bracelet, and a skull ring upon his finger, and frowned. “What’s up with all that shit on your arm?” he asked. “Your arm looks like a focking three ring circus.” “I’m on the patch man,” answered Cliff proudly. “They kick ass. They make me able to function.” “Finally at least something does,” muttered Lars. “You’re a dick!” Cliff hissed as he finished Cecily’s watercress sandwich. “There,” he said with satisfaction. “Does that pass muster?” Cecily looked at the sandwich and shook her head. “Don’t you know Cliff?” she said. “You’re supposed to cut it into little triangles.” “Jesus kid! You’re the world’s pickiest eater,” Cliff snapped as he tried to cut the sandwich into neat little triangles. “Now you know how I feel,” said Kirk (who really has no reason to be staying at Aunt Josephine’s other than I want him around) as he came into the room and helped himself to some orange juice. “If you think that Cecily is picky, look at yourself.” “You should get rainbow colored patches to go with the bracelet that I made you,” said Cecily. “Cecily, Sweetheart,” said Cliff as he chucked the triangle sandwiches into a plastic bag. “I really love the bracelet that you made for me, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a boy. Actually I’m a man, a grown man. We don’t wear rainbow shit.” “Oh yeah,” said Cecily. “Maybe it was the long hair that threw me off.” And with that, she skipped out of the room to get her backpack. “The kid is a focking smart ass,” Lars said in disgust. “She gets it from me,” Cliff said proudly as he shuffled over to the fridge for a morning beer. Just then, the phone rang and Cliff (since he’s the only one who ever answers the phone) answered it. “Hello Cliff? It’s Miss Thelma from Social Services,” said the voice on the other end. “We would like to come over this afternoon after Cecily gets out of school to meet with James and your girlfriend Emily.” “This afternoon?” Cliff repeated. That did not give him very much time at all to get his shit together with Emily. Emily had agreed to help him out, but he thought that she wouldn’t need to do anything for a few weeks. In reality, Cliff and Emily had spent very, very, very, very little time alone together. They barely knew each other. How would they ever be able to pull this off by the afternoon? “Is that alright Mr. Burton?” Thelma asked again when all she heard was silence. “Yeah,” Cliff mumbled his heart pounding. What if Emily wasn’t around this afternoon? What if she had other shit planned? “We’ll be over to your Aunt’s house around four o’clock,” said Thelma. “I’ll see you then.” Cliff hung up the phone, even forgetting to say goodbye. If he was going to have a chance at keeping Cecily, he would have to work very fast. *** After he dropped Cecily off at school, Cliff made his way over to El Sobrante to Mrs. Hammett’s house. As soon as he pulled his car up in the driveway, he could smell the aroma of fresh baked apple spice cake coming up from the chimney. Cliff hoped that Mrs. Hammett would invite him inside and offer him some cake. He was hungry since he had to skip breakfast because he had fucked around for too long making Cecily her sandwich. Instead, Mrs. Hammett did just the opposite. “What are you doing here Clifford?” she snapped, frowning at him. “Kirk Lee is staying at your Aunt’s villa.” “I’m not here to see Kirk,” Cliff admitted. “Are you here to see me?” Mrs. Hammett asked as she put her hands on her hips. “No,” Cliff answered. He shyly began to play with one of his nicotine patches. “I’m here to see Emily actually.” “Why do you want to see her?” Mrs. Hammett demanded. Didn’t Cliff know that Emily was supposed to belong to her Kirk Lee? Cliff needed to buzz off. “She’s no concern of hers.” “Actually, she is and it’s none of your business,” Cliff replied. “Hey Mrs. H,” said Emily as she came up behind her. “Who’s at the door?” She peeked around Mrs. Hammett and caught sight of Cliff. “Cliff, what are you doing here?” she asked. “I need your help,” said Cliff. “I need you to come over today. Social Services want to meet with you.” “Today?” Emily repeated. She sighed. She was going to go to the Japanese tea garden, but Cecily was much more important. “Alright. We better get to work if we’re going to pull this off.” “Yeah,” mumbled Cliff. Mrs. Hammett was absolutely glaring at him, and it was making him uncomfortable. “Let me put something presentable on, and we’ll go,” said Emily. “Actually Emily, I could use your help in the kitchen,” said Mrs. Hammett. “I’m having some of my book club ladies over and I could use some help preparing a chicken salad for them.” “You know that I don’t cook Mrs. H,” Emily replied. “Have Kirk help you. He makes good chicken salad. Cliff really could use my help.” “It’s urgent,” Cliff added. “I put you up in my home and let you stay here for free, and you can’t help me the one time that I ask?” Mrs. Hammett returned. “How ungrateful.” “But Mrs. Hammett,” began Emily. “You didn’t mention anything about a book club meeting earlier.” “It just came up,” Mrs. Hammett lamented. “I can’t believe this! I thought that you were better than that Emily. I think that I deserve a bit more gratitude after letting you stay in my home.” “If it’s that big a deal she can stay at my Aunt’s,” Cliff offered. “She has plenty of space. She’s housing just about