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Father of the Year; Kirk is going to get even with Lars. Het.
Topic Started: July 3, 2007, 9:40 pm (14,620 Views)
Simone
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Mistress of Puppets
[ * ]
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING WOW!!!!!!

Verity the last 3 chapters rocked the living hell out of me!! :horns:

That Mrs. Hamster needs to be put to sleep!!!!!! :lol: :tardlol honestly!!! she's a BITCH!!!

But then again...love always wins...or...that's what they say :biggrin

Love it,love it LOOOOOVEEEE ITTT!!!!! :horns: :heart: :horns2

Good luck with the next concerts and stuff and can't wait for another update :P
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Raluque
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Poor Twisted Me
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i didn't stop reading your fic!! honestly! :) i just stopped posting, because i'm really bad at writing stuff, so instead of writing stupid things, i prefer to not write at all :P

as always, i love your updates. it's sad though, that mrs. h. keeps getting in the way of everything. a bit frustrating. she judges without knowing everything. ughh.

cliff is sooooooo sweet. seeing that rainbow bracelet made him stronger. there's nothing better than that :heart:

hope that the fake wedding finally turns into a real one soon. that would be wonderful! but hey, things don't always turn the way you want them to.

i'm rambling. i'll stop.



oh, oh!!! i forgot! thanks for the cake! :drool
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Simone- You rock! You're reviews always make me happy. Thanks for wishing me luck with my next concert. We'll need it, since we were told that tomorrow night's gig is supposed to be kind of shitty, at least the pay is.

Raluque- You never ramble. I love reading your reviews, honestly. I'm glad that you're still reading this and never feel bad to comment. If anyone rambles here it's me.



and this chapter does kind of suck a little so I apologize now.


Chapter 96- Necklaces



“Emily,” Kirk Lee Hammett whined as he burst into her bedroom. “I made another knot. Can you help me get it out?”

Emily whirled around. She had been fussing in front of the full length mirror for hours trying to make sure that she looked perfect for her trip to Aunt Josephine’s. Kirk handed her another one of his cross stitch samplers. This one was supposed to be of a scene of a forest with a covered bridge, but it looked more like a menagerie of tangles and knots.

Emily sighed as she took Kirk’s sampler and seam ripper, and sat down on the edge of her bed. “How many times do I have to tell you not to use such a long strand of yarn,” she scolded. “That’s why you keep making tangles.”

“Oh bother,” Kirk sighed as he sat down next to her and watched her de-tangle the sampler intently. One of his ebony curls brushed up against her shoulder as she worked.

“There,” she said officially as she handed the sampler back over to Kirk. “You’re all set. Just keep a better watch for tangles and don’t use too many strands of thread all at once.”

“Haste makes waste,” Kirk finished for her.

“You got it,” said Emily. “Now do you think that you could help me?”

“I could try,” said Kirk as he diligently threaded his sewing needle.

“You know Cliff pretty well, right?” Emily asked.

“I know everything there is to know about him,” Kirk said proudly. Emily frowned as she watched Kirk cut off too long a strand of thread. She sighed, and cut another strand for him. Then she went over to her suitcase, and took out two necklaces.

“Would he rather I wear my pearl drop necklace, or my little rhinestone heart necklace?” she asked him as she dangled them in front of him. “Be honest now.”

Kirk just stared at the two necklaces. “Personally, I always prefer pearls,” he said. “They’re simple and most elegant. But Cliff won’t give a shit which one you wear. He won’t even notice that you’re even wearing a necklace, he’ll just notice your boobs.”

“That’s no help!” Emily wailed as she flung herself down onto the bed in desperation.

“You don’t even like Cliff,” Kirk laughed. “Why do you care what necklace you wear in front of him?”

Actually, Emily looked pretty hooched up for going to see someone that she didn’t care about. She had on a nice dress, she had just taken a bath, and she had set her hair on curlers.

Emily turned red, and looked away from Kirk. “Because,” she said. “His parents are giving us a really nice gift and I want to make a good impression on them, so that they give us more money.”

“His Dad’s really into the Dukes of Hazard,” said Kirk. “If you know everything about that then you’ll make a great impression.”

Emily turned pale. “The Dukes of what?” she asked.

“Just wear the pearl drop necklace,” said Kirk. “Cliff isn’t going to care one way or another. All he’ll care about is how easy your clothes are to get off.”

“I believe that,” Emily scoffed as she frowned into the mirror. “I’ll wear the rhinestone one.”

