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| To Live is to Die | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: March 5, 2008, 12:49 am (59,976 Views) | |
| Metalicious | March 7, 2008, 6:43 pm Post #31 |
Blackened
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Thanks everyone for the lovely comments! In the upcoming posts, please ignore the bits that are a little "off", like Bob being the producer, or the year being 2005. I haven't changed details since the story's original posting a few years back, so if it reads a little funny, that's why. ************************************************************ I saw Lars’ eyes widen in shock and he abruptly got up and went inside. Part of me wanted to run after him, but I felt like I couldn’t move. “I missed you too,” I said and pressed my face against his chest, sliding my arms around his waist. “You two know each other?” James sounded incredulous. “Yeah, we go back a bit,” Pepper replied, still holding on to me so tight I could hardly breath. “Lemme go grab some more beers, babe, I’ll be right back. Don’t you go anywhere!” I didn’t want to turn around, but I felt James’ hand on my shoulder. “Charlie?” One word, many questions. I turned to face him and saw with relief that he didn’t look upset, only confused. “How do you…when did…um. Sorry, it’s none of my business, I just never imagined you’d know Pep.” I was saved from replying, as Pepper returned with the beer. He opened two of them and passed one to me. “You’re supposed to be on tour,” I said to him, a little confused myself. “I am, sugar, haven’t you checked out the site lately? All our gigs for the next couple of weeks are within about a hundred miles of here. So I’m stayin’ with Het for a bit. And when he told me his new friend Charlie Tyler was having a party, I figured I had to attend. It’s been too long,” he said, brushing a hand over my hair. James had turned back to the barbecue and was speaking with Jake, but I could see him glance over his shoulder from time to time. “Far too long. My birthday, wasn’t it?” I smiled up at him. I’d flown down to New Orleans to see him and we’d spent three days just hanging out, talking and drinking. And smoking. “I’m loving the album, think it might be the best yet.” He grinned and put an arm around me. “Thanks, babe. Nice to have your approval. It seems to be doing well, we’re getting some heavy crowds out to the concerts.” He took a swig of beer. “Might be something to do with us touring with Motorhead, but I like to think it’s just us,” he winked. I smiled and leaned against him. He felt so good. Solid and strong, he always managed to make me feel relaxed and safe. Looking down, he took hold of my arm and lifted it. “This is new, I haven’t seen it before,” he stroked the black shape on the inside of my wrist. “You still think we should get matching ones?” I giggled. I’d spent most of a very drunken evening trying to convince him that tattoos were painless and that he should get one. He had yet to be persuaded, though I could tell he was wavering when I’d suggested we both get the fleur de lis that his second band, Down, used as their emblem. I buried my face in his shirt and squeezed my arms tight around him. Looking up, I saw Lars watching us intently from across the lawn. I closed my eyes again and felt Pepper’s hands on my lower back, fingers running over the tattoo there. “Something going on with you and Ulrich?” he asked quietly. “No,” I mumbled into his chest. I turned my head slightly so I could hear his heart beating. “There might have been something there but it got too complicated.” “Gotcha. He’s givin’ you some pretty complicated looks right now, should you go talk to him?” I tilted my face up so our eyes met. “Actually, I think I’m gonna go for a swim.” I nodded towards Trish and Jackson who were diving for bottle caps with the kids. “I’m so glad you’re here,” I told him. “I’m pissed that you didn’t tell me you were coming,” I slapped his butt playfully, “but I’m so happy to see you.” He leaned down and planted a tender kiss on my temple. “Me too. I’m gonna go talk to Het, he’s been sending us some weird looks too. What should I tell him?” I looked back at James. “Tell him the truth. That we’re good friends who haven’t seen each other in a while. Oooh, and see if he wants to get that tattoo with us! Then we could all have it!” I giggled as Pep rolled his eyes and walked away. Sliding my shorts down my hips, I ignored the urge to walk over to Lars and instead jumped straight into the pool, almost landing on Trish. “Very smooth,” she said dryly as she wiped her hair off her face. “I see Keenan’s putting in an appearance. Did you know he was coming?” “No idea.” “Happy to see him?” she smiled at me, knowing full well what the answer was. I couldn’t help but grin. “Ecstatic. I’m crazy about the guy.” “I know you are. Now, would you please tell Myles to stop pinching my legs or I’m gonna turn into a shark and eat him!” She laughed and lunged at the little blond, and he shrieked with laughter, paddling away from her. The party lasted until about eleven, when I suggested that anybody who wanted to keep drinking should head to Jake’s. I called a bunch of cabs and when the dust settled, very few people were left. James and Gio were chatting by the fire, with Castor curled up on G’s lap. Trish was picking up the empties, going against my request that any clean up be left until morning, and Pepper and I were on the deck. I’d ditched the bikini in favor of jeans and a t-shirt when it started to get cool, but I was still chilly. “Cold?” Pepper ran a finger over the goosebumps on my arm. “No. I’m fine. Don’t get up,” I protested as he moved from where he’d been sitting beside me. “Relax, baby girl, I’m just running in to get you one of your biker chick shirts,” he flashed me a smile. “’kay. Ooh, can you grab me the black one? I just washed it.” Trish had given up with the bottle hunt and started roasting marshmallows beside G when I looked up again, and James was headed towards me. “How’s the little guy?” I tilted my head towards the fire. “Fast asleep,” James smiled. “He had an awesome time today, he wanted to make sure I told you.” “Hey, good stuff. I’m glad he came. He’s a really sweet kid, James. And so are Myles and Layne. I had fun hanging out with them.” “But not with Lars,” James raised an eyebrow. He’d watched Lars and I avoid each other for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Aside from the three minutes when we’d all gathered around to watch Tony and Gio arm-wrestle, I’d spent most of the party either in the pool or playing basketball with the Rob and the kids. Pepper returned to the deck and tossed my hoodie at me, slapped James on the back and then joined the group by the fire. I put on the shirt and looked up at James. “Have a seat.” I patted the cushion and he sat. “I usually ramble a lot, James, so I’ll try to make this short. I like Lars. Lars seems to like me. But it’s not gonna happen. It shouldn’t be this hard, a few days after meeting. It’s ridiculous. We’re obviously just meant to be friends. And I’m fine with that.” “Because Pep’s here now?” I hated the accusation I heard in his voice. “Pepper being here makes me very happy. But he’s got nothing to do with why it won’t work with Lars. “For a girl with so many trust issues you seemed pretty relaxed with Pepper.” “I’m not doing this, James. I’m not gonna sit here and defend my friendship with him. I shouldn’t have to.” I pulled my hands inside my sweatshirt. James was silent for a moment and then I felt his arms go around me. “I’m sorry,” he said in a low growl. “I’m very protective of Lars. But I’m also protective of Pep, even though I’m sure he doesn’t need me to be, and now that we know you’re Cliff’s kid I feel like I need to look after you, too.” He paused and cleared his throat. “And I guess maybe I was a bit jealous when I saw the way you were cuddled up to Pepper. I’m not really sure why.” I drew back slightly so I could see his face. “Maybe something to do with the protective thing? If you feel like I’m sort of your responsibility, and then you see someone else doing your job…does that make sense? Last couple of days it’s been you comforting me and giving me hugs, and then Keenan shows up and takes over. Probably threw you off a little, especially since you guys are such good friends.” James’ eyes narrowed. “I’m starting to think you’re actually Phil Towle’s kid.” I giggled. “Could you do me a favor though?” “Anything.” I caught the evil grin that crossed his face. “Okay, anything within reason.” “Could you just call Lars? Please? As