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To Live is to Die
Topic Started: March 5, 2008, 12:49 am (59,958 Views)
Broken, Beat & Scarred
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You're evil, you know that? :(
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Metalicious
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Blackened
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Yeah... but given how often I'm able to update lately, you won't be left hanging for long. :wink

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Broken, Beat & Scarred
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That is very, very true. :) (And thank goodness for that). :heart:
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neonguitarstrings
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Bad Seed
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YAY!
OMG,MORE SOON!
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Taimi
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Junior OSA Council member
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whoa, whats wrong with Charlie?
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Mina
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Morgenstern
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Holy sh**, what happened? O.O

I'm VERY curious now!

Update soon (that's the first time I've ever written something like this, so it has to mean something :P )
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neonguitarstrings
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Bad Seed
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OoO!
Im taking a wild guess at what happened!
Is it because Kyle said.........."Do you have any hot friends" :o!

wild guess :D
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elena
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Outlaw Torn
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What the fuck happened? :blink:
Post again!I can't wait to see what is wrong with Charlie! :heart:
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Samyzvezda
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Poor Twisted Me
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Darling please write more soon.........
I wonder what happened when she was in the bathroom.......
...does James called her???
...does she saw something there???
...OMG...I'm getting anxious!!!... :biggrin
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Virtual Bettie
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Poor Twisted Me
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Something is always happening in a bathroom, well I wait with baited breath for the next chapter. And buku thanks for the many chapters that have popped up lately. They make me feel all warm and toasty while I'm recooping from a nasty cold.
Poor Charlie, every time things seem to be looking up and going swimmingly (quite literally at points) something comes along to bite her in the ass (at least it isn't a shark).
And poor Jamie boy, in re-hab by his lonesome with only his cellphone to keep him company (and maybe a shrink or two).
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Metalicious
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Blackened
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Thanks everybody! :D

So, with the next couple of chapters, there's a flashback from when Charlie stayed with Pepper. That'll be in italics. And it's got stuff that isn't from Charlie's first person point of view. I hope it doesn't all become too confusing. :blink:

Alrighty. When we left off, Charlie had just announced to Matt that she wanted to leave the party...

*********************************************************

He didn’t hesitate. Hoisting Maggie over his shoulder, he guided me outside and led me out to the front yard where his car was parked. He tucked her into the backseat, fastening the middle seatbelt around her limp form, and tossed me the keys so I could unlock the passenger’s side door.

I unlocked his door and handed him back the keys, wiping at my eyes and trying to calm down.

“What happened?” His voice was soft and quiet. “Did Kyle do something? Or one of his buddies?”

“No, nothing like that. I, um,” I swallowed hard, trying to breath normally. “I’m sorry. This is awkward.”

He glanced over, smiling. “More awkward than vomiting in the hot tub? Because I think Maggie’s got you beat.” He was silent for a few minutes and when I didn’t speak again, he reached over to take my hand. “Charlie, it’s okay. You can tell me. Seriously. I’m a grown up. I can handle it.”

I sat shivering on the seat, my arms wrapped around my stomach. “Please just take me home.”

Squeezing my hand briefly, he let go and we drove in silence. Pulling into Kirk’s drive a short time later, he hurried around the car to open my door, and walked me through the courtyard. The lights in the main house were still on, and I didn’t bother knocking. I pushed open the door, walking straight past Kirk and into the bathroom on the lower level. Lani followed me in, closing the door behind us.

Watching me carefully, she didn’t say a word when I opened the cabinet beneath the sink. I turned to face her, holding the small box of Tampax, tears streaming down my face.

“Oh baby,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. C’mere.” Crouching on the floor beside me, she gathered me in her arms, stroking my hair. “You weren’t expecting that, hmm?”

I shook my head, sniffling. “It’s too soon,” I mumbled. “It hasn’t been long enough. This isn’t… I shouldn’t…” I gave up trying to talk and just cried instead, letting her rock me back and forth.

When I had finally stopped crying, she pulled me upright and rubbed my back while I washed my face. “Can I tell Kirk what’s going on?” she asked. “He’s gonna be worried sick by now.”

“Yeah. I, um, I just need to make a phone call. Not James,” I added, when I saw her skeptical look. “I’m sure he’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake him. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Nodding, she left the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Pepper’s number.