“Why Emily!” exclaimed Mrs. Hammett as she barged into the bedroom. “You look lovely tonight.”

“Thank you,” Emily replied.

“Whatever is the occasion?” Mrs. Hammett asked.

“She’s going over to Cliff’s,” Kirk chirped. “I think that you could dress up your outfit with a silk scarf Emily, and use a crochet handbag”

They must be having a rehearsal dinner or something, thought Mrs. Hammett. Emily was awfully dressed up just for a normal dinner.

“You mean she’s going over to the Aunt’s that he leeches off of house,” said Mrs. Hammett coyly.

“If she were my aunt, I’d leech off of her too,” said Emily as she began to take the curlers out of her hair.

“Do you want to use some of my curl serum?” Kirk asked. He tossed his main of thick, dark, curls. “It gives my hair lots of volume and bounce, and natural shine.”

“Um okay,” replied Emily.

Kirk sprang up to go run to his bedroom to get his curl serum. His mother grabbed him by the arm.

“What the hell are you doing Kirk Lee?” she hissed at him.

“Trying to help out my friend,” Kirk replied. “Her curls have a tendency to get kind of frizzy. She could really use the serum. Cliff could use it too, come to think of it.”

“So you’re going to let Cliff take her away and walk all over you then?” Mrs. Hammett retorted.

“Cliff doesn’t walk all over me,” said Kirk. “He’s my friend. We’re bosom buddies.”

“He’s not your friend Kirk,” snapped his mother. “He’s the enemy!”

“Enemy!” squealed Kirk. “But he makes sure that I wear my long underwear to prevent the consumption. You adore Cliff.”

“That was before he turned around and stabbed you in the back,” Mrs. Hammett replied. “You should be the one marrying Emily this weekend. Not him!”

“But mother,” Kirk said as he tried to hide a laugh. “They’re not really getting married.”

***

Cliff, adorned in Kirk’s spiffy denim blazer once again, sat waiting for Emily to show up that evening in Aunt Josephine’s living room with his parents. His Dad was already wasted on gin martinis but that was okay since Cliff already had the gas card in his hot little hand. He caressed the sweet, smooth, plastic. Tis would be such a joy to not have to pay for his own gas anymore. He couldn’t wait to see what the secret grand surprise could be. He was betting anything that it was a puppy.

Just then, Philippa entered the room wearing a pair of cut off shorts and a very low cut top that showcased her endowments. Mr. Burton sprang up at once, and threw his arms around her.

“Welcome to the family!” he greeted.

“Excuse me,” Philippa said, as she pulled away. She frowned at Cliff.

“That’s not Emily Dad,” Cliff said.

“She’s not?” Mr. Burton replied. He looked disappointed. “Damn,” he said. “It would have been awesome having a daughter-in-law with tits like that.”

“Daughter-in-law!” Philippa shrieked. “I wouldn’t marry Cliff even if you paid me.”

“Fuck you Philippa, you crusty ho!” Cliff spat.

“I’m not a pathological liar,” Philippa retorted, and flounced out of the house. James had Holly coming over soon, so he had told Philippa that he had to go to bed early because he had a dentist appointment in the morning. Apparently Cliff wasn’t the only member of Metallica who lied.

“How come you didn’t bag that one Cliff?” Mr. Burton asked as he ogled Philippa’s ass until she was out the door.

“I tried Dad,” Cliff sighed. “Believe me, I tried.” Where the fuck was Emily? She was late.

Cecily entered the room. She was nervous around Cliff’s parents still, so she went straight to Cliff and hid behind him.

“We actually have a gift for Cecily too,” said Mrs. Burton as she finished off her glass of wine. “We could give it to her now while we wait for Emily to show up.”

“What the hell did you get Cecily a present for?” Cliff asked. “She’s not getting married this week.” He turned around and grabbed the hiding Cecily, and pulled her into his lap. “You’re not getting married until you’re twenty-seven,” he said.

“How come I can get married at twenty-seven, but I can’t get laid until I’m thirty-six?” Cecily asked.

“Good question,” replied Cliff. “Like her barrettes? I put them in myself,” he said proudly.

“And you did such a good job of it,” his mother gushed. “Cecily looks so beautiful.”

“Really?” Cecily exclaimed, perking up. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“That’s all that she cares about,” put in Cliff.