his friend. He left here looking so sad.” “Actually James, he left here with one of my girlfriends,” Trish said, sitting down across from us. “Didn’t look too sad to me.” James paled visibly and turned to me. “I’m sorry sweets, I didn’t see him go with anyone. I just assumed he’d left with Myles and Layne.” “And Shelley,” Trish said quickly, glaring at him. “Guys, it’s fine. I told him we should just be friends. Can we stop talking about this now? I feel like we’re in junior high with all this boy chatter.” I stood up and went down to the fire. “We were just talking about you,” Pepper tugged on my jeans until I sat down beside him. “G’s gonna take Castor home and stay with him. I think James and I are gonna stay here tonight, hang out with you some more. That okay?” I watched as Gio carefully lifted Castor and carried him into the house. “That’s absolutely fine. I think Trish might stay too,” I turned and saw her smack James in the arm and stalk into the house. “Or maybe she’s just gonna take off in a huff. What was that about?” I asked James as he came to sit by Pep. “Turns out she’s a little protective of you, too,” he smirked, rubbing his arm. ”Wow. Quite the posse I’m accumulating. Maybe I should get you guys matching jackets,” I teased. “I think the tattoos will be plenty,” Pepper said, glancing at James, who nodded. I stared at them, speechless. And then began sputtering. “But…but how come…you said you would never,” I pointed at Pepper, “and you, James, you hate other people having the same tats as you. What the hell?” “Keep it up, angel, and we’ll change our minds,” Pepper kidded. “Different colors for each of us, and different places, okay?” James said sternly. “And don’t even think about saying you’re getting it on your other wrist, cause that’s where I want mine,” Pepper added. Bugger. That’s exactly where I wanted it. “Middle of my calf?” I looked at both of them. They shook their heads. “Dammit, guys, that’s not fair.” James laughed and got up to say goodnight to G and Castor. Pepper shifted so he was closer to me and nodding his head towards the house, he said softly, “Looks like our boy’s taken a shine to you.” He laughed as I shook my head violently. “No, not like that. Least, not that I could tell. But from the way he was talking about you earlier, he seems to care about you an awful lot, considering you only met him this week.” He kissed the top of my head. “Must be my good taste rubbing off on him,” he said, sounding very pleased with himself. “Keenan?” I asked softly. “Yes, baby girl?” he answered. “Will you move to San Francisco so we can hang out all the time? I love having you here.” “Well, let’s see. I do recall asking you to move down to Louisiana so we could get married and live in the swamp and have little swamp gator babies…” he chuckled. “And then you totally rejected me!” he shouted and began tickling me. James came running back out at the sound of my shrieking. “The hell? Pepper, put her down,” he said in a mock stern voice as Pep swung me over his shoulder. “Please, James, make him stop. I don’t want gator babies!” I couldn’t stop laughing. “Darlin’, you’ll see, it’ll be such a beautiful weddin’.” He cranked up his accent. “My cousin can play the banjo as you walk down the aisle…” “Theme from ‘Deliverance’?” said James quickly. “Absolutely. And then you can toss a bouquet of swamp roses, and we’ll have gator soup for dinner…” “Gator pie for dessert,” added James, grinning. “Wanna be the best man?” “Hell yeah!” They both laughed. Pepper eased me back down and ruffled my hair. “How about we just start visiting each other more. Now that I know you’re friends with Het, I’ve got double the reasons to come out here.” He grabbed me again and I squirmed, fearing another tickle attack. “Love you, baby girl,” he whispered low enough that James wouldn’t hear. Seemed James was oblivious anyway, he was picking up the empties where Trish had left off. “Love you too, you big, scary, swamp beast,” I grinned and threw my arms around his neck. He laid a fierce kiss on my cheek and started helping James. Entering the kitchen I saw Trish had cleaned the whole place before she left. A scrawled note on the counter said to give James a kiss for her, and to tell him he was being an ass, and that she’d call tomorrow morning. I left the note out for James to read. I’d just finished making up the second bedroom when James wandered in. “Got a question for you,” he said, sitting on the bed and leaning back on his elbows. “Shoot, buddy.” He laughed. “Okay, you’re psychic. It’s actually about shooting. I’m going hunting, leaving tomorrow. It’s just for a few days. I’ve got a cabin in Montana. Wondered if you might like to come.” I sat beside him. “I’m psychic? You’re the one who figured out I like hunting. Well, I like the outdoors bit, anyway. I haven’t done much shooting animals lately.” “Pep mentioned it this afternoon. Said you’ve got the best aim he’s ever seen on a chick. Though, judging by your aim on the basketball court, I dunno if I believe him.” “Yeah, there’s something I should tell you,” I said seriously and took his hand. “I’ve been letting you win.” His mouth dropped open. “For real?” I giggled. “No! You’re way better than me! But I am good with a gun. My uncle hunts, I learned from him.” “Same uncle who took you to see us in Montreal?” “Tim, yeah, that’s the guy.” “I’m impressed. Does he also tool around on a chopper and have a lot of tattoos?” “Nope. He drives a Merc and wears a suit to work. Bit of a weekend warrior type. James, where’s Castor in all this? Is he going hunting with you?” He sighed and stretched out on the bed, his feet still on the floor. “Gio’s flying him out to Fran tomorrow. Just for the week. She was crying last night, said she missed him too much to not see him. It’s silly, you know? I miss the girls, but I’m not whining down the phone at her-” he stopped abruptly and sat up. “Sorry. I’m not really mad, just kind of annoyed. But Castor’s excited about it, and he’s okay with G taking him, so that’s good.” “They seem like good buddies,” I smiled. “So…this cabin. I assume it’s five-star, luxury accommodation? Heated floors? Marble fireplace? Jacuzzi in every room?” “Running water and the lights usually work,” he chuckled. “The fireplace is stone. I built it myself,” he said proudly. “I just figured you could use some time away, and I’d like the company. I did ask Pepper if he wanted to come too, but he’s got a couple of commitments on Monday and Tuesday.” I hugged him and stood up. “I would love to come with you. I don’t know if I’m up for the actual shooting, but getting away for a bit sounds perfect. Recording’s on hold, is it?” He stood up also and draped his arm over my shoulders as we walked back downstairs. “Yup. Bob’s got a family thing to go to, Kirk’s father-in-law is in town, and Rob’s off to Hawaii.” “And Lars?” I asked, looking up at him. “Will have to wait until we get back. There’s just one thing.” I yawned and flopped down on the couch. “Whassat?” “We gotta leave in about six hours.” |
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| Verity | March 7, 2008, 8:00 pm Post #32 |
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The Story Girl
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That was a fun chapter! I enjoyed it immensely, especially because I live in Louisiana, just down the road from a swamp so I could appreciate the gator jokes. New Orleans is one of my favorite places to drive into for a weekend and hang out and drink. So much this chapter put a smile on my face. It was just awesome. I loved this ”Wow. Quite the posse I’m accumulating. Maybe I should get you guys matching jackets,” I teased. “I think the tattoos will be plenty,” Pepper said, glancing at James, who nodded. And this James’ eyes narrowed. “I’m starting to think you’re actually Phil Towle’s kid.” I giggled. “Could you do me a favor though?” And this James came running back out at the sound of my shrieking. “The hell? Pepper, put her down,” he said in a mock stern voice as Pep swung me over his shoulder. “Please, James, make him stop. I don’t want gator babies!” I couldn’t stop laughing. okay, I better stop before I quote the whole damn chapter!!! Anyway, brilliant, awesome, and absolutely fascinating! |
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| Lucifer's Angel | March 8, 2008, 9:27 am Post #33 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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That was a great chapter Pepper and Charlie sound like great friends, and I wonder what's going to happen with her and Lars?