He answered on the first ring. “Hi darlin’.”

“Hi. Are you busy? Did I wake you?”

“No, and no. I’m just makin’ a sandwich. I accidentally had a little nap around nine pm and now I’m paying for it. What’s up with you? I’d put Trish on to say hi but she’s been crashed out since ten.”

I sighed, slumping against the cabinet. “I got my period.”

He was quiet for so long that I thought we’d been disconnected.

“Pepper?”

“I’m still here. Fuck, baby, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Do you feel alright? Did Kirk take you to the hospital just to make sure everything’s okay? Do you want me to fly out there? I can wake Trish up, did you wanna talk to her? Where’s Lani? Where are you? Are you at home?”

I felt the tight coil of panic inside me unwind a little. “I’m okay. I’m at home. Lani and Kirk are both here. I’m not going to the hospital because I don’t think I need to. And you can let Trish sleep. I just needed to talk to somebody.”

“Somebody who’s been through this with you before?” he said gently and I could hear the smile in his voice. “Do you want me to FedEx you a Divacup?”

I burst out laughing. “Oh my God. I’d totally forgotten about that.”

“What? That was, like, my most horrific day ever! How could you forget? The things I did for you…”

**********************

cont'd in next post.
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Metalicious
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Blackened
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cont'd...

****************************************

I thought back to the day in question, shaking my head and giggling.



I rolled over, blinking in the bright morning sunlight, and put a hand to my stomach. “Motherfucker.”

“Mmphh?” Pepper grunted from his side of the bed.

I chuckled. “Not talking to you. Just complaining. You want coffee?”

He made a vague noise of approval from where he’d lodged his head under the pillow, and I patted his back.

“Poor darlin’. I did tell you not to have that last beer.”

“Wasn’t the last beer that did it.” His voice was hoarse and sleepy. “Was the two four I polished off beforehand.”

As part of my therapy, Pep and I had been encouraged to discuss the rape as much as I could handle, outside our hospital sessions. The only way I was comfortable doing it was with the help of my friends Johnny, Jack and the Captain. Sharing a bed with a borderline alcoholic didn’t seem to bother Pep, but the hangovers were a bitch.

I padded into the kitchen and started the coffee, and hunted for some Tylenol. After a fruitless search of both bathrooms and Pep’s room, I returned to the living room and crouched next to the bed. “Keenan?”

He gave a pathetic muffled moan from under the pillow.

“Sweetie, did you buy any more painkillers the last time you were in town?”

The pillow lifted slightly, and he glared at me through half-closed eyes. “You know better than to ask that.”

I stared at the floor. “I know. It’s just… you’ve got a nasty hangover, and I’ve got…”

He sighed. “You’ve got what?”

“Cramps.”

The pillow dropped back down over his face and his back rose and fell dramatically, indicating an even bigger sigh. He was silent for a moment and then kicked the mattress, hard, and sat up. “Fuck.”

“You know what? Forget it. It’s not a big deal. Forget I mentioned it.” Hurrying back into the kitchen, I dug out ingredients for omelets, and poured two mugs of coffee.

“What do you need?” he asked behind me.

I glanced at the food I’d taken from the fridge. “Well, I’m using the last of the cheese, and you’re low on milk, and this is the only onion that didn’t look scary.” Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him drop his head to his chest.

“For the pain, woman. What do you need for that?”

Ohhh. “Um…doesn’t matter. Normal strength of anything is fine. Whatever you’d normally get.”

He nodded, still not making eye contact. “Anything else?”

I knew what he meant. “Pepper, really, it’s fine. I’ll go into town later and pick up some stuff. I should get used to doing stuff on my own again anyway. Honestly. It’s fine.”

“No deal. I’ll get it. You stay here, Charlie. You’re not ready yet.”

The first and only time I’d attempted going out in public had been a disaster. I’d frozen up in the car and been unable to get out of the passenger’s seat. I’d also nearly pulled off the front of the glove compartment when Pep had gently tried to pull me over to his side.

“I need to do it sometime,” I said softly.

He tilted his head. “Today?”

I considered it for a moment, feeling slightly panicked just at the thought. “Maybe not.”