“You’re gorgeous,” Mrs. Burton reassured her. She pulled Cecily off of Cliff’s lap and then knelt down in front of her. “You have made my son very happy,” she said. “And for that reason, you’re very dear to the both of us.” She nudged her husband, who had his nose stuck in the vodka bottle. “Isn’t that right?”

“Not really,” Mr. Burton replied. “What I want to know is,” he knelt down next to Cecily. “If you were going to latch onto some random dude to be your father, why the hell did you choose Cliff? You could have at least chosen someone who had some money.”

“Oh hush!” Mrs. Burton snapped and smacked him upside the head. She turned to Cecily and gave her a hug. “Never mind him. He’s an old crazy person.”

“I chose Cliff because he makes me laugh,” Cecily said quietly. She looked over at Cliff.

“And I chose Cecily because she can roll a hearty joint, and she likes the Misfits,” said Cliff.

“Well I have a feeling that Social Services will let you stay with Cliff,” said Mrs. Burton. “They just have to. So we got you a little something so that you’d feel welcomed into the family.” She handed Cecily a very tiny box, wrapped in purple wrapping paper.

Cecily gingerly took the box into her hands. “Thank you,” she murmured. She looked over at Cliff. “Daddy, may I open it?” she asked.

“Of course you can,” Cliff replied. He looked at his parents quizzically. He had no idea what they could have possibly have bought for Cecily. The box was much too small to be a puppy.

Cecily turned back to Cliff’s parents. “Thank you,” she said again.

“Just shut up and open it,” Mr. Burton growled as he fixed himself another gin martini.

Slowly, Cecily carefully unwrapped the box, and opened it. Her eyes widened as she stared down at the small, shiny, gold heart shaped locket that stared back at her. She had never owned any jewelry before, and Claudia had never let her touch any of the jewelry that belonged to her. The only time that Cecily had ever worn jewelry was to the Father of the Year Gala, when Emily had let her borrow her necklace for the evening. The initials C.B. were engraved into the front of the locket.

“Does the C.B. stand for what I think it does?” she asked Cliff.

“Cunt Bitch?” guessed Cliff.

“Oh Cliff,” his mother groaned. “They are for no such thing. They’re for Cecily Burton. After all, that’s going to be her new name.”

Tears started to form in Cecily’s eyes. The little fucker was crying yet again. “Don’t cry Cess,” said Cliff. “You really do need to grow some balls kid.”

“This is the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me,” Cecily cried as she threw her arms around Mrs. Burton. “I’ve never owned a necklace before, especially one with my initials on it. Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome Sweetie,” replied Mrs. Burton. “We just want to make sure that you feel just like one of us.”

“Then we need to get her stoned,” added Mr. Burton.

“Fuck off Dad!” Cliff snarled.

“Will you help me put it on?” Cecily asked.

“Of course dear,” Mrs. Burton answered. She took the locket out of the box, and fastened it around Cecily’s neck. “There now pretty one,” she said as she leaned back and admired the pretty locket on Cecily. “You’ll have to find a picture to put inside of it.”

“Yeah Cess,” nodded Cliff as he helped himself to a beer. “Do you have any idea of who’s picture you’re going to put inside of it?”

“I sure do,” nodded Cecily as she admired her pretty locket in the mirror. “It’s going to be Mr. Kirk’s of course…”
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Raluque
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Poor Twisted Me
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“She’s not?” Mr. Burton replied. He looked disappointed. “Damn,” he said. “It would have been awesome having a daughter-in-law with tits like that.”



“Then we need to get her stoned,” added Mr. Burton.



“I sure do,” nodded Cecily as she admired her pretty locket in the mirror. “It’s going to be Mr. Kirk’s of course…”

:tardlol

it didn't suck in any way!!!! were you hungry? :P
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Lucifer's Angel
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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I finished reading this whole story this morning, and I love it! :heart: Cliff is such a sweetie, and he's so good with Cecily. Why can't they see that they're perfect for each other? :( Keep going :horns2
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MissMetallica;;
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Poor Twisted Me
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wow lucifer's angel! that is alot of reading! and welcome to the verity's story loving club. :P

this update was cute, it didnt suck at all :D , the locket that mr and mrs burton gave cecily sounded so so pretty, and im sure that she will tresure it forever.

i think that emily has a little sumthin' sumthin' for cliff :D, getting all dressed up for cliff. aww

fantastico!
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Lucifer's Angel- Wow. That is absolutely very much impressive that you read this entire fic this morning. Ownage to you! Wow. That rocks and made my day.