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| Mina | March 8, 2008, 9:46 am Post #34 |
Morgenstern
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aaah, I love this chapter, it's sooo great But I want to see some improvement of the relationship between Charlie and Lars Poor Lars
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| Metalicious | March 8, 2008, 7:51 pm Post #35 |
Blackened
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James had set my alarm for five a.m. I woke up to see him bent over me, his face about three inches from my own. I squeaked and he laughed, backing away. “Heh…I love doing that. Usually gets me a smack from Fran.” “Too tired to smack you. I’ll kick your ass later,” I covered my mouth as I yawned. “I didn’t pack last night, but I can throw together some stuff quickly. Gimme five minutes.” I kicked him out and grabbed a duffle bag from my closet, shoving jeans and a couple of sweaters in it, along with shorts and t-shirts, my boots, sneakers, and a hat. I rummaged around the back of my closet looking for the army green jacket I’d worn when I’d last gone hunting with Tim, and found it impossibly tangled up with a couple of wire hangers and an evening gown. I threw the whole mess in the bag and zipped it. I had the fastest shower of my life, barely taking time to rinse off the soap. Throwing on a pair of jeans and a white cotton sweater, I chucked the bag down the stairs and went to Pepper’s room to say goodbye. He’d be staying at mine, taking care of the dogs while I was away. Peeking in the door, I saw he had wrestled the covers down to his waist, and was sprawled spread eagle on the bed. I smiled and he opened his eyes as if he knew I was there. “Hi babes,” he said, his voice thick with sleep. “Morning,” I whispered. “We’re gonna go in a minute. Will I see you on Wednesday?” “Count on it. C’mere.” He held out his arms and I walked to the side of the bed. He grabbed me and pulled me onto the bed, curling up around me. “Don’t shoot Het, okay? I know he can be a tough guy to get along with, and it’ll be tempting, cause you’ll have access to guns, but try to control yourself.” I giggled and rolled over to face him. “Hush, you. Easiest guy to get along with since I met you. The two of you are pretty similar. I like that.” He gave me a lazy grin and leaned forward, placing a sweet kiss on my lips. “Take care darlin’, and I’ll see you in a few days.” “Okay, buddy. Love you,” I hugged him quickly and rolled off the bed. “You too,” he mumbled as he turned over. --------------------------------------------- I stared out the window of the plane, still in awe of the fact that James had chartered the little thing for us. “I like to get places quickly. I hate waiting,” he’d explained on the way to the private airport. “You okay, Charlie?” I looked over at him, and smiled. “I usually split the gas money if I’m traveling with a friend. Just wondering how much this bad boy’s gonna set me back.” He laughed and moved to sit beside me. “This one’s on the house. We’ve got another couple of hours, feel free to catch up on your shut eye. I’ll wake you when we get there. Here, hang on.” He pulled a pillow and blanket down from one of the compartments and put the pillow in his lap, holding up the blanket like he was waiting for me. I complied and lay my head on the pillow and felt him tuck the blanket around me. “There. Probably not as comfy as your bed, but it’s the best I can do for now.” “S’perfect,” I said, and fell asleep almost instantly. True to his word, he woke me two hours later for landing. He took both our bags and I followed him down to the tarmac. There was a Ford Explorer waiting for us, and James greeted the driver like an old friend. I climbed into the backseat and tried to stay awake. We’d set down in the middle of nowhere, it seemed. We turned onto a dirt road and I was a little surprised when the driver got out and left. James moved over to take the wheel and motioned for me to come sit up front. Another twenty minutes and James pulled into a gravel driveway. I stared out the windshield. “This is yours?” I said. He nodded. “ It’s beautiful,” I murmured. We got out and I took the bags from the backseat. James unlocked the cabin and pushed the door open for me. The whole place was bathed in sunlight, and looked bigger than I’d imagined. The walls were whitewashed and the ceiling had wooden beams. I took my sneakers off and dropped the bags. James watched with amusement as I ran around, looking in each room. There were three in total. The main room, a sort of kitchen/dining/lounging area, with a massive stone fireplace, as promised, and then a bathroom and one bedroom. With one bed. “The couch folds out,” I heard James come up behind me as I stood in the doorway of the bedroom. “And it’s comfy, so I don’t mind sleeping on it.” “No way. It’s your place, you should have the bed. I love couches.” He smiled. “Very accommodating, aren’t you,” he said, flicking the brim of my baseball hat. “Didn’t know you were a fan of the Rangers,” he added. “I’m not. I just like the big ‘T’ on it. Go Texas!” I grinned. “Or Tyler, as the case may be.” “Want some breakfast? I doubt that Starbucks mocha thingy filled you up.” “Hmmm…whatcha got?” I followed him back to the main room. “Bacon, eggs, potatoes,” he listed the things off as he pulled them out of his bag. “…onions, mushrooms, bread, steak, cheese, milk, juice, coffee,” he kept rattling off food items. I took a step back and tilted my head sideways. He stopped and looked at me. “What?” “I have just figured out what this is really about,” I said slowly. He looked confused, and a little worried. “You’re gonna fatten me up, and then you’re gonna hunt me and eat me. Oh man. You are one sick puppy,” I gasped in horror. He burst out laughing and threw a pepper at me. “Start chopping, freak.” We ate an enormous breakfast, and then James said he wanted to take me on a hike to show me where we’d be hunting tomorrow. I changed into cut-offs and a t-shirt and was lacing up my sneakers as he came out of the bedroom. Smirking at me, he went back into his room and returned with his black hoodie. “You’re cold?” I asked, confused. It was at least 80 degrees out. “Nope. Might need this later though if it cools off.” We headed out, and walked for a few hours at a leisurely pace. Chatting about music, mostly. He almost went into hysterics when I told him I had seen Christina Aguilera in concert while living in London. “Oh man,” he gasped, pointing at me, “any respect I had for you, it’s all, pffft, out the window.” I ignored him and kept walking. “Who else have you seen? Britney? Um…Maroon 5? Backstreet muppets?” “Johnny Cash.” I said, sticking out my tongue at him. “No shit, really? When?” “Glastonbury, 1994. I was on an exchange program with school and the girl’s family had tickets. It was amazing. I feel kinda privileged I got to see him before he died,” I said. “He’s what got me more into country music.” I should have known that would just start him off again. We continued walking, with him tossing out names of bad country songs as we went. I knew that he was a fan of Waylon and Willie and a couple others, so I didn’t take him too seriously. He fell silent for a few minutes and I thought he’d finally run out of insults. Then all of a sudden he began to sing quietly. “…she thinks my tractor’s sexy…” He threw me a sideways look and I jumped on him. “Ass!” I hollered. “Actually, it’s my back you should be worried about, darlin’,” he chuckled as he grabbed my legs and hoisted me a little higher so he was piggy-backing me. “James, this is gonna hurt you later on.” “No, it’s fine. You’re pretty light. It’s not that much further anyway.” He boosted me up again and I looped my arms around his neck. “Save a horse, ride a cowboy, I suppose,” I giggled. “Hey! Big and Rich! Now that’s decent stuff. And maybe a little Tim McGraw and Toby Keith if I’m in the right mood for it. You know, Pepper’s got a pretty good voice for country. You’ve heard that cover of Tuesday’s Gone he did with us?” “Yup, love it. Wish he’d sing like that more often. Instead of all the yelling,” I said. “I do like COC, but he’s got such a pretty voice that sometimes I feel it’s wasted. At least with you, there are songs where you can really showcase the fact that you can actually sing.” “Um…thanks? I think?” I laughed. “Yeah, that was my sneaky way of telling you that you have a nice voice. I remember the first time I played ‘Astronomy’ for my dad, he was all, ‘Whoa… James can sing!’” He stopped walking and I slid down from his back. We’d reached a clearing on a cliff that overlooked a big valley. The sheer size of the drop took my breath away. I grabbed his hand and backed up quickly. He smiled and squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry. I didn’t bring you out here to jump. You make good scrambled eggs, I think I’ll keep you around.” We climbed onto a massive boulder and I stretched out, closing my eyes to the sun’s rays. “Tell me about you. Like little you, growing up and stuff.” I opened one eye and saw James looking at me. “Okay…” I closed my eyes again. “I grew up in a big farmhouse, in rural New England. Not an actual farm, though. We had a massive garden, and my mom always let me have some of the space to grow whatever I wanted. My earliest memory, at least I think it’s the earliest one, is of picking raspberries from the bushes there when I was about two. I remember squishing them in my hands and licking the redness off my fingers. My dad just about had a heart