everybody else in San Francisco right now.” “I can’t stay there,” Emily laughed. “With you, Kirk, Lars, and James? It would be worse than staying the night at a fish hatchery.” “We’d lock you in the basement,” Cliff laughed. Emily glowered at him. “You want my help or not?” she demanded. “And what’s with all the sticky patches on your arm? You donate a gallon of blood this morning or something.” “No,” Cliff returned, blushing over his many nicotine patches. “I’m on the patch.” “The birth control patch?” Emily asked, raising her eyebrows. “No! That’s gross!” Cliff spat in disgust. He really didn’t want to tell her that he was so weak that he needed to wear twenty nicotine patches in order to quit smoking. “Just, never mind.” Emily turned to Mrs. Hammett. “Please don’t be angry with me Mrs. H,” she said. “I really have appreciated your hospitality immensely, and if it is too much I could go stay at Miss Josephine’s. I could pick you up a store made chicken salad, and I did clean all of the bathrooms yesterday. Doesn’t that help?” “No,” Mrs. Hammett shot bitterly. Actually, there was no book club meeting at all. There wasn’t even a book club. She just didn’t like the idea of Cliff hanging around her son’s girlfriend, and she was going to do everything in her power to keep them apart… |
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| Raedoll | September 8, 2007, 3:09 pm Post #313 |
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Poor Twisted Me
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Mrs. Hammett you dolt. Emily and Cliff just need like....a few hours alone. and Kirk needs to get a woman of his own, Cliff had her first. BLARGH. Oh well. It's funny how Cecily is so picky and shit but Cliff loves her anyway, and how she offers rainbow coloured everything. This comment made me grin. “You should get rainbow colored patches to go with the bracelet that I made you,” said Cecily. “Cecily, Sweetheart,” said Cliff as he chucked the triangle sandwiches into a plastic bag. “I really love the bracelet that you made for me, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a boy. Actually I’m a man, a grown man. We don’t wear rainbow shit.” “Oh yeah,” said Cecily. “Maybe it was the long hair that threw me off.” And with that, she skipped out of the room to get her backpack. I love the pair of them together, I hope that they can pull off this social services thing. it would shatter Cliff's heart to pieces if he had to give Cecily up. I'm glad you're writing and enjoying your hotel with free internet, lol you all sound like a very fun bunch of people. I can't wait for more!
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| Simone | September 9, 2007, 7:41 am Post #314 |
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Mistress of Puppets
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Aww...can't you make Mrs. hamster disappear with no trace? that would be more easier!!!!Great,great,simply,GREAT!!!!!!!! Ohh...what will happen at the meeting??? I'm sooo nervous!!!!]I mope everything is going to be ok!!! I don't want Cecily to leave to Denmark Yet another awesome chapter! Keep it up hon!
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| Shayi | September 10, 2007, 4:01 am Post #315 |
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Bring me that horizon
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Oh Mrs Hammett for goodness sake! Stop interfering for goodness sake. Your little Kirk (hard though it is to believe) is in fact compentent enough to get his own chick. Mainly because he's clean and smells good but still! Stop interfering! That out of the way... the image of Cliff with all his nicotine patches made me laugh so so much - I dread to think what the Social Services woman is going to make of it.... hopefully Emily can somehow persuade him to cover 'em up! And Cecily is a star - fair play to her, she's becoming an extremely accomplished actress as well as being a smartass. And I'm glad that James did manage to win the bet with Lars, because, although James is a chauvanistic pig, I'm extremely fond of him in this! And Lars, well. He's still an ass, but I guess that's the way it goes! And well done for her thinking of Cliff with the Heineken! Now, as to Cliff - I'm so proud of him giving up smoking, although he's going overboard slightly with the nicotine patches, but hey, whatever works I guess! As long as he's managing to keep it up... good for him. Aunt Josephine - she is fast becoming one of my favourite characters! And I most definately agree that her house is becoming more of an upper class brothel... I love the way that you write your characters in this. They're flawed as all people are, without becoming caricatures but have so many different facets to them that they never become one dimensional. At the same time the dialogue is witty and the way that you write is both humorous and dramatic, and you drive the story along beautifully! So, as you can imagine, I love reading this
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![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
:horns2



i just want to slap her down and tell her to wake up to herself. poor kirk!
GOOOOOO EMILYYYYY!!!!!!!!
If I ever write a book you will be the first to know.
won't he? he's a smartass little fucker

8:42 PM Jul 10