Raluque- I think I was a little hungry actually when I wrote this last update. My eating habits have been disgusting over the past couple of weeks. I had pop tarts and a shot of Jameson for dinner the other night, and I wonder why I feel like shit.

Kristen- I think that you're very right about Miss Emily. :dance And I'm glad you didn't think that the locket was sucky or anything like that.

Sorry for the fake out too, I was just impressed by the reading. I promise next time will be a real update. I have 4 hours in the car tomorrow so I'll get to work.
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Shayi
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Bring me that horizon
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Phew - just been playing some catchup with this fic and as always you've totally blown me away! (And I'm glad you liked the pirate talk ;) )

Where to begin? Aunt Josephine going out with her beau? Fabulous to see... and I think she definately deserves some time away from those crazy metallica boys and their parades of women coming through the house!

I know that Cliff has quit the cigs, but could he not drop the lying as well? Or is it perhaps one thing at a time ;) I do however feel rather sorry for his mother (his father seems too chilled out to be too bothered) that he is lying about the wedding to her and letting her believe that it's really going ahead. Pfft that sentence was an abomination when it comes to making sense but I'm tired :)

Oooh that Mrs Hammett - she needs a slap now. I was half inclined to forgive her, simply on the score of her cooking. However nope. She is being awkward. Cow-bag!

I couldn't help laughing at the fact that Kirk is going to be the picture in Cess's locket! Oh man that was brilliant. I thought that she was going to say either Cliff or Emily but... that was excellent!

There are so so many other things in this that strike me and that keep it being such a compulsive read - but I just don't have time to comment more, I wish I did! You are such an excellent writer - this story has just gone along at a fabulous pace, and they way that you meld humour and drama is exceptional. All I can say is, I love it.



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Raluque
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well see? when you're hungry, you write good updates! :P

sorry that the poptarts and the shot of Jameson made you feel bad :( try some milk if you like it. see if that works. hope you ffel better soon, so you can take advantage of the 4 hour drive. i NEED an update :) :dance
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Verity
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The Story Girl
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Raluque- There you go! I got another update for you and thanks for sticking with this. I wasn’t hungry when I wrote this chapter though.

Shayi- Thanks for reading. I understand about time restraints and all. Sometimes I wish I had a printer because my internet time is minimal right now. Which is still cool, because I have a laptop and can still write.

Anyway, we’re finally going to find out what the big surprise is. I hope it doesn’t disappoint.



Chapter 97- The Grand Surprise

Rain pelted down on the Bay Area in thick, murky, sheets. The sky was a tapestry of thick, black, sinister clouds. Emily sighed as she pulled Kirk’s car that she had borrowed, up into the driveway of Aunt Josephine’s.

“I spent an hour and a half defrizzing my hair just to have it rained on,” Emily sighed. She didn’t even think to bring an umbrella. By the time she made her way up Aunt Josephine’s sprawling steps she would look like a drowned rat for sure. Emily sat in the car waiting, hoping that perhaps the rain would die down. There was no end in sight. It fiercely pelted down against the car’s windshield. Just then, another car pulled up behind her, and a slinky blonde girl slithered out. Unlike Emily she had an umbrella. Emily recognized her as being that Holly chick from Social Services.

“Mind if I mooch off of your umbrella?” Emily asked as she gingerly opened up the car door and stuck her head out.

“Not at all,” replied Holly. She trotted over to Emily, careful to avoid any mud puddles. After all, she didn’t want to ruin her Prada shoes (because in Verity story Metallica land, Social Service people can afford Prada shoes).

Emily wasn’t as graceful. She flung herself out of the car, stepping smack into a deep puddle. She was up to her ankles in cold rain water, and still the wind managed to whip around her hair, and blow out everything that Kirk had done.

“Shit,” Emily muttered as the cold rain water soaked through her fine dress shoes, and chilled her to the bone. Holly held the umbrella over Emily. Emily immediately blushed. Swearing in front of someone from Social Services was not going to help Cliff keep Cecily. “I’m sorry,” apologized Emily, as her hand flew to her mouth. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“No worries,” Holly told her and smiled. “I already know that Cliff is perfect for Cecily, and so are you.”

“Really?” Emily asked. Holly was doing a piss poor job of holding the umbrella up over her, and Emily’s hair was now soaked, and plastered to her head. She didn’t care though, because it looked as if Cecily would be staying in San Francisco with Cliff.