attack when he saw me. He had me halfway to the emergency room thinking I’d cut myself, when he noticed I kept sucking my hands.” “Bet he thought he’d adopted a baby vampire,” I heard James chuckle. “I had my first kiss when I was six,” I continued. “His name was Jeremy, and he had a very sticky mouth. I think he’d been eating glue.” More laughter from James. “My first real kiss wasn’t until I was thirteen. His name was Matt. He kissed me behind the school and asked if he could be my boyfriend. Then I kicked his ass at floor hockey during gym class and he broke up with me. Bastard,” I giggled. “Lemme see. My favorite band when I was little was Duran Duran. My cousin had a huge influence on me and he loved them. I had all their tapes, and drove my parents nuts listening to ‘Wild Boys’ over and over again. I also knew everything there was to know about them. Simon LeBon’s favorite flower is the rhododendron,” I said, opening my eyes to catch James grinning at me. “And John Taylor’s favorite food is his mother’s home-cooking.” “You are scarily knowledgeable about them,” James agreed. “Tell me more. But not about Duran Duran,” he added. I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest. Untying my shoes, I kicked them off and threw my socks down after them. “Um…I used to write poetry. Lots of it. I was a hit with my eighth grade english teacher until I wrote one about watching someone die.” James stared at me. “Seriously?” “Yeah. I wrote it about a fisherman I’d seen drown the previous summer. The other guy with him actually tried to save him, but the second guy kept pulling him down. We were at my grandparents house, on the side of a river, and too far away to get to them in time. I watched the whole thing through binoculars. I remember my dad being on the phone with the police, and my mom kept trying to get me to stop looking. She wouldn’t let me go down to the water for days, afraid the body would wash up and I’d be scarred for life.” “So instead you just wrote freaky, whacked out poetry about it, huh?” James smiled. “Yes, pot kettle, that’s exactly what I did. Freaky poetry, indeed. Have you read your stuff lately?” I poked his leg. “Good point. Nice toes,” he pointed at the pink polish. “I can’t figure out if you’re a girlie girl or a guy’s girl.” “Both,” I answered quickly. “I have a few very close girlfriends. And when we get together, there’s a great deal of gossiping, squealing and discussion of boys. But I find girls are harder to trust. And there always seems to be a competitive undercurrent. So most of my friends are guys. It’s just easier.” “You don’t find they want to take things further?” James raised his eyebrows. “Sometimes. I remind them that they can have one night of awesome sex, or a lifetime of hanging out and going to ball games, me cooking huge meals for them during Superbowl, and giving them girl advice. They usually go for the long term benefits.” “How many have taken you up on the other?” he asked slyly. I winked. “A lady never tells.” “Who says you’re a lady! Pink polish does not a lady make,” he grinned and hopped down from the rock. “C’mon, lady, we should head back. Put your shoes back on. Ten deer just dropped dead from the smell. You’re takin’ all the fun out of hunting them.” I laughed and put my socks and shoes on again. It had cooled off considerably and James offered me his sweatshirt. “I brought it along for you, anyway. Women always get cold. And normally fail to plan ahead,” he patted my head. He lit a fire when we reached the cabin, and I started preparing some food, as we’d skipped lunch. He came up behind me and one arm wrapped around my waist, while the other plunked a bottle of tequila in front of me. I felt as though someone had knocked the wind out of me. I tried to turn away but he kept his arm tightly around me and pulled me against him. “Calm down. It’s not for me. It’s for you.” Letting go of the bottle he ran his hand over my hair. “Pep and I had a bit of a chat last night after you went to bed. Before you get all worked up, you should know that he didn’t tell me anything of substance. Just that he knows that you get nightmares, and he knows what’s behind them. He thought it might be good for you to talk about it.” He let out a breath. “With me.” “And the tequila?” “Is to loosen your tongue. He figured it might be hard for you to get started.” He released his hold on me and turned me so we were face to face. “You don’t have to do this, Charlie. I only brought it up cause it’s just you and me. No interruptions, no one to intrude-” “No one to hear me scream,” I added quietly. He looked at me. “I said no interruptions,” he smiled. “You just interrupted me.” I felt the corners of my mouth twitch. “Oh no no no, no smiling,” he said. “Go back to the sad face. Go on…” I broke into a huge grin. “You’re such a dork!” I slapped his arm. He put his hands on my face and looked at me, blue eyes searching my green ones. “No pressure. I just think it might be good for you.” He let go of me and added more wood to the fire. “Good for me. I hate doing things that are good for me,” I muttered at his back. “What was that?” he looked up. “I said good job with the fire.” “Yeah. Somebody’s a liar.” He grinned at me. Oh noo…he wasn’t…heh. “At least I don’t have a spare tire,” I said slowly, patting my flat stomach. “Hey…watch the insults, or I’ll turn this into a funeral…pyre!” he finished triumphantly, jerking his thumb at the flames. I shook my head. “Terrible, Hetfield. Absolutely terrible. No sense of rhythm.” I ducked as a balled up sheet of newspaper went sailing past me. Dinner was awesome. Steak and potatoes and asparagus and baby carrots. And no tequila. James glanced at the bottle every so often, and then at me. I’d just shake my head. After the dishes were cleaned, James tossed a deck of cards on the floor by the fire. “What games do you know?” “Um…poker, blackjack, hearts…crazy eights, go fish and snap.” “Okay, I’m gonna make up a game-” “A drinking game, by any chance?” I butted in. “Hush. I’m gonna make up a game. It’s very simple. I hold the cards. You call it, red or black, before I lay it down. If you’re right, you get to go again. If you’re wrong, you have a little drink.” “James Alan Hetfield, I cannot believe you are encouraging me to get drunk.” Noting his heavy sigh, I threw up my hands. "Fine, start your silly little game. But I’m warning you, if this works, you’re gonna be so sorry you asked.” He looked at me. “If it helps you, then no, I won’t be. If it hurts you, then yeah. But you can always shoot me if it doesn’t go well,” he joked. “Pepper said I wasn’t allowed to do that.” “Remind me to thank him. Alrighty. First card. What’ll it be?” “Black.” The deck was against me from the start. I had four shots within the first five cards. Thank goodness for lemon and salt. After the sixth shot I told James we didn’t need the cards anymore. I was fine to keep drinking without them. And then for good measure, I threw them in the fire. James just poured me another shot and handed me a lemon. I poured salt on his hand and licked it off. Sucking on the lemon, I peeled off the rind and threw that into the fire with the cards. “You’re not gonna toss me in there, are you?” James grinned at me. “Maybe. Better not piss me off,” I giggled. Deciding that our little set up was too inefficient, I made James be the hands of the operation. Tequila bottle in one hand, salt and lemon in the other. He held up his hand, I licked it, held up his other hand and I took a swig from the bottle, and then he stuffed the lemon on my mouth. Half the bottle was gone by the time I was ready to talk. I turned around, and James held up his hand. “More?” “No, gimme,” I reached for the tequila, with every intention of throwing it in the fire and James held on to it. “No, sweetie, you might burn down Papa Het’s cabin,” he smiled sweetly at me. I smiled back and climbed into his lap, laying my head on his chest. “James…” “Mmm?” “I think you’re dead. I can’t hear your heart beating.” He put down the bottle and wiped off his hand before lifting me and setting me down on his other knee. “Better?” I listened again. “Yes. You’re alive. Oh good.” He stroked my hair and I snuggled up closer. “Okay. I’m ready.” I whispered. He shifted me slightly and looked down at me. “You’re sure?” “Yeah. I don’t imagine it’ll take that long anyway. I can sum it up for you in a hundred words or less.” “Don’t do that. Say everything you need to, sweets. It’ll help.” I nodded. “Before I start…thanks for bringing me here, and doing this. I might not feel like thanking you later, but I know you’re right. It’s good for me,” I sighed. He kissed my forehead and held me against him. “Alright. I met Pep almost two years ago. In August. Right around your birthday actually. A buddy and I were doing a little road trip through the southern states, and her brother is friends with Phil Anselmo. So we get invited to this barbecue shindig they’re having at Pep’s house, you know, all the guys from Down were gonna be there, and we decide to check it out, and it turns out to be awesome. Those dudes know how to do the best marinade ever. Amazing. So we’re there, hangin’ out, eating and drinking, and some of the guys are smoking the biggest joints I’d ever seen. And I was sitting alone, for some reason, under a tree, and Keenan walks up and says it’s a crime for a pretty girl to eat alone. I yelled at him for such a cheesy line, but I let him sit with me anyway.” James laughed. “Yeah, he’s a charmer, isn’t he,” he smirked. “Adorable. Once