“Okay. So you need…things. Woman things.”

“Tamp-”

He cut me off, holding up his hand. “Woman. Things.”

I tried very hard not to smile. “Yes, please.”

He nodded, a determined look on his face. “I can do that,” he said, more to himself than to me. “And Philip can come with me,” he said triumphantly, seeing Phil’s car pull up outside.

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

He looked serious. “This means…this means things are getting back to normal, right? Means your body’s recovering a little? Making some progress?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. That’s good. That’s good,” he repeated softly. “I’m gonna go. Gonna go, and buy the stuff. I’ll be back.” He turned abruptly and went out the door, coming back seconds later. “I’m gonna put a shirt on first.”

“Mmhmm,” I nodded, biting my lip to keep from laughing.

The boys took off a few minutes later, leaving me to nurse my coffee on the front porch.

When they weren’t home after an hour, I started to worry. By the second hour, I was pacing the kitchen, and tried calling Pepper’s cell phone, jumping when it rang from on top of the fridge. “Well. Isn’t that convenient,” I muttered.

I needn’t have worried. They pulled up a short time later, and I watched as Phil helped Pepper carry in the bags.

Lots of bags.

“Everything…should be there,” Pepper sighed, dumping his purchases on the kitchen table. “’Scuse me.”

I moved aside so he could get through to the hall, and glanced at Phil, who shook his head, laughing quietly. “By ‘everything’, I assume he means the entire store? Jesus!” I said softly, peering into the bags. He’d bought completely random items. Furniture polish, light bulbs, padded envelopes, air freshener, multi-vitamins, artificial sweetener… “Diabetic socks?”

Phil nodded, and pointed to the bag at the far end of the table.

I opened it, and clapped my hand to my mouth. Every imaginable brand and type of sanitary product was in the bag. I pulled out a box and immediately dropped it. “What the fuck is a Divacup?”

Bursting out laughing, Phil stood and dug out the little bottle of Aspirin that Pep had bought, pouring me a glass of water. “That’s fuckin’ awesome. Pep asked exactly the same thing. Here – take one of these, and come out to the porch.”

I swallowed the pill, thankful that Pepper had remembered to get it, amongst all the other stuff, and joined Phil on the swing. “So…light bulbs?”

He laughed and glanced towards the screen door. “If he hears me telling you, he’ll fuckin’ kill me, so try not to laugh.”

(Phil & Pep's store trip)

“So, she’s doin’ better?”

“Yeah, seems to be. I mean she still has nightmares and shit, but she’s making progress. Hasn’t punched me in her sleep lately,” Pep grinned as they headed into the store.

“Girl’s got a wicked left hook, that’s for sure,” Phil laughed. “Alright. Products for the ladies,” he drawled out the last word. “Ladies…sanitary…buddy, where ya goin’? The aisle’s down this way.”

Pepper glanced over his shoulder, heading away from Phil. “Yeah, uh, I gotta pick up some other stuff too.”

Shrugging, Phil followed behind.

Twenty minutes later, the basket Pepper had picked up when they’d arrived in the store was almost full, and they were still four aisles away from where they needed to be.

“…Furniture polish?” Turning the bottle over in his hand, Phil shot a look at Pepper. “Because your house is full of all those valuable antique tables and shit?”

“Shut up.”

So he did. For a full three minutes. Until Pepper tossed a pair of socks in the basket.

“Pepper...you’re not diabetic. Neither is Charlie.”

“So? They’re socks. I always need socks,” he growled.

“Man…do you want ME to go buy the goodies?” He choked back a laugh as Pepper glared, and then cleared his throat. “The stuff. Do you want me to go buy the stuff? Before you spend your life savings on,” he glanced up at the display next to them, “sugar-free chocolates and gum?

“No,” Pep scoffed. “I can fuckin’ do it.”

Thinking it might be better to leave him on his own, Phil took off to check out the magazines. Several minutes later, he looked up to see Pepper headed towards him, having replaced the basket with a large cart that was three-quarters full. “Jesus,” he muttered. Using his normal voice, he called out, “Almost done, buddy?”

“Yeah. Almost.” Reaching Phil, he stopped the cart and leaned over, grabbing the latest issue of Time.