“Of course,” Holly replied as she rang Aunt Josephine’s doorbell. “Elsa is still having some issues with things, but you and Cliff have won Thelma and me completely over. I guess after Elsa talks with Cecily’s real mother, she may have a change of heart.”

Cliff answered the door.

“Hey Holly. James is hanging out in the kitchen. Looks like because of the rain, you two won’t be hot tubbing tonight. Whatever will you two do?”

“I guess we’ll just have to have plain, boring, old-fashioned sex,” replied Holly. She closed her umbrella and made her way into the house to find James. A water logged Emily was still standing out on the porch.

“Shit,” Cliff muttered as he poked his head out the door to catch sight of the rain and sharp lighting that danced across the sky. “It’s raining like a motherfucker out here.”

“You think?” Emily retorted. “Are you ever going to ask me inside?”

Cliff rolled his eyes, and opened the door for Emily as she trooped in. “Gee Emily, you sure look like runny shit this evening,” he commented. “Couldn’t you have at least taken some sort of care with your appearance since you’re seeing my parents and all?”

“Like you did?” Emily shot. “What’d you do Cliff? Take a shower without pissing in it for once?”

“No actually,” Cliff replied as he slid off his skull ring and pressed it in Emily’s hand. “You have to wear this again.”

“Lucky me,” Emily quipped. She felt like shit. Her shoes were so soaked that she couldn’t possibly wear them into Josephine’s immaculate home. She would have to go about in stocking feet. Her hair hung in a big, wet, tangled mop, and her carefully applied eye makeup was smudged and smeared from the wet. She was freezing. She had only been wearing a little sheath dress to begin with, so having it soaked with rain water made her very, very, cold, and she started shivering. She couldn’t help but be offended that Cliff had told her that she looked like shit. She had spent a lot of time getting ready for tonight.

Just through the doorway she could see Mr. Burton giving Holly a hug.

“Welcome to the family. Can I call you Cookie?” he asked.

“Sir,” Cecily piped up as she tugged on his shirttails. “That’s not Miss Emily either.”

“It’s not?” Mr. Burton exclaimed, as he gawked at Holly. “Damn. Back when I was Cliffy’s age, I spent an entire month living at a Tennessee whorehouse, and didn’t see as much puss milling around. How many chicks does Cliff have prancing around this place?” He turned to Cecily. “And don’t call me Sir.”

“You don’t want me to call you Grandpa either,” said Cecily. “What am I supposed to call you?”

“Call me The Maverick,” Mr. Burton replied, and went off to fix himself another martini.

Emily shivered as she hovered in the doorway of the other room. She was going to have to deal with this? She remembered when she and James had gone over to Mr. Burton’s house to have dinner. Even then he had been hard to take, and he had been sober. She couldn’t imagine dealing with him while tipsy.

“You’re all wet,” Cliff said as he came up behind her.

“Getting caught in the rain will do that to you,” said Emily as she shivered.

“My Dad will like it,” said Cliff. “He loves to watch wet T-shirt contests on C-SPAN so he’ll certainly love this.”

Emily was horrified. Even if she at least had a jacket to throw on to cover herself up it would be better.

“Here,” Cliff slipped off Kirk’s spiffy denim blazer and slipped it over Emily’s shoulders. “Now we can both look like shit because this is my only nice article of clothing.”

The blazer was way too big for Emily, but at least it was warm and snuggly.

“You should like it,” Cliff went on. “It’s Kirk’s actually. It even smells like him, and you women all think that he smells nice. I could never smell as nice as Kirk. Nobody does.”

Emily had no idea why Cliff was always moaning about Kirk. Weren’t they supposed to be friends? Every afternoon while they worked on their cross stitch Kirk prattled on and on to Emily about how wonderful Cliff was. But for some reason, Cliff seemed to harbor ill feelings towards the guy.

“Kirk is a very kind person, and a fiercely loyal friend,” Emily replied. “Don’t pick on him.”

“Oh yes,” Cliff sighed as he led Emily into the living room. “I wouldn’t want to hurt Saint Kirk’s feelings.”

Cecily caught sight of Cliff and Emily first. She was trying to get a Tennessee whorehouse story out of Mr. Burton, who was not cooperating.

“I already raised my kids,” he retorted to the little girl as he fixed himself a shot. “Go run along now and pester Cliff. He can tell you even better whorehouse stories.”

Cecily sighed and turned around. It was there she saw Cliff and Emily entering the room.