I actually started talking to him, we kinda hit it off, and wound up spending most of the night under the tree, talking and drinking beer. My friend had left earlier so I crashed on the couch at Pep’s house. And when I got up the next morning, Pepper was gone but he’d left me this really long note about how he’d had a wicked time talking to me, and that I should come out with him that night. So I hung out with Phil all day, which, wow, is that ever an experience,” I giggled. “And when Pepper came back, we took off for some local dive. The beer was ridiculously cheap, I remember that. I kept buying rounds and translating the money into British pounds and thinking, holy shit, it’s almost free.” “So that was, what, eight months after you left London?” James asked. “I know I’m not supposed to interrupt, I just wanna get the timeline straight in my head.” “Yeah. I moved back to the States in January. Cool?” “Cool. Please continue,” he said. “You were buying the beer…” “Yeah, I was buying the beer. Anyway, we were getting pretty shitfaced, it was ridiculous. Pepper was calling me on my cell phone while I was at the bar, from his cell phone about four feet away, yelling at me to hurry up. We thought that was pretty hilarious. And then at one point Pepper leaned over and tried to kiss me, and I just cracked up. And then I yelled at him for a good five minutes about the mind-blowing sex versus the lifetime of friendship thing. And he got really quiet, and stared right at me, gave me that look that you did the other day, the ‘I can see into your soul’ one that creeps me right out. And he said he already knew we were gonna be best friends forever, he just figured we should get the sex out of the way so we could get on to the lifetime of friendship. And I might have done it, except this hottie little waitress girlie came over and dropped herself right into his lap, much like I am now, and she stayed there for the rest of the night. Even though he kept sort of shoving her out of the way so he could see me while we talked. She was pretty determined.” I moved off James’ lap and sat on the floor instead. He held my hand and shot me a questioning look. “In case I get sick. Happens now and then when I talk about it,” I mumbled. He just nodded and kept hold of my hand. “Okay, so it was getting really late, and I was tired of having to lean around the waitress to talk to Pep. So I told him I was taking off, and that I’d see him in the morning, find out how things went with the girl. He offered to come with me, but I told him he was being silly. And then I remember turning around just as I was leaving the bar, and he turned around at exactly the same time and we both just kinda stopped and stared at each other. Then I left. It had only taken us, like, ten, fifteen minutes to walk there, so I figured I’d be back at his place in no time. I walk really fast when I’m drunk. Wanna see?” I looked up at him. “Maybe later?” There was that sweet little smile again. “Yeah, okay. Anyway, I get maybe, three hundred yards from the bar, and this guy comes up to me and asks if I have a light. I say no, and tell him that the bar down the street had matches if he’s that desperate. Cause the bar, was like, the only thing on the road. Swear to God, James, Pepper lives in the middle of nowhere! Kinda like here…” I looked around me. “So you didn’t have a light,” James prompted. “Oh yeah. I suggested he go to the bar, and then he brought his arm up and I saw the baseball bat about half a second before he nailed me with it.” I heard James suck in a ragged breath and I plowed ahead. “And my knees pretty much gave out on me, so I was on the ground pretty quickly, and then I noticed the four other guys that had come out of the ditch.” James’ grip on my hand got tighter. “Nobody else had a bat. One guy had a golf club, one guy had a pool cue, I think the fourth guy was carrying a hockey stick, very sporty, these guys, except that it’s ridiculous to carry a hockey stick in the middle of summer, c’mon. And then the last guy, who was a lot older than the rest of them, he had a tire iron. So I’m crouched on the ground, my head is bleeding, and I see these five guys making a little circle around me. And all of a sudden my phone begins ringing. So baseball bat guy grabs my bag and answers the phone.” I sighed heavily, remembering. “It was Pepper, checking to make sure I’d gotten home alright. The guy told him I was fine, that I’d passed out already. I think Pepper thought he was talking to Phil. And that’s when I realized that I wasn’t gonna be going anywhere for a while. I started screaming and crying and kicking at them, and they’re just standing there, calm as you please. And then baseball bat guy steps up and channels fuckin’ Barry Bonds and I thought my head was gonna be knocked off. Mostly it just helped me zone out. I could still hear them, and I could definitely smell them, and I could sort of feel what they were doing, but really I was pretty spaced out, and trying not to think about it. I thought maybe if I shut up they’d get bored and take off.” I looked down at my feet and started chipping away at the pink polish. “But they didn’t. I remember the baseball bat guy smelled like maraschino cherries and Bacardi. Second guy was a blur, and third guy was almost too drunk to get it up, he took ages. Fourth guy was hockey stick man, and last was the old guy. He smelled like he hadn’t showered, like, ever. He was very, um, thorough. And he liked hitting. And the whole time he was on top of me I felt something digging into my back and it took me ages to figure out that I was lying on top of the tire iron, pointy end up. Felt like I was being impaled on a spike. Twice.” I picked up the tequila bottle and took several swallows. “I finally lost consciousness when the guy rolled me over and started using the tire iron in other ways, and I woke up four days later, in the hospital. The first thing I saw was Pepper’s face. Looked like he’d been awake and drinking since I left him at the bar. Doctors kicked him out when they realized I’d woken up, but the two of us made such a fuss about it that they immediately let him back in. And he pretty much stayed by my side for the next six months. I spent three weeks in the hospital, Pepper sleeping on a cot beside my bed. We didn’t talk much. He held my hand a lot, I couldn’t handle any other touching, even from him. When the doctors said I could leave, I moved into his house. He bought this massive king sized bed and had it set up in his living room, so he could sleep beside me without having to worry about accidentally brushing against me in the middle of the night. We made it about three steps into the living room before both of us broke down crying. He kept saying it was all his fault and I kept saying it wasn’t, even though part of me was furious with him for not coming with me. Once we’d finally finished that particular crying jag, we fell onto the bed and slept for about eighteen hours.” I stretched my legs out and examined my nails. I’d picked all the polish off one foot. “Pepper was amazing. He stayed with me every night, hung out with me all day, held me when I could stand to be touched again, and didn’t freak out when I had panic attacks and screamed at him. He came to every doctor’s appointment, every meeting I had with the police, lawyers, all that. The only other time I saw him cry was when we went to see one of the doctors, and she was worried that I might not be able to have children. She was running through all the damage that had been done, listing off the various things they’d used and what they’d done with them – very creative, those Southern boys – and at one point, I looked over at Pepper and he had tears streaming down his face. I felt so horrible, I just grabbed him and took off, we didn’t even wait to hear what she else she had to tell us.” I took another deep breath and started to wrap it up. “I stayed with Pepper until January. I had some of my stuff sent down, clothes and books and stuff. I even did a bit of work. But mostly I just hung out with him. He taught me how to play the banjo, I can actually do the song from Deliverance.” James gave a soft little laugh at that. “I taught him how to knit. Never ever tell him I told you that. But if you ever see him wearing a wool sweater, chances are he made it. He got pretty good. We watched a lot of movies, and he read to me for hours on end when I couldn’t sleep. He never complained, never took off to be by himself, not when I was awake, anyway. I asked him if he was spending all this time with me because he felt guilty, and he said no. Just that he’d let me out of his sight once and almost lost me, and figured he’d better stick around so that never happened again.” I finally stopped talking and looked up so I could see James’ face. His eyes were wet and there were lines of moisture down his face. I reached up and touched his leg. “Fuck, James. I knew this was a bad idea.” “It’s fine, Charlie.” “No, it isn’t fine, you’re upset.” “I’m not upset,” he nearly yelled at me. I was on my feet in a flash. “Don’t you dare,” I pointed at him, backing away slowly, nearly falling over the tequila bottle. “Don’t you dare get mad at me after everything I just told you. This was YOUR idea. You’re the one who brought the liquor, you’re the one who said it would be good for me to talk, you’re the one who started the damn card game! And now you’re getting mad at me? What the hell? You know what, Het? I don’t need this. So you can just forget everything I told you and we can pretend it never happened. That’s fine with me,” I shot out the front door and ran into the darkness. |
