| Welcome to zetaboards. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| To Live is to Die | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: March 5, 2008, 12:49 am (59,965 Views) | |
| Lucifer's Angel | May 23, 2008, 9:23 am Post #196 |
![]()
Heavy Metal Seanchai
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Poor Charlie, poor James OMG that was so sad
|
![]() |
|
| Fade_To_Black | May 23, 2008, 2:28 pm Post #197 |
![]()
Bad Seed
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Crap i havent replied for ages! OMG!!! So much has happened1 I love the flashbacks, the birthday one was awsome, when she saw Sully again awwww hehe.But noooo poor Charlie and James, i think this is where you left off on the old board ..i think. Excited (and worried) about what will happen next! |
![]() |
|
| Mina | May 24, 2008, 10:08 am Post #198 |
Morgenstern
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Oh god, noooo...my fear has actually come true Poor Charlie And poor James ![]() I hope they'll stand through this very very rough period...together |
![]() |
|
| maisy blue | May 24, 2008, 11:15 am Post #199 |
|
Some Kind Of Monster
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Wow. So much in this chapter. The juxtaposition of Christmas with the kids and then the loss of the baby was really breathtaking, in a heartbreaking way. I loved Charlie's thoughtful gift to Cali. So many people would have just gotten her something trendy, but Charlie went out of her way to find something meaningful, individual, and something that would link them forever. I think it also showed Cali that Charlie and her would have a relationship of their OWN, despite what might happen with James. Very very cool. That nurse was insanely cruel. Some medical professionals are absolutely ridiculous. When I had some serious medical stuff going on when I was 19, a surgeon came in to "check on me" in the late afternoon, with a huge group of male medical students trailing. I was 19. NINETEEN. So you can imagine how I felt, in a room with all these 20-something guys. The surgeon pulled down my shirt and cut into my chest with a scalpel to "try something"- no warning, didn't even acknowledge me. I just lost it. I started screaming -not a crying scream, just a high pitched siren of a scream. It was so primal. I was so tired and pissed and just ready to explode. I have NEVER seen doctors move so fast- they all just RAN away from me, as if I was spewing green acid and spinning my head. James' outburst at the nurse had me cheering, because sometimes we need to remind people WE ARE HUMAN and we still exist. I really hope Charlie and James can work it out. I am mourning the loss of the baby, though. Argh I hope Charlie can move foward- so much has been taken from her. I hope someone or something can make up for that, and start replacing all that theft.
|
![]() |
|
| Metalicious | May 27, 2008, 9:03 am Post #200 |
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Hi y'all. Now, in real life, if somebody had just had a baby - stillborn or not - they'd probably want to stick around the hospital, and be attended to, and spend a few days recouperating. This is not real life. Please suspend disbelief while I have Charlie take off. Sorry the update is so short. I'm actually having to write stuff now, instead of just using the old story! Also, it switches from Charlie's POV, to third person for the James & Pepper scene. Apologies for throwing that in there. It just seemed to work better, since Charlie's not around. ***************************************** Somehow I’d managed to hurt him again. And damn near push him off the wagon. I’d been so wrapped up in thinking about my own pain and losing the baby, I hadn’t even given a thought to the fact that this might trigger a relapse. I’d made him be strong for me, not even thinking or caring about how it might affect him. That had to stop immediately. I walked past a still sleeping Pepper, and let myself back into my room. Dressing quickly, I shrugged on my coat, and jumped when a nurse came into the room. “Miss Tyler…you can’t leave. It’s far too soon for you to be mobile.” I ignored her, gathering my bag and pushing past her. I gingerly slid Pepper’s keys out of his jacket pocket, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “See you later, baby,” I whispered. “Love you.” I walked away quickly with the nurse still calling after me, and sped up in case her shouts woke Pepper. It was pitch black outside, and I pressed the lock button on the keychain to beep the horn so I could find the car. I tried to formulate a plan on the drive back to the house. Where to go. What to do. I needed time to think. Time to decide what to do next. I climbed the stairs to the second floor slowly, pausing after every few steps to catch my breath. Pushing open the door to the nursery, I looked around, stunned. Every piece of baby furniture had been removed. The crib, the changing table, the little chest of drawers and the beautiful hand-carved bookcase that had housed dozens of children’s books, it was all gone. A lone rocking chair was all that remained, and I sank into it, gazing around the room at the emptiness. James must have arranged for everything to go the moment he found out I’d lost the baby. “You work fast, Het, I’ll give you that.” “Talking to yourself, darlin’?” a soft voice spoke from the doorway. I looked up to see Cliff leaning against the doorframe. My eyes blurred with tears and I blinked them away. "She's