“There she is Mr. Maverick!” she called as she pointed. “That’s Miss Emily!”

The Burtons and Aunt Josephine all whirled around. Emily felt shy and small with her wet hair and Kirk’s blazer draped over her shoulders. She didn’t know why, but for some reason she didn’t want Cliff’s family to hate her.

That’s her?” Mr. Burton asked as he sized up Emily. He turned to Cliff who was standing next to her, looking down at the floor. “Nice work,” he congratulated. “But she’s a little wet. Oh well, she’ll dry off. What kind of lies did you tell her to get a broad like that to marry someone like you?”

A big lie, Cliff thought as he began to fumble with his nicotine patches. They were kind of getting itchy, and he was starting to get a small rash on his arm from all of the sticky from them.

“You poor thing!” Aunt Josephine exclaimed. “Change out of those wet clothes and sit down by the fire. I have a robe that you could put on.” She frowned at Cliff. “Clifford, you know better than to not offer the poor girl a dry change of clothes. Emily could catch her death in those wet things. She’s going to be your wife in a couple of days.”

Mrs. Burton was more interested in what sort of ring Emily had been presented with. “Jesus Cliff!” she scolded. “You gave her your skull ring? Couldn’t you have scrounged up enough change to give her something better than that?”

“I ain’t got no money,” Cliff replied. “My money all goes to Cecily.”

“Even if she doesn’t have a pretty ring, I think that Miss Emily is the most beautiful girl in the entire world,” gushed Cecily as she gave Emily a hug, not caring that she was drenched.

Emily held Cecily close. She began to feel very sad. Cecily was such a dear, and she had grown very attached to the girl. Reality was that after this spectacle was over, Cecily would probably stay with Cliff, and Emily would go back overseas, and never see Cecily again.

“Oh Clifford she’s just perfect for you!” Mrs. Burton gushed as she too ran to give Emily a hug as well. “I couldn’t have picked out a more suitable girl myself, and she is beautiful. Do you like to go wine tasting? We’d love to take you and Clifford sometime.”

“So is it true what they say about British women in the sack?” Mr. Burton asked as he poured his son a shot.

“Knock it off!” Mrs. Burton scolded at him. She turned to Emily. “Don’t mind him. He’s just a horny, old, crazy person. We’re going to have so much fun together. Your dress is so beautiful.”

“It’s all wet,” Emily said.

“We’ll get you into some dry things,” Mrs. Burton replied. “But first we have a very special surprise to give you two.”

“Is it a puppy?” Cliff asked. “I think it would be bad-ass to have a puppy.”

“Why?” Mrs. Burton scoffed. “You didn’t take care of the last three puppies that we bought for you.”

“That’s because those puppies were gay,” Cliff retorted as he finished off his drink.

“You have a pet Cecily now,” said Mr. Burton as he pulled out a big Manila envelope and handed it to Emily. “Go on,” he pressed. “Open it.”

Emily looked over at Cliff who shrugged. He had no idea what the fuck could be in a Manila envelope. It definitely wasn’t a puppy. Emily carefully ripped open the envelope and slid out a stack of papers, and a key.

“Oh my!” she gasped.

“What the fuck is it?” Cliff asked. He craned his neck over her shoulder, brushing up against her in the process.

”They bought us a house,” Emily announced.

“No fucking way!” gasped Cliff. He greedily snatched the papers out of Emily’s hand. “Holy shit! This fucking rocks. I’ve always wanted my very own home.”

“Your father and I wanted to help you with your start in life,” Mrs. Burton said. She waited for her husband to say something profound but his attention was directed on Holly, who was sitting with her legs crossed on James’s lap. It gave him a rather nice view of her legs. “We felt that the one thing that we could give you is a start. You have a home, the gas card, no debts. We even selected a home near Aunt Josephine’s, so that Cecily could stay in the same school district. You two should be in good standing.”

“I get to pick out which room is the bass room!” Cliff announced. “This is going to be so bad ass. I want to get a hot tub for the living room. And a water bed. We must sleep in a water bed.”

Emily just sat there very silent, as Cliff went on about all sorts of moronic junk that he wanted inside his home. They just weren’t going to be able to keep the house.

“Cliff,” said Emily. “May I have a quick word with you out in the kitchen?”

Cliff frowned. Why couldn’t Emily fucking be happy for once? They had a house for Christ’s sakes, and by the look of things, it looked like a rather decent house.