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| maisy blue | March 8, 2008, 8:32 pm Post #36 |
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Some Kind Of Monster
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Gasp... oh my God. Poor Charlie. This was REALLY well written. I mean, astonishing. I'm glad I'm alone right now because I wouldn't want to explain to anyone why I'm gasping and yelling "no! no!" at the computer. I'm really shocked that Charlie would be brave enough to go into the woods with a guy she barely knows, even if it is Hetfield. And I hope she does explain to lars what happened. James better explain himself, PRONTO! Wow, this is amazing and riveting. I know I am going to be hitting "refresh" over and over until I see an update! Thank you for reposting this, because I would have never gotten to read it otherwise. |
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| Metalicious | March 8, 2008, 8:53 pm Post #37 |
Blackened
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Awww, thanks! And completely excellent point about Charlie's trip to the wilderness with an almost total stranger. Anyone in her shoes would probably be a lot more wary about something like that. But there are a shitload of plot devices in this story, to make it take the route I wanted. She's far too trusting, she's clumsy, she gets a little slutty later on, because I couldn't decide on which guy to put her with, and I pretty much made a ton of bad shit happen to her just to further the storyline. It's pretty much a soap opera. But it was super fun to write. Now... I believe I have some reading to do. I saw an update in your untitled fic! |
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| Lucifer's Angel | March 9, 2008, 9:33 am Post #38 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Wow, that was so dramatic, poor Charlie And Pepper sounds like a wonderful guy, and so does James. This fic is so good and interesting, keep going
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| Metalicious | March 9, 2008, 9:41 pm Post #39 |
Blackened
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A little more before bedtime... **************************************************************** Realizing I had no idea where to go, I sank to the ground and wrapped my arms around my knees. Stupid James and his stupid tequila. Which I’d just left him alone with. Oh fuck. Pep would never forgive me if I made James fall off the wagon. I got up, slightly dizzy and ran smack into James. “I’m sorry,” he said, gripping my shoulders. “I was scared, and I felt so helpless, it made me mad. I shouldn’t have let you see that.” He cupped the back of my neck and drew me towards him. “So sorry honey. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just couldn’t stop picturing you, all broken and abused, and it frightened me. Please come back inside?” It was a plea, as if he thought I was seriously considering spending the night on the ground. “I’m sorry I yelled too,” I mumbled as we walked back to the cabin. “You scared me. I didn’t like it.” We were back on the couch. He ran his hand over my hair. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, sweetie. I gather this is why things weren’t, um, progressing with Lars?” “Yeah. There’s been no progressing with anybody since it happened, actually. Somebody always chickens out at the last minute.” I looked up at him. “Usually me.” He smiled a little. “Understandable. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you, but I bet the memories are still pretty strong. That must make things difficult.” “Yup. I’m fine with being cuddled or held, and kissing’s okay, there was none of that. But as soon as there’s, um, groin action involved, I’m outta there. And you think that’s bad,” I continued, “think of how long it took me to watch a ball game again! First time the guy stepped up to the plate they practically had to peel me off the ceiling!” James grinned and kissed my forehead. “I’m glad you’re okay with telling me this stuff. Means a lot to me that you trust me.” “Trust you? You poured half a bottle of Cuervo down my throat,” I giggled. “Nah, I’m kidding. I trust you. I know it’s kind of weird that I make jokes about it, but that’s how I deal best. I have to sort of distance myself and then find the humor, otherwise I just cry all the time. And that’s exhausting.” James put an arm under my back and legs and lifted me carefully. “Bedtime,” he announced. And proceeded to walk into the bedroom and place me on the bed. “Nooooo, this is your bed. I have dibs on the couch,” I whined. He peeled back the covers and rolled me under them. I watched as he took off his shirt and jeans, and crawled in beside me with only his boxers on. “Whatcha doin’?” “Not letting you out of my sight,” he murmured and curled up behind me. When I woke a few hours later, James was on his stomach, arms tucked under his pillow. I felt wide awake, and worried that if I stirred too much I’d wake him, so I slid to the edge of the bed and stepped onto the floor. Grabbing his sweatshirt, I pulled it over me and went into the main room, closing the bedroom door behind me. The fire had almost died out, only a few embers still glowed. One of the playing cards had escaped the flames. The ace of spades lay beside the ashes on the grate. I smiled, thinking of Motorhead, and my thoughts immediately turned to Pep, who’d been so thrilled when he told me COC were going to be touring with them. I wondered if I’d ever be able to return all the favors he’d done for me, wondered if I’d ever be able to thank him enough. How could I repay him for coming with me every time I got an HIV test back, for holding me as I sobbed with relief that it was negative? How could I ever say thank you enough for staying with me night after night, for being patient while I learned how to trust again, for gently pushing me bit by bit until I was able to accept affection in its physical form? I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, remembering the first time he’d manage to trap me in a hug without me hyperventilating. He was so happy with that little victory that he spent the next week taking every opportunity he could to hug me, until it felt as natural to me as breathing. The tears came faster, and I reopened the bottle, taking several sips. Without it, I’d never have got up the nerve for my chat with James. But I hadn’t talked about the rape in so long, and it was more painful than I’d expected to revisit the memories. Hundreds of hours of therapy couldn’t erase the way that the smell of candied cherries still made me gag, nor could they change the way my heart leapt into my throat when someone asked me for a match. Moving to the window, I looked up to the stars. I hadn’t seen that many of them in a long time. San Francisco wasn’t known for its light pollution, but it wasn’t exactly the countryside, either. Unlocking the door, I took a few steps and lay down. The grass was damp and cool, and my cutoffs weren’t much protection from the hard ground but the view made up for it. I could make out all the constellations I knew. I wondered how many satellites could see me at that moment. I wondered if my parents could see me. If Cliff could. If he was watching over me, and James. “Charlie?” I tilted my head back and saw an upside down James silhouetted in the doorway. Rolling over I pushed myself off the ground, wiping the dirt and grass from my legs. He came out to meet me and wiped my face. “Tears, baby?” Strong arms went out to steady me as I started to sag to the ground. “Shhhhh, it’s okay.” “Not okay, James. I hate this. I’m so tired of being scared. It’s been almost two years. Why can’t I fix this? Why am I not over it yet?” I looked up and saw the look I feared the most. “Please don’t, James. I can’t stand pity.” “Babes, it’s not pity. It’s sadness. There’s a difference. You were the victim of a horrible crime, and some of the scars haven’t healed yet. You gotta give it time, remember?” He smiled as he repeated the words I’d said to him. “I’ve given it time,” I said, angrily wiping my face as more tears flooded my eyes. “I’ve given it the last 22 months of my life. I’ve thrown myself into work, into sports, into being a friend to everybody and a lover to nobody, and I’m fucking sick of it!” I stamped my bare foot on the ground and cursed when I hit something sharp. James picked me up and carried me to the cabin. Laying me on the couch he sat at my feet, examining the right one. Carefully picking out the fragment of rock that had been embedded in my heel, he traced his fingers over the tattoo on my ankle. “What about this?” he asked quietly. “What about that?” I shot back. “It’s just a tattoo, James. It doesn’t have any power. Lots of people are crying out to God right now, there aren’t enough hours in the day to sort out everybody’s problems. And most of them are far worse than mine.” I tried to relax. He was just trying to help. “Can’s open. Worms are alllll over the place,” I joked. He didn’t smile. “I hate seeing you like this.” His voice was a low growl. “I hate knowing there’s nothing I can do. I don’t know how to fix it either, Charlie. I’m sorry.” He lowered his eyes. “What about Pepper? Have you…” The question was understood. “We tried that. Once. Couple of months after it happened. It was such a disaster. I wasn’t ready, mentally or physically, I think. Every time I closed my eyes I flashed back to