gone," I whispered. He was across the room in an instant, gathering me in his arms. Holding me while I sobbed, he stroked my hair, murmuring reassurances to me. "It's okay, angel, shhh," he kissed the top of my head, rocking me back and forth. Settling me back into the chair, he crouched in front of me, his hands on my knees. "You can't stay here," he said quietly. "You have to go back to the hospital, sweetheart." I shook my head. "Can't." I struggled to swallow around the huge lump in my throat. "James... " I closed my eyes, shaking my head again. "It's just, it's too much, Cliff. I don't know what to do. I don't think I can fix this." He looked at me for a long time. "You can't. Not by yourself." Brushing a hand over my hair, he stood. "Stop trying to do everything on your own. You have to let James in and you HAVE to stop running away from him every time things get difficult. You gotta trust that he won't break if you lean on him, and you have to believe you can handle it if he leans on you." He bent down to kiss my cheek and whispered softly. "You're stronger than you think, angel." I wiped at the tears on my cheeks, letting out a huge breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "I don't run away," I muttered. New York, Boston, leaving Louisiana early... "Okay, fine, so I ran away before. I just feel like I make everything harder for him." "You think he's sitting in that chapel right now, asking that you go away? Wishing for you to leave him alone?" He shook his head. "He's begging for you to be okay, Charlie. He's practically offering to sell his soul for your wellbeing. Which, FYI," he smiled gently, "we tend to frown upon." "I don't wanna go back to the hospital," I whispered. He studied me carefully. "Where do you wanna go?" "Anywhere but here." He nodded, watching while I began to pack a bag. ************************************************** I’ll call you if we hear anything,” Pep murmured, kissing Trish softly. “See you tomorrow, baby.” She nodded, waved to James, and left. “You don’t have to stay,” James repeated, getting up to rinse their mugs. “I’m fine.” Pepper said nothing, leaning against the doorframe. “She’ll be back,” James continued. “She’s probably just…gone to see Sully or something. Or maybe to visit her uncle.” “We called Sully already,” Pepper pointed out gently. “He hasn’t heard from her. And I called Tim this morning.” Walking over to James, he tried to get the taller man to face him. “James, it’s been two days. We have to tell somebody. The two of us aren’t gonna find her just by sittin’ on our asses at your house. C’mon, man…” James dropped his head forward, shoulders slumped. “I’ll clean this shit later,” he mumbled, dropping the dishcloth in the sink. “I’m going to bed.” “She’s just had a baby, Hetfield. A baby that she lost. And she’s all alone, and probably terrified, and heartbroken, and-” “She left me,” James said quietly. “She. Left. Me. She doesn’t WANT to be found, Pepper. She wants to be alone, heartbroken or not.” He lifted his head, his eyes full of hurt. “And she’s not the only one who lost a child.” Pepper started towards him. “I’m sorry.” But James had already turned away and was heading upstairs. Pepper waited a few minutes and then followed him up, finding him standing in the middle of the huge walk in closet. “Gonna play dress up?” James didn’t move, staring glassy-eyed at the rack of Charlie’s clothes. “She didn’t even take her favourite stuff. She must have been in such a damn hurry to leave…” he trailed off, running his fingers over the soft pink fleece hoodie he’d given her at Christmas. “She was so desperate to get away from me.” “Not you,” Pepper insisted. “Just desperate to get away. She does this when she gets scared. You know that.” “She’s never done it without saying goodbye before.” “She’s never lost a baby before.” James fingers curled around the sleeve of the hoodie, squeezing it tight. “I want her to come back,” he said through gritted teeth. “I know, buddy. We all do. C’mon, it’s late. Let’s get some sleep and we can organise things in the morning, make some more phone calls and shit.” Turning James away from the clothes, he guided him out to the bedroom. Sitting on the right side of the bed, he rubbed a hand over his face. “You got an alarm or something we can set?” “You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” James stared at him. Pepper shrugged. “Fine. I’ll set my phone instead.” He pulled the little Nokia out of his pocket and James knocked it out of his hand. “Hey, dick, take it easy. That thing’s delicate.” “You’re not sleeping in here.” Chuckling, Pepper shook his head. “You’re not sleeping alone.” Realising why his friend wanted to stay, James folded his arms across his chest. “I’m fine, Pepper. Even if I got the urge, there’s no alcohol in the house.” “Good. So you won’t mind if I stay in here to make sure you don’t get up at three a.m. to go get some, hmm?” He unfastened his wrist cuff and threw it on the nightstand, trying not to smile as James grew more and more agitated. “You are NOT staying in here with me!” “Uh, I think I am.” Reaching behind him, he tossed one of the pillows to the floor. “Neck problems,” he explained. “I only sleep with one. Did you want my extra one?” “No,” James snarled. Shrugging, Pepper fluffed the remaining pillow and smoothed the duvet. “Trish and Charlie both say I snore, but I’m pretty sure they’re lying, cause I’ve never heard-” “Pepper,” James’ voice was low and quiet, a sure sign