He followed Emily out into the kitchen.

“You can do whatever you want about the decorating,” Cliff said once they were alone. “I don’t really give a shit what the inside looks like, just as long as you don’t paint it pink. And go easy with the throw pillows and shit. I don’t want it looking like Kirk decorated it. He used to decorate our hotel rooms and he’d have so many throw pillows and shit that you could hardly find the bed.”

“Cliff,” Emily began. “We can’t keep-”

“You’re down with the water bed right?” Cliff asked interrupting. “If not, you can sleep in the bedroom down the hall.”

“Cliff,” Emily tried again.

“We even have a backyard for Cecily,” Cliff babbled on. “I want to get some of those Tiki torch things for the backyard too.”

“Cliff,” Emily pressed.

“Let’s get a TV set mounted on the bedroom ceiling,” Cliff went on. “Then I don’t have to move from the bed. We can even get a piss pan for the bed, and I can stay in there all day.”

“We can’t keep the house Cliff!” Emily cut in.

“Why the fuck not?” Cliff shot hotly. “I’m keeping it! I’ve wanted a house more than anything in the entire world! I’m not giving it up! There’s nothing keeping us from having it.”

“Except one minor detail,” said Emily as she shoved the closing papers in Cliff’s face. “This house belongs fifty/fifty to Cliff and Emily Burton.”

“I said that you could live there too,” Cliff replied. “You can even have the bigger bedroom. I don’t give a shit.”

“Cliff,” Emily said as she shook her head. “Emily Burton doesn’t exist…”
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Lucifer's Angel
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Great update :) I like Mr. Burton, I can see why Cliff is so crazy :P I liked how Cecily wanted him to tell her Tennessee whorehouse stories :lol: And Cliff wants to fill his house with junk. I hope Emily and Cliff realize they're perfect for each other. Keep up the good work :horns2
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MissMetallica;;
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“You didn’t take care of the last three puppies that we bought for you.”

“That’s because those puppies were gay,” Cliff retorted as he finished off his drink.

“You have a pet Cecily now,” said Mr. Burton.

^^ :lol: that was genious, it made me laugh!

cliif really does resemble his father alot, he's definately his son. :P i liked how you described the rain, i could see it so well in my head. :)

i wasnt disappointed at all about the house, it was awesome! id love to be given a house and a gas card when i get engaged. and i'd love to fill it up with shit, just like cliff. :lol:

fanstastic stuff!
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Raluque
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meh... i guess hunger doesn't count when writing a great update. and i thought i had found a pattern :P . really really great update. i love the way it ended. a creat cliffhanger that could lead to a very calrifying showdown. just imagine cliff getting angry and telling her to her face that he loves her. that would be awesome! and it would be a great way for her to admit her feelings for cliff. yay! now i'm daydreaming :blush:

i love the way cliff's dad is acting. he's really fun!

getting a house for getting engaged... not too shabby! great gift!!

keep it up!
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Shayi
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Amazing :)

Somehow I see Mr Burton as a 'grown up' James. I can imagine Hetfield ending up like that in this one :) Excellent writing and characterization. Mrs Burton is so accepting of him, it's absolutley excellent. You have the 'old married couple' bit down pat here and it is perfect.

It's all going to hit the fan soon isn't it? Cliff can't keep up this charade in front of his parents for much longer... although I'm just waiting for the 'come on Emily, even if we get married, we can always get divorced again'... and I am very much looking forward to when Kirk and Cliff finally find out what Mrs Hammett's been up to. I foresee tears before bedtime!

I'm glad that Holly and Thelma have been won over by Cliff and Cess. Now all they gotta do is sort out Elsa and everything will be fine :) Although hopefully Holly won't completely lose the plot now she's with James... he's not the most reliable or useful of fellows bar in the sack. And yes, I did laugh at the Prada shoes :)

Fantastic update as always!
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Simone
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Aww Emily cut the crap!!! you KNOW you love Cliffy!! First it was Mrs. Hamster and now she being with the wedding...

what if...

They won't get a divorce? :biggrin by the sayings,that IS a true wedding and they can only divorce after :P EMILY WILL STAY WITH CLIFFYY!!!!!!

If not,I'm sharpin' mah ax and comin' to the USA!!!!! :tardlol

Yet again one of the best chapters here!! Can't wait to see/read the wedding :P With little hamster decorating everything :D

You can see that Cliff really wants to stay with Emily :heart: :heart: :heart:
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