Phil tried to peek nonchalantly into the cart, and had to turn away so Pepper wouldn’t see him smiling. Half the stationary aisle had made it into the trolley, and there would be a citywide shortage of toothpaste if he didn’t return some of what was in the cart. “I’m just gonna go over…” Phil gestured at the next aisle.

“Don’t! I said I’ll fuckin’ do it!” Pep barked, tossing the magazine down and pushing the cart forwards.

Phil waited ten seconds before reshelving the magazine and jogging after Pepper. He hadn’t gone very far. He was examining a bottle of flax seed oil when Phil came up behind him. Enough was enough. “Chicken.”

“Fuck off.”

“Pussy.”

“Fuck. Off.”

“Christ, Pep, this is worse than my sixteen year old cousin buying condoms for the first time.”

“Sixteen year old cousin? Or you? Last week?” Pep grinned without looking up.

“…Chicken.”

Slamming down the bottle, Pepper shoved the cart ahead, stopping in front of the huge display of women’s feminine products. Phil held back slightly, watching with barely concealed glee as Pepper’s face went from confusion to downright horror. “What the fuck is a Divacup? Do I have to get her one of those? Jesus Christ. I’m not buying that. Jumbo…ultra…super plus- fucking hell.”

As if on a shopping spree, he piled items into the cart, barely looking at the boxes. His hand hovered over the Divacup box, and he shook his head in disgust, tossing the package in the cart.

Coughing to cover his laughter, Phil gave him the thumbs up when Pepper turned to scowl at him.

There were four people ahead of them at the checkout.

All women.

All sneaking looks at the cart, before Pepper’s silent stare of ‘don’t fuck with me’ made them look away.

“You did good,” Phil nodded on their way to the car. “And you’ve got enough packing tape to personally ship out the next Down albums to all our fans yourself.”

“Philip…”

“I’m just sayin’.”

“Well, quit fuckin’ sayin’ it.”

“M’kay.”

They loaded the bags into the car and were about to pull out of the lot when Phil spoke up again. “Did you remember the Tylenol?”

Screeching to a halt, Pepper banged his fists on the steering wheel. “Motherfuck!”


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Metalicious
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cont'd. (present day)

**********************************************

Still giggling, I stood up, raking a hand through my tangled hair that was still wet from the pool. “Thank you,” I said softly. “I feel a lot better.”

“Happy to help, darlin’. I’m glad you called.”

“Me too. I should go see Kirk and Lani. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”

“You too. Bye doll.”

I hung up, and found Kirk and Lani in the living room.

“Matt’s upstairs with Maggie,” Lani told me. “I figured it’d be easier for them to stay here tonight. He was really worried about you.” She patted my knee on her way to the kitchen. “Want some herbal tea? I’m brewing some lotus flower as we speak.”

“Sounds perfect, thank you.” I walked over to Kirk and let myself be drawn into a tight hug. “Hi.”

“Is there anything I can do for you? Want some Tylenol? Maybe a back massage?” He tucked my head against his shoulder, patting my back like I was a small child.

“No. This is just fine. I think I’m just gonna take my tea and go to bed.” Kissing his cheek, I took the mug that Lani held out and told them both I’d see them in the morning.

Making my way over to the guest house, I stepped over Duke and Fire in the entryway. Pulling my phone from my bag, I tossed the purse on the kitchen counter and headed upstairs to bed.

With my tea on the nightstand and the light of the moon coming through the windows, I stretched out on the bed, staring at my cell phone. “Call me,” I willed James. “Please just call me. Magically be awake right now and missing me.” The phone was silent. “Fine. But first thing in the morning,” I told his phone number, “I’m calling you.”
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elena
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Outlaw Torn
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Great chapters! :heart:
I'm happy couse Charlie feels better. :) But why the fuck James didn't call her? :rolleyes:
MORE,PLEASE! :nanner: :heart:
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Metalicious
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elena
Oct 10 2008, 06:46 AM
But why the fuck James didn't call her?

Hawaii is three hours behind San Francisco. James was probably asleep and Charlie didn't want to wake him. And at the end, she was just staring at her phone, wanting him to call. But he's not psychic. At least, I don't think he is. :lol:

I'm so glad you're enjoying!
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