that he was about to freak out. “Sleep anywhere you like in the house. Pick a room. Any fucking room. But you’re not staying in here with me.” Standing so they were almost eye to eye, Pepper laid a hand on James’ shoulder. “I’m not doing this to piss you off. I’m doing it because it scares me to leave you alone right now. The last time I fell asleep, one of my best friends stole my car keys and left town. And now I’m afraid her boyfriend’s gonna do the same thing. So humour me, okay?” “Fine,” James said quietly. “But no touching.” “Okay,” Pepper nodded, not moving. “That means get your hand off my shoulder.” Biting back a smile, Pep dropped his hand and turned around. James sank onto the bed, stretching out, and dropped an arm over his face. “Night.” Laughing silently, Pepper pushed James’ booted foot off the bed. “You’re gonna sleep like that?” “Yeah.” “Fully clothed?” “Yeah.” “With your boots on? Cause I mean, I normally sleep naked…” James lifted his arm and glared at Pepper. “Fuck you.” “Back atcha buddy,” Pepper grinned. “Take that shit off. I know you’re real pretty with your shirt off, but I can probably restrain myself.” Muttering curses under his breath, James stood and started to unbutton his shirt, while kicking off his boots. Pepper started humming a burlesque show tune and stopped immediately when James whipped his head around, glaring at him, before going into the bathroom to finish undressing in private. “Did ya want me to light some candles or something?” Pepper called. “Set the mood?” “Depends on how bad you wanna get hit,” James shot back, dropping his jeans and shirt in a pile by the tub. Standing in the doorway of the bathroom clad in just his boxers, he pointed at Pepper. “You stay on YOUR side of the bed.” Pepper nodded. “And no trying to fuckin’ snuggle with me. I’m not your wife.” Rolling his eyes, Pepper nodded again. “And so help me, if I feel ANYTHING poking me,” he warned, glaring when Pepper just laughed. “I’m serious.” “I know you are. It’s fuckin’ hilarious. Turn out the light already.” Still annoyed, James flicked off the overhead light and got into bed, facing away from Pepper. “No touching,” he repeated. “No touching,” Pepper agreed. “Except for this,” he said quickly, and squeezed James’ butt, scooting across the bed before James could smack him. Sighing heavily, James yanked a pillow over his head to drown out the sound of Pepper’s laughter, and attempted to sleep. |
![]() |
|
| Mina | May 27, 2008, 9:11 am Post #201 |
Morgenstern
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Oh Charlie ![]() I hope everything will be alright with her and she's gonna be with James again... And I REALLY hope James won't relapse, I'm worried 'bout both Can't wait for more, this is so goddamn good |
![]() |
|
| Lucifer's Angel | May 27, 2008, 9:35 am Post #202 |
![]()
Heavy Metal Seanchai
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Yeah, I'm worried about both of them I hope Charlie's all right and James doesn't relapse
|
![]() |
|
| Fade_To_Black | May 27, 2008, 12:50 pm Post #203 |
![]()
Bad Seed
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Where is she??? Im very worried! Poor Charlie, and James! And everyone, i hope things will turn out ok
|
![]() |
|
| Virtual Bettie | June 8, 2008, 9:53 pm Post #204 |
|
Poor Twisted Me
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Hey there, I just wanted to tell you what a wonderful fanfic this is, I've been reading it for a bit now. I think you have the personality complexities and insecurities of the characters down to a T. Both have trust issues for very different reasons and everything they do in the story (if you really think about it) makes sense. And thank you for a story that makes me think about things, because we can all use those. Keep up the good work and don't let this story fizzle before it comes to its end. |
![]() |
|
| PurpleRose | June 10, 2008, 11:26 am Post #205 |
|
Frantic
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I miss reading this fic ![]() Hope there's an update soon
|
![]() |
|
| Metalicious | June 10, 2008, 11:40 am Post #206 |
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
Sorry guys! I'm working on it. Just trying to decide between wrapping it up quickly without tons more drama, or... well, drama. |
![]() |
|
| Mina | June 10, 2008, 11:57 am Post #207 |
Morgenstern
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
I don't care, as long as you continue writing this goddamn awesome story
|
![]() |
|
| Broken, Beat & Scarred | June 10, 2008, 11:58 am Post #208 |
![]()
|
I vote for more drama.
|
![]() |
|
| Virtual Bettie | June 10, 2008, 12:38 pm Post #209 |
|
Poor Twisted Me
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
There's plenty of drama, even if you do an epilogue of of the two meeting a year later at a meet and greet or at Pep's house. You know at least let there be closure for them, don't leave the poor kids hanging. Now am I talking about the fic chars or the readers? LOL, probably both. |
![]() |
|
| Metalicious | June 10, 2008, 1:01 pm Post #210 |
Blackened
![]() ![]() ![]()
|
LOL. I have the ending written already, it's just a matter of what happens in between. It's so, SO soap operaish already, I hesitate to add to that. |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
|
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Het / Gen · Next Topic » |






![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
OMG that was so sad




hehe.


8:39 PM Jul 10