that night. The kissing part was fine, but then his hand got to about here,” I tapped the button on my shorts, “and I was sick all over the bed. Poor guy. Blue balls and vomit. Not a fun way to spend an evening. I was so pissed off with myself. I trust Pep more than anyone else in the world, but I couldn’t push my anxiety down long enough to get laid. And it’d been a while for him too, I mean, it would have been over pretty quickly.” That earned me a quiet chuckle from James. He was doing the foot massage thing, and I felt myself getting sleepy again. I had almost dozed off when I heard his voice again. “What about me?” I opened my eyes saw him looking at me, fingers still gently kneading my skin. “What about you?” I repeated softly. “But Lars tried and…” “And he didn’t know what I know. And you and Pepper tried too soon after. And I can’t think of anything else I can do to help you.” He looked so forlorn that I wanted to say yes just to get that sadness out of his eyes. “James, that’s a very sweet offer, but what about Fran? Better still, what about you? I don’t want you to get hurt, or, vomited on, for that matter.” I gave him a weak smile and reached for his hand. He pulled it away and held it up, and I saw that his ring finger had a small white line of skin where his wedding band had been. “It’s over,” he said firmly. “She wants a divorce. She’s damn well gonna get one.” I stared at him in shock and then burst out laughing. He looked confused and I shook my head. “I never wanna get on your bad side, Het. You’d just tear me apart.” He leaned back against the arm of the couch, staring at me intently. “You’ve already been torn apart, Charlie. I wanna be the one who puts you back together.” I smiled. “I dunno, James. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men…” He looked horrified. “You’ve tried it with horses? And you called ME a sick puppy before? Damn…” he grinned, and then got serious again. “Do you actually want this, Charlie? I know you said you were tired of feeling this way…” I sat up a little. “I don’t wanna come across as a little nympho, but I used to like sex, James. A lot. And I miss it. I miss the build up, the little touches during dinner or the movie or whatever came first. Knowing that it was gonna lead to more. I miss falling asleep sweaty and naked and waking up at four a.m. to get sweaty all over again. And I miss the cuddling afterwards. I’ve been hugged more this week than I have in the past year, and I love it, but it’s not the same.” I glanced over at James. His expression hadn’t changed. “So yeah, I do want this. I’m just afraid that I’ll mess everything up.” He stood up, and I thought he was going to say goodnight. Then he held out his hand. “It’s about four a.m.” He flashed a grin at me. “Time to get sweaty.” |
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| maisy blue | March 9, 2008, 10:20 pm Post #40 |
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Some Kind Of Monster
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You HAVE to post more. You can go to bed later!!! ARGHHHHHHH this story is so good!! |
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| Verity | March 9, 2008, 11:35 pm Post #41 |
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The Story Girl
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That was so beautifully written. Poor Charlie. I could see how watching a baseball game would be difficult for her regarding all that's she been through. It was painful for me to read that part when she told James everything. I felt sooooo fucking sorry for her. This was awesome Hundreds of hours of therapy couldn’t erase the way that the smell of candied cherries still made me gag, nor could they change the way my heart leapt into my throat when someone asked me for a match. Very real. Very genuine. I hope more will come to us soon. it!!!!
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| Mina | March 10, 2008, 9:13 am Post #42 |
Morgenstern
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SO goddamn well written, it's amazing! Poor Charlie... But I'm SO curious what'll happen next, what's with her and Lars etc.etc. Can't wait for more, am still SO hooked!
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| Lucifer's Angel | March 10, 2008, 9:35 am Post #43 |
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Heavy Metal Seanchai
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Poor Charlie, that was horrible. The part about the therapy is so real, poor girl. And what's going to happen between her, Lars and James?
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| Fade_To_Black | March 10, 2008, 1:39 pm Post #44 |
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Bad Seed
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Ive not been on this site for aaaages lol and i cant believe you're re-posting this fic TLITD is my favourite fic to read!!! I remember reading it on the other board but didnt finish reading itr Your such a good writer hun!!!! I frickin LOVE this story!!!
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| Metalicious | March 10, 2008, 9:45 pm Post #45 |
Blackened
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Rated R for diRty. ************************************************************* I insisted on showering, even though he said it was silly, since the whole point was to get sweaty. But I needed to control as many of the factors as I could. I might not be able to fight off the images that popped into my head, but I could have smooth legs and smell good. I wrapped an enormous forest green towel around myself and stood in the doorway of the bedroom. James was sitting on the bed, fully dressed. More factors I could control, he said, such as when and if he got naked. He’d been busy while I was in the shower. The room was lit with a dozen candles, and he’d hooked up my iPod to his little stereo. I heard the strains of Adagio for Strings and knew he’d set it to the classical playlist. “I’m impressed, Hetfield.” “Then come on over here so I can impress you some more, Tyler,” he winked. I walked over to him and stood between his legs and he gently ran his hand over my calf. “Very smooth. Shame you can’t get your tattoo there,” he grinned up at me. I smiled and ran my hand through his hair. He leaned his head against my stomach and I felt his fingers run up and down the back of my legs. Lifting his head, he looked up at me. “You can tell me to stop at any time. I won’t get mad, I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to, and I have very fast reflexes, so feel free to be sick, I’ll move out of the way,” he smiled. “Just try to relax, and keep your eyes open, okay? If you get scared, look at me. I’m not gonna hurt you, sweetie.” He kept his eyes locked with mine as his hands moved further up my legs. “Can we ditch the towel?” he whispered. I nodded and he tugged on it until it fell to the floor, puddling around our feet. He sucked in a breath and his eyes left mine briefly to travel over my body. Looking back up at me he grinned. “Well, now I’m impressed,” he laughed. I shivered a little and smiled back at him. “You okay?” His hands still roamed my legs. “Yeah, it’s weird. I’m not even that nervous. Little chilly though.” “Let’s see if we can get you warmed up,” he said softly, lifting one of my legs onto the bed. He steadied me with his hands and lowered his head. I felt his tongue lap at me slowly and I put both of my hands on his head, pulling him against me harder. I moaned his name and rocked against him as he moved one hand to slide a finger inside me. He pulled back slightly. “Look at me, baby, keep your pretty eyes on me,” he said as he continued to work another finger inside. I dropped my head and met his gaze. He smiled and laid a gentle kiss on my stomach. “Say my name again, sweetheart, so you know who’s doing this. It’s just me. Don’t think about anything else.” He licked his way along my waist as his fingers slid in and out of me rapidly. I whispered his name over and over, and he lowered his head again. Fisting my hands in his hair I bucked against him a final time and his name came out a scream. He lowered me onto his lap and tucked my head under his chin, rocking me until my breathing slowed a bit. The only sound was the music and it occurred to me that I might never be able to hear this song again without having an orgasm. James finally spoke. “Well?” I rubbed my face against his shirt. “Again,” I said, and he laughed. “Whatever you say,” he murmured and drew my chin up to kiss me. “Hey, no, eyes open,” he reminded me. I did as I was told and held his stare as his lips brushed against mine. “I liked the way you yelled my name,” he said against my mouth. His lips traveled down my neck. “I think I liked it so much that I want to hear it again.” Onto my collarbone. “James…” I said, my voice as unsteady as I felt. “Very nice, babe, but not quite what I was looking for. Try again,” I felt him smile against my skin and his mouth brushed over my nipple. “James,” gasping this time. I moaned as his used his teeth on me, and then swirled his tongue around the erect peak. “Getting closer, but I still think you can do better than that,” he slid his hand between my legs again and pressed his thumb against me, rubbing in circles. He sucked harder on my nipple and ran his free hand over my other breast. His thumb kept a steady rhythm and I felt myself tensing. He lifted his head and locked eyes with me as he suddenly thrust his fingers deep inside me. That was enough to drive me over the edge and I collapsed against him as I cried out his name. He held on to me, kissing me gently as I shuddered, still reeling from the pleasure. “Close your eyes,” he said softly. I did so. “What do you see now?” I smiled. “Your face.” I opened my eyes and looked at him. Sliding off his knees I stood shakily in front of him. “So it’s currently Charlie 2, James 0. Wanna even the score?” He slid his arms around my hips. “Baby, you don’t have to. This isn’t about making me feel good, it’s about making you feel comfortable.” “I am comfortable. Now lift your arms.” He grinned and put them up. I pulled his shirt over his head and threw it aside. I sat back down, straddling his legs. “Hmmm, very nice. I’m not really sure where to begin. Maybe here?” I leaned forward and kissed him just below his ear. “Or maybe a little higher? Feel free to give pointers if I’m skipping over something you like,” I whispered before I pulled his earlobe into my mouth. His hands gripped my waist and he swallowed hard. “You don’t…need…pointers,” it came out as a growl and I giggled. I ran my hand through his hair and pulled his head sideways to give me better access to his neck. Sucking gently so I wouldn’t leave marks, I kissed a line down to his shoulder. “James?” “Mmmpph?” He mumbled against my neck. “I’m planning on kissing every inch of you, and it might be easier if we got rid of your jeans.” He pulled me to him for a long, soft kiss, and then stood up. I yanked at the top button and pulled the zipper down. He lifted my chin so our eyes met again and I smiled. “I’m okay, James, it’s fine. So far, so good.” He grasped my hands and pressed them against his chest. “I don’t wanna rush you.” He slid his jeans off and then lay on the bed. I stretched out beside him, our bodies not quite touching. He stroked a hand over my cheek. “Beautiful girl,” he said softly. “Handsome man,” I said back to him. He chuckled. “James? C’mon, you know you’re a hottie,” I giggled. He raised an eyebrow. “I’m the frontman for Met. I think that’s where the attraction lies for most people,” he said. “Oh man. James…have you seen you?” I sat up. “You could be the frontman for San Francisco garbage collectors, and the attraction would be there.” He snorted and rolled onto his back. “My, my. I can see we’re going to have to do something about this. Get up,” I pulled his arm and hauled him off the bed with me. He groaned in protest but I didn’t let go. I stood him in front of the full length mirror that hung on the back of the door. “Sweetie? Take a good look. Forget about James Hetfield, lead singer and rhythm guitarist. Just be James. Now, let’s start from the top. Sexy blond hair, keeping it a little long, I see, good stuff.” I traced my fingers over his Lead Foot tattoo. “Ink all over here,” I came around to face him, “and here,” I added, running my fingers over his chest, “and here.” I slid my hands down his arms. “And muscles as far as the eye can see.” He laughed and I gave him my most stern face. “James, please, we’re in the middle of a discussion of your hotness. Please try to be serious. This is important,” I winked at him. He linked his hands behind my back and leaned down for a kiss. “Why can’t we discuss your hotness?” I pulled away and stared at him. “Because that would take all night,” I deadpanned. He threw his head back and gave a roar of laughter. “Now stop interrupting me. Where was I? Ah yes. Muscles.” I slid my hands over his chest and stood on tiptoe to lick at the hollow of his throat. “So I guess we’ve covered your upper body. Moving on,” I shot him a sly look. “We have the legs. Very long, no ink – yet – and more muscles again.” The eyebrow went up again as I slid my hand down his thigh. “See? Strong. But really, James, to make a fully informed decision on exactly how hot you are, I’m gonna have to see your butt.” He closed his eyes and smiled, shaking his head in what I hoped was disbelief, and not an outright refusal. Sighing in mock frustration, he hooked his thumbs in his boxers and slid them down. Stepping out of them, he backed up from me and I saw his eyes searching my face for any sign of panic. “Turn around!” I waved my index finger in a circle and then giggled as he held out his arms and did a slow twirl for me. “Yes, just as I thought,” I said as I walked slowly towards him. “Hot.” I got closer. “Scorching, actually.” I was inches away. I looked up at him. “There is a very good chance that you may burst into flames…” I pushed him onto the bed and settled in between his legs. “Charlie, sweetie, you don’t have to do that,” he looked down at me with so much tenderness that I almost began to cry. “Please, James? I need to do this. For me, okay?” “Okay, but…you can still stop at any time. I might actually burst into flames, but I’d rather that than you be hurt.” “Hetfield?” “Tyler?” he smiled. “Enough talking.” I slid my hand over him and watched as his eyes closed and his head fell back against the pillows. Holding him in a light grip, I moved my hand up and down in a slow rhythm. I watched him, his chest rising and falling and his breaths coming in slow, controlled movements, as though he had focused all of his energy into remaining calm. Calm was no good. I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. For a moment, I just rested him on my tongue, waiting to see if the nausea would rear its ugly head. But it didn’t. He tasted sweet and salty at once, and the only thing I smelled was the clean, male smell that was all James. “Baby?” His voice was anxious. I looked up and met his eyes, and stayed focused on him as I slid my mouth down his length. He moaned and though I could tell it was a struggle, he kept his eyes open, not quite willing to break that contact. I picked up speed and his breathing became faster. Lifting my head, I sat back on my heels. As if reading my mind, he reached over to the window sill and picked up a foil packet. “I was tested three months ago,” he said quietly. “One of those suggestions I couldn’t ignore without coming off like the bad guy. But I’ll use this if you like, won’t bother me at all, sweets.” I moved forward so I was astride his waist, and took it from his hand. “I was tested in March.” He looked surprised. “Force of habit,” I explained. “And I had the anti-baby shot in my butt three weeks ago, so I’m good.” I smiled at him as I tossed the condom over my shoulder. Bending down to run my tongue over his lips, I slowly lowered my body so I was laying on top of him. “You alright with the ‘groin action’?” he asked, sliding his hands down my back. “You’re not secretly freaking out, are you?” I shifted up slightly and then slid back down, taking him inside me before I had time to think about it. He moaned and gripped my hips as I sat up and started to move. “Look at me, James,” I murmured, lifting his hands to my breasts. His eyes flew open and he moaned. “You feel so good, baby,” he whispered. He pulled me forward and rolled me over as he kissed me gently. “Is this okay?” he looked down at me, resting on his elbows as he pulled himself almost all the way out of me and then slid back in with a slow thrust. I nodded and bit my lip, moving my hands up to his hair to pull him to me. He was being so careful. “James, you’re not gonna break me. This feels good, and I’m not scared. You don’t have to hold back.” “You’re sure?” he asked breathlessly. “C’mon, impress me again,” I grinned. He hesitated for a moment and then slammed into me, and I moaned his name. He did it again and I moaned louder. He buried his face in my neck, mumbling things I couldn’t hear, and I scraped my nails over his back. “Please baby…wanna feel you. Let go for me, James.” He arched his back and thrust into me again and again, picking up speed and intensity until we both cried out together, and I felt his release inside of me. He slipped his arms under me and rolled, pulling my head against his chest. “Charlie 3, James 1. We’re gonna work on evening that up in the morning,” he laughed softly. I smiled and lifted my head to look at him. He ran a hand over my hair. “You look…relaxed,” he said. “Was it okay? You weren’t scared?” I brushed my lips over his, and felt his mouth open, tongue sliding out to touch my own. I moaned slightly and pulled on his bottom lip with my teeth. “Not even a little bit,” I said, nipping at his jaw. “And it was better than okay, James,” I moved over and sucked lightly on his neck. “You’re amazing.” He turned so he was on his side, facing me. “Thank you, baby. You were pretty amazing yourself. We should get some sleep. Sun’ll be up in a couple of hours.” He cupped my face in his hand, stroking his thumb over my cheekbone. “If you start to feel weird, or sick, or sad, or worried or anything that isn’t happy and relaxed, please, please wake me up? I want to be sure that you’re okay with this.” I nodded and pushed him gently so he was on his back, and then snuggled up against his side, smiling as I felt his arm wrap around me, pulling me close. |
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Pepper and Charlie sound like great friends, and I wonder what's going to happen with her and Lars?
Poor Lars
She's far too trusting, she's clumsy, she gets a little slutty later on, because I couldn't decide on which guy to put her with, and I pretty much made a ton of bad shit happen to her just to further the storyline. It's pretty much a soap opera.
But it was super fun to write.

TLITD is my favourite fic to read!!! I remember reading it on the other board but didnt finish reading itr 
8:39 PM Jul 10